Sexual Biohacking with Susan Bratton

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Has your sex life hit a wall?  If eating chocolate on the couch while binge watching vintage Sex and the City episodes sounds more appealing than actually having sex in the city, then you’re not going to want to miss this edition of the Body Literacy Podcast.
Intimacy expert and self-proclaimed “Orgasmanaut”, sexpert, Susan Bratton, is a champion and advocate for all those who desire intimacy and passion their whole life long. Susan shares with us her best secrets for igniting intimacy through sexual biohacking.

Anti-aging products for sagging skin and muscle loss are the norm in our culture, but few people consider that our sexual health requires as much conscious attention in order to maintain vibrant sexuality especially in the second half of life.  Lifting weights and and eating organic are great for the body, but did you know there are many options for boosting sexual health that extend beyond diet and exercise?

Susan shares her top tips for boosting libido and non-invasive treatments that improve vitality for men and women alike.

Susan’s commitment as a sexual wellness educator in rooted in personal experience.  Having watched her own sex life dwindle while she and her husband pursued busy careers, when their relationship came to a crossroads, the couple made a soul pact to do whatever was necessary to reignite their passion for one another.  Her experience-based approach is what makes her programs so authentic and relatable.
Susan and I go deep on sexual biohacking techniques, sexual regenerative medicine, intimacy skills, communication in the bedroom, and much more.

You can learn more about Susan and her courses and product lines for enhancing your intimacy at SusanBratton.com and The20Store.com .  You can also visit expandherorgasmtonight.com as mentioned by Susan in the show.

This episode of the Body Literacy Podcast is sponsored by the Analemma water wand.  You can learn more structuring your water to a coherent crystaline state at https://analemma-water.com/?ref=5640 , use code JEN10 for 10% off of your purchase.

This episode is made possible by Beam Minerals. Check out the Jen’s Favorite Things tab at JenMayo.com for a code for 20% off of your purchase of Beam Minerals or save even more on auto ship. https://jenmayo.com/jens-favorite-things/

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Has your sex life hit a wall.
If eating chocolate on thecouch while binge watching
vintage sex in the city episodesounds more appealing than
actually having sex in the city,then you're not going to want
to miss this edition of the BodyLiteracy Podcast.
Intimacy expert andself-proclaimed orgasmonaut sex
expert, susan Bratton is achampion and advocate for all

(00:23):
those who desire intimacy andpassion their whole life long.
Susan shares with us her bestsecrets for igniting intimacy
through sexual biohacking.
Anti-aging products for saggingskin and muscle loss are the
norm in our culture, but fewpeople consider that our sexual
health requires as muchconscious attention in order to

(00:44):
maintain vibrant sexuality,especially in the second half of
life.
Lifting weights and eatingorganic are great for the body,
but did you know there are manyoptions for boosting sexual
health that extend beyond dietand exercise?
Susan shares her top tips forboosting libido and non-invasive
treatments that improvevitality for men and women alike

(01:07):
.
Susan's commitment as a sexualwellness educator is rooted in
personal experience, havingwatched her own sex life dwindle
while she and her husbandpursued busy careers.
When their relationship came toa crossroads, the couple made a
soul pact to do whatever wasnecessary to reignite their
passion for one another.

(01:27):
Her experience-based approachis what makes her program so
authentic and relatable.
Susan and I go deep on sexualbiohacking techniques, sexual
regenerative medicine, intimacyskills, communication in the
bedroom and much more.
You can learn more aboutSusan's products and programs at
susanbrantoncom andthetwintestorecom.

(01:49):
Welcome to the show, susan.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Hello, you beautiful creature.
It's so nice to be here withyou on this lovely morning and
see your gorgeous face.
You're such a beauty and I'm soexcited to be here.
As I was telling you before westarted the show, I'm
continually impressed with thewide variety of curious things
you bring into the mix of thisshow, and I'm also really

(02:15):
impressed at the bravery andyour willingness to really go
into something that I think isone of the biggest issues in
sexuality today, which isunderstanding women's female
orgasmic response duringintercourse, which is such a
thorny subject for so manypeople, I think we're going to
shed some incredible light on it.

(02:37):
So thanks for having me.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
We're going to have a very interesting conversation
and thank you so much.
It's you're quite beautifulthis morning as well.
So I will start out briefly.
Anybody who's listened to thispodcast before may have heard
the story before, but for thosewho may be new listeners and new

(03:00):
to the show, I will kind ofclue them in on kind of how I
came to be in this space and whyI specifically asked you to
come on the show and share yourexpertise with us as well.
So in 2016, my father took aViagra that led to something

(03:20):
that we were told is called aspinal stroke, and this set off
a cascade of events in his bodythat ultimately led to his death
a few years later.
But what I really took awayfrom that experience and
watching his health decline andhis mental state during that
period of time was just howclosely linked chronic disease

(03:45):
is with sexual health.
And hats off to my mom and dad.
They were well into their 70swhen this happened, so like I'm
very inspired by them that theywere still enjoying that part of
their life, and I think you'regoing to talk a little bit about
aging and sexuality as we as wemove through this conversation,
but I, you know I really tookaway that there is this big link

(04:07):
between chronic disease andwhen we look at bodies that are
in fight or flight, the firsttwo things to go are
reproduction and sexuality anddigestive health.
So I think we'll probably leavethose into the conversation as
well as we get started here.
But I also wanted to talkbriefly.
You had mentioned in anotherinterview that I saw that you

(04:30):
did with somebody a book by DrLindsay Persson Persson.
Yes, burke would be oh.
Berkson got it Lindsay.
She had a book called SexyBrain, I believe, and she has a
quote in there.
I believe that she talks aboutintimacy as being as beneficial

(04:52):
as veggies and exercise for ourhealth, and that really
resonated with me.
So let's start there.
Why is sex and intimacy soimportant?

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Yeah, you know it's funny.
I recently saw a piece of a newpiece of data that said there
were 3,500 participants in thisstudy and they were shown images
of people between the ages of18 and 80.
And their job was to guess theage of the person.
And in the study what they saidwas that people who had

(05:23):
intimate connection three timesa week or more looked 10 years
younger than their cohorts.
And I was like I could list allthe neurotransmitters and the
vascular experience and all theresearch and nervousness and all
that stuff about great sex, buthell's bells, it makes you look
10 years younger.
Exactly that alone is reasonenough to focus on your sex life
and having satisfying, agelessintimacy.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yes, yes, so I mean 10 years younger and make you
younger, absolutely, absolutely,because especially important
when you're my age, because I'min my 60s.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
So when you're in your 40s and 50s you can kind of
fudge it a little bit, but ifyou're 60s you're like I need
those 10 years Right, Give methat decade.
I want to look like I'm in my50s, not my 60s.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
Exactly, exactly so how did you end up becoming the
sex birth that you are now?

Speaker 2 (06:19):
Well, I so.
I've been with my darlinghusband for 31 years now, 11
years into our marriage.
We had everything going for us,except I had started not
wanting to have sex with him,and he was super bummed out
about it.
And yeah, everything to get meto have sex with him.

(06:39):
The poor guy, I mean honeydews,begging, pleading, bargaining,
anything.
And man, I was just notmotivated.
I wanted to have good sex, butI hadn't been having good sex
Since the new relationshipenergy had worn off in our early
years of our marriage.
I had been basically just goingalong with it, you know, and it

(07:02):
wasn't really very satisfyingfor me.
I wasn't having orgasms fromanything but my own vibrator and
my husband was having a greattime.
It felt great to him and I justreally checked out of that.
And when I checked out of thephysical intimacy, he checked
out of the emotional intimacyand got super pissed at me,
which I don't blame him for anyof this.

(07:23):
I don't blame us for anythingthat we did.
Our responses were normal and,honestly, jen, it's what happens
in bedrooms all over the world.
I mean, the problem is that whatDr Laurie Mintz so eloquently
described in her TED talk aboutthe orgasm gap the difference
between how easy it is for amale body partner to achieve

(07:45):
satisfaction from intercourseversus how much more unusual and
not common it is for our femalebodied people to achieve orgasm
from penetration and I thoughtto myself this is exactly what
happened to me and what almostdestroyed my marriage.
But my husband and I wanted tofight for our marriage.

(08:07):
We were best friends.
I could never, I could neverhave done better than I married
Very, very well.
I got lucky and so did he, andwe didn't want to end our
marriage.
So we said, all right.
Well, we're very, veryintelligent people.
What do we do here?
Let's go to a therapist.
Let's figure out what we needto do to learn how to have good

(08:28):
sex, and essentially what wewere doing was closing the
orgasm gap.
That's what we were doing.
We just didn't know.
Those were the words at thetime, right, and we did therapy.
I dealt with some issues fromsome sexual traumas that I'd had
as a young woman.
And we got through that and westarted going to sex workshops

(08:50):
and I have to tell you I was thebravest girl in the world, like
I mean, to get naked and go tosex workshops and do that stuff.
I was.
I had never even looked at myown vulva, really.
I mean, I was just very kind ofdisconnected from the whole
experience and I was a SiliconValley power woman executive.
You know I was just like workcareer, my kid.

(09:12):
You know, all that stuff andthose sex workshops just
absolutely melted me.
They opened me to mypossibility for my pleasure, and
within a workshop or two, wewere having the best sex of our
lives, and it kept gettingbetter as we learned more and
more, and we looked at eachother and we were like we have

(09:33):
to bring this stuff to theinternet.
We have to make it so peoplecan get this information without
spending thousands of dollarsand having to get naked in a
room full of people.
How do we do that?
That's one way to do it, though, right?
Well, we were both techies.
We were both tech executives,so bringing things to the
internet was like what we did.
So, 17 years ago now, jan, westarted personal life media, and

(09:56):
I have written and publishedover 44 books and programs that
teach people how to transformhaving sex into making love.
I've crossed the gasm chasm,I've closed the orgasm gap, and
what I can tell you and yourlisteners is that orgasms are
simply a learned skill.

(10:17):
Every person can do it.
There are 20 kinds of orgasmsthe human body can have, and I'm
talking about, for the malebodied and female bodied I don't
care if you're XXXY of anygender expression sparkle
rainbow for the win, but you cantrain yourself to have so many

(10:40):
different kinds of orgasms.
There's actually threecategories.
So I've been studying orgasmfor two decades.
I call myself an orgasmonaut.
I'm like the astronaut oforgasms.
I go to the far reaches oforgasmic outer space and I come
back with a map to the territoryso you can take your rocket
boosters right there too.
And that's, I think.
If there's one takeaway that Iwanna give you and your

(11:04):
listeners on this podcast today,it's that you have so much
orgasmic capacity and that yoursex life and your personal
growth they're two sides of thesame coin.
You'll get better at sex as youget older.
The best sex is ahead of you.

(11:25):
The female body is extremelydifferent, in the way we have
arousal patterns, than the malebody, and what I like to do is I
like to describe the differencebetween what I call patriarchal
sex and matriarchal sex,because we've been having sex
like men need us to, but notbecause they are like we're

(11:49):
having it my way.
It's just all they know.
And they've been more of themasculine sexual leader in most
of our relationships, but aswomen, as we get to income
parity, as feminism moves itstentacles more deeply into our
culture.
As women get more empowered andmore confident, we are

(12:11):
beginning to say what should sexreally be like?
Let's re-examine the way we'rethinking about sex.
And our male body partners arelike, yeah, let's reimagine it,
because if it's not good for you, it's not good for me.
And that's where my husband andI ended up was like let's fix
it, it's broken Right.
42, 43, 44, 45, somewhere inthere.

(12:32):
In my early 40s I started forthe first time having orgasms
from intercourse andsubsequently have become quite
good at orgasming fromintercourse as well as all of
the other kinds of orgasmsFemale ejaculatory, cervical,
breast gasms, throat gasms,belly gasms.
There's locations you can touch.

(12:53):
There are orgasmic techniqueslike erotic hypnosis is an
example of one expanded orgasm.
I've had an expanded orgasmpractice with my partner for
going on 20 years.
That's one of the things thatsaved my marriage.
One of the three things thatsaved my marriage were
understanding what he wanted outof my, our relationship and him

(13:13):
understanding what I wanted,because they're different things
that matriarchal, patriarchal,not just in the bedroom, and the
whole thing.
Radical honesty, telling thetruth about what felt good, what
didn't, what I was experiencingand what I wanted and needed
and learning to understand andlisten to myself and give my
body voice so that my partnerknew where I was at all times.

(13:35):
And number three was thisnotion of an expanded orgasm
practice which helped me becomemulti-orgasmic through manual
stimulation.
It's a clitoral strokingpractice that then helped me
carry that body wisdom ofexpanded, multiple, incredible
orgasms from direct clitoral tipof clitoral stimulation into

(14:00):
intercourse orgasms.
Because I activated my yoni andby yoni I mean my female genital
system, because a lot of womenthink about their bodies as,
okay, I've got a vagina and aclitoris and that's kind of like
it for sex.
It's like it's those two things, that's what's on the table,

(14:21):
but actually your entire femalegenital system.
You have three erectile tissuesystems, your vagina's wrapped
in erectile tissue and when youget that all activated you cross
that gasm like you're justhopping, skipping, jumping right
over that bridge.
You're just like leaping acrossthe gasm.
So when women are empowered tounderstand how their anatomy

(14:42):
works and how their arousalsystem works and the kind of
stimulation they need to haveorgasms from intercourse, they
suddenly start doing it.
So penetration orgasms ororgasms from intercourse are
just one of the kinds of orgasmsthat you can learn.
But if you're in heterosexualmonogamous relationship in a way
, I think it may be and thesingle most important thing you

(15:03):
can learn, because if you're notsexually satisfied from
intercourse, you're not gonnawanna keep doing it.
Every time you do it justbecause it's nice to be close to
him, you're putting anotherbrick in the wall of your future
sexless relationship, yourbreakup.
He's gonna go find someoneyounger thinking you were broken
.
You're not broken.

(15:24):
You're having sex like a dudeand you need to have sex like a
lady.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
And I think kind of what you were describing there,
with that expanded orgasmexperience too and this is maybe
kind of a difference of thesexes as well is more like
riding away versus falling off acliff, and I think so many
people in our culture have beenthe only sex education they've
gotten is the falling off thecliff kind of sex education.

Speaker 2 (15:55):
That's the original Kinsey ejaculatory model from
the 1960s Time.
For an update on that, and addexpandherorgasmtonightcom, which
, if you'll put it in the shownotes, that would be great there
is your.
And I'm gonna make a list ofthings.
I'm gonna probably drop a fairnumber of free URLs for things,

(16:16):
because Wonderful A woman who'slistening to this, or even her
male body partner.
If you're on that journey tocross that orgasm chasm, to
close that orgasm gap, I wantyou to have the assets that you
need and I've got so many thingsthat can help you.
So expandherorgasmtonight.
Actually, one of the things youget is you get these things
called three free pleasurereports, and one of them is what

(16:39):
is expanded orgasm and expandedorgasm.
There's charts in there thatshow you the difference, but
essentially, expanded orgasm isdifferent than extended orgasm,
is different than multipleorgasm and is different than
orgasm.
It's like exponential timespace quant.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
It's like a quantum, quantum orgasm is really what
we're talking about Exactly.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
Now, we're in the quantum sphere these days with
our quantum health, and weshould have our quantum orgasms,
right, right right.
So that is very good for you tovisualize what you're going for.
I always like pictures and Ialso, in that particular
download, give you three freepleasure reports.
The other one is called thepower of peaking, which also

(17:19):
helps intensify your orgasms.
It's a little technique thatuses your nervous system the way
your nervous system works toexpand the sensation that you
feel.
And the third one is somethingcalled touching for rapture,
which is a very important thingthat not a lot of people think
about.
But when we're with our malebody partners and they're trying
to make us have an orgasm,that's the wrong mentality.

(17:42):
When they're trying to twistour knobs and push our buttons
and like we're some kind ofPachinko game or something, it's
much better if they understandthat we get turned on by their
turn on and that when they'reholding back their turn on and
they're in their strategy mindand they're trying to make us do
something, it's very difficultbecause we feel performance
anxiety.
But when they begin to takepleasure from our pleasure and

(18:04):
they show us their pleasure, webegin to resonate.
We're vibrating with their turnon and that's making us get
more turned on.
So these are really greatpractices for couples to learn
at any time in their love lifeand they really facilitate
crossing that gasm-casm.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
Right and I think part of what you're describing
to and I love that youintroduced the word quantum I'm
a huge student of energymedicine and I think, both
medically and sexually, we kindof live in a culture where
everything has become verymechanicalistic and I think part

(18:45):
of that's part of what femalesexuality and women as sex
educators bring to the space isa much greater understanding of
how we move energy through ourbodies and that sex, like many
other experiences, is not just amechanical go from point A to

(19:07):
point B kind of experience andit's not linear.
It is this vast, all over theplace.
It's messy, but a beautifulmessy in terms of not being on
this strict path of how do I get, like I said, from point A to
point B.

(19:27):
And one other thing I wanted tobring up is you were describing
your relationship with yourhusband, which that sounds so
beautiful and I'm so gratefulthat you guys were able to go on
that journey together and nowsounds like you're in a very
beautiful place.
This term relational alchemy andhow we take, like I said, the

(19:49):
energy that we have in ourrelationships and how that
translates into health and therest of our bodies and minds,
and how that translates into,like we were talking about
earlier, longevity and justlooking younger and feeling
younger and feeling alive andvibrant.
Is that the purpose of orgasm?
Just to help us feel alive?

Speaker 2 (20:13):
Yeah, I mean there's a lot of debate about what the
benefits of orgasm are, not thatthere are benefits, but why
there are benefits, and perhapswe'll never know, and it may be
one of the most beautifulmysteries of humanity, but it
can be.
People think it might help withconception, it might help with

(20:35):
drawing people together andcreating pair bonding.
It might be helping women resettheir nervous systems because,
remember, we're estrogendominant and our male body
partners are testosteronedominant, and so, because we're
estrogen dominant, estrogen is amolecule of safety because
women are prey, not predators,and so that's.

(20:57):
Another thing about thematriarchal versus patriarchal
sex is that men, they're hornyall the time.
They masturbate every daybecause they need to keep their
sperm fresh.
They wake up with a morningerection.
If they're healthy, they havenighttime erections.
If they're healthy, they'realready turned on because
they're so testosterone dominant.
But they forget that we're not.

(21:18):
That we run with the moon cycle.
Even after menopause we havedays five, our five day horny
window around ovulation.
That makes us more interestedin sex, but that we're not
always like ready to go.
That we need a much longerwarmup.
That our genital system is allthe erectile tissue system,

(21:38):
which is the same amount as ourmale body partners have.
And oh, we're all.
Everybody's talking about men'serections.
Who's talking about women'serections?
I am.
Women don't even realize thatthey are suffering from the same
erectile dysfunction as theirmale body partners.
I mean, by the time a guy is 40and definitely 50, he's not as
hard and firm as he used to be.

(21:59):
Now you can do a lot to reversethat with this.
Sexual regenerative treatments.
You can do this to both thefemale and male genitals.
We have the same amount oferectile tissue inside us, but
because it's inside us and notthis kind of straight shot down
the tube, if you will, it takesa while for all of the blood

(22:21):
flow to get into the nooks andcrannies, which means we just
need longer to become aroused.
We need more time, more fullbody touch, more words of
encouragement and appreciation,more safety and comfort in our
love making.
The lover space needs to be setin a way that the sheets aren't

(22:41):
scratchy, there's dry, fluffytowels, the lube we like is
there, the lighting is good, themusic is good, we've got our
water, we've got our toys, we'vegot the things we need to
surrender into our pleasure,because it's very.
It's much more difficult for usto get to the surrender, into
our pleasure moment, unless wehave all of these on ramps to

(23:06):
surrender.
And I think personally that thenumber one reason why women
aren't currently aren't yetbecause every woman can orgasm
from intercourse.
They are not yet because theydidn't take into account that
they are going to just have aslower arousal process.

(23:27):
And so we need all of thistouch and adoration and safety
and warming up and foreplay, butI don't even like the term
foreplay.
I really would love toeradicate that out of our
lexicon.
I would like to change thesemantics on this, jen.

(23:47):
I don't like foreplay and sexbecause that's like oh, sex is
intercourse, oh, sex is all thethings.
I want the yoni massage, I wantthe deep kissing, I want the
words of adoration, I want thefoot rubs, the full body touch,
the back rubs, the sexy lingerie, the nice lover stuff.

(24:07):
I need all of those things toreally settle in, get out of my
estrogen multitasking monkeybrain and get pulled into my
sensation with my partner.
And I need the heart connectionfrom my partner.
And that's why my brand, myflavor of sex ed, is heart

(24:29):
connected.
Passionate love makingtechniques, bedroom
communication skills, because Ithink those are.
That's what's missing in ourworld.
And you had mentioned porn.
You wanted to talk a little bitabout that.

Speaker 1 (24:46):
Oh, definitely definitely.

Speaker 2 (24:48):
I'd love to hear your opinion about it and I feel
like it's definitely ruining sexfor women, but you tell me what
your thoughts are on it Forsure, and I'll back up just for
a minute, because I think whatyou were just describing.

Speaker 1 (25:00):
I love to talk about intention and doing things on
purpose, and I think the type ofexperience you're describing is
just that is, creating anexperience out of sex and
intimacy, rather than justhaving it be this thing that you
accidentally do because you'reboth in the same place at the

(25:20):
same time and whatever.
So I love that concept ofcreating an intentional
experience in a partnered spacewhere you're both sharing that
connection and both going intoit with a certain intention.
As far as porn goes, though andwe could probably do a whole
episode just on this, but Iwould love to get your feedback

(25:45):
on this but I feel like a pornseems to have become the primary
source of sex education, andI'm a mother of teenagers, so
I'm very fearful that this iswhere most of these kids are
getting their education at thispoint.
So, again, I'm kind ofintentional on making sure I, at

(26:06):
least in my household, thatthat's not the case, but
certainly I think that's wheremost of it is coming from.
I was also, I will say, on apersonal.
I was married to my high schoolsweetheart for 17 years and the
dating scene was a littledifferent when I came out of

(26:27):
that marriage and it becameincreasingly apparent that most
men are getting their sex frompornography and I think the
unfortunate thing about thatthere's a multitude of them, but
from a woman's standpoint is Ithink that has turned a lot of
women into actresses andperformance artists, where

(26:50):
they're performing to theexpectation of what men have
witnessed in these types offilms.
So I'd love to get yourfeedback on that.

Speaker 2 (27:02):
Yeah, this is my comment will be a generalization
, because there are women who doenjoy pornography Absolutely,
and this is my personal opinion.
My personal opinion is that Iunderstand that pornography is
there to help men masturbatebecause they're biologically
driven to top off their semen sothat they can impregnate a
woman, even at any age.

(27:23):
They're just like, made togenerate future cells, replicate
themselves.
That being said, it really bumsme out that they get so many
men get so sucked into porn andthen it clouds their judgment
and ability to just be heartconnected.
Porn is typically degrading towomen.

(27:48):
It's made for men to masturbate.
It sets a bad example.
It has no foundation in femalepleasure.
It's all just a trick of theeye and fake to titillate guys.
They get hooked and addicted.
They've got dopamine issuesthere.
It's just a big swirling sewagesystem 99% of it.

(28:12):
There are, I'm sure, somesilver linings, but what we have
to deal with as women in the21st century is a couple of
things.
Number one we have tounderstand that our men are
gonna watch that shit.
They're not gonna do it.
They're gonna do it.
They're gonna do it on theirphone, in their car, when
they're not around us.
They're doing it, it'shappening.

(28:33):
So all we have control over isour relationship to our lover,
and what we have control over isasking for what kinds of
experiences we want.
And the way that I like to dothat is, to every love-making

(28:55):
date that I have, I set the tonefor my appetite.
I talk about something I'm inthe mood for.
I ask for what I want.
I'm super comfortable askingfor what I want.
I like to try a lot of newthings.
So sex with me is exciting.
It's different every time, andthat's because if we allow

(29:21):
ourselves to go inside andfigure out what our body wants
and what's turning us on andwhat we're in the mood for at
the time, and we can communicatethat to our partner and our
partner's like yeah, that soundsgood, I'd like to give that to
you.
What I know is that most of usare in relationship with if
we're lucky enough to be inrelationship, we're in
relationship with a male bodypartner.

(29:43):
Not that I do not have a verylarge and fanatic gay following
and some lesbian following.
There is a little more quiet inthe world than the gay guys are
, but I'm an equal opportunity,ageless sexual educator.
But most of the people are inheterosexual monogamous

(30:07):
relationships and what I foundis that our men want to give us
anything we want.
They will give up theirpleasure for our pleasure.
They are not selfish, they arejust watching porn and
non-educated.
So it is the onus is on us, aswomen, to begin to listen to and

(30:27):
trust our bodies, because ourbodies are talking to us all the
time, and for us to acknowledgethat we're in these 28 day
cycles, acknowledge that ourarousal takes 20 to 30 minutes
longer than our male bodypartner, and we're gonna stand
for our arousal ladder and whatour body needs every time we

(30:47):
have love making of any kind.
We also I encourage us, asfemale-bodied people, to be very
creative with your sexuality.
I don't know what you're intoright now, but I want you to
know.
One of the things I puttogether recently was something
called the Sex Life Bucket List.

(31:08):
It's at sexlifebucketlistcomand I'm gonna write that down.

Speaker 1 (31:13):
So we'll remember Sex Life Bucket List.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
And I created that because knowing orgasm skills
and intercourse techniques andlove making techniques and
bedroom communication skillsthose are fantastic.
That's the foundation.
But it's this idea of my sexlife is a gift that keeps giving
to me my whole life and I wantto do new things and try new

(31:39):
things all the time, becausethat new relationship energy is
generated by the novelty andvariety of trying new things.
I wanna bust out of the grab aboob and stick it in.
We're going on his timetable.
I never get aroused, so I don'twanna have sex with him anymore,
because sex is alwaysintercourse.
I want it to be more like okay,what do you want from your sex

(32:00):
life right now?
A, B or C from these 48 ideas?
If you go to Sex Life BucketList, what I created was a
downloadable PDF with 48 eroticplay dates on it, and it's free,
and it will lead you to many ofmy other free things as well as
paid things.
You never should get anythingfrom me.
It's available for you.
I'm not here to push anybodyinto buying a thing for me.

(32:23):
I do great, so I just offer alot of free things because I
want to meet people where theyare.
And with the Sex Life BucketList, I've given you a 40 minute
guided video.
That's kind of a.
It's your first erotic playdate where, if you have a
partner, you don't have to havea partner.
You can just do this yourself.

(32:43):
There's plenty of solopractices in this thing, but you
can sit with your partner, ifyou have one, and watch the
video.
You each have your print out.
You've printed it out on yourhome computer and you circle A,
B or C for each of the 48 eroticplay dates.
A is it's definitely going onmy bucket list.
B is it's not for me, but ifyou, my partner, wanted to do it
, I would totally do it with you.

(33:04):
C is it's not for me right now.
It may be in the future.
Our tastes change as we mature.
My sex I had my 20s differentthan my 30s, different than my
40s it keeps building becauseyou keep getting better.
You have more experiences.
Experience makes you confidentconfident to try many things.
So the really fun thing aboutit is that when you get your

(33:24):
A-lists and you kind of mergethem, you have a lot of fun new
things to try which moves youfrom sex is foreplay and
intercourse to oh my God.
Sex is mutual masturbation withtoys.
Sex is yonian lingam massage.
Sex is role play.
Sex is new positions.
Sex is positions in newlocations.

(33:46):
It's maybe a little restraintor blindfolds or a sexy photo
shoot or videotaping us makinglove so we can look at it later.
You know there's I've got 48different really fun ideas, and
I think that one of the waysthat you cross the gasm chasm is
learning what your body wantsin the moment and feeling

(34:09):
confident to express it, and Iuse a technique called the
sexual soulmate pack to teachyou how to do that, especially
if you have a partner who's likeI know what I'm doing, you're
not to tell me, or you know, orthey collapse emotionally the
minute you give them one littlefeedback thing.
So you just shut up becauseit's worse when they have, you
know, like a little shit fit inthe middle of sex.
You don't want that and that'swhat women are always afraid of.

(34:32):
Oh God, you know, it justreally takes it so hard and it's
like because that's because hewants to please you so much.
So I have this ninja techniquewhich helps women get their guys
to love the feedback.
So once you, that's the sexualsoulmate pack, and I'm making a
note, it's at sexual soulmatepackcom P-A-C-T like an

(34:52):
agreement.
That's a really important partof crossing the gasm chasm.
So it's taking the emphasis offof intercourse, learning how to
be multi-orgasmic through lotsof different types of
stimulation, including one ofthe things I call orgasmic cross
training, where you have thesefive different types of tools,

(35:12):
sex toys that you use in yoursolo practice to awaken new
neural pathways throughout theyoni, the vulva, Instead of it
all just being focused on thetip of the clitoris, Because the
tip of the clitoris is the ice,it's an iceberg.
That's the tip above thesurface of the water, but the
icebergs below the surface ofthe water.
So you've got to activate allthat tissue inside, not inside

(35:35):
the vagina, but like the labia,the inner and outer labia, the
mons, the g-spot, the perineals.
There's so many areas that canbe activated.
So, being confident to ask forwhat you need, activating more
tissue so that everything feelsgood, working on your blood flow

(35:55):
to your yoni.
I want to talk about some of thesexual regenerative things that
women need to do once they hit40 and above and help their male
body partners do it too, soyour genitals can go the
distance, so you have agelesssexuality, which is parking like
that for the very end, ifyou're OK with that, Just to
make sure people are like OK,right now sex hurts or right now

(36:16):
I'm just like my orgasm justdoesn't, I can't achieve it, I
can't get that.
There's some things, there'ssome really simple fixes for
that.
And then the communicationpiece.
So, communication, variety andnovelty, setting the lover space
, trying a lot of new things sothat you become much more
comfortable and facile.
So it's not just like you'vegiven up on it, Mindset, oh, all

(36:41):
women can orgasm.
I'm doing it Like I'm committedto crossing the orgasm-casm.
I thought it was me and nowSusan Bratton told me it's not
me and I can do it.
I'm doing it Like I thinkthat's number one.
So many women just put up withvery mediocre experiences.

(37:02):
So that's, I think, a reallyimportant part of it too.

Speaker 1 (37:06):
Oh, definitely, definitely.
Can you explain the differencebetween libido, desire and
arousal?

Speaker 2 (37:13):
Yeah, I basically think about it as three
interlocking circles, thosethree interlocking kind of like
the Olympic logo.
That's the.
Olympic logo of sex For the win,for the gold.
And libido is your body's kindof horniness and that's based on

(37:36):
your health.
So your health and your libidoare two sides of the same coin.
If you don't feel well, youdon't have a libido.
If you're good, if your gut issolid, if you're getting good
exercise and movement, if you'reeating well, you're going to be
horny.
A lot of women say, oh, myhormones are low, I just don't
want you sex.
And I'm like what if I told youit's probably not your hormones

(37:57):
.
Like sure, put some estrogen inyour vagina to thicken it up a
little so it's not so sensitive.
Take some testosterone and rubit on your clitoris and your
labia.
It'll bloom them a little bitand it'll sexal feel even better
.
That's great.
That's real problem at all.
Have your progesterone tobalance it all out Awesome.
You can even do intravaginaloxytocin.

(38:18):
I mean that'll really make yourvulgar.
It's like brrrrl lush.
But it's really your health.
But it's the other two pieces,the desire.
So that's the other circle.
The desire is how do you feelabout yourself?
Are you self-flagellatingbecause you've got some

(38:39):
cellulite or a poochie tummy ora saggy ass Like, come on, who
cares?
We live in a skin sack.
You take good care of it.
It is what it is.
That should not hold you backfrom having fabulously orgasmic,
heart-connected experiences.
The human body is just theexternal entity I mean.

(39:00):
Sex is really about the heart,connection and pleasure you
co-create.
That's what it is.
It's the ecstatic bliss of deepintimacy, and you can do that
with any shape body.
So don't think that you need tohave some perfect thing to have
hot sex.
You can have hot sex rightwhere you are right now, with

(39:23):
whatever you have.
That's desire and desire isalso do.
I desire my part?
Because for a lot of us women,our partners, they've got a fat
gut, their toes look like shrek,they got hair sticking out of
their ears and their nose.
They don't shave, they stink.
They haven't changed.
They've got crap on their shirt, I mean.

(39:43):
And I got to go back to potbelly.
I friggin' hate a pot belly.
If my husband starts getting alittle belly, I start whacking
it with the back of my hand likethat's got to go.
I am so serious about keepingmy man live and nimble and
flexible.
He drives me crazy when we likeslip and eat too much and we
put on a few pounds and I'm likeWell, and that belly fat

(40:05):
produces more estrogen anddegrades testosterone production
too, doesn't it?
Yes, it does.
You end up living with yourgrandpa or your grandma when
their testosterone drops fromall that belly fat and they're
not getting any exercise andthey're not lifting any weights.
Oh, you're living with grandma.
I don't want to have sex withgrandma.

(40:26):
I need, I don't even want tohave sex with grandpa.
I want to have sex with daddy.
You know, hot dad, daddy.
I want the hot daddy.
That's what I like.
I like a daddy.
So I think it's really importantfor us, as women too, that we
have to keep our eye on ourmen's health.
They don't do a great job of it, most of them.
So you know, we're doctor, mom,we're on top of it all.
So desire is due to desire inyour partner.

(40:47):
Is he sexy or do they stink andgross you out every time he
walks in the room?
Like you got to get on him forthat crap?
Because if you don't say, dude,there's no way I'm going to
have sex with you.
If you're wafting, stink everytime you walk through my room,
come on, dude, you got to livewith me.
You need to say I look good,what are you doing?
Step it up to attract me.

(41:09):
You know that's important forus.
And if they're pissing you offoutside the bedroom, you're not
going to want to have orgasmsinside the bedroom.
So you've got to have rememberwhen I was telling you that
understanding what my partnerwanted and him understanding
what I wanted in ourrelationship was one of the
three things that helped mecross the gasm chasm.

(41:29):
I said one was our expandedorgasm practice.
One was being willing to betotally honest with each other
about everything, like sayingwhat needs to be said.
You have to.
We are so culturallyacclimatized to walking on
eggshells, withholdingespecially women, subjugating

(41:51):
our own needs.
You can't come hard if you'repissed off at your partner.
It's just, I mean, unlessyou're dissociating, which is a
whole nother form of head gamethat's keeping you from having
the orgasmic bliss with yourpartner that you want when you
have.
And then, lastly, it's arousal.

(42:11):
And I want to come back toarousal because if I leave your
listeners with any other thingbesides, you can have orgasms
from penetration.
If you just do these things,you know it's that we have to
give ourselves time for ourarousal, and I want to talk

(42:32):
about what that looks like in abit of detail if you're willing
to go there with me.
I don't know how we are on timeand where you want to go.
I can always come back and wecan do like literally a dive
into arousal, but whatever isgood for you.
But the last thing I would sayis that if you aren't committed
to having honesty with yourpartner in all things, that's

(42:55):
just.
I mean, like everything startswith everything starts with
communication and it starts withstanding for yourself and what
your needs are and what you needout of your relationship.
And so, as women, we give up somuch of ourselves to please
others, when in reality, that'sjust basic codependency and when

(43:18):
we recognize that we must behonest with our needs and when
we are, we're easier to love,not harder to love.
We're easier to love becausethat lover of ours knows what we
want and how to make us happy.
If we don't tell them andthey're guessing they're
treating us the way they want tobe treated, which is like why
are you grabbing my butt all thetime?

(43:39):
Well, because he wants you tograb his package?
Oh, okay, cause grabbing mybutt isn't really doing anything
for me.
Or grabbing my boobs isn'tdoing anything for me.
Like, grabbing my boobs is likea level three type of thing.
It's not where you start with aone, right, let's see but
grabbing his package, you startthere with a guy, that's what he
needs us.
He's like ah, that's what Ineeded.

(43:59):
I needed a hand on my manhammer.
You know they just need that.
They need that to calm down andknow everything's gonna be okay
, they're gonna have a good time.
So that's desire.
Desire goes both ways.
How do you feel about yourself?
Are you desirable and do youdesire your partner?
And if you don't, what's in theway of having it?

Speaker 1 (44:20):
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(44:42):
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Water is much like a radioreceiver.
Adjusting the crystallinestructure of the water, it can
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Quantum physics is very clearon the fact that everything in
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Our ability to perceive theinformation coming to us is

(45:04):
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Since 99% of our molecules arewater, our ability to perceive
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(45:27):
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(45:50):
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(46:13):
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Right, that makes a lot of sense.
There's this statistic I cameacross that testosterone levels

(46:38):
have dropped 50% in the last 40years, which is appalling for so
many reasons, even outside ofsex.
I think that kind of gives us asnapshot of what's going on in
terms of overall health in ourlives as well, and how much more

(46:58):
challenging it is to cultivategood health and a good, healthy
sexual health as well.
I think most people know thatnutrition is important.
That's usually kind of astarting place, but the amount
of toxic chemical exposures thatwe're exposed to on a daily

(47:23):
basis, as well as what weinternalize in terms of how our
relational alchemy is creatingchemistry in our bodies as well
as, really Well said, creatingthis environment where we have
to work a lot harder.
Perhaps I know there's thisconcept of regenerative medicine

(47:44):
in sexual health.
Can you tell us a little bitabout things that people can be
doing to kind of stay ahead ofthat curve that we're fighting
against in terms of the toxicload and things that are working
against us?

Speaker 2 (48:00):
Yeah, I wish we had one of those little sound boards
, like they used to have onradio stations, where you could
press that button that soundslike where the Calvary's coming
in to rescue you, dr Ro.

Speaker 1 (48:12):
You know, like that got it.
Maybe we'll add that in.
We'll add that in.

Speaker 2 (48:16):
I need to press that button.
Yeah, sexual regenerativetherapies for the win.
Basically, what happens as weage is that definitely our
hormones diminish and we can useexogenous hormone replacement
therapy, which I do and love, Ilove my.

(48:36):
I would not give up my.
I mean it's like the last thing.
You could take everything awayfrom me except my hormones, Like
I love them so much.
So I really love that.
And then for our genital system.
If you think about it, we'rebasically just big sponges.
We have big sponges between ourlegs and the.
It's easy to see the guy'ssponge.

(48:57):
It looks like a banana stickingout of there, right?
It's all stuck inside his penisas a sponge and actually that's
only half of it.
The other half of his penisgoes in and down toward his
testicle.
So he's got double that amountof erectile tissue.
So if you think, about a banana.
That's how much erectile tissueis in a penis.
Well, we women have the sameamount of erectile tissue as our

(49:18):
men.
So you're thinking about thatbanana?
Yes, wow, think about thatbanana and now make it into a
circle and stick it underneaththe skin of your vulva, around
your vagina.
We have three erectile tissuesystems we have the clitoral, we
have the perineal and we havethe urethral.
So we currently think about theclitoris as this little tiny nub

(49:39):
and we currently think aboutthe G spot as this little spot,
and we don't even know about theperineal sponge.
That's like, invisible to usand in actual fact, the clitoris
being the tip of the iceberg,it has a shaft, it has a tip, a
shaft, just a little mini penis.
We have a little mini penis, wehave.
It has little arms called Chora, little legs called vestibular

(50:02):
bulbs that are draping aroundour labia, that's they're under
our labia.
That's the rest of the clitorisis there, and then the G spot
is actually right in.
If you open your little labia,like their little doors, welcome
to the inter-sanction Sanctumthat's called the vestibule, and

(50:24):
inside the vestibule is thebeginning of our G spot.
It wraps around the exit whereour urine comes out, like a
little rosebud and it goes inand up toward our bladder and
you can also access it insidethe vagina, on the roof of the
vagina.
And then inside the vagina onthe floor of the vagina is our
perineal sponge.
So literally one of the reasonsit's actually super easy to

(50:48):
cross the gasm chasm when youget enough blood flow.
That's what you need.
You need 20 good minutes ofloving foreplay turn on
adoration, words ofencouragement, yoni, massaging,
spandora, gasm using vibrators,whatever you want to do to get
it all going.
And that gives us our bloodflow in.
But what happens as we age isthat tissue starts to atrophy,

(51:14):
like wrinkles on your face.
It's similar to your vulva andpenis.
It's shrinking.
Everything is collapsing.
There's less collagen, there'sless innervation, there's less
blood flow, there's lesseverything.
We're receding as we age and sothat attacks our genitals as
well.
The aging does with atrophy,which means that we have loss of

(51:35):
lubrication, we have loss oforgasmic response.
Literally, orgasms don't feel asgood as they used to without
using these sexual regenerativetherapies.
So for women, we haveincontinence.
Men have nighttime urination,issues from prostate enlargement
.
They have delayed ejaculation.
They have to pump away with waymore friction than should be

(51:56):
necessary, squeezing andstroking really hard because
they can't quite get there.
We can't quite get there.
It takes us forever to get toour climax.
It's like we're almost there,almost there, almost there,
almost there, we can't get there.
Instead of being thismulti-orgasmic fiend where we're
just coming and coming andcoming, which is what we can be,
and then we have painfulintercourse because our partners

(52:19):
are watching porn and theythink intercourse is like they
think we have an inside outpenis, inside us, a sheath, and
we really don't.
They think about it as like abirth canal, but it's not.
It's like a little pocket, it'slike a little stretchy pocket
muscle, and so they're justgoing ee-er, ee-er, ee-er, and
they're just wearing out oursphincter muscle.

(52:39):
They're just wearing us out.

Speaker 1 (52:42):
I wish for anybody who's listening to this and
doesn't have the visuals.
If you like, your hand motionswhile we're doing this can see
that, but we'll put this onYouTube too.
So if you want to see the videoversion, we've got that as well
, and I think I need a soundmixer with my own little buttons
Right.
I mean they're in the bedspring.

Speaker 2 (53:00):
Yeah, so you know they need to.
We need to learn moreintercourse techniques too.
One of the things that I'vedone is I've done a series of
explaining different ways tohave intercourse that are very
pleasurable for her and not justgiving him the friction he
needs.
That's at my website,personallifemediacom.

(53:23):
I'll make a note PLM OK,personalifemediacom.
If you go to mypersonalifemedia and you just
type in intercourse, you'll comeup with all of those
intercourse techniques.
That's a great thing to startwith.
It's just to try thoseintercourse techniques, because
you probably haven't been get,if you haven't crossed the gasm
chasm or you're not justbasically having orgasms the

(53:46):
whole time, he's penetrating you, which is really what you're
capable of.
It's every single thing is justfeeling incredible, with
engorgement and the right stroketechniques.
That's very important.
That's what women get thinningtissue, and so we want to
thicken the tissue up.
So there's incontinence, lossof blood flow, there's loss of

(54:08):
pelvic musculature, there's adiminishment of orgasmic
capacity.
Oh, and cruelest cut of all,vaginal laxity, because our
vaginas get bigger as the tissueshrinks when our husbands
penises get smaller as theirtissues shrinks.
So then you're losing grip,which is a need for contraction

(54:28):
for orgasm.
So fluffing all that up.
And then our men, their penisesare shrinking, they're having a
harder time orgasming, they'renot staying, they're not getting
very hard, they're not stayingvery hard.
This is what happens to them.
So here's what you do Basically.
Number one bottom line, supergorilla, ninja easy, simple,
simple technique is to take anitric oxide booster.

(54:51):
That's why my other company isa company called the 20.
I can send you some.
It's called the 20 and I make anitric oxide booster from
organic fruit and vegetables,because most nitric oxide
boosters are made from GMO,modified pesticide, laden beets
or corn liquor or what have you.

(55:13):
It's a travesty.
You know what that crap?
We're trying to detox, notretox, right?
So you start with and that I'llgive you the link for that.
I have a special podcast link.
It's it's at by flow.
It's called flow F-L-O-W, byflow, now B-U-I, f-l-o-w-n-o-w,
and I made a note for that one.

(55:35):
So we'll have that in your shownotes Right.
Start there.
Give it to your husband, takeit yourself.
Your vagina is not a gland.
It doesn't self lubricate.
You need blood flow to get wet.
So if you're no longer gettingwet, you can be as turned on as
you want, but if you're not wet,you just don't even feel turned
on.
When you're wet you're like, oh, maybe I should have some sex
today.

(55:55):
This is my so much better to besuper juicy.
And then that's number one.
Number two is I.
For men, the next step up is toget a vacuum erection device, a
penis pump, and as a woman, youwant to support your guy in
pumping his penis a couple timesa week Because what it does is

(56:16):
it draws.
It's a little cylinder, hesticks his penis in and it
suction's onto his body and itdraws blood flow into his penis
to continue to expand andreestablish the blood carrying
capacity of his erectile tissue.
So it helps him regain hisfirmness and hardness and it
reverses the shrinkage.

(56:37):
So I wrote a book called thePump Guide.
It's at pumpingguidecompumpingguidecom, and that
explains it and tells you whatpump I recommend.
Because there is a bunch of crapon the market.
You need a good if they're notexpensive they're like 200 bucks

(56:58):
and to have a nice hard penisthe rest of your life for $200,
that pump lasts forever.
It's like a metal hand pump.
I mean, it's so easy.
And when you support your manand be like I want you to pump,
I want you to do that a coupletimes a week and then when you
start to see how nice his penisgets, it's amazing.
What do you?

Speaker 1 (57:17):
say to people who hear this sort of thing and
think that sex and sexual healthis just supposed to be this
thing that stays naturallyhealthy for your whole life, and
this sounds like somethingweird to do.
I mean, if you've never heardof it before, I'm not going to
lie it sounds a little bit weird.
Like how do people get over themental hurdle of there are

(57:40):
greater things that need to bedone to continue to help that be
a healthy part of your life?

Speaker 2 (57:47):
Well, we don't use sticks to brush our teeth
anymore.
We use oral irrigators andelectronic toothbrushes and
bleach, tooth bleach and all ofthose things.
We've had all of our fillingstaken out and replaced with
non-metal and we've had ourcrowns replaced with porcelain

(58:08):
instead of metal.
That's just your teeth Look atall the things we do with our
teeth To keep our teeth, ourchopper's, good for our whole
life.
Why would you not want to keepyour penis and vulva good for
your whole?

Speaker 1 (58:18):
life.

Speaker 2 (58:19):
We live in the 21st century.
Get with the program If youwant to have optimal health.
I'm telling you the simplethings for optimal genital
health.
So it's not weird at all.
It's simply a device that takescare of the problems that you
get, and it's pleasurable too,which is nice.
So penis pump for a guy, andthen I like something called the

(58:40):
V fit for women.
It's at vaginadevicecom andit's red light therapy inside
the vagina with warmth andvibration that does kegel toning
and tightening andrecollegination of the vaginal
mucosa.
Those two things work reallygood.
So vaginadevicecom.
And then you go up from there toGaines Wave and Femi Wave and

(59:03):
those are treatments that you goto get and they are a acoustic
wave technology and by the timeyou're in your 60s and even in
your 50s, depending on yourhealth and lifestyle in the past
, because shit catches up to you.
I can't tell you how manypeople have come to me and they
have these problems and I'm likeman, you're pretty bad off.

(59:24):
What's been happening?
It's like, well, I was a reallyheavy drinker in my youth and
it's like that ruins your healthand the future.
That's a huge one.

Speaker 1 (59:33):
That is a huge one.

Speaker 2 (59:34):
People drink a lot.
I'm constantly now worryingabout my drinking and I'm
minimizing it and I'm trying to.
You know, no drinks unless I'mwith friends or socializing or
I'm having like a steak dinneror whatever.
Like I'm just like reallycareful with that stuff.

Speaker 1 (59:50):
Well, and you touched on brain health earlier too,
and I don't know if you followedDr Eamon.
He's got great stuff on brainhealth and he has posted so much
, especially recently, on whatalcohol and marijuana do to your
brain, as well as thecarcinogenic effects of alcohol,
which I don't think most peoplerealize when they're picking up

(01:00:13):
a drink.

Speaker 2 (01:00:14):
Exactly I know, it's don't let things own you, you
own them.
And it's not easy, they areaddictive.
So Gaines Wave and Femi Wavejust to finish it off are these
treatments that use acousticwave.
They're applied externally tothe body, to the penis and to
the vulva, and one of the thingsthat I love about the Gaines

(01:00:35):
Wave is that you go in for yoursix treatments.
You space it like two a weekfor three weeks, kind of thing,
or once a week for six weeks.
You can go to gainswavecomthat's where you go to find out
if you have a provider in yourarea, femiwavecom and that
acoustic wave is a regenerativetreatment that stimulates new
tissue growth, increases thepenile volume and it knocks the

(01:01:00):
plaque off the penile arterieswhich is holding you from
getting the blood flow into thepenis.
And unless you have really badheart disease or diabetes which
ruin erectile function, gainesWave tends to be able to reverse
.
It's kind of like a faceliftfor your dick.
Really, it is like that.

(01:01:21):
It's all great to go in and getlasering done on your face and
do your IPLs and get yourfacials and blah, blah, blah
Even your PRP facials and stuff,but ain't nothing Like going to
a surgeon and having him liftyour face and sew it back on,
but you don't have.
There's no surgery with Gaines.

Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
Wave and.

Speaker 2 (01:01:40):
Femiwave.
What I'm saying is it's thateffective compared to everything
else you can do.
It is the king and queen ofkeeping your genitals in great
working order.
I recently had Femiwaves doneand I at 61, am literally more
lubricated and wetter than I waseven in my 20s.

(01:02:02):
It's unbelievable.
And though how lubricated youare isn't correlated to how
aroused you are, when you arelubricated it makes you more
aroused, and I'm having sexwithout lube right now.
It's unbelievable, and Icouldn't do that.
My entire 50s.
I had to have lube every singletime.

Speaker 1 (01:02:22):
I want to share this story real quick because I
remember seeing an interviewthat Matt Lauer did of Miley
Cyrus many, many years ago and Iremember her saying in this
interview that she thoughteveryone over the age of 40 was
sexually dead.
That's so funny and I justthought I was a silly girl.

Speaker 2 (01:02:43):
Exactly no, our sexuality is a lifelong gift up
there in the pantheon, with thelove of family and friends, our
art and beauty and spiritualityand dance and music and the
things that make life worthliving, those beautiful things.
Yeah, so Gainesway and Femiwave, really, really, if you try the

(01:03:05):
vagina device, you try the pump, it's called the Whopper and
those are getting you where youwant to go?

Speaker 1 (01:03:11):
It's called the Whopper.

Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
It's called the Whopper, because guys listen.
You know how women are like youcan never be too rich and too
thin.
Guys are like you can neverhave a penis that's too big, so
when it starts to shrink they'resuper bummed out.
And so getting them back to andeven going bigger than they used
to be.
If they keep pumping they canactually increase their size.
And for a lot of women they'relike yeah, you know, I'm about

(01:03:33):
five inches, I wouldn't mind six, or he's six inches, I wouldn't
mind seven.
I mean, you know, we like anice tight fit.
So reversing it and even takingit to the next, I kind of think
about it going from sexualregenerative therapies so flow,
the vagina device, the Whopper,the Femiwave, the Gaineswave,

(01:03:54):
that's the stack, the biohackingstack, right, ok, but really
what you're doing is you caneven go beyond how you used to
be.
Now, more lubricated, myclitoris is even bigger than
it's ever been, and size mattersfor women too.
I mean, when we atrophy and ourclitoris recedes into our body,
it just doesn't get so full ofblood when it's really nice and

(01:04:16):
full of blood from all thesetreatments.
And, by the way, here's adisgusting thing.
I hate this, but I have thesolution, so I don't feel bad
telling you about it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:26):
I'm not going to make you miserable without making
you happy afterwards.

Speaker 2 (01:04:29):
Yeah, yeah yeah, when you get old, as a woman, your
outer labia begin to sag andthey look like old man balls.
Oh my god.
You look down.
You're like Jesus.
Is that a scrotum down there?
It's so bad.
But the Femiwave pops it rightback up again.
That's why the V-Fit is good.

(01:04:50):
The vagina device is reallygood, but the Femiwave is even
better because all of a suddenyou've got this plump, juicy,
fountain-less, luscious vulva.
It's so pretty and it's plumpand you don't have any sagging
man balls down there.
So, oh god, it's hard to get old, but not impossible, because

(01:05:14):
you can reverse all these things.
I am like a massive bio.
I love regenerative therapy.
I'm like coursing with PRPright now.
I do PRP facelifts, I do PRPhair lifts, I do PRP in my
clitoris, my husband does theP-Shot in his penis.
We do all that stuff and canyou explain what?
PRP is real quick.
Yeah, prp is called plateletrich plasma and that's kind of

(01:05:39):
the cherry on the sundae.
So if we talk about, the icecream is taking flow and getting
your blood flowing again, andthen the second scoop of ice
cream is your vagina device andyour whopper, and then the
whipped cream is your Gaineswaveand your FemiWave, and then the
cherry on top is add in somePRP.

(01:06:01):
It's like a booster, it's likea little accelerator,
turbocharger, where they take avial or two of your own blood
from your body, they put it in acentrifuge.
You can get this from theFemiWave and Gaineswave
providers.
They do this is what theyalways do and they spin your
blood and they take off thewhite and red blood cells and
you're left with somethingcalled a fibrin rich matrix of

(01:06:23):
platelet rich plasma PRP andthey take it and put it in a
little tiny, tiny, tiny littlesyringe.
They put lidocaine on yourvulva and then they inject it
into your clitoral structure andinto your urethral structure,
your G-spot area and intoanything else that hurts, like
though I had a cesarean sectionsomewhere along the line.

(01:06:44):
I had torn my vaginal sphincter.
The opening to my vagina hadthis little spot that was always
a little sensitive and I've hadPRP right in that spot and it
solved the problem.
I also had on my mons thislittle like divot, where I must
have hit it on something, had anaccident of some kind, or I had
a genetic anomaly right in thetop of my mons but always needed

(01:07:08):
.
My husband always needs to rubit before we make love.
I like a vulva massage beforewe make love to help me get
engorged, and he always has tolike rub his thumb over that
spot and really get it softened.
It kind of has this weird likekink in it and he's been doing

(01:07:28):
that for 20 years for me andI've been having PRP injected
right into that and it's gottenso much better it hardly hurts
at all anymore.
So we women, we have a PseotomyPseotomy's from birth, we have
wounds, we have all kinds ofthings that need incontinence,
that need extra bolstering, andthe PRP, when it's injected into

(01:07:49):
specific location, it actuallyregenerates new tissue right in
that area and repairs old wounds, in addition to plumping up the
whole tissue and improving it.
So when you do the FemiWave andyou have the addition of the,
it's called an O-Shot or orgasmshot.

(01:08:09):
That's kind of the brandedversion, but you can just ask
for PRP when you have that inaddition to the FemiWave.
They're so synergistic becausethe waves are doing some tiny
little micro damage that'scalling to your body to heal it
and make it young again, andthen the PRP is like adding a

(01:08:30):
little bit more of what yourbody sends to the area to even
make that happen better.
So they're very, verysynergistic and that's kind of
the whole, the whole stack forregenerative and biohacking.

Speaker 1 (01:08:44):
Okay, okay, that's fascinating Cool right.

Speaker 2 (01:08:47):
It's amazing how much there is that you can do.

Speaker 1 (01:08:49):
Oh yeah, totally, totally.
I think that is great advicefor people who are moving into
their 40s, 50s and 60s andbeyond.
I did wanna leave a little bitfor our younger audience,
because I feel like women likeyourself and I have a lot of

(01:09:09):
wisdom to lend to the youngergenerations.
Can you talk a little bit abouthormonal birth control, because
I like to talk about it asbeing chemical castration that's
what I prefer to call it.

Speaker 2 (01:09:23):
Yeah for sure.
Yeah, I have a 25 year olddaughter and she's just the most
beautiful, kind, lovely girland a woman, young woman.
And when she was younger I saidshe said I wanna go on birth
control, I wanna get the pill,and I was like I don't want you
to, babe.
I just think it's a really badidea.

(01:09:45):
It's going to mess up your ownhormones.
It's going to.
It has all kinds of downstreameffects In the long run.
I ended up having to get mygallbladder out because I had
calcium stones, which mygallbladder doctor I think they
have a name Colis Colis,something or other he was like
yeah, this is what we see inwomen that have taken the pill

(01:10:06):
for many years is that it's notreversible.
I can't fix your gallbladder, Ihave to take it out.
Now I have fat emulsion issues,you know, for the rest of my
life.
I mean you need your organs.
So it makes you pick partnersthat don't appeal to you.
Ultimately it messes up yourown cycle.
It's just, it's a panacea.

(01:10:27):
That's too good to be true.
I don't recommend it at all.
What I recommend are two thingsfor contraceptives.
The first I recommend is a likea basal metabolic, not a basal
metabolic.
A basal temperature trackerlike the Daisy is a really good
one, daysy, and they call itfertility awareness.

(01:10:48):
They make it quote unquote foryou to tell when you're in your
fertile window so you canconceive.
But when you're in your fertilewindow you can conceive.
So that's when you abstain fromejaculatory intercourse.
You know you have oral pleasureor you use your toys and do
mutual masturbation or you weara condom or a diaphragm or both.

(01:11:09):
And so they're marketing asfertility awareness.
But that's because it's easierthan marketing contraception,
because there are people who areagainst contraception.
So it's just a marketing thing.
Those fertility trackers, theywork on a mobile device.
They get a little thermometer,it sends a Bluetooth signal.
It does crowdsourcing of yourfertility against all of the

(01:11:32):
other people who are on thedevice, which is thousands, if
not probably a million by now.
So it's very good at predictingwhen you could get pregnant, so
you can manage to that.
And then the second thing that Irecommend is a non-medicated
IUD intrauterine device and anIUD.
That's what I have my daughterdo and she's been super happy

(01:11:52):
with it.
It's a little copper coil thatgoes up inside the uterus and
kind of tricks the uterus intothinking that it's getting
pregnant.
So you still have your period,everything's normal, but you
can't conceive because there'salready something in there.
It's more of like a mechanical,physical device than the
temperature collection and it'sbomb proof, like you don't even

(01:12:17):
have to worry whether you're inyour estrous cycle or not
because it's gonna work.
So and I told her so don't tellany of your partners that you
have it.
It's none of their business.
You're allowed to keep yourfertility management systems to
yourself and make them wearcondoms unless they're going to
screen in.
Get all their STI tests and becompletely committed and

(01:12:39):
monogamous with you.
Then you can rely on the IUD,but before that, guys pass STIs
like crazy.
They can't help it.
They're just not as cautious aswomen and they don't bear such
a big burden of it.
So that's the other thing thatI like to tell young women is
have a lot of great sex, have alot of partners, but make them

(01:13:02):
get tested before you haveunprotected sex Because,
honestly, most STIs and there'sover 20 STIs, most STIs are skin
to skin contact and they jumpthe condom Like the condom
really doesn't contain a lot ofSTIs.
So you really wanna be withpeople who are testing regularly

(01:13:23):
, and if you're going to havesex with them, do that.
And then what I also recommendlast thing for young women is
all women really is because Irecommend having a lot of
partners so you have experience,so you have fun, so you're more
body comfortable, so you gainexperience.
You just have a lot of wisdomfrom having partners.

(01:13:44):
There's nothing wrong with itif that's what you wanna do and
if it's not, don't do it.
But if you do, then the otherpiece of it is that you need to
go get tested very frequentlyand you can have two levels of
sex.
In your mind you can thinkthere's level A and level B.
Level A is super safe, which isyou can kiss them, you can put

(01:14:08):
your hands on their genitals,they can put their hands on your
genitals.
But no mouth to genital orgenital to genital contact
without STI tests would be thebest, or at least minimum a
condom and dental dam right orsaran wrap.

(01:14:29):
So a lot of women are afraid tostand for their own safety
around that.
I mean gen women are afraid tospeak up.
We must speak up because whoknows what the long-term
downstream effects are ofanything you get HPV, it can
give you throat cancer anduterus cancer.

(01:14:50):
I mean you don't wanna get thatHerpes?
I mean I don't think you shouldif a person knows they have
herpes and they know when theyget herpes or that's, you don't
worry about it.
I mean if you know you're notgonna give it.
I mean I've had herpes since Imet my husband and he's never
gotten them all these yearsbecause if I have an outbreak I
abstain.
So abstain if you have that.

(01:15:13):
But chlamydia, gonorrhea,trichinomyosis, syphilis, hiv,
hep C get them tested for hep C.
You never know where there's anintravenous drug user in your
past.
I mean people get that hep Cstuff.
People that work in medicalsystems get it.
I mean you have to be careful.
So and I like a company calledstdtestscom you can order a full

(01:15:37):
panel.
It's very quick and it's veryinexpensive.
And planned parenthood theywill give you free STI testing
if you can't afford it.
So there's almost always aplanned parenthood in every
major market.
So these are the things thatwhen you begin to get, practice
makes perfect the first time youhave your talks with your

(01:15:58):
partner, you know like, hey, I'minterested in going further
than just hands and kissing, butI need you to get STI tests and
this is what I want you to gettested for, and I'll get tested
too.
Or I just had tests and Ihaven't been with anybody, but I
need you to.
When you do that and you actlike a grown ass person, then
they step up and act like agrown ass person and you're

(01:16:18):
doing good.
It's karma.
You're doing good for humanityby training people to have
standards.
So getting shit-faced andhaving unprotected sex is a
really bad idea all the time.
You need to keep your witsabout you and be mature in your
approach to expanding yoursexuality.

(01:16:39):
And if someone can't wait tohave sex with you and they're
willing to put you at risk, youdon't wanna have sex with them
anyway, screw them get them tothe curb, move on.
You can get laid from a millionpeople, so it's not worth it.
Just be more choosy and carefulwith your body, protect
yourself and stand for yoursafety.

Speaker 1 (01:16:58):
Yeah, and I do think there's.
You know, we mentioned quantum,the quantum realm of things,
earlier.
I do think there is a energeticand emotional components, you
know, when we're talking aboutthe mind-body space of the
expression of diseases.
And I do think that when peopleare not protecting themselves
emotionally and energetically,they are more susceptible to

(01:17:20):
those sorts of things.
Well said 100%.

Speaker 2 (01:17:25):
Yeah, so for you give such good advice and you have
such a kind heart.
Thank you, and you're sonurturing.

Speaker 1 (01:17:32):
Thank you thank you.
Yeah, no, I appreciate all ofthe information you provided.
We will probably have to haveyou back on again so that we can
expand a little bit more on afew of these topics and go a
little bit deeper, but it hasbeen such a pleasure having you
on.
I will include all of the linksthat you mentioned, and probably

(01:17:54):
a few more in our show notes sothat our listeners can very
easily access some of thoseresources.
But, in conclusion, is thereanything that we didn't really
hit on during our conversationthus far that you think is
really important that ourlisteners should know about?

Speaker 2 (01:18:12):
One of the things I can do is I can Betterlovercom,
which is my video website,betterlovercom.

Speaker 1 (01:18:18):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:18:19):
There's, and there's a search box at the top how to
have a safe sex talk, when tohave a safe sex talk, what STI
tests to get.
It's all right there, andthere's notes under each video,
so if you don't even want towatch the video, you just want
to get the info, it's there.
So that's super helpful.
And there's even a little thingyou can print out and stick in
your purse or your wallet so youhave the list.

(01:18:40):
So it makes it really easy.
That was one last thing, andthen follow me on Instagram.

Speaker 1 (01:18:44):
You can just slip it out and read it when you've got.

Speaker 2 (01:18:47):
Yeah, just Could you stop For a minute we've got to
check these boxes off first.
Yeah, that's right.
That's what you need to do.
That's how you stand for yourown safety.
Yeah, absolutely.
Follow me on Instagram at SusanBratton.
I'd love to come back and talkmore about actual like
love-making techniques.

(01:19:07):
Some of the things that I'velearned that I recommend for
people to have more pleasure inconnection you know now that
they're like okay, all right, wemade it through the first Susan
Bratton episode.
I'll take a little more.

Speaker 1 (01:19:19):
I will take yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:19:21):
I always joke, Jen, that if sex were a brand, it's
tagline it would be sex.
There's always something morethat's true, that's true.

Speaker 1 (01:19:32):
You know I like to I joke, but not really that.
I think most people haveexperienced maybe 5% of their
sexual potential and there'sthis whole other 95% that most
people don't even know is apossibility, in part because
we've, you know, back to theporn thing, we've been
culturally conditioned to, youknow, think about sex in this

(01:19:53):
tiny little box of you know.
These are the possibilitieswhen in fact you know,
especially going back to thatenergetic realm of things, there
is this whole other realm ofpossibility that most people are
not even aware is possible.

Speaker 2 (01:20:07):
Yeah, I know All the tantric bliss in the world just
developing your body like honeyand resonating and allowing you
to touch source.
You know Like, oh, that I love.

Speaker 1 (01:20:20):
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Well, thank you so much.
All right to be continueddarling yes that's wonderful.
You have a great time.

Speaker 2 (01:20:26):
I've thoroughly enjoyed being with you.
Thank you for having me.
I did as well.
Thank you for your intrepidwillingness to help people have
more pleasure in connection.

Speaker 1 (01:20:37):
Hey, wait, whatever it takes, whatever it takes.
So, thank you so much, susan,thank you.