March 14, 2025 • 20 mins
A client recently asked how I get up at 5am in a house with squeaky floorboards and a husband who’s a night owl. The answer to this, and to so many other things comes from knowing my priorities.
While the 5am wake up call might ring just so I can get some exercise and some alone time before the chaos of the world wakes up…there’s something else that’s even more important to me than either of those things. Knowing my priorities makes a 5am wake up call easy, and ALSO makes it easy to forgive myself if 5am passes me by.
Priorities help us set goals and realize them, of course. But they also help us meet day to day challenges with confidence, communicate with clarity, and feel clear as we’re making decisions to meet the big challenges that will inevitably arise.
In this episode you’ll learn three tools that will help you:
- Use priorities to plan your week and your calendar
- Use priorities to troubleshoot the unexpected day to day interruptions
- Reflect on your days and weeks, so that you can use clean, clear logic to adjust how you choose to spend your time
- Make easy, guilt free decisions to let go of one goal when another is more important
- Move through big life challenges with clarity and confidence about how you’re showing up
Mentioned in this episode:
How to connect with Marie:
- On the Web | The Local Bloom
- Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
- All Things Marie on LinkTree
JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to the Bloom your Mind Podcast, where we take
all of your ideas for what youwant and we turn them into real
things.
I'm your host, Certified CoachMarie McDonald.
Let's get into it.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Well, hello everybody , and welcome to episode number
118 of the Bloom your Mindpodcast.
You know what?
I am at my house today and mychildren are sick.
They are here coughing and allwrapped up in little blankets,
and they've been here for acouple of days.
(00:48):
I've been cooking soup for themand bringing them tea.
But what's interesting aboutthis is I was so sick last week
and we quarantined me.
We had me in this one room andI barely spent any time near my
kids at all, and so when Istarted to get better, my
husband and my kids none of themgot sick and we were gloating,
(01:13):
we were like we did it.
We were walking around tellingpeople.
You know, we dodged that bullet, we worked hard to separate us
all.
We quarantined and we did it.
The kids didn't get sick andthen they went down.
So here I am in the house withtwo sick babies.
(01:35):
They're almost at the end of it, but this thing is long and it
passes from one person to thenext, so don't gloat, take it
from me.
So today we're going to talk alittle bit about priorities.
I know that I have talked aboutpriorities before on the
podcast, but this has come up assuch a helpful tool for my
(01:58):
clients, for the people in thebloom room, and there are three
different ways that we are goingto use it room, and there are
three different ways that we aregoing to use it.
So we've talked aboutpriorities in one major way
before it's.
Using a system of fivepriorities is one of my favorite
tools for time and projectmanagement, for life management,
so I'll review that way ofusing this tool.
(02:20):
I'm also going to review twoother ways that priorities can
just help us in the day-to-day,because there's a new way of
thinking about this.
This is that has really justcreated a lot of relief for my
clients.
I realized it was a way that Iuse priorities that I hadn't
really articulated yet, and soI'd love to share that with you.
So I may have shared this withyou before.
(02:43):
I definitely have.
You may have heard it before inthe podcast, but one of my
favorite things to do and havemy clients do when they're
planning their week, they'relike, ah, my time's all over the
place.
Look at this week.
I haven't spent any time doingthe things that I love, but my
whole week is chock full.
I feel like I'm moving everyminute.
(03:05):
I don't have any spare time,and yet I didn't get to the
things that I want to do.
So what I have them do and Iwill offer it to you as a tool
to use is to sit down and writeyour top five priorities.
For me, they're my mental andphysical well-being, my health,
(03:26):
my authenticity.
For me, that's a big oldwrap-up of, just like me, being
able to set boundaries and beauthentic with the people around
me.
Be myself, exercise, take careof my brain, my body, my
boundaries, take care of myself.
That's always number one.
And number two is my family, mykids and my husband.
(03:46):
Loving them, being supportive,having their backs.
It's soaking up the momentswith them and not taking them
for granted.
Loving them like I feel it ismy responsibility to love them,
because I'm the only mom my kidshave and I'm the only partner
that my husband has, and so if Idon't love them, who's going to
right?
I see it as a bigresponsibility because nobody's
(04:09):
here but me.
And then work.
For me, work is like theintersection of where my passion
meets the world's need, and soit becomes my contribution.
That's a big one, and thatcontribution also sort sort of
like I say, work andvolunteerism.
So I spend a lot of timevolunteering and leading in
(04:30):
areas where people need me andthen working and coaching and
consulting and speaking andstuff.
And then my last two areadventure, which is like the
sense of awe and miraculousnessof being alive, being in the
world, having fun, having thisfeeling of gratitude and awe and
whimsy as I walk around.
And the last one's communityand friends.
(04:52):
You know spaces where I can bewith people that are not my
family but that I love likefamily, right?
So those are my priorities andif I see those top five
priorities and I look at mycalendar and I use a Google
calendar system if you want toget like nerdily tactical with
me here I color code my Googlecalendar and the first thing
(05:14):
when I look at my week, thefirst thing I do y'all is green.
It's my dark green color andyou know what that green is.
It's my health and wellbeing.
It's my dark green color andyou know what that green is.
It's my health and wellbeing.
It's all my exercise.
Before I plan anything in myweek, I plan in my exercise and
I plan in my red, which is love.
(05:35):
So I plan in time with friends,time with my husband, time that
fills my cup, and those twothings are really important for
my health and wellbeing.
I also plan in meditation alonetime are really important for
my health and wellbeing.
I also plan in meditation alonetime whatever I need for mental
health.
Then I go in and I do all mystuff for my family and that's
next and after that I do all mywork.
But then I got to look at mycalendar and see if my fourth
(05:58):
and fifth priorities are inthere.
Is there something taking up alot of my time that I am
allowing to be a priority beforemy fourth and fifth priorities
of adventure and whimsy andmiraculousness of life and
community and friends?
One of my top priorities is nottaking up very much space in
(06:27):
the calendar.
For instance, if I don't haveexercise and love time in my
calendar, then I know I'm not inline with my priorities because
that's my number one and so ifit's not taking up space in my
calendar every day maybe notnecessarily the most hours of
the day, right, because it can'talways work like that but if
(06:47):
I'm not making it the toppriority to get in there every
day, I know that I'm kind of outof balance.
So that's the first thing.
Now that same system works withthe priorities that you have
within your work.
So if you have five toppriorities in a work week, then
you should look at your calendarand plan the first priority
(07:07):
first, the second prioritysecond and so on.
If you look at your calendarand you're working and something
is your second priority butit's not on your calendar at all
, you know you're not in linewith your priorities.
You're doing something that'surgent but not important.
Know you're not in line withyour priorities.
You're doing something that'surgent but not important, or
you're being reactive, lettingpeople take your time for
(07:29):
meetings that are not actually apriority for you or whatever it
is.
So that's the first way to usea system of five priorities to
make sure that you are spendingthe hours of your life doing
what is most important to you.
That's how you plan it.
But another thing you can do isdo a little retro.
So if you look back at your dayand you're like, okay, I did
(07:50):
the things on my calendar, butthen all of the unplanned time I
was on my phone, I wasscrolling and you think, is it a
priority for me to be on myphone?
Wow, it's not only not apriority, but I don't even want
to do it Like I have beenwanting to make an effort to be
on my phone less.
Then you know it's time to putsome effort into being more in
(08:13):
line with your priorities.
When you look at the way thatthe sands of time were spent for
you that day and you check outyour list of five priorities,
then it's real easy.
It's just a math problem.
You don't have to feel shame,you don't have to feel
embarrassed, you don't have tofeel like something's wrong with
you and you don't have to feellike it's a mystery about where
your time is going, because it'sjust a matching game.
(08:35):
Match the five priorities withthe hours of your day and boom,
you get a life you're designingintentionally.
Now the second way of usingthese five priorities, or a few
priorities, is in relation tosomething that you're planning.
So let go of that first conceptof five priorities for your
(08:57):
life and I want to just sharesomething with you.
I get up at five in the morningso that I can get some exercise
and some alone time, some quiettime, before the kids wake up
and walk out and fill the housewith their little giggles and
screams, before I'm with clientswho are, you know, telling me
(09:21):
about their life and their needs.
And before the world wakes up,I want a little time to myself.
And I had a client say you knowhow do you do this when you
have a partner that you'resharing space with?
And we talked through sometactics.
But the number one thing that Ido with this priority of the
(09:43):
morning is I know that, withinthe goal of getting up at five
o'clock in the morning toexercise, I have three
priorities there.
The first priority is sleep Forme.
I understand that almosteverything else in my mental and
physical sort of function alldepends on me getting sleep, and
(10:04):
I'm more of a nine hour girl,but I need eight hours minimum.
So the number one priority forme is eight hours of sleep every
single night, nine if I can getit, and hey if we get 10, we
are a happy, happy woman.
Secondly, exercise.
(10:26):
That's why I'm getting up atfive.
I want to get some exercise andthat makes me a happy girl.
It's like when I exercise and Iwork out in the morning and
then it's done and then later Ican get walks or whatever else.
Anything else is icing on thecake, but that exercise in the
morning.
That's my second priority there.
Third, third important is alonetime.
(10:47):
Now, what happens here isbecause I know that sleep's the
most important, exercise is thesecond most important and alone
time is the third.
We know that life will alwaysget in the way.
There's always stuff that'sgoing to come up.
I won't sleep well one nightbecause there's trash trucks, or
the kids can't go to sleep, orsomeone's sick, or someone gets
home late, or I'll have a dreamor whatever.
(11:09):
Right, I'll have to do somework, or maybe I do something
fun and I get home late.
I know that if I don't geteight hours of sleep, that's a
no-go.
So I will skip my exercise inorder to get sleep.
And here's the magic when Iskip my exercise in order to get
(11:29):
sleep, I feel like I'm winning.
I don't feel like I'm beatingmyself up for not getting
exercise.
I'm really proud of myself forgetting sleep, because I know
sleep is the most importantthing for me, and so I already
know that I made a choice that'sin line with my priorities.
I already know I don't want togive up my sleep in order to get
(11:49):
exercise.
I will always give up myexercise in order to get sleep
first.
That's my priority.
And so, even when somethinggoes wrong, I'm winning in my
mind.
And so, even when somethinggoes wrong, I'm winning in my
mind.
And then, if my husband wantsto get up with me and exercise,
I know that exercise is moreimportant to me than alone time.
So if I get some sleep and thenI get to exercise and my
(12:12):
husband's up with me, that's allright.
Number one I get some time withmy lovely husband.
But also I know that theexercise is my second priority.
There it's more important to meto do that than it is to have
the alone time.
And then when I get all three,it's a super win and it happens.
Most of the time I get allthree.
But what I'm saying here is thatunderstanding what your
(12:35):
priorities are allows you toroll with what happens, because
you're clear on how to roll withit, on what needs to give and
what is your boundary that youwill not give on.
For me, it's sleep.
So that's a very, very valuableway to use priorities in
(12:55):
relation to anything.
You can apply that to anything.
You can apply it to arelationship, conversation, a
goal, something like exercise,anything, and it will allow you
to roll with life, which willalways get in the way.
So, lastly, we can use ourpriorities when really wild
(13:17):
stuff happens in life.
So again I have my list of myown health and wellbeing first,
my family, second, mycontribution, third, the wonder,
whimsy, fun, and then community.
So when life gets haywire andwhen things happen that are hard
, when the challenges arise,things are going to get off
(13:41):
track.
Right, my goals are going toget off track.
I will slip in some areas.
Things are going to change whenreally challenging stuff arises
.
But because I know what mypriorities are, when I have that
list of five right, that listof five right, I know what to
(14:06):
let slip and what to not letslip.
I know that I'm not going togive up sleep and basic
self-care because I have to havethat no matter what.
And if it slips a little bit, Iknow that's the first thing
that needs to get right back ontrack.
I know, secondly, that, nomatter what, if my work slips a
little bit, my contribution, mycommunity slips I'm going to
give all of that a littleflexibility before I give any
(14:30):
flexibility to the way I'mshowing up for my family,
because for me it's my healthand wellbeing first, and then my
kids and my husband.
So if I see that I'm puttingwork above them or I'm putting
volunteerism or whatever abovethem in a way that's not
allowing me to show up, havetheir back, be happy you know,
(14:53):
not always happy, but I justmean be a loving presence, right
?
A loving, supportive presencefor them, be who I want to be as
a wife and a mother, a partner,a family member to them, then
the other thing's got to give,because that's not okay with
that one giving.
So having these top fivepriorities allows us to still
(15:14):
feel okay and actually feel likewe are shredding, we're killing
it when things get in the wayin some aspects of what's
important to us, some prioritieshave to slip a little bit.
We can still feel super proudof how we're handling things
when we're holding tight to ourtop priorities.
We know we're in line with ourvalues, and I've just been
(15:38):
hearing a lot of that of kind oflife getting in the way, and
I've just been hearing a lot ofthat of kind of life getting in
the way.
So when hard things happen, inaddition to having these
priorities in mind no-transcriptNumber one am I acting in a way
that's in line with what'struly important to me, nothing
(15:58):
else matters.
Am I showing up to thissituation the way that I am
proud of?
Am I being who I want to be?
That's the first thing.
Second thing is there any way inwhich I'm fighting something
that I can't control?
Am I fighting what is?
Am I just fighting with realityBecause I don't want it, but
(16:22):
it's happening?
Are there any things that Ijust need to accept that I
cannot control?
They are circumstances thatexist and once we recognize
those, the faster we can stopfighting against them, the
better, because that is wastedenergy that will kind of suck
our strength and our motivation.
(16:44):
So how can I let go of fightingwhat is and focus instead on
what I can control?
And third, as I focus on what Ican control, as I take steps to
make things better, to face thechallenge, to create solutions,
how can I also not miss thesemoments of life or this phase of
(17:09):
life, because, sure, somechallenges are happening and
maybe they're really big andreally hard.
And how can I make sure that Idon't miss these weeks or these
days or these years?
As I'm fighting to fix what'shappening or overcome a
challenge?
How can I also be present formy life and the people that I
(17:34):
love that I'm with.
I always remember these twosayings that came out of my mom
and dad's house burning downtwice Houses that they built
with their own hands on the samepiece of property that's in
episode two, if you haven'theard it yet and one of them was
a tapestry that my mom had onher wall.
That said was a tapestry thatmy mom had on her wall that said
(17:59):
the barn burned down.
Now I can see the moon.
Oh, that just gets me everytime I hear it.
Ironically, they actually had abarn that burned down twice and
you could see the moon from themountaintop where that house
was.
But metaphorically you get it.
So I love that phrase and Ialso love this other phrase.
The second time her house burneddown, she found a poem that
(18:23):
said I can let go of the life Ihad planned in order to have the
life that is waiting for me.
I love both of those so much.
So it's not about giving in andgiving up and just accepting
whatever's happening.
It's about really noticing whatcan I control and what can't I
(18:49):
control, and as I take steps tochange the things I can control
to meet challenges, come up withsolutions, take steps to get
things back on track.
How can I also not miss thesedays and moments of my precious
life?
How can I practice nostalgiafor now and be here for every
(19:15):
second of it?
That's what I've got for youthis week, and I will see you
next week.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
If you like what you're hearing on the podcast,
you gotta come and join us inthe Bloom Room.
This is a year-round membershipwhere we take all of these
concepts and we apply them toreal life in a community where
we have each other's backs andwe bring out the best in each
other.
We're all there to make ourideas real, one idea at a time.
(19:55):
We'll see you in the bloom room.
Welcome to the Bloom your Mind Podcast, where we take
all of your ideas for what youwant and we turn them into real
things.
I'm your host, Certified CoachMarie McDonald.
Let's get into it.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Well, hello everybody , and welcome to episode number
118 of the Bloom your Mindpodcast.
You know what?
I am at my house today and mychildren are sick.
They are here coughing and allwrapped up in little blankets,
and they've been here for acouple of days.
(00:48):
I've been cooking soup for themand bringing them tea.
But what's interesting aboutthis is I was so sick last week
and we quarantined me.
We had me in this one room andI barely spent any time near my
kids at all, and so when Istarted to get better, my
husband and my kids none of themgot sick and we were gloating,
(01:13):
we were like we did it.
We were walking around tellingpeople.
You know, we dodged that bullet, we worked hard to separate us
all.
We quarantined and we did it.
The kids didn't get sick andthen they went down.
So here I am in the house withtwo sick babies.
(01:35):
They're almost at the end of it, but this thing is long and it
passes from one person to thenext, so don't gloat, take it
from me.
So today we're going to talk alittle bit about priorities.
I know that I have talked aboutpriorities before on the
podcast, but this has come up assuch a helpful tool for my
(01:58):
clients, for the people in thebloom room, and there are three
different ways that we are goingto use it room, and there are
three different ways that we aregoing to use it.
So we've talked aboutpriorities in one major way
before it's.
Using a system of fivepriorities is one of my favorite
tools for time and projectmanagement, for life management,
so I'll review that way ofusing this tool.
(02:20):
I'm also going to review twoother ways that priorities can
just help us in the day-to-day,because there's a new way of
thinking about this.
This is that has really justcreated a lot of relief for my
clients.
I realized it was a way that Iuse priorities that I hadn't
really articulated yet, and soI'd love to share that with you.
So I may have shared this withyou before.
(02:43):
I definitely have.
You may have heard it before inthe podcast, but one of my
favorite things to do and havemy clients do when they're
planning their week, they'relike, ah, my time's all over the
place.
Look at this week.
I haven't spent any time doingthe things that I love, but my
whole week is chock full.
I feel like I'm moving everyminute.
(03:05):
I don't have any spare time,and yet I didn't get to the
things that I want to do.
So what I have them do and Iwill offer it to you as a tool
to use is to sit down and writeyour top five priorities.
For me, they're my mental andphysical well-being, my health,
(03:26):
my authenticity.
For me, that's a big oldwrap-up of, just like me, being
able to set boundaries and beauthentic with the people around
me.
Be myself, exercise, take careof my brain, my body, my
boundaries, take care of myself.
That's always number one.
And number two is my family, mykids and my husband.
(03:46):
Loving them, being supportive,having their backs.
It's soaking up the momentswith them and not taking them
for granted.
Loving them like I feel it ismy responsibility to love them,
because I'm the only mom my kidshave and I'm the only partner
that my husband has, and so if Idon't love them, who's going to
right?
I see it as a bigresponsibility because nobody's
(04:09):
here but me.
And then work.
For me, work is like theintersection of where my passion
meets the world's need, and soit becomes my contribution.
That's a big one, and thatcontribution also sort sort of
like I say, work andvolunteerism.
So I spend a lot of timevolunteering and leading in
(04:30):
areas where people need me andthen working and coaching and
consulting and speaking andstuff.
And then my last two areadventure, which is like the
sense of awe and miraculousnessof being alive, being in the
world, having fun, having thisfeeling of gratitude and awe and
whimsy as I walk around.
And the last one's communityand friends.
(04:52):
You know spaces where I can bewith people that are not my
family but that I love likefamily, right?
So those are my priorities andif I see those top five
priorities and I look at mycalendar and I use a Google
calendar system if you want toget like nerdily tactical with
me here I color code my Googlecalendar and the first thing
(05:14):
when I look at my week, thefirst thing I do y'all is green.
It's my dark green color andyou know what that green is.
It's my health and wellbeing.
It's my dark green color andyou know what that green is.
It's my health and wellbeing.
It's all my exercise.
Before I plan anything in myweek, I plan in my exercise and
I plan in my red, which is love.
(05:35):
So I plan in time with friends,time with my husband, time that
fills my cup, and those twothings are really important for
my health and wellbeing.
I also plan in meditation alonetime are really important for
my health and wellbeing.
I also plan in meditation alonetime whatever I need for mental
health.
Then I go in and I do all mystuff for my family and that's
next and after that I do all mywork.
But then I got to look at mycalendar and see if my fourth
(05:58):
and fifth priorities are inthere.
Is there something taking up alot of my time that I am
allowing to be a priority beforemy fourth and fifth priorities
of adventure and whimsy andmiraculousness of life and
community and friends?
One of my top priorities is nottaking up very much space in
(06:27):
the calendar.
For instance, if I don't haveexercise and love time in my
calendar, then I know I'm not inline with my priorities because
that's my number one and so ifit's not taking up space in my
calendar every day maybe notnecessarily the most hours of
the day, right, because it can'talways work like that but if
(06:47):
I'm not making it the toppriority to get in there every
day, I know that I'm kind of outof balance.
So that's the first thing.
Now that same system works withthe priorities that you have
within your work.
So if you have five toppriorities in a work week, then
you should look at your calendarand plan the first priority
(07:07):
first, the second prioritysecond and so on.
If you look at your calendarand you're working and something
is your second priority butit's not on your calendar at all
, you know you're not in linewith your priorities.
You're doing something that'surgent but not important.
Know you're not in line withyour priorities.
You're doing something that'surgent but not important, or
you're being reactive, lettingpeople take your time for
(07:29):
meetings that are not actually apriority for you or whatever it
is.
So that's the first way to usea system of five priorities to
make sure that you are spendingthe hours of your life doing
what is most important to you.
That's how you plan it.
But another thing you can do isdo a little retro.
So if you look back at your dayand you're like, okay, I did
(07:50):
the things on my calendar, butthen all of the unplanned time I
was on my phone, I wasscrolling and you think, is it a
priority for me to be on myphone?
Wow, it's not only not apriority, but I don't even want
to do it Like I have beenwanting to make an effort to be
on my phone less.
Then you know it's time to putsome effort into being more in
(08:13):
line with your priorities.
When you look at the way thatthe sands of time were spent for
you that day and you check outyour list of five priorities,
then it's real easy.
It's just a math problem.
You don't have to feel shame,you don't have to feel
embarrassed, you don't have tofeel like something's wrong with
you and you don't have to feellike it's a mystery about where
your time is going, because it'sjust a matching game.
(08:35):
Match the five priorities withthe hours of your day and boom,
you get a life you're designingintentionally.
Now the second way of usingthese five priorities, or a few
priorities, is in relation tosomething that you're planning.
So let go of that first conceptof five priorities for your
(08:57):
life and I want to just sharesomething with you.
I get up at five in the morningso that I can get some exercise
and some alone time, some quiettime, before the kids wake up
and walk out and fill the housewith their little giggles and
screams, before I'm with clientswho are, you know, telling me
(09:21):
about their life and their needs.
And before the world wakes up,I want a little time to myself.
And I had a client say you knowhow do you do this when you
have a partner that you'resharing space with?
And we talked through sometactics.
But the number one thing that Ido with this priority of the
(09:43):
morning is I know that, withinthe goal of getting up at five
o'clock in the morning toexercise, I have three
priorities there.
The first priority is sleep Forme.
I understand that almosteverything else in my mental and
physical sort of function alldepends on me getting sleep, and
(10:04):
I'm more of a nine hour girl,but I need eight hours minimum.
So the number one priority forme is eight hours of sleep every
single night, nine if I can getit, and hey if we get 10, we
are a happy, happy woman.
Secondly, exercise.
(10:26):
That's why I'm getting up atfive.
I want to get some exercise andthat makes me a happy girl.
It's like when I exercise and Iwork out in the morning and
then it's done and then later Ican get walks or whatever else.
Anything else is icing on thecake, but that exercise in the
morning.
That's my second priority there.
Third, third important is alonetime.
(10:47):
Now, what happens here isbecause I know that sleep's the
most important, exercise is thesecond most important and alone
time is the third.
We know that life will alwaysget in the way.
There's always stuff that'sgoing to come up.
I won't sleep well one nightbecause there's trash trucks, or
the kids can't go to sleep, orsomeone's sick, or someone gets
home late, or I'll have a dreamor whatever.
(11:09):
Right, I'll have to do somework, or maybe I do something
fun and I get home late.
I know that if I don't geteight hours of sleep, that's a
no-go.
So I will skip my exercise inorder to get sleep.
And here's the magic when Iskip my exercise in order to get
(11:29):
sleep, I feel like I'm winning.
I don't feel like I'm beatingmyself up for not getting
exercise.
I'm really proud of myself forgetting sleep, because I know
sleep is the most importantthing for me, and so I already
know that I made a choice that'sin line with my priorities.
I already know I don't want togive up my sleep in order to get
(11:49):
exercise.
I will always give up myexercise in order to get sleep
first.
That's my priority.
And so, even when somethinggoes wrong, I'm winning in my
mind.
And so, even when somethinggoes wrong, I'm winning in my
mind.
And then, if my husband wantsto get up with me and exercise,
I know that exercise is moreimportant to me than alone time.
So if I get some sleep and thenI get to exercise and my
(12:12):
husband's up with me, that's allright.
Number one I get some time withmy lovely husband.
But also I know that theexercise is my second priority.
There it's more important to meto do that than it is to have
the alone time.
And then when I get all three,it's a super win and it happens.
Most of the time I get allthree.
But what I'm saying here is thatunderstanding what your
(12:35):
priorities are allows you toroll with what happens, because
you're clear on how to roll withit, on what needs to give and
what is your boundary that youwill not give on.
For me, it's sleep.
So that's a very, very valuableway to use priorities in
(12:55):
relation to anything.
You can apply that to anything.
You can apply it to arelationship, conversation, a
goal, something like exercise,anything, and it will allow you
to roll with life, which willalways get in the way.
So, lastly, we can use ourpriorities when really wild
(13:17):
stuff happens in life.
So again I have my list of myown health and wellbeing first,
my family, second, mycontribution, third, the wonder,
whimsy, fun, and then community.
So when life gets haywire andwhen things happen that are hard
, when the challenges arise,things are going to get off
(13:41):
track.
Right, my goals are going toget off track.
I will slip in some areas.
Things are going to change whenreally challenging stuff arises
.
But because I know what mypriorities are, when I have that
list of five right, that listof five right, I know what to
(14:06):
let slip and what to not letslip.
I know that I'm not going togive up sleep and basic
self-care because I have to havethat no matter what.
And if it slips a little bit, Iknow that's the first thing
that needs to get right back ontrack.
I know, secondly, that, nomatter what, if my work slips a
little bit, my contribution, mycommunity slips I'm going to
give all of that a littleflexibility before I give any
(14:30):
flexibility to the way I'mshowing up for my family,
because for me it's my healthand wellbeing first, and then my
kids and my husband.
So if I see that I'm puttingwork above them or I'm putting
volunteerism or whatever abovethem in a way that's not
allowing me to show up, havetheir back, be happy you know,
(14:53):
not always happy, but I justmean be a loving presence, right
?
A loving, supportive presencefor them, be who I want to be as
a wife and a mother, a partner,a family member to them, then
the other thing's got to give,because that's not okay with
that one giving.
So having these top fivepriorities allows us to still
(15:14):
feel okay and actually feel likewe are shredding, we're killing
it when things get in the wayin some aspects of what's
important to us, some prioritieshave to slip a little bit.
We can still feel super proudof how we're handling things
when we're holding tight to ourtop priorities.
We know we're in line with ourvalues, and I've just been
(15:38):
hearing a lot of that of kind oflife getting in the way, and
I've just been hearing a lot ofthat of kind of life getting in
the way.
So when hard things happen, inaddition to having these
priorities in mind no-transcriptNumber one am I acting in a way
that's in line with what'struly important to me, nothing
(15:58):
else matters.
Am I showing up to thissituation the way that I am
proud of?
Am I being who I want to be?
That's the first thing.
Second thing is there any way inwhich I'm fighting something
that I can't control?
Am I fighting what is?
Am I just fighting with realityBecause I don't want it, but
(16:22):
it's happening?
Are there any things that Ijust need to accept that I
cannot control?
They are circumstances thatexist and once we recognize
those, the faster we can stopfighting against them, the
better, because that is wastedenergy that will kind of suck
our strength and our motivation.
(16:44):
So how can I let go of fightingwhat is and focus instead on
what I can control?
And third, as I focus on what Ican control, as I take steps to
make things better, to face thechallenge, to create solutions,
how can I also not miss thesemoments of life or this phase of
(17:09):
life, because, sure, somechallenges are happening and
maybe they're really big andreally hard.
And how can I make sure that Idon't miss these weeks or these
days or these years?
As I'm fighting to fix what'shappening or overcome a
challenge?
How can I also be present formy life and the people that I
(17:34):
love that I'm with.
I always remember these twosayings that came out of my mom
and dad's house burning downtwice Houses that they built
with their own hands on the samepiece of property that's in
episode two, if you haven'theard it yet and one of them was
a tapestry that my mom had onher wall.
That said was a tapestry thatmy mom had on her wall that said
(17:59):
the barn burned down.
Now I can see the moon.
Oh, that just gets me everytime I hear it.
Ironically, they actually had abarn that burned down twice and
you could see the moon from themountaintop where that house
was.
But metaphorically you get it.
So I love that phrase and Ialso love this other phrase.
The second time her house burneddown, she found a poem that
(18:23):
said I can let go of the life Ihad planned in order to have the
life that is waiting for me.
I love both of those so much.
So it's not about giving in andgiving up and just accepting
whatever's happening.
It's about really noticing whatcan I control and what can't I
(18:49):
control, and as I take steps tochange the things I can control
to meet challenges, come up withsolutions, take steps to get
things back on track.
How can I also not miss thesedays and moments of my precious
life?
How can I practice nostalgiafor now and be here for every
(19:15):
second of it?
That's what I've got for youthis week, and I will see you
next week.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
If you like what you're hearing on the podcast,
you gotta come and join us inthe Bloom Room.
This is a year-round membershipwhere we take all of these
concepts and we apply them toreal life in a community where
we have each other's backs andwe bring out the best in each
other.
We're all there to make ourideas real, one idea at a time.
(19:55):
We'll see you in the bloom room.
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