June 30, 2025 • 12 mins
You’re not just anxious—you’re exhausted.
Exhausted from trying so hard. From wondering how you’re coming across. From constantly rehearsing what to say and replaying it after.
This episode is for the person who’s tired of their own brain. Who feels like a burden to themselves but doesn’t know how to turn it off. If that’s you—you’re not alone, and you’re not broken.
In Part 3 of the Social Anxiety Series, therapist and mindset coach Jessica Davis goes deeper than just coping skills. You’ll explore what happens when anxiety leads to burnout and self-rejection, and learn how to rebuild your relationship with yourself—one small, compassionate step at a time.
This isn’t about being “less awkward.” It’s about being kinder to the person you are.
What You’ll Learn:
- Why anxiety isn’t just nervousness—it’s mental exhaustion
- How to stop overthinking and isolating when you’re drained
- What to do when the voice in your head is constantly critical
- 5 research-backed strategies to rebuild self-compassion
- Why healing starts with showing up for yourself—imperfectly
Got a question or feedback? Text us and share your thoughts—we’d love to hear from you!
RESOURCES:
Get your FREE Anxiety Survival Toolkit to help you when your anxiety is overwhelming!
Grab your FREE 90-Day Courage Challenge Cheat Sheet and start building confidence today.
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🎙️ Presented by Davis-Smith Mental Health
This podcast was created by Davis-Smith Mental Health, offering counseling for teens & young adults in Illinois (only). We accept BCBS PPO, Aetna PPO, and self-pay clients.
⚠️ Disclaimer: Block Out the Noise provides personal insights and practical strategies to help manage anxiety and self-doubt. The content is intended for educational and informational purposes only and should not be used as a substitute for professional mental health care, advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a crisis or need immediate assistance, please contact emergency services or a trusted mental health professional immediately.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jessica Davis (00:07):
it's not just the anxiety anymore.
It's the fact that you're tiredof constantly trying, tired of
wondering how you come across,tired of rehearsing everything
before you say it and replayingit after, tired of feeling like
you can't just exist withoutsecond guessing every little
(00:28):
thing.
And maybe no one knows how badit's gotten, because on the
outside you seem fine, but onthe inside you feel like you're
unraveling.
This episode is for the personwho feels like they've become a
burden to themselves, who's sickof their own overthinking but
doesn't know how to turn it off.
If that's you, stay with me, hi, and welcome back to Block Out
(00:58):
the Noise.
The place where teens and youngadults come to quiet, anxiety,
self-doubt and overthinking.
I'm Jessica Davis, a licensedtherapist, mindset coach and
creator of the Courage Method.
We're in part three of thesocial anxiety series.
Part one was about the fear ofsaying the wrong thing.
(01:20):
Part two was about saying yeswhen fear says no.
But this one, this episode, isfor when you don't want to say
anything at all because you'retoo tired, too worn out by the
pressure to be liked to fit in,to not mess up.
Today, we're talking about whathappens when you're not just
anxious, you're tired of beingyou Before we dive in in this
(01:45):
podcast is here to support andguide you, but it is not a
replacement for talking tosomeone in real life.
If you're struggling with yourmental health, please reach out
to a therapist, and if you're incrisis, contact emergency
services or a local helpline.
You don't have to go through italone.
Also, if you've been feelingoverwhelmed by anxiety and
(02:07):
you're not sure what to do next,grab the free Anxiety Survival
Toolkit.
It's packed with practicaltools to help you calm your mind
, challenge negative thoughtsand take control in those tough,
tough moments.
Whether it's a schoolpresentation, a social situation
or just one of those days wheneverything feels like too much,
(02:28):
this is the resource you need toget through.
So don't wait, go grab it.
The link is in the show notes.
All right, let's cut throughthe noise and get started.
Here's what most people don'tunderstand about social anxiety.
It's not just nerves, it's notjust shyness.
It's mental exhaustion.
It's about constantly managinghow you might be perceived.
(02:53):
Your brain is constantlyscanning for danger not physical
danger, social danger.
You start rehearsing what yousay before you even show up.
You replay every conversationwhen you get home.
You overanalyze your tone,posture, text messages, silences
.
You question your facialexpressions.
(03:15):
You even wonder if that jokelanded or if everyone thinks
you're awkward.
That level of hyper-awarenessdoesn't just make you anxious,
it makes you tired of yourself.
And when anxiety is loud,self-compassion is usually the
first thing to go.
No wonder you're tired.
You're spending everyinteraction trying to be liked,
(03:38):
accepted or at least notrejected.
And even when nothing goeswrong, you still feel mentally
and emotionally drained.
It's not you, it's the pressureyou're carrying, and you have
turned that exhaustion inward.
Like you are the problem.
And that's when anxiety getseven trickier, because it
(04:00):
whispers things like you shouldjust stay home.
You make things worse.
It's easier for everyone ifyou're not there, so you pull
back, you stop showing up, youstop reaching out, you cancel
plans, not because you don'tcare, but because you care so
much it feels unbearable.
(04:21):
But here's the lie Isolationdoesn't heal anxiety, it feeds
it.
Avoiding people doesn't makeyou safer, it makes you feel
invisible.
And while you're trying todisappear, the people who care
about you are growing moreconfused, more worried and
sometimes even more distant.
Anxiety makes you believe thathiding is protecting everyone,
(04:44):
but it only deepens thedisconnect.
Before we keep going, if this isalready hitting close to home.
I want you to have somethingyou can actually use.
I created the Anxiety SurvivalToolkit to help you when your
mind just won't quiet down.
It's free, it's practical andit's something you can pull in
those moments when anxiety istrying to win.
(05:05):
You'll get 75 quick use tools,emergency reset, self-talk
prompts to challenge negativethoughts and strategies you can
use right in the moment.
Don't wait until everythingfeels heavy.
After this, download it in theshow notes.
Okay, so let's be honest, thevoice in your head probably
(05:26):
isn't kind, it's critical, it'smean, it's relentless.
So let's go over how to rebuildthe relationship you have with
yourself, because that's wherehealing starts.
One, talk to yourself likesomeone you love.
If your best friend said Iembarrassed myself today, would
you respond with you're soawkward or you know you really
(05:50):
did totally fumble.
No, you'd reassure them.
Try doing that to yourself.
Self-kindness activates thesame soothing system in your
brain that responds toconnection and empathy.
The more you can talk toyourself in a kind, caring way,
the easier, and sometimes wefeel like we can't do it for
ourselves, but we can always doit for friends and family.
(06:13):
So put yourself in their shoesInstead of saying, oh my gosh, I
totally messed up.
Ask yourself well, what wouldmy friend blah, blah, blah say?
And I say blah, blah, blah,because you get the idea, put
that in and help yourself.
And for the person feeling likeblah, blah say, and I say blah,
blah, blah, because you get theidea, put that in and help
yourself.
And for the person feeling likewell, what happens if you feel
so alone that you don't have anyfriends?
(06:34):
It doesn't even have to besomeone you know it could be
someone you admire, right?
You could just tell yourselfwhat would this person who I
look up to say in this momentand I'm sure they would try to
motivate you the same way afriend would.
They would tell you that youcan do it, that you can push
forward, that it's okay.
(06:59):
Two name your inner critic andtalk back.
Now, this one, I feel like, ishard for people to really get,
because sometimes it just feelsa little weird to actually name
it, and me personally, I wouldstruggle with this as well.
But it does hold true right.
It changes your anxiety or thatself-critic to not be you.
It gives it and allows it to besomeone else or something else,
(07:20):
and I think that's the power init.
So give your inner critic aname, something that reminds you
that it's not you.
Maybe it's something as sillyas Karen.
I mean, karen is very popularthese days, but it also hits
home, right If we're saying theKaren in me is talking right now
and I need to shut Karen down,right.
(07:43):
I think it would be not onlyfunny but also help to make you
realize like, yeah, I need tochange this narrative.
It adds distance and it helpsyou stop fussing with the
thought.
Try it out.
Three keep a self-compassionjournal Each night.
Jot down one to two momentswhere you showed up, even if
it's small.
It could be I went to schooltoday.
(08:05):
It could be I text a friend.
It could be I tried somethingnew.
It could even be I got up andshowered.
It doesn't matter what it is.
All you're trying to do isbuild a bank of proof that you
are strong, even when your mindtells you otherwise.
And the beauty of this type ofjournaling is that at first it's
, you know, probably smallthings where you feel like, oh
(08:28):
my goodness, this isn't evenworth documenting.
But as you go along, you'regoing to see the change in you
that you're starting torecognize.
Wow, I did a couple of thingsright I helped a friend through
a really tough moment, or Itried out for something that
really scared me, or I completeda paper before it was even due.
You're going to find that thethings that you're writing down
(08:50):
changes because you're now morein tune with yourself and you're
looking to find ways todocument the things that you're
doing and you'll want to do moreso that you have really cool
things that you can look back onand see.
Four use the courage framework,specifically the R.
Respond with self-compassionwhen anxiety strikes.
(09:12):
Don't just react, respond pause.
Say something kind, even ifit's simple.
This is hard, but I'm trying,or I'm overwhelmed but not
broken, or I'm allowed to feelthis way.
This doesn't make me weak.
Self-compassion interrupts thespiral.
It's not about being fake.
(09:34):
It's about refusing to pile onmore pain when you're already
caring enough.
Again, in previous episodes Ihave mentioned changing the
background of your phone tosomething uplifting or something
powerful, because you will lookat that every single day and
see that multiple times a day.
Do something for yourself thatwill highlight it, even if it's
(09:56):
a poster on the wall, a phraseon the wall.
Find something that reallyresonates with you and claim it
as yours that really resonateswith you, and claim it as yours.
And five, normalize being human.
Anxiety tells you like you'rethe only one struggling and
you're really not.
Everyone overthinks sometimes,everyone has insecurities,
(10:21):
everyone has struggles.
You're not broken.
You're human.
Watch your changes when youstop expecting perfection and
start practicing grace,gratitude, forgiveness.
You don't need to be someoneelse to be worthy.
Okay, so now for our courageousmoment.
If you're tired of yourself,try doing one small thing for
(10:45):
yourself today.
Step outside for five minutes.
Call or text someone, even ifyou don't feel like it.
Write down something you likedabout yourself today.
Just choose one and do it.
Do it in the moment.
Don't fight it, even if you'rejust like okay, in this moment,
I'm going to say something niceto myself.
Do it Today, right now,seriously.
(11:08):
Not because it's going tomagically fix everything, but
because action is how you remindyourself that you matter, that
you're worthy of showing up.
For this series isn't aboutfixing yourself.
It's about understandingyourself and finding the courage
to keep showing up.
You don't have to do it alone.
You can stop waging war onyourself.
(11:30):
You can start buildingsomething stronger, something
more powerful in you.
Let's close with this quote byBrianna Wiest.
Okay, I have no idea if Ipronounced that correctly, but
you get it True self-care is notsalt baths and chocolate cake.
It is building a life you don'thave to regularly escape from.
(11:53):
That is so powerful and so true.
You don't need to escape whoyou are.
You just need space to finallybe who you are.
I hope that makes sense.
I hope this resonates.
If this episode helped at all,be sure to like, follow and
share it with someone who needsto hear this as well.
I truly appreciate everyone forlistening.
(12:16):
Thank you so so much.
Until next time, keep movingforward, trust yourself and
never forget you have what ittakes to block out the noise.
it's not just the anxiety anymore.
It's the fact that you're tiredof constantly trying, tired of
wondering how you come across,tired of rehearsing everything
before you say it and replayingit after, tired of feeling like
you can't just exist withoutsecond guessing every little
(00:28):
thing.
And maybe no one knows how badit's gotten, because on the
outside you seem fine, but onthe inside you feel like you're
unraveling.
This episode is for the personwho feels like they've become a
burden to themselves, who's sickof their own overthinking but
doesn't know how to turn it off.
If that's you, stay with me, hi, and welcome back to Block Out
(00:58):
the Noise.
The place where teens and youngadults come to quiet, anxiety,
self-doubt and overthinking.
I'm Jessica Davis, a licensedtherapist, mindset coach and
creator of the Courage Method.
We're in part three of thesocial anxiety series.
Part one was about the fear ofsaying the wrong thing.
(01:20):
Part two was about saying yeswhen fear says no.
But this one, this episode, isfor when you don't want to say
anything at all because you'retoo tired, too worn out by the
pressure to be liked to fit in,to not mess up.
Today, we're talking about whathappens when you're not just
anxious, you're tired of beingyou Before we dive in in this
(01:45):
podcast is here to support andguide you, but it is not a
replacement for talking tosomeone in real life.
If you're struggling with yourmental health, please reach out
to a therapist, and if you're incrisis, contact emergency
services or a local helpline.
You don't have to go through italone.
Also, if you've been feelingoverwhelmed by anxiety and
(02:07):
you're not sure what to do next,grab the free Anxiety Survival
Toolkit.
It's packed with practicaltools to help you calm your mind
, challenge negative thoughtsand take control in those tough,
tough moments.
Whether it's a schoolpresentation, a social situation
or just one of those days wheneverything feels like too much,
(02:28):
this is the resource you need toget through.
So don't wait, go grab it.
The link is in the show notes.
All right, let's cut throughthe noise and get started.
Here's what most people don'tunderstand about social anxiety.
It's not just nerves, it's notjust shyness.
It's mental exhaustion.
It's about constantly managinghow you might be perceived.
(02:53):
Your brain is constantlyscanning for danger not physical
danger, social danger.
You start rehearsing what yousay before you even show up.
You replay every conversationwhen you get home.
You overanalyze your tone,posture, text messages, silences
.
You question your facialexpressions.
(03:15):
You even wonder if that jokelanded or if everyone thinks
you're awkward.
That level of hyper-awarenessdoesn't just make you anxious,
it makes you tired of yourself.
And when anxiety is loud,self-compassion is usually the
first thing to go.
No wonder you're tired.
You're spending everyinteraction trying to be liked,
(03:38):
accepted or at least notrejected.
And even when nothing goeswrong, you still feel mentally
and emotionally drained.
It's not you, it's the pressureyou're carrying, and you have
turned that exhaustion inward.
Like you are the problem.
And that's when anxiety getseven trickier, because it
(04:00):
whispers things like you shouldjust stay home.
You make things worse.
It's easier for everyone ifyou're not there, so you pull
back, you stop showing up, youstop reaching out, you cancel
plans, not because you don'tcare, but because you care so
much it feels unbearable.
(04:21):
But here's the lie Isolationdoesn't heal anxiety, it feeds
it.
Avoiding people doesn't makeyou safer, it makes you feel
invisible.
And while you're trying todisappear, the people who care
about you are growing moreconfused, more worried and
sometimes even more distant.
Anxiety makes you believe thathiding is protecting everyone,
(04:44):
but it only deepens thedisconnect.
Before we keep going, if this isalready hitting close to home.
I want you to have somethingyou can actually use.
I created the Anxiety SurvivalToolkit to help you when your
mind just won't quiet down.
It's free, it's practical andit's something you can pull in
those moments when anxiety istrying to win.
(05:05):
You'll get 75 quick use tools,emergency reset, self-talk
prompts to challenge negativethoughts and strategies you can
use right in the moment.
Don't wait until everythingfeels heavy.
After this, download it in theshow notes.
Okay, so let's be honest, thevoice in your head probably
(05:26):
isn't kind, it's critical, it'smean, it's relentless.
So let's go over how to rebuildthe relationship you have with
yourself, because that's wherehealing starts.
One, talk to yourself likesomeone you love.
If your best friend said Iembarrassed myself today, would
you respond with you're soawkward or you know you really
(05:50):
did totally fumble.
No, you'd reassure them.
Try doing that to yourself.
Self-kindness activates thesame soothing system in your
brain that responds toconnection and empathy.
The more you can talk toyourself in a kind, caring way,
the easier, and sometimes wefeel like we can't do it for
ourselves, but we can always doit for friends and family.
(06:13):
So put yourself in their shoesInstead of saying, oh my gosh, I
totally messed up.
Ask yourself well, what wouldmy friend blah, blah, blah say?
And I say blah, blah, blah,because you get the idea, put
that in and help yourself.
And for the person feeling likeblah, blah say, and I say blah,
blah, blah, because you get theidea, put that in and help
yourself.
And for the person feeling likewell, what happens if you feel
so alone that you don't have anyfriends?
(06:34):
It doesn't even have to besomeone you know it could be
someone you admire, right?
You could just tell yourselfwhat would this person who I
look up to say in this momentand I'm sure they would try to
motivate you the same way afriend would.
They would tell you that youcan do it, that you can push
forward, that it's okay.
(06:59):
Two name your inner critic andtalk back.
Now, this one, I feel like, ishard for people to really get,
because sometimes it just feelsa little weird to actually name
it, and me personally, I wouldstruggle with this as well.
But it does hold true right.
It changes your anxiety or thatself-critic to not be you.
It gives it and allows it to besomeone else or something else,
(07:20):
and I think that's the power init.
So give your inner critic aname, something that reminds you
that it's not you.
Maybe it's something as sillyas Karen.
I mean, karen is very popularthese days, but it also hits
home, right If we're saying theKaren in me is talking right now
and I need to shut Karen down,right.
(07:43):
I think it would be not onlyfunny but also help to make you
realize like, yeah, I need tochange this narrative.
It adds distance and it helpsyou stop fussing with the
thought.
Try it out.
Three keep a self-compassionjournal Each night.
Jot down one to two momentswhere you showed up, even if
it's small.
It could be I went to schooltoday.
(08:05):
It could be I text a friend.
It could be I tried somethingnew.
It could even be I got up andshowered.
It doesn't matter what it is.
All you're trying to do isbuild a bank of proof that you
are strong, even when your mindtells you otherwise.
And the beauty of this type ofjournaling is that at first it's
, you know, probably smallthings where you feel like, oh
(08:28):
my goodness, this isn't evenworth documenting.
But as you go along, you'regoing to see the change in you
that you're starting torecognize.
Wow, I did a couple of thingsright I helped a friend through
a really tough moment, or Itried out for something that
really scared me, or I completeda paper before it was even due.
You're going to find that thethings that you're writing down
(08:50):
changes because you're now morein tune with yourself and you're
looking to find ways todocument the things that you're
doing and you'll want to do moreso that you have really cool
things that you can look back onand see.
Four use the courage framework,specifically the R.
Respond with self-compassionwhen anxiety strikes.
(09:12):
Don't just react, respond pause.
Say something kind, even ifit's simple.
This is hard, but I'm trying,or I'm overwhelmed but not
broken, or I'm allowed to feelthis way.
This doesn't make me weak.
Self-compassion interrupts thespiral.
It's not about being fake.
(09:34):
It's about refusing to pile onmore pain when you're already
caring enough.
Again, in previous episodes Ihave mentioned changing the
background of your phone tosomething uplifting or something
powerful, because you will lookat that every single day and
see that multiple times a day.
Do something for yourself thatwill highlight it, even if it's
(09:56):
a poster on the wall, a phraseon the wall.
Find something that reallyresonates with you and claim it
as yours that really resonateswith you, and claim it as yours.
And five, normalize being human.
Anxiety tells you like you'rethe only one struggling and
you're really not.
Everyone overthinks sometimes,everyone has insecurities,
(10:21):
everyone has struggles.
You're not broken.
You're human.
Watch your changes when youstop expecting perfection and
start practicing grace,gratitude, forgiveness.
You don't need to be someoneelse to be worthy.
Okay, so now for our courageousmoment.
If you're tired of yourself,try doing one small thing for
(10:45):
yourself today.
Step outside for five minutes.
Call or text someone, even ifyou don't feel like it.
Write down something you likedabout yourself today.
Just choose one and do it.
Do it in the moment.
Don't fight it, even if you'rejust like okay, in this moment,
I'm going to say something niceto myself.
Do it Today, right now,seriously.
(11:08):
Not because it's going tomagically fix everything, but
because action is how you remindyourself that you matter, that
you're worthy of showing up.
For this series isn't aboutfixing yourself.
It's about understandingyourself and finding the courage
to keep showing up.
You don't have to do it alone.
You can stop waging war onyourself.
(11:30):
You can start buildingsomething stronger, something
more powerful in you.
Let's close with this quote byBrianna Wiest.
Okay, I have no idea if Ipronounced that correctly, but
you get it True self-care is notsalt baths and chocolate cake.
It is building a life you don'thave to regularly escape from.
(11:53):
That is so powerful and so true.
You don't need to escape whoyou are.
You just need space to finallybe who you are.
I hope that makes sense.
I hope this resonates.
If this episode helped at all,be sure to like, follow and
share it with someone who needsto hear this as well.
I truly appreciate everyone forlistening.
(12:16):
Thank you so so much.
Until next time, keep movingforward, trust yourself and
never forget you have what ittakes to block out the noise.
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