From Page to Nightmare: Dissecting 'Crescendo'| BLK Girl Reads Book Club Podcast Ep. 5

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jann (00:01):
A man haunted by a family curse is taken beyond the limits
of his sanity to a realm wherehe has no control over his
actions or his fear.
James Adams, lived a normal lifein a New York suburb before the
demons dwelling within him,awoke from their slumber to
reveal unspeakable horror, andprophesize his future.
His destiny.

(00:22):
Crescendo is a novel about fateand the length we will travel to
avoid the inevitable said intranquil Rockland County, New
York.
This tale is suspense in horrorwill take its reader on an
emotional rollercoaster ofanger, anxiety, compassion, and
fear.
All right, welcome back to BookClub guys.

(00:43):
So we're reviewing Crescendo.
Welcome home.
Death Awaits.

Joi (00:52):
Hi everybody.
I'm Joy.
That's Jan, and let's get itgoing.
So, what did you think?
What's your rating for thisbook?

Jann (01:08):
I will say this, um, I was a little worried'cause I felt
like I was always middle of theroad with a lot of my ratings
and this is a very clear onestar for me.

Joi (01:18):
No, it is it because it's a horror book.

Jann (01:22):
No, that's not it.
It's not actually.
So it's a one star for me andwe'll get into like why it's a
one star for me for sure.
But, um, what's your rating?
How'd you like it?

Joi (01:34):
Ah.
I gave it a four.
I gave it a four.
I enjoyed it.
I was interested.
The only reason why it wasn't afive is'cause it seemed like a
little, like I was a littleconfused.
It got a little convoluted withthe time jumps and the people
jumps and I had to like make

Jann (01:54):
now.

Joi (01:55):
Oh, oh, okay.
Okay.
Okay.
But go ahead, do your little, doyour thing and then do your
spoiler so I can go ahead andget into it.

Jann (02:02):
I like this.
I feel like this is the firstone where we're like very far
apart, as far as liked it or didnot like it because I did not
like it.
But, um, I feel like you, okay,nevermind.
I didn't like give that you, sothe difference I feel like is
that you just said like, theonly reason is not a five star
and has some reasons.

(02:22):
There's no world in which Iwould rate this a five star.
So there's already a cleardifference.
Um, but before we jump into alot of the discussion guys, as
normal, we gave our ratings.
We're going to be, doingspoilers from here on out,
starting with Joy, doing arecap.
So if you do not want to hearit, log off, read the book, and

(02:44):
then log back on.
I think it's very clear for myrating that I feel like it's not
worth it.
So

Joi (02:51):
Hey.

Jann (02:51):
that said, spoiler alert.
All right, joy, go ahead andgive a recap.

Joi (02:57):
All right, so we have James.
Um, he is dealing withnightmares, night terrors
actually.
And, he's dreaming about Susan,his best friend's wife dying in
a car accident where the car wason fire and he couldn't do
anything to help her peoplepulled him back.

(03:17):
Um, what's weird about thedreams is that every time he
dreams this, it's like a weird,like, Like face to the person,
um, to Susan specifically, andit wears him out.
He wakes up and throughout thebook, he's just getting more and
more like into, how do I saythis?

(03:40):
Like, he gets, he loses mind alittle bit more, throughout the
book, so it's like getting worseand worse.
throughout the book, you realizethat he had an affair with his
best friend's wife and he thinkshe's gonna find peace in telling
his best friend, basically, thatafter she died, you know, that
he had an affair with her andthe best friend's pissed off.

(04:05):
So, um, the best friend Pete,he's trying to find a way to get
him like, out of his life prettymuch.
And I think he's waiting for himto either kill himself'cause he
sees how bad he's gettingthroughout the book or if he was
gonna kill him.
I don't know.
But he thinks that because,James is gonna be out of the
picture soon.
He'll take the position of.

(04:28):
Being with James' wife, what washer name?
Andrea.

Jann (04:33):
Yeah.

Joi (04:34):
yeah.
And, um, James dies

Jann (04:45):
All right.
I mean, just skip over the wholebook to the end.
He dies.

Joi (04:50):
I'm so bad with recaps, but like, yeah, like that's like,
it's, it goes, it's hard tofollow if you don't read it.
it's even hard to follow alittle bit when you are reading
it, which is why I gave it afour.
Like, it was so interesting, butit was hard for me to follow,
especially with the audio booktoo.

Jann (05:07):
I would say this, I think you'll get better at the recaps,
but I also feel like it'sinteresting to hear your recaps
because, um, We're going throughthese books like pretty quickly,
and I feel like you've only donetwo so far, but I always catch
something, your recap, where I'mlike, that's not how I
understood this.
And for this part, I don't thinkhe realized that he was having

(05:28):
an affair.
Like he knew the full time thathe was having an affair.
Uh, I feel like it was revealedto us, but like we realized
that.
Okay, gotcha.
I was like,

Joi (05:39):
How would you not

Jann (05:39):
like going and saying like, oh, I can't believe I did
this.
Like, no, he went in like fullyeyes open into doing that shady
shit.
Um,

Joi (05:48):
Yeah.

Jann (05:49):
so there's that.
Um, now, yeah, that's exactlyall I was gonna get into.
That's normally our firstquestion, and I'm just gonna go
ahead and say that there were nolikable characters.
There were no likablecharacters.
Like if I had to pick afavorite, it would be Andrea,
but it's like literally bydefault there

Joi (06:07):
That's the

Jann (06:07):
was nothing about her personality that I actually
like.
Related to or liked.
It's just she was the leastdetestable.

Joi (06:15):
I mean, she didn't do anything wrong, I don't think.
I think she was just a wife notknowing what to do while her
husband like spun out of controlwhile also trying to keep to
yourself that like, yeah, I knowthat he cheated on me, but he's
also like going insane, so I'mnot even gonna bring it up and
I'm pregnant.
Like at that point, like Iunderstood because I'm just
like, that is a shit position tobe in.

(06:37):
You know what I mean?
But she's still trying to bethere for him.
She's pregnant, he's a cheater,and he's going crazy.
Like, what do you do

Jann (06:45):
put her through a lot, but I feel like I still didn't get a
lot of her like character.
There wasn't anything there forme to like, I felt bad

Joi (06:53):
there at all.
Yeah.

Jann (06:56):
but it wasn't like, oh yeah, this character is likable
because of this.
She was just in a shishsituation,

Joi (07:03):
Like, to be fair, like I didn't even like put her on the
map.
I was so confused with thenames.
There was so many people goingback and forth and the das name
was James too, and they calledhim Jimmy and you know, so it's
lots of stuff going on.
So she didn't really blip myradar to like closer to the end,
but

Jann (07:17):
your favorite character then?
Is it Andrea as well?

Joi (07:20):
yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's Andrea.
So it's just, it's just one ofthose things where I'm just
like, it sucks what she wentthrough.
And it sucks that she wasn'treally like much of a character
in the book, but once I realizedwhat was happening and I knew
what she, like, I figured outwhat she was going through.
I was by her side the whole timeand I felt bad that she was

(07:40):
still falling for anotherasshole guy, which was Pete.
You know, like they never saidthat she was like, you know,
giving back the same affectionor attention that he was trying
to give to her.
'cause she's going through thistoo with her husband.
But I feel like Pete ismanipulative enough and she's
just very much like, meh.
Or like traumatized by this,that she would just go with

(08:00):
them, you know?

Jann (08:01):
was pretty much surrounded by creeps.
Yeah.

Joi (08:04):
Nah, everyone is like,

Jann (08:05):
said I felt bad for her situation, but she didn't have
enough of a character for me toactually say like, yeah, I like
this about her.

Joi (08:12):
Yeah.

Jann (08:12):
So,

Joi (08:14):
You can even say the, um, the Aunt James's aunt that was
killed was a pretty goodcharacter, but she was barely
there too, so it was hard tosay.

Jann (08:24):
yeah.

Joi (08:24):
Yeah.

Jann (08:25):
Well, who was your least favorite character?

Joi (08:29):
Honestly, I was going to say James, but I think Pete is
my least favorite.
Just because, like, I understandthat you're pissed off that your
best friend had an affair withyour dead wife, but you killed
your wife, so, and then you'relike so horrible that you're
like, Instead of just beinglike, okay, fine, you know, I've

(08:52):
already killed my wife, or atleast I got revenge on somebody.
But you're also there to try toget back at James, who's you
also see is losing his mind.
His wife is suffering, butyou're not even like, I feel so
bad for his wife.
I wanna be there for her.
He is like, no, I'm going to be,take your position as this kid's
dad.
That baby's gonna call me daddy.
Like it's never for Andrea orthe baby's sake is for his own

(09:15):
selfish reasons that he wants totake up that role in their lives
and he's just awful.

Jann (09:21):
It's so hard for me.
Like I get what you're saying,and I feel like Pete was my
least favorite character.
It was just playing devil'sadvocate.
At least Pete knew that he was aslime ball, you know, like, I
feel like with James, he wasjust so self-centered and like
completely un unaware of himselfand like his, like even when he
said, oh, I have, I think Ican't live with the guilt

(09:43):
anymore.
I have to tell Pete, that was soselfish to tell him, first of
all, and even if you're liketrying to save your sanity, he
didn't even give him time tosay, okay, like, I, I slept with
your wife.
We had an affair.
I'm so sorry.
Like, what can I do to make itbetter?
He immediately started rantingabout how hard it is on him and
how these dreams are affectinghim.
Like to the point that Pete hadto, to punch him in the face

(10:04):
while he was still talking abouthimself.
And then when he started comingback around, like Pete's
thinking, oh, I'm gonna liketrigger him.
He's gonna feel so bad.
James was so freaking selfabsorbed that he didn't even
consider.
Oh, he might tell Andrea, like,it never even crossed his mind.
He is like, oh, Pete's around.

Joi (10:22):
Mm-hmm.

Jann (10:23):
Like, so annoying.
Oh, so

Joi (10:26):
I, I completely understand that, but I can't, like I said,
James is right there.
He's like number two of thepeople.
I, I hate the, the most in thisbook.
But, uh, it's just like the factthat Pete was, was murdering
people, but he was in his rightstate of mind.
James was murdering people.

(10:47):
Person, but he was losing hismind.
Like he wasn't all there.
So I feel like the worstperson's, the person who's
completely there, who's allthere, who knows what's going
on, who sees what's going on,just like I don't give a shit.
Like I'm still like, I want my

Jann (11:01):
the thing too, like James murdered someone who had nothing
to do with him.
Pete murdered people who fuckedhim over.
So

Joi (11:10):
That's true.

Jann (11:10):
it's not like he was murdering any, any innocent
people.
And I'm not saying it was right.
I feel like he was so insecure,first of all, like, and I feel
like you never, like the friend,you don't want around is that
person.
Like there was a whole passageof him talking about, like, when
James told him about finding hisdad and he kept trying to like

(11:31):
egg him on and telling him more.
I'm like, first of all, that'screepy.
Which is the vibe for this wholebook, by the way.
It's creepy.
Um, uh, but he was like, yeah, Imeant it at the time that I
would never tell anybody and Iwouldn't use it against him, but
now I'm gonna use it againsthim.
Like, you never want that friendaround who's like collecting
dirt on you for when they wannaturn on you.

(11:52):
That's always awful.
Um,

Joi (11:55):
sure.

Jann (11:56):
which, okay, so this is a weird segue, but I, I just
wanted to throw this out heretoo, since it's a horror book.
Um, if you.
If you don't know already.
I don't like horror.
Like I'm kind of a scaredy catt.
I won't watch any scary movies.
Like, and it's different withthe like, well, not any scary
movies.
Like I'll watch like Halloweenand like thrillers and slasher

(12:17):
films.
I'll watch those.
But anything with demons,possessions, ghosts, I'm not for
it.
Um, but I did not get scary fromthis book.
I got creepy.
I got perverted, like on a scaryscale of one to five.
It's also a one.

Joi (12:35):
I got the chills, like I got like goosebumps when I was
reading.
I was like, Ooh, spooky.
Like, not necessarily like, ah,scary.

Jann (12:45):
yeah, the only time I got that vibe is when, um, he was
looking at himself in the mirrorand he was trapped in the
mirror.
I got that vibe then.
But even then, I felt like,Every time the, every time I got
to a part where I'm like, oh,this is kind of creepy.
They dragged it on for so longthat I was like, I'm no longer

(13:05):
interested.
I get it.
He's trapped.
He's in the mirror.
I get it.
Like, let's move on.

Joi (13:10):
I got the uncanny, I got the unsettling kind of vibes
from it.
Like, not necessarily like, youknow, like it is spooky.
And I did think it dragged on alittle bit with the scarier
scenes, especially when he wastrapped in the mirror.
Um, but.

(13:31):
Yeah.
I mean, I liked it for what itwas.
It was just wasn't like what Iexpected, per se.

Jann (13:38):
I will say one thing I do like is that it did give the
feel of like slowly falling intoinsanity.
Like you kind of felt like Ikind of felt like I was losing
my mind reading it.
It could be because I didn'tlike it that much, but like, if
that was intentional, good jobon the writer because it, it did

(14:01):
give that feel.

Joi (14:02):
That's another thing that I didn't like about Pete.
Pete knew that he was losing hismind, and then he was like, by
the way, they're looking intoSusan's death again.
So I don't know.

Jann (14:12):
say it as if it was like his whole.
Agenda was to get him to killhimself.
Like he knew that he had ahistory of it in his family.
He was like monitoring him incollege.
he noticed when he was down andlike losing time, even in
college, he was like, it wasstarting all the way back then.
All I have to do is give him apush.

(14:33):
Like was his intent.
It wasn't like, oh, I'm justgonna push him.
And then, oh, I don't know whathappened when he killed himself.
Like he knew exactly what he wasdoing

Joi (14:42):
And I'm saying he was the worst.

Jann (14:43):
it with his chest.

Joi (14:44):
He was the worst.
That's why, literally the worst.
And that's before he wascheating with his wife.

Jann (14:52):
I'm not, I'm gonna, yeah.
Okay.

Joi (14:57):
Like lemme just note that for later, just in case.

Jann (15:00):
Like I say, you never want that friend around.
That's like collecting dirt onyou for sure.

Joi (15:05):
I mean, I'm not saying that James was a good guy, like I'm
glad he died at the end, but Ifeel like Pete should have got
something too.
Yeah, he, like

Jann (15:14):
I felt,

Joi (15:15):
innocent person for just checking in on somebody with
your arguing on the street.
Like

Jann (15:21):
but I wouldn't necessarily blame him for that.
Like, um, like you said, it wasinsanity.
Um, so I don't know.
I, I, I guess I wouldn't, that'sthe whole thing too, like do you
feel like it was actually asupernatural thing going on, or
do you feel like it was justinsanity?
I.

Joi (15:39):
I feel like the insanity ran in his family and the
insanity made him see thesethings.
I feel like it was just like itis.
It was kinda like a metaphor,like the insanity was like the
family curse.
Like this is gonna happen to youand it's gonna happen to your
unborn daughter because it's agenetic thing that we lose our
minds, to the point where wejust kill ourselves'cause

(16:01):
overwhelming.
So I think that's what it mostlywas.

Jann (16:06):
I agree.
It was probably like a metaphorbecause when I was reading the
book, I'm like, oh, like he'sfull on talking to these spirits
and he's like seeing whathappened in the past.
So it has to be real.
Um, but then, I mean, that's notnecessarily saying that all of
these things actually happened.
It could have just been all ofhis mind and all the insanity.

(16:27):
So.

Joi (16:27):
Like some of the things he knew, but then obviously some of
the things he experienced andthen other things he kind
could've learned.
Like when Pete and Susan goesthrough all the documents and
see what he was looking at, hecould've easily stumbled upon
more letters or diaries orwhatever of the rest of his
family or his aunt.
And that's how he knew thehistory and everything that
happened before.
And who's to say that he didn'tgo to a therapist before and go

(16:49):
like, Hey, this is what happenedto your father.
You know, this is like, youknow, it's a generational thing.

Jann (16:54):
could have been piecing it together.
Yeah.

Joi (16:56):
yeah, and just the way that he was losing his mind,'cause he
was, is probably just how he sawthese visions is just like, To
not let say, not humanize him,but to put a physical, like face
to the insanity.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Personify it.
So yeah, that's what I thought.

(17:16):
Anyway.
Just like it's not necessarilyall these ghosts and everything
that he's seeing, it is just theinsanity taking over and that's
what his mind is creating.
Even if, like, when you arelosing your mind, it makes, it
tries to make sense of what'sgoing on.
So that's, that's the way that Isaw it.
Yeah.

Jann (17:36):
Yeah, mental illness was a huge theme in this book, for
sure.
Um, and I thought it wasinteresting at the end, I don't
remember if it was the epilogueor just the author's notes, um,
but they were, they were prettymuch saying, um,

Joi (17:51):
Hi.

Jann (17:54):
you wanted to make his debut.
Uh, but they were pretty muchsaying like, what do you know
about your family history?
Like, how do you know that someof this doesn't run in your
family?
And that's like being haunted initself, just living with that
like fear that it could happento you at any time.

Joi (18:09):
Well that's the thing too.
Like I don't understand, like Iknow that Susan, no, Andrea
tried to get him some help, butsomeone had to write off like,
you know, he had to agree'causehe is an adult, you know, to get
help.
but I feel like at a certainpoint when certain things have
gone too far, you can signsomeone up.

(18:29):
Like, hey, involuntary, like,put'em in there for seven, two
hours.
it's going insane.
I'm afraid for my safety at thispoint, you know?
Like, I don't, I'm not sure whatyou can do, but I'm sure there's
something you can do, you know?

Jann (18:43):
agree with that, but at the same time, when is that
point?
They made a point to say that ithappened so suddenly, it started
off with nightmares, which youdon't commit someone for, and
then randomly he started seeingstuff.
If you think about when heactually pushed her, that was
the first time he saw stuff whenhe was awake.
You know, it was actually ahallucination rather than a bad

(19:04):
nightmare.
She invited Pete over to talk tohim about or just to make him
feel better, you know, I knowyou're going through this, just
so you know you have a supportsystem.
And then the very next time sheinvited Pete over, she was like,
okay, this has turned intohallucinations, help me convince
him to get help.
And he didn't show up ithappened very suddenly.

Joi (19:25):
I feel like too, think the point of doing it, I think my
point of doing it is when youjust like, Hey, I'm pregnant,
Pete, can you come help me?
Tell him, because I don't knowhow he'll react because he is
losing his mind.
I feel like that's the point,you know, if you can't even tell
your husband that you'repregnant, I, I think that it
could be because of thissituation specifically.
I

Jann (19:45):
don't get someone committed for that.
If you try to get someonecommitted for that, they
wouldn't listen.
They'd say you, he has to signoff.

Joi (19:51):
no, I'm saying like I feel No, if you go to them and go
like, listen, like he's havingthese night terrors, it's all
happening so quickly.
He's having night terrors, he'sseeing things, he's erratic,
he's not coming home.
I don't know where he is.
He's showing up at weird timesof the day and night and it's
unsafe and it's unhealthy and Ifeel like he needs help, you

(20:12):
know?
And even then I feel likesomeone would be like, okay,
well at the very least you takeyour stuff and leave for at
least a day or two and see whathappens.
See if he calms down, goessomewhere safe where he doesn't
know maybe, not just stay in thehouse with him just in case he
does something crazy.
'cause didn't he choke her outat one point or something like
that?
Like he almost killed her at onepoint.

(20:33):
Who he.

Jann (20:34):
was imagining it.
He, when the night that sheinvited Pete over, he was like,
I don't know what I'm gonna doif I go in, so I'm gonna leave.
The most that had happened toher at that point is when he
pushed her.
He was freaked out and then shealso admitted at the end that
she kind of saw something, andthat might also be like a
metaphor, like she saw that hewasn't himself, but she said at

(20:56):
the end like, I saw someone inthere with him.
So yeah,

Joi (21:01):
That's right.

Jann (21:02):
you get someone committed for that, right.
Like that.

Joi (21:06):
Yes.
That he saw that.
Yeah.

Jann (21:08):
Mm-hmm.

Joi (21:09):
That was scary too.
Like, oh my God, you just killedyour wife.
And he was like, just sitting onthe lawn, you know?
And even when she was likelooking at him, just like
staring, it's freezing outthere, I'm gonna bring him a
jacket.
And then she stopped in herlike, like something was telling
her just to leave him like thereby himself.

Jann (21:25):
No, that was, that was a different time

Joi (21:28):
This happened twice.

Jann (21:30):
that he was imagining killing her.
Uh, it don't.
He wasn't imagining killing herwhen he was just sitting outside
the house.
That's when he came back fromthe place the first time and he
just noticed he was staring atthe house like, oh, what am I
doing here?
and that's the same night, likethat day she was like, okay,
this is weird.
Let me call Pete and we canconvince him to sign off on this
and get help.

(21:51):
And that's the night he camehome and was sitting in his car
and imagine killing her and waslike, I don't know what I'm
gonna do.
And then he left to where hisgrandmother died.

Joi (22:00):
Which is crazy'cause Where do they live in Connecticut?
Is it Silver Spring?
Maryland is far like, you know,I went to school in Woodbridge,
Virginia, Woodbridge to SilverSpring, Maryland is a hot
minute, like it is a nice drive.
So I think, no, I think theywere in New York somewhere, so

(22:21):
they had to be driving back andforth at least four hours every
single time they went there,which is nuts.

Jann (22:29):
It is nuts especially considering like the first time
he was driving there he likejust came to and was driving
already crazy enough, but he waslike, okay, I'm gonna turn
around and then he was justthere.
Imagine driving somewhere thatlong and like you only came to
once, you don't even know whereyou are

Joi (22:47):
Right?
And it's traffic like, do yousee traffic?

Jann (22:50):
know how you got back.

Joi (22:52):
Yeah.
It's crazy.
Dangerous.
Ooh boy.

Jann (22:58):
Yeah.
you did remind me when we weretalking about the papers and
shuffling, that part was alsoscary to me and we kept talking
about the picture gettingcloser.
Um, that that

Joi (23:06):
Oh, that was creepy when

Jann (23:09):
And then when he was like, he was just standing there and
he was like, oh, it was nothingafter all.
And then she talked to him.
I was like, burn it.
burn it.

Joi (23:20):
That was so creepy, and it's like, oh, no, no, no.
You saw me.
I'm moving.

Jann (23:24):
Yeah.
I'm here.
It's me.

Joi (23:29):
No.
Yeah, that was super creepy.
I never like, um, movies that dothat with the pictures.
Something about pictures andstaring at them just like I, it
creeped me out with mirrorsbecause ever since I've watched,
um, I can't remember the name ofthe movie, but maybe, you know,
it's a, maybe you don't knowbecause it's a horror movie and

(23:51):
basically the reflections of

Jann (23:53):
The others?

Joi (23:54):
People, that's what it was.
The

Jann (23:56):
I don't know.
The others was definitely ascary movie for me.
But go ahead.
I'm sorry.

Joi (24:00):
it was just basically, the mirrors, like whenever you see
yourself reflected in it, it waslike, I don't know if it was
like a demon or a ghost orsomething, but it

Jann (24:08):
Peele movie, is it us or them or whatever?

Joi (24:12):
It's an older movie, like I saw it when we were like young,
like 12, and it was just like atone point the reflection made
the person drink bleach and theydied.
'cause they did it in thereflection.
It was just, it was one of thosethings that's just nuts and
mirrors creeped me out.
Photos kind of creeped me out.
So

Jann (24:29):
I just have a over hyper imagination, like you said that,
and I was like, oh, so I'mcovering up my mirrors.
Like, I can't, like even thethought of something scary, I'm
like, even if it's this scary, Ican make it into this in my
head.
You know this.
So,

Joi (24:47):
long enough.
Yeah, especially when people saylike mirrors or portals too, so
don't stare at it too long ordon't have it across your bed or
something.
I'm a total believer of that,so,

Jann (24:58):
I mean, sure, absolutely.
Like why risk it?
But I feel like the picture initself is like just so creepy
because I have pictureseverywhere.
Like if they decide to gang upon me, I'm done for, and I think
that's the key right there withlike supernatural stuff is like,
they very rarely have a, this ishow you defeat this thing and I
need to know how to win at theend of the day, like I have a

(25:18):
chance with a lot of slasherfilms and thrillers, um, I can
fight, can't fight somethingthat's not there.

Joi (25:24):
That.
Okay.
It's funny that you say thatbecause that's how I got into
monster stuff and thrillers andmysteries and ghosts.
Kinda like, okay, worst casescenario, I have to go against a
werewolf.
How do I defeat it?
And that's how I got into allthis scary stuff.

Jann (25:40):
So then you watch a bunch of stuff that you can't defeat.

Joi (25:44):
You, you can defeat most things if you mostly, if you're
melanated and you got some of'em, some

Jann (25:51):
you can avoid most things, but I already know to avoid most
things.
I don't need to scare myself todo that.

Joi (25:58):
That's the thing, avoidance is key and it's mostly like
these are life lessons.
Young black girl, don't playwith Ouija boys, you know, don't
go with their shop and get somerandom old ass doll.
Like avoidance is key

Jann (26:15):
why wouldn't you?
Like you already know to avoidthat stuff though.
Why do you need to watch movieafter movie to know it?

Joi (26:22):
just in case.
You never know.
Just like you, I have the, um, Idon't know if you can see it, I
can't see it, um, behind on mypacking boxes, but I have the
American Association somethingmedical book.
I'm like, I told, Earl, I said,I need this just in case the
world collapses.
At least we know how to healourselves in case someone gets

(26:44):
sick or, you know, anythinghappens with like stitches or it
is like a

Jann (26:49):
a lot of those kind of books too,

Joi (26:51):
yeah.

Jann (26:51):
plants that Heal and How to survive, like while foraging
and like a lot of survival listbooks.
Okay.
Yeah, me

Joi (26:59):
yeah.
But this was just like a purelike medical book, you know,
just in case.
And now I think about it.
If the world could collapsed,why wouldn't I just go to like
a.
Book Ilion or Barnes and Nobleand just like loot the books I
need like, like, Hey Jan, youbroke your arm.
Let's go.

(27:20):
I'm gonna go get a book fromthe, obviously Abandoned Barnes
and Noble to see how to make asplint.

Jann (27:26):
I feel like a lot of, like, the reason why we're safe
in society today is because wehave so much infrastructure that
keeps us safe.
Traveling from books to Noble orlike any kind of bookstore for
me, 10 minutes in a car if wedon't have gas and things, I'm
not driving to get a book.

Joi (27:44):
It's

Jann (27:44):
I mean, I probably will, but, you know, uh, resources are
finite at that point andtraveling in itself is dangerous
'cause you never know what orwho you're gonna run into.
There's no loss that keep yousafe.
Uh, so yeah, it's a risk goingout to get a book after the
apocalypse.
So yeah, that would be thereason.

Joi (28:01):
It'd be a whole episode of Walking Dead who never did a
supply run.
That was an episode.

Jann (28:07):
That was a whole story arc.

Joi (28:10):
Right.

Jann (28:11):
season they're gone.

Joi (28:14):
And you're sitting here with a broken arm, like, I hope
she comes back I don't know.

Jann (28:18):
My broken arm can lead to her broken neck.
You never know.

Joi (28:22):
Whoa.
Off topic.
Back to the book.

Jann (28:27):
Okay, so here's a question that I have since we're talking
about this.
This book was written by a blackwoman.
I do not feel like thecharacters were black.

Joi (28:40):
Okay.

Jann (28:40):
Like I'm very curious to like see your opinion on that.
Like I don't think this is abook about black people.

Joi (28:46):
Okay.
I had to.
Remember we talked about thatTikTok when the girl was like,
oh, she had long blonde hair.
Oh, she had a sewing girl.
She was looking good.
I got a lot of that.
I checked to make sure I waslistening to the right book,
like three different times onour list.
I was like, this is the rightauthor, right?
Like, I'm sure yeah, this is theright author.

(29:10):
So then, um, I tried to likelisten out for like little
tidbits here and there, and theonly thing that stood out to me
was when James noted that anAndrea had like, olive skin or
something, like she didsomething with her olive skin.

Jann (29:24):
That's what I was gonna say.
The wives at most were blackbecause they talked about
Andrea's, olive skin, and theyalso, Pete mentioned that, this
is the only indicator that Ihad.
Pete mentioned that when Susandied, the only thing that he
kept,'cause you know, he got ridof all the knick knickknacks,
was her silk pillowcase.
And I was like, oh, so she'sblack.

(29:45):
Got it.

Joi (29:46):
Yeah,

Jann (29:47):
And I mean, that's, that's a reach in itself, but that's,
that's the only indicator that Igot.

Joi (29:53):
Yeah.
I mean like, and when it comesto James, like the name kind of,
and his dad being called Jimmyand his, his name also being
James and people wanted to callhim Jimmy.
I feel like a lot of like blackpeople aren't named like James
and their nickname is Jimmy.
I mean, just personalexperience, you know, and same
thing

Jann (30:11):
was just,

Joi (30:12):
just like,

Jann (30:13):
yeah, same.
Yeah, it, it's the names, butit's also just like the way they
navigated the scary stuff.
Like there's no way Pete, beinga black person is gonna be like,
oh no, I'll just go in.
Call the like call, that's theonly time you call the police is
when some supernatural stuff.
Like no, they can take care ofit.

(30:34):
We're good.
Like, I'm not going in there bymyself.
Um, or even in the nightmareswhere he was standing outside
the house, this is James at thispoint, he was like, well, I
guess it won't end until I goin.
And I was like, you've beenstanding here for five seconds.
I feel like you can give it abetter try than that.
Like, what do you mean just goin?

(30:54):
Like, I think they want me to goin, so I just, what?
I don't care what they want.
Are you kidding me?

Joi (31:01):
I think we're on the same page.
As far as the Wises.
I knew Andrea's Black, andthat's why when they say Andrea,
I was like, no, her name'sAndrea and know for sure that's

Jann (31:12):
caught Drea half the time anyway.

Joi (31:15):
Susan, I'm not too sure about either, but like you said,
the pillowcase makes sense, sowho knows,

Jann (31:24):
Yeah, and I think he even said that, the pillowcase selt
like olive oil or something, andI was like, oh, she's, she's
blackety black.

Joi (31:34):
right?

Jann (31:38):
Um, but yeah, that's just how I, I felt like the whole
time I was reading like, oh,

Joi (31:43):
It's interesting though,

Jann (31:44):
I guess.

Joi (31:45):
Like all the books that I read so far written by black
women, they all have been verymuch like, this is a black
story.
This is black people goingthrough, like navigating through
this, you know?
And th this wasn't it at all.
Just very subtle hints, youknow?

(32:06):
And I'd be really interested tosee what she said about, says
about that as well.
'cause it is not like a bigthing.
We were like, okay, well it's ablack author, we're gonna read
the book.
But we never said like,'cause wejust kind of assumed too that
most of the books were berepresenting black people.
So maybe she just read aboutwhite characters this time.

Jann (32:24):
and to be completely honest, like I don't mind,
right.
Reading and reviewing booksabout, I mean, by white authors
as well, but I just don't thinkI wanna start with that, with
the podcast, no problem withreviewing some of those books
too.
I feel like our voice inanalyzing it is enough of a
black perspective to like, haveit qualified, but yeah, to your

(32:46):
point, like this is the firsttime, um, not the first time
because, you know, there were,it's not like it was only black
characters in any of the other

Joi (32:53):
Nichols, drew Nichols.

Jann (33:03):
I'm so mad that you just like, I'm in shock over here.
Like, does she really?
You're a whole villain now.
Speaking of villain, I don'tknow if I told you yet, but
Jolie and I watched a moviecalled Do Revenge the other day.
it's either on Prime or Netflixor something, but it's so good

(33:24):
and I was hating on it the wholetime, but I liked it, huh?

Joi (33:27):
Do revenge,

Jann (33:29):
Yes.
Do revenge.

Joi (33:31):
huh?
I never heard of that.

Jann (33:34):
It's a do movie, but you know, if you have time to watch
it, I would suggest it.
I recommend it.
It was funny.
Um, yeah, so it's interesting'cause I really wanna get your
opinion on this.
just overall looking at thebook, again, I don't do horror
books, so I don't really havemuch to compare it to I said I
like give ratings based on likethe genre.

(33:57):
I would probably recommend Skinof the Sea before I recommend
the wedding date.
But as far as the romance goes,I feel like it's doing better on
the scale compared to otherromances than Skin of the Sea
was compared to my otherfantasies.
I don't have anything to comparethis to.
Like the closest I've gotten toreading a horror book was
Chamber of Secrets.

(34:17):
Like I was terrified as ateenager reading that book.
I mean like tears in my eyes.
Let me go sleep with momtonight.
Kind of scared once the Basalis,and it was before we knew it was
a snake, but when he started,hearing the whispering in the
hallways, I was like, Uhuh.
He said, I hear too many noisesat night already.

(34:39):
Let me just go sleep with mymom.

Joi (34:41):
I never realized that your fear was that bad before, and I
feel kind of bad that we'rehaving a horror month.

Jann (34:52):
Well, luckily this was not a scary book in my opinion, but,
um, I just don't have a lot tocompare it to and it's very
interesting to me that I wouldrate it like a one star.
because I feel like the, theinteresting thing about this was
the affair.
Like I wasn't that interested inall the very like gratuitous

(35:12):
things about him, like lookingin the mirror at himself and
spinning a chapter on thatalone.
But it also won the Brahm Stokeraward for, it's like a horror,
award that authors can get so,or horror genre award for
authors and novels.
So apparently I'm in theminority by not liking it and

(35:36):
I'm very happy for her that shewon an award.
But there,

Joi (35:40):
For me, knowing, like reading quite a few, like horror
novels and thriller novels, likeI said, gave me the
heebie-jeebies.
I wasn't necessarily like, Igotta sleep with the lights on.
I actually just listened to thebook, when I was sitting in the
dark with my pet sleeping, andplay my switch.

Jann (36:01):
at night at all,

Joi (36:03):
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
And that's the thing, I was homealone too.
'cause you know, Earl worksuntil 11 at night.
But, I was like, oh, goosebumps.
But I didn't think it was tooscary.
Um, I wouldn't write it a one, Iwould give it a three because it
was creepy.
Like every once in a while, myglance to my door, glance to the
mirror, like there's no bitchesright there.
Right.

(36:24):
Especially during those scenes,and because of the background
that I sit, like I'm alreadyafraid of mirrors and advanced
darkness, like SpongeBob.
This is advanced darkness,

Jann (36:38):
You are so ridiculous.

Joi (36:40):
but no.
Yeah, I can see the creepinessfactor.
I, I liked it.
I like where it's at.

Jann (36:45):
I, the scariest thing for me was like how many perverts it
seemed to be in the worldbecause I'm, I'm, this is like
beating around the bush and it'slike too much beating around the
bush.
But it was weird and like sexuala lot of the times that we're
not like like him watching hisfather masturbate to his
grandmother, thinking it was hisaunt.

Joi (37:07):
Yeah.

Jann (37:08):
why am I reading this?
What am I reading right now?
Like, what is this?

Joi (37:15):
I

Jann (37:15):
What level of hell?

Joi (37:19):
I wanted those kind of sexes in the wedding date.
This is what I was asking for,like, let's vice versa, like you
can like skip over this part andthat book and like, put this
into the wedding date.

Jann (37:31):
the whole time, like especially at the beginning
where he was like talking abouthaving sex with a woman, but
then he turned into the womanand then he was choking her and
I was like, did he kill Susan bylike sexual assault?
What happened?
I still don't really understandwhat happened there,

Joi (37:50):
I don't either, because at first he was like, yeah, I'm the
guy.
And it's like, yeah, my nippleslike on my breast.
And I was like,

Jann (37:58):
Well, when she said breasts at first, I'm like,
that's an interesting way todescribe like a man.

Joi (38:03):
Yeah.

Jann (38:04):
And then as I was like, oh, okay, he's a woman now.

Joi (38:07):
Yeah.

Jann (38:08):
Um, but that was like the least creepy esteem for me,
weirdly enough because like therest was people getting off to
dead bodies and family members.

Joi (38:21):
Ooh.
You know, another creepy one waswhen the dead grandmother was
looking at him in the doorwaywatching her, and like she was
looking at him like, comingtowards him.
That was creepy.
I was like, Ooh, get out ofthere.
Like, I don't understand why henever moved away.
Just standing there, like, I'mlike, that's the thing, like a

(38:46):
lot of this, book too, it waskind of funny because the way my
mind works, I wanna turn thingsinto a funny situation when I
get too scared.
So, um, when the part,

Jann (38:56):
I don't have that gene.
Maybe that's the differencebetween us.
Like when I get scared, Iimmediately get pissed that I'm
scared.

Joi (39:04):
I'm so angry.
I'm that, I'm scared now.
What's that?
Ghosting on punch in the face.

Jann (39:10):
a defense mechanism.
I turn into fight likeimmediately.
But Sorry.
Go ahead.

Joi (39:17):
I definitely go down the route of black people laughing
at inappropriate things whenthey should be like doing
something else.
But I was thinking like thewhole time in the reflection,
um, when he was in the showerand it was like him, but not
him, but it was somebody else.
And I imagine him going like,that can't be me.
His dick's too big.

Jann (39:41):
That's messed up.
Didn't he say something likethat though?
Like I swear every sexual scenethey had in there was like to
make you feel uncomfortable.
And I feel like thinking aboutit, and this is, I like took
myself out of the scene becauseit just made me that
uncomfortable and I was like,this must be intentional to
like, you know what?

(40:02):
It gave me vibes of, do youremember the episode of the
office, the Halloween episodewhere Gabe made that movie and
it was just a bunch of creepyscenes to make you feel
unsettled?
That's what this book remindedme of.
A lot of this doesn't even makesense, especially in the
beginning where he just keptwaking up.
It was chapter 10, I checked itwas chapter 10 before I even

(40:23):
realized that it was the sameperson through all of these
scenes.
Like I'm sitting here like, whenare we gonna get to the story?
That's what I'm here for is aplots not just uncomfortable
scene after uncomfortable scene.

Joi (40:35):
That's exactly, you hit the nail on the head.
'cause I said it was likeuncanny.
It was uncomfortable.
It gave me like theheebie-jeebies listening to it.

Jann (40:44):
Like the first, the first scene.
Yeah, the first scene.
I was like, oh, that's creepy.
And I actually turned it off,like it might be too creepy.
And like the next day I went togo listen to it and I was like,
oh, another kind of creepy sceneby chapter three.
I was like, what's happening?
Like, come on.
And then by chapter 10, when weactually finally started getting

(41:04):
to the pot, I was just annoyed,like, I can't believe.
And I was so excited to put iton the list.
'cause I'm like, I don't likehorror books.
I'm really gonna scare the shiton myself with this one because
it won the Brahm Stalker award.
Um, and then I wasn't scared.
I was just like,

Joi (41:22):
Yeah.

Jann (41:22):
get it.
I don't get it.
And I, and I know I'm not thetarget audience, so I'm just
gonna let it be that, but yeah.

Joi (41:29):
the thing, like being a horror enthusiast, you have to
know your genre, you have toknow your authors because
there's been more, like, let'ssay I've read like 30 books so
far, that's horror.
You know?
I would say at least half ofthem have either fallen flat or
I'm just like bored.

(41:49):
You know?
You have to find the right kindof writer and the right kind of
story.
Because more than that won'twork for you.
It's the same thing withfantasy, same thing with
romantic.
Like some things work, somethings don't, and then you find
like who you like, you know?

Jann (42:06):
That's fair.
I just feel like I read so manyromance and fantasy novels in my
life that I like can immediatelypick it up and know what trope
it's gonna be.
And I compare it to others andsee how I feel about it.
And like sometimes I can losemyself in the story, with horror
and I'm just saying this to giveher credit.
Either I'm too afraid to finishor I finish it.
And I was like, well that wasstupid because I didn't wanna
read it in the first place.

(42:27):
So that's why I don't read them,you know.

Joi (42:30):
And that's another thing.
'cause horror has so manydifferent, like, like you say,
you can pick up a re or romanticbook.
Like, okay, I see where this isgoing pretty easily.
You know?
I feel like with horror, there'sbody horror, there's ghosts,
there's demons, there's mindset.
There's so many different waysyou can go and there's so many
ways you can mess it up, youknow?
So, That's the way I look at itanyway.

(42:52):
'cause I don't, I don't like,like body horror at all.
I don't wa I never watch saw,um, I've never,

Jann (42:59):
like gory things?

Joi (43:00):
yeah, gory body, like anything like that.
Like if it's mutilation ofsomeone's body, past factors
with them just getting killed,

Jann (43:08):
Like where where is the because I feel like with some
slasher film, sometimes they go
with the shock factor.
So is that too much for you or is it like the saw
movies?
Like how did you feel about, um,the purge

Joi (43:23):
I don't mind the purge, you know?
Um, I can

Jann (43:26):
final destination?

Joi (43:28):
I can watch it, but when it gets too gross, I close my eyes
because the way that my brain isset up, I'll constantly see just
that, that moment over and overagain.
And I just, I can't do it.
And I can feel it.
Like, if someone has like aneedle slowing slowly going
through someone's eye, If that'sthe whole movie, it's just
constant, like body stuff likethat.

(43:49):
I can't do it, but if it's justlike this one scene, this guy is
getting killed horribly with aneedle in his eye and it's going
for a while, I'm like, babe,just just tell me when it's
over.
Like just, lemme know.
It's over, you know?

Jann (43:59):
So like any movie's directed by Gabe, not your
thing?

Joi (44:02):
Yeah.
Basically.

Jann (44:07):
That's

Joi (44:07):
So, yeah.
Yeah.

Jann (44:10):
Uh, yeah.
That's how I felt.
Like, I felt like they tried orshe tried to create horror
through a mood of Just makingyou uncomfortable, but mostly I
feel like it was hard to follow.
It got too lengthy at times andum, yeah, I did not appreciate,
like the weird sex scenes

Joi (44:29):
And the sex scenes

Jann (44:30):
have did without

Joi (44:30):
with the the voice actor.
'cause it was all breathinghard.
Oh yeah.
And her breast, it was sodelicious.
That voice actor freaked me outon those sex scenes.
I'm like,

Jann (44:43):
It freaks me out with most things.
And I feel like the first likeweird sex scene they had was
when they were talking about thegirl's body on the sidewalk and
he said that he was gettingexcited looking at it.
And I was like, wait, what?
And little did I know that wasjust the tip of the freaking
iceberg.
So

Joi (45:01):
Oh my gosh.

Jann (45:01):
appreciate it.

Joi (45:02):
one more scary part before we move on.
When Pete said he looked at thehouse and the house was like, go
away.
And he was like, what did I justsee that?
And then he looked away and helooked back over and it was like
over him like this.
I kind of freaked out, like,what the hell?

Jann (45:17):
I didn't think I actually laughed during that.
It gave me like Monster housevibes,

Joi (45:21):
It gave me

Jann (45:22):
which was a great

Joi (45:23):
too, but it, it was also kind of creepy.

Jann (45:27):
Yeah.
It just made me wanna watchMonster House.

Joi (45:31):
That was a good movie, so

Jann (45:32):
I was not creeped out at all, but it did lend, itself to
the fact that, yeah, they werenot black characters because if
a house told me to go away, I'dkeep driving

Joi (45:43):
I'll have to tell

Jann (45:44):
and I'd call the police and say, yeah.

Joi (45:51):
no, I'll just

Jann (45:52):
be fair, Andrea didn't hear all that.
She said she felt like creepedout, but I feel like if the
black girl had heard that, shewould've been like, oh yeah,
let's go to the police station,

Joi (46:01):
Yeah.

Jann (46:02):
like.

Joi (46:02):
To be honest, if I was Pete, I feel like the better
case scenario is not to go tryto find him.
I would try to tell her like,listen, he went through all
these papers, he left them out.
He's obviously coming home inthe morning.
Let's wait here for him.
It's better that way.
You know, we don't know if he'sdoing something like dangerous.
I don't want us to follow him,especially in your condition.

(46:23):
Let's just hang out here.
Let's wait up for him.
And especially if you know he'sgonna kill himself, you just
like, like done and done.
I'm not driving four and a halfhours to go to a haunted house.

Jann (46:34):
But I mean, to be fair, if you're thinking about being like
the kind of sociopath that Peteis, he's trying to earn as many
brownie points as he can.
So him going out of his way todrive hours is gonna earn a lot
more brownie points.
especially if they find himdead.
rather than him convincing herto not go and then he ends up
dead, like in that case, shemight blame him rather than be
thankful to him.

(46:54):
And he's a sociopath.
So

Joi (46:56):
It, it gave me creeper vibes too,'cause like kind of,

Jann (46:59):
a psychopath,

Joi (47:00):
he gave me very much like the nice guy vibes.
Like, I'm such a nice guy, youknow, let me do this, lemme do
that.
But he's acting like fuckingnuts, you know,

Jann (47:11):
And here

Joi (47:12):
toxic.

Jann (47:13):
I was so annoyed by the whole, every time you try to
feel sympathy for a character,it, they led on that.
They were also a piece of shit.
Like I was so annoyed with Jameswhen he was telling him and like
when Pete punched him in theface, I was like, good for you.
Like, how dare he tell you thisabout your deceased wife?
Like literally is not doinganything for you.

(47:34):
It's completely selfish to tellyou.
And then to go on about how hardit is on him.
I would've punched him in theface too.
Honestly.
I wouldn't have had thepatience.
I would've just stabbed him.

Joi (47:44):
I feel like Pete, he wasn't a bad guy until he

Jann (47:47):
nope, he was.

Joi (47:49):
Until, well, I know he was a bad guy, obviously, but I feel
like he wasn't bad in the storyfrom our perspective until he
started going around Andrea somemore and go like, yeah, this
gonna be my

Jann (48:00):
That's what I mean.
Like I feel like it did kindalend itself to the creepy vibe,
that everybody who you thoughtwas a normal person was skeevy.
Like, and I'll go all the wayback to, even the girl that he
killed was talking about how shewas giving people fake readings
and didn't care.
And I was like, okay, Stevie.
And like the woman who was atthe convenience store, that was

(48:22):
freaked out when she saw her inlike the skeleton face.
And it turns out that she shotsomeone in the face at point
blank range and didn't care.
I'm like, all right, Stevie.
And then even Andrea, like sheknew about the affair too.
Who is this a secret from?
no one is an absolute victim inall this.
Whereas I, like, I do understandthat like Andrea didn't, like

(48:43):
she's still a victim in it.
Like she didn't.
Ask for any of this, but at thesame time, like she could have
left at any time.
You know,

Joi (48:52):
Yeah, she

Jann (48:53):
I'm just thinking like her, if you think about her not
knowing that her husband wasunfaithful and trying to stay
for him, and then her knowingthis information and then still
trying to stay, I still a littlebit less bad for this person
because she kind of knows thatshe's getting into this for
someone who's kind of not worthit.

Joi (49:12):
I.
To as true as it is, I hearexactly what you're saying.
I don't think the best time toserve someone with divorce
papers is when they're losingtheir mind.
Like she wouldn't even tell himgood news.
Can you imagine bad news?
Like, I'm leaving you, you

Jann (49:29):
Well, she didn't know if it was good news though, because
he was cheating on her,

Joi (49:33):
Mm-hmm.

Jann (49:34):
and so the woman died like as far as she knew, he was
planning on leaving her for thiswoman.
And I'm not even saying servehim divorce papers, but that
doesn't mean that like, I don'tknow, I was just annoyed.
You know?
There was like,

Joi (49:51):
how long she knew, because obviously she knew way before
they had the whole breakup talk.
So she knew before Pete.
Um, probably, but it, it brokemy heart when she was like, oh,
maybe he's here to kind of like,for our anniversary.
This is gonna be so nice.
I would love this.
And

Jann (50:06):
I think it was the same time they both saw him at the
same outing.
Yeah.
Because remember it wasn't evena week after she was gonna
confront him that Susan died.

Joi (50:16):
Yeah.
I don't think it's the sameouting though, because they were
like giggling and shit andhaving a good time at the end
when they were going back intoit, when she saw them.
Maybe it was like super close,but yeah, not at the time when
they broke

Jann (50:28):
No, no.
I mean, like her and Pete foundout at the same

Joi (50:31):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I see what you mean.
Yeah.
It was super sad though.
I felt real bad for her thiswhole time.
I can't talk shit about her atall.
Yeah, like I most likelywould've left too, but it was
just, everything happened soquick.
Like even when she's like, I'mgonna leave his ass right now,
you know?
And then to find out you'repregnant on top of it.

Jann (50:58):
I just don't like, it seemed like it was months after
Susan died though.
You know, like the whole, likehim going from nightmares to him
killing himself, that was verysudden.
But they said like Pete wasmowing his lawn after months of
not doing anything.
And even James said, I felt bad.
I haven't seen Pete in monthsafter this whole thing.
'cause I was grieving in my ownway.

(51:19):
So she stayed with him formonths and she, he was just
having nightmares, it wasn'tlike to this point.

Joi (51:25):
that.
I thought it was, she found outlike Saturday and then, or
whatever Pete found out and thenSusan died like Sunday or
Monday, you know, and theneverything happened to the

Jann (51:37):
I was like a week, but I'm talking about that.
That's true.
Like that was like Pete foundout and killed her pretty quick.
He was efficient, but from thepoint that Susan died to the
point at the beginning of thisbook was months and

Joi (51:51):
Oh, I didn't know that.

Jann (51:52):
he was just having like nightmares until the beginning
of the book, like none of thehallucinations or anything
started.
So she stayed through all ofthat.
She got pregnant during thattime.

Joi (52:03):
That's crazy.
I didn't think it was that.
I didn't think it was that longeither.
'cause she was very much adamantlike, I'm gonna confront him
about this.
I'm gonna leave him over this.
but because of Susan, and thenbecause he was losing his mind,
she was like, I'm gonna holdoff.

Jann (52:18):
Yeah, I feel like that was very

Joi (52:19):
sitting on it.

Jann (52:20):
For her to say.
But, yeah, I feel like that wasa little bit intentional, like
the whole hard to followtimeline because again, it was
given off that vibe of losingyour mind and being someone
who's losing track of time andputting yourself in James's
shoes.
but yeah.
Yeah, I did get that.
And I feel like I, the onlyreason that I knew that it was
months is because I was superpissed that he came over there

(52:43):
and like immediately wanted toconfess after it seemed like
Pete was just getting his lifeback together and mowing his
lawn for the first time.
And he had weeds growing up tolike his knees and stuff, and
I'm like, he's finally gettinghis stuff together and you're
gonna come confess because youfeel guilty and you're having
nightmares.
That's real messed up.
then it turns out Pete was alsoa creep, so.

Joi (53:02):
I, I
read that as Pete.
Just
like he was doing it for the first time since she died,
which is like a couple daysmaybe, and then like he's still
grieving and then you go anddump this on him about his dead
wife on top of it.

Jann (53:16):
Yeah.
I mean, weeds don't get kneehigh in a couple days, but yeah,
he, he had said in his like, ranlike rant that it happened
months.

Joi (53:25):
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Yeah, James was a piece of shit.
They were both pieces of shit,you know, who wasn't a piece of
shit.
Andrea, do you wanna get intothis whole thing with his dad
and like his grandmother and theaunt that got killed?
And that was so confusing to me.
I still honestly don't reallyknow what happened with

Jann (53:49):
I mean it is very like etched in my mind what happened
and I wish I could like scrub itout.
But yeah, it seemed like his momwas going through, his
grandmother was going, Lillianwas going through the same thing
of losing her mind and hersister finally was like, listen,
you gotta get it together, orI'm gonna take your kid.
Which fair, like if you're goingcrazy, like she was going crazy.

(54:11):
You gotta think about the kids.
And she pretty much said like,okay, I'm gonna come get him.
He is.
And I feel like she was playingit cool because she didn't think
Jimmy was gonna go.
And then immediately when hestarted to stand up, she like
lost her shit and BD, hersister's head in and insane,

(54:31):
complete

Joi (54:32):
also, she was sexually abusing the father too.
Jim.
Jimmy, right?

Jann (54:38):
think when did, where'd you get that?

Joi (54:40):
With the whole notches in the bed.

Jann (54:45):
I don't think it was abuse necessarily.
I felt like, I mean, it isabuse, don't get me wrong.
It is definitely abuse.
But, um, I don't think, when Isay I don't think it's abuse, I
don't think she was actuallytouching him, but I don't think
she under, I think she thoughthe was getting off on her when

(55:06):
in reality he was going crazyhimself and thought it was his
aunt.
Which again is creepy.
That whole dynamic is justweird.
Um, and no, I don't wanna getinto it

Joi (55:17):
Okay.

Jann (55:19):
after we already got into it.
I don't wanna talk about it.

Joi (55:23):
And the whole thing was like the whole ancestry of this
is their land.
And everyone went crazy.

Jann (55:28):
That's why I don't really understand why the sister wasn't
victim to this.

Joi (55:34):
Like it was just like one outta every generation or I
don't get it.

Jann (55:39):
they kind of talked about how it has something to do with
the house and how Lilliandecided to move back to that
house and that's when shestarted to go crazy.
but James went crazy withoutever being in that house.

Joi (55:53):
Didn't he go to the house at the very beginning when they
talked about how the grandmotherdied in the first place and the
boos, like they came and cleanedit up, closed it, and then left
again.
And that's when he changed hisname and everything and just
like, you don't have to comeback, but something calls them
back to that property, to thatland.

(56:14):
And that's why they always comeback and that's why they always
end up going insane and killingthemselves.
And that's what she said at theend too.
She was like, your daughter,she's gonna find this house and
she's gonna clean it up and it'sgonna look great.
And then she's gonna startslowly losing her mind till she
dies too.

Jann (56:29):
Well, I'm just thinking about who those relatives could
be, because they did say that atthe beginning of the book.
They went to the funeral justbecause they felt like it was
the right thing to do.
but that couldn't have beenJames.
Right?
That couldn't have been like,'cause he lived there.
They made it seem like theperson who inherited the house
didn't know anything about it.
I guess he could have beenacting like he didn't know

(56:49):
anything about it, even thoughhe grew up there.

Joi (56:52):
Yeah, he acted like he didn't know about it.
'cause remember he changed hisname, his last name and when he
wanted show his son James, thepicture of the grandmother.
'cause it had the name Boone onit and he didn't want him to
know about that.

Jann (57:05):
oh.
Okay.
Well there you go.

Joi (57:10):
Yeah.
Good

Jann (57:12):
So anyway, I heard that you said you were gonna rate it
a three.
Um, is that just scary factor orare you changing your rating
from a four to a

Joi (57:19):
I dunno.
Scary factor for my kind ofscary, this got me at like a
three.
It got me a little paranoidabout being in the dark, but I
wasn't gonna like sleep.
The lights on,

Jann (57:32):
Okay.
Weirdo.
So, anything else you wannabring up or can we consider this
one a close?

Joi (57:39):
The epilogue.
Annoyed the hell outta me alittle bit.
It was just like, I wantedsomething bad to happen to Pete
at the end.
But I guess like if it's just amental health crisis that James
went through, and that's justlike a family kind of curse,
pretty much just mental health.
Um, it kind of makes sense thatnothing bad really happens to
him.
I wanted like the police to findout that he killed Susan or

(58:00):
something, but nothing reallycame of it,'cause they never
really looked back into Susan'sdeath like he said they would,
and that's what

Jann (58:08):
One thing I didn't get about,

Joi (58:11):
Hmm.

Jann (58:11):
yeah.
One thing I didn't get aboutPete, because as much as I don't
agree with him, I can understandhis motivation for wanting to
screw people over that screwedhim over.
he killed Susan and said, Idon't know why she would ever
believe that I would raise thisbastard child, or like someone
else's kid, and then he's gonnaend up raising his kid anyway.

Joi (58:28):
Out of revenge.
That's different.
I'm not gonna be played.
I'm be the player.
It doesn't make sense becauseit's an idiot.
What did you think of Susan?
She was just kind of there, justlike she died at the beginning.
She was just a cheater.
That's pretty much it.

Jann (58:44):
yeah, don't care.

Joi (58:48):
I'm trying to like draw it out so I can remember at this
point I was gonna make, but Idon't remember something about
Pete and it just drove me crazy.

Jann (58:58):
Was it that he was so insecure?

Joi (59:00):
Obviously he was insecure.
It was, it was just, rememberwhat I was gonna say.
So when James found out, whilehe was hanging, while he was
dying, he was thinking about,it's like that Pete killed
Susan.
Like he had to be him.
Like I didn't kill her, right.

Jann (59:19):
Mm-hmm.

Joi (59:20):
he was like, well I do deserve this anyway.
'cause I did take a life anyway.
I killed Camilla.

Jann (59:24):
Right.

Joi (59:25):
Um, I feel like even though he was very selfish and very
like me, me, me, me, me as hewas going down the spiral too, I
feel like he could've been aforgivable character if he got
help and if he didn't killCamilla, you know what I mean?
Like, I feel like he could'veeasily like turned that around
and been like a better characterand been

Jann (59:46):
feel like he would've been redeemable if he had just gotten
help.
Like I, I'm not saying like Iwish he hadn't killed Camilla,
but if he was out of his rightmind, then I don't think that's
necessarily something you canblame someone for.
Like he was literally losing hismind.
It's not like he was Yeah.
So I feel like he could've beenredeemable.
Sure.
Um, my whole thing is I thoughtthe curse was going to end

(01:00:08):
because he didn't take his ownlife technically.
Like Pete picked him up and thendropped him again.
So it was kind of like a murder.
So I thought that might likebreak the family curse, but nah.

Joi (01:00:21):
I.
I don't know.
Like I was really hoping thathe, that Pete would help him get
down, but take him into like,um, an an asylum or something
because he did kill Camilla atthe very least.
And then he was gonna blamekilling Susan on him too.
So then he could watch him raisehis daughter.
Well, that's why I'm sayinglike, I thought it would come

(01:00:42):
out, or like he would confess toit once he got the help.
Once he was saved from thehouse, I thought they're gonna
like the, would be them takelike him visiting.
Pete, Andrea and the baby likeolder.
Obviously visiting James inasylum'cause criminally insane
'cause he killed someone and hecan watch Pete raise his

(01:01:04):
daughter.
I thought that would be more ofa revenge than you just dying.
Me taking care of you.
'cause I also think that you'llbecome a ghost and haunt the
shit out of me.
You know?
I mean, I'd rather, I think therevenge would be better if
you're living and I'm living thelife that you would probably
want to have with your

Jann (01:01:21):
I mean, if you think about it, like, I don't think that
argument makes sense becausefrom Pete's point of view, he
didn't know that he killedCamilla.
And he also didn't really openup the murder of his wife again
because it would've pointed tohim.
So it would've just been himsaving him and then him getting
help and like he wouldn't besleeping with his wife, which
was his goal.
So yeah, I, I think Pete'smotivation and his actions kind

(01:01:45):
of lined up for me.
what I will point out too isthat I felt like he was selfish
until the very end.
Like the point that the factthat he said he's not gonna
leave a note because he didn'tknow what to say to them, um,
you could have at leastconfessed to like killing
Camilla, like give her familysome, like

Joi (01:02:03):
Mm-hmm.

Jann (01:02:04):
why

Joi (01:02:05):
But that goes very much to the,

Jann (01:02:07):
No one knows he did that except him,

Joi (01:02:09):
because yeah, he did say he is like, I don't want like my
daughter.
'cause at that point he knew,um, Andrea was pregnant from the
ghost or whatever.
Um, that to have the samemystery in the same like, issue
of trying decode some kind ofmessage.
Like why would you have to besomething decoded, like tell her
like, this is an illness andthat you're probably going to
deal with it too.
Stay far away from this place.

(01:02:30):
Don't ever come here.
Who says it has to be short andsweet and to the point, like,
you know what I mean?
Make it a book.
Like

Jann (01:02:36):
Say, look, listen, stay in therapy your entire life and
never come to this place.
Done.

Joi (01:02:42):
Yeah.

Jann (01:02:43):
And also, I killed this person, sorry,

Joi (01:02:46):
Right.
Don't look, don't listen to thevisions.
Don't, don't look into our photoalbums, don't look into our
family.
It's cursed.
Don't do it.
You know, it could have been amillion different ways to

Jann (01:02:57):
even to his daughter, like just write it out to his wife
even.
Like, Hey, this is what washappening if you wanna save our
daughter.
And the fact that he knew thatshe was pregnant.
Um,

Joi (01:03:08):
and

Jann (01:03:09):
been the convincing points.
No, it just could have been theconvincing point.
Like I never told him.
If he knows, then this must betrue, you know?
So I'm gonna keep my daughteraway from this place.
Simple.

Joi (01:03:20):
And on top of that too, it is just like it, it gave me kind
of creepy feelings too.
He was like, well, I don't, Idon't really wanna do this.
And Nico was like, but you camehere to do it, so you're gonna
deal it.
You know?
I was like, well dang.
Like that's like super.
That gave me the creeps too, youknow, when she like, I kind of
let'em, and then like the auntwas like, there's nothing I can

(01:03:41):
do.
Like I tried and there's nothingI can do.
She's more powerful than me.
Like, geez.
Now I was hoping that like if wego with the whole metaphor of
him being like, just like thepersonifying, the mental
illness, illness itself, andjust seeing the two sides fight,
that was really sad because whenyou think about it, when you
have a mental illness, like yourbrain is fighting itself, so you

(01:04:02):
could see like to the very end,like he was trying to fight it
and he lost.
Yeah.

Jann (01:04:08):
I thought the aunt had disappeared to like, help them
find James.
Like,'cause they said, like thewife said, like, that light just
came on and it was not on whenwe pulled up.
I thought that was the aunt.
Um, but yeah, I guess not.

Joi (01:04:23):
Like I said, we're, we're very much like we talk about
like how these authors couldhave done this or should have
been written that way, you knowwhat I mean?
But I'm sure like, not to saythey shouldn't be proud of their
work or anything, but you know,people's minds work differently.
People are satisfied indifferent ways.
Like

Jann (01:04:38):
Oh

Joi (01:04:39):
obviously a lot of

Jann (01:04:39):
it would've been.

Joi (01:04:41):
but you know, it's just different ways it could've went.

Jann (01:04:43):
Yeah, definitely not saying it would've been better
or worse.
That was just a prediction thatI had that didn't pan out.
I like doing that actually,like, just saying like, this is
what I thought would happen andI was completely wrong because I
feel like I get like arrogantalmost with like predicting the
ending of things.
So when I'm actually surprised,I'm like, nice.
Nicely done.

Joi (01:05:03):
If it's nicely done, if it's like, there's been times
where I try to predict like theend of like other horror, um,
books and they don't pan outthat way, but they're also a bad
ending.
I'm like, this is your job, dobetter.

Jann (01:05:18):
Do better.
Yeah.

Joi (01:05:21):
But yeah, I, I think overall I still gonna stick with
the four.
just to have one of those bookswhere it's this is a good like
fall kind of spooky book to readwhen you're just bored a few
years down the road.

Jann (01:05:33):
So I was considering upping it to one and a half
stars, but I'm not gonna dothat.
And this is why.
I feel like while the writinglike did was impressive in the
fact that she like set a moodwithout actually saying much as
far as dissenting into insanity.
I also feel like I'm taking ahalf a star away because it had

(01:05:54):
unnecessary like uncomfortablesexual incestuous scenes and
that's not my thing.
So I feel like I should take awhole star away.
If I can do half a star rating,I'm gonna do half a star.

Joi (01:06:06):
I gotta say the whole sex scenes and the, I, it wasn't my
cup of tea.
Not those kind of sex scenes,love, sex scenes, but those kind
of sex scenes, it, I wasn'tfeeling it.

Jann (01:06:18):
This is not where I wanted them to manifest.

Joi (01:06:21):
It was, it was one of those things where it's like they're
using sex as like a, a like a,almost like a perverted kind of
like, what do you call the showwhere it's like, you're killing
people but you're getting off onit.
It is like that kind of thing.
Like I, I wasn't enjoying that.
Yeah.
It was like a snuff kind of'cause he was killing people too
sometimes.
Or it was like blood involvedand Yeah.
Or was incest involved, allthose things.

Jann (01:06:43):
It

Joi (01:06:44):
No, it was the opposite of Turning Moore.
I turned into a desert,

Jann (01:06:51):
All right.
And with that, I think we cancall this one rat.
All right.
So, um, we want your guys'discussion like in your voices
and when we talk about thesebooks.
So let us know what you feelabout Crescendo, if you've read
it or any other book that you'veread.
Um, joy, where can they talk tous?

Joi (01:07:14):
One more thing about Crescendo.
When you just said the title, Ilooked it up and I was like, I
know Crescendo.
Right?
That's like the peak or thesummit or the climax like this.
All that's a perfect title forthis book is everything leads to
a Head and it just explodes andthen he dies.

(01:07:34):
And also all the sexing.
You can find us at Black GirlReads Podcast.
The blackest spelled BK onTikTok Twitter.
Well, on Twitter is Black GirlReads Pod because podcast was
too long for the username.
Go figure.

(01:07:56):
But yeah, us out.
Um, reach out and follow us.

Jann (01:08:02):
Okay.
We're gonna work on that.
Uh, but let's go ahead andannounce the, next book, which
is a mystery, which is way moreat my speed.
So it is called Monday's NotComing by Tiffany D.
Jackson.
so the synopsis, here we go.
Monday, Charles is missing andonly Claudia seems to notice.

(01:08:24):
Claudia and Monday have alwaysbeen inseparable more sisters
than friends.
So when Monday doesn't turn upfor the first day of school,
Claudia's worried.
When she doesn't sew for thesecond day of school or the
second week, Claudia knows thatsomething is wrong Monday
wouldn't just leave her toendure tests and bullies alone,
not after last year's rumors,and not with her grades on the
line.

(01:08:45):
Now Claudia needs her best andonly friend more than ever.
But Monday's mother refuses togive Claudia a straight answer.
And Monday's sister April iseven less help.
As Claudia digs deeper into herfriend's disappearance, she
discovers that no one seems toremember the last time they saw
Monday.
How can a teenage girl justvanish without anyone noticing

(01:09:05):
that she's gone?
That's it.
That's the whole, that's thewhole synopsis.
I have never read a Tiffany D.
Jackson book, but she has a lotof books on our list.
She seems very prolific, so I'mexcited to get into it.

Joi (01:09:22):
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I'm excited to talk about it.
I, I'm ahead.
I read it already, so I can'twait to talk about it.

Jann (01:09:30):
I did too, but again, I've told you this more than once and
I'm going to put you out therenow because you did it again.
You could not talk about thebook before.
Book

Joi (01:09:41):
talk about it.
I'm excited to talk about it.
Read it already.

Jann (01:09:46):
wasn't necessary.
Alright.
Joy is continuously breaking thebook club rules no matter how
often I tell her not to.
So, So Joy might be a temporarycharacter on this podcast, just
so y'all know.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

United States of Kennedy

Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}From Page to Nightmare: Dissecting 'Crescendo'| BLK Girl Reads Book Club Podcast Ep. 5

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}United States of Kennedy

Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

All Episodes

From Page to Nightmare: Dissecting 'Crescendo'| BLK Girl Reads Book Club Podcast Ep. 5

United States of Kennedy