20 | 21 Things I Wish I Could Tell Every Teen With Anxiety (1–6)

Have you ever felt like no one sees how hard you're trying?

Like behind the good grades, the smiles, or the “I’m fine”… you're carrying a storm of anxiety that no one else notices?

In this episode of Block Out the Noise, Jessica Davis (licensed therapist and creator of the C.O.U.R.A.G.E. Method) shares the first 6 of 21 life-changing lessons every anxious teen needs to hear.

These aren’t fluffy quotes or empty advice. They’re real reminders—honest, heartfelt truths that anxious teens often never hear but absolutely need to.

✨ These first six lessons will help you:

• Stop believing every anxious thought
• Push through fear even when you feel stuck
• Redefine success in a way that actually builds confidence
• Let go of the pressure to control everything
• Understand what balance really looks like
• And realize you’re not lazy—you’re overwhelmed (and there’s a way out)

This episode is like a mirror and a pep talk rolled into one—meant to meet you right where you are, no judgment, just truth and support.

🎯 Your Courageous Moment Challenge:
Pick just ONE of the six lessons shared today.
Try it—not for anyone else, but for you.

Got a question or feedback? Text us and share your thoughts—we’d love to hear from you!

RESOURCES:
Get your FREE Anxiety Survival Toolkit to help you when your anxiety is overwhelming!

Grab your FREE 90-Day Courage Challenge Cheat Sheet and start building confidence today.

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🎙️ Presented by Davis-Smith Mental Health

This podcast was created by Davis-Smith Mental Health, offering counseling for teens & young adults in Illinois (only). We accept BCBS PPO, Aetna PPO, and self-pay clients.

⚠️ Disclaimer: Block Out the Noise provides personal insights and practical strategies to help manage anxiety and self-doubt. The content is intended for educational and informational purposes only and should not be used as a substitute for professional mental health care, advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a crisis or need immediate assistance, please contact emergency services or a trusted mental health professional immediately.

Episode Transcript

Jessica Davis (00:07):
If only you knew how many anxious teens have
changed my life as a therapist,you would never question if you
were a burden again.
They are some of the mostcompassionate, brilliant, caring
people I have ever met.
But the world might not see itbecause anxiety locks it away.
These are 21 life lessons thatanxious teens should carry with

(00:30):
them not to change who they are,but to become who they've
always been and what the worldreally needs more than ever.
Hi and welcome back to BlockOut the Noise, the go-to podcast

(00:54):
for teens and young adults whoare ready to quiet anxiety,
self-doubt and overthinking.
I'm your host, jessica Davis, alicensed therapist, mindset
coach and the creator of theCourage Method, a signature
framework designed to help youtake control over your thoughts,
trust yourself and buildconfidence in the face of fear.
Before we dive in, this podcastis here to support and guide

(01:15):
you, but it is not a replacementfor talking to someone in real
life.
If you're struggling with yourmental health, please reach out
to a therapist, and if you're incrisis, contact emergency
services or a local helpline.
You don't have to go through italone.
All right, let's cut throughthe noise and get started.
One anxiety lies.
Don't believe everything youthink I know your anxiety and

(01:40):
the intrusive thoughts and thenegative thoughts can feel as if
they are real, as if it wastrue statement made from anyone,
and it's easy to believe.
It's easy to get caught up init and feel as if gosh, if it's
this strong, if the feeling isthis powerful that it has to be
true.
But that's what anxiety does.
It feeds off of your fears andmakes it feel as if it's so 100%

(02:04):
accurate that there's no otheroption, that that has to be true
.
But it's lies.
I personally feel thatsometimes anxiety is a way of
our brains trying to help us.
It just doesn't know how yourbrain thinks that it's preparing
you.
It thinks that if it goesthrough all these worst case
scenarios, that somehow you'llfeel more capable, more able to

(02:26):
handle whatever comes your way.
But the reality is right.
Oftentimes it goes so far offthat you feel so overwhelmed,
you're stuck, you feel as if youcan't move, you can't breathe,
you can't think.
This is when fighting back iscrucial.
It's when you start to tellyourself no, this is lies.
This is when you say I don'tneed you to protect me.

(02:52):
In this way I can handle it.
And the more you start to fightback those anxious thoughts,
fight back those lies.
Your brain starts to realize oh, you do got it and I don't need
to go into this overdrive toprotect you.
Two start scared.
You still grow.
Sometimes we're waiting forourselves to feel this comfort,
this confidence to actuallystart something.
But if we wait for that moment,that time, we might be waiting

(03:16):
a lifetime.
Start scared.
Start when the fear is there.
There will be moments in lifewhere you will be so scared that
you feel like you're going tothrow up or you feel as if
you're not going to make itthrough.
But those are the moments, inall honesty, when people look
back on their life, they feellike those were defining moments
.
Those are the times when theyfelt as if life started to make

(03:40):
sense or they unlocked a pieceof themselves that they didn't
even know was possible theconfidence, the comfort, the
ability to know I got through areally difficult situation that
I didn't even think I could do.
I'm challenging you to takethat fear, harness it and do it
anyway.
Do it.
Do it scared.

(04:00):
The fear doesn't disappear bythinking, but it does soften
with doing In life.
I do believe that withoutdiscomfort you can't find what
you want.
You have to go through the pain, the grit, the difficulty to
know in yourself that you can doit.
We will have to feel the fear,push through it anyway to get to

(04:22):
the other side, to get throughto growing, to learning, to
pushing ourselves outside of ourcomfort zone, to finding our
voice, to harnessing our power.
All of these incredible thingshappen when we feel the fear and
we do it anyway.
Three trying is winning.
One of my favorites Redefineyour definition of success.

(04:45):
It is not the result, it is theeffort, it is not the
destination, it is the journey.
And I think a lot of peoplestruggle with this because we
think that well, even if I triedand I didn't do well, then it
doesn't matter.
But no, it does.
When you try something and youdo it, that just builds up

(05:08):
yourself, it builds up character, it builds up trust within who
you are and your belief inyourself.
So when you start to realizethat actually, success isn't
about the result, it isn't aboutthe money, it isn't about the
job, it's about how I, you, howyou got there, that's the key

(05:31):
right, because no one else cango through your journey, no one
else gets that opportunity, noone else knows your struggle.
So when you struggle and youcount every action as trying and
you count that as winning, thatwill exponentially lead you to
success.
Because the difference is whenyou try and you know you're

(05:53):
trying and that's a win, you'reable to handle adversity so much
differently.
You're able to handle adversityin a way that maybe others
aren't, because you have thisbelief that, no matter what, I'm
coming out ahead, no matterwhat I'm winning, and that's a
beautiful thing.
We only fail if we stop trying.

(06:15):
So keep trying, try today, trytomorrow, and if today didn't
work, there's tomorrow, and iftomorrow doesn't happen, the
next day.
Just keep pushing yourself totry.
You have to start somewhere.
Somewhere is day one.
When is it going to be day onefor you?

(06:36):
Many anxious teens don't trybecause they're afraid that it
won't be perfect enough.
They feel like it has to beeither nothing or everything.
And that leads to a mindsettrap, because then you're
literally stuck.
You're not able to put yourselfout there, you're not able to
try new things.
You're not able to stumble,because stumbling is, for

(07:00):
whatever reason, looked at as anegative.
I stumble all the time, in fact.
Funny story I stumbled down thesteps in front of the men's
volleyball team in college.
We all stumble, we all fall inour own ways, and it's how you
handle that fall.
Did I get back up?
Yes, did it take me a minute?

(07:20):
Absolutely, but I'm here,stumbling still, but pushing
through.
Four.
Control is a distraction frompeace.
It feels as if we have controlover things.
Then somehow we will be moreprepared Again, a protective
mechanism.
But the harder you grip life,the more fragile it feels.

(07:43):
The more you try to hold on tothings and take control over
stuff, the more it feels as ifyour world is confined to a
small space.
In fact, it feels as if you'recaged.
I had a client who shared thisincredible metaphor.
I think it's a metaphor I don'tknow I really need to take an

(08:04):
English class but she said thatthe anxiety was so bad it felt
as if they had made a prison oftheir own doing.
And it is so true, becausesometimes we think that if we
have control, that we'reprotecting and we're saving
ourselves, but there's no peacein that.

(08:24):
We're caged and the sad part iswe put ourselves in that cage.
We have the power to setourselves free the things that
we are unable to prevent.
We have to find a way ofletting go, because once we let
go, we actually find peace, weactually find clarity, we
actually are able to enjoy lifemore.

(08:45):
Five balance is the real flex.
Yeah, it didn't sound good evenas I said it.
Balance is really important.
That's more my generation.
Yeah, basically, though, rightbalance is key, and so often we
get into these extremes, andteens love to do the most on a
lot of different things, and sothe goal is to learn how to find

(09:09):
balance, because spending everysingle waking moment with your
boyfriend or girlfriend orpartner, whoever, whomever that
doesn't lead to you feelingbetter about yourself.
It often makes you feel likeyou're incapable.
When you're spending all thistime with someone, you start to
feel as if you can't do anythingwithout them.
An extreme or going to the gymall the time trying to buff up

(09:33):
and get strong, and you're doingit so much that you're
literally killing your body inorder to chase some type of view
of what appearance or what lookyou're trying to have to please
usually not even yourself, butto please others.
Extreme or not eating, and Iwasn't sure I wanted to go there

(09:54):
, but there's so many teens witheating issues and eating
problems that it really doesneed to be addressed with eating
issues and eating problems thatit really does need to be
addressed.
Not eating is not healthy andis an extreme way of hurting
your body.
Long term and I think any adultwill tell you the goal in life,
besides pursuing your dreams, isliving as long as you can.
I mean, the longer you are hereon Earth, the more

(10:18):
opportunities you have to dothings, to change people, to
pursue your passions, to havehobbies, to fall in love, to
just do whatever it is that youwant to do.
But if you're a teen and you'rekilling your body by not eating
and chasing after some idea orconcept of what beauty is,
you're hurting yourself in thelong run.
Take steps to be healthy, yes,but real healthiness is finding

(10:44):
balance.
Teach yourself to listen to yourbody, and that's the hard part
with anxiety is that sometimesyou feel as if your messages
that your body is sending arewrong and so you don't listen to
them, and it makes it hard toknow what is right for you and
what isn't right for you.
But the more you stay in tunewith yourself, the better you

(11:04):
get at listening to what yourbody is telling yourself.
The stomach aches, the pains,the intrusive thoughts.
It's all there, it's alldesigned to try and send you a
message.
Regardless of the brain'sintention, it's trying to tell
ourselves hey, I'm not feelinggood, listen to this.
Or hey, you know, I'm reallyworried about this situation and

(11:25):
so I'm trying to work it out.
But I don't have the answersand you're not finding the
answers, so help me to find them.
They're just signals that yourbody and brain are trying to
send you so that you can takeaction.
But usually what happens when wehave anxiety is we do inaction,
we pause, we freeze, we don'tdo anything, and then that
becomes a pattern and habit thatour brains feel like okay, this

(11:46):
is the norm, this is how we'resupposed to respond in these
kinds of situations.
But balance truly is key,because once you unlock that
balance, you start to recognizelike, oh, you know, when I'm
feeling this way, it's my body'sway of saying, hey, you haven't
eaten in a while and you needto eat.
Or hey, you know what?
You're feeling this way becauseyou really like this person and
you're afraid of messing up.

(12:07):
Okay, I can handle that, I cantake a deep breath and keep
moving forward.
Six, you're not lazy, You'reoverwhelmed.
And we've all been there.
I think oftentimes we getoverwhelmed and we have no clue
what to do and so we freeze.
I know it's a common theme inthis message, but we do.
We're mentally exhausted, wehave this fear of failure and we

(12:31):
have overanalyzed things somuch that we're not doing
anything.
I've heard so many teens saythis, that they're lazy, and
it's like, no, that's not evenan accurate picture.
You're not lazy, you areoverwhelmed.
And so when that feelinghappens, when you feel
overwhelmed, you have to startto break things down.
I have been guilty of beingoverwhelmed.
I love a good project, I love amassive project and honestly, I

(12:56):
love multiple massive projectsall going at the same time,
which really isn't good.
But I love projects and so Iknow when I'm feeling
overwhelmed I start to just sayI need a break and I don't do
anything except watch my TVshows, love Ginny and Georgia
and I can't wait for the summerI turned pretty last season and

(13:16):
Stranger Things and Outer Banks,and I love Law Order.
I pretty much will watchanything.
A good cooking show, it doesn'tmatter, I will get lost in TV.
But the point is I know whenI'm excessively watching TV.
That's my body's way of sayingyou are overwhelmed and I need
to just sit down, write down mylist a good brain dump.

(13:38):
Take everything that's in mybrain, put it onto paper and
then slowly start to break itout into small, actionable steps
.
So, for instance, if your roomis a wreck which most teens
their room is horrid and itcould feel like such a major,
massive undertaking start small.
You know what All I'm going todo today is pick up all the

(13:59):
clothes off the floor or decideto take all the food, like the
utensils and the plates or the25 water bottles that you have
laying around.
Actually, I take that back withthe water bottles because you
teens love your Stanleys.
You love a good water bottlethat is reusable.
Hats off for you to being thatgeneration that is actively

(14:19):
taking steps to recycle, reduceand reuse.
But pick up the stuff.
Just start with one action, oneitem, and focus in on that.
If it's clothes, if it's food,if it's papers, just pick one
thing and you'll find that it'smuch easier to do that task and
then you'll get that momentumthat you need to go to the next
and the next and the next.

(14:40):
Okay, so this ended up beinglonger than I expected, but
honestly, that just shows howimportant this is.
I don't want to rush throughthese.
I want you to actually takethem in, so I'm going to break
this up into parts, because thisisn't about dumping all 21
lessons at you all at once.
It's about giving you space toreflect, to take what you need

(15:01):
and to feel less alone in theprocess.
Your courageous moment fortoday pick one of the six
lessons.
We went over Just one.
Try it, not to prove anything,not to impress anyone.
Do it for you, because that'swhere real change starts.
And if this episode gave youanything hope, clarity, a

(15:23):
feeling that you're not the onlyone, send it to someone who
might need that reminder too.
Let's keep this message moving.
Also, don't forget to downloadthe Anxiety Survival Toolkit.
It's free and it's packed withthe exact kind of tools that
help you in those moments whenanxiety feels too loud to handle
alone.
You'll find the link in theshow notes.

(15:44):
Thank you so much for listening.
Until next time, keep movingforward, trust yourself and
never forget you have what ittakes to block out the noise.