7 How fear of releasing the little ego spoils happiness

Underneath our ordinary, neurotic, unconscious wrong thinking lies a difficult conflict embedded in all of humanity: We have a deeply ingrained longing to be happy and, at the same time, we fear happiness. And this fear is directly related to our fear of letting go. By the same token, our longing to be happy must also be a longing to be released from the clutches of our little ego. The two are linked. Let’s now dive into a deeper level of this topic so we can come to a new understanding.

Everything exists in both a right understanding and in distortion. Letting go of the outer ego is no exception. It’s possible then to let go in an unbalanced, distorted manner, which is unhealthy. Now first, what are we talking about when we say “let go of the ego?” These are the faculties we have direct access to: our volitional thinking and our will that we have the power to direct.

Here’s a simple example of the difference between direct will and indirect will on the level of the physical body. With our direct will, we can decide to move our hand, directing how it will move and what we’re going to pick up with it. But for our heartbeat or circulation, we have no direct control. We can however regulate our heartbeat and circulation by controlling the movement of our body.

Our will also works the same way on the mental and emotional levels. We do have the ability to change unpleasant feelings, but it’s futile to try to do this directly or quickly. What’s more, when we direct our will in the wrong way, we can throw our psyche into a state of disarray.

When we overexert our will, then, by trying to exert it in areas it can’t directly control, we waste energy and debilitate ourselves. It’s the equivalent of throwing all our might into changing our heartrate using our sheer outer will. If this works at all, it only worsens our condition. In truth, we have lots of way to improve our circulation, but forcing—by using our outer will—isn’t one of them.

We human beings do this a lot: We use the wrong approach. We force our will where it doesn’t belong and then neglect using it where it could be doing a lot of good in our personal development. When we don’t use enough will in the right way, our ego becomes weak. When we use too much, our ego becomes so exhausted it will try to escape from itself. Letting go like this, though—from weak motives instead of from a place of inner strength—is an escape that can become quite dangerous to the self.

Listen and learn more.

Read: How Fear of Releasing the Little Ego Spoils Happiness