January 15, 2024 • 41 mins
As we sat down with Reut Ben-Ishai, a school counselor from Petuel, we were struck by the palpable strength in her voice. With her husband and brother serving in the IDF, she embodies the spirit of an entire community living under the shadow of conflict, yet she shines with faith in Hashem and living for a purpose.
In this episode, we explore the struggles of the wives of Israeli soldiers who light Shabbat candles with trembling hands, as they pray for the soldier's safety. As Reut shares, the individual stories of struggle are interwoven with a larger narrative of unity and hope. Join us as we embrace these lessons of unity and Emunah and the strong spirit of the Jewish nation striving toward Moshiach.
To sponsor an episode of Bodies & Souls, email us at
info@bodiessouls.com.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Hi and welcome to our podcast, Bodies and Souls
Conversations for the JewishWoman.
Good morning and welcome toBodies and Souls.
We're continuing to explore thetopics that are on all of our
minds, and I think that I speakfor all of us when we say that
we turn on the phones and rightaway look at what's happening in
Israel, and for those of usliving in Bechutla, it's an
(00:30):
outside of Eritreal.
We sometimes feel disconnected.
So today we are going to try toconnect with our brothers and
sisters out in Eritreal.
Today we have with us RoutesBen-Ishai.
Routes has both a husband and abrother who are serving
currently with the IDF, and sowe're going to explore what life
(00:53):
looks like when you have lovedones in a conflict where you may
not be hearing from them andyou may not know where they are,
and you're hearing horrifying,terrible news coming, wonderful
news and empowering news, butalso news that really pulls at
you on a personal level whenyour loved one is there.
So I'm going to let Routesintroduce herself and tell us a
(01:14):
little bit about herself as westart this.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
My name is Routes Ben-Ishai and I live in Bduelet
in Samaria.
I am married, thank God, and myhusband is right now in the IDF
.
He's also in Samaria but he'snot in Gaza, but it's still.
I don't see him some often andhe has to be guarding this area
because there are every day.
(01:37):
There is some terrorist attacksall over.
You don't hear about them sooften because they are not so
big, but it's like we need tohave the bitachon to be secure.
So IDF has to be all over theplace because we don't want them
.
What happened in Gaza Godforbid Hashem will happen here.
(02:02):
Last night we had even aterrorist attack next to our
house.
I'm also a school counselor,also in a school with a thousand
students.
We have, let's say, like morethan 40% of the fathers are in
(02:24):
the IDF right now and you canfeel also the kids emotional,
like there are some emotionalissues now also with the kids
and with the mothers becausethey don't see the fathers so
often, Even like they don't knowthat there is no connection and
(02:44):
they're like you can feel it'slike it's been.
We have a lot of our platesright now on the plate to do and
to take care of the studentsand also the mothers being in a
position like that that Iactually can do and I can hear
that they're, let's say, we allon the same boat right now and
(03:10):
also we try to be there for eachother, even to listen and to
encourage and even to supportinside school.
This is also what drives me tokeep going and to keep going to
my work and that we need to bethere for each other and to
support.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Can I jump in?
Aside from being a schoolcounselor, I know that you've
also worked as a Shliqa.
You and your husband have goneabroad to work in different
communities and teach.
Do you secretly wish that youwould be abroad right now?
That sounds like living in theTuala is precarious.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
But even though it's my first time being in Israel
during a war actually after wegot married also, there was a
war, a war on the way to Shliqutin the middle of the war.
I remember that.
But being in Israel during thewar actually gives me more power
(04:10):
and I feel more secure and Iknow the Rebbe always says that
Erz Israel is like the bestplace to be there and the
betachon and Shmira is in ErzIsrael and I really feel that I
feel that I'm part of it andbeing away and remote from that,
sometimes you feel that youcannot do so much and you don't
(04:33):
know exactly what's going on andyou're not into it.
But now, when I'm here, I feelthat I'm actually part of it and
I feel this is the world I'mpart of Am Israel and from Erz
Israel and there is protection,that it's something that maybe
(04:54):
it's spiritual and I think it'sspiritual.
I feel more secure and muchbetter than I ever felt before,
even though it's not easy.
I'm like even I drive in ourroads and I don't know exactly
what's going to happen becausethey're throwing rocks and even
fire.
(05:15):
They can with gunfire, guns andstuff, but I know like I have,
like a Shem, protects me everysingle minute and I'm really
happy that I have theopportunity to live here right
now and to raise my family, eventhough I have four boys, and
you don't know what's in thefuture.
(05:37):
It's also you feel that now,even now, like before the
October 7th, there were like thesituation in Israel between Am
Israel, the Khilunim, the Tim,the Suq.
It was not, it was very, verybad.
You felt it everywhere you went.
I felt like Am Israel is notlike so separate from each other
(05:57):
.
You can even not have aconversation with someone that
will not end in an argue or afight.
And like it was reallyunpleasant Even you know it
doesn't matter if you're eventhe tea or you know it was
really, it was so heavyeverywhere you went.
And I think, after whathappened, like we all realize
(06:19):
how much we are one body and weare one soul and one nation.
And even though sometimes youcan hear people, you know people
talk, but it's not in the samelevel and I think this war
actually gave us a mirror for usto understand who we are and
what is your, what is ourconnection and faith, and like
(06:42):
that we have we need to look,you know, forward and to be
together.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
I actually I want to backtrack because I cannot get
past the fact that we just slidby, oh there was a terrorist
attack in my thing, and we werelike let's keep going, so it's
slow down a second.
Like I think that like we getdesensitized oh there are
hostages, bring them home, bringthem home, there are rockets,
okay.
And then, like three monthsdown the road, we're like, oh
(07:09):
okay, we know, like this newshappened, it's terrible, we
cried and we're okay, but we'renot okay.
And I think that for a secondwe need to pause and be like
there are people who are livingwith things that, to our
Brooklyn life and to our LA lifeand to our Toronto life and our
Australia life are unacceptable.
Our neighbors are not.
(07:31):
You know, we're not runningwith a hazard car to a bomb
shelter and our neighbors arenot having a terror attack and
we're not worried about someoneshooting or throwing rocks at
our car, like these are not, andwe can't just slide past that.
Like I think that that's it's aproblem, that we kind of are
like, oh yeah, whatever, this isthe way we live and it's
unacceptable.
So I first want to like hold amoment for how unacceptable it
(07:54):
is, even if we have toldourselves well, unfortunately
this is a situation, we need todo things about it, and this is
just how it is.
It is completely and completelyunacceptable.
And I think that we need to goback into those spaces where we
feel very connected to what'shappening and we take it and we
look at our lives here and wesay, if it happens here, would
(08:17):
it be okay?
No, it wouldn't.
If it happens in Israel, it'salso not okay and we cannot
slide by it just because it hasbecome our norm.
So I just want to hold spacefor that.
Let's talk a little bit aboutyour husband and your brother.
Are they reservists?
Are they active duty?
Were they expecting to becalled up?
Was your brother serving?
(08:37):
You mentioned that your husbandis not in Gaza, but is your
brother?
Tell us a little bit about whatthey're going through, and then
we're going to come back andtalk about you and the community
who are back home.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Okay, I think this week my brother just released
from Gaza for the first time allhis unit, but it's been, let's
say, for two months, no, evenmore, three months it was.
I had some very hard nights andI couldn't sleep thinking about
what's going on.
Sometimes I had a feeling, forexample, one Shabbat, before I
(09:13):
lit the candles the Shabboscandles I had a feeling that
something is wrong and wecouldn't reach my brother, and
all because he's not allowed toget cell phones inside Gaza.
So, let's say there are beingslike maybe like three weeks we
couldn't hear from him.
We knew that he's going insideGaza, we didn't know exactly
(09:36):
where and what.
But when I lit the Shabboscandle, I actually felt I had a
very, very, very heavy feeling.
I was crying and I dove into asham that really protects my
brother and I really tried toeven to vision him and like that
he is surrounded by angels andlike by a sham protections.
(09:59):
After Shabbos we found outthere were like three soldiers
from his unit actually waskilled.
We couldn't stop crying.
We didn't tell my mom becausewe didn't want her to worry.
So it was not like an easyperiod for us, but always like
for me, I felt that I'm like Ihave like a conversation with
(10:22):
the sham.
Always it's been like I wasworking about my bitachon and
emunayen Hashem, that I need toknow that Hashem knows exactly
what is good for us and, like,my brother will be fine and,
like I, always vision is likewhen he's coming back, we will
have his.
So that I think you know sayingthank you for Hashem, and I
(10:47):
remember once even I had, likemy brother went for a few hours
outside.
I remember he sent me like amessage I'm out of, I'm out, I'm
back in Israel.
It's meaning that he means thathe left Gaza and he said we are
so.
You know, we're so happy, we,we, we don't hear even any news,
(11:08):
like, we don't want to hear anynews because we have to be
strong and we have like everyoneis here, we have a, we have a
great spirit and we are so, weare so happy that we have the
opportunity to, to do and tofight for Amir Sayyed.
And it was so like I felt aftertalking to him.
I get you know, he gave mestrength and like, and I knew
(11:30):
that this is how the spirit weshould all have, very strong and
with a lot of bitachon andemuna, and to know that what we
are doing it's actually fightingthe evil, because what he's
doing right now it's likefighting for our future and like
Amis Le'el you know for, butthe end of the day it's like
(11:51):
fighting against Hamas, fightingfor all Amis Le'el, whatever we
are, and we have to be strongand brave.
I remember, after this Shabbat,like I don't know how, but I
had, like I said, okay, hashem,I trust you.
And like we, every day wefinish a Sefer Te'ilim in our
family, for all the soldiers inour family we have like maybe 20
(12:13):
, I have also cousins and likethey're actually inside together
.
They're very, very like they'refighting very, very close, like
even they're not you know, likethey're inside Gaza, like
they're being in all the hardbattles.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Is your brother is what is your brother doing
inside Gaza?
Do you know?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
So my brother is in Milwim he's not in Sadiq, but my
I have twin cousins.
They're in Sadiq and they'regetting in and out all the time,
and I know that my uncle is.
It's very, very hard for him to, you know, to sleep at night
and even you know, every timethere is a knock on the door
they're all freezing.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Wait a second, so you're.
They're putting Milwim insideof Gaza, but they're not doing
the heavy combat fighting.
It depends.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
It depends my brother actually he has to.
He has to clean, like to go toone house to another to check if
there is no like bombs and likesometimes they also.
They put bombs and they runaway and if you, you can step on
it and you know you can beexplode, like it's always, but
it's not like it's it was.
(13:23):
It was not easy, but it stillwas not like the worst.
There is like more dangerousplaces to be, so, but it's also
very important because they needlike to remain the you know the
place safe and clean.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Wow, Totally not a scary job at all.
Right, Like that's not thescary job.
Like they're just going tocheck for weapons, Like that's
not even the bad one.
Okay, I just like.
I just keep thinking aboutthese conversations in the
context of like, or worriedabout like little things that
you're like, why is that?
That's not even the scary job?
Okay, Terrible, horrifying.
(14:01):
War is terrible.
And I keep like telling myselflike war is horrible.
The fact that we're, you know,in 2024, in in advanced society,
and war is the answer to how weachieve anything and how we,
you know, advocate for peace, isjust absolutely mind boggling.
And the fact that you knowfathers and brothers and
(14:23):
husbands need to go out thereand put themselves at risk for
something that is not necessary.
It would be much easier ifeveryone just came to the table
and spoke and figured this outand you know, in a way, that
people's lives are not in danger, and and and at this point,
really there is no option, andso maybe it's a pointless
comment on my part, but it's notokay.
(14:46):
So your husband is away, yourneighbor's husbands are away,
Both fathers are away, People'sbrothers are away.
What does that look like for amother with children and I know
I hope it's okay if I share thisbefore we started, where U
(15:07):
turned the camera around and sheshowed us her bed and her kids
are sleeping right next to her,cuddled up, and I'm sure that
there's a lot of emotional stuffthat are on the children and a
lot of emotional baggage thatare on the wives wives who don't
hear from their husbands forthree weeks.
Meanwhile they're going tomikva and they're, you know,
(15:27):
dealing with an angsty teenagerand a teething toddler and all
the ups and downs that we dealwith, but without a partner and
without knowing how that partneris doing.
So I want, if you can, can youtalk to us both about being a
wife?
But also, what does that looklike being a mother with the
(15:49):
added baggage that your childrenare carrying?
And I would venture to say thatprobably your children were not
always in your bed, but maybenow, with the situation that's
happening, you know they needmore closeness and they need
more mommy time.
Yeah for sure.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
I feel overwhelmed, usually in the mornings, that I
really I sometimes I know I takea deep breath before I wake up
and tell myself, okay, I'm goingto make that through because
also I need to get to work aswell.
Yeah, it's not easy.
For sure for us and for thefuture, for the kids, the best
(16:29):
thing that can be, now that youknow my husband can fight and be
there for us in Israel, and ofcourse, I have some like
sometimes that I feel like I'mlike I'm done, like it's too
much for me and it's too much,but with like we have like
really support.
There is like some organizationthat sometimes they send like
(16:53):
Shabbat Shabbos meal for us Oncein a while.
I also take that and of course,like in the mornings, I just I
know that it's going to be noteasy because I need to be there
for all of them and also I havea teenager that is coming once a
week from the Yeshiva and Iknow that I have to be there for
him as well.
First of all, bezlat Hashem, Iknow my husband will be here
(17:15):
back and it's only temporary and, bezlat Hashem, it will be over
soon.
So, first of all, it's notforever, you know I need to
think about it.
I have to find, like, thepositive things, like what I
have, like Bezlat Hashem,they're healthy and I'm doing it
with my like.
I actually do it sometimes whenI feel like I really over long,
I try to say thank you for whatI do have, because I need, I
(17:39):
have to be strong for them and,and you know, my first one is
like, one of them is in thefirst grade now, so he needs a
lot of support and I need tohelp him with homework and stuff
and I know the morningsometimes can be very tough.
This, like this week, I said tomyself, how about?
Like?
I saw that he's like really is,he's all over the place and he
(18:03):
was like, and I didn't know howhe's going Like, if he's going
to go to school or not, and Isaid, please, hashem, I need
your help.
And in after two minutes, hisfriend knock on the door and ask
him to join him to school and Isaid, wow, this is what's for
me.
I felt that Hashem actuallyheard my like, my Tfilah, and it
(18:24):
was, like you know, a shaliachand angel from Hashem that took
him for school.
For sure, it's not easy and it'sa, but I'm not only the only
one.
There are so many around me forus and like it's a good cause
and it's the whatever it'ssupposed to be right now and
it's our future, it's our kidsfuture, our future around Israel
(18:46):
.
I actually heard someone will.
She lost her husband and shesaid that I have dogma and her
rabbi is also.
It was my, my, my father's rabbithat he said that we, we are in
a much better situation than wewere in the Holocaust and now
(19:08):
we have a state and we have tolift our la rime et ta roche and
to be proud, to be proud and tosay we are fighting now and we
are strong.
And also she said my husband, heleft me six children and I was
(19:29):
amazed how many strength thatshe had and she can speak like
that.
And she said he left so muchfor me in this world, for me and
for this world, and he foughtfor he's a brave person and he
also fought for Amis-A'el.
And I think we just, you know,to get through this, you know,
(19:54):
this time we have to stick toour goal and to our belief and
to know that we are doing thebest, that like the right thing
that we should do and also it'sgood that sometimes it's okay.
It's okay to be brokensometimes and to cry, and it's
like it's part of this you knowfrom life right now to be sad
(20:17):
and like sometimes to cry and toask for help, and it's okay,
it's normal.
The next day, bezat Hashem,will be better.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
This is so inspiring to hear you speak.
I think likely some of thestrongest women in the world are
probably you and yourcontemporaries in Israel, who
are holding down the fort andtrying to maintain a daily life.
Just, I think it was two weeksago.
My family and I we it waswinter break here in Canada, so
typically people travel so werented a cottage up north, but
(20:48):
it wasn't like a real vacation.
My husband was working, so Iwas alone with the kids and it
was hard.
It was so hard.
I was so excited to get back toroutine.
Like I wasn't sad that the weekwas over.
I did it for the kids and thekids enjoyed it, but it was
really on me and my shouldersand that getting up in the
morning and figuring out what todo every day and just getting
through the day Was a challenge.
(21:09):
And yet it wasn't for a week.
What you guys are doing is is Iknow you say it's temporary,
but it's been three months andwe don't know how much longer
it's going to be, so it's reallyimpressive.
I'm just wondering maybe youcould share specific examples of
ways that the women aresupporting each other.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Okay, so also there are some barbecue events for
kids and also for women that youcan like for the mothers.
You know, the kids, my kids,really they love going there
because, you know, first of all,they seem more, you know, kids
are in the same situation andthere are also there there is
(21:55):
music and like sometimes, likeyou know, craft and like they
can play and and and eat, andalso I don't need to wash the
dishes this night, you know,don't think about dinner, and so
it doesn't happen like it like,let's say, three times, like
maybe four times a week, a month, but you know, my kids actually
(22:17):
really looking forward.
And also there are someevenings only for the, for the,
for the women, for the wivesthat are, you know, and we are
we having, like you know, like abuffet and like they're they,
we have maybe a concert orsomething, so they really try to
(22:37):
do something, you know, specialfor us, for the women.
And also we have like aWhatsApp group that we can talk
and like we can share.
And also for me, I rememberwhen I, when we spoke about what
give you the strength and theresilience was like for me it's
also what was that?
(22:58):
My friends outside of Israelabroad, actually called me and
what's up me and like text meand I really felt like I'm not
alone and I'm like I'm part of acommunity.
I felt that it's, you know, eventhough we are far away, we, we
are one soul, we all one souland we, we care for each other
(23:20):
and gives me, you know, thestrength and the to keep going
and and to know that, to beproud of army sale.
And even though, you know,sometimes I ask, you know, I'm
telling myself, wow, I'm Israel.
Like you know, it's such a,it's a heavy duty to be part of
army sale because you know, wealways, you know it's, I don't
(23:44):
know, like there's not a sharemachine will come and we all be
in the best place ever.
And but now the time is, likeyou know, we all always have
reminders, reminders that youknow you are, miss, you need to
behave and, like you know, if we, if we forget that you know the
other nation, remind us.
You know what we are and all theantisemic also outside of
(24:07):
Israel and in Israel now.
But, but the end of the day,being part of army sale, and
especially now, when you felt it, like you know, you felt all
the warmth from all, from allyou know, from all kind you know
I also, from even one secularor like, don't, don't even think
about, like me, like you, notright handed, like, let's say,
(24:30):
more left.
I got so many message from them, so by the end we are all
brother and sisters.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Right, because we we, we sometimes get a reminder
that we're all exactly the same,doesn't make a difference who
we are or what we are A Jew is aJew is a Jew is a Jew, and
sometimes the people next toJews are also considered Jews,
and it's just the reality of ourlived history and the history
(25:01):
of the generations that camebefore us.
And so it's our turn to standup tall, unapologetically, and
stand up for Tyra and Yiddishkite and etc.
But we spoke a little bit aboutwhat happens to the children
and the support that thecommunity has rallied around you
.
So my question now is obviously, the children are carrying a
(25:27):
heavy burden and you know youshared a little bit about the
support that the community hascreated for the children and how
your children love to go tothose events.
What about wives, pregnant wives, wives who are due, wives, who
are going through a hardpregnancy and their husbands are
in middle way?
What about wives who go toMcFindles, don't know where
(25:47):
their husbands are coming home?
What about wives who had oneday with their husbands and
their husbands are like what isthe toll that it's taking on
marriages and women?
So and I just want to act tothat I think that it's a very
public.
It's, it's a lot more public.
(26:09):
So things like our soldiersneed barbecues, they need warm
food and our children needsupport because they're going
through a hard time.
So those public struggles wecan, we can address a little bit
more heads on.
But the private struggles, thestruggles that we, you know, are
quietly in our bedroom at night, where's the support for that
and how are, how are womendealing with it on this deeply
(26:30):
personal level?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
I know like you can tell when, when a wife, like
she's going through some like a,let's say, a crisis, when she's
supposed to go to the Miqveh,and you know she, she's going to
the Miqveh, actually, you knowwe they go, but you know you
don't know, maybe it's going tosurprise.
You know the husband and wedon't know if he can come
(26:53):
tomorrow or today.
You never know.
You know the schedule.
You know everything is like,very, very like.
It's not a, I think, and Iremember even one wife said just
, you know, can you hug me, oneof my friends?
You know I just need a hug.
You know someone to hug me.
And and I think we need to belike around us more, let's say
(27:16):
more sensitive, and to try to beeven less just, judgmental for
them.
For example, I have lots ofmothers who are coming to me and
like there are, let's say they,they don't stop crying in my
room and they say it's too muchfor me and like they, they, they
, I see they're all the long.
(27:38):
Like you know, even with thesmall stuff, you know it can be
very small, but for them it'slike it's, it's so big and you
know, be to listen and really totry to, even to offer like a, a
small thing that you can do,even at school, that you know
just that they will feel thatsomeone actually sees them and
(28:00):
understand what they're goingthrough.
Also, there are many like Iknow, a lot of them are going
also to like to a therapy, likethey get, like a, they get get
paid by the, by the army,because they know exactly how
much it's hard.
I know, sometimes during labor,usually when, when it happens,
(28:21):
I know that the husband iscoming to the hospital to be
with the wife, for few he gets,he gets some days off.
I know my brother, he gave up,is his turn to get to, to go
home, because one of his friendswas she was like pregnant in
the ninth month, and so he issaid to him go go be with your
(28:42):
wife.
You know, and and for sure forus it was not easy because it
was like he's trying to go backhome but he didn't.
But you know, even on this, youknow hard time.
Everyone and everyone is havinga hard time.
I think we still try to besensitive and like to, to hear
and and to to be there for theother one, I think by the end of
(29:06):
the day also, every woman orevery wife, yeah, she, actually
she.
She sees how much she is likeso great and like amazing, how
much Strength does she have?
I didn't know, I also didn'tknow it about myself, but
sometimes you find you find theco-op, you find the strength
(29:28):
that you didn't think it'sactually in you, actually, that
you know they're, they'refighting outside, you know
inside Gaza, but you know thewife is actually she, she
supports everything.
You know everything is on hershoulder.
So I'm it.
Can you get to that israel?
He will kill with the same time.
(29:48):
Can you?
I think I will.
This is why you like we, we, Ithink we hold we, we hold that.
You know the wall in the, inthe house.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
Beautiful.
Your words are actuallybeautiful, thank you you.
I just want to translate forour listeners.
You spoke about how it was inthe merit of the woman that the
Jews were were redeemed fromEgypt, and it's in our merit
that we're going to Merit theultimate redemption, the sheaq.
I'm men, I'm men, I'm men.
You spoke about how Women youand the other woman in Israel
(30:23):
are accessing strengths thatthey've never accessed before to
be able to keep themselves andtheir house together, and
throughout this podcast, you'vebeen talking about the belief
that what you're doing is forthe future and how you're have a
moon and be to a home.
I'm wondering if you can giveour listeners a very practical
(30:44):
tool that you employ during theday that helps you get through
the day.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
Okay, wow, I think for me.
You know I talk to Hashem everytime I feel like, let's say, I
(31:12):
feel alone and I said to Hashemyou please be here for me.
I want to feel you, I want toknow that what I'm doing is
right.
We have the bitachon in humanssometimes.
Always, we think the solutionis in the humanity and actually
(31:37):
what we saw, I think, duringthis, we thought even America
people are not in our side.
By the end of the day, we needHashem, we need Hashem to be
there for us and I think also weneed to give him the room and
(32:01):
the place in our life.
And I think every time I feelit's like too much and I feel
overwhelmed and I say it's likeI will not get through, that I
said, hashem, I need you herewith me now and I give you the
place.
Please come and support me.
(32:22):
And when we lost our neighbor hewas killed in Gaza and he has
the same name as my child and Iknow the family well.
One of the sisters, she is mystudent and also we spoke at the
beginning of the war and wemade something to healing for
(32:44):
all the soldiers and also Ithink she made one of them, for
him, for his brother, and reallyI was broken.
I was broken, but after I heardthe father when he said that he
knows that his son, eitan Eitanfish, he was so happy and so
(33:06):
proud to do his mission and heknew this is what he should do
and I know.
For me it was also a reminderthat by the end of the day, we
need you know what is going on,this is what we need to do, this
is what it's supposed to be,and it will lead us to a better
(33:29):
place.
Mashiach will come and we willbe part of it.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
I'm so happy you circle to this place because I'm
listening to you and themidwife in me is listening to a
story of birth of people whoreach the end.
You know, when you're in labor,you reach a certain point where
you're like I can't do thisanymore, I'm done, I'm out of
strength.
And then you dig deep into thisreally deep place and you find
(34:02):
strength and then you reach theend of that strength and then
you reach to a higher power andyou're like, well, I don't have
anything else.
But there's something that hasit.
Sometimes it's a person in theroom, sometimes you know it's a
deeper source of connection andyou feel the pain and you feel
the hardship, and but you knowyou're getting somewhere and
you're talking about thisprocess as a process of birth,
(34:23):
as a process of gettingsomewhere.
And I know sometimes, when we'retalking about this conversation
in Eritreal, we're talkingabout oh, medina, it's going to
be safe.
But I think that we're talkingabout a larger discussion of
this has to be part of somethingbigger, that we are going to a
place of Gula, a place ofeternal strength and eternal
(34:45):
peace.
And we're circling closer tothis where, as a nation, we need
to get into this really deepsense of we're all one and we're
all together and we're allconnected to this really, really
high place.
Is there something that you'velearned, or something like a
(35:06):
Torah or something that you'veconnected to that has brought
you strength in this time?
Speaker 2 (35:11):
period.
I try, I have my weekly share,that I listen to him.
I really try Also this throughthis time I had some, I need to
take some decisions and also Iwrote to the Rebbe in Igorod
Kodesh and it always brings meback to the shlichot and also to
(35:36):
be an educator and how much isimportant, because right now I
need to be in two jobs and it'sreally overwhelmed because I'm
working and also I need to be amom for five kids and my husband
is not here and during thistime that I needed to know I
need to keep these two jobs andI know that everything has a
reason.
Like your self's brothers andlike there were, you know it's
(36:00):
the same thing.
It's been such.
It's a brutal act to put yourbrother in a pit and then to
sell him and then by the endhe's like getting into Egypt and
from Egypt he becomes, like youknow, like the second for paro
and everything, and by the endhe said this is what Hashem
(36:20):
wanted to be.
You know this is everything,all the bad and all the.
You know everything that was so, so horrible, you know meant to
be.
That I will be here and I canhelp you and I have the strength
to understand that I'm part ofa bigger, a bigger thing, and we
(36:41):
are.
You know the history of AmIsrael, but Hashem will be with
us anytime and we will not leave.
Like you know, we're not goingto be abandoned, hashem Amen.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Amen, I mean we have a couple more minutes.
I want to finish off with onelast question, and that question
is your challenge seemsenormous, like I don't think
anyone can compare what they'regoing through with what you're
going through.
It's just something that defiesreally the ability to think
(37:15):
through it.
But for all of us women who areliving abroad, who don't
necessarily have husbands orsiblings in grave danger, can
you give a piece of advice orsomething that we can hold on to
that can help us get throughwhatever Nisaion that we are
(37:37):
currently going through?
Speaker 2 (37:38):
I think every time we have a Nisaion and we can feel
that we actually are going down.
So we need to know this isactually the beginning of that.
We're going to be lifted up bythe end Every Kolaridad y Alia
and we are going to be in ahigher place emotionally or
(38:03):
spiritually and even like,sometimes, physically.
You know from that because andI know, sometimes when we feel
that we miss something, likesomething is missing or
something is hard, it's actuallywe need to work hard to get it.
And I know if we had theNisaion, hashem knows exactly
(38:23):
that we can get this Nisaion andwe can handle it and we can
manage.
Maybe we need to work a bitharder and then we will achieve
that.
We will achieve whatever itlike, for example, sometime with
the Shalom Bait or with ourChinuch Yaladiim.
Nothing is not complete.
You know, this is our life now,without you know, bezrat Hashem
(38:46):
, beth Mighdash will, you know,will build Mezziyut y Eshlema,
but now Mezziyut is not Shlema,but it's actually for us, you
know, to keep willing and tolekavot, and lekavot is like
lekavot is from its line.
You know, it's our line forHashem and to look, looking
forward and and to be by the endof the Nisaion we have to be,
(39:11):
to have the belief that we willbe in a better place, and this
is like, maybe, the Nisaion it'sfor us to appreciate what we
have or to work harder and tofind our strength in ourself.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
Thank you so much for Oud, for joining with, joining
us today and sharing with us.
Let's try that again.
You need to be quiet.
Thank you, oud, for joining ustoday and sharing a glimpse into
life for the women and thechildren in Aratisral, as the
(39:46):
husbands, fathers and sons andwomen, by the way are out there
fighting and protectingAmnestyral during this very,
very important time.
So thank you so much, and Iwant to finish off and hold a
moment for our brothers andsisters in Aratisral.
We are dovening for you, we areincreasing in our learning and
(40:12):
in our mitzvahs for you, and wehope that by the time this
podcast episode comes out, weare ready, all in Yerushalayim,
with the coming of Mashiach, andwe hear good news in an
overabundant way.
So thank you, oud, thank you toall the women in Aratisral,
thank you to the children, thehusbands, the fathers.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
Amen, amen and thank you Oud.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
Thank you for listening.
We hope you enjoyed and grew.
Original music of Shamil'sNigan provided by Hazan David
Ketak.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
We look forward to your input, feedback and
suggestions.
We also have partnershipopportunities available.
Please email info atbodiessoulscom.
Again, info at bodiessoulscomwith two S's.
Thank you.
Hi and welcome to our podcast, Bodies and Souls
Conversations for the JewishWoman.
Good morning and welcome toBodies and Souls.
We're continuing to explore thetopics that are on all of our
minds, and I think that I speakfor all of us when we say that
we turn on the phones and rightaway look at what's happening in
Israel, and for those of usliving in Bechutla, it's an
(00:30):
outside of Eritreal.
We sometimes feel disconnected.
So today we are going to try toconnect with our brothers and
sisters out in Eritreal.
Today we have with us RoutesBen-Ishai.
Routes has both a husband and abrother who are serving
currently with the IDF, and sowe're going to explore what life
(00:53):
looks like when you have lovedones in a conflict where you may
not be hearing from them andyou may not know where they are,
and you're hearing horrifying,terrible news coming, wonderful
news and empowering news, butalso news that really pulls at
you on a personal level whenyour loved one is there.
So I'm going to let Routesintroduce herself and tell us a
(01:14):
little bit about herself as westart this.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
My name is Routes Ben-Ishai and I live in Bduelet
in Samaria.
I am married, thank God, and myhusband is right now in the IDF
.
He's also in Samaria but he'snot in Gaza, but it's still.
I don't see him some often andhe has to be guarding this area
because there are every day.
(01:37):
There is some terrorist attacksall over.
You don't hear about them sooften because they are not so
big, but it's like we need tohave the bitachon to be secure.
So IDF has to be all over theplace because we don't want them
.
What happened in Gaza Godforbid Hashem will happen here.
(02:02):
Last night we had even aterrorist attack next to our
house.
I'm also a school counselor,also in a school with a thousand
students.
We have, let's say, like morethan 40% of the fathers are in
(02:24):
the IDF right now and you canfeel also the kids emotional,
like there are some emotionalissues now also with the kids
and with the mothers becausethey don't see the fathers so
often, Even like they don't knowthat there is no connection and
(02:44):
they're like you can feel it'slike it's been.
We have a lot of our platesright now on the plate to do and
to take care of the studentsand also the mothers being in a
position like that that Iactually can do and I can hear
that they're, let's say, we allon the same boat right now and
(03:10):
also we try to be there for eachother, even to listen and to
encourage and even to supportinside school.
This is also what drives me tokeep going and to keep going to
my work and that we need to bethere for each other and to
support.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Can I jump in?
Aside from being a schoolcounselor, I know that you've
also worked as a Shliqa.
You and your husband have goneabroad to work in different
communities and teach.
Do you secretly wish that youwould be abroad right now?
That sounds like living in theTuala is precarious.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
But even though it's my first time being in Israel
during a war actually after wegot married also, there was a
war, a war on the way to Shliqutin the middle of the war.
I remember that.
But being in Israel during thewar actually gives me more power
(04:10):
and I feel more secure and Iknow the Rebbe always says that
Erz Israel is like the bestplace to be there and the
betachon and Shmira is in ErzIsrael and I really feel that I
feel that I'm part of it andbeing away and remote from that,
sometimes you feel that youcannot do so much and you don't
(04:33):
know exactly what's going on andyou're not into it.
But now, when I'm here, I feelthat I'm actually part of it and
I feel this is the world I'mpart of Am Israel and from Erz
Israel and there is protection,that it's something that maybe
(04:54):
it's spiritual and I think it'sspiritual.
I feel more secure and muchbetter than I ever felt before,
even though it's not easy.
I'm like even I drive in ourroads and I don't know exactly
what's going to happen becausethey're throwing rocks and even
fire.
(05:15):
They can with gunfire, guns andstuff, but I know like I have,
like a Shem, protects me everysingle minute and I'm really
happy that I have theopportunity to live here right
now and to raise my family, eventhough I have four boys, and
you don't know what's in thefuture.
(05:37):
It's also you feel that now,even now, like before the
October 7th, there were like thesituation in Israel between Am
Israel, the Khilunim, the Tim,the Suq.
It was not, it was very, verybad.
You felt it everywhere you went.
I felt like Am Israel is notlike so separate from each other
(05:57):
.
You can even not have aconversation with someone that
will not end in an argue or afight.
And like it was reallyunpleasant Even you know it
doesn't matter if you're eventhe tea or you know it was
really, it was so heavyeverywhere you went.
And I think, after whathappened, like we all realize
(06:19):
how much we are one body and weare one soul and one nation.
And even though sometimes youcan hear people, you know people
talk, but it's not in the samelevel and I think this war
actually gave us a mirror for usto understand who we are and
what is your, what is ourconnection and faith, and like
(06:42):
that we have we need to look,you know, forward and to be
together.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
I actually I want to backtrack because I cannot get
past the fact that we just slidby, oh there was a terrorist
attack in my thing, and we werelike let's keep going, so it's
slow down a second.
Like I think that like we getdesensitized oh there are
hostages, bring them home, bringthem home, there are rockets,
okay.
And then, like three monthsdown the road, we're like, oh
(07:09):
okay, we know, like this newshappened, it's terrible, we
cried and we're okay, but we'renot okay.
And I think that for a secondwe need to pause and be like
there are people who are livingwith things that, to our
Brooklyn life and to our LA lifeand to our Toronto life and our
Australia life are unacceptable.
Our neighbors are not.
(07:31):
You know, we're not runningwith a hazard car to a bomb
shelter and our neighbors arenot having a terror attack and
we're not worried about someoneshooting or throwing rocks at
our car, like these are not, andwe can't just slide past that.
Like I think that that's it's aproblem, that we kind of are
like, oh yeah, whatever, this isthe way we live and it's
unacceptable.
So I first want to like hold amoment for how unacceptable it
(07:54):
is, even if we have toldourselves well, unfortunately
this is a situation, we need todo things about it, and this is
just how it is.
It is completely and completelyunacceptable.
And I think that we need to goback into those spaces where we
feel very connected to what'shappening and we take it and we
look at our lives here and wesay, if it happens here, would
(08:17):
it be okay?
No, it wouldn't.
If it happens in Israel, it'salso not okay and we cannot
slide by it just because it hasbecome our norm.
So I just want to hold spacefor that.
Let's talk a little bit aboutyour husband and your brother.
Are they reservists?
Are they active duty?
Were they expecting to becalled up?
Was your brother serving?
(08:37):
You mentioned that your husbandis not in Gaza, but is your
brother?
Tell us a little bit about whatthey're going through, and then
we're going to come back andtalk about you and the community
who are back home.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Okay, I think this week my brother just released
from Gaza for the first time allhis unit, but it's been, let's
say, for two months, no, evenmore, three months it was.
I had some very hard nights andI couldn't sleep thinking about
what's going on.
Sometimes I had a feeling, forexample, one Shabbat, before I
(09:13):
lit the candles the Shabboscandles I had a feeling that
something is wrong and wecouldn't reach my brother, and
all because he's not allowed toget cell phones inside Gaza.
So, let's say there are beingslike maybe like three weeks we
couldn't hear from him.
We knew that he's going insideGaza, we didn't know exactly
(09:36):
where and what.
But when I lit the Shabboscandle, I actually felt I had a
very, very, very heavy feeling.
I was crying and I dove into asham that really protects my
brother and I really tried toeven to vision him and like that
he is surrounded by angels andlike by a sham protections.
(09:59):
After Shabbos we found outthere were like three soldiers
from his unit actually waskilled.
We couldn't stop crying.
We didn't tell my mom becausewe didn't want her to worry.
So it was not like an easyperiod for us, but always like
for me, I felt that I'm like Ihave like a conversation with
(10:22):
the sham.
Always it's been like I wasworking about my bitachon and
emunayen Hashem, that I need toknow that Hashem knows exactly
what is good for us and, like,my brother will be fine and,
like I, always vision is likewhen he's coming back, we will
have his.
So that I think you know sayingthank you for Hashem, and I
(10:47):
remember once even I had, likemy brother went for a few hours
outside.
I remember he sent me like amessage I'm out of, I'm out, I'm
back in Israel.
It's meaning that he means thathe left Gaza and he said we are
so.
You know, we're so happy, we,we, we don't hear even any news,
(11:08):
like, we don't want to hear anynews because we have to be
strong and we have like everyoneis here, we have a, we have a
great spirit and we are so, weare so happy that we have the
opportunity to, to do and tofight for Amir Sayyed.
And it was so like I felt aftertalking to him.
I get you know, he gave mestrength and like, and I knew
(11:30):
that this is how the spirit weshould all have, very strong and
with a lot of bitachon andemuna, and to know that what we
are doing it's actually fightingthe evil, because what he's
doing right now it's likefighting for our future and like
Amis Le'el you know for, butthe end of the day it's like
(11:51):
fighting against Hamas, fightingfor all Amis Le'el, whatever we
are, and we have to be strongand brave.
I remember, after this Shabbat,like I don't know how, but I
had, like I said, okay, hashem,I trust you.
And like we, every day wefinish a Sefer Te'ilim in our
family, for all the soldiers inour family we have like maybe 20
(12:13):
, I have also cousins and likethey're actually inside together
.
They're very, very like they'refighting very, very close, like
even they're not you know, likethey're inside Gaza, like
they're being in all the hardbattles.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Is your brother is what is your brother doing
inside Gaza?
Do you know?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
So my brother is in Milwim he's not in Sadiq, but my
I have twin cousins.
They're in Sadiq and they'regetting in and out all the time,
and I know that my uncle is.
It's very, very hard for him to, you know, to sleep at night
and even you know, every timethere is a knock on the door
they're all freezing.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Wait a second, so you're.
They're putting Milwim insideof Gaza, but they're not doing
the heavy combat fighting.
It depends.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
It depends my brother actually he has to.
He has to clean, like to go toone house to another to check if
there is no like bombs and likesometimes they also.
They put bombs and they runaway and if you, you can step on
it and you know you can beexplode, like it's always, but
it's not like it's it was.
(13:23):
It was not easy, but it stillwas not like the worst.
There is like more dangerousplaces to be, so, but it's also
very important because they needlike to remain the you know the
place safe and clean.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Wow, Totally not a scary job at all.
Right, Like that's not thescary job.
Like they're just going tocheck for weapons, Like that's
not even the bad one.
Okay, I just like.
I just keep thinking aboutthese conversations in the
context of like, or worriedabout like little things that
you're like, why is that?
That's not even the scary job?
Okay, Terrible, horrifying.
(14:01):
War is terrible.
And I keep like telling myselflike war is horrible.
The fact that we're, you know,in 2024, in in advanced society,
and war is the answer to how weachieve anything and how we,
you know, advocate for peace, isjust absolutely mind boggling.
And the fact that you knowfathers and brothers and
(14:23):
husbands need to go out thereand put themselves at risk for
something that is not necessary.
It would be much easier ifeveryone just came to the table
and spoke and figured this outand you know, in a way, that
people's lives are not in danger, and and and at this point,
really there is no option, andso maybe it's a pointless
comment on my part, but it's notokay.
(14:46):
So your husband is away, yourneighbor's husbands are away,
Both fathers are away, People'sbrothers are away.
What does that look like for amother with children and I know
I hope it's okay if I share thisbefore we started, where U
(15:07):
turned the camera around and sheshowed us her bed and her kids
are sleeping right next to her,cuddled up, and I'm sure that
there's a lot of emotional stuffthat are on the children and a
lot of emotional baggage thatare on the wives wives who don't
hear from their husbands forthree weeks.
Meanwhile they're going tomikva and they're, you know,
(15:27):
dealing with an angsty teenagerand a teething toddler and all
the ups and downs that we dealwith, but without a partner and
without knowing how that partneris doing.
So I want, if you can, can youtalk to us both about being a
wife?
But also, what does that looklike being a mother with the
(15:49):
added baggage that your childrenare carrying?
And I would venture to say thatprobably your children were not
always in your bed, but maybenow, with the situation that's
happening, you know they needmore closeness and they need
more mommy time.
Yeah for sure.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
I feel overwhelmed, usually in the mornings, that I
really I sometimes I know I takea deep breath before I wake up
and tell myself, okay, I'm goingto make that through because
also I need to get to work aswell.
Yeah, it's not easy.
For sure for us and for thefuture, for the kids, the best
(16:29):
thing that can be, now that youknow my husband can fight and be
there for us in Israel, and ofcourse, I have some like
sometimes that I feel like I'mlike I'm done, like it's too
much for me and it's too much,but with like we have like
really support.
There is like some organizationthat sometimes they send like
(16:53):
Shabbat Shabbos meal for us Oncein a while.
I also take that and of course,like in the mornings, I just I
know that it's going to be noteasy because I need to be there
for all of them and also I havea teenager that is coming once a
week from the Yeshiva and Iknow that I have to be there for
him as well.
First of all, bezlat Hashem, Iknow my husband will be here
(17:15):
back and it's only temporary and, bezlat Hashem, it will be over
soon.
So, first of all, it's notforever, you know I need to
think about it.
I have to find, like, thepositive things, like what I
have, like Bezlat Hashem,they're healthy and I'm doing it
with my like.
I actually do it sometimes whenI feel like I really over long,
I try to say thank you for whatI do have, because I need, I
(17:39):
have to be strong for them and,and you know, my first one is
like, one of them is in thefirst grade now, so he needs a
lot of support and I need tohelp him with homework and stuff
and I know the morningsometimes can be very tough.
This, like this week, I said tomyself, how about?
Like?
I saw that he's like really is,he's all over the place and he
(18:03):
was like, and I didn't know howhe's going Like, if he's going
to go to school or not, and Isaid, please, hashem, I need
your help.
And in after two minutes, hisfriend knock on the door and ask
him to join him to school and Isaid, wow, this is what's for
me.
I felt that Hashem actuallyheard my like, my Tfilah, and it
(18:24):
was, like you know, a shaliachand angel from Hashem that took
him for school.
For sure, it's not easy and it'sa, but I'm not only the only
one.
There are so many around me forus and like it's a good cause
and it's the whatever it'ssupposed to be right now and
it's our future, it's our kidsfuture, our future around Israel
(18:46):
.
I actually heard someone will.
She lost her husband and shesaid that I have dogma and her
rabbi is also.
It was my, my, my father's rabbithat he said that we, we are in
a much better situation than wewere in the Holocaust and now
(19:08):
we have a state and we have tolift our la rime et ta roche and
to be proud, to be proud and tosay we are fighting now and we
are strong.
And also she said my husband, heleft me six children and I was
(19:29):
amazed how many strength thatshe had and she can speak like
that.
And she said he left so muchfor me in this world, for me and
for this world, and he foughtfor he's a brave person and he
also fought for Amis-A'el.
And I think we just, you know,to get through this, you know,
(19:54):
this time we have to stick toour goal and to our belief and
to know that we are doing thebest, that like the right thing
that we should do and also it'sgood that sometimes it's okay.
It's okay to be brokensometimes and to cry, and it's
like it's part of this you knowfrom life right now to be sad
(20:17):
and like sometimes to cry and toask for help, and it's okay,
it's normal.
The next day, bezat Hashem,will be better.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
This is so inspiring to hear you speak.
I think likely some of thestrongest women in the world are
probably you and yourcontemporaries in Israel, who
are holding down the fort andtrying to maintain a daily life.
Just, I think it was two weeksago.
My family and I we it waswinter break here in Canada, so
typically people travel so werented a cottage up north, but
(20:48):
it wasn't like a real vacation.
My husband was working, so Iwas alone with the kids and it
was hard.
It was so hard.
I was so excited to get back toroutine.
Like I wasn't sad that the weekwas over.
I did it for the kids and thekids enjoyed it, but it was
really on me and my shouldersand that getting up in the
morning and figuring out what todo every day and just getting
through the day Was a challenge.
(21:09):
And yet it wasn't for a week.
What you guys are doing is is Iknow you say it's temporary,
but it's been three months andwe don't know how much longer
it's going to be, so it's reallyimpressive.
I'm just wondering maybe youcould share specific examples of
ways that the women aresupporting each other.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Okay, so also there are some barbecue events for
kids and also for women that youcan like for the mothers.
You know, the kids, my kids,really they love going there
because, you know, first of all,they seem more, you know, kids
are in the same situation andthere are also there there is
(21:55):
music and like sometimes, likeyou know, craft and like they
can play and and and eat, andalso I don't need to wash the
dishes this night, you know,don't think about dinner, and so
it doesn't happen like it like,let's say, three times, like
maybe four times a week, a month, but you know, my kids actually
(22:17):
really looking forward.
And also there are someevenings only for the, for the,
for the women, for the wivesthat are, you know, and we are
we having, like you know, like abuffet and like they're they,
we have maybe a concert orsomething, so they really try to
(22:37):
do something, you know, specialfor us, for the women.
And also we have like aWhatsApp group that we can talk
and like we can share.
And also for me, I rememberwhen I, when we spoke about what
give you the strength and theresilience was like for me it's
also what was that?
(22:58):
My friends outside of Israelabroad, actually called me and
what's up me and like text meand I really felt like I'm not
alone and I'm like I'm part of acommunity.
I felt that it's, you know, eventhough we are far away, we, we
are one soul, we all one souland we, we care for each other
(23:20):
and gives me, you know, thestrength and the to keep going
and and to know that, to beproud of army sale.
And even though, you know,sometimes I ask, you know, I'm
telling myself, wow, I'm Israel.
Like you know, it's such a,it's a heavy duty to be part of
army sale because you know, wealways, you know it's, I don't
(23:44):
know, like there's not a sharemachine will come and we all be
in the best place ever.
And but now the time is, likeyou know, we all always have
reminders, reminders that youknow you are, miss, you need to
behave and, like you know, if we, if we forget that you know the
other nation, remind us.
You know what we are and all theantisemic also outside of
(24:07):
Israel and in Israel now.
But, but the end of the day,being part of army sale, and
especially now, when you felt it, like you know, you felt all
the warmth from all, from allyou know, from all kind you know
I also, from even one secularor like, don't, don't even think
about, like me, like you, notright handed, like, let's say,
(24:30):
more left.
I got so many message from them, so by the end we are all
brother and sisters.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Right, because we we, we sometimes get a reminder
that we're all exactly the same,doesn't make a difference who
we are or what we are A Jew is aJew is a Jew is a Jew, and
sometimes the people next toJews are also considered Jews,
and it's just the reality of ourlived history and the history
(25:01):
of the generations that camebefore us.
And so it's our turn to standup tall, unapologetically, and
stand up for Tyra and Yiddishkite and etc.
But we spoke a little bit aboutwhat happens to the children
and the support that thecommunity has rallied around you
.
So my question now is obviously, the children are carrying a
(25:27):
heavy burden and you know youshared a little bit about the
support that the community hascreated for the children and how
your children love to go tothose events.
What about wives, pregnant wives, wives who are due, wives, who
are going through a hardpregnancy and their husbands are
in middle way?
What about wives who go toMcFindles, don't know where
(25:47):
their husbands are coming home?
What about wives who had oneday with their husbands and
their husbands are like what isthe toll that it's taking on
marriages and women?
So and I just want to act tothat I think that it's a very
public.
It's, it's a lot more public.
(26:09):
So things like our soldiersneed barbecues, they need warm
food and our children needsupport because they're going
through a hard time.
So those public struggles wecan, we can address a little bit
more heads on.
But the private struggles, thestruggles that we, you know, are
quietly in our bedroom at night, where's the support for that
and how are, how are womendealing with it on this deeply
(26:30):
personal level?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
I know like you can tell when, when a wife, like
she's going through some like a,let's say, a crisis, when she's
supposed to go to the Miqveh,and you know she, she's going to
the Miqveh, actually, you knowwe they go, but you know you
don't know, maybe it's going tosurprise.
You know the husband and wedon't know if he can come
(26:53):
tomorrow or today.
You never know.
You know the schedule.
You know everything is like,very, very like.
It's not a, I think, and Iremember even one wife said just
, you know, can you hug me, oneof my friends?
You know I just need a hug.
You know someone to hug me.
And and I think we need to belike around us more, let's say
(27:16):
more sensitive, and to try to beeven less just, judgmental for
them.
For example, I have lots ofmothers who are coming to me and
like there are, let's say they,they don't stop crying in my
room and they say it's too muchfor me and like they, they, they
, I see they're all the long.
(27:38):
Like you know, even with thesmall stuff, you know it can be
very small, but for them it'slike it's, it's so big and you
know, be to listen and really totry to, even to offer like a, a
small thing that you can do,even at school, that you know
just that they will feel thatsomeone actually sees them and
(28:00):
understand what they're goingthrough.
Also, there are many like Iknow, a lot of them are going
also to like to a therapy, likethey get, like a, they get get
paid by the, by the army,because they know exactly how
much it's hard.
I know, sometimes during labor,usually when, when it happens,
(28:21):
I know that the husband iscoming to the hospital to be
with the wife, for few he gets,he gets some days off.
I know my brother, he gave up,is his turn to get to, to go
home, because one of his friendswas she was like pregnant in
the ninth month, and so he issaid to him go go be with your
(28:42):
wife.
You know, and and for sure forus it was not easy because it
was like he's trying to go backhome but he didn't.
But you know, even on this, youknow hard time.
Everyone and everyone is havinga hard time.
I think we still try to besensitive and like to, to hear
and and to to be there for theother one, I think by the end of
(29:06):
the day also, every woman orevery wife, yeah, she, actually
she.
She sees how much she is likeso great and like amazing, how
much Strength does she have?
I didn't know, I also didn'tknow it about myself, but
sometimes you find you find theco-op, you find the strength
(29:28):
that you didn't think it'sactually in you, actually, that
you know they're, they'refighting outside, you know
inside Gaza, but you know thewife is actually she, she
supports everything.
You know everything is on hershoulder.
So I'm it.
Can you get to that israel?
He will kill with the same time.
(29:48):
Can you?
I think I will.
This is why you like we, we, Ithink we hold we, we hold that.
You know the wall in the, inthe house.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
Beautiful.
Your words are actuallybeautiful, thank you you.
I just want to translate forour listeners.
You spoke about how it was inthe merit of the woman that the
Jews were were redeemed fromEgypt, and it's in our merit
that we're going to Merit theultimate redemption, the sheaq.
I'm men, I'm men, I'm men.
You spoke about how Women youand the other woman in Israel
(30:23):
are accessing strengths thatthey've never accessed before to
be able to keep themselves andtheir house together, and
throughout this podcast, you'vebeen talking about the belief
that what you're doing is forthe future and how you're have a
moon and be to a home.
I'm wondering if you can giveour listeners a very practical
(30:44):
tool that you employ during theday that helps you get through
the day.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
Okay, wow, I think for me.
You know I talk to Hashem everytime I feel like, let's say, I
(31:12):
feel alone and I said to Hashemyou please be here for me.
I want to feel you, I want toknow that what I'm doing is
right.
We have the bitachon in humanssometimes.
Always, we think the solutionis in the humanity and actually
(31:37):
what we saw, I think, duringthis, we thought even America
people are not in our side.
By the end of the day, we needHashem, we need Hashem to be
there for us and I think also weneed to give him the room and
(32:01):
the place in our life.
And I think every time I feelit's like too much and I feel
overwhelmed and I say it's likeI will not get through, that I
said, hashem, I need you herewith me now and I give you the
place.
Please come and support me.
(32:22):
And when we lost our neighbor hewas killed in Gaza and he has
the same name as my child and Iknow the family well.
One of the sisters, she is mystudent and also we spoke at the
beginning of the war and wemade something to healing for
(32:44):
all the soldiers and also Ithink she made one of them, for
him, for his brother, and reallyI was broken.
I was broken, but after I heardthe father when he said that he
knows that his son, eitan Eitanfish, he was so happy and so
(33:06):
proud to do his mission and heknew this is what he should do
and I know.
For me it was also a reminderthat by the end of the day, we
need you know what is going on,this is what we need to do, this
is what it's supposed to be,and it will lead us to a better
(33:29):
place.
Mashiach will come and we willbe part of it.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
I'm so happy you circle to this place because I'm
listening to you and themidwife in me is listening to a
story of birth of people whoreach the end.
You know, when you're in labor,you reach a certain point where
you're like I can't do thisanymore, I'm done, I'm out of
strength.
And then you dig deep into thisreally deep place and you find
(34:02):
strength and then you reach theend of that strength and then
you reach to a higher power andyou're like, well, I don't have
anything else.
But there's something that hasit.
Sometimes it's a person in theroom, sometimes you know it's a
deeper source of connection andyou feel the pain and you feel
the hardship, and but you knowyou're getting somewhere and
you're talking about thisprocess as a process of birth,
(34:23):
as a process of gettingsomewhere.
And I know sometimes, when we'retalking about this conversation
in Eritreal, we're talkingabout oh, medina, it's going to
be safe.
But I think that we're talkingabout a larger discussion of
this has to be part of somethingbigger, that we are going to a
place of Gula, a place ofeternal strength and eternal
(34:45):
peace.
And we're circling closer tothis where, as a nation, we need
to get into this really deepsense of we're all one and we're
all together and we're allconnected to this really, really
high place.
Is there something that you'velearned, or something like a
(35:06):
Torah or something that you'veconnected to that has brought
you strength in this time?
Speaker 2 (35:11):
period.
I try, I have my weekly share,that I listen to him.
I really try Also this throughthis time I had some, I need to
take some decisions and also Iwrote to the Rebbe in Igorod
Kodesh and it always brings meback to the shlichot and also to
(35:36):
be an educator and how much isimportant, because right now I
need to be in two jobs and it'sreally overwhelmed because I'm
working and also I need to be amom for five kids and my husband
is not here and during thistime that I needed to know I
need to keep these two jobs andI know that everything has a
reason.
Like your self's brothers andlike there were, you know it's
(36:00):
the same thing.
It's been such.
It's a brutal act to put yourbrother in a pit and then to
sell him and then by the endhe's like getting into Egypt and
from Egypt he becomes, like youknow, like the second for paro
and everything, and by the endhe said this is what Hashem
(36:20):
wanted to be.
You know this is everything,all the bad and all the.
You know everything that was so, so horrible, you know meant to
be.
That I will be here and I canhelp you and I have the strength
to understand that I'm part ofa bigger, a bigger thing, and we
(36:41):
are.
You know the history of AmIsrael, but Hashem will be with
us anytime and we will not leave.
Like you know, we're not goingto be abandoned, hashem Amen.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Amen, I mean we have a couple more minutes.
I want to finish off with onelast question, and that question
is your challenge seemsenormous, like I don't think
anyone can compare what they'regoing through with what you're
going through.
It's just something that defiesreally the ability to think
(37:15):
through it.
But for all of us women who areliving abroad, who don't
necessarily have husbands orsiblings in grave danger, can
you give a piece of advice orsomething that we can hold on to
that can help us get throughwhatever Nisaion that we are
(37:37):
currently going through?
Speaker 2 (37:38):
I think every time we have a Nisaion and we can feel
that we actually are going down.
So we need to know this isactually the beginning of that.
We're going to be lifted up bythe end Every Kolaridad y Alia
and we are going to be in ahigher place emotionally or
(38:03):
spiritually and even like,sometimes, physically.
You know from that because andI know, sometimes when we feel
that we miss something, likesomething is missing or
something is hard, it's actuallywe need to work hard to get it.
And I know if we had theNisaion, hashem knows exactly
(38:23):
that we can get this Nisaion andwe can handle it and we can
manage.
Maybe we need to work a bitharder and then we will achieve
that.
We will achieve whatever itlike, for example, sometime with
the Shalom Bait or with ourChinuch Yaladiim.
Nothing is not complete.
You know, this is our life now,without you know, bezrat Hashem
(38:46):
, beth Mighdash will, you know,will build Mezziyut y Eshlema,
but now Mezziyut is not Shlema,but it's actually for us, you
know, to keep willing and tolekavot, and lekavot is like
lekavot is from its line.
You know, it's our line forHashem and to look, looking
forward and and to be by the endof the Nisaion we have to be,
(39:11):
to have the belief that we willbe in a better place, and this
is like, maybe, the Nisaion it'sfor us to appreciate what we
have or to work harder and tofind our strength in ourself.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
Thank you so much for Oud, for joining with, joining
us today and sharing with us.
Let's try that again.
You need to be quiet.
Thank you, oud, for joining ustoday and sharing a glimpse into
life for the women and thechildren in Aratisral, as the
(39:46):
husbands, fathers and sons andwomen, by the way are out there
fighting and protectingAmnestyral during this very,
very important time.
So thank you so much, and Iwant to finish off and hold a
moment for our brothers andsisters in Aratisral.
We are dovening for you, we areincreasing in our learning and
(40:12):
in our mitzvahs for you, and wehope that by the time this
podcast episode comes out, weare ready, all in Yerushalayim,
with the coming of Mashiach, andwe hear good news in an
overabundant way.
So thank you, oud, thank you toall the women in Aratisral,
thank you to the children, thehusbands, the fathers.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
Amen, amen and thank you Oud.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
Thank you for listening.
We hope you enjoyed and grew.
Original music of Shamil'sNigan provided by Hazan David
Ketak.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
We look forward to your input, feedback and
suggestions.
We also have partnershipopportunities available.
Please email info atbodiessoulscom.
Again, info at bodiessoulscomwith two S's.
Thank you.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.