May 2, 2025 • 22 mins
Zoe is in the middle of a conversation with her partner. She’s annoyed and frustrated and is reminded of a series of other things that she feels annoyed and frustrated about in her relationship. They’re all connected by the feeling of annoyance…like pulling on a string and finding all the examples connected to it. She wants to tell him about each and every one until…
All of the sudden she realizes something. The string connecting all of these annoying things is not actually him. Even though he’s there in each instance, HE is not actually the thread. SHE is. The thing that connects all of these instances of being annoyed is HER; the one feeling them. She’s the one experiencing all of these things as annoying. SHE is the common denominator, not her partner.
She doesn’t like feeling this way.
Her instinct is to tell him he’s responsible for ALL of it.
For all of the ways that he annoys her.
But once she realizes that she is actually the common thread, she pauses.
She remembers that describing the way she feels in detail is really a way of escaping the feeling. That it only makes the frustration bigger, and worse.
Describing it isn’t actually feeling it.
It’s running away from it.
And she’s not into running away.
So instead, she uses the practice.
Jose uses the practice when he realizes the eggshells he’s walking on aren’t her eggshells, they’re his own.
Sarah uses the practice instead of jumping into DOING during an anxiety ridden morning.
Jazelle uses the practice when the voices of a patriarchal upbringing make her doubt her ability to be a founder and CEO.
I do the practice first thing every morning, as much a ritual as brushing my teeth.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
- The two tools that are my ride-or-die go-to’s
- Why breathing or taking a minute away from challenges isn’t enough
- How to turn down analytical thinking to create space for the Practice
- The three most important components of the Practice
- Questions to ask ourselves that unravel intolerable emotions
- Four times to apply the practice
- How to metabolize a feeling and transmute it into something that serves you
How to connect with Marie:
- On the Web | The Local Bloom
- Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
- All Things Marie on LinkTree
JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to the Bloom your Mind Podcast, where we take
all of your ideas for what youwant and we turn them into real
things.
I'm your host, certified CoachMarie McDonald.
Let's get into it.
Hello, my friends, and welcometo episode 125, the Practice.
(00:41):
When we're making any idea real,there are two tools that are my
ride or dies.
One is the model which you'veheard on episode 18, a cognitive
framing device that works inevery situation for every person
to look at how we are creatingthe results in our life through
the system of our brain and body.
(01:02):
The model is an incrediblyuseful tool in a few different
ways.
It is an incredible predictivetool to look ahead and
anticipate how we are going toapproach a situation, what we
are going to create in thesystem of our body through our
approach and what the resultwill be.
(01:24):
And with that predictive lens,we can alter our approach, to
use our brain to work for usinstead of against us as we move
forward in trying to make ourideas for what we want real,
whether those are ideas thatjust apply to who we want to be
in the world, our relationships,or whether they are real,
(01:47):
tangible ideas like starting abusiness or writing a book or
whatever, starting a community,whatever you got.
The model is also an incrediblereflective tool to understand
after the fact, by doing a retroand looking at what worked in
that situation.
What was I thinking?
What did I create in the systemof my body that actually
(02:10):
created my actions and theresults that I am experiencing
now?
Is that what I want?
What do I want to dodifferently next time?
How can I put a system in place, a plan in place, to make sure
that I handle this differentlynext time?
And lastly, it is an incrediblein the moment tool.
When we use what I call with myclients the pause and we
(02:35):
realize in a moment that we areeither feeling in a way that we
don't want to, we're thinkingsomething that's not super
helpful to us, or we're actingin a way that we're not super
proud of, or even in the momentwe're getting a result that
isn't great for us, we can pauseand use the model right then
and there to actually changedirections in the moment and
(03:02):
create a different result.
And actually there's one moreway we can use it and that is to
clean house.
I use the model every day toclean out the brain that I have,
to sweep out all the dust fromunder the couch and look at
what's in there.
Is it helpful, is it not?
What would be more helpful, I'mgoing to like clean out my
purse.
I've used that metaphor beforeusing the model to write
(03:26):
everything down that's in mybrain, underline the things that
I want to look at, see whatresult they would create through
how they would impact thesystem of my body and my actions
, and then create somethingdifferent by starting the
beginning of the day, orstarting even before I've gone
into any kind of action on athing, by cleaning out my brain.
(03:51):
So this is the model.
You can hear much more detailabout that in episode 18.
And today we're talking aboutthe practice.
The practice is a tool to useany time, day in and day out,
any moment of your day, tobecome more present as a human
(04:12):
in a body.
The practice is a tool that Iuse very intentionally every
single morning and then again,like the model, I use it
systematically throughout my dayin the moments when I need it.
It's like an antidote tomoments where I'm feeling off.
It is something that is alsolike a lens to look through to
(04:36):
understand what's happening withme in a moment and I use it all
day, every day, with my clients.
So between these two tools, youhave the most fundamental
things that you need to turn anyidea into a real thing, and
everything else just makes iteasier and faster and better.
Icing on the cake.
So let's look at some examplesof the practice.
(04:58):
The practice is a way tounderstand the animating
presence of your body, to dropdown into the animating presence
of your body and get curiousabout what's going on.
So we're going to look at someexamples of when it's
appropriate to use it and then Iam going to go through exactly
how to use the practice anymoment that you need it.
(05:22):
So, zoe, she's in the middle ofa conversation with her partner
and you know I use the wordconversation loosely.
We could call it an argument.
Maybe it's getting a little bitheated.
We've all been there.
You can think about maybe amoment that you've been there.
She feels an urge to say amillion different things because
she's annoyed and she'sfrustrated.
(05:44):
And those feelings of annoyanceand frustrated, those feelings
are reminding her of all theother things that are annoying
to her and frustrating to her.
And all of those things are sotrue, they're so annoying,
they're so frustrating.
There's so many moments withher partner where she feels
annoyed and frustrated.
She's connecting the way thatshe feels in that moment to all
(06:07):
of those other instances ofannoyance and frustration.
And they're so relevant becausethey're all connected.
It's like there's a stringthat's tying all those moments
of frustration together and shecan see them all, like looking
off into the distance and seeingthem all lined up.
That was frustrating and thatwas frustrating, and that was
frustrating and that wasfrustrating.
And they're all connected bythis string of my partner.
(06:28):
And this thing that's annoyingme right now she thinks is one
in a series of all of thosethings that I want to mention to
my partner that annoy me.
And all of a sudden she's aboutto go into it.
Zoe's about to tell him all ofthe things that are so
frustrating to her and all of asudden she realizes that that
(06:51):
string, that thread that'sconnecting all of those annoying
things, is not actually him.
He's the one that's there everytime, besides her.
He is not the thread.
The thread is Zoe.
Zoe is the thing that connectsall of those instances of being
(07:15):
frustrated and annoyed and sherealizes it all of a sudden.
She's like, oh, it's me.
The common thread is not him.
The common thread is me.
And Zoe thinks I don't likefeeling this way.
My instinct right now is totell him all of the things that
(07:37):
I'm frustrated about.
I want to tell them, tell themall of them.
But once she realizes thatshe's the common thread, she
pauses, she decides not to tellhim about all of those things
because she realizes that thatwould actually just be her
acting out all of her feelings.
(07:58):
It would be her acting out allthose feelings of frustration by
talking about them and tellingthem and describing them and
giving evidence of all of thefrustrations.
And she remembers that if sheacts it out, she's not actually
feeling the frustration.
And she's not into running awaybecause she's been listening to
(08:21):
the Bloom your Mind podcast.
So instead she uses thepractice that was Zoe.
All right, let's look at Jose.
It's right before a hardconversation.
Jose has made an appointmentwith this person in his life and
he's about to talk to her and,oh, he's got all of these
(08:44):
butterflies in his stomachbecause Jose always feels like
he's walking on eggshells withthis other person.
What am I going to say wrong?
What am I going to say thatthis other person is going to
react to in a weird way and hisinstinct is to just start
stacking all of the reasons up,all of the guesses that he has
(09:05):
that she might want to talk tohim.
Jose's instinct is he watcheshis mind actually start doing it
, it's to start guessing why shemight want to talk to him and
all of the things that might'veupset her.
He thinks, oh, what if I saidsomething that upset her?
Oh, maybe it was the other daywhen I did this thing and I
(09:26):
didn't anticipate what sheneeded.
Oh, maybe it was this other day.
Maybe she's upset about thisother thing.
And he starts watching his mind.
He starts realizing that he'sgoing through all of the reasons
that he should be dancing oneggshells.
He sits on the couch and hefeels the butterflies in his
stomach and then he realizeswait, I felt these before, these
(09:49):
butterflies.
There's butterflies and there'seggshells.
And all of a sudden he realizesI'm the one that's feeling
these butterflies.
These are not actually hereggshells, these are my
eggshells.
I can't control how she acts,what she thinks or what she says
(10:10):
.
I'm the one that's walking oneggshells.
These are my eggshells.
And so he pauses and he usesthe practice All right.
Now let's move to Sarah.
It's the morning and Sarah has amillion things swirling in her
head.
She wakes up.
(10:31):
She wakes up out of an anxietydream.
She's like, oh, what is thisweird combination of reality and
fantasy?
That was a weird dream and itwas super stressful and it's
replaying through her mind andshe sits for too long in her bed
and actually allows the wholedream to replay because it was
so weird.
And she replays it all.
And right after that she'sgetting up and she starts to
(10:53):
think about all of the thingsthat she has to do that day.
There are lunches that sheneeds to order, there are shoes
that were left at the neighbor'shouse, there are cars that need
air in the tires, and that'sjust like getting to school to
drop off the kids.
There's also the 50 things thatare waiting for her on her
(11:15):
to-do list, 25 of which she'llnever have time to do today at
work.
And she starts buzzing andbuzzing and thinking about all
of the things that are later inthe week.
And her instinct with all thisanxiety and all of this buzzing
in her head, sarah's instinct isto just jump into the day and
start doing the things right.
(11:36):
She's going to start takingcare of business.
She jumps up, she startsplugging in the toaster and she
starts reading her text.
She opens up her phone.
She reads her text right away.
She starts reading her emails.
She starts making breakfast andthen she thinks, oh, I feel
this ick.
And she pauses because sheremembers she doesn't want to
(11:58):
feel this way.
She doesn't want to start theday like this.
This might be how sheautomatically started the day,
but that doesn't matter, becauseshe's not going to let this day
grab her and drive her.
She's in charge, she's gotsovereignty, she's the boss.
(12:19):
So she takes the wheel, shedrops that piece of toast she's
about to put in that toaster.
She turns her phone upside downso she can't even see that
glowing light.
She sits on the couch and sheuses the practice.
Giselle's about to meet with thebank to look at the loan docs
(12:40):
for the new business that she isgoing to start.
She's going to figure out whatkind of loan that she qualifies
for and she starts to feel thedoubt come up.
She's a mom and she thinks ofthe faces of her brothers, her
uncles, her husband, who are allbusinessmen and who all always
have told her that she's so cutefor having her own thing.
(13:03):
They kind of smirk at eachother and smile in such a
supportive, loving way becauseshe's so cute for having her own
business, and she feels thisweird feeling in her shoulders
and in her neck.
She starts like ugh, feelingthis creepy, like I'm not going
(13:23):
to be able to do it.
They're probably right.
What am I doing?
What am I doing?
And she's like no, no, no, I'mnot going to feel that.
And she starts to shut it down.
She's like stop it, stop it,stop it.
And she goes to open the doorto go into the bank and she
pauses and she remembers that ifshe shoves down this feeling,
it's only going to get biggerand worse.
(13:44):
So she shuts off the car, shecloses the door, cracks the
windows, sits in the parking lotfor just a couple minutes
before she goes inside and sheuses the practice.
Y'all I do the practice mepersonally every single day,
(14:07):
first thing in the morning, Iuse the practice.
It's like brushing my teeth.
I will not leave the housewithout brushing my teeth.
I will not want to be annoyed,I don't want to walk into this
big, beautiful world and a dayfull of things that I have
(14:31):
planned and people that I loveand people that I need to
collaborate with, without usingthe practice first, because
that's like walking into my daywith a real mess that I'm just
giving to everybody around me.
I want to have a fresh, clean,intentional presence, and so I
(14:55):
use the practice.
Every morning I'm going to tellyou how to do it.
It's not just about breathing,it's not just about taking a
minute, which I hear us tellchildren all the time hold on,
just breathe, hold on, just takea minute.
It's about turning down ouranalytical thinking mind 100%
(15:20):
and giving all of our attentionto the sensations in our body.
So I sit down first thing inthe morning, I light a candle
and I go inside and I check outwhat's there with curiosity,
with compassion and, mostimportantly, with non-judgment.
(15:43):
This is the practice, withnon-judgment, going into your
body and walking towardswhatever is there with a desire
to know more about it, withcuriosity.
That is the practice.
(16:04):
Curiosity, that is the practice.
All of the situations that Ijust described are real clients
that I work with that haveexperienced incredible relief
and so much more success turningtheir ideas into real things
because they now use thepractice.
They use the model and they usethe practice.
But it is not just taking a fewbreaths, because sometimes we
(16:27):
can just breathe and shove ourfeelings down.
And it's not just about takinga minute, because oftentimes we
take a minute and we convinceourselves that things are
actually worse off than they are.
Or we don't feel our feelings.
We just think through all ofthe reasons why we're feeling
the way we feel, all of thereasons why we're feeling the
way we feel.
The practice is turning downthe volume knob on our thinking
(16:50):
mind and dropping 100% of ourattention down into the
sensations of our body, withnon-judgment, with curiosity,
with the intent to understand.
I always do it by closing myeyes and dropping literally down
(17:13):
.
It's like I have to be below myneck, it's in my chest, it's in
my stomach, it's somewhere, it'snot in my head, with the
questions what are you?
Where are you?
Tell me about you.
What's going on?
Why are you here?
I want to know what you have tosay.
(17:35):
I'm glad you're here.
Tell me, if the word youdoesn't work, it's like what is
this?
Tell me?
I want to find out about this.
Why is it here?
What does it have to say?
What's this feeling?
What's the sensation?
What color is it?
Is it vibrating?
Is it still?
Is it moving?
What does it have to say?
What does it want me to know?
When we do this, we're doing itfrom a place of sovereignty.
(17:58):
We are in charge, we are thehost, we are the driver, we are
the interviewer, we are theparent.
We are the driver, we are theinterviewer, we are the parent,
we are the teacher.
We are here to find out what'sup and we are grateful that the
sensations and the informationand the feelings, the emotions
in our body, we are gratefulthat they are there, we are
(18:19):
hosting them, they are visitingand we want to know because,
from an evolutionary perspectiveand we want to know Because,
from an evolutionary perspective, they are invaluable, they are
data every single day.
The practice is to gather thedata what's going on in the
system of our body, what's goingon in the system of our brain?
(18:41):
You are in charge.
When you go in to find out morewith curiosity about what's
going on in your feeling state,in your body, in your emotions,
you don't become your feeling.
You get to understand itbecause you're not afraid.
You're just understanding thevibe.
(19:03):
What's there, what's going on,what's up with me?
And most of the time, most ofthose mornings, most of the
times, when I go inside, thatfeeling fades so quickly, just
because it wanted to be touched,it subsides and then I decide
(19:26):
how I want to feel.
I like to think of myself likea lion.
That is just like consuming thefeeling in a good way, like I
want it.
I'm like eating it.
I'm like it's like a desire,like a dragon.
You're just like eating it andthen you're or you're inhaling
it, and then inside of me Imetabolize it.
(19:46):
I turn it into something else,like a chemist, right?
Or this fierce beast, this lion.
I just use the practice toconsume and metabolize that
feeling and then let it go again, breathe it back out, breathe
it in as whatever it is out,breathe it in as whatever it is,
(20:10):
hold it, figure it out, welcomeit, hug it Whatever it needs.
Let it tell me what it needs totell me, get the information
right, and then release it again.
If it wants to hang out andstay with me, that's all right.
Just let it hang out.
I use the practice every singlemorning in the early hours, with
that candle, with the quietaround me and a warm mug in my
hands.
I do it before a hardconversation.
(20:32):
You can do it in the morningyourself.
You can do it before a hardconversation or when you're
flooding in the middle of one.
You can actually just say, hey,let me take a minute and step
away and actually use thepractice before you go back to
your loved one and figure outwhat the conflict is.
(20:53):
You can do it when you're aboutto put your idea into the world
, when you're trying somethingnew, when you're taking a risk,
when you're letting yourself beseen.
Pause and use the practice.
Let others use it too.
Ask them what are you feeling,what's going on?
(21:14):
Let children see you do it.
Teach children the practice.
The more you do it day in andday out, the calmer and more
grounded you will be.
And that place, that calm,grounded place, is where you
make ideas real from.
That's the practice and that'swhat I've got for you this week
(21:38):
and I will see you next week.
If you like what you're hearingon the podcast, you gotta come
and join us in the balloon room.
This is a year-round membershipwhere we take all of these
concepts and we apply them toreal life in a community where
(22:02):
we have each other's backs andwe bring out the best in each
other.
We're all there to make ourideas real, one idea at a time.
I'll see you in the bloom room,thank you.
Welcome to the Bloom your Mind Podcast, where we take
all of your ideas for what youwant and we turn them into real
things.
I'm your host, certified CoachMarie McDonald.
Let's get into it.
Hello, my friends, and welcometo episode 125, the Practice.
(00:41):
When we're making any idea real,there are two tools that are my
ride or dies.
One is the model which you'veheard on episode 18, a cognitive
framing device that works inevery situation for every person
to look at how we are creatingthe results in our life through
the system of our brain and body.
(01:02):
The model is an incrediblyuseful tool in a few different
ways.
It is an incredible predictivetool to look ahead and
anticipate how we are going toapproach a situation, what we
are going to create in thesystem of our body through our
approach and what the resultwill be.
(01:24):
And with that predictive lens,we can alter our approach, to
use our brain to work for usinstead of against us as we move
forward in trying to make ourideas for what we want real,
whether those are ideas thatjust apply to who we want to be
in the world, our relationships,or whether they are real,
(01:47):
tangible ideas like starting abusiness or writing a book or
whatever, starting a community,whatever you got.
The model is also an incrediblereflective tool to understand
after the fact, by doing a retroand looking at what worked in
that situation.
What was I thinking?
What did I create in the systemof my body that actually
(02:10):
created my actions and theresults that I am experiencing
now?
Is that what I want?
What do I want to dodifferently next time?
How can I put a system in place, a plan in place, to make sure
that I handle this differentlynext time?
And lastly, it is an incrediblein the moment tool.
When we use what I call with myclients the pause and we
(02:35):
realize in a moment that we areeither feeling in a way that we
don't want to, we're thinkingsomething that's not super
helpful to us, or we're actingin a way that we're not super
proud of, or even in the momentwe're getting a result that
isn't great for us, we can pauseand use the model right then
and there to actually changedirections in the moment and
(03:02):
create a different result.
And actually there's one moreway we can use it and that is to
clean house.
I use the model every day toclean out the brain that I have,
to sweep out all the dust fromunder the couch and look at
what's in there.
Is it helpful, is it not?
What would be more helpful, I'mgoing to like clean out my
purse.
I've used that metaphor beforeusing the model to write
(03:26):
everything down that's in mybrain, underline the things that
I want to look at, see whatresult they would create through
how they would impact thesystem of my body and my actions
, and then create somethingdifferent by starting the
beginning of the day, orstarting even before I've gone
into any kind of action on athing, by cleaning out my brain.
(03:51):
So this is the model.
You can hear much more detailabout that in episode 18.
And today we're talking aboutthe practice.
The practice is a tool to useany time, day in and day out,
any moment of your day, tobecome more present as a human
(04:12):
in a body.
The practice is a tool that Iuse very intentionally every
single morning and then again,like the model, I use it
systematically throughout my dayin the moments when I need it.
It's like an antidote tomoments where I'm feeling off.
It is something that is alsolike a lens to look through to
(04:36):
understand what's happening withme in a moment and I use it all
day, every day, with my clients.
So between these two tools, youhave the most fundamental
things that you need to turn anyidea into a real thing, and
everything else just makes iteasier and faster and better.
Icing on the cake.
So let's look at some examplesof the practice.
(04:58):
The practice is a way tounderstand the animating
presence of your body, to dropdown into the animating presence
of your body and get curiousabout what's going on.
So we're going to look at someexamples of when it's
appropriate to use it and then Iam going to go through exactly
how to use the practice anymoment that you need it.
(05:22):
So, zoe, she's in the middle ofa conversation with her partner
and you know I use the wordconversation loosely.
We could call it an argument.
Maybe it's getting a little bitheated.
We've all been there.
You can think about maybe amoment that you've been there.
She feels an urge to say amillion different things because
she's annoyed and she'sfrustrated.
(05:44):
And those feelings of annoyanceand frustrated, those feelings
are reminding her of all theother things that are annoying
to her and frustrating to her.
And all of those things are sotrue, they're so annoying,
they're so frustrating.
There's so many moments withher partner where she feels
annoyed and frustrated.
She's connecting the way thatshe feels in that moment to all
(06:07):
of those other instances ofannoyance and frustration.
And they're so relevant becausethey're all connected.
It's like there's a stringthat's tying all those moments
of frustration together and shecan see them all, like looking
off into the distance and seeingthem all lined up.
That was frustrating and thatwas frustrating, and that was
frustrating and that wasfrustrating.
And they're all connected bythis string of my partner.
(06:28):
And this thing that's annoyingme right now she thinks is one
in a series of all of thosethings that I want to mention to
my partner that annoy me.
And all of a sudden she's aboutto go into it.
Zoe's about to tell him all ofthe things that are so
frustrating to her and all of asudden she realizes that that
(06:51):
string, that thread that'sconnecting all of those annoying
things, is not actually him.
He's the one that's there everytime, besides her.
He is not the thread.
The thread is Zoe.
Zoe is the thing that connectsall of those instances of being
(07:15):
frustrated and annoyed and sherealizes it all of a sudden.
She's like, oh, it's me.
The common thread is not him.
The common thread is me.
And Zoe thinks I don't likefeeling this way.
My instinct right now is totell him all of the things that
(07:37):
I'm frustrated about.
I want to tell them, tell themall of them.
But once she realizes thatshe's the common thread, she
pauses, she decides not to tellhim about all of those things
because she realizes that thatwould actually just be her
acting out all of her feelings.
(07:58):
It would be her acting out allthose feelings of frustration by
talking about them and tellingthem and describing them and
giving evidence of all of thefrustrations.
And she remembers that if sheacts it out, she's not actually
feeling the frustration.
And she's not into running awaybecause she's been listening to
(08:21):
the Bloom your Mind podcast.
So instead she uses thepractice that was Zoe.
All right, let's look at Jose.
It's right before a hardconversation.
Jose has made an appointmentwith this person in his life and
he's about to talk to her and,oh, he's got all of these
(08:44):
butterflies in his stomachbecause Jose always feels like
he's walking on eggshells withthis other person.
What am I going to say wrong?
What am I going to say thatthis other person is going to
react to in a weird way and hisinstinct is to just start
stacking all of the reasons up,all of the guesses that he has
(09:05):
that she might want to talk tohim.
Jose's instinct is he watcheshis mind actually start doing it
, it's to start guessing why shemight want to talk to him and
all of the things that might'veupset her.
He thinks, oh, what if I saidsomething that upset her?
Oh, maybe it was the other daywhen I did this thing and I
(09:26):
didn't anticipate what sheneeded.
Oh, maybe it was this other day.
Maybe she's upset about thisother thing.
And he starts watching his mind.
He starts realizing that he'sgoing through all of the reasons
that he should be dancing oneggshells.
He sits on the couch and hefeels the butterflies in his
stomach and then he realizeswait, I felt these before, these
(09:49):
butterflies.
There's butterflies and there'seggshells.
And all of a sudden he realizesI'm the one that's feeling
these butterflies.
These are not actually hereggshells, these are my
eggshells.
I can't control how she acts,what she thinks or what she says
(10:10):
.
I'm the one that's walking oneggshells.
These are my eggshells.
And so he pauses and he usesthe practice All right.
Now let's move to Sarah.
It's the morning and Sarah has amillion things swirling in her
head.
She wakes up.
(10:31):
She wakes up out of an anxietydream.
She's like, oh, what is thisweird combination of reality and
fantasy?
That was a weird dream and itwas super stressful and it's
replaying through her mind andshe sits for too long in her bed
and actually allows the wholedream to replay because it was
so weird.
And she replays it all.
And right after that she'sgetting up and she starts to
(10:53):
think about all of the thingsthat she has to do that day.
There are lunches that sheneeds to order, there are shoes
that were left at the neighbor'shouse, there are cars that need
air in the tires, and that'sjust like getting to school to
drop off the kids.
There's also the 50 things thatare waiting for her on her
(11:15):
to-do list, 25 of which she'llnever have time to do today at
work.
And she starts buzzing andbuzzing and thinking about all
of the things that are later inthe week.
And her instinct with all thisanxiety and all of this buzzing
in her head, sarah's instinct isto just jump into the day and
start doing the things right.
(11:36):
She's going to start takingcare of business.
She jumps up, she startsplugging in the toaster and she
starts reading her text.
She opens up her phone.
She reads her text right away.
She starts reading her emails.
She starts making breakfast andthen she thinks, oh, I feel
this ick.
And she pauses because sheremembers she doesn't want to
(11:58):
feel this way.
She doesn't want to start theday like this.
This might be how sheautomatically started the day,
but that doesn't matter, becauseshe's not going to let this day
grab her and drive her.
She's in charge, she's gotsovereignty, she's the boss.
(12:19):
So she takes the wheel, shedrops that piece of toast she's
about to put in that toaster.
She turns her phone upside downso she can't even see that
glowing light.
She sits on the couch and sheuses the practice.
Giselle's about to meet with thebank to look at the loan docs
(12:40):
for the new business that she isgoing to start.
She's going to figure out whatkind of loan that she qualifies
for and she starts to feel thedoubt come up.
She's a mom and she thinks ofthe faces of her brothers, her
uncles, her husband, who are allbusinessmen and who all always
have told her that she's so cutefor having her own thing.
(13:03):
They kind of smirk at eachother and smile in such a
supportive, loving way becauseshe's so cute for having her own
business, and she feels thisweird feeling in her shoulders
and in her neck.
She starts like ugh, feelingthis creepy, like I'm not going
(13:23):
to be able to do it.
They're probably right.
What am I doing?
What am I doing?
And she's like no, no, no, I'mnot going to feel that.
And she starts to shut it down.
She's like stop it, stop it,stop it.
And she goes to open the doorto go into the bank and she
pauses and she remembers that ifshe shoves down this feeling,
it's only going to get biggerand worse.
(13:44):
So she shuts off the car, shecloses the door, cracks the
windows, sits in the parking lotfor just a couple minutes
before she goes inside and sheuses the practice.
Y'all I do the practice mepersonally every single day,
(14:07):
first thing in the morning, Iuse the practice.
It's like brushing my teeth.
I will not leave the housewithout brushing my teeth.
I will not want to be annoyed,I don't want to walk into this
big, beautiful world and a dayfull of things that I have
(14:31):
planned and people that I loveand people that I need to
collaborate with, without usingthe practice first, because
that's like walking into my daywith a real mess that I'm just
giving to everybody around me.
I want to have a fresh, clean,intentional presence, and so I
(14:55):
use the practice.
Every morning I'm going to tellyou how to do it.
It's not just about breathing,it's not just about taking a
minute, which I hear us tellchildren all the time hold on,
just breathe, hold on, just takea minute.
It's about turning down ouranalytical thinking mind 100%
(15:20):
and giving all of our attentionto the sensations in our body.
So I sit down first thing inthe morning, I light a candle
and I go inside and I check outwhat's there with curiosity,
with compassion and, mostimportantly, with non-judgment.
(15:43):
This is the practice, withnon-judgment, going into your
body and walking towardswhatever is there with a desire
to know more about it, withcuriosity.
That is the practice.
(16:04):
Curiosity, that is the practice.
All of the situations that Ijust described are real clients
that I work with that haveexperienced incredible relief
and so much more success turningtheir ideas into real things
because they now use thepractice.
They use the model and they usethe practice.
But it is not just taking a fewbreaths, because sometimes we
(16:27):
can just breathe and shove ourfeelings down.
And it's not just about takinga minute, because oftentimes we
take a minute and we convinceourselves that things are
actually worse off than they are.
Or we don't feel our feelings.
We just think through all ofthe reasons why we're feeling
the way we feel, all of thereasons why we're feeling the
way we feel.
The practice is turning downthe volume knob on our thinking
(16:50):
mind and dropping 100% of ourattention down into the
sensations of our body, withnon-judgment, with curiosity,
with the intent to understand.
I always do it by closing myeyes and dropping literally down
(17:13):
.
It's like I have to be below myneck, it's in my chest, it's in
my stomach, it's somewhere, it'snot in my head, with the
questions what are you?
Where are you?
Tell me about you.
What's going on?
Why are you here?
I want to know what you have tosay.
(17:35):
I'm glad you're here.
Tell me, if the word youdoesn't work, it's like what is
this?
Tell me?
I want to find out about this.
Why is it here?
What does it have to say?
What's this feeling?
What's the sensation?
What color is it?
Is it vibrating?
Is it still?
Is it moving?
What does it have to say?
What does it want me to know?
When we do this, we're doing itfrom a place of sovereignty.
(17:58):
We are in charge, we are thehost, we are the driver, we are
the interviewer, we are theparent.
We are the driver, we are theinterviewer, we are the parent,
we are the teacher.
We are here to find out what'sup and we are grateful that the
sensations and the informationand the feelings, the emotions
in our body, we are gratefulthat they are there, we are
(18:19):
hosting them, they are visitingand we want to know because,
from an evolutionary perspectiveand we want to know Because,
from an evolutionary perspective, they are invaluable, they are
data every single day.
The practice is to gather thedata what's going on in the
system of our body, what's goingon in the system of our brain?
(18:41):
You are in charge.
When you go in to find out morewith curiosity about what's
going on in your feeling state,in your body, in your emotions,
you don't become your feeling.
You get to understand itbecause you're not afraid.
You're just understanding thevibe.
(19:03):
What's there, what's going on,what's up with me?
And most of the time, most ofthose mornings, most of the
times, when I go inside, thatfeeling fades so quickly, just
because it wanted to be touched,it subsides and then I decide
(19:26):
how I want to feel.
I like to think of myself likea lion.
That is just like consuming thefeeling in a good way, like I
want it.
I'm like eating it.
I'm like it's like a desire,like a dragon.
You're just like eating it andthen you're or you're inhaling
it, and then inside of me Imetabolize it.
(19:46):
I turn it into something else,like a chemist, right?
Or this fierce beast, this lion.
I just use the practice toconsume and metabolize that
feeling and then let it go again, breathe it back out, breathe
it in as whatever it is out,breathe it in as whatever it is,
(20:10):
hold it, figure it out, welcomeit, hug it Whatever it needs.
Let it tell me what it needs totell me, get the information
right, and then release it again.
If it wants to hang out andstay with me, that's all right.
Just let it hang out.
I use the practice every singlemorning in the early hours, with
that candle, with the quietaround me and a warm mug in my
hands.
I do it before a hardconversation.
(20:32):
You can do it in the morningyourself.
You can do it before a hardconversation or when you're
flooding in the middle of one.
You can actually just say, hey,let me take a minute and step
away and actually use thepractice before you go back to
your loved one and figure outwhat the conflict is.
(20:53):
You can do it when you're aboutto put your idea into the world
, when you're trying somethingnew, when you're taking a risk,
when you're letting yourself beseen.
Pause and use the practice.
Let others use it too.
Ask them what are you feeling,what's going on?
(21:14):
Let children see you do it.
Teach children the practice.
The more you do it day in andday out, the calmer and more
grounded you will be.
And that place, that calm,grounded place, is where you
make ideas real from.
That's the practice and that'swhat I've got for you this week
(21:38):
and I will see you next week.
If you like what you're hearingon the podcast, you gotta come
and join us in the balloon room.
This is a year-round membershipwhere we take all of these
concepts and we apply them toreal life in a community where
(22:02):
we have each other's backs andwe bring out the best in each
other.
We're all there to make ourideas real, one idea at a time.
I'll see you in the bloom room,thank you.
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