April 18, 2025 • 20 mins
We were camping in the mountains with a group of 20 kids and their parents, when the ground began to shake. The first things I noticed were quivering leaves on the trees around us, followed by a soft rumbling that can only mean one thing in SoCal….there’s an earthquake. The children had all kinds of reactions. Some were excited, some were curious. Some screamed and asked to be picked up. We soothed them, gathered them, and came together to find out what we could, to plan and to connect.
I’ve been in my share of earthquakes, having always lived in California. This one in particular though, is one that I will never forget. I know that the children who were there won’t either, simply because we were together. They were surrounded by adults who cared for them, processed with friends who were standing beside them, and told the story again and again with the group.
While the earthquake may have been the most dramatic moment of this camping trip, it was only a tiny example of many examples of belonging. From CEOs creating annual “Framily” traditions, to women’s groups that have lasted over a decade, I heard example after example of people creating belonging in the communities they’re a part of. This single effort, is at the heart of what drives us all.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
- How every opportunity to increase belonging starts with a single idea
- Why unique opportunities for connection strengthen communities
- Examples of long-term friendship formats
- The value of longevity in group connection
- Two questions that can increase belonging in your own life
How to connect with Marie:
- On the Web | The Local Bloom
- Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
- All Things Marie on LinkTree
JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to the Bloom your Mind Podcast, where we take
all of your ideas for what youwant and we turn them into real
things.
I'm your host, certified CoachMarie McDonald.
Let's get into it.
Hello everybody, welcome toepisode 123 of the Bloom your
(00:32):
Mind podcast, where we talkabout being together, where we
talk about belonging.
I was putting together acamping trip lately and I'm
going to tell you about thiswhole story as in a way of sort
of illustrating through ananecdote this concept of
(00:55):
belonging and being together.
So it started with me puttingan invitation out to a group of
families about 30 families, 28families maybe to go on a
camping trip.
I had based this idea in thefact that I've gone on camping
(01:15):
trips with.
I'm not like a huge camper.
I did grow up camping with myfamily when I was a kid and with
my extended family, and I dolove the mountains and I do love
nature.
Camping specifically, I don'tknow.
It's cool, it's kind of takes alot of work and there's a lot
of setup.
I guess if it were mypreference, I'd stay in a cabin
somewhere for sure, you know,and like take hikes and stuff,
(01:38):
but I like running water, I likea bed, but I'm down for camping
.
I'm just saying it's not likemy deep passion, right.
I know some people are superpassionate about camping.
I'm like, all right, let's doit, especially if somebody else
is excited about it.
But there's a group of mydaughter's friends that love to
go camping and in our schoolcommunity our children go
(02:00):
through first to eighth grade inthe same kid cohort and so it's
really cool to go camping withthese groups of parents that
we've and kids that we've gonecamping with since we were in
first grade, because we buildthese relationships as adults
with the other kids in thecommunity.
And then when they see us inthe parking lot or at birthday
(02:22):
party or whatever, they come andsay, hey, can you help me undo
my drink lid, can you help mefind something to eat?
And a parent is more likely tosay, hey, can you pick up my
child, can you give them a ride.
It builds trust, it buildsrelationships and it builds a
little village so that we canall lean into each other in the
good times and the bad.
(02:42):
This camping experience has beenpretty fundamental to building
that connection, building thatvillage, because we go somewhere
, we set up little homes, we goto sleep together, we eat
together, break bread together,right, multiple times a day.
We wake up together.
There are challenges that comeup and then over the years,
families separate, new peoplecome in, people change.
(03:07):
We've actually lost one of ournumber and have supported that
family as they lost one of theirfamily members.
It's a community that gathersaround and support like a little
village.
So my son is in second gradeand because this has been so
meaningful and wonderful for us,I reached out to that group and
(03:27):
you know the other group islike five families, six families
maybe.
So I thought maybe five or sixfamilies would say yes and I
reached out to the WhatsAppgroup that we have for that
class.
18 families said yes.
I think I've told part of thisstory before in the podcast.
So these 18 families are comingand I'm like this is
Campapalooza Now.
(03:49):
This is turning from just likegetting a Friday afternoon
getting all our camping stuffout of the garage to like
spreadsheets with Venmo andcamping pairs for different
sites and meal plans.
I mean so much right and mealplans.
I mean so much right.
(04:09):
And so we go on Sunday night,the night before our first day
of spring break, and we go outto these campsites and we meet
the families out there.
I would say about 15 familiesended up coming.
And there we are for two days,camping two days and two nights
with all of these people that wedon't know that well, you know,
to begin to forge this littlevillage of connection.
(04:32):
As we were out there, we hadthe experience building fires
together, setting up theselittle homes together, breaking
bread together, waking uptogether, brushing teeth
together, making coffee together, being without makeup or
without you know, a showertogether with people you don't
know that well, is wonderful.
(04:53):
And then, in the middle ofSaturday morning, we're all
standing around.
There are kids in hammocks,some of us are, you know,
cleaning up from breakfast.
We're getting ready to go downto the river and all of the
(05:14):
sudden the earth starts shaking.
We see up in the trees, I lookup in the trees and there are
these small, tiny leaves andthey start quivering in this
queer way.
They're all quivering next toeach other in this like blanket
of shimmery movement.
And I look around and I seemore in every tree.
All the leaves are shimmeringand quivering and I hear this
telltale rumble in the earthright, I know this sound because
(05:41):
I've lived in SouthernCalifornia my entire life,
except for eight years in theBay Area, I've been in big
earthquakes and littleearthquakes.
I know this sound, but thereare 25 children here and they
don't know this sound.
So all the children havedifferent reactions Some are
excited, some are giggling, someshriek, some scream.
(06:04):
All of the parents havedifferent reactions.
Some are excited, some aregiggling, some shriek, some
scream.
All of the parents havedifferent reactions.
Some are curious, some are justalert, some are very afraid.
Right, we all gather around, wefind our children and we sort of
gather into a little bit of acircle or a couple of different
places where we have a couplecircles and we figure out what's
(06:32):
happening.
I noticed, as we did theresearch about you know what
size earthquake was that, wherewas the epicenter?
I call my parents to make surethat they're okay.
I noticed that there'sadrenaline.
You know I felt very calm thewhole time, which often happens
to me in emergencies.
I felt very calm, very logical,and then, about five minutes
later, I notice I'm shaking alittle bit, like there's
adrenaline that went through mysystem.
(06:54):
All of these kids had thisexperience of this earthquake
that ended up actually having anepicenter that was pretty close
to exactly where we were, whichis why it felt so strong.
An epicenter that was prettyclose to exactly where we were,
which is why it felt so strong.
We solved the problem togetheras an adult community, as all
the parents.
We were about to go down to theriver, which is like little
waterfalls and large boulders.
(07:15):
We say, okay, let's give it afew hours and see if there are
aftershocks, let's rearrange theplan for the day.
The kids talk story.
They tell each other.
This is my experience with it.
I felt it, this is what washappening.
I thought it was a truck, youknow, and the parents, all sort
of like, release the stress andthe tension of experiencing this
earthquake together.
(07:36):
Later on, a few days afterwards,when we got home and we all had
, you know, our cell serviceagain we saw this video of the
San Diego zoo and the elephantsat the San Diego zoo and how all
of them did what elephants doin the wild during this
earthquake, where they allgathered around into a circle
with their backs together andthe small children in the middle
(07:58):
of the circle so that theycould scan for any threats and
be ready for them.
And it occurred to me that'skind of what we did.
You know we all felt the quakeand we gathered together.
I saw my daughter, who is 12,go by with us.
You know she was walking pastme with an eight-year-old that
had been scared.
(08:18):
That said pick me up.
And she picked up this littlegirl and carried her.
Everybody just took care ofeach other as this earthquake
happened.
We will never forget thatearthquake experience.
As I said, I've experienced manyearthquakes now, having lived
in Southern California, but thisone will always stand out in my
mind because we experienced ittogether.
(08:39):
The kids will always remembertheir experience of this
earthquake because we weretogether.
You know, the earthquake wasone element of so many amazing
parts of being in this community.
For these few days and after wegot back from camping it was
(09:00):
actually last night we got backand I got so many texts from so
many families that said thankyou so much.
There were messages going backand forth on the WhatsApp last
night and this morning saying,although I'm glad I'm in my bed,
you know, and I'm glad I'mwaking up in the comfort of my
own home, I miss everyone.
I miss the sounds of yourvoices, I miss the stories, I
(09:23):
miss the sound of littlegiggling kids trying to go to
sleep in their tent at night.
That feeling of being togetherwas so strong for everyone and
they just said thank you, thankyou for bringing us together,
and it just made me think aboutthis thing that happens so often
in my life.
I noticed that I create theseways of people coming together
(09:46):
really naturally, and the reasonI wanted to talk about it on
the podcast is because I seesuch a desire for this coming
together from all the peoplearound me.
I do monarchy rituals for youngwomen who are experiencing
their first bleed.
I do the bloom room, of course,for people to turn ideas into
real things.
I do host yoga classes andother events at my house that
(10:07):
are just people coming together.
I created a maker's market atour school, but all of these
different experiences end upwith people saying thank you for
bringing us together.
I'm just doing it because I seesomething, you know, a fun way
for us all to hang out, but Iget these deep thank yous and
(10:29):
what strikes me about these isthat they're very aligned with
the ideas that I see peopletrying to make real in the bloom
room and outside of the bloomroom Ideas for bringing people
together.
There's someone in the bloomroom that lives in Las Vegas and
he's working on bringing adultstogether in a community there.
(10:50):
There are people that areleading women's groups and sound
healings in my community that Iget invited to all the time.
So there are many ideas aroundme that are becoming real for
bringing people together.
But the other thing Iexperienced so much of is the
expression of a desire thathasn't been answered yet by an
(11:14):
idea coming into fruition, butjust the desire for more
belonging, for more beingtogether.
I see it in so many of thepeople around me and on this
camping trip I saw manydifferent levels of this idea
being real.
My husband and I went for awalk around the campground and
(11:37):
as we walked by, you know, wewalked by different camp spots,
different little families,different groups camping, and
all of a sudden we're walking bythis copse of trees and we hear
expecto patronum and we look ateach other.
We're like that's our son'svoice and we look into the trees
and he's running by with threeother kids in this universe.
(11:59):
That was so real for them.
They were in this imaginaryHarry Potter game and we were
watching them and just crackingup at how real their game felt,
and this was an experience wehad throughout the two days and
two nights where the kids wereplaying in this way.
That just felt so real to themand they were running in this
(12:23):
way.
That was so wild and so free.
I would be sitting with parentsand they would just say to each
other if I have this when I wasa kid, I would be so happy to
just be with these other kids inthis way where no one's
helicoptering around you, withthese other kids in this way
where no one's helicopteringaround you, where you have two
(12:43):
days of just being with oneanother.
I sat down at the fire with oneof the parents that was there.
He's a CEO, really interestingguy, and he was talking about a
couple of things about howintentional he is about bringing
his people in his life together, how every single Wednesday
night, he and his girlfriendhave the same couple that they
want to make sure are lifelongfriends and they never lose each
(13:07):
other.
He has them over for dinnerevery single Wednesday night and
they've made a pact that itnever gets canceled.
He's doing an annual event withhis framily, which is friends
that feel like family, like 15of them where he's really
intentionally creating an annualexperience that involves a card
(13:28):
game and all kinds of differentelements to bond them that
he'll ask them to do withoutfail every year to bring this
community together in the sameway that I'm describing on the
camping trip, where we wake uptogether, we go to sleep
together, we break breadtogether, we go through
earthquakes and losses andcelebrations together.
(13:48):
He's built companies with veryintentional cultures and he's
really trying to bring that intohis own life and build the
friendship cultures of thepeople that are dearest to him.
There's a different woman thatwas on this camping trip.
That's a dear friend of mineand she has a group of women
that has met for happy hourevery single Wednesday night for
(14:13):
12 years.
She says they've gone throughfirst marriages and second
marriages and losses anddivorces and celebrations and
they just carry each otherthrough it and it means
everything to them.
I heard about example afterexample of these small
communities that people havecreated so intentionally to
(14:37):
increase their sense ofbelonging and togetherness, and
at the end of this camping tripit was the last night we
gathered around the fire andthere were so many wonderful
memories.
There was this one time wherewe ended up after a few hours.
(15:01):
We ended up going to the waterand the kids.
I mean it's kind of.
You know, different parentshave different levels of comfort
with this area.
There's lots of big boulders,there's lots of water.
The kids can slide on the wetrocks.
They have to be really careful.
You have to watch.
You know.
I said every parent has yourown kid when we go down there,
because every kid has adifferent comfort level and
(15:22):
every parent does too.
Kids got scraped, you know,just a little bit.
Kids jumped in freezing coldwater and cheered each other on.
Some, you know, took a reallylong time to get there and
really depended on the supportof the other kids to say you can
do it, you can do it, and thenthey would jump into this
freezing cold water.
(15:42):
We all ran back to camp and Imade them all hot chocolate.
So then on that last night wewere all around the fire and we
were going to take a group photoand I had a little like
surprise in my pocket of theselittle packets that make the
fire have blue flames.
So I was going to do thislittle fun thing with the kids,
because they were so into beingwizards and Harry Potter through
(16:04):
the whole experience together.
As we were waiting foreverybody to get there, I said
okay, everybody, point yourwands at the fire and close your
eyes and say this magic spell.
And while they all had theireyes closed, I put the blue
packets in there and part of thespell had the word blue and
they opened their eyes and therewas blue fire there in front of
(16:25):
them and we all giggled andlaughed.
And as we were waiting for acouple of the last people to get
there for the group photo, Ihad them.
You know all shout out if theyhad a good time.
I had them howl like coyotesand then I said do you want to
come back here next year?
And they shouted yes.
I said what was your favoritepart?
They said the water, going downto the water, and I knew
(16:49):
hearing those cheers and hearingthe yells and seeing their
smiles.
This is like core memory stuffand it's not about anything
except for being together, asense of belonging for these
little ones with little twigsfrom the bushes that have become
(17:09):
wands, and the courage that ittook to jump in cold water and
experiencing an earthquake wherea whole community of parents
some that you know and some thatyou don't came around you, to
protect you, waking up together,going to sleep together and
feeling a sense of belonging.
Again, I see this as a throughline in every book that I read.
(17:36):
In every idea that someone'smaking real, it's somewhere in
there the desire for belongingor the desire to create
belonging for others.
Belonging or the desire tocreate belonging for others.
And so today, as we talk aboutthis on the podcast, I want to
put the question out to you whatis one way that you can
(17:59):
increase belonging in your world, one way that you can put an
idea out there that invitespeople in to be together?
What's an idea that you havefor one thing that can create
belonging, can create anopportunity for people to be
(18:21):
together, if belonging is toobig of a word, just some idea
for how to bring people together, how to invite them to join
something.
That's my first question for youtoday, and my second question
for you is what's one idea thatsomeone else has had that you
can say yes to, an invitationsomeone's put out there, an idea
(18:46):
that someone said let's go tocoffee, an invitation that you
were like, ah, I don't know if Iwant to go to.
What's one way that you can sayyes to being together and to
belonging that maybe you haven'tsaid yes to yet.
Those are my two offerings foryou today.
That's what I've got for you,and I will see you next week.
(19:10):
If you like what you're hearingon the podcast, you got to come
and join us in the Bloom Room.
This is a year-round membershipwhere we take all of these
concepts and we apply them toreal life in a community where
(19:32):
we have each other's backs andwe bring out the best in each
other.
We're all there to make ourideas real, one idea at a time.
I'll see you in the Bloom Room.
Bloom room.
Welcome to the Bloom your Mind Podcast, where we take
all of your ideas for what youwant and we turn them into real
things.
I'm your host, certified CoachMarie McDonald.
Let's get into it.
Hello everybody, welcome toepisode 123 of the Bloom your
(00:32):
Mind podcast, where we talkabout being together, where we
talk about belonging.
I was putting together acamping trip lately and I'm
going to tell you about thiswhole story as in a way of sort
of illustrating through ananecdote this concept of
(00:55):
belonging and being together.
So it started with me puttingan invitation out to a group of
families about 30 families, 28families maybe to go on a
camping trip.
I had based this idea in thefact that I've gone on camping
(01:15):
trips with.
I'm not like a huge camper.
I did grow up camping with myfamily when I was a kid and with
my extended family, and I dolove the mountains and I do love
nature.
Camping specifically, I don'tknow.
It's cool, it's kind of takes alot of work and there's a lot
of setup.
I guess if it were mypreference, I'd stay in a cabin
somewhere for sure, you know,and like take hikes and stuff,
(01:38):
but I like running water, I likea bed, but I'm down for camping
.
I'm just saying it's not likemy deep passion, right.
I know some people are superpassionate about camping.
I'm like, all right, let's doit, especially if somebody else
is excited about it.
But there's a group of mydaughter's friends that love to
go camping and in our schoolcommunity our children go
(02:00):
through first to eighth grade inthe same kid cohort and so it's
really cool to go camping withthese groups of parents that
we've and kids that we've gonecamping with since we were in
first grade, because we buildthese relationships as adults
with the other kids in thecommunity.
And then when they see us inthe parking lot or at birthday
(02:22):
party or whatever, they come andsay, hey, can you help me undo
my drink lid, can you help mefind something to eat?
And a parent is more likely tosay, hey, can you pick up my
child, can you give them a ride.
It builds trust, it buildsrelationships and it builds a
little village so that we canall lean into each other in the
good times and the bad.
(02:42):
This camping experience has beenpretty fundamental to building
that connection, building thatvillage, because we go somewhere
, we set up little homes, we goto sleep together, we eat
together, break bread together,right, multiple times a day.
We wake up together.
There are challenges that comeup and then over the years,
families separate, new peoplecome in, people change.
(03:07):
We've actually lost one of ournumber and have supported that
family as they lost one of theirfamily members.
It's a community that gathersaround and support like a little
village.
So my son is in second gradeand because this has been so
meaningful and wonderful for us,I reached out to that group and
(03:27):
you know the other group islike five families, six families
maybe.
So I thought maybe five or sixfamilies would say yes and I
reached out to the WhatsAppgroup that we have for that
class.
18 families said yes.
I think I've told part of thisstory before in the podcast.
So these 18 families are comingand I'm like this is
Campapalooza Now.
(03:49):
This is turning from just likegetting a Friday afternoon
getting all our camping stuffout of the garage to like
spreadsheets with Venmo andcamping pairs for different
sites and meal plans.
I mean so much right and mealplans.
I mean so much right.
(04:09):
And so we go on Sunday night,the night before our first day
of spring break, and we go outto these campsites and we meet
the families out there.
I would say about 15 familiesended up coming.
And there we are for two days,camping two days and two nights
with all of these people that wedon't know that well, you know,
to begin to forge this littlevillage of connection.
(04:32):
As we were out there, we hadthe experience building fires
together, setting up theselittle homes together, breaking
bread together, waking uptogether, brushing teeth
together, making coffee together, being without makeup or
without you know, a showertogether with people you don't
know that well, is wonderful.
(04:53):
And then, in the middle ofSaturday morning, we're all
standing around.
There are kids in hammocks,some of us are, you know,
cleaning up from breakfast.
We're getting ready to go downto the river and all of the
(05:14):
sudden the earth starts shaking.
We see up in the trees, I lookup in the trees and there are
these small, tiny leaves andthey start quivering in this
queer way.
They're all quivering next toeach other in this like blanket
of shimmery movement.
And I look around and I seemore in every tree.
All the leaves are shimmeringand quivering and I hear this
telltale rumble in the earthright, I know this sound because
(05:41):
I've lived in SouthernCalifornia my entire life,
except for eight years in theBay Area, I've been in big
earthquakes and littleearthquakes.
I know this sound, but thereare 25 children here and they
don't know this sound.
So all the children havedifferent reactions Some are
excited, some are giggling, someshriek, some scream.
(06:04):
All of the parents havedifferent reactions.
Some are excited, some aregiggling, some shriek, some
scream.
All of the parents havedifferent reactions.
Some are curious, some are justalert, some are very afraid.
Right, we all gather around, wefind our children and we sort of
gather into a little bit of acircle or a couple of different
places where we have a couplecircles and we figure out what's
(06:32):
happening.
I noticed, as we did theresearch about you know what
size earthquake was that, wherewas the epicenter?
I call my parents to make surethat they're okay.
I noticed that there'sadrenaline.
You know I felt very calm thewhole time, which often happens
to me in emergencies.
I felt very calm, very logical,and then, about five minutes
later, I notice I'm shaking alittle bit, like there's
adrenaline that went through mysystem.
(06:54):
All of these kids had thisexperience of this earthquake
that ended up actually having anepicenter that was pretty close
to exactly where we were, whichis why it felt so strong.
An epicenter that was prettyclose to exactly where we were,
which is why it felt so strong.
We solved the problem togetheras an adult community, as all
the parents.
We were about to go down to theriver, which is like little
waterfalls and large boulders.
(07:15):
We say, okay, let's give it afew hours and see if there are
aftershocks, let's rearrange theplan for the day.
The kids talk story.
They tell each other.
This is my experience with it.
I felt it, this is what washappening.
I thought it was a truck, youknow, and the parents, all sort
of like, release the stress andthe tension of experiencing this
earthquake together.
(07:36):
Later on, a few days afterwards,when we got home and we all had
, you know, our cell serviceagain we saw this video of the
San Diego zoo and the elephantsat the San Diego zoo and how all
of them did what elephants doin the wild during this
earthquake, where they allgathered around into a circle
with their backs together andthe small children in the middle
(07:58):
of the circle so that theycould scan for any threats and
be ready for them.
And it occurred to me that'skind of what we did.
You know we all felt the quakeand we gathered together.
I saw my daughter, who is 12,go by with us.
You know she was walking pastme with an eight-year-old that
had been scared.
(08:18):
That said pick me up.
And she picked up this littlegirl and carried her.
Everybody just took care ofeach other as this earthquake
happened.
We will never forget thatearthquake experience.
As I said, I've experienced manyearthquakes now, having lived
in Southern California, but thisone will always stand out in my
mind because we experienced ittogether.
(08:39):
The kids will always remembertheir experience of this
earthquake because we weretogether.
You know, the earthquake wasone element of so many amazing
parts of being in this community.
For these few days and after wegot back from camping it was
(09:00):
actually last night we got backand I got so many texts from so
many families that said thankyou so much.
There were messages going backand forth on the WhatsApp last
night and this morning saying,although I'm glad I'm in my bed,
you know, and I'm glad I'mwaking up in the comfort of my
own home, I miss everyone.
I miss the sounds of yourvoices, I miss the stories, I
(09:23):
miss the sound of littlegiggling kids trying to go to
sleep in their tent at night.
That feeling of being togetherwas so strong for everyone and
they just said thank you, thankyou for bringing us together,
and it just made me think aboutthis thing that happens so often
in my life.
I noticed that I create theseways of people coming together
(09:46):
really naturally, and the reasonI wanted to talk about it on
the podcast is because I seesuch a desire for this coming
together from all the peoplearound me.
I do monarchy rituals for youngwomen who are experiencing
their first bleed.
I do the bloom room, of course,for people to turn ideas into
real things.
I do host yoga classes andother events at my house that
(10:07):
are just people coming together.
I created a maker's market atour school, but all of these
different experiences end upwith people saying thank you for
bringing us together.
I'm just doing it because I seesomething, you know, a fun way
for us all to hang out, but Iget these deep thank yous and
(10:29):
what strikes me about these isthat they're very aligned with
the ideas that I see peopletrying to make real in the bloom
room and outside of the bloomroom Ideas for bringing people
together.
There's someone in the bloomroom that lives in Las Vegas and
he's working on bringing adultstogether in a community there.
(10:50):
There are people that areleading women's groups and sound
healings in my community that Iget invited to all the time.
So there are many ideas aroundme that are becoming real for
bringing people together.
But the other thing Iexperienced so much of is the
expression of a desire thathasn't been answered yet by an
(11:14):
idea coming into fruition, butjust the desire for more
belonging, for more beingtogether.
I see it in so many of thepeople around me and on this
camping trip I saw manydifferent levels of this idea
being real.
My husband and I went for awalk around the campground and
(11:37):
as we walked by, you know, wewalked by different camp spots,
different little families,different groups camping, and
all of a sudden we're walking bythis copse of trees and we hear
expecto patronum and we look ateach other.
We're like that's our son'svoice and we look into the trees
and he's running by with threeother kids in this universe.
(11:59):
That was so real for them.
They were in this imaginaryHarry Potter game and we were
watching them and just crackingup at how real their game felt,
and this was an experience wehad throughout the two days and
two nights where the kids wereplaying in this way.
That just felt so real to themand they were running in this
(12:23):
way.
That was so wild and so free.
I would be sitting with parentsand they would just say to each
other if I have this when I wasa kid, I would be so happy to
just be with these other kids inthis way where no one's
helicoptering around you, withthese other kids in this way
where no one's helicopteringaround you, where you have two
(12:43):
days of just being with oneanother.
I sat down at the fire with oneof the parents that was there.
He's a CEO, really interestingguy, and he was talking about a
couple of things about howintentional he is about bringing
his people in his life together, how every single Wednesday
night, he and his girlfriendhave the same couple that they
want to make sure are lifelongfriends and they never lose each
(13:07):
other.
He has them over for dinnerevery single Wednesday night and
they've made a pact that itnever gets canceled.
He's doing an annual event withhis framily, which is friends
that feel like family, like 15of them where he's really
intentionally creating an annualexperience that involves a card
(13:28):
game and all kinds of differentelements to bond them that
he'll ask them to do withoutfail every year to bring this
community together in the sameway that I'm describing on the
camping trip, where we wake uptogether, we go to sleep
together, we break breadtogether, we go through
earthquakes and losses andcelebrations together.
(13:48):
He's built companies with veryintentional cultures and he's
really trying to bring that intohis own life and build the
friendship cultures of thepeople that are dearest to him.
There's a different woman thatwas on this camping trip.
That's a dear friend of mineand she has a group of women
that has met for happy hourevery single Wednesday night for
(14:13):
12 years.
She says they've gone throughfirst marriages and second
marriages and losses anddivorces and celebrations and
they just carry each otherthrough it and it means
everything to them.
I heard about example afterexample of these small
communities that people havecreated so intentionally to
(14:37):
increase their sense ofbelonging and togetherness, and
at the end of this camping tripit was the last night we
gathered around the fire andthere were so many wonderful
memories.
There was this one time wherewe ended up after a few hours.
(15:01):
We ended up going to the waterand the kids.
I mean it's kind of.
You know, different parentshave different levels of comfort
with this area.
There's lots of big boulders,there's lots of water.
The kids can slide on the wetrocks.
They have to be really careful.
You have to watch.
You know.
I said every parent has yourown kid when we go down there,
because every kid has adifferent comfort level and
(15:22):
every parent does too.
Kids got scraped, you know,just a little bit.
Kids jumped in freezing coldwater and cheered each other on.
Some, you know, took a reallylong time to get there and
really depended on the supportof the other kids to say you can
do it, you can do it, and thenthey would jump into this
freezing cold water.
(15:42):
We all ran back to camp and Imade them all hot chocolate.
So then on that last night wewere all around the fire and we
were going to take a group photoand I had a little like
surprise in my pocket of theselittle packets that make the
fire have blue flames.
So I was going to do thislittle fun thing with the kids,
because they were so into beingwizards and Harry Potter through
(16:04):
the whole experience together.
As we were waiting foreverybody to get there, I said
okay, everybody, point yourwands at the fire and close your
eyes and say this magic spell.
And while they all had theireyes closed, I put the blue
packets in there and part of thespell had the word blue and
they opened their eyes and therewas blue fire there in front of
(16:25):
them and we all giggled andlaughed.
And as we were waiting for acouple of the last people to get
there for the group photo, Ihad them.
You know all shout out if theyhad a good time.
I had them howl like coyotesand then I said do you want to
come back here next year?
And they shouted yes.
I said what was your favoritepart?
They said the water, going downto the water, and I knew
(16:49):
hearing those cheers and hearingthe yells and seeing their
smiles.
This is like core memory stuffand it's not about anything
except for being together, asense of belonging for these
little ones with little twigsfrom the bushes that have become
(17:09):
wands, and the courage that ittook to jump in cold water and
experiencing an earthquake wherea whole community of parents
some that you know and some thatyou don't came around you, to
protect you, waking up together,going to sleep together and
feeling a sense of belonging.
Again, I see this as a throughline in every book that I read.
(17:36):
In every idea that someone'smaking real, it's somewhere in
there the desire for belongingor the desire to create
belonging for others.
Belonging or the desire tocreate belonging for others.
And so today, as we talk aboutthis on the podcast, I want to
put the question out to you whatis one way that you can
(17:59):
increase belonging in your world, one way that you can put an
idea out there that invitespeople in to be together?
What's an idea that you havefor one thing that can create
belonging, can create anopportunity for people to be
(18:21):
together, if belonging is toobig of a word, just some idea
for how to bring people together, how to invite them to join
something.
That's my first question for youtoday, and my second question
for you is what's one idea thatsomeone else has had that you
can say yes to, an invitationsomeone's put out there, an idea
(18:46):
that someone said let's go tocoffee, an invitation that you
were like, ah, I don't know if Iwant to go to.
What's one way that you can sayyes to being together and to
belonging that maybe you haven'tsaid yes to yet.
Those are my two offerings foryou today.
That's what I've got for you,and I will see you next week.
(19:10):
If you like what you're hearingon the podcast, you got to come
and join us in the Bloom Room.
This is a year-round membershipwhere we take all of these
concepts and we apply them toreal life in a community where
(19:32):
we have each other's backs andwe bring out the best in each
other.
We're all there to make ourideas real, one idea at a time.
I'll see you in the Bloom Room.
Bloom room.
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