April 4, 2025 • 19 mins
Let’s go back to emotions 101. Your emotions ARE your superpower.
There are three ways that we naturally deal with them; we stuff them down, we act them out, and we buffer (put something else on top of them like work, sex, tv or scrolling, food or booze, or even thinking a lot!). All of those things make our feelings expand and deepen- like pushing a beach ball down underwater, so that eventually it pops out with a lot of force.
The only thing that actually works to move through a feeling, is to get curious, and allow the feeling to exist.
So that’s feelings 101.
In today’s episode, we’re going way beyond feelings 101. Today we’re talking about expanding the limitations of what emotions we’re capable of feeling, and willing to feel.
That’s what happens when we increase our emotional capacity.
Because here’s the deal.
Sometimes, we SIGN UP for increasing our emotional capacity.
We do that because we want to put ourselves out there in the world.
We have an idea we want to make real, a change we want to make in ourselves. We want to grow or expand. When you’re doing that, you’re on two parallel roads of growth.
In one lane, you’re taking new actions. But right there next to it. On the other parallel track, the other growth is happening. You’re expanding your capacity to feel.
What you’ll learn on today’s episode:
- The two new skills you’re building anytime you do something new and different
- Why expanding emotional capacity is essential to forward momentum
- The external signs that will tell you clearly when you need to expand your capacity to feel
- What the payoff is of doing the work to learn to process deeper, harder, darker emotions
- The one question that will reveal the capacity expansion that you need next
Mentioned on this episode:
- Your Feelings Are Your Superpower
- Be a Time Whisperer
How to connect with Marie:
- On the Web | The Local Bloom
- Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
- All Things Marie on LinkTree
JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to the Bloom your Mind podcast, where we take
all of your ideas for what youwant and we turn them into real
things.
I'm your host, certified CoachMarie McDonald.
Let's Hello, everybody andwelcome to episode number 111 of
(00:32):
the Bloom your Mind podcast.
Today we are talking about oneof, if not the primary skill
that it takes to make ideas realin the world, which is the
capacity to feel, expanding ouremotional capacity, because as
(00:54):
we put new things in the world,new things happen as we put
ourselves out there in new anddifferent ways.
The challenges that we face arebigger sometimes, or different,
or harder, and with them comefeelings, our emotional reaction
(01:14):
to whatever is happening.
And it is so easy to see thoseemotional reactions, those big,
hairy emotions that come withfailure or with just putting
ourselves out there and thenbeing like I just did that it's
terrifying With trying anythingnew, it's so easy to feel those
(01:37):
things come up and turn back,and that is what will happen
unless we develop the capacityto feel those emotions.
We will turn back or we willdevelop habits that are not
healthy for us, so that we won'thave to feel those feelings and
(02:01):
we can keep moving on.
Those are basically the twothings that happen.
So let's not do those, let'snot turn back, let's not develop
unhealthy habits that we likeslather on top of our feelings,
so we don't have to feel them,and let's also not become like
raging beasts, you know, and actthem out, take them out on
other people.
Let's instead choose the hero'sjourney of expanding our
(02:25):
emotional capacity.
Because challenges have come uprecently for many of my people
and for me and we've beenworking on this I wanted to
share this skill in this episodewith you.
So challenges, you know, I liketo start with a story.
Challenges have been coming uprecently for me that are newer
to me and, in many ways and onmany levels, bigger than what
(02:46):
I've faced before.
They're real adult problems,the most adult of adult problems
, and they're kind of freaky,deaky.
I've been dealing with thatover the last few months and a
couple nights ago I was feelingreal crappy.
You know I've been going, youknow, like dealing with the ups
(03:12):
and downs of these very adultchallenges that are happening
and having some high highs andlow lows and just working
through it using the tools wetalk about on here, right, but
the other night I was feelinglike real low, just icky.
And then in the middle of thenight my kids woke up and when I
woke up, there I was feelingicky it's not normal for me Kind
(03:33):
of some anxiety, some likedense, dark heaviness, just
feeling ick, and it was thereevery time I woke up in the
night, which was happening a lotbecause my kids were waking up.
Then I wake up in the morningand I felt horrible, not
(03:55):
physically, I felt emotionallyhorrible, and this is not common
for me.
I don't always feel like, youknow, rainbows and unicorns, but
I felt real bad.
So I woke up and I got up.
I get up at real early and Imade my coffee and I did some
stretches and I was gettingready to exercise and I sat down
(04:18):
to meditate a little bit.
Really early in the morningit's still dark out and I
realized that I was doing all ofthese things getting up early,
making my coffee, doing somestretches, getting ready to
exercise, doing the meditationthat are all actions that I'm
taking.
They're great, they'reself-care, they're super
(04:38):
important to me, but they're notfeeling the feeling that's
there and I was like head slapthough, because this is like
what I coach everybody on allthe time.
Right, and this is also what Itell everyone that no matter how
good you get at developing youremotional capacity and managing
(05:04):
your thoughts, you're alwaysgoing to need to work at it.
Hopefully, you will always havepeople around you to support
you, to coach you.
I think everybody needs a coach.
Everybody needs thoughtpartners to support you, groups
and people around you to helpyou, because the teachers of all
these things every teacher thatI've had still has to work at
(05:26):
them.
So here I am like, oh my gosh,these are the literal things
that I am coaching people on.
And I did not realize that I wasbuffering, which is a term we
use to describe doing things sothat you don't have to feel a
feeling.
So then I realize it.
This is what's wrong with mehave to feel a feeling.
(05:46):
So then I realize it.
This is what's wrong with me.
I'm trying to figure out why Ifeel shitty.
Instead of feeling shitty, I'mtrying to work out and meditate
instead of feeling shitty.
I'm buffering and not realizingit.
So I sat down on my cushionswith my candle and my coffee and
I just allowed the feelings.
And when I did, I was like,okay, these are big and new.
(06:09):
So I did what we do.
I got curious about them.
I was like, hey, I can do this.
What's this all about?
What's this feeling that'svisiting?
And in reminding myself thisfeeling is here, I'm able to
(06:30):
remember I am not my feeling.
In reminding myself thisfeeling is here, I remember it's
not going to always be here.
I remember it's not going toalways be here so I can walk
towards the feeling and lookaround, allow it, get curious
(06:55):
about it, feel it in my physicalbody.
It was like a big dark cloudthat I was literally like
walking through and kind ofsifting through, and it got
lighter and lighter.
As I sat with it and justwondered what it was doing there
.
I expanded my emotional capacityand this is what we're talking
about today.
So as we take on new things, aswe expand in the world, we have
(07:18):
to expand with the things thatwe're doing in our internal
world.
We have to expand with thethings that we're doing in our
internal world.
We have to expand our emotionalcapacity.
And some of this happensautomatically-ish in life.
When you partner with someonelong-term, like have
relationships of longer andlonger duration, you have to
(07:38):
expand emotional capacity todeal with all the things that
come up in being with anotherperson, right, it gets more
complex, more intense and youhave to sort of evolve your
ability to manage your emotions.
That when I first got pregnantwith my first child, the day
(08:01):
after I found out I was pregnant, I got a marketing postcard in
the mail that said Parenthood isthe fastest road to
enlightenment, and I read it andI was like huh, you know and I
(08:27):
never forgot it because this isso true this, this like having
children, just really thrustsyou into this world of bigger,
deeper feelings and you eithergot to deal with them or you do
some of the other things wetalked about.
You develop bad habits, right,when you take on
responsibilities like financialdebt in home ownership or roles
at work or otherwise that havemore responsibility.
When we do these things, weorganically kind of increase our
ability to feel the things thatcome along with all that
(08:50):
newness, or I hope we do so.
Some of the new things, the newemotions, are positive emotions
and some of them are hardthings.
If we're talking about havingkids, you know like they're all
the things.
They're the rainbow of emotionsWith relationships, it's all
the things.
And when those new emotions docome up, we have different
(09:12):
options for what we do withthose new levels of emotion.
So I'm going back to emotionalcapacity 101.
And if you want a deep reviewof this, you can go to the
episode your Feelings Are yourSuperpower.
I'm going to do a brief recaphere that with any emotion,
(09:33):
whether it's a new, big onethat's coming from expanding our
horizons, or just the emotionsof life, we have a few ways of
dealing with them and most ofthese happen automatically until
we learn this, to become fluentin emotions and identify what
we're doing.
Number one we stuff them down,pretend they're not there,
ignore them.
Number two we act them out.
(09:55):
So if we're yelling andscreaming at someone, we're not
feeling the emotion, we'reacting it out.
We buffer, which is to putsomething on top of it, like
work or sex or TV or scrollingor food or booze or, in my case,
thinking a lot about it.
And all of those things, all ofthose stuffing it down, acting
(10:18):
it out or buffering, it allmakes the emotion worse or
bigger or more intense, likepushing a beach ball underwater,
and the only thing thatactually works to relieve the
pressure is when we allow thefeeling.
That's emotional capacity 101.
And in that episode you canalso get some tools, and in
(10:40):
other episodes that deal withfeelings, you can get some tools
to actually allow your emotions.
Today we're talking aboutactually pushing up the ceiling
on our limits of which emotionswe're capable of feeling, or the
intensity of emotion that we'recapable of feeling, the
frequency of our ability to feelthose emotions, or whether
(11:03):
we're willing to feel them.
That is what it means toincrease our emotional capacity.
Because here's the dealSometimes we actually sign up
for increasing our emotionalcapacity.
That's what I'm doing, that'swhat everybody in the bloom room
is doing.
We do that because we want toput ourselves out there in the
(11:23):
world in new and different ways.
We have an idea, we want tomake real A change we want to
make to ourselves, we want togrow, we want to expand, we want
to like, create and put thingsout there.
When we do that, we're on twoparallel roads of growth.
On one lane of that road maybeit's one road with two lanes In
(11:44):
one lane, we're taking newactions, we're doing things,
saying things differently, we'reputting ourselves out there,
we're failing forward.
We're taking action.
Some of the things that we'retrying are working and sometimes
they're not working, and that'sall happening.
On that action track we'regrowing and learning and
evolving, but right there nextto it, on another parallel track
(12:06):
, simultaneously, the othergrowth is happening.
It has to happen in order forus to be successful in our
actions.
On that other track, we areexpanding our emotional capacity
.
When we're trying something newout in the world and it doesn't
work and we fail, the fail isnew and it's bigger and we care
(12:26):
a lot about it.
And most of the time it'sharder.
We have to be willing to feelthe feelings that go with it not
working out Sometimes biggerfeelings or more intense ones,
sometimes new ones or harderones or more intense ones,
sometimes new ones or harderones.
They're all expanding ouremotional capacity Because when
we're putting something outthere, we care more about it.
(12:48):
Or maybe it's a more publicsetting that we're acting in,
we're creating in.
Maybe there's more fame ornotoriety, more exposure, more
responsibility, or maybe ourheart's in it more, more
responsibility, or maybe ourheart's in it more.
We have to develop ouremotional capacity as we grow.
So here are some examples Oneof my clients is starting a
(13:11):
local meetup community.
That's really important to thisperson.
They created a post, they wroteall about it, they got feedback
on it and they emailed out toinvite everyone.
People said yes and it'sscheduled.
And my client said people saidyes and it's scheduled.
And my client said, okay, now Iwant to barf, like that day is
coming to me and now I want tocancel it.
(13:31):
Can you tell me what'shappening?
And I said yes, you have to askyourself what is it that I need
to be willing to feel Okay.
So we worked on it together,closed our eyes, went inside.
What is the feeling that goeswith that desire to cancel it?
(13:52):
It was a dark feeling, pressure, and we got curious.
My client went into it, checkedit out, told me about it.
It got lighter and lighter andthen it dissipated and my client
remembered God, I'm not alone,I can do this.
(14:20):
That feeling was a little bitnew, a little bit wacky, but,
like if I just got curious aboutit, it lightened up.
One of my clients is thinkingabout starting a family and,
even though that time is prettyfar away, there are emotions
coming up all over the place.
One of my other clients iswriting a very public memoir and
that client had doubt coming up.
(14:42):
That started to ripple out allover the place, impacting their
sleep, impacting their mood, andthese little flags all over the
place.
So when that happens, whenflags come up in the world
around you, you're starting tobe grumpy.
You're forgetting your keys onyour car or, in your car, your
(15:02):
coffee cup on top of your car.
When these little flags andsigns come up around you, it's
because the feeling that you'renot feeling is rippling out of
you through your actions, andall these little flags that you
see around you are telling youto pause and to ask yourself
what is the feeling I'm notwilling to feel?
(15:22):
What do I need to be willing tofeel in order to move through
this?
What do I need to be willing tofeel in order to move through
this?
So the client starting thegroup moved through the feeling
and realized that they're notalone.
My client's thinking aboutstarting a family.
The emotions actually when thatclient processed them lightened
(15:47):
and they realized they're okayand super supported and that
self-doubt comes up when theycare a lot about things.
When one of my client who'swriting the memoir had that
doubt come up, that started toripple out all over the place.
They realized they'resurrounded by people that want
them to succeed in the bloomroom and in other circles that
(16:10):
are supporting that.
Author.
It takes getting still andbeing willing to feel it to find
that out.
Increasing emotional capacityis a lifelong journey and when
we skip this step we either turnaround on the path, we develop
really unhealthy habits or weturn into somebody that we don't
(16:32):
really like because we'reacting our emotions out all over
the place, we're stuffing themdown and getting really weird
and pent up.
So as you try new things, asyou follow more and more of your
passions, as you're moreauthentic and more visible in
the world, this is the skill tobuild.
My last episode being a timewhisperer.
It's all about doing, aboutplanning time, prioritizing the
(16:56):
things that are important to you, getting your actions aligned
and working for you and, just asimportant as that, happening
right alongside it is thisDevelop your emotional capacity.
And let me just say going silent, getting quiet, asking for help
, taking a couple days, askingfor what you need, gathering
(17:19):
your forces around you, yoursupport system, literally not
speaking for a little bit.
All of that is okay.
As you answer the question,what is it that I need?
To be willing to feel and go inwith curiosity to see what you
find, without making it good orbad with your thinking.
(17:40):
Nothing is either good or bad,but thinking makes it so.
So, just so, just how.
It is just the, the feeling thatexists.
Not good or bad.
What do you notice?
What's it trying to show you?
What's it protecting you from?
What does it want you to know?
(18:01):
How can you embrace it and knowit's there but it's not you?
How can you be with it?
Get curious and keep walkingdown that road.
(18:23):
That's what I've got for youthis week, and I will see you
(18:51):
next week to real life, in acommunity where we have each
other's backs and we bring outthe best in each other.
We're all there to make ourideas real, one idea at a time.
I'll see you in the bloom room,thank you.
Welcome to the Bloom your Mind podcast, where we take
all of your ideas for what youwant and we turn them into real
things.
I'm your host, certified CoachMarie McDonald.
Let's Hello, everybody andwelcome to episode number 111 of
(00:32):
the Bloom your Mind podcast.
Today we are talking about oneof, if not the primary skill
that it takes to make ideas realin the world, which is the
capacity to feel, expanding ouremotional capacity, because as
(00:54):
we put new things in the world,new things happen as we put
ourselves out there in new anddifferent ways.
The challenges that we face arebigger sometimes, or different,
or harder, and with them comefeelings, our emotional reaction
(01:14):
to whatever is happening.
And it is so easy to see thoseemotional reactions, those big,
hairy emotions that come withfailure or with just putting
ourselves out there and thenbeing like I just did that it's
terrifying With trying anythingnew, it's so easy to feel those
(01:37):
things come up and turn back,and that is what will happen
unless we develop the capacityto feel those emotions.
We will turn back or we willdevelop habits that are not
healthy for us, so that we won'thave to feel those feelings and
(02:01):
we can keep moving on.
Those are basically the twothings that happen.
So let's not do those, let'snot turn back, let's not develop
unhealthy habits that we likeslather on top of our feelings,
so we don't have to feel them,and let's also not become like
raging beasts, you know, and actthem out, take them out on
other people.
Let's instead choose the hero'sjourney of expanding our
(02:25):
emotional capacity.
Because challenges have come uprecently for many of my people
and for me and we've beenworking on this I wanted to
share this skill in this episodewith you.
So challenges, you know, I liketo start with a story.
Challenges have been coming uprecently for me that are newer
to me and, in many ways and onmany levels, bigger than what
(02:46):
I've faced before.
They're real adult problems,the most adult of adult problems
, and they're kind of freaky,deaky.
I've been dealing with thatover the last few months and a
couple nights ago I was feelingreal crappy.
You know I've been going, youknow, like dealing with the ups
(03:12):
and downs of these very adultchallenges that are happening
and having some high highs andlow lows and just working
through it using the tools wetalk about on here, right, but
the other night I was feelinglike real low, just icky.
And then in the middle of thenight my kids woke up and when I
woke up, there I was feelingicky it's not normal for me Kind
(03:33):
of some anxiety, some likedense, dark heaviness, just
feeling ick, and it was thereevery time I woke up in the
night, which was happening a lotbecause my kids were waking up.
Then I wake up in the morningand I felt horrible, not
(03:55):
physically, I felt emotionallyhorrible, and this is not common
for me.
I don't always feel like, youknow, rainbows and unicorns, but
I felt real bad.
So I woke up and I got up.
I get up at real early and Imade my coffee and I did some
stretches and I was gettingready to exercise and I sat down
(04:18):
to meditate a little bit.
Really early in the morningit's still dark out and I
realized that I was doing all ofthese things getting up early,
making my coffee, doing somestretches, getting ready to
exercise, doing the meditationthat are all actions that I'm
taking.
They're great, they'reself-care, they're super
(04:38):
important to me, but they're notfeeling the feeling that's
there and I was like head slapthough, because this is like
what I coach everybody on allthe time.
Right, and this is also what Itell everyone that no matter how
good you get at developing youremotional capacity and managing
(05:04):
your thoughts, you're alwaysgoing to need to work at it.
Hopefully, you will always havepeople around you to support
you, to coach you.
I think everybody needs a coach.
Everybody needs thoughtpartners to support you, groups
and people around you to helpyou, because the teachers of all
these things every teacher thatI've had still has to work at
(05:26):
them.
So here I am like, oh my gosh,these are the literal things
that I am coaching people on.
And I did not realize that I wasbuffering, which is a term we
use to describe doing things sothat you don't have to feel a
feeling.
So then I realize it.
This is what's wrong with mehave to feel a feeling.
(05:46):
So then I realize it.
This is what's wrong with me.
I'm trying to figure out why Ifeel shitty.
Instead of feeling shitty, I'mtrying to work out and meditate
instead of feeling shitty.
I'm buffering and not realizingit.
So I sat down on my cushionswith my candle and my coffee and
I just allowed the feelings.
And when I did, I was like,okay, these are big and new.
(06:09):
So I did what we do.
I got curious about them.
I was like, hey, I can do this.
What's this all about?
What's this feeling that'svisiting?
And in reminding myself thisfeeling is here, I'm able to
(06:30):
remember I am not my feeling.
In reminding myself thisfeeling is here, I remember it's
not going to always be here.
I remember it's not going toalways be here so I can walk
towards the feeling and lookaround, allow it, get curious
(06:55):
about it, feel it in my physicalbody.
It was like a big dark cloudthat I was literally like
walking through and kind ofsifting through, and it got
lighter and lighter.
As I sat with it and justwondered what it was doing there
.
I expanded my emotional capacityand this is what we're talking
about today.
So as we take on new things, aswe expand in the world, we have
(07:18):
to expand with the things thatwe're doing in our internal
world.
We have to expand with thethings that we're doing in our
internal world.
We have to expand our emotionalcapacity.
And some of this happensautomatically-ish in life.
When you partner with someonelong-term, like have
relationships of longer andlonger duration, you have to
(07:38):
expand emotional capacity todeal with all the things that
come up in being with anotherperson, right, it gets more
complex, more intense and youhave to sort of evolve your
ability to manage your emotions.
That when I first got pregnantwith my first child, the day
(08:01):
after I found out I was pregnant, I got a marketing postcard in
the mail that said Parenthood isthe fastest road to
enlightenment, and I read it andI was like huh, you know and I
(08:27):
never forgot it because this isso true this, this like having
children, just really thrustsyou into this world of bigger,
deeper feelings and you eithergot to deal with them or you do
some of the other things wetalked about.
You develop bad habits, right,when you take on
responsibilities like financialdebt in home ownership or roles
at work or otherwise that havemore responsibility.
When we do these things, weorganically kind of increase our
ability to feel the things thatcome along with all that
(08:50):
newness, or I hope we do so.
Some of the new things, the newemotions, are positive emotions
and some of them are hardthings.
If we're talking about havingkids, you know like they're all
the things.
They're the rainbow of emotionsWith relationships, it's all
the things.
And when those new emotions docome up, we have different
(09:12):
options for what we do withthose new levels of emotion.
So I'm going back to emotionalcapacity 101.
And if you want a deep reviewof this, you can go to the
episode your Feelings Are yourSuperpower.
I'm going to do a brief recaphere that with any emotion,
(09:33):
whether it's a new, big onethat's coming from expanding our
horizons, or just the emotionsof life, we have a few ways of
dealing with them and most ofthese happen automatically until
we learn this, to become fluentin emotions and identify what
we're doing.
Number one we stuff them down,pretend they're not there,
ignore them.
Number two we act them out.
(09:55):
So if we're yelling andscreaming at someone, we're not
feeling the emotion, we'reacting it out.
We buffer, which is to putsomething on top of it, like
work or sex or TV or scrollingor food or booze or, in my case,
thinking a lot about it.
And all of those things, all ofthose stuffing it down, acting
(10:18):
it out or buffering, it allmakes the emotion worse or
bigger or more intense, likepushing a beach ball underwater,
and the only thing thatactually works to relieve the
pressure is when we allow thefeeling.
That's emotional capacity 101.
And in that episode you canalso get some tools, and in
(10:40):
other episodes that deal withfeelings, you can get some tools
to actually allow your emotions.
Today we're talking aboutactually pushing up the ceiling
on our limits of which emotionswe're capable of feeling, or the
intensity of emotion that we'recapable of feeling, the
frequency of our ability to feelthose emotions, or whether
(11:03):
we're willing to feel them.
That is what it means toincrease our emotional capacity.
Because here's the dealSometimes we actually sign up
for increasing our emotionalcapacity.
That's what I'm doing, that'swhat everybody in the bloom room
is doing.
We do that because we want toput ourselves out there in the
(11:23):
world in new and different ways.
We have an idea, we want tomake real A change we want to
make to ourselves, we want togrow, we want to expand, we want
to like, create and put thingsout there.
When we do that, we're on twoparallel roads of growth.
On one lane of that road maybeit's one road with two lanes In
(11:44):
one lane, we're taking newactions, we're doing things,
saying things differently, we'reputting ourselves out there,
we're failing forward.
We're taking action.
Some of the things that we'retrying are working and sometimes
they're not working, and that'sall happening.
On that action track we'regrowing and learning and
evolving, but right there nextto it, on another parallel track
(12:06):
, simultaneously, the othergrowth is happening.
It has to happen in order forus to be successful in our
actions.
On that other track, we areexpanding our emotional capacity
.
When we're trying something newout in the world and it doesn't
work and we fail, the fail isnew and it's bigger and we care
(12:26):
a lot about it.
And most of the time it'sharder.
We have to be willing to feelthe feelings that go with it not
working out Sometimes biggerfeelings or more intense ones,
sometimes new ones or harderones or more intense ones,
sometimes new ones or harderones.
They're all expanding ouremotional capacity Because when
we're putting something outthere, we care more about it.
(12:48):
Or maybe it's a more publicsetting that we're acting in,
we're creating in.
Maybe there's more fame ornotoriety, more exposure, more
responsibility, or maybe ourheart's in it more, more
responsibility, or maybe ourheart's in it more.
We have to develop ouremotional capacity as we grow.
So here are some examples Oneof my clients is starting a
(13:11):
local meetup community.
That's really important to thisperson.
They created a post, they wroteall about it, they got feedback
on it and they emailed out toinvite everyone.
People said yes and it'sscheduled.
And my client said people saidyes and it's scheduled.
And my client said, okay, now Iwant to barf, like that day is
coming to me and now I want tocancel it.
(13:31):
Can you tell me what'shappening?
And I said yes, you have to askyourself what is it that I need
to be willing to feel Okay.
So we worked on it together,closed our eyes, went inside.
What is the feeling that goeswith that desire to cancel it?
(13:52):
It was a dark feeling, pressure, and we got curious.
My client went into it, checkedit out, told me about it.
It got lighter and lighter andthen it dissipated and my client
remembered God, I'm not alone,I can do this.
(14:20):
That feeling was a little bitnew, a little bit wacky, but,
like if I just got curious aboutit, it lightened up.
One of my clients is thinkingabout starting a family and,
even though that time is prettyfar away, there are emotions
coming up all over the place.
One of my other clients iswriting a very public memoir and
that client had doubt coming up.
(14:42):
That started to ripple out allover the place, impacting their
sleep, impacting their mood, andthese little flags all over the
place.
So when that happens, whenflags come up in the world
around you, you're starting tobe grumpy.
You're forgetting your keys onyour car or, in your car, your
(15:02):
coffee cup on top of your car.
When these little flags andsigns come up around you, it's
because the feeling that you'renot feeling is rippling out of
you through your actions, andall these little flags that you
see around you are telling youto pause and to ask yourself
what is the feeling I'm notwilling to feel?
(15:22):
What do I need to be willing tofeel in order to move through
this?
What do I need to be willing tofeel in order to move through
this?
So the client starting thegroup moved through the feeling
and realized that they're notalone.
My client's thinking aboutstarting a family.
The emotions actually when thatclient processed them lightened
(15:47):
and they realized they're okayand super supported and that
self-doubt comes up when theycare a lot about things.
When one of my client who'swriting the memoir had that
doubt come up, that started toripple out all over the place.
They realized they'resurrounded by people that want
them to succeed in the bloomroom and in other circles that
(16:10):
are supporting that.
Author.
It takes getting still andbeing willing to feel it to find
that out.
Increasing emotional capacityis a lifelong journey and when
we skip this step we either turnaround on the path, we develop
really unhealthy habits or weturn into somebody that we don't
(16:32):
really like because we'reacting our emotions out all over
the place, we're stuffing themdown and getting really weird
and pent up.
So as you try new things, asyou follow more and more of your
passions, as you're moreauthentic and more visible in
the world, this is the skill tobuild.
My last episode being a timewhisperer.
It's all about doing, aboutplanning time, prioritizing the
(16:56):
things that are important to you, getting your actions aligned
and working for you and, just asimportant as that, happening
right alongside it is thisDevelop your emotional capacity.
And let me just say going silent, getting quiet, asking for help
, taking a couple days, askingfor what you need, gathering
(17:19):
your forces around you, yoursupport system, literally not
speaking for a little bit.
All of that is okay.
As you answer the question,what is it that I need?
To be willing to feel and go inwith curiosity to see what you
find, without making it good orbad with your thinking.
(17:40):
Nothing is either good or bad,but thinking makes it so.
So, just so, just how.
It is just the, the feeling thatexists.
Not good or bad.
What do you notice?
What's it trying to show you?
What's it protecting you from?
What does it want you to know?
(18:01):
How can you embrace it and knowit's there but it's not you?
How can you be with it?
Get curious and keep walkingdown that road.
(18:23):
That's what I've got for youthis week, and I will see you
(18:51):
next week to real life, in acommunity where we have each
other's backs and we bring outthe best in each other.
We're all there to make ourideas real, one idea at a time.
I'll see you in the bloom room,thank you.
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