17 | Say Yes to Life When Fear Says No – Social Anxiety Series: Part 2

Have you ever wanted to say yes—to hanging out with friends, trying something new, showing up somewhere—but anxiety convinced you to stay home?

You make excuses, cancel last minute, and wonder why fear always wins.
 This episode is for the person who wants to go—but feels trapped behind an invisible wall of self-doubt.

In this empowering part two of our Social Anxiety Series, Jessica Davis (licensed therapist and creator of the C.O.U.R.A.G.E. Method) explores how fear, overthinking, and comfort zones slowly shrink your world—and how to take it back.

You’ll learn how courage isn’t about not being scared—it’s about taking action anyway.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why comfort zones feel safe—but quietly limit your confidence and growth
• 5 research-backed strategies to step outside your anxiety (without overwhelming yourself)
• How to clarify your “why” so you feel more motivated to take action
• Visualization and “if-then” planning techniques that prepare you for tough social moments
• How to reflect and reward yourself to build momentum
• A powerful truth: Avoidance builds regret. Courage builds confidence.

Got a question or feedback? Text us and share your thoughts—we’d love to hear from you!

RESOURCES:
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🎙️ Presented by Davis-Smith Mental Health

This podcast was created by Davis-Smith Mental Health, offering counseling for teens & young adults in Illinois (only). We accept BCBS PPO, Aetna PPO, and self-pay clients.

⚠️ Disclaimer: Block Out the Noise provides personal insights and practical strategies to help manage anxiety and self-doubt. The content is intended for educational and informational purposes only and should not be used as a substitute for professional mental health care, advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a crisis or need immediate assistance, please contact emergency services or a trusted mental health professional immediately.

Episode Transcript

Jessica Davis (00:00):
I've always wanted to say yes to something,
hanging out with friends, tryingsomething new, showing up
somewhere, but anxiety talkedyou out of it.
You end up making excuses, youstay home once again and you

(00:21):
wonder why this fear always wins.
This episode is for the personwho wants to go, but their brain
seems to always get annoyed,because today we're talking
about how to stop letting socialanxiety shrink your life.
Hi, and welcome back toBlackout the Noise.

(00:43):
This is the go-to podcast forteen to young adults who are
ready to quiet anxiety,self-doubt and overthinking.
I'm your host, jessica Davis, alicensed therapist and mindset
coach and the creator of theCourage Method.
This is part two of our socialanxiety series.
Today's episode is all aboutpushing past that invisible wall

(01:05):
when anxiety tells you it'ssafer to stay home, stay quiet,
stay comfortable.
We are going to work onreframing that story.
What if courage looked likesaying yes even when you were
scared?
But before we dive in, I wantto give you a quick reminder.

(01:26):
This podcast is here to supportand guide you, but it is not a
replacement for talking tosomeone in real life.
If you're struggling with yourmental health, please, please
reach out to a therapist and ifyou're in crisis, contact
emergency services or a localhelpline.
You don't have to go throughthis alone.
Also, if you're feelingoverwhelmed anxiety and you're

(01:48):
not sure what to do next,emergency services or a local
helpline.
You don't have to go throughthis alone.
Also, if you're feelingoverwhelmed anxiety and you're
not sure what to do next, grabthat free anxiety survival
toolkit.
I know you've probably heardthis multiple times and you're
really over it by now, but ifyou just listen, grab the free
anxiety survival toolkit.
I probably still will keepsaying it, but not the point.
Just get it.
It is packed with practicaltools to help you calm your mind
, challenge negative thoughtsand take control in those tough

(02:11):
moments.
Don't keep struggling silently.
Get the tools you need.
The link is in the show notes.
All right, let's cut throughthe noise and get started.
In counseling sessions and evenin conversations with friends, I
talk a lot about comfort zones.
Comfort zones feel safe andfamiliar, but they can also

(02:33):
become a box that keeps us stuckright.
I've seen it so many timesTeens who want to join a club
but never show up.
Or young adults who want tomeet new people but cancel last
minute.
And I get it.
I've even had to challengemyself here too.
I love being at home and,honestly, engaging in

(02:53):
conversation with new people cansometimes be tough.
Doing this podcast, honestly,is a little bit out of my
comfort zone as well.
It's putting myself out therein a different of my comfort
zone as well.
It's putting myself out therein a different, vulnerable way.
But when planning this episode,a movie came to mind, and if you

(03:14):
know me, or as you're gettingto know me, you will find out
that I love TV and movies.
But it is a hard sell, honestly, to get me to watch a comedy.
But still, this old moviecalled yes, ma'am comes to mind.
Jim Carrey's character says yesto everything because of a
random conversation with astranger.
Now, I'm definitely notencouraging you to say yes to

(03:36):
everything, but I am saying thissay yes to what might help you
grow.
Say yes to what scares you alittle bit but excites you too.
Life isn't meant to be livedinside the same four emotional
walls.
And, yes, stepping out mightfeel uncomfortable.

(04:01):
You might.
You might fail, you might feelawkward, but you might also
discover something new aboutyourself, and that is never a
waste.
There's this quote, and I'm notsure who wrote it, but I love
it.
It says a comfort zone is abeautiful space, but nothing
ever grows there, and that is sotrue.
When we don't grow, the comfortzone we used to find as a

(04:24):
beautiful space almost becomes aprison of our own making.
I want to help you by goingover five evidence-based steps
to get you out of your comfortzone.
One clarify your why.
A psychologist named Dr LisaDeMoor said that teens are more
likely to stretch themselveswhen they understand the

(04:46):
personal value behind thediscomfort.
So what that means is askingourselves why does this matter
to me?
Is it about connection, growthor proving something to myself?
The clearer your why, theeasier it is for you to face
this fear and show up.

(05:08):
Two start with a micro challenge.
Research has shown thatexposure therapy, which is a
gradual exposure to fearedsituations, helps reduce anxiety
over time.
Pick a small, manageablechallenge that might mean.
For you it could be going tothe grocery store.

(05:29):
For someone else it could begoing to a party.
For another person it could begoing in to ask for a job
application.
Whatever it is, pick what is amanageable step for you.
Maybe for someone else it wouldbe going to that restaurant,
even though they know they'realready hiring just to get
familiar with the space and thencoming back again later to ask

(05:50):
for a job application.
Whatever the step is, just makeit micro enough that you feel
like it is a challenge, butenough for you to actually still
accomplish it.
Three visualize success, notjust survival.
According to neuroscientist DrAndrew Huberman, visualizing
yourself succeeding activatesthe same parts of your brain as

(06:12):
actually doing it.
So don't just imagine gettingthrough it, imagine enjoying it
as well Laughing, feeling proud,feeling strong.
That shifts your brain'sassociation from fear to
empowerment.
I think this is so, so key andwe actually don't use this
enough within life that whenwe're struggling with something

(06:35):
and we have such a major fearabout it, if we actually try to
visualize fear about it, if weactually try to visualize it
going well and the feelings thatare associated with that, it
really does lessen that anxietyabout it.
So, for instance, if you gotinvited to go out with friends
and you're worried that it'sjust going to go really, really
wrong, allowing yourself tovisualize you talking to
multiple people and havingreally great conversations and

(06:58):
leaving on such a high thatyou're like, oh my gosh, I can't
wait to do that again.
Or I am so glad that I did thatVisualize yourself, show
yourself winning, or use theif-then strategy.
Behavioral scientists call thisimplementation intention and it
works like this If I start topanic, then I'll count to 10 and

(07:21):
take a deep breath, or if Ifeel like leaving, then I'll
talk to one more person first.
So you're planning forchallenges, gives you more
control because you've alreadyset yourself up for what you'll
do when that challenge occurs.
And five reflect and reward.
As you already know, I love agood reward system.

(07:44):
I am a fan of having not onlymyself, but having clients pat
themselves on the back whenthey've done something.
I said it before and I'll sayit again we don't give ourselves
enough positive feedback forwhat we do.
We think that we should just bedoing it instead of rewarding
ourselves in some kind of way.

(08:04):
And in this situation itdoesn't have to be a big reward
or this, you know, in-depthreflection.
It could just be askingyourself what did I do that I am
proud of, and justacknowledging that for yourself.
The reward also doesn't have tobe big either.
It could just be sharing howwonderful that moment was, or

(08:24):
even if it didn't go well, justsharing that hey, this was
really tough, but I still did itand allowing other people to
kind of enjoy your progress aswell.
If you are loving the tips inthis episode, then I think you
will love the Anxiety SurvivalToolkit too.
That's a free resource.
It's filled with copingstrategies and emergency reset

(08:46):
tool, courage calls and muchmore.
Grab it now.
Don't wait until anxiety takesover.
The link is in the show notes.
Now to the courageous moment.
Pick one thing this week that'soutside of your comfort zone.
It doesn't have to be big, justneeds to be bright.
Say yes, go and then write downhow you felt afterwards.

(09:08):
Not what anxiety predictedright, that doesn't matter but
what actually happened.
And if you do decide to writeabout the anxiety beforehand, I
hope you write how you proved itwrong, right.
So even if you're reallyanxious and you still did it,
that's a win.
That's something to write downand say like gosh, I was so
stressed and overwhelmed by thisand I didn't even think I could

(09:30):
get through it, but I did.
Writing that is huge.
Avoidance really makes us feelsafe in the moment, but it
honestly builds regret.
Courage feels hard in themoment, but it builds confidence
.
You deserve a life that'sbigger than your fear.
I really enjoyed doing thisepisode.

(09:52):
It's probably one of my morefavorite episodes to record, but
I'm excited for part three,which is coming out next week,
of our social anxiety series.
Thank you so so much forlistening.
Until next time, keep movingforward, trust yourself and
never forget you have what ittakes to block out the noise.