July 21, 2025 • 20 mins
Some truths are too powerful to rush.
This is part two of our 3-part series on the 21 things every anxious teen needs to hear—and these next seven go deep.
In this episode, Jessica Davis (licensed therapist + creator of the C.O.U.R.A.G.E. Method) shares the powerful truths anxious teens often don’t hear enough—truths about giving too much, struggling to make decisions, fearing you're behind, and waiting for motivation that never comes.
Whether you’ve been ghosted, ghosted someone else, or just feel like you’re behind in life—this episode helps you press pause, reflect, and reset with honesty and self-compassion.
What You’ll Learn:
- Why over-giving leads to burnout—and what real friendship looks like
- How to set boundaries and stop letting the wrong people take up space
- The power of making decisions for yourself (even if they’re messy)
- Why motivation isn’t magic—it’s momentum
- How to reframe the fear of being “behind”
- The importance of connecting in real life, not just online
- Why tough conversations are better than ghosting
Got a question or feedback? Text us and share your thoughts—we’d love to hear from you!
RESOURCES:
Get your FREE Anxiety Survival Toolkit to help you when your anxiety is overwhelming!
Grab your FREE 90-Day Courage Challenge Cheat Sheet and start building confidence today.
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🎙️ Presented by Davis-Smith Mental Health
This podcast was created by Davis-Smith Mental Health, offering counseling for teens & young adults in Illinois (only). We accept BCBS PPO, Aetna PPO, and self-pay clients.
⚠️ Disclaimer: Block Out the Noise provides personal insights and practical strategies to help manage anxiety and self-doubt. The content is intended for educational and informational purposes only and should not be used as a substitute for professional mental health care, advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a crisis or need immediate assistance, please contact emergency services or a trusted mental health professional immediately.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jessica Davis (00:07):
Some truths are just too powerful to rush, and
these next seven?
They've come straight fromworking with teens who've lived
it, who faced anxiety head onand still showed up.
If you've ever felt like yougive too much care, too deeply
or forget yourself while tryingto keep everyone else happy,
these lessons are for you, hi,and welcome back to Block Out
(00:37):
the Noise.
The go-to podcast for teens andyoung adults who are ready to
quiet anxiety, self-doubt andoverthinking.
I'm your host, jessica Davis, alicensed therapist, mindset
coach and the creator of theCourage Method.
This series is personal, honestand packed with truth.
If you haven't already listenedto part one, lessons one
(00:58):
through six, I highly recommendstarting there.
But regardless of where youbegin, I highly recommend
starting there.
But regardless of where youbegin, each episode stands
strong on its own.
Also, if you find that youranxiety is taking over your life
, please download the AnxietySurvival Toolkit.
It is packed with tools andtips and audio messages that can
help you take control.
(01:20):
Go, download it, it's free.
In the show notes and just aquick reminder this podcast is
here to support and guide you,but it's not a replacement for
talking to someone in real life.
If you're struggling with yourmental health.
Please reach out to a therapistand if you're in crisis,
contact emergency services or alocal helpline.
(01:40):
You don't have to go through italone.
All right, let's cut throughthe noise and get started.
Seven pour into yourself likeyou pour into others.
Many anxious teens are givers.
You guys give and give and give, which is one of the beautiful
qualities about you, but also itleads to this over-functioning
in relationships.
(02:00):
You give so much that you havenothing left for yourself and
then you are upset oftentimeswhen you feel like you don't get
the same level of care back.
But that's why I challenge youto pour into yourself, because
ultimately, people won't maybegive you back what you're giving
, and I don't really believeit's a negative.
I think everyone comes withdifferent strengths and
(02:21):
weaknesses.
I think there are people whowill naturally be the friend who
always reaches out, and therewill also be people who are the
friend that never reach out, butare always happy to be there
when you do, and who will have agreat time with you or will
uplift you and motivate you.
But they won't do that withoutyou reaching out.
But the key is pour intoyourself.
When you pour into yourself,that way, you won't feel regret
(02:46):
pour into yourself.
When you pour into yourselfthat way, you won't feel regret,
you won't feel as if you'rebeing taken advantage of,
because you'll be caring foryourself the way that you want
others to care for you, and soyou won't be feeling like you're
missing out on something.
And I just want to preface thisit is not selfish to care for
yourself.
I think somewhere along the waythis generation has this view or
mindset that I have to be therefor my friends all the time,
(03:06):
day in, day out, literallystaying up till three o'clock,
four o'clock in the morning,just to provide support to your
friend who's struggling, and atthe cost of your own ability to
manage cope.
That's not a good friend, right?
Because ultimately that friendbelieves you're doing this
because you care and you want to, but you have a battery,
(03:27):
sometimes you're on E, sometimesyou need a break and you need
to be able to communicate thatGood friendship is letting that
friend know Good friendshipmeans I can communicate that
boundary, but I can say, hey, Ihave a test the next day.
I can't stay up all night onthe phone with you.
Hey, I am honestly working onmy sleep schedule and so I know
(03:49):
we talk most nights, but Ireally have changes for myself
and I think somewhere along theway, it became one of those
things where you wereresponsible as a team for your
friend's wellbeing and mentalhealth, and that's just not the
case.
Everyone is responsible fortheir own mental health, their
own care for themselves, and ifyour friend is really struggling
(04:09):
, do a challenge, say, hey, I'mgonna be working on this for
myself.
What are you gonna be workingon for you, for yourself?
But pour life into yourself,give you what you need and don't
feel ashamed or embarrassed orselfish for taking time to love
yourself, for taking time foryourself, for taking time to
(04:30):
pour into what you've created,to taking time to be what you
need for you, so that you can goout to the world and present
how you want to be, and for youto feel loved and cared for and
respected.
You need that and no one elsegets to take that time.
Eight, not everyone has earned aseat in your life.
(04:51):
Yes, so, so, so true.
I'm laughing at this because somany teens and young adults,
you guys, keep people in yourlife who are not helpful, who
are honestly rude, disrespectful, mean, and you keep them in
your life as if they deserve tohave a seat with you.
(05:11):
You get to respect your time,your energy and not everyone
gets access to you.
Not everyone deserves access toyou, and there's nothing wrong
with setting boundaries Again.
Your generation reallystruggles with setting
boundaries.
In general, you guys feel as ifit's wrong or I'll hurt their
feelings.
And yet your feelings get hurtall the time and you're supposed
(05:33):
to manage and cope with that.
But, god forbid, someone elsehas to do the same.
Stop letting people who arehurting you have so much control
and access in your life.
Boundaries protect connection.
Boundaries help conserve yourenergy, your time.
Not everyone deserves that typeof access and when you start
(05:54):
removing people who areunhealthy, people who are not
helping you grow, you're goingto find yourself feeling better
about yourself, you are going tofeel stronger, you are going to
feel more comfortable and, ofcourse, it will take time, but
you will feel as if you havemore energy.
(06:15):
Nine, stop outsourcing yourpower.
There is so much power inmaking decisions for yourself
and when you are anxious,sometimes you think that you
need approval or you needvalidation or you need someone
to tell you that you're on theright track, and you don't
realize it, but you're givingyour power away, because making
(06:36):
decisions for yourself, trustingyour own instincts, deciding
what direction to go in, givesyou a sense of control, gives
you the control that you reallyshould have in life, which is
making decisions, making choices.
When you outsource that power,it makes you feel insecure.
It makes you feel as if youdon't know which direction to go
(06:57):
.
It makes you feel like you haveto have someone always with you
before you can decide something.
Always with you before you candecide something.
There is so much power in choice.
Make them.
Make them and have regret.
Make them and feel as if it wasthe wrong direction.
Make them for you and no oneelse, because you will find that
when you start to make moredecisions without asking other
(07:19):
people, you will feel moreconfident, more comfortable.
You'll feel as if you'reengaging in the world
differently because they're yourchoices, and then you won't be
upset about the choices you madeand be like I didn't even want
to make it, I don't even knowwhy.
I listened to them.
That's what I'm saying.
Stop listening to them.
Make your own choices.
Of course, there's nothingwrong with taking and getting
(07:41):
advice from people, but takeenough advice for you.
Still.
Make your own decision, yourown educated choice on what you
want to do.
And I'll be honest sometimes wemake choices that we know
aren't going to work out thebest.
That's a part of growing,that's a part of learning.
Make those make the decisionsthat you can live with no one
else, because ultimately, at theend of the day, it is you that
(08:04):
has to live with them.
So why make a decision forsomeone else?
Why let someone else make adecision for you that you will
have to live with?
So stop outsourcing your power.
10 motivation isn't magic, it'smomentum.
Waiting for motivation oftenleads to procrastination.
We all think that if we justwait for the right feeling, the
(08:27):
feeling is going to come andI'll feel like cleaning my room,
or, gosh, I'll just wait till Ifeel like working on this paper
, or I'll just wait till I feellike getting out of bed.
And sometimes that feeling justwon't come and by the time it
does, it's gone.
We don't even really know whatwe're wanting to work on anymore
, because we're like oh, I feela little bit motivated, but now
(08:48):
what direction do I go in?
Where do I head?
Stop waiting.
Action creates momentum.
Action actually createsmotivation.
As a kid, you're like oh, Ijust ran around and I did all
the things that I wanted to doand I played the sports and I
drew all day and I wrote.
And it's like no, you tookaction, you acted upon the
things that you loved and atsome point we just forgot what
(09:11):
it felt like to put in the work.
We didn't believe we had to putin the work to feel that
motivation, because, as a kid,it doesn't feel like work, it
feels like just enjoying yourtime.
But now you're getting olderand now the real truth sets in
that the feeling isn't going tobe there.
I have to do the work and thenthe motivation will come.
So, instead of waiting, just do.
(09:33):
And if you're struggling withthis, set a timer.
Set yourself up for fiveminutes and say I'm just going
to work on this for five minutesand see where I get.
Or if that's not going to work,hey, you know what?
The first time the alarm goesoff, I'm just going to put my
feet on the ground, or I'm justgoing to get in the shower.
Tell yourself what you're goingto do and then actively do it,
because the more you actively doit, the more your brain trusts
(09:56):
you got it and the less youranxiety will be, because it
realizes you got it and in somesituations, done is better than
perfect, right?
If I decided to take all thesebig projects that I have and
focus in on it being perfect, Iwouldn't be here.
I surely wouldn't be doing thistoday.
I wouldn't be talking to youand be pushing myself to get my
(10:19):
message out there that I feellike teens need.
Before we keep going, I want toshare something with you.
If you've ever felt stuck withyour anxious thoughts,
overwhelmed by daily life,there's a free resource that can
help.
It's called the AnxietySurvival Toolkit.
It is packed with simple toolsto help you calm your mind, gain
clarity and move forward.
(10:39):
And the best part, it's freeand it's packed with coping
skills, courage, calls andemergency reset things that you
can use in the moment.
Go grab it for free in the shownotes and take that first step
toward feeling more in control.
Now let's get back to it 11.
It's not too late.
You're not far behind.
(10:59):
I think this generation whenyou see so many people online
doing things that it makes youfeel like you're behind that
everyone's life is much biggerand better than yours, but
you're not.
You run your own race, no oneelse's.
You're on your own clock.
There are so many people whohave found their purpose later
in life there's countless ofthem that I wouldn't even be
(11:21):
able to go over all of them.
There's some who decided toswitch college, switch majors,
start YouTube in their 50s, joina band later on in life, decide
to do an acting career.
There is no timeline on whenyou decide to start or find your
passion, your purpose, and Ireally believe, as a team, your
(11:44):
only job is to just focus in onbuilding a better you that is
worth spending time and energyon.
So if you're feeling behind, ifyou're feeling as if everyone's
life is moving forward, set agoal for yourself.
How can I be 1% better than Iwas yesterday?
Focus in on just trying to makeimprovements slowly but surely.
(12:06):
It won't matter what directionyour career is or your life is.
You'll feel as though you're abetter human being for it, and I
think that's really importantin life.
12, be seen in real life, notjust online.
I know that, with the worldthat we live in today, a lot of
people are going to be meetingpeople online.
Dating is now kind of one ofthose things where majority of
(12:28):
people are doing it online, butthere is so much to be said
about trying to connect in reallife, and the more we have those
connections in real life, themore we feel grounded, the more
we feel alive and, honestly, theless depression we experience,
the less anxiety we experience,because now we have something to
pull from.
(12:48):
Sometimes our anxiety isfeeding off of just the fact
that we have not done it.
We have not tried it.
So if you're afraid to go to aparty, face the fear and do it.
Don't spend your time talkingto people online about oh,
there's this party that I wish Iwould have gone to or I got
invited to this party, but I'mhere with you guys.
No, that's not the goal.
(13:10):
I'm all for some online friends.
I think they can help youpractice on communication, as
long as you do it safely and youhave boundaries set and you're
protecting yourself.
I think online friends aregreat, but there is a real
importance for connection.
There's a real need for you toget out of the house, off of the
video games, out in front ofthe TV, off of Discord, off of
(13:33):
TikTok, and live your life.
Live it.
Another creator said I don'tremember his name, sorry, but
you're already creating memories, make them ones that you want
to look back at.
So, yeah, go out and live.
13.
Alone doesn't mean lonely.
Being alone builds strength,and I know sometimes it can feel
(13:58):
as if, especially for teens andyoung adults if you feel alone,
then you are lonely.
But I really believe in life,if you can't be alone, then you
will really struggle withfinding your people, because
sometimes in life you will bealone.
Sometimes it will just be thatyou're not met for the people
(14:18):
that you're with, and especiallyteens, because I feel like
you're limited to the people whoare at your school.
Some kids might have 50 kids intheir class, 50 kids within
their whole entire school system, and some people may be packed
with thousands of kidssurrounded by them, but they're
just all based off of geography.
They're not based off of yourdesires, your passions, your
(14:41):
personality type, your maturitylevel.
None of those things are addedin.
So sometimes you have to bealone and be comfortable being
alone, so that you can find andbe true to who you are and not
feel as if you've changed yourvalues, your character, to meet
the people who are around youwho, in all honesty, you won't
want to talk to five, 10 yearsfrom now.
(15:03):
So why not focus in on yourself, focusing on growing into who
you want to be instead of beingwhat you think that they expect
you to be?
So, yes, if you're that kidwho's sitting on your own and
you feel as if no one sees you,you are seen and you will be
seen, but maybe these aren't thekids who are ready to see you.
(15:24):
And don't feel bad about whoyou are because of that.
Sit there, take your earbud inand enjoy your meal, do your
work and keep grinding until youfind the right people.
But the key here and all ofthis is until you love yourself,
you'll always depend on someoneelse.
(15:44):
Tough conversations is betterthan ghosting.
I know that this generationfeels like I don't owe you a
response, and is that true To acertain extent?
Yes, you don't owe anyoneanything.
But in terms of growth, interms of learning, it is so nice
when people tell you what youneed to change.
If you have a friend thatyou've been spending time with
and all of a sudden, they'redoing things that you don't like
(16:06):
and you don't communicate it tothem, and all of a sudden
you're gone, that friend doesn'tlearn how to develop.
They don't learn how to bebetter.
All they learned is that you'rea horrible friend and they
wouldn't be wrong on thatassessment.
Having tough conversationsmakes you stronger.
It develops who you are.
If I can tell someone who'sasked me out on a date, I'm just
(16:29):
not interested for blah, blah,blah reason, at least that
person now knows, instead ofplaying the question game of
what did I do wrong?
Did I say the wrong thing?
Did I have bad breath?
Did I do something?
And maybe they did do thosethings.
And I'm not saying you have to100% share every detail, but you
could say, hey, these arethings that made me not feel
(16:51):
comfortable and that's on themto decide how they handle that.
Right, it's not your job tomanage their feelings, but I do
think we owe it to each other tostart sharing things that may
be hard to hear but arenecessary for all of us to grow.
Because right now I feel likethere's just a generation of
people just not knowing whatthey're doing wrong and there's
(17:13):
no information for them to fixit.
There's nothing for them topull upon because no one is
telling them.
They're just getting ghostedinstead of learning.
But so now we have a wholegroup of people, anxious people,
people who are insecure andthere's no data, no information
for them to develop into betteryoung adults, better human
(17:35):
beings, better people in general.
And I think that's why a lot ofpeople are carrying such anger
and animosity, especially in thedating world these days,
because there's nothing for themto get to improve on.
And if you think about one areaeveryone wants to improve on
dating, most people want toimprove on being a better
(17:56):
partner, having a partner andthey can't do that without that
information partner having apartner and they can't do that
without that information.
The same thing withrelationships in general.
If someone had a friend thatthey really cared about and they
just ended up ghosting them andthey didn't know why, there's
nothing for them to help thembecome a better friend.
So have those toughconversations, push yourself to
have them.
(18:17):
If you really want to have goodfriends and a partner in life
at some point you're going tohave to get comfortable with
hard conversations.
You have to be able to sharewhat you're thinking and feeling
and give people the opportunityto fix it.
And there's a different storyof once you've given them that
opportunity and they're notchanging it and they're not
respecting the boundaries thatyou're setting.
(18:38):
That's a different lesson andthat's a different situation.
That's when you do number eight.
Not everyone deserves a seat inyour life, right, because
they're not respecting you.
But in this situation, yeah,share what you're thinking,
share how you're feeling, sothat you can actually have the
friendships that you want andthe friendships that you deserve
.
We're going to pause herebecause I don't want these
(19:00):
lessons to just pass by.
I want them to land to matter,to be something you carry your
courageous moment.
This week.
Pick one of the lessons that wewent over today that tugged at
your heart and give it a shot,just for you, not anyone else.
If this episode helps you feelseen, heard or supported, please
(19:22):
like it and share it withsomeone who might need it too.
And don't forget, grab yourfree anxiety survival toolkit.
It's linked in the show notesand it's packed with real tools
for when life gets heavy.
If you thought today's lessonswere helpful, the next video
picks up right where we left off.
You're not going to want tomiss the final seven that's
(19:42):
released next Monday.
Thank you again so much forlistening.
Until next time, keep movingforward, trust yourself and
never forget you have what ittakes to block out the noise.
Some truths are just too powerful to rush, and
these next seven?
They've come straight fromworking with teens who've lived
it, who faced anxiety head onand still showed up.
If you've ever felt like yougive too much care, too deeply
or forget yourself while tryingto keep everyone else happy,
these lessons are for you, hi,and welcome back to Block Out
(00:37):
the Noise.
The go-to podcast for teens andyoung adults who are ready to
quiet anxiety, self-doubt andoverthinking.
I'm your host, jessica Davis, alicensed therapist, mindset
coach and the creator of theCourage Method.
This series is personal, honestand packed with truth.
If you haven't already listenedto part one, lessons one
(00:58):
through six, I highly recommendstarting there.
But regardless of where youbegin, I highly recommend
starting there.
But regardless of where youbegin, each episode stands
strong on its own.
Also, if you find that youranxiety is taking over your life
, please download the AnxietySurvival Toolkit.
It is packed with tools andtips and audio messages that can
help you take control.
(01:20):
Go, download it, it's free.
In the show notes and just aquick reminder this podcast is
here to support and guide you,but it's not a replacement for
talking to someone in real life.
If you're struggling with yourmental health.
Please reach out to a therapistand if you're in crisis,
contact emergency services or alocal helpline.
(01:40):
You don't have to go through italone.
All right, let's cut throughthe noise and get started.
Seven pour into yourself likeyou pour into others.
Many anxious teens are givers.
You guys give and give and give, which is one of the beautiful
qualities about you, but also itleads to this over-functioning
in relationships.
(02:00):
You give so much that you havenothing left for yourself and
then you are upset oftentimeswhen you feel like you don't get
the same level of care back.
But that's why I challenge youto pour into yourself, because
ultimately, people won't maybegive you back what you're giving
, and I don't really believeit's a negative.
I think everyone comes withdifferent strengths and
(02:21):
weaknesses.
I think there are people whowill naturally be the friend who
always reaches out, and therewill also be people who are the
friend that never reach out, butare always happy to be there
when you do, and who will have agreat time with you or will
uplift you and motivate you.
But they won't do that withoutyou reaching out.
But the key is pour intoyourself.
When you pour into yourself,that way, you won't feel regret
(02:46):
pour into yourself.
When you pour into yourselfthat way, you won't feel regret,
you won't feel as if you'rebeing taken advantage of,
because you'll be caring foryourself the way that you want
others to care for you, and soyou won't be feeling like you're
missing out on something.
And I just want to preface thisit is not selfish to care for
yourself.
I think somewhere along the waythis generation has this view or
mindset that I have to be therefor my friends all the time,
(03:06):
day in, day out, literallystaying up till three o'clock,
four o'clock in the morning,just to provide support to your
friend who's struggling, and atthe cost of your own ability to
manage cope.
That's not a good friend, right?
Because ultimately that friendbelieves you're doing this
because you care and you want to, but you have a battery,
(03:27):
sometimes you're on E, sometimesyou need a break and you need
to be able to communicate thatGood friendship is letting that
friend know Good friendshipmeans I can communicate that
boundary, but I can say, hey, Ihave a test the next day.
I can't stay up all night onthe phone with you.
Hey, I am honestly working onmy sleep schedule and so I know
(03:49):
we talk most nights, but Ireally have changes for myself
and I think somewhere along theway, it became one of those
things where you wereresponsible as a team for your
friend's wellbeing and mentalhealth, and that's just not the
case.
Everyone is responsible fortheir own mental health, their
own care for themselves, and ifyour friend is really struggling
(04:09):
, do a challenge, say, hey, I'mgonna be working on this for
myself.
What are you gonna be workingon for you, for yourself?
But pour life into yourself,give you what you need and don't
feel ashamed or embarrassed orselfish for taking time to love
yourself, for taking time foryourself, for taking time to
(04:30):
pour into what you've created,to taking time to be what you
need for you, so that you can goout to the world and present
how you want to be, and for youto feel loved and cared for and
respected.
You need that and no one elsegets to take that time.
Eight, not everyone has earned aseat in your life.
(04:51):
Yes, so, so, so true.
I'm laughing at this because somany teens and young adults,
you guys, keep people in yourlife who are not helpful, who
are honestly rude, disrespectful, mean, and you keep them in
your life as if they deserve tohave a seat with you.
(05:11):
You get to respect your time,your energy and not everyone
gets access to you.
Not everyone deserves access toyou, and there's nothing wrong
with setting boundaries Again.
Your generation reallystruggles with setting
boundaries.
In general, you guys feel as ifit's wrong or I'll hurt their
feelings.
And yet your feelings get hurtall the time and you're supposed
(05:33):
to manage and cope with that.
But, god forbid, someone elsehas to do the same.
Stop letting people who arehurting you have so much control
and access in your life.
Boundaries protect connection.
Boundaries help conserve yourenergy, your time.
Not everyone deserves that typeof access and when you start
(05:54):
removing people who areunhealthy, people who are not
helping you grow, you're goingto find yourself feeling better
about yourself, you are going tofeel stronger, you are going to
feel more comfortable and, ofcourse, it will take time, but
you will feel as if you havemore energy.
(06:15):
Nine, stop outsourcing yourpower.
There is so much power inmaking decisions for yourself
and when you are anxious,sometimes you think that you
need approval or you needvalidation or you need someone
to tell you that you're on theright track, and you don't
realize it, but you're givingyour power away, because making
(06:36):
decisions for yourself, trustingyour own instincts, deciding
what direction to go in, givesyou a sense of control, gives
you the control that you reallyshould have in life, which is
making decisions, making choices.
When you outsource that power,it makes you feel insecure.
It makes you feel as if youdon't know which direction to go
(06:57):
.
It makes you feel like you haveto have someone always with you
before you can decide something.
Always with you before you candecide something.
There is so much power in choice.
Make them.
Make them and have regret.
Make them and feel as if it wasthe wrong direction.
Make them for you and no oneelse, because you will find that
when you start to make moredecisions without asking other
(07:19):
people, you will feel moreconfident, more comfortable.
You'll feel as if you'reengaging in the world
differently because they're yourchoices, and then you won't be
upset about the choices you madeand be like I didn't even want
to make it, I don't even knowwhy.
I listened to them.
That's what I'm saying.
Stop listening to them.
Make your own choices.
Of course, there's nothingwrong with taking and getting
(07:41):
advice from people, but takeenough advice for you.
Still.
Make your own decision, yourown educated choice on what you
want to do.
And I'll be honest sometimes wemake choices that we know
aren't going to work out thebest.
That's a part of growing,that's a part of learning.
Make those make the decisionsthat you can live with no one
else, because ultimately, at theend of the day, it is you that
(08:04):
has to live with them.
So why make a decision forsomeone else?
Why let someone else make adecision for you that you will
have to live with?
So stop outsourcing your power.
10 motivation isn't magic, it'smomentum.
Waiting for motivation oftenleads to procrastination.
We all think that if we justwait for the right feeling, the
(08:27):
feeling is going to come andI'll feel like cleaning my room,
or, gosh, I'll just wait till Ifeel like working on this paper
, or I'll just wait till I feellike getting out of bed.
And sometimes that feeling justwon't come and by the time it
does, it's gone.
We don't even really know whatwe're wanting to work on anymore
, because we're like oh, I feela little bit motivated, but now
(08:48):
what direction do I go in?
Where do I head?
Stop waiting.
Action creates momentum.
Action actually createsmotivation.
As a kid, you're like oh, Ijust ran around and I did all
the things that I wanted to doand I played the sports and I
drew all day and I wrote.
And it's like no, you tookaction, you acted upon the
things that you loved and atsome point we just forgot what
(09:11):
it felt like to put in the work.
We didn't believe we had to putin the work to feel that
motivation, because, as a kid,it doesn't feel like work, it
feels like just enjoying yourtime.
But now you're getting olderand now the real truth sets in
that the feeling isn't going tobe there.
I have to do the work and thenthe motivation will come.
So, instead of waiting, just do.
(09:33):
And if you're struggling withthis, set a timer.
Set yourself up for fiveminutes and say I'm just going
to work on this for five minutesand see where I get.
Or if that's not going to work,hey, you know what?
The first time the alarm goesoff, I'm just going to put my
feet on the ground, or I'm justgoing to get in the shower.
Tell yourself what you're goingto do and then actively do it,
because the more you actively doit, the more your brain trusts
(09:56):
you got it and the less youranxiety will be, because it
realizes you got it and in somesituations, done is better than
perfect, right?
If I decided to take all thesebig projects that I have and
focus in on it being perfect, Iwouldn't be here.
I surely wouldn't be doing thistoday.
I wouldn't be talking to youand be pushing myself to get my
(10:19):
message out there that I feellike teens need.
Before we keep going, I want toshare something with you.
If you've ever felt stuck withyour anxious thoughts,
overwhelmed by daily life,there's a free resource that can
help.
It's called the AnxietySurvival Toolkit.
It is packed with simple toolsto help you calm your mind, gain
clarity and move forward.
(10:39):
And the best part, it's freeand it's packed with coping
skills, courage, calls andemergency reset things that you
can use in the moment.
Go grab it for free in the shownotes and take that first step
toward feeling more in control.
Now let's get back to it 11.
It's not too late.
You're not far behind.
(10:59):
I think this generation whenyou see so many people online
doing things that it makes youfeel like you're behind that
everyone's life is much biggerand better than yours, but
you're not.
You run your own race, no oneelse's.
You're on your own clock.
There are so many people whohave found their purpose later
in life there's countless ofthem that I wouldn't even be
(11:21):
able to go over all of them.
There's some who decided toswitch college, switch majors,
start YouTube in their 50s, joina band later on in life, decide
to do an acting career.
There is no timeline on whenyou decide to start or find your
passion, your purpose, and Ireally believe, as a team, your
(11:44):
only job is to just focus in onbuilding a better you that is
worth spending time and energyon.
So if you're feeling behind, ifyou're feeling as if everyone's
life is moving forward, set agoal for yourself.
How can I be 1% better than Iwas yesterday?
Focus in on just trying to makeimprovements slowly but surely.
(12:06):
It won't matter what directionyour career is or your life is.
You'll feel as though you're abetter human being for it, and I
think that's really importantin life.
12, be seen in real life, notjust online.
I know that, with the worldthat we live in today, a lot of
people are going to be meetingpeople online.
Dating is now kind of one ofthose things where majority of
(12:28):
people are doing it online, butthere is so much to be said
about trying to connect in reallife, and the more we have those
connections in real life, themore we feel grounded, the more
we feel alive and, honestly, theless depression we experience,
the less anxiety we experience,because now we have something to
pull from.
(12:48):
Sometimes our anxiety isfeeding off of just the fact
that we have not done it.
We have not tried it.
So if you're afraid to go to aparty, face the fear and do it.
Don't spend your time talkingto people online about oh,
there's this party that I wish Iwould have gone to or I got
invited to this party, but I'mhere with you guys.
No, that's not the goal.
(13:10):
I'm all for some online friends.
I think they can help youpractice on communication, as
long as you do it safely and youhave boundaries set and you're
protecting yourself.
I think online friends aregreat, but there is a real
importance for connection.
There's a real need for you toget out of the house, off of the
video games, out in front ofthe TV, off of Discord, off of
(13:33):
TikTok, and live your life.
Live it.
Another creator said I don'tremember his name, sorry, but
you're already creating memories, make them ones that you want
to look back at.
So, yeah, go out and live.
13.
Alone doesn't mean lonely.
Being alone builds strength,and I know sometimes it can feel
(13:58):
as if, especially for teens andyoung adults if you feel alone,
then you are lonely.
But I really believe in life,if you can't be alone, then you
will really struggle withfinding your people, because
sometimes in life you will bealone.
Sometimes it will just be thatyou're not met for the people
(14:18):
that you're with, and especiallyteens, because I feel like
you're limited to the people whoare at your school.
Some kids might have 50 kids intheir class, 50 kids within
their whole entire school system, and some people may be packed
with thousands of kidssurrounded by them, but they're
just all based off of geography.
They're not based off of yourdesires, your passions, your
(14:41):
personality type, your maturitylevel.
None of those things are addedin.
So sometimes you have to bealone and be comfortable being
alone, so that you can find andbe true to who you are and not
feel as if you've changed yourvalues, your character, to meet
the people who are around youwho, in all honesty, you won't
want to talk to five, 10 yearsfrom now.
(15:03):
So why not focus in on yourself, focusing on growing into who
you want to be instead of beingwhat you think that they expect
you to be?
So, yes, if you're that kidwho's sitting on your own and
you feel as if no one sees you,you are seen and you will be
seen, but maybe these aren't thekids who are ready to see you.
(15:24):
And don't feel bad about whoyou are because of that.
Sit there, take your earbud inand enjoy your meal, do your
work and keep grinding until youfind the right people.
But the key here and all ofthis is until you love yourself,
you'll always depend on someoneelse.
(15:44):
Tough conversations is betterthan ghosting.
I know that this generationfeels like I don't owe you a
response, and is that true To acertain extent?
Yes, you don't owe anyoneanything.
But in terms of growth, interms of learning, it is so nice
when people tell you what youneed to change.
If you have a friend thatyou've been spending time with
and all of a sudden, they'redoing things that you don't like
(16:06):
and you don't communicate it tothem, and all of a sudden
you're gone, that friend doesn'tlearn how to develop.
They don't learn how to bebetter.
All they learned is that you'rea horrible friend and they
wouldn't be wrong on thatassessment.
Having tough conversationsmakes you stronger.
It develops who you are.
If I can tell someone who'sasked me out on a date, I'm just
(16:29):
not interested for blah, blah,blah reason, at least that
person now knows, instead ofplaying the question game of
what did I do wrong?
Did I say the wrong thing?
Did I have bad breath?
Did I do something?
And maybe they did do thosethings.
And I'm not saying you have to100% share every detail, but you
could say, hey, these arethings that made me not feel
(16:51):
comfortable and that's on themto decide how they handle that.
Right, it's not your job tomanage their feelings, but I do
think we owe it to each other tostart sharing things that may
be hard to hear but arenecessary for all of us to grow.
Because right now I feel likethere's just a generation of
people just not knowing whatthey're doing wrong and there's
(17:13):
no information for them to fixit.
There's nothing for them topull upon because no one is
telling them.
They're just getting ghostedinstead of learning.
But so now we have a wholegroup of people, anxious people,
people who are insecure andthere's no data, no information
for them to develop into betteryoung adults, better human
(17:35):
beings, better people in general.
And I think that's why a lot ofpeople are carrying such anger
and animosity, especially in thedating world these days,
because there's nothing for themto get to improve on.
And if you think about one areaeveryone wants to improve on
dating, most people want toimprove on being a better
(17:56):
partner, having a partner andthey can't do that without that
information partner having apartner and they can't do that
without that information.
The same thing withrelationships in general.
If someone had a friend thatthey really cared about and they
just ended up ghosting them andthey didn't know why, there's
nothing for them to help thembecome a better friend.
So have those toughconversations, push yourself to
have them.
(18:17):
If you really want to have goodfriends and a partner in life
at some point you're going tohave to get comfortable with
hard conversations.
You have to be able to sharewhat you're thinking and feeling
and give people the opportunityto fix it.
And there's a different storyof once you've given them that
opportunity and they're notchanging it and they're not
respecting the boundaries thatyou're setting.
(18:38):
That's a different lesson andthat's a different situation.
That's when you do number eight.
Not everyone deserves a seat inyour life, right, because
they're not respecting you.
But in this situation, yeah,share what you're thinking,
share how you're feeling, sothat you can actually have the
friendships that you want andthe friendships that you deserve
.
We're going to pause herebecause I don't want these
(19:00):
lessons to just pass by.
I want them to land to matter,to be something you carry your
courageous moment.
This week.
Pick one of the lessons that wewent over today that tugged at
your heart and give it a shot,just for you, not anyone else.
If this episode helps you feelseen, heard or supported, please
(19:22):
like it and share it withsomeone who might need it too.
And don't forget, grab yourfree anxiety survival toolkit.
It's linked in the show notesand it's packed with real tools
for when life gets heavy.
If you thought today's lessonswere helpful, the next video
picks up right where we left off.
You're not going to want tomiss the final seven that's
(19:42):
released next Monday.
Thank you again so much forlistening.
Until next time, keep movingforward, trust yourself and
never forget you have what ittakes to block out the noise.
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