January 25, 2024 • 35 mins
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Have you ever felt like motherhood demands your entire being, leaving little room for the woman you were before? It's time we redefine what it means to be a mother without losing ourselves in the process. On today's episode of All Our Little Messes, I peel back the layers of parental expectation and share why carving out space for self-care is not just a luxury, but a necessity. We'll journey together through the complexities of finding purpose, even in the minutiae of everyday parenting challenges.
Motherhood is a mosaic of individuality, and each piece reflects a unique style and approach that has no standard template. This episode celebrates the diverse expressions of motherhood, exploring how personal fulfillment and maintaining one's sense of self are not only possible but also essential for a thriving family life. I open up about the controversial subject of working mothers, offering insights into how we can support each other's choices and foster an environment where judgment gives way to encouragement.
Balancing a career and family life is akin to conducting an orchestra of competing demands, each vying for your attention and energy. Through personal anecdotes and heartfelt reflections, I share the strategies that have helped me manage the struggles of being a working mom. We'll talk about realistic expectations, time management, and the importance of personal achievements that fuel our sense of accomplishment. Join me as we affirm the power of purpose in motherhood and the unshakable strength that comes from nurturing not only our families but ourselves as well.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hello and welcome to All Our Little Messes, a podcast
focused on healing throughintentional conversations about
parenting, relationships,religion and more.
I am your host, veronica Winrod, and I'm so happy to have you
here listening in on my thoughtstoday.
I hope you enjoy this episode.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Hello and welcome back to All Our Little Messes.
Today I wanted to talk to youguys a little bit about finding
our purpose in motherhood, whichis something that I know I have
struggled with a lot as I'vehad my children and as parenting
has changed my life and mymarriage.
I've struggled with it a lotand I know a lot of women around
(00:57):
me have as well, because it'sparenting and motherhood.
It changes our lives and goingthrough such a drastic change so
quickly Sometimes we're talkinglike in a matter of an hour a
woman can go from being marriedto and being pregnant to having
(01:20):
a child that she has to care forand she has to basically just
be turned on.
Her on switch has to be on for24-7 for this little being and
you lose yourself in that.
A lot of women can't findthemselves after that.
(01:40):
They can't find their purposein life after that.
I wanted to talk about thattoday because the last couple
weeks especially, I've startedto think about that and that's
become very important to mebecause I've definitely found
(02:01):
myself becoming lost in it alland having to stop and take a
step back and try to identify mygoals again and identify the
direction I'm wanting our familylife, to go and talk to my
husband and reiterate our plansfor the next five years, because
(02:24):
I find myself getting lost inthe day-to-day struggles of my
five-year-old won't eat hisdinner and I have to chase my
three-year-old down because hefound something, or my
two-year-old down sorry, becausehe found something.
And now that I have a newbornor actually, goodness, she's
almost two months old now, butnow that I have a new baby it
(02:47):
all compounds into this everydaystruggle that just repeats in
the same way every single dayand you drown in that and you
can't find yourself anymore.
It's very important that westop often and think about our
(03:14):
life and our goals and ourchildren's goals and where we
want our lives to go.
And I know that doesn't alwaysfulfill societal expectations of
what a mother should be,because there's definitely this
image that a mother should be.
(03:36):
You know this all-sacrificingperson who gives up everything,
and you know even down to whoshe is and her goals in life and
things like that.
She gives up everything for herchildren and for her husband
(03:57):
and for her family, and that isI mean don't get me wrong that
is a very admirable thing to doand there are, you know,
millions of women throughouthistory who have done that exact
thing.
They have, you know, abandonedthemselves in service to their
families, and well, in a sense,that is the very essence of
(04:20):
motherhood.
At the same time, you know,it's difficult to give of
yourself to other people if youlose all sense of who you are.
So I'm trying to think ofanother way to put this that
would make more sense.
You can't pour from an emptycup.
Essentially, we have to befulfilled and we have to be
(04:45):
rested and we have to notnecessarily be happy, but we
have to be content and have astillness and spirit in order to
properly sacrificially serveour families.
And so it's important that youknow, as mothers, we don't fall
(05:07):
into the trap of continuouslyjust giving, giving, giving,
giving, giving without anybreaks, without any stops and
without a care for ourselves,because inevitably that will
backfire and it will harm ourfamilies.
Like we have to stop, we haveto take a break, we have to, you
know, take time for ourselves,and the thing they call it these
(05:29):
days is, you know, self-care,take time for self-care.
And you know a lot of peoplelaugh at that online.
I've seen, you know, the GenXers and boomers, you know,
talking about how, back in myday, you know, mothers didn't,
didn't need to do self-carebecause they gladly served their
(05:49):
families.
And there's there's actuallyone Twitter account in
particular I'm thinking of rightnow she, she made a post like
that the other day and I wasjust blown away because for one,
for you to say that.
You know, back in my day, womenjust sacrificially served their
(06:10):
families without any thought.
It's so For one, it's sodegrading to those women that
you're speaking of, because, youknow, mothers in this day and
age are in the trenches.
Okay, we're actively raisingthe next generation, so we know
how hard it is.
So for you know, women to tellus, older women to tell us that,
(06:32):
oh, you know, it's not thathard, stop being a baby, stop
whining.
It's Gaslighting is honestlywhat it is, because this is very
difficult.
It's very difficult and we doget lost, and so it's.
It's just Degrading to thosewomen that have already gone
(06:53):
through it to tell them that youknow, it wasn't that hard
Basically.
And then, secondly, it's it'sagain like I said, it's, you
know, gaslighting the currentgeneration who is going through
it right now.
We do know how hard it is.
So Don't you know, don't sitthere and try to downplay.
(07:14):
You know the very difficultjourney we're going through in
raising you know your grandkidsand your great-grandkids like
it's Not an easy job.
So, no, we, we definitely doneed to take time for you know,
self-care and finding findingourselves In the middle of all
(07:34):
this, because otherwise, youknow it, it does, it affects,
affects our family, because ifwe're pouring from an empty cup,
if we're always in, you know,flat, or flight fight, or flight
mode, crisis mode, and we'reare.
You know, our Stress hormonesare up, it's inevitably going to
cause a breakdown, like we aregoing to snap, and Because we're
(07:58):
mothers, we spend most of ourtime around our children, and
the victims of that breakdown oryou know the effects of us
snapping are going to be, youknow, our children and our, you
know, our husband or our spouse,and that's not fair to them
either.
So if we're going to be, youknow, actual sacrificial, like
self-sacrificing mothers, thenwe have to take time for
(08:22):
ourselves to find our purpose,to find our direction in life so
that we can actually be Goodmothers.
We can't, there's no other wayto do it.
And so I know a lot of womenwho have found their purpose and
, honestly, like I look at themand I'm just like, oh my
(08:43):
goodness, your super mom,because these women are, they
truly are super moms.
They have, you know, full-time.
I'll be there.
They are staying at home whilethey do this, but it is still a
full-time job.
They're carrying out full-timejobs from home while raising
four or five children, making,you know, going to the gym for
(09:03):
an hour every single morning,drinking a gallon of water,
breastfeeding their youngestbaby, and One woman in
particular I'm thinking of,still has time to make sourdough
.
Now, anybody that doessourdough knows how
time-consuming that can be.
Like I tried to do sourdough.
It didn't work out for mebecause I I have so much going
(09:27):
on at home and Every singlenight I would go to bed and I'd
be laying there and be like, ohmy goodness, I am forgetting
something.
What did I forget to do today?
What did I forget to do?
And every single night I wouldalmost be asleep and I'd be like
, oh shoot, I forgot to feed thesourdough.
So it'd be at 10, 11 o'clock atnight.
I would be getting up to gopull out my jug of my you know
(09:49):
big old bucket jug of flour andGo feed the sourdough.
And my husband be like you arecrazy.
Like just let it go.
So yeah, I, the sourdoughdidn't work out for me, it died.
I I had a starter that I put inthe fridge because everybody
told me you know, just put yoursourdough in the fridge and
it'll be fine, and you can leaveit in there for months even.
(10:12):
And I left it in there for sixmonths and I was, I Didn't even
want to try to revive it.
I was just like you know, Ithink I'm done with the
sourdough, because again, it'sone of those time-consuming
things that when you're in thetrenches of motherhood you just
don't have the time for.
But anyways, no, there's.
These women are just so, youknow, powerful with you, know
(10:36):
their direction in life, likethey have.
They have found that purposeand that is just so admirable to
me.
And I mean they really are thedefinition and I've talked,
talked about this before butthey really are the definition
of the super mom and I, you know, I've talked about the dangers
of Trying to be a super mom andthat's definitely not what I'm
(10:58):
advocating for here.
Like, don't try to do it all,but what I'm am saying is To
find your purpose in life, findsomething that drives you
Outside of your family.
I mean, our family is ourultimate sacrifice, it is our
ultimate goal to serve them.
But To my mind, in order toserve them correctly, we have to
(11:22):
find something that is personalto us.
That is this that will give usa sense of achievement outside
of.
You know the everyday strugglesof Getting the five-year-old to
eat his food and chasing thetwo-year-old down.
Think that's something that isoutside of that.
And for me, I'm actually takinga couple of business courses
(11:42):
right now and that gives me asense of achievement and purpose
outside of my family and ithelps center me so much.
And I think that is veryimportant.
For for mothers today to do isFind something that that calms
(12:03):
their mind at night, somethingthat Focuses them, something
that gives them a sense ofachievement outside of their
families and, like I find thatwhen I I do that, I I'm calmer,
I feel less overwhelmed.
I have, you know, a better,clear revision of the future.
I can.
I can make plans with an easier, clearer mind.
(12:26):
I Don't snap at my children asmuch because my mind is it's
Difficult to explain, but it'sclearer in a sense, like I can
focus better because I have this, this drive in sense of
achievement going, and maybeit's just, you know, the, the,
(12:47):
what is it called?
Dopamine?
Yeah, the dopamine hit that I'mtalking about here, that I'm
feeling, but when I focus on aproject and I try to find
something outside of the familythat is Mine, essentially it is,
it's very helpful and andcentering me and helping me to
be a better, better mom.
(13:09):
Something else that reallyHelped me a lot was basically
embracing the chaos that is thereality of being a mom, and but
what I mean by that is you meanyou look at all of these tick
tock and Instagram accounts, youknow YouTube channels and stuff
(13:30):
and their houses are perfect,right, everything is white,
everything is beige.
There are no stains.
You know there's.
There's no food in the carpet.
You know the toddler didn'tpeel an orange on the white
couch or whatever they did thatday.
Nobody dropped a strawberry onthe cream beige rug.
So that, in my mind, is notreality.
(13:54):
That is not reality and we needto get rid of that image in our
minds because that is notsomething we should be trying to
achieve, because it's notrealistic.
It's okay if you know yourhouse is not cream and beige and
white, you know, and notperfectly clean.
And the sooner I accepted that,like I, I just accept it that my
(14:21):
house wasn't always going to beclean.
I accepted that there weregonna be toys on my floor, that
I was gonna have to sweep thefloor, you know, a hundred times
a day that I was going to beconstantly doing dishes and
washing bottles.
I was gonna have to vacuum thefloor more often than I did
before I had kids, like therewas no way for me to keep the
house to the same standards ofcare that it was before I had
(14:44):
kids, when it was just me and myhusband, and so the sooner I
accepted that, the sooner I feltlike this sense of peace when
it came to just.
You know the normal everydayupkeep around the house and you
know balancing that with makinglike a daily not even a daily,
(15:06):
more like a weekly schedule ofself-care to do Even something
as simple as taking a weeklybubble bath on the same day, at
the same time, every single week.
It was when I did it.
I haven't done it in a while,but when I did it it was
absolutely amazing because itgave me something to look
(15:29):
forward to.
So like I would look forward tothis bath every single week,
because I would do it the sameday, same time, I used epsom
salts and like a bubble bath andlike I would bring a book in
there and like a glass of wine,and it was like this whole
ritual that I did and it wasabsolutely amazing and I really
(15:49):
should start doing it again.
Now that I'm thinking aboutthis sounds so amazing.
Why did I stop?
But you know balancing, youknow the responsibilities, you
have an off-setting, you knowall of that chaos and the
realities of motherhood with youknow self-care is also huge
(16:09):
when it comes to calmingyourself and finding you.
Know, centering yourself andfinding that sense of purpose in
your life to know that thatwill carry you through these
times when we're, you know, downdeep in the trenches taking
care of the toddlers.
Another thing that was helpfulwas basically saying no, was
just saying no, and learning tosay no to, for one, societal
(16:34):
pressures of you.
Know how your kids shouldbehave, how your kids should
look, how you should look, howyou should behave, what your
family should be like, yourfamily dynamics, what your
marriage should look like, howyou should be raising your kids.
Like everybody has Opinions,everybody has judgments.
Everybody's going to pressureyou to do things the way they
(16:57):
think you should do them and thesooner you Decide not to do
that, the sooner you will startto feel like this sense of peace
, like within your family,because you know those Outside
opinions and judgments arehonestly just noise like we
don't need to listen to that.
We don't need that in our lifeand it's only going to bring us
(17:20):
down and weigh us down and letwe need to trust in ourselves
and in our newfound purpose of,you know, being a great mother
and and being the greatestversion of yourself.
We need to trust in that Tolead our families and not in
outside pressures and opinionsand judgments like this.
(17:42):
It's, honestly, just noise.
Just turn it, turn it off, turnit out.
You don't need to hear thatbecause, like I said, everybody
has has opinions and most of thetime they're wrong because
they're crazy people.
So that helps me a lot.
When I just stopped Caring aboutyou know the, the visions of
(18:07):
perfect motherhood on socialmedia and the opinions of
everyone around me on how Ishould raise my kids, and you
know the rights and wrongs of mymarriage and you know how my
Childhood was acting thisparticular day.
Whatever I Started when Istarted ignoring that, I just
felt I felt so much peacebecause in the end, you don't
(18:30):
have to answer to those peoplefor any mistakes that you made
in parenting.
You have to answer to God andyou have to answer to yourself
and you have to answer to yourchildren.
You're not gonna be answeringto Josh mode on the street who,
you know, thinks you should, youknow, cut out meals for your
kid when he disobeys or whateverCrazy ideas people have these
days sometimes.
So, yeah, just, you don't haveto answer to them, so why do
(18:54):
their opinions matter?
Another thing that Really helpsand it's helped me is I would
call it like a form ofmeditation.
Honestly, it was just.
I honestly would just like sitand reflect and think on my
(19:14):
personal values and like mypriorities in life and I think
about.
You know things that interestedme, and you know different
passions I'd have and differentthings I was.
You know I would be researchingat the time, because Anybody
that knows me knows that I Ijumped from I'm Passion to the
(19:36):
hobby.
It's just, I'm all over theplace.
You know something that'llinterest me, will interest me
for a month, two months, andthen I'll lose interest in it
and Jump out of the next thing,but while I'm interested in that
topic and in that hobby, I'mlike all in, I learned
everything I can about it and Ibasically become a master at it.
It's very weird, but here weare, so like I.
(20:03):
It is interesting, though,because a lot of these things
that I jump into often help mein my role as a mother, like in
time management, and you knowbudgeting and things like that
for a while, and I actually didcarry this one, three of her
while I was interested in likeaccounting and so I took a whole
(20:29):
course on it and like Ifinished the course, got all the
certifications and everything.
So now I'm like fully certifiedto be an accountant, like a
bookkeeper, and that actually Iwas able to like completely redo
our budgets and like our booksand everything and that, so that
like that kind of thingcompletely helped In my role as
a wife and a mother and likehelping my husband with his
(20:52):
businesses and stuff.
So you know, identifying your,your strengths and your passions
is huge and like A journey ofself discovery, I guess he would
say, like learning aboutyourself and learning about your
, your passions and your, yourfocus in life and your purpose,
(21:15):
finding your true purpose, andlike redirecting everything and
channeling it where it should go.
And it also like learning allof these, like exploring my
hobbies and like finding outwhat my passions, my interest in
my, my talents where it alsohelped Like explore
opportunities and findopportunities for like personal
(21:38):
and like future growth.
Like because I did all thesethings and I got good at doing
some things I was able, likeopportunities open for me that I
never would have Even thoughtof doing before.
Like I'm, like the businesscourses I'm taking right now,
I'm going to be able to applyand actually put into a
(21:58):
hopefully, fingers crossed,that's looking like a fairly
viable business.
And so Identifying, you know,your passions and your interest
and finding out what you're goodat, can really help, like
define your purpose and openopportunities for you know,
personal growth within yourfamily.
That can actually, you know,help drive your family to know,
(22:19):
to greater success.
And that's I mean, that's whatbeing a mother is all about is,
you know, driving your familytowards success and towards
Christ.
And so you know, basically,anything you can do to make you
a better version of yourself isgoing to help your family do
(22:40):
that.
And so you know, always, always, always, try to be learning
about yourself, learning aboutyour weaknesses and your
strengths and what makes youbetter at certain jobs.
You know, do you, do you have asense, a good sense, of time
management?
Do you not have a good sense oftime management?
Are you a good organizer?
Can, are you?
(23:01):
You know, good at math and youknow doing books and you know,
just like try to find your, thethings you're good at, your
strengths, and then, whileyou're at it, you know, find out
what your weaknesses are.
You know are.
Are you bad at time management?
Are you, you know, always latefor things?
I know I am.
You know, having three kidsdoes not make for good time
(23:22):
management, you know.
So things like that, like, justfind out what your weaknesses
are and really try to overcomethose so that you can become the
greater version of yourself,which, in turn, is going to, you
know, strengthen your sense ofpurpose to make you a better
mother, and you know, findingthat that creativity as well.
(23:47):
Like, being a mom isn't a onesize fits all kind of thing.
There is no one size fits allplaybook for being a mom.
So one of the best things wecan do is find out the way we
can be a mom, because everybody,like I mentioned earlier,
(24:08):
everybody has an opinion and ajudgment, and one of the
opinions and judgments thatpeople like to have is they have
the perfect recipe for beingthe world's greatest mom, and
that is simply not true.
Like I have mentioned this inearlier podcast episodes, our
job is to become the greatestmother we can for our children,
(24:30):
because our children were givento us for a reason Because we
were going to become the bestmom for them, and so we don't
need to be anybody else'sversion of the best mom.
We just need to be our ownversion of the best mom.
So find out what makes you thebest mom.
Are you creative?
(24:50):
Are you organized?
Are you you know?
Do you lay down the law?
Are you firm?
That kind of thing Like Ireally want to encourage, like
self-expression here when itcomes to how your parents and
how you find your purpose andmotherhood, because that's what
makes us great is beingourselves Right and being
(25:14):
creative when it comes to youknow how we discipline our kids
and you know how we encouragethem.
And another thing that canreally make us great is now, I
might get black for this one,but you don't necessarily have
to stay home to be a great mom.
Sometimes there is a need forus, for women, to work, and I
(25:39):
just want to point out thatthose of us moms who find
ourselves in the position wherewe have to work, or we, even
those of us who find ourselvesin the position of wanting to
work, are still good moms.
Like, coming where I come from,working moms were looked down on
because they weren't fulfillingtheir jobs.
(26:04):
Basically, they weren't doingtheir jobs because they weren't
staying home with their kids,and I find that incredibly
damaging because we don't knowthe circumstances in that family
.
We have no idea what they'regoing through.
It is not our place to judge.
You know what that mom is doingand I myself have worked and
(26:24):
like knowing the struggles Iknow now that a working mom has
to go through, knowing what Iknow.
Now, like I am ashamed to saythat, you know, I used to have
those opinions about workingmoms.
I used to think that theyweren't doing their jobs because
they were going off to work andtheir kids were suffering
because they had to be washed bya babysitter or they had to go
to the public schools orwhatever.
(26:45):
Whatever the things I said, I'mashamed to say that I said
those things because going towork and leaving my son at home
was one of the hardest things Ihad to do, every single day.
I hated it, I hated leaving andI was always so excited to come
home, and so it's definitelynot something that we should
(27:05):
pass judgment on.
Let's just say I wouldn't saysomething to be considered
because, obviously, like, theultimate goal of a mother is to
stay home with her children andraise them and be with them, and
I mean that's kind of thedefining role of being a mom.
But for those of us that don'thave that option, there's
nothing wrong with that andthat's the road we have been set
(27:28):
on in life.
And because we've been set onthat road, it would be our
responsibility and our job towalk that road the best way we
can, to the best of our ability.
So I would really just, yeah, Iwould just say, just don't pass
judgment on working moms,because it's not an easy road
and those of us moms who walkthat gracefully are so
(27:52):
impressive to me because, again,I know the struggle.
So kudos to you guys, butanyways, yeah, so you know, and
another thing I wanted to pointout so, like things that are
difficult and I mentioned thisas a struggle of mine, you know
is when it comes to balancing,you know, motherhood and like
(28:12):
personal goals, so like timemanagement and and like setting
realistic expectations formyself and things like that.
I, I, I really struggled withtime management.
I really really do.
And so it's difficult for me tobalance motherhood and personal
goals I have for myself,because in my life, you know,
(28:36):
motherhood takes first priority.
Obviously I mean my kids, mykids need me and so, and if I'm
not there to provide for them,to help them, they suffer for it
because you know they'rethey're tiny little children,
they're helpful little children,so they, they need me.
So, obviously, like, motherhoodtakes first priority in my life
and oftentimes that means thatpersonal goals I've set myself
(29:00):
they take the back burner and Isometimes don't get to them for,
you know, weeks on end I justit's just not something I focus
on because, again, the kids needme.
So one thing that I've reallystruggled with is, you know one,
setting, you know, boundariesfor myself and you know learning
(29:22):
, time management and settingrealistic expectations for
myself.
And especially with the lastone, setting realistic
expectations, like I really comedown hard on myself because you
know I'll set, I'll set a goalof you know wanting to work on a
project for, you know, two tofour hours this day, and then
(29:42):
you know, comes down to the endof the day and I haven't worked
even five minutes on that goal,and like I really come down hard
on myself because you know Ididn't fulfill my goal for the
day I'm basically I'm like I'mfeeling I'm behind, I'm failing
at my job, I'm feeling at myproject and that is such an
unrealistic expectation to setfor myself because I'm
(30:05):
forgetting that my first goal isto be the best mom I can.
And so you know if, if mypersonal goals have to take a
backseat to that temporarily,that's fine.
I just need to learn bettertime management strategies so
that that doesn't always happen,because, again, you have to
(30:27):
have that sense of purposeoutside of you know, that sense
of achievement and that sense ofpurpose outside of being a mom,
so that you can be, you know, acalm, centered, stable mother.
So learning time management andsetting realistic expectations
really go, really go hand inhand, because when you're a mom
(30:48):
and you have, you know, personalgoals outside of being a mom,
like you have to have both.
You have to have timemanagement, you have to have,
you need to know time managementand you need to have realistic
expectations, because yourpersonal goals may or may not
happen that day.
You may have to put them in theback burner for the next day,
(31:09):
and that's totally okay, and thenext day you can try to figure
out how to manage your timebetter or work things around a
little bit more so that you canget in some time for yourself.
And you know, sometimes thatmeans telling your partner when
he comes home that hey, you knowwhat I am clocking out as a
parent for the day.
I need to go work on some stuffor I need to take an hour break
(31:31):
, and you know I do thatsometimes.
You know my husband will comehome, I will hand in the baby.
Oh, you know, there's pumpedmilk in the fridge.
And one thing I have found thatis incredibly calming is
actually grab my Bible and I gofind like a park or somewhere
that's like quiet and I just sitin my car and I read the Bible
(31:55):
for like an hour and itcompletely empties my mind and
it's the most amazing thing.
I did it last week.
I was having a really hard day,so I went to the grocery store,
did my grocery shopping, I wentand picked up some Panda
Express, that really junkieChinese food that I would never
recommend anybody eat.
(32:16):
But I went and got some junkfood and then I sat in a parking
lot with my Bible and I justate junk food and read the Bible
and it was the best hour of mylife.
I'm not even joking, you guys.
It was so calming, sorefreshing and so nice and I
honestly can't wait to do itagain.
I would highly recommendanybody sit in an empty parking
(32:36):
lot with a Bible.
It is so good.
But, yes, take the time you know.
Set realistic expectations foryourself.
Don't go overboard.
Don't expect too much ofyourself.
Don't come down hard onyourself.
Learn better time managementwhen you don't, you know, meet
those you know realisticexpectations.
Be like okay, what can I do thenext day to meet those
(32:59):
realistic expectations?
What can I do to find mypurpose?
You know, a little bit betterthe next day.
And if it's still not working,you may need to take a step back
, take a break, go, find anempty parking lot with your
Bible, empty your mind, justcalm down and then come back and
revisit the next day Like we'renot going to achieve anything.
(33:19):
We're not going to find ourpurpose in life if we're always
in fight or flight, if we'realways in crisis mode.
So we need to just calm downand really work on on centering
ourselves and finding thatpurpose in our lives.
Otherwise again, we're going tobe pouring from an empty cup
(33:40):
and our kids are not going toget the best version of
ourselves.
Thank you very much, you guys,for listening to this episode of
All Our Little Messes.
Something I wanted to run byyou guys is I've been thinking
about hosting a Q&A with all ourlisteners to submit questions
(34:03):
and bring up, you know, maybemaybe submit ideas for future
podcast episodes.
If there's something you guyswant to like, hear me talk about
.
So yeah, and also I thoughtabout bringing on a couple of,
you know, fellow mothers tobring on to the kind of like a
(34:26):
panel discussion, to to a Q&Awith.
But yeah, I wanted to run thatby you guys and see what you
would think about me doingsomething like that.
I was thinking probably YouTubeor something like that.
So shoot me an email or amessage on Facebook or on
Instagram if you think this is agood idea or if you have any
(34:47):
questions about that kind ofpanel discussion.
But otherwise, thank you guysvery much for listening in this
week and I will see you nextThursday.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Thank you for tuning in to this episode of All Our
Little Messes.
Please let us know how much youenjoyed it below and add any
questions you have about thisepisode.
Also, don't forget to follow uson Patreon for amazing
exclusive perks, including earlyaccess to podcast episodes and
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(35:23):
We've also recently added asupport group for all of our
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You can check us out onFacebook and Instagram for daily
updates and insights thatmirror podcast topics.
Thank you for listening andwe'll see you next week.
Hello and welcome to All Our Little Messes, a podcast
focused on healing throughintentional conversations about
parenting, relationships,religion and more.
I am your host, veronica Winrod, and I'm so happy to have you
here listening in on my thoughtstoday.
I hope you enjoy this episode.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Hello and welcome back to All Our Little Messes.
Today I wanted to talk to youguys a little bit about finding
our purpose in motherhood, whichis something that I know I have
struggled with a lot as I'vehad my children and as parenting
has changed my life and mymarriage.
I've struggled with it a lotand I know a lot of women around
(00:57):
me have as well, because it'sparenting and motherhood.
It changes our lives and goingthrough such a drastic change so
quickly Sometimes we're talkinglike in a matter of an hour a
woman can go from being marriedto and being pregnant to having
(01:20):
a child that she has to care forand she has to basically just
be turned on.
Her on switch has to be on for24-7 for this little being and
you lose yourself in that.
A lot of women can't findthemselves after that.
(01:40):
They can't find their purposein life after that.
I wanted to talk about thattoday because the last couple
weeks especially, I've startedto think about that and that's
become very important to mebecause I've definitely found
(02:01):
myself becoming lost in it alland having to stop and take a
step back and try to identify mygoals again and identify the
direction I'm wanting our familylife, to go and talk to my
husband and reiterate our plansfor the next five years, because
(02:24):
I find myself getting lost inthe day-to-day struggles of my
five-year-old won't eat hisdinner and I have to chase my
three-year-old down because hefound something, or my
two-year-old down sorry, becausehe found something.
And now that I have a newbornor actually, goodness, she's
almost two months old now, butnow that I have a new baby it
(02:47):
all compounds into this everydaystruggle that just repeats in
the same way every single dayand you drown in that and you
can't find yourself anymore.
It's very important that westop often and think about our
(03:14):
life and our goals and ourchildren's goals and where we
want our lives to go.
And I know that doesn't alwaysfulfill societal expectations of
what a mother should be,because there's definitely this
image that a mother should be.
(03:36):
You know this all-sacrificingperson who gives up everything,
and you know even down to whoshe is and her goals in life and
things like that.
She gives up everything for herchildren and for her husband
(03:57):
and for her family, and that isI mean don't get me wrong that
is a very admirable thing to doand there are, you know,
millions of women throughouthistory who have done that exact
thing.
They have, you know, abandonedthemselves in service to their
families, and well, in a sense,that is the very essence of
(04:20):
motherhood.
At the same time, you know,it's difficult to give of
yourself to other people if youlose all sense of who you are.
So I'm trying to think ofanother way to put this that
would make more sense.
You can't pour from an emptycup.
Essentially, we have to befulfilled and we have to be
(04:45):
rested and we have to notnecessarily be happy, but we
have to be content and have astillness and spirit in order to
properly sacrificially serveour families.
And so it's important that youknow, as mothers, we don't fall
(05:07):
into the trap of continuouslyjust giving, giving, giving,
giving, giving without anybreaks, without any stops and
without a care for ourselves,because inevitably that will
backfire and it will harm ourfamilies.
Like we have to stop, we haveto take a break, we have to, you
know, take time for ourselves,and the thing they call it these
(05:29):
days is, you know, self-care,take time for self-care.
And you know a lot of peoplelaugh at that online.
I've seen, you know, the GenXers and boomers, you know,
talking about how, back in myday, you know, mothers didn't,
didn't need to do self-carebecause they gladly served their
(05:49):
families.
And there's there's actuallyone Twitter account in
particular I'm thinking of rightnow she, she made a post like
that the other day and I wasjust blown away because for one,
for you to say that.
You know, back in my day, womenjust sacrificially served their
(06:10):
families without any thought.
It's so For one, it's sodegrading to those women that
you're speaking of, because, youknow, mothers in this day and
age are in the trenches.
Okay, we're actively raisingthe next generation, so we know
how hard it is.
So for you know, women to tellus, older women to tell us that,
(06:32):
oh, you know, it's not thathard, stop being a baby, stop
whining.
It's Gaslighting is honestlywhat it is, because this is very
difficult.
It's very difficult and we doget lost, and so it's.
It's just Degrading to thosewomen that have already gone
(06:53):
through it to tell them that youknow, it wasn't that hard
Basically.
And then, secondly, it's it'sagain like I said, it's, you
know, gaslighting the currentgeneration who is going through
it right now.
We do know how hard it is.
So Don't you know, don't sitthere and try to downplay.
(07:14):
You know the very difficultjourney we're going through in
raising you know your grandkidsand your great-grandkids like
it's Not an easy job.
So, no, we, we definitely doneed to take time for you know,
self-care and finding findingourselves In the middle of all
(07:34):
this, because otherwise, youknow it, it does, it affects,
affects our family, because ifwe're pouring from an empty cup,
if we're always in, you know,flat, or flight fight, or flight
mode, crisis mode, and we'reare.
You know, our Stress hormonesare up, it's inevitably going to
cause a breakdown, like we aregoing to snap, and Because we're
(07:58):
mothers, we spend most of ourtime around our children, and
the victims of that breakdown oryou know the effects of us
snapping are going to be, youknow, our children and our, you
know, our husband or our spouse,and that's not fair to them
either.
So if we're going to be, youknow, actual sacrificial, like
self-sacrificing mothers, thenwe have to take time for
(08:22):
ourselves to find our purpose,to find our direction in life so
that we can actually be Goodmothers.
We can't, there's no other wayto do it.
And so I know a lot of womenwho have found their purpose and
, honestly, like I look at themand I'm just like, oh my
(08:43):
goodness, your super mom,because these women are, they
truly are super moms.
They have, you know, full-time.
I'll be there.
They are staying at home whilethey do this, but it is still a
full-time job.
They're carrying out full-timejobs from home while raising
four or five children, making,you know, going to the gym for
(09:03):
an hour every single morning,drinking a gallon of water,
breastfeeding their youngestbaby, and One woman in
particular I'm thinking of,still has time to make sourdough
.
Now, anybody that doessourdough knows how
time-consuming that can be.
Like I tried to do sourdough.
It didn't work out for mebecause I I have so much going
(09:27):
on at home and Every singlenight I would go to bed and I'd
be laying there and be like, ohmy goodness, I am forgetting
something.
What did I forget to do today?
What did I forget to do?
And every single night I wouldalmost be asleep and I'd be like
, oh shoot, I forgot to feed thesourdough.
So it'd be at 10, 11 o'clock atnight.
I would be getting up to gopull out my jug of my you know
(09:49):
big old bucket jug of flour andGo feed the sourdough.
And my husband be like you arecrazy.
Like just let it go.
So yeah, I, the sourdoughdidn't work out for me, it died.
I I had a starter that I put inthe fridge because everybody
told me you know, just put yoursourdough in the fridge and
it'll be fine, and you can leaveit in there for months even.
(10:12):
And I left it in there for sixmonths and I was, I Didn't even
want to try to revive it.
I was just like you know, Ithink I'm done with the
sourdough, because again, it'sone of those time-consuming
things that when you're in thetrenches of motherhood you just
don't have the time for.
But anyways, no, there's.
These women are just so, youknow, powerful with you, know
(10:36):
their direction in life, likethey have.
They have found that purposeand that is just so admirable to
me.
And I mean they really are thedefinition and I've talked,
talked about this before butthey really are the definition
of the super mom and I, you know, I've talked about the dangers
of Trying to be a super mom andthat's definitely not what I'm
(10:58):
advocating for here.
Like, don't try to do it all,but what I'm am saying is To
find your purpose in life, findsomething that drives you
Outside of your family.
I mean, our family is ourultimate sacrifice, it is our
ultimate goal to serve them.
But To my mind, in order toserve them correctly, we have to
(11:22):
find something that is personalto us.
That is this that will give usa sense of achievement outside
of.
You know the everyday strugglesof Getting the five-year-old to
eat his food and chasing thetwo-year-old down.
Think that's something that isoutside of that.
And for me, I'm actually takinga couple of business courses
(11:42):
right now and that gives me asense of achievement and purpose
outside of my family and ithelps center me so much.
And I think that is veryimportant.
For for mothers today to do isFind something that that calms
(12:03):
their mind at night, somethingthat Focuses them, something
that gives them a sense ofachievement outside of their
families and, like I find thatwhen I I do that, I I'm calmer,
I feel less overwhelmed.
I have, you know, a better,clear revision of the future.
I can.
I can make plans with an easier, clearer mind.
(12:26):
I Don't snap at my children asmuch because my mind is it's
Difficult to explain, but it'sclearer in a sense, like I can
focus better because I have this, this drive in sense of
achievement going, and maybeit's just, you know, the, the,
(12:47):
what is it called?
Dopamine?
Yeah, the dopamine hit that I'mtalking about here, that I'm
feeling, but when I focus on aproject and I try to find
something outside of the familythat is Mine, essentially it is,
it's very helpful and andcentering me and helping me to
be a better, better mom.
(13:09):
Something else that reallyHelped me a lot was basically
embracing the chaos that is thereality of being a mom, and but
what I mean by that is you meanyou look at all of these tick
tock and Instagram accounts, youknow YouTube channels and stuff
(13:30):
and their houses are perfect,right, everything is white,
everything is beige.
There are no stains.
You know there's.
There's no food in the carpet.
You know the toddler didn'tpeel an orange on the white
couch or whatever they did thatday.
Nobody dropped a strawberry onthe cream beige rug.
So that, in my mind, is notreality.
(13:54):
That is not reality and we needto get rid of that image in our
minds because that is notsomething we should be trying to
achieve, because it's notrealistic.
It's okay if you know yourhouse is not cream and beige and
white, you know, and notperfectly clean.
And the sooner I accepted that,like I, I just accept it that my
(14:21):
house wasn't always going to beclean.
I accepted that there weregonna be toys on my floor, that
I was gonna have to sweep thefloor, you know, a hundred times
a day that I was going to beconstantly doing dishes and
washing bottles.
I was gonna have to vacuum thefloor more often than I did
before I had kids, like therewas no way for me to keep the
house to the same standards ofcare that it was before I had
(14:44):
kids, when it was just me and myhusband, and so the sooner I
accepted that, the sooner I feltlike this sense of peace when
it came to just.
You know the normal everydayupkeep around the house and you
know balancing that with makinglike a daily not even a daily,
(15:06):
more like a weekly schedule ofself-care to do Even something
as simple as taking a weeklybubble bath on the same day, at
the same time, every single week.
It was when I did it.
I haven't done it in a while,but when I did it it was
absolutely amazing because itgave me something to look
(15:29):
forward to.
So like I would look forward tothis bath every single week,
because I would do it the sameday, same time, I used epsom
salts and like a bubble bath andlike I would bring a book in
there and like a glass of wine,and it was like this whole
ritual that I did and it wasabsolutely amazing and I really
(15:49):
should start doing it again.
Now that I'm thinking aboutthis sounds so amazing.
Why did I stop?
But you know balancing, youknow the responsibilities, you
have an off-setting, you knowall of that chaos and the
realities of motherhood with youknow self-care is also huge
(16:09):
when it comes to calmingyourself and finding you.
Know, centering yourself andfinding that sense of purpose in
your life to know that thatwill carry you through these
times when we're, you know, downdeep in the trenches taking
care of the toddlers.
Another thing that was helpfulwas basically saying no, was
just saying no, and learning tosay no to, for one, societal
(16:34):
pressures of you.
Know how your kids shouldbehave, how your kids should
look, how you should look, howyou should behave, what your
family should be like, yourfamily dynamics, what your
marriage should look like, howyou should be raising your kids.
Like everybody has Opinions,everybody has judgments.
Everybody's going to pressureyou to do things the way they
(16:57):
think you should do them and thesooner you Decide not to do
that, the sooner you will startto feel like this sense of peace
, like within your family,because you know those Outside
opinions and judgments arehonestly just noise like we
don't need to listen to that.
We don't need that in our lifeand it's only going to bring us
(17:20):
down and weigh us down and letwe need to trust in ourselves
and in our newfound purpose of,you know, being a great mother
and and being the greatestversion of yourself.
We need to trust in that Tolead our families and not in
outside pressures and opinionsand judgments like this.
(17:42):
It's, honestly, just noise.
Just turn it, turn it off, turnit out.
You don't need to hear thatbecause, like I said, everybody
has has opinions and most of thetime they're wrong because
they're crazy people.
So that helps me a lot.
When I just stopped Caring aboutyou know the, the visions of
(18:07):
perfect motherhood on socialmedia and the opinions of
everyone around me on how Ishould raise my kids, and you
know the rights and wrongs of mymarriage and you know how my
Childhood was acting thisparticular day.
Whatever I Started when Istarted ignoring that, I just
felt I felt so much peacebecause in the end, you don't
(18:30):
have to answer to those peoplefor any mistakes that you made
in parenting.
You have to answer to God andyou have to answer to yourself
and you have to answer to yourchildren.
You're not gonna be answeringto Josh mode on the street who,
you know, thinks you should, youknow, cut out meals for your
kid when he disobeys or whateverCrazy ideas people have these
days sometimes.
So, yeah, just, you don't haveto answer to them, so why do
(18:54):
their opinions matter?
Another thing that Really helpsand it's helped me is I would
call it like a form ofmeditation.
Honestly, it was just.
I honestly would just like sitand reflect and think on my
(19:14):
personal values and like mypriorities in life and I think
about.
You know things that interestedme, and you know different
passions I'd have and differentthings I was.
You know I would be researchingat the time, because Anybody
that knows me knows that I Ijumped from I'm Passion to the
(19:36):
hobby.
It's just, I'm all over theplace.
You know something that'llinterest me, will interest me
for a month, two months, andthen I'll lose interest in it
and Jump out of the next thing,but while I'm interested in that
topic and in that hobby, I'mlike all in, I learned
everything I can about it and Ibasically become a master at it.
It's very weird, but here weare, so like I.
(20:03):
It is interesting, though,because a lot of these things
that I jump into often help mein my role as a mother, like in
time management, and you knowbudgeting and things like that
for a while, and I actually didcarry this one, three of her
while I was interested in likeaccounting and so I took a whole
(20:29):
course on it and like Ifinished the course, got all the
certifications and everything.
So now I'm like fully certifiedto be an accountant, like a
bookkeeper, and that actually Iwas able to like completely redo
our budgets and like our booksand everything and that, so that
like that kind of thingcompletely helped In my role as
a wife and a mother and likehelping my husband with his
(20:52):
businesses and stuff.
So you know, identifying your,your strengths and your passions
is huge and like A journey ofself discovery, I guess he would
say, like learning aboutyourself and learning about your
, your passions and your, yourfocus in life and your purpose,
(21:15):
finding your true purpose, andlike redirecting everything and
channeling it where it should go.
And it also like learning allof these, like exploring my
hobbies and like finding outwhat my passions, my interest in
my, my talents where it alsohelped Like explore
opportunities and findopportunities for like personal
(21:38):
and like future growth.
Like because I did all thesethings and I got good at doing
some things I was able, likeopportunities open for me that I
never would have Even thoughtof doing before.
Like I'm, like the businesscourses I'm taking right now,
I'm going to be able to applyand actually put into a
(21:58):
hopefully, fingers crossed,that's looking like a fairly
viable business.
And so Identifying, you know,your passions and your interest
and finding out what you're goodat, can really help, like
define your purpose and openopportunities for you know,
personal growth within yourfamily.
That can actually, you know,help drive your family to know,
(22:19):
to greater success.
And that's I mean, that's whatbeing a mother is all about is,
you know, driving your familytowards success and towards
Christ.
And so you know, basically,anything you can do to make you
a better version of yourself isgoing to help your family do
(22:40):
that.
And so you know, always, always, always, try to be learning
about yourself, learning aboutyour weaknesses and your
strengths and what makes youbetter at certain jobs.
You know, do you, do you have asense, a good sense, of time
management?
Do you not have a good sense oftime management?
Are you a good organizer?
Can, are you?
(23:01):
You know, good at math and youknow doing books and you know,
just like try to find your, thethings you're good at, your
strengths, and then, whileyou're at it, you know, find out
what your weaknesses are.
You know are.
Are you bad at time management?
Are you, you know, always latefor things?
I know I am.
You know, having three kidsdoes not make for good time
(23:22):
management, you know.
So things like that, like, justfind out what your weaknesses
are and really try to overcomethose so that you can become the
greater version of yourself,which, in turn, is going to, you
know, strengthen your sense ofpurpose to make you a better
mother, and you know, findingthat that creativity as well.
(23:47):
Like, being a mom isn't a onesize fits all kind of thing.
There is no one size fits allplaybook for being a mom.
So one of the best things wecan do is find out the way we
can be a mom, because everybody,like I mentioned earlier,
(24:08):
everybody has an opinion and ajudgment, and one of the
opinions and judgments thatpeople like to have is they have
the perfect recipe for beingthe world's greatest mom, and
that is simply not true.
Like I have mentioned this inearlier podcast episodes, our
job is to become the greatestmother we can for our children,
(24:30):
because our children were givento us for a reason Because we
were going to become the bestmom for them, and so we don't
need to be anybody else'sversion of the best mom.
We just need to be our ownversion of the best mom.
So find out what makes you thebest mom.
Are you creative?
(24:50):
Are you organized?
Are you you know?
Do you lay down the law?
Are you firm?
That kind of thing Like Ireally want to encourage, like
self-expression here when itcomes to how your parents and
how you find your purpose andmotherhood, because that's what
makes us great is beingourselves Right and being
(25:14):
creative when it comes to youknow how we discipline our kids
and you know how we encouragethem.
And another thing that canreally make us great is now, I
might get black for this one,but you don't necessarily have
to stay home to be a great mom.
Sometimes there is a need forus, for women, to work, and I
(25:39):
just want to point out thatthose of us moms who find
ourselves in the position wherewe have to work, or we, even
those of us who find ourselvesin the position of wanting to
work, are still good moms.
Like, coming where I come from,working moms were looked down on
because they weren't fulfillingtheir jobs.
(26:04):
Basically, they weren't doingtheir jobs because they weren't
staying home with their kids,and I find that incredibly
damaging because we don't knowthe circumstances in that family
.
We have no idea what they'regoing through.
It is not our place to judge.
You know what that mom is doingand I myself have worked and
(26:24):
like knowing the struggles Iknow now that a working mom has
to go through, knowing what Iknow.
Now, like I am ashamed to saythat, you know, I used to have
those opinions about workingmoms.
I used to think that theyweren't doing their jobs because
they were going off to work andtheir kids were suffering
because they had to be washed bya babysitter or they had to go
to the public schools orwhatever.
(26:45):
Whatever the things I said, I'mashamed to say that I said
those things because going towork and leaving my son at home
was one of the hardest things Ihad to do, every single day.
I hated it, I hated leaving andI was always so excited to come
home, and so it's definitelynot something that we should
(27:05):
pass judgment on.
Let's just say I wouldn't saysomething to be considered
because, obviously, like, theultimate goal of a mother is to
stay home with her children andraise them and be with them, and
I mean that's kind of thedefining role of being a mom.
But for those of us that don'thave that option, there's
nothing wrong with that andthat's the road we have been set
(27:28):
on in life.
And because we've been set onthat road, it would be our
responsibility and our job towalk that road the best way we
can, to the best of our ability.
So I would really just, yeah, Iwould just say, just don't pass
judgment on working moms,because it's not an easy road
and those of us moms who walkthat gracefully are so
(27:52):
impressive to me because, again,I know the struggle.
So kudos to you guys, butanyways, yeah, so you know, and
another thing I wanted to pointout so, like things that are
difficult and I mentioned thisas a struggle of mine, you know
is when it comes to balancing,you know, motherhood and like
(28:12):
personal goals, so like timemanagement and and like setting
realistic expectations formyself and things like that.
I, I, I really struggled withtime management.
I really really do.
And so it's difficult for me tobalance motherhood and personal
goals I have for myself,because in my life, you know,
(28:36):
motherhood takes first priority.
Obviously I mean my kids, mykids need me and so, and if I'm
not there to provide for them,to help them, they suffer for it
because you know they'rethey're tiny little children,
they're helpful little children,so they, they need me.
So, obviously, like, motherhoodtakes first priority in my life
and oftentimes that means thatpersonal goals I've set myself
(29:00):
they take the back burner and Isometimes don't get to them for,
you know, weeks on end I justit's just not something I focus
on because, again, the kids needme.
So one thing that I've reallystruggled with is, you know one,
setting, you know, boundariesfor myself and you know learning
(29:22):
, time management and settingrealistic expectations for
myself.
And especially with the lastone, setting realistic
expectations, like I really comedown hard on myself because you
know I'll set, I'll set a goalof you know wanting to work on a
project for, you know, two tofour hours this day, and then
(29:42):
you know, comes down to the endof the day and I haven't worked
even five minutes on that goal,and like I really come down hard
on myself because you know Ididn't fulfill my goal for the
day I'm basically I'm like I'mfeeling I'm behind, I'm failing
at my job, I'm feeling at myproject and that is such an
unrealistic expectation to setfor myself because I'm
(30:05):
forgetting that my first goal isto be the best mom I can.
And so you know if, if mypersonal goals have to take a
backseat to that temporarily,that's fine.
I just need to learn bettertime management strategies so
that that doesn't always happen,because, again, you have to
(30:27):
have that sense of purposeoutside of you know, that sense
of achievement and that sense ofpurpose outside of being a mom,
so that you can be, you know, acalm, centered, stable mother.
So learning time management andsetting realistic expectations
really go, really go hand inhand, because when you're a mom
(30:48):
and you have, you know, personalgoals outside of being a mom,
like you have to have both.
You have to have timemanagement, you have to have,
you need to know time managementand you need to have realistic
expectations, because yourpersonal goals may or may not
happen that day.
You may have to put them in theback burner for the next day,
(31:09):
and that's totally okay, and thenext day you can try to figure
out how to manage your timebetter or work things around a
little bit more so that you canget in some time for yourself.
And you know, sometimes thatmeans telling your partner when
he comes home that hey, you knowwhat I am clocking out as a
parent for the day.
I need to go work on some stuffor I need to take an hour break
(31:31):
, and you know I do thatsometimes.
You know my husband will comehome, I will hand in the baby.
Oh, you know, there's pumpedmilk in the fridge.
And one thing I have found thatis incredibly calming is
actually grab my Bible and I gofind like a park or somewhere
that's like quiet and I just sitin my car and I read the Bible
(31:55):
for like an hour and itcompletely empties my mind and
it's the most amazing thing.
I did it last week.
I was having a really hard day,so I went to the grocery store,
did my grocery shopping, I wentand picked up some Panda
Express, that really junkieChinese food that I would never
recommend anybody eat.
(32:16):
But I went and got some junkfood and then I sat in a parking
lot with my Bible and I justate junk food and read the Bible
and it was the best hour of mylife.
I'm not even joking, you guys.
It was so calming, sorefreshing and so nice and I
honestly can't wait to do itagain.
I would highly recommendanybody sit in an empty parking
(32:36):
lot with a Bible.
It is so good.
But, yes, take the time you know.
Set realistic expectations foryourself.
Don't go overboard.
Don't expect too much ofyourself.
Don't come down hard onyourself.
Learn better time managementwhen you don't, you know, meet
those you know realisticexpectations.
Be like okay, what can I do thenext day to meet those
(32:59):
realistic expectations?
What can I do to find mypurpose?
You know, a little bit betterthe next day.
And if it's still not working,you may need to take a step back
, take a break, go, find anempty parking lot with your
Bible, empty your mind, justcalm down and then come back and
revisit the next day Like we'renot going to achieve anything.
(33:19):
We're not going to find ourpurpose in life if we're always
in fight or flight, if we'realways in crisis mode.
So we need to just calm downand really work on on centering
ourselves and finding thatpurpose in our lives.
Otherwise again, we're going tobe pouring from an empty cup
(33:40):
and our kids are not going toget the best version of
ourselves.
Thank you very much, you guys,for listening to this episode of
All Our Little Messes.
Something I wanted to run byyou guys is I've been thinking
about hosting a Q&A with all ourlisteners to submit questions
(34:03):
and bring up, you know, maybemaybe submit ideas for future
podcast episodes.
If there's something you guyswant to like, hear me talk about
.
So yeah, and also I thoughtabout bringing on a couple of,
you know, fellow mothers tobring on to the kind of like a
(34:26):
panel discussion, to to a Q&Awith.
But yeah, I wanted to run thatby you guys and see what you
would think about me doingsomething like that.
I was thinking probably YouTubeor something like that.
So shoot me an email or amessage on Facebook or on
Instagram if you think this is agood idea or if you have any
(34:47):
questions about that kind ofpanel discussion.
But otherwise, thank you guysvery much for listening in this
week and I will see you nextThursday.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Thank you for tuning in to this episode of All Our
Little Messes.
Please let us know how much youenjoyed it below and add any
questions you have about thisepisode.
Also, don't forget to follow uson Patreon for amazing
exclusive perks, including earlyaccess to podcast episodes and
bonus episodes every month.
(35:23):
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Thank you for listening andwe'll see you next week.
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