Blushing Phoenix
Blushing Phoenix is where vulnerability meets power — and shame becomes your turning point. Hosted by April Poynter, this podcast and YouTube channel exists at the intersection of deep sensitivity and unshakable strength. It was born from April’s own journey with chronic blushing and erythrophobia (the fear of turning red in front of others), a physical response that once felt like a curse, but became the gateway to healing, growth, and radical self-trust. The blush symbolizes the quiet pain of self-betrayal - the years spent hiding, people-pleasing, and shrinking in relationships, work, and identity. The phoenix represents what happens when you stop running from yourself and begin to rise - bolder, freer, louder, and more aligned. Blushing Phoenix is for the woman who feels everything deeply, who has silenced herself to fit in, and who is now ready to live louder without abandoning her softness. Through raw stories, spiritual insights, and real conversations, April guides you to reclaim your voice, reconnect with your body, and rise from the ashes of who you were told to be. Alchemize fear into fire. Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it.
Episodes
Sometimes the resistance we feel isn’t about the circumstances around us – it’s about the version of ourselves we’re still living from.
In this video, I share how I realized that parts of me – 8-year-old April, 35-year-old April – were still trying to protect me. Their intentions were good, but their rules and fears were actually keeping me stuck. By recognizing and lovingly releasing those old versions, I’m ...
Sometimes the dream feels heavy. You’re doing the work, but nobody’s clapping, nobody’s noticing. Or you haven't even started. You're plagued with ideas and vision and you feel the pressure of running out of time.
Other times, the dream is real but the timing isn’t right - and peace comes when you stop forcing it.
This video is about knowing the difference. Do you keep going, even when n...
Are your friendships helping you grow — or holding you back?
In this video, I share what I call a “Friendventory” — an honest look at the people in your circle and whether they truly support the life you’re building. We’ll talk about:
Friends (and even family) who resist your growth because it challenges their role in your life
Energy vampires and the toll they take on your goals
Wh...
We’ve all been taught to shrink in the presence of authority - at the doctor’s office, at work, or around leaders - without even realizing it.
In this video, I explore how conditioning shaped these patterns, why our nervous system defaults to compliance, and how we can rise above it.
This isn’t about shaming the inner child who kept us safe - it’s about honoring that part of us and choosing a new w...
Sometimes it’s not you - it’s the environment you’re in. I just watched my son Ax move from one classroom to another, and instantly his entire attitude about school shifted.
No more fights, no resistance… he actually wanted to go.
This video is for you if you’ve been wondering why you feel stuck, heavy, or unmotivated.
The space you’re in matters. The people, the energy, the setup - it al...
We’re conditioned from childhood to believe our worth is tied to how perfectly we perform - at the doctor, at work, or in life. In this video, I share how a simple blood pressure reading in 2011 sent me spiraling, and what I’ve learned since about separating who we are from what we do. Whether it’s blushing, getting feedback at work, or chasing “perfect,” this is your reminder that your value is not up for debate.
For years, my go-to trauma response wasn’t fight, flight, or freeze - it was fawning. I said yes when I wanted to say no, over-apologized, and put everyone’s comfort before my own. In this video, I share how I recognized my fawning patterns, the physical signs in my body, how I catch it in real time, and how I’ve learned to respond without living on edge.
Red hair is high-maintenance - and honestly, so is trying to be someone you’re not.
In this video, I share a moment of clarity while deciding to let go of my bold hair color and realizing how much energy I’ve been putting into appearances, approval, and survival patterns.
From navigating new friendships to teaching my grown-up nervous system that it’s safe now - this one’s about being real, being e...
You won’t think your way out of fear. You have to move your way through it.
In this episode of Amplify with April, I talk about how your nervous system builds resilience through repetition.
You won’t feel confident at first - you’ll feel shaky, unsure, and exposed.
But every time you do the thing while afraid, you teach your body that you’re safe.
That you can handle it. That fea...
What if the healing season isn’t meant to last forever?
In this episode, I explore the collective shift I’m sensing - where many of us are moving out of deep internal work and into actually living.
We’re landing in our bodies, trusting our growth, and giving ourselves permission to just be.
This is what it looks like to integrate the healing and finally enjoy the life you’ve built.
This is your permission to stop performing, stay present, and trust that your path is unfolding exactly as it should.
It’s been a while since I've talked about blushing or erythrophobia... so here’s an update.
In this video, I share how I overcame erythrophobia (fear of blushing), how I experience blushing today, and what healing has looked like since moving to South Carolina.
Spoiler: the title is a little clickbait-y on purpose. Because the truth is - it’s not really about stopping blushing. It’s about releas...
This is the in-between.
The bridge.
The space where the old life still feels familiar
but the new life - one I’ve dreamed of, plastered on my vision board, journaled about, done the inner work for - isn’t fully integrated yet.
This part?
It’s the shaky wood-and-rope bridge hanging over a canyon.
It creaks. It sways. Some planks are missing.
But I can see the other side.
And I’ve alread...
This isn’t about makeup - it’s about permission.
In this episode of Amplify, I share a simple story about red lipstick and the way we talk ourselves out of bold, beautiful things that light us up.
Whether it's lipstick, launching something new, or finally speaking your mind, this is your reminder to stop waiting for permission.
It might feel weird at first. It might surprise people. Do ...
In this final chapter of her 4-part series, Noelle Dawson brings it all home.
She opens up about her relationship with Chris—her former husband—and the deep shame she carried for all he endured. But now, seeing him find peace, love, and fulfillment has freed something inside her. It’s shown her that even when things fall apart, beauty can still rise from the ashes.
This episode is about redemption.
What happens when you think you’ve finally found yourself—
but it turns out you were still searching?
In Part 3 of her story, Noelle Dawson opens up about the quiet years.
Why she pulled back.
What she chased.
And the unexpected relationship that cracked something open.
She shares the ache of longing, the beauty of being seen, and the moment she realized even love couldn’t fill the vo...
In Part 2, we go deeper. Much deeper.
This episode is raw, honest, and incredibly human. Noelle shares the truth about the affair—what she was chasing, the fantasy it created, and the reality it destroyed. We talk about the guilt, the counseling, and the unraveling of a marriage she desperately tried to save.
But this is also a story of rebuilding.
Noelle opens up about:
Her adoptio...
**Interview starts at 5:41
Everyone saw the before-and-after pictures. What they didn’t see was the mental unraveling behind them.
In this raw and powerful first episode of our multi-part series, Noelle Dawson (@transforming_noelle) opens up about the moments that led her to post her first weight loss photo on Instagram, how she became an influencer (even though she doesn't like this term), and what happe...
Suffering can be a compass to lead you to the next place on your journey. Clearly, we don't want to suffer - I know I don't want to ... but it's part of life. Let's make lemonade out of lemons.
Let's catch up. It's been a while.
Check out my E-Books: Beyond The Blush: A Real-Talk Guide for Eliminating Erythrophobia // Understanding Erythrophobia: Reframing How We Vie...
I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Tara O’Desky (again). She suffered from rosacea for 20 years. After numerous disappointing doctor visits that only addressed the surface issues, she was fed up. She started listening to her body and made it her mission to heal herself.
FOUR MONTHS LATER -SHE HAD CURED HER ROSACEA.
And now she helps people all over the world heal from rosacea and chronic flushing.
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