May 9, 2025 • 18 mins
A friend of mine told a story a few months ago that has stuck with me in that way that a story does. I keep seeing echoes of it everywhere. I see expressions and examples of the point he was making in the coaching that my clients need, in my own life and mindset, and in the stories I hear from the people around me.
He told a story about a family who came to him and said that another family had a terrible experience at their school. My friend was confused because he knew that family, and while they did experience a specific challenge, the end result of their journey was incredibly happy and content. He went for coffee with the family that he knew and gently asked some questions. “Why did you only tell the negative part of the story?” he said. “The part that created a bad impression for this other family, and why leave out the happy ending, where everything was resolved?”
“I don’t know.” Said his friend, a little sheepishly. “It’s just what came out of my mouth.”
In a world where words create reality for ourselves and the people around us, understanding what part of the story we are choosing to tell is the difference between creation and destruction; connection and alienation.
What you’ll learn in this episode about the story we tell:
- How it is a reflection of our self-concept and the beliefs we have about ourselves
- How it shows what lens we tend to take on circumstances
- How it impacts the health of our relationships, especially when we’re in a rut with someone in our lives
- The impact that the story we tell has on the ideas we’re trying to make real
- How to observe our story with compassion and non-judgment, so that we can actually make the changes we want to see
- Questions we can ask ourselves to make our story lens clear, and to question whether it’s the lens we actually want to have.
Mentioned in this episode
- Anthony Thomas and “A long way from the block”
- Nostalgia for now
- The Bloom Room
How to connect with Marie:
- On the Web | The Local Bloom
- Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
- All Things Marie on LinkTree
JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to the Bloom your Mind Podcast, where we take
all of your ideas for what youwant and we turn them into real
things.
I'm your host, certified CoachMarie McDonald.
Let's get into it.
Hello everybody, and welcome toepisode number 126 of the Bloom
(00:33):
your Mind podcast.
Focus on which part of the storydo you tell?
Before we get into that, I'lljust tell you that it is the end
of the school year in ourfamily and there is so much
going on.
Oh my gosh.
Just last week I was dressed upin both a flower crown for a
Maypole celebration and a likehooded cape for a medieval
(00:59):
knighting ceremony for my middleschooler, where they each were
given their own knighthood, theywere recognized for their gifts
and their strengths and wecooked for this giant feast.
We are having a gala coming up.
There's just so much going on inthe world of family and also so
much going on in lots oforganizations and businesses and
(01:20):
lives, as seasons change rightand we get ready for summer.
So if you are out therejuggling lots of things that are
wonderful things and that areballs in the air that aren't
usually there, I am with you andwe are all with you and I have
just been putting so much of mylove and attention into both,
(01:41):
trying to be present for it,because I feel like often it
feels like so much when we're init and there's also a sense of
timelessness when we are inthings, meaning we're not super
aware that this thing is onlyhappening once ever in the exact
iteration we are in, and thereare finite sort of iterations of
(02:06):
the thing.
So if I'm talking about, let'ssay, the gala right for this
school that I go to I've been tothree of them before.
This is the only one that I'veever led.
I helped with the last yearsand it seems, because I've been
to a few, that they'll kind ofgo on stretched into the future
forever.
But truly there's a finitenumber of these where the people
(02:29):
that I love are all there andwho knows who will be there and
who will not next year.
People move, lives change, allkinds of things can happen right
, and so I just remind myself tonot take for granted the thing
that is happening in front of meright now, because it could
change so much sooner than Iexpect or I could just sort of
(02:50):
be moving through it, taking itfor granted in some way, and
then look back at it and think,oh my gosh, I missed that thing
right.
I wish I had been more presentfor it.
I wish I had realized howspecial it was when I was in it.
And so in all of these momentsI practice nostalgia for now as
much as I can.
(03:10):
There is a podcast episode aboutthis tool I use it in the bloom
room and with my clients a lotwhich is simply to take that
unique overlay, that humanperspective of nostalgia.
Maybe it, I don't know, maybeother animals have this too.
Right, but this perspectivethat is very unique of nostalgia
which we have for things in ourpast.
(03:31):
For me, when I have the senseof nostalgia, it is sort of rose
colored, it is slightly foggy,you know, not totally in focus.
It is this golden, warm.
I just said rose colored andgolden, but you get what I mean.
It's like this kind of sparklyfilter on things that have
happened where I really rememberwith warmth and connection the
(03:53):
wonderful parts of pastexperiences that I've had and I
appreciate them so clearly.
And so I love bringing thatlens of gratitude and wanting
and almost longing that comeswith nostalgia for the things
that I am experiencing now.
How does that change for uswhen we actually experience a
(04:17):
longing for the life that wehave right now.
Just consider that for a momenta wanting.
What is it like?
How do things change when youdeeply want, when you long for,
when you desire what you arealready living?
So I love practicing thisnostalgia for now, and the other
(04:39):
thing that I'm doing, inaddition to being very present
in all of it, is to do thingsfor myself.
So I am also starting a bloodsugar program that's about six
weeks long to help me understanddietary impact on my body and
understand nutrition a littlebit better and blood sugar
levels and sort of you know,habits and patterns, including
(05:02):
exercise, and how that spikescortisol, and how habits and
patterns of waking and sleepingand drinking water and all these
things impact the ecosystem ofour body.
So I'm so excited for that andit's a gift I'm giving myself.
For the next six weeks, maybe Iwill find that it is relevant
to share with you through anepisode or two on here, or maybe
(05:22):
I'll just share anecdotally howI'm enjoying it here and on
social media, but that issomething that I'm doing for
myself.
So those are my two thoughts aswe head into this summer season
and the changing of the season,which always feels a little
bustly.
How can you practice nostalgiafor the moments that you are in
and what small ways can youhonor yourself and give yourself
(05:44):
some love and attention whileyou're in it?
Today I just want to tell aquick story and share a
perspective with you aboutreally considering the part of
the story that you tell.
So I have told this anecdote onthe podcast before long ago.
But there is a teacher at myschool who's an incredible
(06:04):
influencer of the culture there.
He's quite amazing.
We call him coach.
His name is actually AnthonyThomas.
He has his own podcast, hecoaches lots of sports, is a
community leader there and he'squite amazing.
And you know he told a storyabout a family that goes to the
school that shared with anotherfamily something negative that
happened.
And he heard from the secondfamily the ones that heard the
(06:27):
story and he heard them say oh,we heard about this thing that
happened and we really don'tthink that that was a good
situation.
We don't know about that school.
And coach said wait a minute,what I know that family and I
know what happened.
And they actually in his headhe was like they were so happy
and all of that got resolved.
I'm wondering why this familydidn't hear about the whole
(06:49):
thing.
And he sees the family that thestory was about and he goes out
for coffee with one of them.
They're chatting for a whileand then he says you know, hey,
man, I talked to this family andI'm just so curious, like this
is what they told me about yourfamily's experience, but this is
all that they knew it was thebad part.
And the other family said oh,yeah, yeah, I just told him
(07:10):
about that part.
And coach said well, why didn'tyou tell him the whole story,
including the most importantpart, which is that the
challenges that you experiencedwere completely resolved and
your family was super happy withtheir experience?
And the other family said well,I don't know, I just I don't
know why I didn't tell that part, I just didn't.
(07:32):
And ever since he told me thisstory, I it pops into my head
and I think about this with myclients, I think about it with
myself, I think about it inrelationships, about how
bringing the light of awarenessto ourselves and asking
ourselves to witness which partof our experience we relate to
others, which part of the storydo we tell this, can be so
(07:55):
healing for ourselves, sohealing for our relationships,
so insightful into what's goingon with us and also so
incredibly impactful on makingour ideas real.
I cannot tell you the powerthat it has, the infinite impact
that it has on whether we aresuccessful or not successful at
(08:22):
turning our ideas into realthings.
Whether this is a habit changethat we are making me learning
about my blood sugar right andmaking changes to my own habits
to honor my body more rightLearning about them, because
there's so much that I don'tknow and making changes or
whether this is something like abig project that we're putting
out into the world or a careerchange, the way that we talk
(08:44):
about our story or someoneelse's story, the parts of it
that we choose to share createreality for other people and, in
turn, are regenerative for us.
They create reality in turn forus as well.
So let's take a couple examplesand then I will give you some
(09:06):
guiding questions to round usout today to help you reflect on
which part of the story you aretelling.
So first of all, I want to lookat our self-concept.
How do we talk about ourselveswhen we bring some awareness,
some curiosity to the part ofour own story that we tell.
(09:29):
We can learn so much and caninstantly change so much if we
choose to.
So I want you to just thinkback to the last time that you
told the story of your life, ora big chunk of your life, sort
of related that to anotherperson.
What parts of it did you tell,what parts of it did you focus
(09:52):
on?
And then, secondly, when we'retalking to someone just about
ourselves, how we talk aboutourselves, whether that is with
self-deprecation, respect,whether we narrate the sort of
details of our life with honorand with compassion towards
(10:13):
ourself, or whether we kind ofbag on ourselves, the parts of
the story that we tell aboutourselves shows us what we
believe about ourselves.
And so when we pause and justthink about the sentences that
we are saying, the part of thestory that we tell, we can see
(10:33):
what we believe about ourselves.
Now, another thing here is justtalking about when someone says
how are you, what's going on,what's happening in your day,
what part of your day do youtell?
Do you tell always the harderparts?
Do you talk about how tired youare?
Do you talk about what is hardor what is disappointing?
(10:56):
Sometimes in life we findourselves in the moments where
we're focusing on those things,and that's okay.
The question here isn't aboutright or wrong, good or bad.
It's so important, more thananything else, to be authentic
with the people around us, andauthenticity doesn't mean just
(11:18):
saying what's hard.
So when we bring the light ofthis question, what part am I
sharing as I walk around theworld to ourselves?
And we look at that, we can seeso much.
Because when we share only thehard parts with others, then our
interactions with others blowup those hard parts of our life.
(11:39):
We end up talking about thosehard parts a lot.
People end up checking in onthe hard parts with us, and
that's okay when we need it andit's very valuable in big
moments of our life.
And when we get into the habitof focusing on those hard parts,
it can begin to shine aspotlight on them instead of on
(12:01):
the full picture or the thingsthat we're grateful for or
feeling nostalgia for right now.
The second thing I want to sayis in our relationships when we
can look at relationshipsoverall or relationships with
specific people and think aboutwhat words we share with a boss,
(12:21):
with a colleague, with a parent, with a friend, with a partner
with our children.
What part of the story do youtell them?
What part of the story do youtell them?
Because oftentimes we startplaying a role with the people
in our lives and we might findourselves maybe with certain
people unloading all the time onthem, or just talking about
(12:43):
logistics, or relating a storyand talking just about the
children, or talking just aboutthe mistakes that other people
made, or just about the drama,or talking just about the
mistakes that other people made,or just about the drama or the
gossip we can get into like rutsand routines and how we
interact with specific people inour lives, and when we bring
(13:03):
this question, we can just thinkis this what I want to share
with this person?
Is this creating a relationshipwith this person?
Where we're always talkingabout what's hard, or we're
always talking about logistics,where I'm always talking about
the children, where I'm alwaystalking about them, or maybe I'm
always talking about me, andwhat part of my story am I
(13:26):
telling?
With all of this, the mostimportant thing is to bring
curiosity and compassion insteadof judgment.
You will notice things you likeand you will notice things that
you do not like in what youshare when we bring compassion
and non-judgment to noticingourselves and observing
(13:48):
ourselves.
That is when change is possible, and sometimes that change is
just about accepting what isalready happening.
Sometimes we actually want tochange what we're saying and
doing.
Two quick other things.
One is just thinking about acircumstance.
Take something into your mind aparty, an event, spring break,
a meeting, a drive, a game, asports game, a show and just
(14:14):
think about the different peoplethat have narrated something
about that event.
What part of the story did theyall tell?
What part of the story did youtell?
Did you talk about how cold itwas and how late you were?
Or did you talk about thewonderful conversations that you
had?
There's not a right or wrong,there's just a noticing and
choosing.
(14:35):
And lastly, when you're talkingabout your idea, how do you talk
about it?
Your idea for a change you wantto make in your life?
If I'm talking about my classesthat I'm taking in, blood sugar
and dietary practices andexercise and all of that, I'm
not focused on.
You know, sharing with otherpeople, the big problems that I
(14:57):
want to fix I'm focused on.
I didn't even know I was goingto talk about this in the
podcast when I first shared itwith you, right.
But I'm thinking back to thatand I'm thinking I am just
really focused on everything I'mgoing to learn and I'm going to
learn how to honor my body more.
And that's the story that I'mtelling about this idea that I
have and it's exciting and it'shopeful and it's wonderful and
that generates all of thatexcitement and hope and wonder
(15:19):
in me, and so I will enter intothis program with excitement and
hope and wonder and heck yeah,do I want that?
Instead of focusing in on bigproblems with my body that I
want to solve, instead offocusing in on big problems with
my body that I want to solve, Ialso can look at with an idea,
a big project that I'm ready toput out there in the world.
What's something that you'reputting out into the world?
(15:39):
If you talk about how you'reafraid about it, how you don't
know if people will like it, howyou've never done it before,
that's what people see.
When we talk about our ideawith reverence and excitement
and we talk about thepossibility of what this idea
could create in the world, otherpeople want in on that idea too
, and both parts of this arejust as true.
(16:03):
But when we bring light andawareness into which part of the
story we're telling.
We can choose to tell the partthat creates more of what we
want in the world.
All right, so my guidingquestions for you are which part
of the story are you telling toyourself and to others?
(16:23):
Which parts did you leave out?
Maybe the positive parts?
Maybe the negative parts?
Do you tend to be overlypositive, overly negative,
focused on others, focused onyourself?
It's all good, but the noticingbrings awareness and
(16:44):
empowerment.
In the part of the story thatyou told, did you get to be the
hero, the victim, neutral, ahelper?
What are the roles you tend toplay?
What reality is that creatingfor you and for others?
Is that the reality you want tocreate?
And then gently, with love andcompassion, guide your mind to
(17:08):
widen the lens on the story thatyou're telling or narrow the
lens.
What part of the story wouldyou focus in on?
Where would you shine yourspotlight?
On?
The story of everything thathappens?
That would be a little moreregenerative for you.
Would you share a little bitmore of what's good, a little
(17:30):
bit more of what's possible?
Would you share a little bitmore of what's good, a little
bit more of what's possible?
Would you share a more directand honest, neutral opinion?
Would you share more of thenegative?
Would you do less talking?
Would you do more?
What part of the story are youtelling and what world is that
(17:52):
creating for you?
That's what I've got for youthis week and I will see you
next week.
If you like what you're hearingon the podcast, you gotta come
and join us in the Bloom Room.
This is a year-round membershipwhere we take all of these
(18:13):
concepts and we apply them toreal life in a community where
we have each other's backs andwe bring out the best in each
other.
We're all there to make ourideas real, one idea at a time.
I'll see you in the bloom room.
Welcome to the Bloom your Mind Podcast, where we take
all of your ideas for what youwant and we turn them into real
things.
I'm your host, certified CoachMarie McDonald.
Let's get into it.
Hello everybody, and welcome toepisode number 126 of the Bloom
(00:33):
your Mind podcast.
Focus on which part of the storydo you tell?
Before we get into that, I'lljust tell you that it is the end
of the school year in ourfamily and there is so much
going on.
Oh my gosh.
Just last week I was dressed upin both a flower crown for a
Maypole celebration and a likehooded cape for a medieval
(00:59):
knighting ceremony for my middleschooler, where they each were
given their own knighthood, theywere recognized for their gifts
and their strengths and wecooked for this giant feast.
We are having a gala coming up.
There's just so much going on inthe world of family and also so
much going on in lots oforganizations and businesses and
(01:20):
lives, as seasons change rightand we get ready for summer.
So if you are out therejuggling lots of things that are
wonderful things and that areballs in the air that aren't
usually there, I am with you andwe are all with you and I have
just been putting so much of mylove and attention into both,
(01:41):
trying to be present for it,because I feel like often it
feels like so much when we're init and there's also a sense of
timelessness when we are inthings, meaning we're not super
aware that this thing is onlyhappening once ever in the exact
iteration we are in, and thereare finite sort of iterations of
(02:06):
the thing.
So if I'm talking about, let'ssay, the gala right for this
school that I go to I've been tothree of them before.
This is the only one that I'veever led.
I helped with the last yearsand it seems, because I've been
to a few, that they'll kind ofgo on stretched into the future
forever.
But truly there's a finitenumber of these where the people
(02:29):
that I love are all there andwho knows who will be there and
who will not next year.
People move, lives change, allkinds of things can happen right
, and so I just remind myself tonot take for granted the thing
that is happening in front of meright now, because it could
change so much sooner than Iexpect or I could just sort of
(02:50):
be moving through it, taking itfor granted in some way, and
then look back at it and think,oh my gosh, I missed that thing
right.
I wish I had been more presentfor it.
I wish I had realized howspecial it was when I was in it.
And so in all of these momentsI practice nostalgia for now as
much as I can.
(03:10):
There is a podcast episode aboutthis tool I use it in the bloom
room and with my clients a lotwhich is simply to take that
unique overlay, that humanperspective of nostalgia.
Maybe it, I don't know, maybeother animals have this too.
Right, but this perspectivethat is very unique of nostalgia
which we have for things in ourpast.
(03:31):
For me, when I have the senseof nostalgia, it is sort of rose
colored, it is slightly foggy,you know, not totally in focus.
It is this golden, warm.
I just said rose colored andgolden, but you get what I mean.
It's like this kind of sparklyfilter on things that have
happened where I really rememberwith warmth and connection the
(03:53):
wonderful parts of pastexperiences that I've had and I
appreciate them so clearly.
And so I love bringing thatlens of gratitude and wanting
and almost longing that comeswith nostalgia for the things
that I am experiencing now.
How does that change for uswhen we actually experience a
(04:17):
longing for the life that wehave right now.
Just consider that for a momenta wanting.
What is it like?
How do things change when youdeeply want, when you long for,
when you desire what you arealready living?
So I love practicing thisnostalgia for now, and the other
(04:39):
thing that I'm doing, inaddition to being very present
in all of it, is to do thingsfor myself.
So I am also starting a bloodsugar program that's about six
weeks long to help me understanddietary impact on my body and
understand nutrition a littlebit better and blood sugar
levels and sort of you know,habits and patterns, including
(05:02):
exercise, and how that spikescortisol, and how habits and
patterns of waking and sleepingand drinking water and all these
things impact the ecosystem ofour body.
So I'm so excited for that andit's a gift I'm giving myself.
For the next six weeks, maybe Iwill find that it is relevant
to share with you through anepisode or two on here, or maybe
(05:22):
I'll just share anecdotally howI'm enjoying it here and on
social media, but that issomething that I'm doing for
myself.
So those are my two thoughts aswe head into this summer season
and the changing of the season,which always feels a little
bustly.
How can you practice nostalgiafor the moments that you are in
and what small ways can youhonor yourself and give yourself
(05:44):
some love and attention whileyou're in it?
Today I just want to tell aquick story and share a
perspective with you aboutreally considering the part of
the story that you tell.
So I have told this anecdote onthe podcast before long ago.
But there is a teacher at myschool who's an incredible
(06:04):
influencer of the culture there.
He's quite amazing.
We call him coach.
His name is actually AnthonyThomas.
He has his own podcast, hecoaches lots of sports, is a
community leader there and he'squite amazing.
And you know he told a storyabout a family that goes to the
school that shared with anotherfamily something negative that
happened.
And he heard from the secondfamily the ones that heard the
(06:27):
story and he heard them say oh,we heard about this thing that
happened and we really don'tthink that that was a good
situation.
We don't know about that school.
And coach said wait a minute,what I know that family and I
know what happened.
And they actually in his headhe was like they were so happy
and all of that got resolved.
I'm wondering why this familydidn't hear about the whole
(06:49):
thing.
And he sees the family that thestory was about and he goes out
for coffee with one of them.
They're chatting for a whileand then he says you know, hey,
man, I talked to this family andI'm just so curious, like this
is what they told me about yourfamily's experience, but this is
all that they knew it was thebad part.
And the other family said oh,yeah, yeah, I just told him
(07:10):
about that part.
And coach said well, why didn'tyou tell him the whole story,
including the most importantpart, which is that the
challenges that you experiencedwere completely resolved and
your family was super happy withtheir experience?
And the other family said well,I don't know, I just I don't
know why I didn't tell that part, I just didn't.
(07:32):
And ever since he told me thisstory, I it pops into my head
and I think about this with myclients, I think about it with
myself, I think about it inrelationships, about how
bringing the light of awarenessto ourselves and asking
ourselves to witness which partof our experience we relate to
others, which part of the storydo we tell this, can be so
(07:55):
healing for ourselves, sohealing for our relationships,
so insightful into what's goingon with us and also so
incredibly impactful on makingour ideas real.
I cannot tell you the powerthat it has, the infinite impact
that it has on whether we aresuccessful or not successful at
(08:22):
turning our ideas into realthings.
Whether this is a habit changethat we are making me learning
about my blood sugar right andmaking changes to my own habits
to honor my body more rightLearning about them, because
there's so much that I don'tknow and making changes or
whether this is something like abig project that we're putting
out into the world or a careerchange, the way that we talk
(08:44):
about our story or someoneelse's story, the parts of it
that we choose to share createreality for other people and, in
turn, are regenerative for us.
They create reality in turn forus as well.
So let's take a couple examplesand then I will give you some
(09:06):
guiding questions to round usout today to help you reflect on
which part of the story you aretelling.
So first of all, I want to lookat our self-concept.
How do we talk about ourselveswhen we bring some awareness,
some curiosity to the part ofour own story that we tell.
(09:29):
We can learn so much and caninstantly change so much if we
choose to.
So I want you to just thinkback to the last time that you
told the story of your life, ora big chunk of your life, sort
of related that to anotherperson.
What parts of it did you tell,what parts of it did you focus
(09:52):
on?
And then, secondly, when we'retalking to someone just about
ourselves, how we talk aboutourselves, whether that is with
self-deprecation, respect,whether we narrate the sort of
details of our life with honorand with compassion towards
(10:13):
ourself, or whether we kind ofbag on ourselves, the parts of
the story that we tell aboutourselves shows us what we
believe about ourselves.
And so when we pause and justthink about the sentences that
we are saying, the part of thestory that we tell, we can see
(10:33):
what we believe about ourselves.
Now, another thing here is justtalking about when someone says
how are you, what's going on,what's happening in your day,
what part of your day do youtell?
Do you tell always the harderparts?
Do you talk about how tired youare?
Do you talk about what is hardor what is disappointing?
(10:56):
Sometimes in life we findourselves in the moments where
we're focusing on those things,and that's okay.
The question here isn't aboutright or wrong, good or bad.
It's so important, more thananything else, to be authentic
with the people around us, andauthenticity doesn't mean just
(11:18):
saying what's hard.
So when we bring the light ofthis question, what part am I
sharing as I walk around theworld to ourselves?
And we look at that, we can seeso much.
Because when we share only thehard parts with others, then our
interactions with others blowup those hard parts of our life.
(11:39):
We end up talking about thosehard parts a lot.
People end up checking in onthe hard parts with us, and
that's okay when we need it andit's very valuable in big
moments of our life.
And when we get into the habitof focusing on those hard parts,
it can begin to shine aspotlight on them instead of on
(12:01):
the full picture or the thingsthat we're grateful for or
feeling nostalgia for right now.
The second thing I want to sayis in our relationships when we
can look at relationshipsoverall or relationships with
specific people and think aboutwhat words we share with a boss,
(12:21):
with a colleague, with a parent, with a friend, with a partner
with our children.
What part of the story do youtell them?
What part of the story do youtell them?
Because oftentimes we startplaying a role with the people
in our lives and we might findourselves maybe with certain
people unloading all the time onthem, or just talking about
(12:43):
logistics, or relating a storyand talking just about the
children, or talking just aboutthe mistakes that other people
made, or just about the drama,or talking just about the
mistakes that other people made,or just about the drama or the
gossip we can get into like rutsand routines and how we
interact with specific people inour lives, and when we bring
(13:03):
this question, we can just thinkis this what I want to share
with this person?
Is this creating a relationshipwith this person?
Where we're always talkingabout what's hard, or we're
always talking about logistics,where I'm always talking about
the children, where I'm alwaystalking about them, or maybe I'm
always talking about me, andwhat part of my story am I
(13:26):
telling?
With all of this, the mostimportant thing is to bring
curiosity and compassion insteadof judgment.
You will notice things you likeand you will notice things that
you do not like in what youshare when we bring compassion
and non-judgment to noticingourselves and observing
(13:48):
ourselves.
That is when change is possible, and sometimes that change is
just about accepting what isalready happening.
Sometimes we actually want tochange what we're saying and
doing.
Two quick other things.
One is just thinking about acircumstance.
Take something into your mind aparty, an event, spring break,
a meeting, a drive, a game, asports game, a show and just
(14:14):
think about the different peoplethat have narrated something
about that event.
What part of the story did theyall tell?
What part of the story did youtell?
Did you talk about how cold itwas and how late you were?
Or did you talk about thewonderful conversations that you
had?
There's not a right or wrong,there's just a noticing and
choosing.
(14:35):
And lastly, when you're talkingabout your idea, how do you talk
about it?
Your idea for a change you wantto make in your life?
If I'm talking about my classesthat I'm taking in, blood sugar
and dietary practices andexercise and all of that, I'm
not focused on.
You know, sharing with otherpeople, the big problems that I
(14:57):
want to fix I'm focused on.
I didn't even know I was goingto talk about this in the
podcast when I first shared itwith you, right.
But I'm thinking back to thatand I'm thinking I am just
really focused on everything I'mgoing to learn and I'm going to
learn how to honor my body more.
And that's the story that I'mtelling about this idea that I
have and it's exciting and it'shopeful and it's wonderful and
that generates all of thatexcitement and hope and wonder
(15:19):
in me, and so I will enter intothis program with excitement and
hope and wonder and heck yeah,do I want that?
Instead of focusing in on bigproblems with my body that I
want to solve, instead offocusing in on big problems with
my body that I want to solve, Ialso can look at with an idea,
a big project that I'm ready toput out there in the world.
What's something that you'reputting out into the world?
(15:39):
If you talk about how you'reafraid about it, how you don't
know if people will like it, howyou've never done it before,
that's what people see.
When we talk about our ideawith reverence and excitement
and we talk about thepossibility of what this idea
could create in the world, otherpeople want in on that idea too
, and both parts of this arejust as true.
(16:03):
But when we bring light andawareness into which part of the
story we're telling.
We can choose to tell the partthat creates more of what we
want in the world.
All right, so my guidingquestions for you are which part
of the story are you telling toyourself and to others?
(16:23):
Which parts did you leave out?
Maybe the positive parts?
Maybe the negative parts?
Do you tend to be overlypositive, overly negative,
focused on others, focused onyourself?
It's all good, but the noticingbrings awareness and
(16:44):
empowerment.
In the part of the story thatyou told, did you get to be the
hero, the victim, neutral, ahelper?
What are the roles you tend toplay?
What reality is that creatingfor you and for others?
Is that the reality you want tocreate?
And then gently, with love andcompassion, guide your mind to
(17:08):
widen the lens on the story thatyou're telling or narrow the
lens.
What part of the story wouldyou focus in on?
Where would you shine yourspotlight?
On?
The story of everything thathappens?
That would be a little moreregenerative for you.
Would you share a little bitmore of what's good, a little
(17:30):
bit more of what's possible?
Would you share a little bitmore of what's good, a little
bit more of what's possible?
Would you share a more directand honest, neutral opinion?
Would you share more of thenegative?
Would you do less talking?
Would you do more?
What part of the story are youtelling and what world is that
(17:52):
creating for you?
That's what I've got for youthis week and I will see you
next week.
If you like what you're hearingon the podcast, you gotta come
and join us in the Bloom Room.
This is a year-round membershipwhere we take all of these
(18:13):
concepts and we apply them toreal life in a community where
we have each other's backs andwe bring out the best in each
other.
We're all there to make ourideas real, one idea at a time.
I'll see you in the bloom room.
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