August 22, 2025 • 16 mins
Ever notice how much easier it is to point at a person and say, “YOU are the problem”? Yeah, me too. But here’s the truth: people aren’t the problem—problems are the problem. And when we stop confusing the two, everything gets lighter, easier, and way more solvable.
In this episode of the Bloom Your Mind Podcast, we’re going one layer deeper into conflict resolution and flipping the script: instead of making the person the issue, we learn how to sit shoulder-to-shoulder and face the actual issue together.
We’ll cover:
- Why this shift matters for your relationships, your problem-solving chops, and your ability to bring ideas to life.
- Why it’s a huge waste of time and energy to follow our brains down the rabbit hole of making others the problem and make ourselves the problem
- Betty Pries’ five roots of conflict (resources, history, structures, values, and communication) and how they show up in everyday life.
- Four laughably real examples of moving from “You’re the worst” to “Hey, looks like we have a trash monster problem.”
- A step-by-step exercise to help you spot where you’re making someone the problem, reframe it, and approach them in a way that makes collaboration actually possible.
Spoiler: once you stop turning people into villains and start tackling the real problem, you’ll save yourself a ton of drama, resentment, and late-night imaginary arguments in the shower. You’ll also have WAY more time to focus on making your ideas real.
✨ Your homework: Identify one spot in your life where you’ve been making a person the problem. Reframe it into a problem problem instead, then try out the “same side of the table” approach. Bonus points if you use humor to call out the real monster.
✨ Share this episode with someone you love who might be making you the problem 😉
Mentioned on this episode:
- Listen to last week’s episode on resolving conflict if you missed it (it sets the stage for today).
How to connect with Marie:
- On the Web | The Local Bloom
- Instagram: @the.bloom.coach
- All Things Marie on LinkTree
JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to the Bloom your Mind Podcast, where we take
all of your ideas for what youwant and we turn them into real
things.
I'm your host, certified CoachMarie McDonald.
Let's get into it.
Well, hello everyone, andwelcome to episode number 141 of
(00:36):
the Bloom your Mind podcast,where we talk about making the
problem the problem instead ofmaking people the problem.
Today, I was leading the BloomRoom, and this brilliant person
in the Bloom Room, who is takingcare of a lot of different
people right now differentfamily members has a lot of
responsibilities that don'trelate to taking care of herself
, came up with again a brilliantsolution so that each time she
(01:01):
checks something off her list,that is a thing she needs to do
in service of someone else somaybe ordering her kids lunches
for school, or taking care ofsomething for her mom or her
partner or the community thatshe's a part of.
Every single time she crossessomething off her list for
(01:23):
someone else, she also requiresherself to cross something off
the list that she's doing inservice of herself, whether
that's making a doctor'sappointment or going for a walk
or something like that.
She has put into place a newstrategy that I love, so I
wanted to kick off our podcasttoday by sharing that with you.
Thank you, you know who you are.
(01:45):
You're brilliant and we loveyou.
All right, today we are goingdeeper into the topic of
conflict resolution, which is atopic that I'm just loving these
days.
As I said in last week'sepisode 140, Resolving Conflict,
which I recorded in themountains with no internet.
It's a wily little episode.
(02:06):
I recorded this overarchingview of conflict resolution
because I've been doing lots ofconflict resolution over the
past year.
People keep approaching me toresolve conflicts in workplaces
and family units andrelationships and friendships,
so I've been doing lots ofresearch and there's a book
called the Space Between Us byBetty Prize, recommended to me
(02:29):
by a dear friend, that reallycovers this topic beautifully,
but in listening to it, a coupleof people said can we do more
on this topic?
This is a beautiful intro, butI feel like you could do one
episode on each one of thesedifferent tools.
So I said yes, I love feedbackand today is all about making
the problem the problem.
So welcome again back to theBloom your Mind podcast.
(02:53):
Last week we dove into resolvingconflict and today we're going
one layer deeper, talking aboutwhat happens when we stop making
people the problem and insteadmake the problem the problem.
I know, I know it's simple tosay this, but let's be real.
It's not our instinct.
Our brains are really good atdeciding hey, you're the issue,
(03:17):
you're annoying, you're in myway, you're wrong, I'm the good
guy, you're the bad guy, I'm theone that has virtuous intention
.
You're clearly not that way, oryou're delusional.
Right, we're really good atmaking other people wrong and
making them the problem.
But when we shift ourperspective, when we pull the
(03:37):
person out of the bullseye andput the actual problem there,
our relationships change, ourproblem solving gets sharper and
our ideas actually have achance to grow into real things
in the world instead of gettingstuck in a cage match.
So let's look at exactly how wecan do this Deep dive into this
(03:59):
concept of making the problemthe problem.
Here's why it matters.
First of all.
Why it matters forrelationships is because when
you make someone the problem,they have two options they can
defend or they can disappear.
Neither option helps youactually connect.
But when you sit on the sameside of the table with them, as
(04:20):
Brene Brown says, and say, hey,let's look at this problem
together, what you do is youkeep the relationship, the
connection with the other person, intact.
It's like being teammatesinstead of being opponents.
You know, as opponents you'refighting each other.
As teammates you're fightingthe problem.
Now let's just look at problemsolving.
Problems don't get solved whenthe humans are busy arm
(04:43):
wrestling, kind of like we justsaid.
If you're too busy proving yourpartner, your boss, your kid
wrong, the actual problem is inthe corner doing jazz hands.
We just ignore it.
We think we're solving it.
We're really just trying tochange the person in front of us
, trying to prove why we'reright and they're wrong.
But when we refocus on thething instead of the person,
(05:07):
solutions pop up faster becausewe are not in fight or flight,
we are not triggered, we are notin an ego match.
We actually have access to ourcreative thinking and we can
solve problems All right.
One more reason why it matters.
Well, we're all about making ourideas real here and this one's
a little bit sneaky when we'reworking to make our ideas into
(05:31):
real things in the world,whether these are ideas for
books, we want to writecompanies, we want to start
communities, we want to found orjust ideas for a habit, we want
to change a way, we want tobecome a better person in
relationship with others.
We often make ourselves theproblem.
I'm not disciplined enough, I'mnot good at this, I always
(05:53):
screw up.
I don't know how.
No one will like this idea.
I never follow through.
Do any of those sound familiar?
When we make ourselves theproblem, we stall out, we get
caught in our old loops, our oldprogramming.
But when we frame the problemas the problem like for instance
(06:14):
, saying I need a better systemfor getting started or I need
feedback to make the ideastronger Suddenly there's
something that you can actuallydo something about.
So these are all reasons whymaking the problem, the problem,
matters.
All right, last week I talkedabout Betty Price and here are
her five roots of conflict.
(06:34):
She says that beneath everyconflict there's really just
five categories of what we'reactually fighting about.
So while we are making theperson the problem, what's
really happening is nothing isever about the other person.
Really, there's always a rootthat's about one of these five
things.
Number one resources.
Number two history.
Number three structures.
(06:57):
Number four values.
And number five communication.
So let's walk through thesewith real life examples of how
to shift from a person problemto a problem problem.
Example number one if we'refighting about resources.
A person problem sounds likethis your coworker hogs the
(07:21):
conference room every Tuesdayand you decide ugh, she's so
selfish, she's the worst.
Now let's take that and put itinto a problem problem.
Hey, looks like the problem iswe only have one conference room
and we have four teams who needit at the same time.
Let's all talk about how tosolve the problem of this
(07:42):
limited space with more peoplewho need it than there is space
to share.
Okay, now you're brainstormingabout scheduling hacks instead
of plotting your co-worker'sdemise.
Example number two history.
There's something, there's anincident that needs to be talked
about.
Okay, person problem version.
My partner forgot to take outthe trash again.
(08:04):
Maybe your brain says theynever help, they don't care
about me.
Now let's take that personproblem into a problem problem.
The problem is when the trashpiles up, I feel taken for
granted and overwhelmed.
I'm owning that.
That's my reaction.
Let's solve the trash systemtogether.
(08:25):
All right, a trash system wayless dramatic than making the
problem.
Your partner right.
And it's way more solvable thanrewriting your partner's entire
personality or getting into abig fight because you're talking
in generalizations and sayingthings that maybe you don't mean
If we make the trash about theperson, it becomes a big, big,
big problem.
(08:45):
If we make it about the trash,we can solve it together, all
right.
Example number three structures.
A person problem version.
You think your boss ismicromanaging monster who just
loves watching you suffer.
You think your boss has to havetheir hands on everything super
(09:06):
controlling and supermicromanaging.
Okay, now let's break this downand put this into a problem
problem.
The problem is we don't have aclear process for decision
making and sign offs, so my bosskeeps jumping in last minute.
How can we fix this processtogether and get really clear on
(09:27):
roles and responsibilitiesaround decision-making?
How can we make sure we'recalibrated so I can have more
autonomy?
Now it's a structure problem,not a demon boss problem.
Right, we all think that we'reon the side of good, but when we
break this down, we can see howeverybody's doing their best
(09:47):
with what they have most of thetime, and even when we can't, we
depersonalize so that then wecan actually solve things, make
them better, instead of gettinginto an arm wrestling match.
All right, example number four,and I'll give one more, and
then I'm going to give you anexercise that you can actually
do.
Example number four the personproblem version of having a
(10:08):
disagreement about values.
Let's say you're throwing ananniversary party for your
parents and your sister wants asmall, private, very intimate
event and you want a giantblowout bash.
You think she's a buzzkill andshe's just like always getting
in your way of creating.
(10:28):
Just because she's introverteddoesn't mean that you can't
celebrate your parents in a bigway.
Okay, that's the person problem.
Making it about your sisterlet's look at the problem
problem.
The problem is we valuedifferent things about
celebrations.
She values intimacy, I valueconnection through big community
.
Let's see how we can eitherhonor both values or just ask
(10:51):
our parents what they want.
Right Now, you're collaborators, not frenemies.
You're recognizing oh right, weeach have different values.
Neither one is right, neitherone is better.
We are just valuing differentthings.
Let's either take a middle roador figure out how to make this
not about us.
Make it about our parents.
(11:11):
Last example, number five,communication, my favorite the
person problem version is let'ssay your teenager gives you one
word, answers that feeldefensive all the time and you
just decide that they're lazyand disrespectful.
Okay, they're just a teenager.
Their hormones are terrible.
I'm just gonna write offconnection with them these years
of their life because they'rejust a raging hormone teenager.
(11:32):
Okay, let's turn that into aproblem problem.
The problem is we don't have aneasy way to communicate with
one another when we're bothtired or stressed.
So how do we open up space fora real conversation where we can
be real, we can make mistakes,we can be on the same team.
That's a puzzle now, instead ofa character flaw.
(11:52):
All right, those were fiveexamples of how to take a
problem from being about aperson and moving it into making
it about a problem, using thefive root problems that
generally are what conflict isabout Resources, history,
structures, values andcommunication.
(12:13):
If you want to hear more andextended versions of those, you
can go back to the last episodeon resolving conflict, where I
kind of lay out the big map ofboth making a problem a problem
instead of the person, theproblem, the five things that
conflict is really about, and aframework for how to approach
(12:35):
someone that you're in conflictwith that has the least
likelihood of putting them intoa defensive stance and the best
likelihood of helping you ownthe problem so you can solve it.
All right.
So the exercise I'm going tolet you end with today is
switching from the person to theproblem.
Here we go.
Time to put into practice.
Grab a pen or just let thisland in your head if you're
(12:56):
driving or walking.
I highly recommend writingthese things out Tends to
actually cement these practicesmuch more successfully.
So, step one identify the personthat's the problem for you and
just hey, nobody's going to readthis.
You can burn it afterwards.
You can shred it up.
Think of one person in yourlife right now who feels like
(13:16):
they are the problem.
Write their name down.
Be honest, no one else is goingto see it.
Who's your problem?
Number two name the problemproblem.
Now ask if I pull their nameout of the center of this issue.
What is the actual problem?
Is it about resources, history,structure, a difference in
values, a difference inexpectations around
(13:39):
communication?
Now step three sit on the sameside of the table.
Actually picture yourselfliterally scooching your chair
around until you're next to thisperson, shoulder to shoulder,
looking at the problem together.
And number four plan yourapproach.
Instead of going to them withyou're, so insert your insult
(14:02):
there.
Go with, hey.
I think the problem we're bothbumping into is this when we see
this problem, this is theimpact that it has on me.
This is the experience I have,which I know is not your
intention, it's not your problem, right?
It's just the experience that Ihave.
So I'd love to solve this.
Can we solve it together?
And, if you like, you can gointo it with an idea of how you
(14:23):
can solve it.
Here's one specific thing Ithink we could do.
Or you can just say can we lookat this together and come up
with a plan?
And listen.
You can even say it cheeky ifit's your style.
I don't want to fight you.
I want us to fight theoverflowing trash monster
together.
Suddenly, you go from being inopposition to one another to
(14:45):
having a little bit of humanity,a little bit of humor and
actually having a chance atsolving something.
When we do this, conflictbrings us together as people, in
relationship, and also it helpsus to evolve as individuals.
So this week, my challenge toyou is to make the problem the
problem.
Don't let yourself be theproblem.
(15:05):
Don't let someone else be theproblem.
Don't let your idea be theproblem.
Don't let your brain stop athey, they're the issue, I'm the
issue.
Peel back the curtain and askwhat is the actual problem here,
if it's not a person and thensit side by side with the other
person or with your own brainwho's trying to make you the
(15:27):
problem and solve the realproblem.
Because when we stop makingpeople the problem, we protect
our relationships, we getcreative solutions and, most
importantly, we move pastself-doubt, self-criticism into
making our ideas into realthings in the world, which is
what the world needs your ideasfor how it can be a better place
(15:50):
.
All right, that's what I've gotfor you today.
Go forth and fight the rightmonster, and I will see you next
week.
If you like what you're hearingon the podcast, you've got to
(16:12):
come and join us in the BloomRoom.
This is a year-round membershipwhere we take all of these
concepts and we apply them toreal life in a community where
we have each other's backs andwe bring out the best in each
other.
We're all there to make ourideas real, one idea at a time.
I'll see you in the bloom room.
Welcome to the Bloom your Mind Podcast, where we take
all of your ideas for what youwant and we turn them into real
things.
I'm your host, certified CoachMarie McDonald.
Let's get into it.
Well, hello everyone, andwelcome to episode number 141 of
(00:36):
the Bloom your Mind podcast,where we talk about making the
problem the problem instead ofmaking people the problem.
Today, I was leading the BloomRoom, and this brilliant person
in the Bloom Room, who is takingcare of a lot of different
people right now differentfamily members has a lot of
responsibilities that don'trelate to taking care of herself
, came up with again a brilliantsolution so that each time she
(01:01):
checks something off her list,that is a thing she needs to do
in service of someone else somaybe ordering her kids lunches
for school, or taking care ofsomething for her mom or her
partner or the community thatshe's a part of.
Every single time she crossessomething off her list for
(01:23):
someone else, she also requiresherself to cross something off
the list that she's doing inservice of herself, whether
that's making a doctor'sappointment or going for a walk
or something like that.
She has put into place a newstrategy that I love, so I
wanted to kick off our podcasttoday by sharing that with you.
Thank you, you know who you are.
(01:45):
You're brilliant and we loveyou.
All right, today we are goingdeeper into the topic of
conflict resolution, which is atopic that I'm just loving these
days.
As I said in last week'sepisode 140, Resolving Conflict,
which I recorded in themountains with no internet.
It's a wily little episode.
(02:06):
I recorded this overarchingview of conflict resolution
because I've been doing lots ofconflict resolution over the
past year.
People keep approaching me toresolve conflicts in workplaces
and family units andrelationships and friendships,
so I've been doing lots ofresearch and there's a book
called the Space Between Us byBetty Prize, recommended to me
(02:29):
by a dear friend, that reallycovers this topic beautifully,
but in listening to it, a coupleof people said can we do more
on this topic?
This is a beautiful intro, butI feel like you could do one
episode on each one of thesedifferent tools.
So I said yes, I love feedbackand today is all about making
the problem the problem.
So welcome again back to theBloom your Mind podcast.
(02:53):
Last week we dove into resolvingconflict and today we're going
one layer deeper, talking aboutwhat happens when we stop making
people the problem and insteadmake the problem the problem.
I know, I know it's simple tosay this, but let's be real.
It's not our instinct.
Our brains are really good atdeciding hey, you're the issue,
(03:17):
you're annoying, you're in myway, you're wrong, I'm the good
guy, you're the bad guy, I'm theone that has virtuous intention
.
You're clearly not that way, oryou're delusional.
Right, we're really good atmaking other people wrong and
making them the problem.
But when we shift ourperspective, when we pull the
(03:37):
person out of the bullseye andput the actual problem there,
our relationships change, ourproblem solving gets sharper and
our ideas actually have achance to grow into real things
in the world instead of gettingstuck in a cage match.
So let's look at exactly how wecan do this Deep dive into this
(03:59):
concept of making the problemthe problem.
Here's why it matters.
First of all.
Why it matters forrelationships is because when
you make someone the problem,they have two options they can
defend or they can disappear.
Neither option helps youactually connect.
But when you sit on the sameside of the table with them, as
(04:20):
Brene Brown says, and say, hey,let's look at this problem
together, what you do is youkeep the relationship, the
connection with the other person, intact.
It's like being teammatesinstead of being opponents.
You know, as opponents you'refighting each other.
As teammates you're fightingthe problem.
Now let's just look at problemsolving.
Problems don't get solved whenthe humans are busy arm
(04:43):
wrestling, kind of like we justsaid.
If you're too busy proving yourpartner, your boss, your kid
wrong, the actual problem is inthe corner doing jazz hands.
We just ignore it.
We think we're solving it.
We're really just trying tochange the person in front of us
, trying to prove why we'reright and they're wrong.
But when we refocus on thething instead of the person,
(05:07):
solutions pop up faster becausewe are not in fight or flight,
we are not triggered, we are notin an ego match.
We actually have access to ourcreative thinking and we can
solve problems All right.
One more reason why it matters.
Well, we're all about making ourideas real here and this one's
a little bit sneaky when we'reworking to make our ideas into
(05:31):
real things in the world,whether these are ideas for
books, we want to writecompanies, we want to start
communities, we want to found orjust ideas for a habit, we want
to change a way, we want tobecome a better person in
relationship with others.
We often make ourselves theproblem.
I'm not disciplined enough, I'mnot good at this, I always
(05:53):
screw up.
I don't know how.
No one will like this idea.
I never follow through.
Do any of those sound familiar?
When we make ourselves theproblem, we stall out, we get
caught in our old loops, our oldprogramming.
But when we frame the problemas the problem like for instance
(06:14):
, saying I need a better systemfor getting started or I need
feedback to make the ideastronger Suddenly there's
something that you can actuallydo something about.
So these are all reasons whymaking the problem, the problem,
matters.
All right, last week I talkedabout Betty Price and here are
her five roots of conflict.
(06:34):
She says that beneath everyconflict there's really just
five categories of what we'reactually fighting about.
So while we are making theperson the problem, what's
really happening is nothing isever about the other person.
Really, there's always a rootthat's about one of these five
things.
Number one resources.
Number two history.
Number three structures.
(06:57):
Number four values.
And number five communication.
So let's walk through thesewith real life examples of how
to shift from a person problemto a problem problem.
Example number one if we'refighting about resources.
A person problem sounds likethis your coworker hogs the
(07:21):
conference room every Tuesdayand you decide ugh, she's so
selfish, she's the worst.
Now let's take that and put itinto a problem problem.
Hey, looks like the problem iswe only have one conference room
and we have four teams who needit at the same time.
Let's all talk about how tosolve the problem of this
(07:42):
limited space with more peoplewho need it than there is space
to share.
Okay, now you're brainstormingabout scheduling hacks instead
of plotting your co-worker'sdemise.
Example number two history.
There's something, there's anincident that needs to be talked
about.
Okay, person problem version.
My partner forgot to take outthe trash again.
(08:04):
Maybe your brain says theynever help, they don't care
about me.
Now let's take that personproblem into a problem problem.
The problem is when the trashpiles up, I feel taken for
granted and overwhelmed.
I'm owning that.
That's my reaction.
Let's solve the trash systemtogether.
(08:25):
All right, a trash system wayless dramatic than making the
problem.
Your partner right.
And it's way more solvable thanrewriting your partner's entire
personality or getting into abig fight because you're talking
in generalizations and sayingthings that maybe you don't mean
If we make the trash about theperson, it becomes a big, big,
big problem.
(08:45):
If we make it about the trash,we can solve it together, all
right.
Example number three structures.
A person problem version.
You think your boss ismicromanaging monster who just
loves watching you suffer.
You think your boss has to havetheir hands on everything super
(09:06):
controlling and supermicromanaging.
Okay, now let's break this downand put this into a problem
problem.
The problem is we don't have aclear process for decision
making and sign offs, so my bosskeeps jumping in last minute.
How can we fix this processtogether and get really clear on
(09:27):
roles and responsibilitiesaround decision-making?
How can we make sure we'recalibrated so I can have more
autonomy?
Now it's a structure problem,not a demon boss problem.
Right, we all think that we'reon the side of good, but when we
break this down, we can see howeverybody's doing their best
(09:47):
with what they have most of thetime, and even when we can't, we
depersonalize so that then wecan actually solve things, make
them better, instead of gettinginto an arm wrestling match.
All right, example number four,and I'll give one more, and
then I'm going to give you anexercise that you can actually
do.
Example number four the personproblem version of having a
(10:08):
disagreement about values.
Let's say you're throwing ananniversary party for your
parents and your sister wants asmall, private, very intimate
event and you want a giantblowout bash.
You think she's a buzzkill andshe's just like always getting
in your way of creating.
(10:28):
Just because she's introverteddoesn't mean that you can't
celebrate your parents in a bigway.
Okay, that's the person problem.
Making it about your sisterlet's look at the problem
problem.
The problem is we valuedifferent things about
celebrations.
She values intimacy, I valueconnection through big community
.
Let's see how we can eitherhonor both values or just ask
(10:51):
our parents what they want.
Right Now, you're collaborators, not frenemies.
You're recognizing oh right, weeach have different values.
Neither one is right, neitherone is better.
We are just valuing differentthings.
Let's either take a middle roador figure out how to make this
not about us.
Make it about our parents.
(11:11):
Last example, number five,communication, my favorite the
person problem version is let'ssay your teenager gives you one
word, answers that feeldefensive all the time and you
just decide that they're lazyand disrespectful.
Okay, they're just a teenager.
Their hormones are terrible.
I'm just gonna write offconnection with them these years
of their life because they'rejust a raging hormone teenager.
(11:32):
Okay, let's turn that into aproblem problem.
The problem is we don't have aneasy way to communicate with
one another when we're bothtired or stressed.
So how do we open up space fora real conversation where we can
be real, we can make mistakes,we can be on the same team.
That's a puzzle now, instead ofa character flaw.
(11:52):
All right, those were fiveexamples of how to take a
problem from being about aperson and moving it into making
it about a problem, using thefive root problems that
generally are what conflict isabout Resources, history,
structures, values andcommunication.
(12:13):
If you want to hear more andextended versions of those, you
can go back to the last episodeon resolving conflict, where I
kind of lay out the big map ofboth making a problem a problem
instead of the person, theproblem, the five things that
conflict is really about, and aframework for how to approach
(12:35):
someone that you're in conflictwith that has the least
likelihood of putting them intoa defensive stance and the best
likelihood of helping you ownthe problem so you can solve it.
All right.
So the exercise I'm going tolet you end with today is
switching from the person to theproblem.
Here we go.
Time to put into practice.
Grab a pen or just let thisland in your head if you're
(12:56):
driving or walking.
I highly recommend writingthese things out Tends to
actually cement these practicesmuch more successfully.
So, step one identify the personthat's the problem for you and
just hey, nobody's going to readthis.
You can burn it afterwards.
You can shred it up.
Think of one person in yourlife right now who feels like
(13:16):
they are the problem.
Write their name down.
Be honest, no one else is goingto see it.
Who's your problem?
Number two name the problemproblem.
Now ask if I pull their nameout of the center of this issue.
What is the actual problem?
Is it about resources, history,structure, a difference in
values, a difference inexpectations around
(13:39):
communication?
Now step three sit on the sameside of the table.
Actually picture yourselfliterally scooching your chair
around until you're next to thisperson, shoulder to shoulder,
looking at the problem together.
And number four plan yourapproach.
Instead of going to them withyou're, so insert your insult
(14:02):
there.
Go with, hey.
I think the problem we're bothbumping into is this when we see
this problem, this is theimpact that it has on me.
This is the experience I have,which I know is not your
intention, it's not your problem, right?
It's just the experience that Ihave.
So I'd love to solve this.
Can we solve it together?
And, if you like, you can gointo it with an idea of how you
(14:23):
can solve it.
Here's one specific thing Ithink we could do.
Or you can just say can we lookat this together and come up
with a plan?
And listen.
You can even say it cheeky ifit's your style.
I don't want to fight you.
I want us to fight theoverflowing trash monster
together.
Suddenly, you go from being inopposition to one another to
(14:45):
having a little bit of humanity,a little bit of humor and
actually having a chance atsolving something.
When we do this, conflictbrings us together as people, in
relationship, and also it helpsus to evolve as individuals.
So this week, my challenge toyou is to make the problem the
problem.
Don't let yourself be theproblem.
(15:05):
Don't let someone else be theproblem.
Don't let your idea be theproblem.
Don't let your brain stop athey, they're the issue, I'm the
issue.
Peel back the curtain and askwhat is the actual problem here,
if it's not a person and thensit side by side with the other
person or with your own brainwho's trying to make you the
(15:27):
problem and solve the realproblem.
Because when we stop makingpeople the problem, we protect
our relationships, we getcreative solutions and, most
importantly, we move pastself-doubt, self-criticism into
making our ideas into realthings in the world, which is
what the world needs your ideasfor how it can be a better place
(15:50):
.
All right, that's what I've gotfor you today.
Go forth and fight the rightmonster, and I will see you next
week.
If you like what you're hearingon the podcast, you've got to
(16:12):
come and join us in the BloomRoom.
This is a year-round membershipwhere we take all of these
concepts and we apply them toreal life in a community where
we have each other's backs andwe bring out the best in each
other.
We're all there to make ourideas real, one idea at a time.
I'll see you in the bloom room.
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