August 6, 2025 • 45 mins
Time—the ultimate non-renewable resource. For blue collar business owners juggling family life with entrepreneurial demands, time management isn't just a productivity hack—it's survival.
In this raw and revealing second installment of our Date Night series, my wife Sara and I pull back the curtain on how we manage the constant tug-of-war between business and family time. From our hectic 5:30am wake-ups to the delicate dance of bedtime routines, we share an unfiltered look at what keeps our wheels turning while trying to preserve our most important relationship.
"Prioritize the moment" became our unexpected mantra during one particularly stressful exchange, and it's transformed how we approach each day. We candidly discuss those times when the business completely engulfed our marriage, like during a challenging partnership dissolution while simultaneously building our home and raising young children. These crucibles taught us painful but necessary lessons about what truly matters.
The mental shift from "work mode" to "family mode" is something I still struggle with daily. Those 5-10 minutes in the driveway before walking through the door have become a sacred transition time. Meanwhile, Sara shares her perspective on handling the overwhelming mental load when there's always something else demanding attention.
Our Sunday evening calendar check has revolutionized how we function as a team. This simple practice ensures family events get priority scheduling before business commitments hit the calendar, preventing the resentment that builds when important personal moments are forgotten or dismissed.
Whether you're building a business with your spouse or simply trying to maintain a healthy relationship while pursuing entrepreneurial dreams, this conversation offers both practical strategies and the comfort of knowing you're not alone in the struggle. Join us as we share what we've learned about protecting, sharing, and maximizing our most precious resource—time together.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hey guys, welcome to the Blue Collar Business Podcast
, where we discuss the realest,rawest, most relevant stories
and strategies behind buildingevery corner of a blue collar
business.
I'm your host, cy Kirby, and Iwant to help you in what it took
me trial and error and a wholelot of money to learn the
information that no one in thisindustry is willing to share.
Whether you're under that shadetree or have your hard hat on,
(00:30):
let's expand your toolbox, guys.
Welcome back to another episodeof a special edition Blue
Collar Business Podcast.
We are calling this Date Night,if you missed part one.
Part one was about intimacy andpersonal connection and
(00:51):
emotional.
Just basically how we deal witheach other's emotions during
marriage and business do.
I have my wonderful wifesitting down with me and we're
doing a four-part series hereand essentially the podcast is
(01:11):
kind of laid out like a littlebit of a date night.
We've got an appetizer course,first course and, if you missed,
the main course, questions.
Yesterday I even teared up, sothat was pretty cool.
Today's episode is all abouttime and how to protect it,
share it and not lose each otherin the middle of a nonstop
schedule.
So let's get into it.
Mama, thanks for co-hosting.
(01:32):
Again, I really like youco-hosting.
I'm not going to lie.
I think we could probably bringsome guests in and you could
help me co-host this show verywell.
So what's a typical day looklike from for us wake up to shut
down?
um well let's just start rightthere, so they know what we're
(01:53):
facing.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Yeah, so you want a summer schedule or school
schedule?
Give us school schedule, okayschool schedule.
Okay, school schedule is 5.30,.
Wake up, mom and daddy.
You and I get ready, we startthe day.
(02:18):
Then I typically will go starton the kids' lunches, getting
them up, getting the breakfast.
You will get your day kind ofplanned and Look at the four
calendars.
Yes, and kind of do that, andthen we all will typically walk
(02:42):
out the door about 7, 7.15.
And then from there, well, wesay prayers, walk out the door,
you go to work, depending onwhat your day looks like.
I don't know what you do duringthe day, so I can't attend to
that, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I do nothing.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Yeah, you just go to the office.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
That's right, you just sit there.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Whatever, and then I will drop the kids off at school
and then come back to the houseand get myself ready for work
and the day, and then I willwork Either or Handle all the
personal things and the day, andthen I will what Either, or
(03:27):
handle all the personal thingsthat floated in our lives.
That's true.
Doctors of White Nights DMVtrips.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Football games, basketball games.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
I won't get ready for this and that.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Your day can be consisting of working on APAR,
or it can be running to full ofappointments.
A-p-a-r, or it can be run intofull of appointments, but your
one definite day you're in theoffice is Wednesdays.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Yes, whether it's summer or Yep.
Yeah, wednesdays is my officedays.
If you need me at the office,wednesdays 9 to 2.
Okay, that's when I work in theoffice.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
That does not mean that's the only time I'm working
, but we actually just got you awonderful desk set up at home.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Yes, and it's going to be so glorious.
I'm so excited I can actuallysit in our main living space and
work with the kiddos Duringsummertime, yeah yes, we have
more of a summertime scheduleand that's kind of why we did it
, but it's.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
I mean, we have a very busy life, but okay, we get
through the day.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
get kiddos picked up, right Kids get picked up at 210
, which seems really short.
Now that we're like talkingabout it, I feel like when we
went to school it lasted foreverand now it's like 3, 30 or 4
o'clock 8 o'clock they startschool and they're off school by
(04:54):
2 10 2, 30, I think, 3, 10, 3,10 no 3 10 yeah, it's 3 10.
Mom, are you sure positive,you're in the school line by 2
10 probably so like we're aboutto start school schedule again,
so I'll get back into the roomof it.
But even three o'clock does notseem like that long of a day,
(05:18):
but I mean, I guess they'rekindergartners, so it's not like
kiddos scooped and sorry, we'reheading, you're fine and we're
heading for a house.
Yep, that's part of our day,yeah, and then dinner on the
table by six.
That's the goal.
It's not always happened, butthe goal is six o'clock.
We try to have family dinner atsix o'clock.
(05:38):
Bedtimes.
That's what we're kind ofworking with.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
That's our family dynamic and yeah, obviously you
guys know, um, my day canconsist of um school schedule.
I want to.
I want to throw this out there,since we're talking about time
today and something it's morevaluable to me than money.
(06:02):
Took me a long time to figurethat out, but I take the kids to
school on Tuesdays andThursdays.
We're going to get into alittle bit of how I ensure that
family time is there and it'simportant for me on Tuesdays and
Thursdays to get that littlebit of time with my babies
(06:25):
before I start the day, and it'srejuvenating.
I get to see them, I get totell them to be a leader every
single time they get out of thattruck and I get their hugs and
their kisses.
Mama really likes it.
But five days a week of thesame thing, it's a lot.
Hand throw baby K on top of it.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Yeah, this we do have to say, like our schedule is
going to look much differentthis year.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Because we have a baby.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Yeah.
So that's going to change thingsaround a little bit, but my day
can consist from being on a jobsite at eight o'clock going
through a problem could be asprinkled a little bit of
filming at that job site,whether Will's with me or not.
Maybe working with asuperintendent on an issue,
(07:09):
maybe working with a customer onsome extra work.
There's so many differentthings.
I'm kind of serving that opsmanager role still that ops
manager role still, but, uh, andthat project manager role, as
we are having superintendent ona track.
Um, that's going to alleviate alittle bit of my time.
(07:32):
And actually just reallyquickly here, guys, we're
looking for an ops manager atSyCon.
That would alleviate, um, a lotof the operations off of me and
we're looking for the rightcandidate.
We're not in any rush, but youcan check out the application on
LinkedIn or go to our website,syconexecom, and check out the
(07:57):
job description there.
Mama would really appreciateyou showing up sooner rather
than later Moving past that.
But our typical day, you justnever know, on your side of the
table, from 8 to 5.
On my side it's going to beworking and it's usually 7 to 5.
Tuesdays and Thursdays I reallystrive to be home before 5
(08:22):
o'clock, right at 5 o'clock.
Some days it just doesn't flathappen.
But if I'm going to sacrificethat family time it better be
for something really dire stresssituation either emergency for
tomorrow, you know, have to goget a certain kind of tool that
night.
(08:43):
Mean, it's really gotta besomething.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
So anyhow, I'm just trying to preface that I really
cherish that time and do youever feel like you 100 clock off
of work or do you feel like youmore?
So you know shift change fromwork to home.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Really good question.
The day-to-day stuff leaves mepretty easily, but the vision,
the future, where it's going,where it could go, that never
stops and it's I know, but doyou ever feel like you get to
(09:32):
clock out of cyclone and comehome?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
so you just like shift, change from like the
day-to-day it's a shift it's amindset shift yeah like I still
am.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yeah, and I struggled with this identity crisis for a
very long time.
You know there's people thatstill call me Cyclone, like
that's all they know me for, butI'm Cy Kirby at the end of the
day yeah.
And it's you know for me todifferentiate the two.
Me personally, you've watchedme go through this identity
(10:12):
crisis, especially over the lastyear.
Definitely shift change, toanswer your question, but it's a
shift in my mindset and no oneknows better and has seen me do
it.
There's some days I'm terribleat it and there's other days and
(10:34):
I'm much better at it.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Not that I want to be thinking about work, not that I
want to be thinking about theday-to-day or this bill or that
bill or this invoice or thatestimate.
I want to be thinking aboutwhat baseball team Colts can end
up on in the fall and howSadie's an incredible artist and
(10:58):
won her kindergarten art show.
Baby K is just literallychanging me.
I've said it so many times verypublicly his third baby.
She got me.
He's bad and uh, changing mefor the better though, and
making me see things a lotdifferently.
And uh, it's hard, guys.
(11:23):
You guys know how hard it is.
It's I think we said this inthe first episode as well.
You learn through experienceabout the things that are really
important.
Absolutely Like when I, when Isay that I'm talking about
business stuff, that youth viewin year one and year two are
just going to take you out,they're just go bankrupt right
now.
And in year one and year twoare just going to take you out,
(11:44):
they're just go bankrupt rightnow.
And in year six, you're likethat's a Tuesday, bro, like calm
down.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, I'm not even.
It's not a lie, guys.
I mean it's just experience.
And you figure out that.
What if that your mind is goingto immediately because of this
cause, this in effect, thateffect, you're just thinking, oh
(12:05):
, it's over.
But once you live that effectbecause of that cause, you're
like, well, it really ain't thatbad.
And so I think through thatprocess you really start to
understand that, yeah, it'sreally not a big deal, that'll
be there tomorrow, it'll all bethere tomorrow.
Oh yeah, and it definitely doestake some thought process.
(12:29):
I would say the biggest and Iknow there's a lot of blue
collar guys that would agreewith me it's that five to ten
minutes out in the driveway andI know I can't tell.
There's some times that I spendtime a little bit longer but
that when I rush into the houseand I don't have that five to 10
minutes, say a little quickprayer Good Lord, help me, bury
(12:51):
this, put away on the shelf.
I gotta be there for them,kiddos, tonight.
I gotta be there for mama.
She had a hard day today andshe just heard you know terrible
news all day and every scenarioshe's had.
And I know when I walk throughthis door I've got to be her
(13:12):
pillar of strength and you maybe absolutely crushed beyond
existence but you have to pullyourself together, find strength
within yourself for the goodLord and walk in there and be
that dad and be that husband,even when you can't.
And it's hard, guys, it'sreally, really hard, but that
five to ten minutes in thatdriveway for me helps me.
(13:33):
Quote unquote clock out.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
But as you know, Malin, you would probably agree
that it's really hard to justfully clock in oh yeah, no,
absolutely.
Well, we're moving here.
That's a little appetizers foryou Moving on here.
I got a question for you, mamawhen is a time that the business
completely oh man, y'all readyfor this?
(14:02):
We're going right into thefirst course here.
When is a time that businesscompletely took over our life,
and how did it impact ourmarriage?
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Well, I don't know how much you've talked about
this on the podcast, but when weoriginally started PsyCon, we
had business partners and we endup parting ways with them.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Very non-conducive agreement.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
The thing is is that you, looking back, you have 2020
vision, but in the moment, like, we thought we were doing what
was best and you know, if wecould go back and do it again,
we would do differently, but wecan't.
So we learned.
But when we were exiting thepartnership, um, it was a really
(15:02):
chaotic time.
It just really turned um thebusiness into like our whole
life and, um, when that washappening, we were also building
our house and we were alsorunning the business.
(15:25):
We had two young babies.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Living in 586 square feet, we had two dogs, two kids.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Yeah, yeah, but I mean, I think during that time
it really caused you and I to Ifeel like we grew in our
strength separately but we werenot working together as a team
to get anything accomplished.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Yeah, there was no cohesiveness.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
So it was like I was trying to do what you needed me
to do, and you were trying to dowhat I needed to do.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
We really didn't communicate.
Yeah, this is really what Ineed.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
We were not working together at all exactly at all
yep at all.
It was a trying timeunbelievable yeah thanks for not
giving up on me yeah, thanksfor not giving up on me too.
Didn't make it easy, that's forsure neither one of us did no
and uh.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
It's those experiences, though, that truly
sharpen the sword.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Sharpen the tool.
You know, the next time we'vegot to use the tool.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Yeah, yep.
How do you deal with the mentalload when you're constantly
thinking about the next job, thenext invoice, next customer,
even on date night, or kidsbaseball games?
Speaker 1 (16:54):
I don't even know how to put it into words, because I
still do it and I'm not goingto sit here and lie like I don't
.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
But the wandering mindset I know this sounds crazy
, but it's discipline of if I'mat a baseball game.
Look, I remember being a kid,whew Dadgummit, and my dad not
(17:38):
being there.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
God dang, I didn't know I was going to go through a
process during this deal, butyou know, I swore to you that
when it came to being a dad,that I was going to show them
what it was supposed to be likenot what I experienced and it's
(18:11):
a lot easier for me coming fromthe broken place home.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
And having that experience through life of
looking over at that sidelineand going, eh, back then it was
a hockey rink and I remember alot of times searching for
people you know, and I don'twant my kids to ever do that.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
No.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
And so that makes the games fun and I'm super
competitive, but that one'spretty easy because of trauma
triggers.
Yeah, but day and night, I'msorry, sorry, mama, there's
times you're sitting there andwe'll be talking and we don't
get date night.
I'm telling you guys, it is julyand this is probably we have a
(19:02):
six month old like the firsttime we've sat down with each
other other than business,straight up business talk, where
it had to be a businessconversation, and but I mean
still, I'm telling you guys,we'll go out on town, have a
great night and then I'll justfreeze.
Oh my god, I forgot about this,this and she'll know hey, what
(19:23):
do you think about?
nothing, nothing, okay, andwe'll just move on.
But hey, that's when you good,yeah, good, bury it, move on,
because tomorrow it'll be there.
She's too important, themkiddos are too important for us
to um men, for us to miss it.
(19:45):
They just need you to be there.
You know, it's not even thathard.
You know, you just need to bethere yeah oh, and I've made a
lot of mistakes and I've allain't missed but two ball games
(20:07):
out of the five years he'splayed.
Not missed a whole lot ofpractices and, uh, that's a
little bit easier and I know youneed me to be there yeah now
it's taken me some time.
The first five years I wasterrible at it, even when the
kids were babies like, and alsotoo I was kind of lost though
(20:28):
straight up when them that firstbaby.
I joke about it now every dadshould have to have three kids,
because you finally figure itout by the third one.
You know, with baby Kay, babyCaroline, I have been there day
one.
I know what I'm supposed to bedoing.
You know he poops sleep, butthere's more to it than that.
(20:50):
Yeah, absolutely poop sleep.
But there's more to it thanthat and I'm more involved and,
you know, with Colton, you knowwith our first two, it was well
Sadio's a little bit better,there ain't no doubt.
But Colt, I was not, I didn'teven, I was working out still
really hardcore.
It just I had my priorities allmessed up and you needed me and
(21:11):
I wasn't, especially when Coltwas first born and baby three,
baby two, showed me that andI've, you know, definitely not
tried to do the same thing twice.
But sorry, I've gone a littleoff here, but truly, babe, I'm
(21:31):
sorry for those day nines that Iwander because I try so hard.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I know, I know, but I think it's also like there's
times that I'm like yo stoptalking about PsyCon.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Everything in our life is either the business, or
the business or the kids yeahthat's it, but that is our life
oh yeah we've sacrificed a lotof our happiness and things that
we've necessarily wanted yeahthe boats, the, the fun stuff.
We, we, we had some.
(22:10):
We had a lot of fun in our 20s,but we worked our 20s away.
Yeah, we did.
And here we are sitting here,33, 34 years old.
I'm really excited about thefuture, babe.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Oh, yeah, no, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
But I look forward to always just being there.
I just wanted you to know thatI'm sorry on those days that I'm
not real present.
It's one.
You know that I'm sorry onthose days that I'm not real
present.
It's okay, although I want tobe.
Anyways, let's move on.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Life lessons and you know the moment you got it
perfect, you're done.
So it can take a little whileto figure it out.
You know how do we.
You know what I am, so donewith this.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
I am the host around you.
You keep asking me.
I love it.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Babe, shoot a far away you just don't you, you
just don't like the spotlight onme.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
It's challenging whatever, especially these
questions are challenging.
I'm'm going to say I mean we'retrying to be real with you guys
and literally shine thespotlight on kind of our
failures and our experiences.
Yeah, and trying to be as realand transparent through our
(23:25):
honesty when we didn't have itall put together, we're not Go
ahead Mo.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
How do we handle moments when one of us wants to
rest?
I'm really excited to hear youranswer on this.
How do we handle moments whenone of us wants to rest and the
other one is still in grind mode?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
I don't even know how to answer that.
We both need rest Really badly.
We really need some rest, sometrue rest, especially in this
last year, I know, but when I'mlike Can we not clean the house
today I'm so thinking about thisand you're like I've got to
(24:16):
have an answer tonight, babe.
You're just looking at me likewe're not.
You're not gonna get anything,tomorrow's a new day and we'll
talk about it tomorrow we comesin the morning honey does, and
how do we handle?
it's harder for me because I'malways in grind.
Look, since you met me, I agreewith that.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Yeah, 100%.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
And my mind is always six months, two years, five,
six months, two years, fivemonths.
And I'm just constantly.
Every move I make now, I know,defines six months from now, I
know defines a year from now, Iknow defines a year from now.
And I'm so hyper critical ofmyself so I never have enough
time to overanalyze.
(25:00):
And you're right, I am anoverthinker and I overthink a
lot of things.
But at the same time, when youlook at me and you say, baby
doll, I need some sleep email,hey, I've really had it.
Will you take baby k?
Or?
And you never ask me, I canjust see it though.
(25:21):
I can see and I can feel theaura in the room of oh okay, she
did just lay out an entire planlast night of everything that
we're going to get done, but sheneeds rest and I want to enjoy
that with you.
(25:41):
It's taken me probably until thepast couple of years and still
bad.
Now I got to say I'm not thebest at it, but really working
on it.
I got to say I'm not the bestat it, but really working on it.
And those moments where shekind of opens up to me, because
(26:02):
Sarah is the person that willnever let me see weakness.
She feels like we're incompetition all the time and
like, well, he's not as hard asyou.
You had a hard day.
I didn't do this and you didthat, and I did this and you did
it a hard day.
I didn't do this and you didthat and.
I did this and you did that andI said I didn't raise three kids
all day, you know, andsometimes I just don't
understand why her brain workslike that.
You know we're going at thistogether, but she just wants to
(26:25):
make sure that you know she'sbeing a proper team member and a
team player.
And I have to recognize andapologies for the slower
recognition over the years tofigure out that mom just needs a
nap on the couch and that'sokay at 2 o'clock on a Saturday
(26:50):
and I'm not really wired thatway.
Never have been.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
You wake up, grumpy Gus.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
I am a grumpy Gus every morning.
I've done there about that overthe years now.
But the other thing is I enjoyresting with her.
And the other thing is is Ienjoy resting with her as she
(27:28):
doesn't?
She almost opens the door to gohey, it's okay, you're allowed
to slow down for four hours, siton a couch, scroll TikTok, be,
let me sleep, just sit rightthere.
She don't want me going off anddoing nothing, but she wants me
sitting right there.
It's just she needs it andwe're each other's security
blanket.
She's my best friend, you're mybest friend, and vice versa.
And the security and peace thatshe offers is something to be
(27:50):
desired, and I hope anybodylistening finds that peace, and
you'll find it through the goodLord above.
We said it on the first episodebut all these struggles we faced
up until three or four yearsago and started going to that
church as a family every Sundayand now we serve and we help out
and even though our mouthsaren't the best sometimes, but
we love our Jesus and we try todo what's right and rest after
(28:19):
Sunday on a church.
That's where I was going with.
That is kind of our recoup time.
And I know you guys are like oh, I start thinking about Monday
and I do too.
As soon as church is over, Itry to rest.
But I'm thinking about Monday,I'm thinking about Wednesday,
I'm thinking about Friday, I'mthinking about okay, that's the
move Machines are there, all thethings, all the questions are
(28:39):
going to be coming, but I turnthat off and I have learned 6, 7
o'clock.
You can start that.
But the afternoon rest, letyour mind rest, let your body
rest.
Some days are better thanothers.
Two weekends, three weekendsago, I was stressed out of my
mind.
But I'm just trying to show youguys that it's not like it
(29:03):
doesn't ever go away.
You have to constantly choosethose moments with your family
out of grind mode.
Oh yeah, that's where I wasgoing with that.
Yeah, mama, I got one for you.
Okay, how do you space?
How do you make space forthings outside of work Family
(29:27):
time, personal time, rest whenthere's always something else it
needs doing?
Speaker 2 (29:35):
I mean, I don't not really I don't know, because
there's always something elsethat needs a list of things yes,
always, always.
But it's just you knowprioritizing, and you know um
really really love making a list.
I have them everywhere, allover the house, all the time,
(29:59):
one for every occasion.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Ta-miha to make lists .
Speaker 2 (30:02):
Yeah, they're glorious things, but I don't,
you know, over the years I wouldlet it consume me and not know
how to get everything done andI'd feel like a bad mom because
I'm like focusing on the workand, you know, feeling like a
(30:23):
bad business partner Because I'mnot like dealing with what I
need to be dealing with in theoffice, or feeling like a bad
wife because I'm doing momthings and business partner
things.
But you know, as we've burstthrough this chaotic life, I've
just realized that, you know,there's only a few things that
(30:50):
are going to completely take usout.
And you know, luckily we've gotthe good Lord on our side and
so I'm just going to have faiththat everything is going to be
okay.
No-transcript.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
A hundred percent of the pie.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Honestly, we all do well, yeah, well, yeah, no,
absolutely you can't.
But but to be able to do what Ican in every, in every aspect,
I have to fully commit to thatportion of what I'm doing at
that time, and so it getsoverwhelming and it gets
frustrating, sometimes feelslike I'm constantly just running
(31:55):
in circles.
But you know, I just have toprioritize what is most
important in the moment, youknow literally that's one of our
mottos.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
I don't know it, just I spit.
I can remember the day and Ijust spit it out one day, just
prioritize the moment.
And I was just stressed and Iwas.
It's one of those conversationslike hey, I really need an
answer out of you, like rightnow, so I can make this decision
tomorrow.
And mama bear's over here, I'mnot saying I remember right, but
it was more of a kid pressingmoment rather than it was a work
(32:32):
pressing moment.
I'm like prioritize the momentand my delivery was so bad.
But she did come back and waslike no, I understand the
prioritize the moment thing andheard her start using it, but it
would have been betterdelivered if I would use it in a
in a different way.
And I'm glad it slipped outbecause I've lived by it as well
.
Blue Collar PerformanceMarketing guys, results-driven
(32:52):
marketing agency.
Been working with them aboutnine months now, getting my
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They are the real deal and, ifyou're, there's tons of
marketing companies out there,but you need a results-driven
marketing company that's willingto analyze and see what's
(33:14):
working and what's not, sothey're not just sitting there
taking your money and Ike andhis team provide Extreme Value.
That's who we use at PsyConstill to this day.
They offer PPC, which ispay-per-click advertising,
social media management, websitedevelopment, emails, marketing
and content strategy.
That's who helps us.
(33:34):
That's on the YouTube sidepodcastvideoscom.
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Ike is behind the scenes helpingme strategize everything in the
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(33:54):
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Give them a ring.
So this, this last little bit ofdessert, as we've been going
through our date night and themain courses have been main
(34:18):
courses.
Yeah, my God, um, a big one forme.
That I was terrible at fromtime scheduling and planning and
list making and all of thosethings.
I was terrible at it and sarahwas much, much, much better at
(34:39):
it.
Now, the rules on the planningand scheduling.
You're still the queen listmaker, there's no doubt, but I
have two different sets of booksthat I run lists on.
We have a a whole year.
It's not fully updated in ourroom but it carries our personal
dates that I need to put intomy calendar, or Sarah puts them
(35:01):
in there, but anything that mamaneeds me to see from the kids,
et cetera, it's on that calendar.
I have another year calendar inmy office to be looking at and
it's more weather related andmore significant events for
business, but then I have anoutlook calendar.
That's the actual dead set.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
And that's the day to day where you need to be.
At what time?
Speaker 1 (35:25):
And if it's on that calendar, I will be there, if
not, I won't be there.
And how I set that calendarthere.
If not, I won't be there.
And how I set that calendar.
Um, where I'm going with thishere, guys just follow me.
But how I set that calendar, hey, mama, what we got going on in
the next three months?
Uh, well, colt's startingfootball again.
Uh, we got flag football.
(35:46):
Oh uh, he, he made the aubaseball team.
Or we're starting up rec leagueagain.
Oh, sadie's got cheer and BabyK's got three appointments this
week and I really would love toget my nails done at some point.
Okay, well, I mean.
And therefore, this spring,seven days a week, we had
(36:10):
baseball, football, baseball,football, football, baseball
every day of the week other thanSundays, but we squeezed a
practice in there.
It was challenging on top ofeverything else, but I made that
prioritization first.
That's what hit my calendarfirst, his entire baseball
schedule, cheerleading football,all of that made it onto my
work calendar first, and then Ischedule around it Okay, go to
(36:35):
the team, what's the next mostimportant things?
Start prioritizing, put them onthe calendar, move on.
But if you guys don't have thatcalendar together, I severely
encourage you to start today,because there's things that are
important to my beautiful wifehere, that are majorly important
(36:55):
to her, that are if you screwthis up, sigh, you ain't coming
home with teeth, or and it maybe on a one rector scale on my
world, but if she doesn't sharewith me how important this is.
And how do they do that,gentlemen?
Well, they tell us three times,right.
Well, if you, literally she'llbe telling me a date and I'll
grab my phone and I'll, if it'ssomething of the you know, of
(37:18):
importance, I'm sitting thereputting into outlook, right then
, so I don't freaking forget, Istill forget things.
Don't get wrong, by god.
But at the same time, we haveset our family's priorities
first and then we start into thework priorities.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
And I think that, especially with school coming up
about to get started again,we've kind of you know, pulled
away from it a little bit whilewe were in summer break.
But Sunday evenings we do acalendar check.
I pull up my calendar, he pullsout his calendar.
We make sure all the importantstuff is on.
Both things, um, and you know,just ensure that I know where
he's going to be at, he knowswhere I'm going to be at, his
important things, my importantthings, and just it really
(38:11):
allows for us to support eachother instead of like work
against each other.
That's right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
And we did that for a lot of years.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Yeah, we did no it's fine.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
And that's because my wife was like you've got to
write this crap down and that'swhat I'm telling you guys on the
show all the time.
Like I struggled with all ofthis stuff starting off, like I
was not a great list maker, Ididn't run a schedule, I didn't
have a company schedule, Ididn't have a personal schedule,
I just willy nilly, did it all.
Well, and then you wonder whyyou can't ever make it to
(38:44):
nothing.
Well, that's because you're notplaying it and you're only as
good as you're playing.
Don't get me wrong.
We're in the undergroundconstruction business.
It changes every three and ahalf seconds.
But we make the plans, godmakes the paths and that's
something that's actually on hermirror here, as of late I read
(39:05):
in a book, but I can't takecredit for that.
But I encourage you guys thisweek, if you haven't, this is
what we're trying to do.
There's a challenge from thefirst episode.
Go check that out guys.
But it's another littlechallenge here for you guys
moving forward and hopefully youguys are getting a little bit
of value out of this and maybeit's just the husband side of
(39:26):
things.
Maybe you share it with yourwife or maybe it's the wife
that's found this episode andshares it with her husband.
But talk about it with eachother and talk about, hopefully,
some points that we've proved,like hey, that right there, they
struggled with it too.
We're struggling with this.
Can we please just sit down andtalk about it?
Yeah, I truly hope, hope andpray that those doors are open
(39:47):
for you guys, especially in youryounger 30s, or if you're in
your 20s and you're trying tofigure this out for the blue
collar skilled trade space andemploy 10, 20, 30 people.
They're depending on you andthey're depending on your
relationship being rock solid soyou can be a leader in your
business.
So here's a little challengefor the week Sit down for 15
(40:10):
minutes and do a marriagecalendar check.
We do it on Sunday nights.
You're right.
In summertime we've definitelyalleviated off.
Summer's been fun this year.
I got to say we haven't doneany vacations.
We've been working away thisyear.
We made that deal together thisyear and we were going to work
through what we had to workthrough this year.
So we didn't have vacations therest of our lives, but this
(40:34):
year was a grind.
Uh, I sorry guys, a little offtrack there.
Sit down, sunday night could beFriday night before you guys
start the weekend, whatever, butusually Sunday, moving in uh to
Monday, ask your husband what'scoming up at work could cause
stress.
Or ask your wife.
You know, hey, what's in yourworld, um, ap, lady, ar lady
(40:58):
who's stressing you out becauseyou can't get them to answer the
phone.
To get jimmy bob pick up thatcheck, bob, jimmy bob give me a
check.
And that's where she just getsto 10, and I got to step in and
go hey man, where the heck isour money?
Or it may be from, hey, baby, Ireally got to pay this bill,
(41:22):
but I really don't think, youknow in the early years, I
really think we owe them thatmuch.
I think we've already paid them.
Thank God for QuickBooks andall the things we've learned.
Paid them, uh, thank god forquickbooks and all the things we
learned over the years say butuh, it may be.
When can you carve out a pocketof time, even just an hour?
Speaker 2 (41:41):
that's not about business or chores, and I'm
gonna be honest please whenyou're raising a young family,
there may not be a time that youcan carve out that's not 9
o'clock when the kids go to bedbut it is important.
You know, and I suggest thatyou ask.
(42:05):
You know touch base.
Is there anything that you'vebeen stressing about, that's
been heavy on your heart, thatyou know, that you've been
avoiding, that you want to touchbase on before it.
You know, builds that seed ofresentment and you know.
(42:25):
So just touch base.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Literally and be honest.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
Hey, no, this is really bugging me.
It's your best friend it's.
And be honest, yeah, hey, no,this is really bugging me.
It's your best friend, it'ssupposed to be yeah.
And if they got to continueguessing every single day?
That's not how we treat ourfriends.
You know, we're supposed to behonest, upfront.
Yes, we love each other sodeeply that we know if we tell
her exactly how we're feeling,it might hurt her feelings or
(42:52):
she might hurt mine, but youknow what that little bit of
hurt right then, and there is somuch better than the continued
daily hurt that I'm going to puther through or she's going to
put me through.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
So, guys, thank you so much for joining episode two
of Date Night.
This has been really fun.
Babe, I can't thank you enoughfor co-hosting in here.
We're almost at episode 50.
And so what episode were you?
(43:25):
Number four or five, I can'tquite remember.
You were in the top ten becauseyou were ten girls.
But just a reminder to you were10 girls, you know.
But just a reminder to you guys, man, you're not alone.
There's.
(43:45):
Couples struggle to stayconnected in major busy seasons,
let alone if you're building abusiness together, building a
family together.
I encourage you guys truly, doa quick calendar check.
Find out what's important toeach other, and next week's
episode is about conflict andcommunication.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
Can we?
Put it in the bar communication, jingle Communication, sure
does help.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
Stay tuned for that.
That's going to be a fun littleepisode.
Small reminder, guys if you'veloved these episodes or any of
the other episodes and it'sbrought you value, if you
wouldn't mind sharing it withsomebody.
Make sure you're subscribed onthe podcast platform that you're
listening to, or jump over tothe bluecollarbusinesspodcastcom
(44:27):
to watch or listen every singleepisode for free.
You don't have to have asubscription.
You can listen to it rightthere from the desktop version.
But if you do have a podcastplatform, give us a rating,
share it with somebody.
And till guys, till next time.
Part three is coming at youwith communication and conflict.
(44:48):
Y'all be safe, be kind, behumble.
If you've enjoyed this episode,be sure to give it a like.
Share it with the fellers.
Check out our website to sendus any questions and comments
about your experience in theblue collar business.
Who do you want to hear from?
Send them our way and we'll doour best to answer any questions
you may have.
Till next time, guys.
Hey guys, welcome to the Blue Collar Business Podcast
, where we discuss the realest,rawest, most relevant stories
and strategies behind buildingevery corner of a blue collar
business.
I'm your host, cy Kirby, and Iwant to help you in what it took
me trial and error and a wholelot of money to learn the
information that no one in thisindustry is willing to share.
Whether you're under that shadetree or have your hard hat on,
(00:30):
let's expand your toolbox, guys.
Welcome back to another episodeof a special edition Blue
Collar Business Podcast.
We are calling this Date Night,if you missed part one.
Part one was about intimacy andpersonal connection and
(00:51):
emotional.
Just basically how we deal witheach other's emotions during
marriage and business do.
I have my wonderful wifesitting down with me and we're
doing a four-part series hereand essentially the podcast is
(01:11):
kind of laid out like a littlebit of a date night.
We've got an appetizer course,first course and, if you missed,
the main course, questions.
Yesterday I even teared up, sothat was pretty cool.
Today's episode is all abouttime and how to protect it,
share it and not lose each otherin the middle of a nonstop
schedule.
So let's get into it.
Mama, thanks for co-hosting.
(01:32):
Again, I really like youco-hosting.
I'm not going to lie.
I think we could probably bringsome guests in and you could
help me co-host this show verywell.
So what's a typical day looklike from for us wake up to shut
down?
um well let's just start rightthere, so they know what we're
(01:53):
facing.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Yeah, so you want a summer schedule or school
schedule?
Give us school schedule, okayschool schedule.
Okay, school schedule is 5.30,.
Wake up, mom and daddy.
You and I get ready, we startthe day.
(02:18):
Then I typically will go starton the kids' lunches, getting
them up, getting the breakfast.
You will get your day kind ofplanned and Look at the four
calendars.
Yes, and kind of do that, andthen we all will typically walk
(02:42):
out the door about 7, 7.15.
And then from there, well, wesay prayers, walk out the door,
you go to work, depending onwhat your day looks like.
I don't know what you do duringthe day, so I can't attend to
that, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I do nothing.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Yeah, you just go to the office.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
That's right, you just sit there.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Whatever, and then I will drop the kids off at school
and then come back to the houseand get myself ready for work
and the day, and then I willwork Either or Handle all the
personal things and the day, andthen I will what Either, or
(03:27):
handle all the personal thingsthat floated in our lives.
That's true.
Doctors of White Nights DMVtrips.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Football games, basketball games.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
I won't get ready for this and that.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Your day can be consisting of working on APAR,
or it can be running to full ofappointments.
A-p-a-r, or it can be run intofull of appointments, but your
one definite day you're in theoffice is Wednesdays.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Yes, whether it's summer or Yep.
Yeah, wednesdays is my officedays.
If you need me at the office,wednesdays 9 to 2.
Okay, that's when I work in theoffice.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
That does not mean that's the only time I'm working
, but we actually just got you awonderful desk set up at home.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Yes, and it's going to be so glorious.
I'm so excited I can actuallysit in our main living space and
work with the kiddos Duringsummertime, yeah yes, we have
more of a summertime scheduleand that's kind of why we did it
, but it's.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
I mean, we have a very busy life, but okay, we get
through the day.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
get kiddos picked up, right Kids get picked up at 210
, which seems really short.
Now that we're like talkingabout it, I feel like when we
went to school it lasted foreverand now it's like 3, 30 or 4
o'clock 8 o'clock they startschool and they're off school by
(04:54):
2 10 2, 30, I think, 3, 10, 3,10 no 3 10 yeah, it's 3 10.
Mom, are you sure positive,you're in the school line by 2
10 probably so like we're aboutto start school schedule again,
so I'll get back into the roomof it.
But even three o'clock does notseem like that long of a day,
(05:18):
but I mean, I guess they'rekindergartners, so it's not like
kiddos scooped and sorry, we'reheading, you're fine and we're
heading for a house.
Yep, that's part of our day,yeah, and then dinner on the
table by six.
That's the goal.
It's not always happened, butthe goal is six o'clock.
We try to have family dinner atsix o'clock.
(05:38):
Bedtimes.
That's what we're kind ofworking with.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
That's our family dynamic and yeah, obviously you
guys know, um, my day canconsist of um school schedule.
I want to.
I want to throw this out there,since we're talking about time
today and something it's morevaluable to me than money.
(06:02):
Took me a long time to figurethat out, but I take the kids to
school on Tuesdays andThursdays.
We're going to get into alittle bit of how I ensure that
family time is there and it'simportant for me on Tuesdays and
Thursdays to get that littlebit of time with my babies
(06:25):
before I start the day, and it'srejuvenating.
I get to see them, I get totell them to be a leader every
single time they get out of thattruck and I get their hugs and
their kisses.
Mama really likes it.
But five days a week of thesame thing, it's a lot.
Hand throw baby K on top of it.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Yeah, this we do have to say, like our schedule is
going to look much differentthis year.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Because we have a baby.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Yeah.
So that's going to change thingsaround a little bit, but my day
can consist from being on a jobsite at eight o'clock going
through a problem could be asprinkled a little bit of
filming at that job site,whether Will's with me or not.
Maybe working with asuperintendent on an issue,
(07:09):
maybe working with a customer onsome extra work.
There's so many differentthings.
I'm kind of serving that opsmanager role still that ops
manager role still, but, uh, andthat project manager role, as
we are having superintendent ona track.
Um, that's going to alleviate alittle bit of my time.
(07:32):
And actually just reallyquickly here, guys, we're
looking for an ops manager atSyCon.
That would alleviate, um, a lotof the operations off of me and
we're looking for the rightcandidate.
We're not in any rush, but youcan check out the application on
LinkedIn or go to our website,syconexecom, and check out the
(07:57):
job description there.
Mama would really appreciateyou showing up sooner rather
than later Moving past that.
But our typical day, you justnever know, on your side of the
table, from 8 to 5.
On my side it's going to beworking and it's usually 7 to 5.
Tuesdays and Thursdays I reallystrive to be home before 5
(08:22):
o'clock, right at 5 o'clock.
Some days it just doesn't flathappen.
But if I'm going to sacrificethat family time it better be
for something really dire stresssituation either emergency for
tomorrow, you know, have to goget a certain kind of tool that
night.
(08:43):
Mean, it's really gotta besomething.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
So anyhow, I'm just trying to preface that I really
cherish that time and do youever feel like you 100 clock off
of work or do you feel like youmore?
So you know shift change fromwork to home.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Really good question.
The day-to-day stuff leaves mepretty easily, but the vision,
the future, where it's going,where it could go, that never
stops and it's I know, but doyou ever feel like you get to
(09:32):
clock out of cyclone and comehome?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
so you just like shift, change from like the
day-to-day it's a shift it's amindset shift yeah like I still
am.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yeah, and I struggled with this identity crisis for a
very long time.
You know there's people thatstill call me Cyclone, like
that's all they know me for, butI'm Cy Kirby at the end of the
day yeah.
And it's you know for me todifferentiate the two.
Me personally, you've watchedme go through this identity
(10:12):
crisis, especially over the lastyear.
Definitely shift change, toanswer your question, but it's a
shift in my mindset and no oneknows better and has seen me do
it.
There's some days I'm terribleat it and there's other days and
(10:34):
I'm much better at it.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Not that I want to be thinking about work, not that I
want to be thinking about theday-to-day or this bill or that
bill or this invoice or thatestimate.
I want to be thinking aboutwhat baseball team Colts can end
up on in the fall and howSadie's an incredible artist and
(10:58):
won her kindergarten art show.
Baby K is just literallychanging me.
I've said it so many times verypublicly his third baby.
She got me.
He's bad and uh, changing mefor the better though, and
making me see things a lotdifferently.
And uh, it's hard, guys.
(11:23):
You guys know how hard it is.
It's I think we said this inthe first episode as well.
You learn through experienceabout the things that are really
important.
Absolutely Like when I, when Isay that I'm talking about
business stuff, that youth viewin year one and year two are
just going to take you out,they're just go bankrupt right
now.
And in year one and year twoare just going to take you out,
(11:44):
they're just go bankrupt rightnow.
And in year six, you're likethat's a Tuesday, bro, like calm
down.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, I'm not even.
It's not a lie, guys.
I mean it's just experience.
And you figure out that.
What if that your mind is goingto immediately because of this
cause, this in effect, thateffect, you're just thinking, oh
(12:05):
, it's over.
But once you live that effectbecause of that cause, you're
like, well, it really ain't thatbad.
And so I think through thatprocess you really start to
understand that, yeah, it'sreally not a big deal, that'll
be there tomorrow, it'll all bethere tomorrow.
Oh yeah, and it definitely doestake some thought process.
(12:29):
I would say the biggest and Iknow there's a lot of blue
collar guys that would agreewith me it's that five to ten
minutes out in the driveway andI know I can't tell.
There's some times that I spendtime a little bit longer but
that when I rush into the houseand I don't have that five to 10
minutes, say a little quickprayer Good Lord, help me, bury
(12:51):
this, put away on the shelf.
I gotta be there for them,kiddos, tonight.
I gotta be there for mama.
She had a hard day today andshe just heard you know terrible
news all day and every scenarioshe's had.
And I know when I walk throughthis door I've got to be her
(13:12):
pillar of strength and you maybe absolutely crushed beyond
existence but you have to pullyourself together, find strength
within yourself for the goodLord and walk in there and be
that dad and be that husband,even when you can't.
And it's hard, guys, it'sreally, really hard, but that
five to ten minutes in thatdriveway for me helps me.
(13:33):
Quote unquote clock out.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
But as you know, Malin, you would probably agree
that it's really hard to justfully clock in oh yeah, no,
absolutely.
Well, we're moving here.
That's a little appetizers foryou Moving on here.
I got a question for you, mamawhen is a time that the business
completely oh man, y'all readyfor this?
(14:02):
We're going right into thefirst course here.
When is a time that businesscompletely took over our life,
and how did it impact ourmarriage?
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Well, I don't know how much you've talked about
this on the podcast, but when weoriginally started PsyCon, we
had business partners and we endup parting ways with them.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Very non-conducive agreement.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
The thing is is that you, looking back, you have 2020
vision, but in the moment, like, we thought we were doing what
was best and you know, if wecould go back and do it again,
we would do differently, but wecan't.
So we learned.
But when we were exiting thepartnership, um, it was a really
(15:02):
chaotic time.
It just really turned um thebusiness into like our whole
life and, um, when that washappening, we were also building
our house and we were alsorunning the business.
(15:25):
We had two young babies.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Living in 586 square feet, we had two dogs, two kids.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Yeah, yeah, but I mean, I think during that time
it really caused you and I to Ifeel like we grew in our
strength separately but we werenot working together as a team
to get anything accomplished.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Yeah, there was no cohesiveness.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
So it was like I was trying to do what you needed me
to do, and you were trying to dowhat I needed to do.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
We really didn't communicate.
Yeah, this is really what Ineed.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
We were not working together at all exactly at all
yep at all.
It was a trying timeunbelievable yeah thanks for not
giving up on me yeah, thanksfor not giving up on me too.
Didn't make it easy, that's forsure neither one of us did no
and uh.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
It's those experiences, though, that truly
sharpen the sword.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Sharpen the tool.
You know, the next time we'vegot to use the tool.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Yeah, yep.
How do you deal with the mentalload when you're constantly
thinking about the next job, thenext invoice, next customer,
even on date night, or kidsbaseball games?
Speaker 1 (16:54):
I don't even know how to put it into words, because I
still do it and I'm not goingto sit here and lie like I don't
.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
But the wandering mindset I know this sounds crazy
, but it's discipline of if I'mat a baseball game.
Look, I remember being a kid,whew Dadgummit, and my dad not
(17:38):
being there.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
God dang, I didn't know I was going to go through a
process during this deal, butyou know, I swore to you that
when it came to being a dad,that I was going to show them
what it was supposed to be likenot what I experienced and it's
(18:11):
a lot easier for me coming fromthe broken place home.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
And having that experience through life of
looking over at that sidelineand going, eh, back then it was
a hockey rink and I remember alot of times searching for
people you know, and I don'twant my kids to ever do that.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
No.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
And so that makes the games fun and I'm super
competitive, but that one'spretty easy because of trauma
triggers.
Yeah, but day and night, I'msorry, sorry, mama, there's
times you're sitting there andwe'll be talking and we don't
get date night.
I'm telling you guys, it is julyand this is probably we have a
(19:02):
six month old like the firsttime we've sat down with each
other other than business,straight up business talk, where
it had to be a businessconversation, and but I mean
still, I'm telling you guys,we'll go out on town, have a
great night and then I'll justfreeze.
Oh my god, I forgot about this,this and she'll know hey, what
(19:23):
do you think about?
nothing, nothing, okay, andwe'll just move on.
But hey, that's when you good,yeah, good, bury it, move on,
because tomorrow it'll be there.
She's too important, themkiddos are too important for us
to um men, for us to miss it.
(19:45):
They just need you to be there.
You know, it's not even thathard.
You know, you just need to bethere yeah oh, and I've made a
lot of mistakes and I've allain't missed but two ball games
(20:07):
out of the five years he'splayed.
Not missed a whole lot ofpractices and, uh, that's a
little bit easier and I know youneed me to be there yeah now
it's taken me some time.
The first five years I wasterrible at it, even when the
kids were babies like, and alsotoo I was kind of lost though
(20:28):
straight up when them that firstbaby.
I joke about it now every dadshould have to have three kids,
because you finally figure itout by the third one.
You know, with baby Kay, babyCaroline, I have been there day
one.
I know what I'm supposed to bedoing.
You know he poops sleep, butthere's more to it than that.
(20:50):
Yeah, absolutely poop sleep.
But there's more to it thanthat and I'm more involved and,
you know, with Colton, you knowwith our first two, it was well
Sadio's a little bit better,there ain't no doubt.
But Colt, I was not, I didn'teven, I was working out still
really hardcore.
It just I had my priorities allmessed up and you needed me and
(21:11):
I wasn't, especially when Coltwas first born and baby three,
baby two, showed me that andI've, you know, definitely not
tried to do the same thing twice.
But sorry, I've gone a littleoff here, but truly, babe, I'm
(21:31):
sorry for those day nines that Iwander because I try so hard.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I know, I know, but I think it's also like there's
times that I'm like yo stoptalking about PsyCon.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Everything in our life is either the business, or
the business or the kids yeahthat's it, but that is our life
oh yeah we've sacrificed a lotof our happiness and things that
we've necessarily wanted yeahthe boats, the, the fun stuff.
We, we, we had some.
(22:10):
We had a lot of fun in our 20s,but we worked our 20s away.
Yeah, we did.
And here we are sitting here,33, 34 years old.
I'm really excited about thefuture, babe.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Oh, yeah, no, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
But I look forward to always just being there.
I just wanted you to know thatI'm sorry on those days that I'm
not real present.
It's one.
You know that I'm sorry onthose days that I'm not real
present.
It's okay, although I want tobe.
Anyways, let's move on.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Life lessons and you know the moment you got it
perfect, you're done.
So it can take a little whileto figure it out.
You know how do we.
You know what I am, so donewith this.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
I am the host around you.
You keep asking me.
I love it.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Babe, shoot a far away you just don't you, you
just don't like the spotlight onme.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
It's challenging whatever, especially these
questions are challenging.
I'm'm going to say I mean we'retrying to be real with you guys
and literally shine thespotlight on kind of our
failures and our experiences.
Yeah, and trying to be as realand transparent through our
(23:25):
honesty when we didn't have itall put together, we're not Go
ahead Mo.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
How do we handle moments when one of us wants to
rest?
I'm really excited to hear youranswer on this.
How do we handle moments whenone of us wants to rest and the
other one is still in grind mode?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
I don't even know how to answer that.
We both need rest Really badly.
We really need some rest, sometrue rest, especially in this
last year, I know, but when I'mlike Can we not clean the house
today I'm so thinking about thisand you're like I've got to
(24:16):
have an answer tonight, babe.
You're just looking at me likewe're not.
You're not gonna get anything,tomorrow's a new day and we'll
talk about it tomorrow we comesin the morning honey does, and
how do we handle?
it's harder for me because I'malways in grind.
Look, since you met me, I agreewith that.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Yeah, 100%.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
And my mind is always six months, two years, five,
six months, two years, fivemonths.
And I'm just constantly.
Every move I make now, I know,defines six months from now, I
know defines a year from now, Iknow defines a year from now.
And I'm so hyper critical ofmyself so I never have enough
time to overanalyze.
(25:00):
And you're right, I am anoverthinker and I overthink a
lot of things.
But at the same time, when youlook at me and you say, baby
doll, I need some sleep email,hey, I've really had it.
Will you take baby k?
Or?
And you never ask me, I canjust see it though.
(25:21):
I can see and I can feel theaura in the room of oh okay, she
did just lay out an entire planlast night of everything that
we're going to get done, but sheneeds rest and I want to enjoy
that with you.
(25:41):
It's taken me probably until thepast couple of years and still
bad.
Now I got to say I'm not thebest at it, but really working
on it.
I got to say I'm not the bestat it, but really working on it.
And those moments where shekind of opens up to me, because
(26:02):
Sarah is the person that willnever let me see weakness.
She feels like we're incompetition all the time and
like, well, he's not as hard asyou.
You had a hard day.
I didn't do this and you didthat, and I did this and you did
it a hard day.
I didn't do this and you didthat and.
I did this and you did that andI said I didn't raise three kids
all day, you know, andsometimes I just don't
understand why her brain workslike that.
You know we're going at thistogether, but she just wants to
(26:25):
make sure that you know she'sbeing a proper team member and a
team player.
And I have to recognize andapologies for the slower
recognition over the years tofigure out that mom just needs a
nap on the couch and that'sokay at 2 o'clock on a Saturday
(26:50):
and I'm not really wired thatway.
Never have been.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
You wake up, grumpy Gus.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
I am a grumpy Gus every morning.
I've done there about that overthe years now.
But the other thing is I enjoyresting with her.
And the other thing is is Ienjoy resting with her as she
(27:28):
doesn't?
She almost opens the door to gohey, it's okay, you're allowed
to slow down for four hours, siton a couch, scroll TikTok, be,
let me sleep, just sit rightthere.
She don't want me going off anddoing nothing, but she wants me
sitting right there.
It's just she needs it andwe're each other's security
blanket.
She's my best friend, you're mybest friend, and vice versa.
And the security and peace thatshe offers is something to be
(27:50):
desired, and I hope anybodylistening finds that peace, and
you'll find it through the goodLord above.
We said it on the first episodebut all these struggles we faced
up until three or four yearsago and started going to that
church as a family every Sundayand now we serve and we help out
and even though our mouthsaren't the best sometimes, but
we love our Jesus and we try todo what's right and rest after
(28:19):
Sunday on a church.
That's where I was going with.
That is kind of our recoup time.
And I know you guys are like oh, I start thinking about Monday
and I do too.
As soon as church is over, Itry to rest.
But I'm thinking about Monday,I'm thinking about Wednesday,
I'm thinking about Friday, I'mthinking about okay, that's the
move Machines are there, all thethings, all the questions are
(28:39):
going to be coming, but I turnthat off and I have learned 6, 7
o'clock.
You can start that.
But the afternoon rest, letyour mind rest, let your body
rest.
Some days are better thanothers.
Two weekends, three weekendsago, I was stressed out of my
mind.
But I'm just trying to show youguys that it's not like it
(29:03):
doesn't ever go away.
You have to constantly choosethose moments with your family
out of grind mode.
Oh yeah, that's where I wasgoing with that.
Yeah, mama, I got one for you.
Okay, how do you space?
How do you make space forthings outside of work Family
(29:27):
time, personal time, rest whenthere's always something else it
needs doing?
Speaker 2 (29:35):
I mean, I don't not really I don't know, because
there's always something elsethat needs a list of things yes,
always, always.
But it's just you knowprioritizing, and you know um
really really love making a list.
I have them everywhere, allover the house, all the time,
(29:59):
one for every occasion.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Ta-miha to make lists .
Speaker 2 (30:02):
Yeah, they're glorious things, but I don't,
you know, over the years I wouldlet it consume me and not know
how to get everything done andI'd feel like a bad mom because
I'm like focusing on the workand, you know, feeling like a
(30:23):
bad business partner Because I'mnot like dealing with what I
need to be dealing with in theoffice, or feeling like a bad
wife because I'm doing momthings and business partner
things.
But you know, as we've burstthrough this chaotic life, I've
just realized that, you know,there's only a few things that
(30:50):
are going to completely take usout.
And you know, luckily we've gotthe good Lord on our side and
so I'm just going to have faiththat everything is going to be
okay.
No-transcript.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
A hundred percent of the pie.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Honestly, we all do well, yeah, well, yeah, no,
absolutely you can't.
But but to be able to do what Ican in every, in every aspect,
I have to fully commit to thatportion of what I'm doing at
that time, and so it getsoverwhelming and it gets
frustrating, sometimes feelslike I'm constantly just running
(31:55):
in circles.
But you know, I just have toprioritize what is most
important in the moment, youknow literally that's one of our
mottos.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
I don't know it, just I spit.
I can remember the day and Ijust spit it out one day, just
prioritize the moment.
And I was just stressed and Iwas.
It's one of those conversationslike hey, I really need an
answer out of you, like rightnow, so I can make this decision
tomorrow.
And mama bear's over here, I'mnot saying I remember right, but
it was more of a kid pressingmoment rather than it was a work
(32:32):
pressing moment.
I'm like prioritize the momentand my delivery was so bad.
But she did come back and waslike no, I understand the
prioritize the moment thing andheard her start using it, but it
would have been betterdelivered if I would use it in a
in a different way.
And I'm glad it slipped outbecause I've lived by it as well
.
Blue Collar PerformanceMarketing guys, results-driven
(32:52):
marketing agency.
Been working with them aboutnine months now, getting my
results every single 30 days,like you should be too.
They are the real deal and, ifyou're, there's tons of
marketing companies out there,but you need a results-driven
marketing company that's willingto analyze and see what's
(33:14):
working and what's not, sothey're not just sitting there
taking your money and Ike andhis team provide Extreme Value.
That's who we use at PsyConstill to this day.
They offer PPC, which ispay-per-click advertising,
social media management, websitedevelopment, emails, marketing
and content strategy.
That's who helps us.
(33:34):
That's on the YouTube sidepodcastvideoscom.
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We're in the newsroom todayHelp us out on the podcast, but
Ike is behind the scenes helpingme strategize everything in the
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Jump over tobcperformancemarketingcom bcb
(33:54):
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and if it's non-existent, maybeyou need a website.
Give them a ring.
So this, this last little bit ofdessert, as we've been going
through our date night and themain courses have been main
(34:18):
courses.
Yeah, my God, um, a big one forme.
That I was terrible at fromtime scheduling and planning and
list making and all of thosethings.
I was terrible at it and sarahwas much, much, much better at
(34:39):
it.
Now, the rules on the planningand scheduling.
You're still the queen listmaker, there's no doubt, but I
have two different sets of booksthat I run lists on.
We have a a whole year.
It's not fully updated in ourroom but it carries our personal
dates that I need to put intomy calendar, or Sarah puts them
(35:01):
in there, but anything that mamaneeds me to see from the kids,
et cetera, it's on that calendar.
I have another year calendar inmy office to be looking at and
it's more weather related andmore significant events for
business, but then I have anoutlook calendar.
That's the actual dead set.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
And that's the day to day where you need to be.
At what time?
Speaker 1 (35:25):
And if it's on that calendar, I will be there, if
not, I won't be there.
And how I set that calendarthere.
If not, I won't be there.
And how I set that calendar.
Um, where I'm going with thishere, guys just follow me.
But how I set that calendar, hey, mama, what we got going on in
the next three months?
Uh, well, colt's startingfootball again.
Uh, we got flag football.
(35:46):
Oh uh, he, he made the aubaseball team.
Or we're starting up rec leagueagain.
Oh, sadie's got cheer and BabyK's got three appointments this
week and I really would love toget my nails done at some point.
Okay, well, I mean.
And therefore, this spring,seven days a week, we had
(36:10):
baseball, football, baseball,football, football, baseball
every day of the week other thanSundays, but we squeezed a
practice in there.
It was challenging on top ofeverything else, but I made that
prioritization first.
That's what hit my calendarfirst, his entire baseball
schedule, cheerleading football,all of that made it onto my
work calendar first, and then Ischedule around it Okay, go to
(36:35):
the team, what's the next mostimportant things?
Start prioritizing, put them onthe calendar, move on.
But if you guys don't have thatcalendar together, I severely
encourage you to start today,because there's things that are
important to my beautiful wifehere, that are majorly important
(36:55):
to her, that are if you screwthis up, sigh, you ain't coming
home with teeth, or and it maybe on a one rector scale on my
world, but if she doesn't sharewith me how important this is.
And how do they do that,gentlemen?
Well, they tell us three times,right.
Well, if you, literally she'llbe telling me a date and I'll
grab my phone and I'll, if it'ssomething of the you know, of
(37:18):
importance, I'm sitting thereputting into outlook, right then
, so I don't freaking forget, Istill forget things.
Don't get wrong, by god.
But at the same time, we haveset our family's priorities
first and then we start into thework priorities.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
And I think that, especially with school coming up
about to get started again,we've kind of you know, pulled
away from it a little bit whilewe were in summer break.
But Sunday evenings we do acalendar check.
I pull up my calendar, he pullsout his calendar.
We make sure all the importantstuff is on.
Both things, um, and you know,just ensure that I know where
he's going to be at, he knowswhere I'm going to be at, his
important things, my importantthings, and just it really
(38:11):
allows for us to support eachother instead of like work
against each other.
That's right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
And we did that for a lot of years.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Yeah, we did no it's fine.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
And that's because my wife was like you've got to
write this crap down and that'swhat I'm telling you guys on the
show all the time.
Like I struggled with all ofthis stuff starting off, like I
was not a great list maker, Ididn't run a schedule, I didn't
have a company schedule, Ididn't have a personal schedule,
I just willy nilly, did it all.
Well, and then you wonder whyyou can't ever make it to
(38:44):
nothing.
Well, that's because you're notplaying it and you're only as
good as you're playing.
Don't get me wrong.
We're in the undergroundconstruction business.
It changes every three and ahalf seconds.
But we make the plans, godmakes the paths and that's
something that's actually on hermirror here, as of late I read
(39:05):
in a book, but I can't takecredit for that.
But I encourage you guys thisweek, if you haven't, this is
what we're trying to do.
There's a challenge from thefirst episode.
Go check that out guys.
But it's another littlechallenge here for you guys
moving forward and hopefully youguys are getting a little bit
of value out of this and maybeit's just the husband side of
(39:26):
things.
Maybe you share it with yourwife or maybe it's the wife
that's found this episode andshares it with her husband.
But talk about it with eachother and talk about, hopefully,
some points that we've proved,like hey, that right there, they
struggled with it too.
We're struggling with this.
Can we please just sit down andtalk about it?
Yeah, I truly hope, hope andpray that those doors are open
(39:47):
for you guys, especially in youryounger 30s, or if you're in
your 20s and you're trying tofigure this out for the blue
collar skilled trade space andemploy 10, 20, 30 people.
They're depending on you andthey're depending on your
relationship being rock solid soyou can be a leader in your
business.
So here's a little challengefor the week Sit down for 15
(40:10):
minutes and do a marriagecalendar check.
We do it on Sunday nights.
You're right.
In summertime we've definitelyalleviated off.
Summer's been fun this year.
I got to say we haven't doneany vacations.
We've been working away thisyear.
We made that deal together thisyear and we were going to work
through what we had to workthrough this year.
So we didn't have vacations therest of our lives, but this
(40:34):
year was a grind.
Uh, I sorry guys, a little offtrack there.
Sit down, sunday night could beFriday night before you guys
start the weekend, whatever, butusually Sunday, moving in uh to
Monday, ask your husband what'scoming up at work could cause
stress.
Or ask your wife.
You know, hey, what's in yourworld, um, ap, lady, ar lady
(40:58):
who's stressing you out becauseyou can't get them to answer the
phone.
To get jimmy bob pick up thatcheck, bob, jimmy bob give me a
check.
And that's where she just getsto 10, and I got to step in and
go hey man, where the heck isour money?
Or it may be from, hey, baby, Ireally got to pay this bill,
(41:22):
but I really don't think, youknow in the early years, I
really think we owe them thatmuch.
I think we've already paid them.
Thank God for QuickBooks andall the things we've learned.
Paid them, uh, thank god forquickbooks and all the things we
learned over the years say butuh, it may be.
When can you carve out a pocketof time, even just an hour?
Speaker 2 (41:41):
that's not about business or chores, and I'm
gonna be honest please whenyou're raising a young family,
there may not be a time that youcan carve out that's not 9
o'clock when the kids go to bedbut it is important.
You know, and I suggest thatyou ask.
(42:05):
You know touch base.
Is there anything that you'vebeen stressing about, that's
been heavy on your heart, thatyou know, that you've been
avoiding, that you want to touchbase on before it.
You know, builds that seed ofresentment and you know.
(42:25):
So just touch base.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Literally and be honest.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
Hey, no, this is really bugging me.
It's your best friend it's.
And be honest, yeah, hey, no,this is really bugging me.
It's your best friend, it'ssupposed to be yeah.
And if they got to continueguessing every single day?
That's not how we treat ourfriends.
You know, we're supposed to behonest, upfront.
Yes, we love each other sodeeply that we know if we tell
her exactly how we're feeling,it might hurt her feelings or
(42:52):
she might hurt mine, but youknow what that little bit of
hurt right then, and there is somuch better than the continued
daily hurt that I'm going to puther through or she's going to
put me through.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
So, guys, thank you so much for joining episode two
of Date Night.
This has been really fun.
Babe, I can't thank you enoughfor co-hosting in here.
We're almost at episode 50.
And so what episode were you?
(43:25):
Number four or five, I can'tquite remember.
You were in the top ten becauseyou were ten girls.
But just a reminder to you were10 girls, you know.
But just a reminder to you guys, man, you're not alone.
There's.
(43:45):
Couples struggle to stayconnected in major busy seasons,
let alone if you're building abusiness together, building a
family together.
I encourage you guys truly, doa quick calendar check.
Find out what's important toeach other, and next week's
episode is about conflict andcommunication.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
Can we?
Put it in the bar communication, jingle Communication, sure
does help.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
Stay tuned for that.
That's going to be a fun littleepisode.
Small reminder, guys if you'veloved these episodes or any of
the other episodes and it'sbrought you value, if you
wouldn't mind sharing it withsomebody.
Make sure you're subscribed onthe podcast platform that you're
listening to, or jump over tothe bluecollarbusinesspodcastcom
(44:27):
to watch or listen every singleepisode for free.
You don't have to have asubscription.
You can listen to it rightthere from the desktop version.
But if you do have a podcastplatform, give us a rating,
share it with somebody.
And till guys, till next time.
Part three is coming at youwith communication and conflict.
(44:48):
Y'all be safe, be kind, behumble.
If you've enjoyed this episode,be sure to give it a like.
Share it with the fellers.
Check out our website to sendus any questions and comments
about your experience in theblue collar business.
Who do you want to hear from?
Send them our way and we'll doour best to answer any questions
you may have.
Till next time, guys.
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!