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August 25, 2025 14 mins

Ever felt your heart race just at the thought of raising your hand or asking a teacher for help? You’re not alone. For so many teens and young adults, classrooms feel less like a place to learn and more like a spotlight for anxiety.

In this episode of Block Out the Noise, Jessica Davis, licensed therapist and creator of the C.O.U.R.A.G.E. Method, shares powerful yet practical ways to make conversations with teachers less intimidating and more empowering.

Through her own story of nearly failing a class and turning it around, plus tools she’s used with countless students, Jessica will show you how to:

  • Write an “invisible letter” to organize your thoughts before talking
  • Build trust with teachers through small, human connections
  • Use the Courage Method to separate fear from fact
  • Practice active listening so teachers feel heard (and want to support you)

If just hearing “Ask your teacher” makes your stomach twist, this episode will give you tools to feel calmer, braver, and more in control.

Got a question or feedback? Text us and share your thoughts—we’d love to hear from you!

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🎙️ Presented by Davis-Smith Mental Health

This podcast was created by Davis-Smith Mental Health, offering counseling for teens & young adults in Illinois (only). We accept BCBS PPO, Aetna PPO, and self-pay clients.

⚠️ Disclaimer: Block Out the Noise provides personal insights and practical strategies to help manage anxiety and self-doubt. The content is intended for educational and informational purposes only and should not be used as a substitute for professional mental health care, advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a crisis or need immediate assistance, please contact emergency services or a trusted mental health professional immediately.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jessica Davis (00:07):
Ever walked into a classroom and felt your brain
go blank just because of theteacher?
Maybe it's the one who seemsimpossible to please, or the one
who never smiles and makes yousecond guess everything you say.
Or maybe you worry you'll getsingled out or that you'll let
someone down If just hearing askyour teacher makes your heart

(00:35):
race.
This episode is for you, hi andwelcome.
To Block Out the Noise a spacefor teens and young adults who
are ready to quiet the noise ofanxiety, self-doubt and
overthinking and start buildinga life filled with confidence,
courage and purpose.
I'm Jessica Davis, a licensedtherapist, mindset coach and the

(00:57):
creator of the Courage Method.
I specialize in helping teensand young adults with anxiety,
overthinking and low self-esteem.
Remember, this podcast is hereto support and guide you, but it
is not a replacement fortalking to someone in real life.
If you're struggling with yourmental health, please reach out
to a therapist, and if you're incrisis, contact emergency

(01:21):
services or a local helpline.
You don't have to go through italone.
Also, before we dive in, let metell you about the Anxiety
Survival Toolkit.
If your mind feels stuck on theloops of what if?
Judgment or overwhelm, thistoolkit gives you clear,
practical strategies to slowthat spiral, act with confidence

(01:42):
and feel more like yourselfagain.
Find the link in the show notesto download your free copy.
All right, let's cut throughthe noise and get started.
I found the most powerful toolin navigating teacher dynamics
is simple but far from easyCourage.
I'll never forget my firstsemester of college.

(02:03):
I would have morning workoutsfor basketball.
That left me completelyexhausted for my 8 am class.
I started falling asleep inclass, thinking I could just
rely on reading the book andjotting down notes.
Later, but reality hit.
When I got my first test backand it was an F that became my
wake-up call, I realized that Ihad two choices try to figure it

(02:28):
out on my own or muster up thecourage to talk to my professor.
I was scared.
I was thinking why would heeven help me after I have been
disrespectful in his class bysleeping?
But I knew that I couldn't fixthis problem on my own.
So I explained why I had beensleeping in his class.
I admitted that I needed helpand I explained that I couldn't

(02:50):
afford to fail any of my classesthe first semester and I asked
him was it even possible to pass?
To my surprise, he was open,supportive and clear about what
I need to do differently.
I made the changes.
He said, of course, listen,listen when he teaches, take

(03:14):
notes.
And I moved.
I moved from the back of theclass to the front, I took notes
.
I read the book before classesso I had an idea of what he was
talking about beforehand and Iended up passing the class with
an A.
He said that basically it wouldcome down to the final, and it
did.
And I studied and studied, andstudied so that I could get
where I wanted, which was an Aminus.

(03:37):
I've seen the same thing playout with students.
I've worked with Some who havefound the courage to reach out
and turn things around, otherswho stayed silent and the
struggle only grew.
Neither path makes you afailure.
It just means you learn at yourown pace.
Time you do, you've literallydug yourself so deep in a hole

(03:57):
it's hard to get you out.
And she wasn't wrong.
That was one of my patterns.
I felt like if I had an issue,I had to figure it out on my own
, to show my independence, toshow my responsibility, show my

(04:18):
autonomy.
And yet it wasn't until being ayoung adult that I realized
help is needed and everyoneneeds help, and actually, if I
just ask for help early on, thenI'm really saving myself a lot
of pain, a lot of struggle and alot of heartache.
So if you're listening rightnow, hear this.
Don't do what I did.

(04:39):
Don't wait until the hole feelstoo deep.
Learn now how to ask for help,even if your voice shakes, even
if you feel uncomfortable, evenif you start small.
Asking for help isn't a sign ofweakness.
It's a sign of strength.
The difference comes when youhave simple tools to lean on,

(05:00):
steps that make courage feeljust a little bit easier.
So let's get into some that canhelp you right away.
Tool number one write theinvisible letter.
Sometimes the hardest partisn't the conversation itself,
it's figuring out how to evenstart it.
That's where writing aninvisible letter comes in.
Here's what it looks like.
You grab a notebook.

(05:21):
Here's what it looks like.
Open up your notes app whateverworks best for you and write
down what you wish your teacherknew about you.
It doesn't need to be long orpolished.
It could sound like I care alot about this class, but I get
nervous raising my hand, or Iknow it looks like I'm checked
out, but I'm really trying, oreven sometimes I need extra time

(05:43):
to process before I answer in.
Sometimes I need extra time toprocess before I answer.
Regardless, if you share it, theact of writing helps calm your
thoughts and organize yourfeelings.
You move from a swirl of I'llmess it up to clear, honest
words that reflect who you are.
If you do feel ready to share apiece of it, you might take one

(06:04):
line I'll get nervous talking,but I really want to understand
and use that as a simple way tostart the conversation.
Why does this even work, I'msure you're wondering.
Well, educators sometimes usesomething called dialogue
journals.
It's where writing becomes abridge for trust.
It removes the pressure ofsaying the perfect thing, and it

(06:25):
gives you a safe space toexpress yourself.
Here's the real gift in it,though.
Even if you don't share theletter, it becomes practice and
naming your truth, and everytime you name it, the weight of
anxiety starts to shrink.
Tool number two connect outsidethe classroom.
Sometimes, the scariest partabout talking to a teacher is
that it feels like you'restanding in front of a judge

(06:48):
Right the desk, the gradebook,the authority.
It makes your anxiety skyrocket, but teachers are people, and
the more you remind yourself ofthat the less intimidating they
feel.
Think of starting small, lowstake conversations that have
nothing to do with academics.
This might look like cool shoeswhere'd you get them?
Or did you watch the game lastnight?

(07:11):
Or hope you had a good weekend.
It might feel silly, but here'swhy it works.
When your brain sees a teacherlaugh or smile about a
compliment, it rewires how youview them.
They stop being intimidatingand start being a human being
who drinks coffee too early andforgets where they parked their

(07:31):
car, just like the rest of us.
And here's the payoff Onceyou've made that casual
connection, it makes theacademic conversations easier.
You're no longer approaching thescary authority person.
You're talking to someoneyou've already had a moment to
connect with.
There's not a single teacher orprofessor walking this earth

(07:52):
who hasn't had difficultiesdifficulties in the job,
pressure from above on how welltheir students do.
So if you can take a leap andsay, hey, I know I've been
struggling and I really do wantto improve, what teacher or
professor wouldn't want you to?
It just wouldn't even make anysense.
And if they don't, then that'smore on them than you.

(08:13):
So here's your reminder youdon't need a huge brave speech.
Start with one small humanconversation.
That's the bridge that makesthe harder conversations feel
possible.
And if you're afraid to do thisin person which I think in
person is more ideal on thistype of situation, bring a buddy

(08:34):
, bring a friend with you, orask your friend to start the
conversation and ask thequestions, and then maybe you
can jump in and start to join in, find whatever works for you to
push yourself to take this step.
If you're looking for practicaltools to manage anxiety
throughout the day, not justwhen talking to a teacher,
download the Anxiety SurvivalToolkit.

(08:56):
It is free and is packed withscripts, breathing exercises and
audio messages that can helpyou calm your thoughts and feel
more in control.
You can find the link in theshow notes Tool number three you
and the courage methodUnderstand that fear isn't fact.
One of the most powerfullessons from the courage method

(09:17):
is fear isn't the same as fact.
Anxiety loves to tell youstories that feel real in the
moment, like if I ask thisquestion, they'll think I'm
stupid.
But pause and check Is that afear or is that a fact?
And here's how you can break itdown Catch the thought, write
it out or say it out loud.
Example if I ask for help, I'llsound dumb.

(09:37):
Challenge it with the truth.
Good teachers want students tolearn.
Asking shows I'm trying Stepthree, reframe it.
I'm not stupid for asking, I'mactually showing I care.
And if you want to push thiseven further, use AI as a
practice buddy.
Yep, tap it into ChatGPT oranother AI tool and tell it to

(10:04):
pretend you're my teacher.
Give me the worst possibleresponse.
If I ask for help, then flip itand ask now.
Give me the best possibleresponse.
When you see both extremes sideby side, your brain realizes
something powerful.
Even the worst case scenario issurvivable, and the best case
scenario is actually way morerealistic and helpful to you.

(10:25):
So the next time fear tells youa story, remember it's not fact
, it's just noise and you get torewrite it.
Tool number four activelistening in return.
Reaching out to a teacher takescourage, but what happens after
you speak to your teacher isjust as important.
That's where active listeningcomes in.

(10:46):
Here's the mistake many of usmake.
We're so busy planning out ournext sentence of how do I
explain this better?
Or what if they don't get it,that they don't actually hear
what the teacher is saying.
When we miss their words, wemiss their reassurance, the
guidance and the support thatthey're giving.
So how do you practice activelistening?

(11:06):
Try this.
Number one make eye contact orat least look up.
This shows presence and itshows that you're listening.
Number two pause after theyfinish speaking.
Count one breath before yourespond.
It reminds your brain that youdon't have to rush into what
you're saying.
And number three reflect onephrase back, something like so

(11:29):
you're saying let's just startthe assignment earlier.
This signals you were trulylistening and the teachers lean
in when they feel heard.
But also a great part of stepnumber three is that if you
misunderstood, the teacher cancorrect you in the moment and
say no, actually, what I wantyou to do is start with this
assignment, and the goal wouldbe then now you can deliver on

(11:51):
what they said.
So why does this even matter?
When teachers sense you're notjust checking the box which I do
feel like nowadays, people canreach out with the sole
intention of fix the problem.
I don't really want to do thework, but I want it fixed.
Teachers can tell that.
But when you're actuallyengaged, they're invested more
in helping you.

(12:12):
They can explain more clearly,they can offer encouragement,
trust is built and the cycles ofmisunderstanding start to break
and oftentimes there aremisunderstandings on both ends
and you get to correct that.
When I went to my professor andtold him that I was struggling
with the early morning workoutsand coming to class, he was able

(12:35):
to understand that I wasn't akid coming to his class, not
caring and just trying to sleepthrough, coming to his class not
caring and just trying to sleepthrough.
But he also got to find outthrough my actions after that
that I was really making aconsiderable effort to put in
the work and I think that makesa big difference.
If you're on the cusp of a Dand a C, a teacher is more

(12:56):
likely to lend toward the C ifthey see that you've been
putting in the work, if you'vebeen trying, if you've been
reaching out.
But if you're the kid who,right before grades are due,
you're now reaching out, thenthat doesn't send a signal to
the teacher that you cared.
It's just showing that, okay,now I care because I don't want
to get a D as my final grade andmaybe that teacher's perception

(13:19):
of you might be inaccurate, butit's not going to be fixed the
day before grades are due.
Active listening is about beingpresent, and presence is what
transforms conversation fromstressful to supportive.
Each tool here shifts you fromfeeling stuck to growing in
confidence.
Courage doesn't have to be loud.
When you give yourself graceand take just one small step

(13:42):
forward, you make room for yourcourage to grow stronger, for
your courageous moment.
This week, just choose onesmall act of courage.
Maybe it's writing thatinvisible letter, or starting a
conversation with your teacherabout something non-academic, or
even just catching yourselfwhen a fear thought shows up and

(14:03):
saying that's fear, not fact.
It doesn't matter which one youpick.
What matters is that you try,because every time you show up
with even a little bit ofcourage, you prove to yourself
that you are stronger than thenoise and that one step.
That's where the real changebegins.
Feeling anxious with teachersdoesn't mean you're failing.

(14:24):
It just really means you'rehuman and underneath that fear
there is a part of you thatdeeply wants to grow.
So when that anxious voicetries to take over, remind
yourself it doesn't write yourstory.
Your courage does.
Thank you so much for listening.
Until next time, keep movingforward, trust yourself and
never forget you have what ittakes to block out the noise.
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