May 14, 2024 • 27 mins
Where to find Aimee:
- Instagram: @vibrancenutrition
- Nutrition Coaching: vibrancenutrition.com
- Podcast on Nutrition: Blasphemous Nutrition
- Substack on Nomadic Life: NomadicNomMom
Where to find Rebecca:
- Instagram and her life in Paris: @beseriouslyhappy
- Podcast for Interior Design-preneurs: Stuff Interior Designers Need to Know
- Biz Coaching for Interior Designers: seriouslyhappy.com
- Book on Interior Design Psychology: Happy Starts at Home
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Welcome to Bonjola, a podcastabout two women, Aimee and
Rebecca, who each moved from theUnited States to Europe to
become expats, Aimee to Spainand Rebecca to France.
We're here to share the highs,the lows, and the logistics of
this adventure, encourage you tofollow your own move abroad
dreams, and remind you thatyou're not alone when the going
gets tough.
Enjoy.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03- (00:24):
Bonjour, Rebecca.
Track 1 (00:26):
Banjola, Aimee.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2 (00:27):
What is new and good in your world?
Excellent.
Track 1 (00:32):
and good?
Well, we are just barely a monthliving here in Paris and my
husband starts school onTuesday, four days from now.
So that's when the new properroutine and adventure starts.
The whole point of moving here.
And we've already chosen ournext apartment.
(00:52):
So we're in this one for sixmonths, but we now know where
we'll be living for thefollowing three months.
So that has informed somechoices we're making while
living here as well.
So that's what's, that's what'snew.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-20 (01:05):
Uh, before we talk about the
housing, I'm super curious.
Are you going to beparticipating in Damien's new
morning routine?
Because I saw that video onInstagram.
You did not look happy to havemade it to the school by 7 30 in
the morning.
Track 1 (01:25):
Well, yeah, we are now getting up at 5 a.
m.
Um, I was, I was still a littlesleepy in that video, but
actually no, I don't mind it atall.
The challenge is, and I know youunderstand this, my work hours
go into the evening till aboutseven, and then we have dinner,
(01:46):
and then, you know, maybe we'llgo for a walk, and so our day
ends around ten or eleven, andI'm the kind of girl who Wants
slash needs eight to nine hoursof sleep a night.
And because of math, that's aproblem.
If you're getting up at 5 AM.
Um, yeah, I do want to though,when we made the decision to
(02:07):
move here, I was really hoping,that I would get to walk him to
school and then I could go offand do my work.
And then after that, um, Hewould come home and then we'd
have our evenings, but it's beena bunch of wondering because we
didn't have his school scheduleuntil last week.
And it's all over the place.
(02:27):
So some days he starts at 7 30in the morning.
Some days he starts at 11 AM,but we'll go into the evenings.
There's some Saturdays causeit's, The restaurant industry.
And I figured that would betrue.
So that means that yes, we willhave some early morning routines
if I survive.
And there will also be days whenwe can take it a little bit more
chill, which is nice,
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2 (02:49):
That is nice.
I'm glad it's not 7 a.
m.
six days a week, particularlywith your U.
S.
work schedule.
Track 1 (02:57):
but I have to say that the commute, I mean, we
literally walk across the Senstare at the Eiffel tower in
pink tinge skies with birdsongfilling the air.
I mean, I'm not exactlycomplaining.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2 (03:13):
That sounds, that sounds like it
would be worth getting up for.
Track 1 (03:16):
It really is.
You know, so right now I have toget used to the new timing and I
need to get myself to bed alittle bit earlier and it will
be well worth it.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03- (03:27):
Amazing.
So where are you moving next?
How does this impact whereyou're living now?
Give me, give me the housingscoop.
Track 1 (03:38):
So the apartment where we live now is about a 45 minute
walk to Damien's school.
It's in a city called BoulogneBianco.
It's a mouthful and, um, it'snot in Paris.
So it's just like if you're inSeattle, if you live in
Shoreline or Edmonds or WestSeattle, you don't technically
live in Seattle, but you can seeit.
(03:59):
It's right there.
Okay.
So that's where our current homeis with that 45 minute walk.
And then the new home will be a20 minute walk and properly in
the 15th arrondissement.
So that's one big change.
The cool changes are that thenext place is decorated.
(04:22):
It's not just decorated.
It has a bathtub.
It has a terrace.
It has air conditioning and ithas heated floors.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28- (04:30):
What?
Track 1 (04:31):
It's no bigger than our current apartment.
It's still a tiny postage stamp.
Um, oh, but it's two levels witha spiral staircase.
So it's just this little jewelbox.
And so here, where we are rightnow, it's, it's clean, it's
bright.
The view is amazing.
But it's fairly, fairly sparelydecorated.
(04:53):
And we were thinking aboutgetting a rug, which has had its
own adventures of us trying tofind these resources, but we
have since, I know we've talkedabout the mail in the past on
our podcast.
We have since successfullygotten mail, which includes two
yoga mats from Amazon.
So now we're not needing the rugfor comfort purposes for our
(05:15):
morning routine.
And since the next place will beso decorated, I'm like, you know
what?
I think I'm fine.
So it's changed because, I mean,we're living in these temporary
situations, three to six monthsat a time.
And while I want to be happy athome, I also don't want to Make
it really complicated to movefrom place to place to place
(05:36):
either
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28 (05:37):
Right, right.
That's, that feels like thatwould be a significant level up
in making happy, like making ahappy home.
Track 1 (05:50):
in terms of going to the more decorated apartment.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-20 (05:53):
No, in terms of leveling up your
skills, right, of making yourhome your happy place when
you're not.
Getting these curated items whenyou're not nesting in the way
that we've all been raised tonest in our consumerist culture,
how
Track 1 (06:11):
and
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2 (06:11):
that work?
Track 1 (06:12):
yeah, cause for the listeners who don't know, I
spent the last 15 years.
As an interior designer, thatwas my entire job.
And before that, growing up inthe military, my parents were
the kinds of people who unpackedwithin two weeks and everything
was all appointed and it's allof our, you know, family
mementos.
So this is a really differentexperience for me.
(06:35):
And it's funny because.
Years ago, I was on a episodeof, um, the podcast, bittersweet
life, which is an expat podcast,and they were asking me, you
know, some ideas and tips forhow you make a temporary home
feel like a home.
I'm really excited to go backand listen to it and see what I
said.
Because I.
(06:57):
What I have discovered is themost important part of making
this home my home was just inscrubbing it like clearing out
the old almost energy of the, ofthe other occupants and because
I'm living in Paris andeverything is so tiny, my home
(07:18):
Is more than just the stamp thatlike the literal footprint of my
apartment, the markets, thecheese shops, the cafes, the
third places are a much moreimportant part of quote home
here.
And I don't know if this is cityliving or if it's Paris living
or if it's expat living, it'sprobably a combination of all of
(07:41):
those things.
So being happy at home is.
Ever, it's just as much asimportant as it always has been
to me,
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2 (07:50):
Yes, of course.
Track 1 (07:52):
but I'm finding that a single fluffy blanket, having
the cat here, having it cleanand everything tidy is much more
important than the color of thesofa or whatever.
It's been really revealing andreally good for me.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28- (08:13):
Yeah, yeah, it's, yeah, when I say
level up, I'm like leveling upyour skills at discovering how
to make home in this situationwith all of these different
experiences that you've neverhad before.
Track 1 (08:29):
Yeah.
And on top of that, it is, it isliterally different living in
Europe and trying to doremodeling and decorating kinds
of things in the States.
We are overwhelmed with theamount of choice we have.
You don't like this store.
Don't worry.
There's.
3, 000 other ones that sellsimilar yet different things.
(08:52):
And, you know, just the otherday I was on an expat group and
somebody was saying, where can Ifind a sofa that isn't an eight
week lead time, which is a thingin the States too, because
you've got your ready made quickpurchases.
And then you've got your, I'llwait eight weeks to eight months
for things purchases.
But I'm noticing that there'ssimply are fewer.
(09:13):
Stores here, there are feweroptions.
And I think it's the culturething.
They don't need all the choicesbecause that's not where their
priority lies.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28- (09:25):
Yeah, I couldn't help but notice you
said that's where their prioritylies as though there is only one
priority and not priorities,which was a conversation my
husband and I had last nightregarding the book essentialism,
Track 1 (09:43):
One of my favorites.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2 (09:45):
Yes, yes.
And he, I know when he listensto this, he's going to bust out
laughing because he told me thatlast night.
He was like, you know, thisthing that I keep thinking about
that I keep remembering from thebook essentialism.
And then he told me, you know,there is no such thing as
priorities.
There's only a priority.
And, you know, my brain broke alittle bit because, Oh, that's
(10:09):
right.
That is how it used to be.
What the heck are we doing toourselves?
So.
I love that you just said that.
It is not a French priority tohave unlimited choices.
Track 1 (10:26):
it isn't, and it isn't a French priority to have your
home be perfect.
That isn't a mark of homesuccess as far as I can tell.
Yeah.
That book, I remember when Ifirst read it and I was reading
it from a business perspective.
And for anybody who hasn't readit, one of the big graphics in
(10:47):
this book is a circle.
And then it has arrows comingout, radiating out from the
circle.
And those arrows represent allthe things you're trying to do.
And so I sat down and I did itfor my, all of my work goals and
priorities.
There must've been 30 arrows.
Did you not?
(11:08):
And I'm like, Oh.
This might be why I'm tiredsince then, because I've been
practicing from this book for along time.
At this point, I've started toactually flip that graphic.
So if the circle becomes you,then the arrows can point in,
(11:28):
what are we feeding into ourlives?
What are we allowing into ourlives?
Because so much of.
What people do, and especiallywith interior design, it's
shaped by what they think theyshould do or what they think
other people want of them.
and and that's, I'm coming todecide for myself, not a good
(11:52):
decision matrix.
It's sort of like when the mailgets delivered to your home, you
don't even have to let the junkmail in.
You could say, you could stop atthe recycling bin before you
even get in your house and say,none of this garbage has to come
in.
I don't answer my phone.
Pretty much ever.
If, if it's important, they'llleave a voicemail.
(12:12):
And so before I was reallyfocusing on where am I putting
my energy out to, but now thatI'm here, I'm really thinking
more about what am I letting in?
And am I okay with that?
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024 (12:25):
I love that.
I mean, it's very timely becauseI feel, again, for our U.
S.
audience, it's an election year,and there's going to be a lot of
stuff coming at you.
And this is a time when wedefinitely need to be mindful of
what we take in.
Track 1 (12:45):
It's okay.
I have a funny example of that.
So I actually enjoy pretty muchall kinds of music.
Um, including country music,which some people might find
surprising, but right now I havetold Damien that we're not
allowed to play country musicuntil the elections are over,
because for some reason, thatgenre triggers my Democrat
(13:09):
Republican frustrations, andthen I feel angry for no reason.
There's nobody to be mad at.
And so, yeah, it's, it's thesame decision I made when I
said, I can't have packages ofOreos in the house because I
will eat all of them.
We have to make choices aboutwhat's around us.
(13:31):
And if they're making us angryfor no good reason or sabotaging
our healthy habits, we have thepower and choice to say, yeah,
no, I'm not going to let thatin.
And it's really, it isempowering.
I
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-20 (13:47):
it.
is.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
It really is a, it's a small butsignificant way to take your
life back.
Track 1 (13:53):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just like managing your screentime or deciding what will be in
your Instagram feed.
You know, I used to have a lotof interior design in my
Instagram feed for obviousreasons.
And I discovered that itactually made me feel bad, both
about my home and about my workfor my clients, because people
(14:15):
only show the very, very, verybest, right?
They don't show the reality.
And so I said, this isn't goodfor me or my career.
And I unsubscribed to most ofthose feeds.
And now my Instagram feed isalmost entirely things like
fluffy bunnies and choreographeddance routines.
And it is a place of joy and Ilove it.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28 (14:35):
That's fantastic.
So how, how long has it beenuntil you move into your new
place closer to the school?
Track 1 (14:42):
That's still five months away.
Yeah.
We're only one month into thisplace.
There was something, it was allDamien driving it, which is
unusual.
I'm usually the one who's going,where are we going to live?
Where are we going to live?
I think that waiting.
A month to start school fromgetting here.
First of all, it was brilliant.
I mean, we can't imagine havingtried to accomplish all the
(15:05):
bureaucratic stuff we needed todo.
If we'd only shown up a week orsomething before his school
started.
So we're really happy with thechoice, but you know, I got here
and within a week I startedschool.
I mean, excuse me, I startedwork and he's just been waiting.
Right.
So he's in this, liminal inbetween place without an
(15:27):
identity and he's having lovelywalks through Paris, but with no
real purpose.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2 (15:33):
I've been wondering how that has
landed for him because it reallyis probably the first time in
his adult life that he has nothad.
Work that's needed to be done,something that is being demanded
of him.
Track 1 (15:47):
Yeah.
When we, you know, he finishedthe sale of his company just
barely before we actually leftthe States.
And that company was 25%.
Appliance installers, you know,five different trucks going out
every single day, alwayssomebody calling in sick or
something going wrong.
So it's this floor gotscratched.
(16:08):
And, and even if things weren'tgoing wrong as a business owner,
you're always assumed somethingis about to go wrong.
squadcaster-c43e_2_0 (16:15):
Especially if you've got a lot of employees
and a lot of moving parts.
Track 1 (16:19):
And especially if those employees are mostly dudes under
the age of 25.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28- (16:22):
Yeah.
Yeah,
Track 1 (16:24):
So yeah, it's, I think he's enjoying it, but it is
uncomfortable in the wayanything new is.
And he can't just settle into itand just be some sort of like,
Retiree, because school isstarting and it will be 35 plus
hours a week.
And, so, yeah, so I think hejust wanted to make some
(16:48):
decision to have some kind ofcontrol or say, so I was like,
you know, not gonna hurt us.
Let's go ahead and find our nextplace.
And it's nice knowing wherewe're going to live next and
have
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024 (16:57):
I
Track 1 (16:57):
look forward to.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024 (16:59):
I love that you were able to find
a place so far in advance.
That kind of
Track 1 (17:04):
actually.
Airbnb has been our solution forall of these things.
And it's an interesting choicebecause on the face of it, it's
more expensive than getting anapartment straight out.
But number one, it is nigh onimpossible to get somebody to
rent to you when you are aforeigner in Paris.
(17:25):
And that is in large partbecause the rental rules are so
renter friendly that squattingis a big problem.
In Paris,
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-202 (17:34):
We have that problem in Spain, too.
Track 1 (17:37):
secondly, and then, of course, to go with that, you
have to have a bunch of thingslike a bank account, which we
haven't done yet.
2nd is it looks cheaper on thesurface of it, but you're then
responsible for all yourutilities.
And it's funny when you walkaround looking at the places to
rent here, they have thesescales like a through Z, I
(17:58):
guess, of.
Energy efficiency and they'reall like an F I mean, it's
horrible.
They're just bad.
So these places just leakenergy.
So you're responsible for yourutilities, which you have to be
able to get, which is a hardthing as a foreigner, if you can
even get somebody to rent to youin the first place.
And on top of that, moving ismore expensive.
(18:20):
If you're trying to move a bunchof stuff, it's logistically more
challenging and you have to buyall that stuff.
So with Airbnb's.
It's all in one number.
We have a system that we can goto if it all went to heck.
Which is huge
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28 (18:40):
Right.
Track 1 (18:41):
and it's furnished.
So we're not having to gothrough the hassle and challenge
and expense of buying things ina place where we don't even know
where to buy things.
So it's worked great for us.
And we rented this place, Ithink nine months before we came
out.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03- (18:59):
Awesome.
How are you feeling about thenew neighborhood?
Have you, do you, are youfamiliar with the new
neighborhood where you'll bemoving?
Track 1 (19:07):
Oh my gosh.
Okay.
This is actually a funny littlestory.
So yes, it's in the 15th, whichis where his school is.
And we.
When we did our three monthtrial stay here, we spent two
weeks in that neighborhood.
So pretty comfortable with it.
But the, maybe a week after wegot here, this, this time, we
were just wandering around kindof in his school area.
(19:29):
And we came across this buildingthat was.
bananas skinny.
It's so skinny, right?
It's, and that's, I love thisabout Paris.
They just carve out spots, putthings and they fit.
So I remember I, I haven'tposted that yet.
Cause I'm horrible about postingon Instagram, but I filmed it.
(19:50):
Cause I'm like, look how skinnythis building is.
Fast forward to last week.
And we've discovered that theAirbnb was in that skinny
building.
And
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024 (20:00):
I love
Track 1 (20:01):
gotta be a sign.
This has gotta be Kismet.
And we actually applied for adifferent one first with an
unresponsive landlord.
And I was so happy when it fellthrough, because this one's a
little bit more money than theone we first applied for.
And I was like, it's meant tobe, I'm supposed to be in this
place.
It's not as walkable aneighborhood as we're in right
(20:23):
now.
It's a little bit more trafficy, but I mean, between the fact
that it's this So weird skinnybuilding.
It's up on, I don't know, fifthor sixth floor.
So the views will still be niceand expansive and the terrace
and all the other things Imentioned earlier, I'll give up
some walkability.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-202 (20:43):
Do you have a lift?
Is there an elevator?
Track 1 (20:46):
I want to say there is, but we're not that worried about
it here.
We're on the seventh floor and Iam proud to say that with rare
exception, we take the stairs.
Even when we forget something,we climb the stairs.
If we forget something a secondtime, we take the elevator.
(21:08):
Um, yeah, I got, I got stronglittle butt muscles at this
point.
Tell you what those stairs.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03- (21:13):
European Living will do that too.
Track 1 (21:16):
Yeah.
Even my rings are a little bitloose now.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2 (21:19):
Wow.
Track 1 (21:20):
I know.
And I'm just, I want to, I don'twant to change anything.
Even my clothes are.
And I don't want to like go buynew stuff yet because I don't
know if this is the new normal,or if this is just me kind of my
body going, Whoa, that's a lotof walking.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28- (21:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Track 1 (21:39):
Yeah.
Damien's actually said, youknow, you don't need to lose any
more weight.
And I'm like, I'm not trying to,it's just that the food here is
so dang healthy.
I've eaten sugar and sugarythings maybe three times in the
last month.
That's crazy compared to myAmerican lifestyle.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-20 (22:00):
You know, that's, the thing is, is
that I don't think, I, Iencourage you to hold that
perspective, but that, you know,it's just so easy to eat healthy
in France, but my child had noproblems finding pain au
chocolat any time he wanted oneor getting, you know, pastries
(22:22):
or sweet things in
Track 1 (22:24):
It's all very available in all the American snacks are
available to the differences.
You have to go get them.
like, Damien, I noticed theother day when we were walking
through the metro where there'sall these advertisements on the
walls, big posters.
They're all, pretty much all,for things to do.
Cultural events, and museumthings, and music things.
(22:48):
And then there's some grocerystore advertising, but the food
advertising simply doesn't existhere.
When I go, when I drive down thestreet in America, First, I
crave McDonald's, then I craveBurger King, then I crave Jack
in the Box.
It just depends on what I'mdriving past.
Here, I can walk past aMcDonald's and not even realize
(23:08):
I'm walking past a McDonald's.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28- (23:11):
Well, the signage is so subtle.
Track 1 (23:13):
It is, and it makes a profound difference because all
marketing is psychological.
It's planting an idea in yourmind, which then makes you
literally physically salivateAnd now your body legitimately
wants to eat food that it didn'tneed before you saw that
advertisement.
(23:33):
So yes, all of it's here.
I'm lucky because I'm not reallya big fan of French, French
pastries, so that helps.
But the, between all of that andthe fact that French people do
not walk around eating.
If you see somebody walking onthe street while eating, and
(23:54):
it's not just the nubbin of abaguette.
They are not French.
So, and I care about fitting into a culture.
So I'm not between mealssnacking and it's, so it's not
any one of these ingredients,just like an apple is more than
more than the sum of its parts.
It's.
All of it.
(24:15):
It's walking up the stairs.
It's not having the foodadvertising.
It's having a culture of notsnacking between meals.
And on top of all of that, theactual food is freaking
delicious.
I eat a hard boiled egg at arestaurant and I'm swooning.
(24:36):
Like, what is that?
Yeah.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2 (24:42):
It's amazing when there's like more
nutrients in the food, like youcellularly know and respond to
it.
Track 1 (24:53):
I don't know if the egg yolks here are more nutritious
because I'm not you and I don'thave your job, but they are so
yellow.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28- (25:02):
Yeah.
They're macaroni and cheeseyellow.
It's amazing.
They glow.
It's beautiful.
It's beautiful.
And yes, that is, that's a signof much higher carotenoid
levels.
It is very much a different egg.
It tastes different.
It's,
Track 1 (25:21):
Fabulous.
squadcaster-c43e_2_0 (25:22):
different.
Yeah.
Yep.
Track 1 (25:24):
And I would say, you know, I had done a lot of work
with you on my eating habitsback in America.
If I hadn't already done a lotof that work, I think this would
be a lot harder because I wasn'tcoming off of a big, like I did
sugar load right at the end justbecause I'm like, I'm never
going to see Reese's again.
So was shoving my face full ofall of it.
(25:45):
Not really enjoying it, but justkind of the.
I may never get this againthing,
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-20 (25:51):
The FOMO is so real.
Track 1 (25:54):
because I'd already eased my body into the idea that
real food is what I wanted to beeating, I think that it was an
easier transition as well.
I'm
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28- (26:03):
Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
Is there anything that you wantto leave our listeners with
today?
Track 1 (26:14):
going to leave, uh, I'm going to leave our listeners
with a book recommendation.
There is a classic book outthere called French Women Don't
Get Fat.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-202 (26:23):
Oh yeah, I remember that one.
Track 1 (26:24):
And so that one plus bringing up bébé, I read both of
them from a kind of ananthropological view.
I was trying to going, you know,what do they have to say about
this?
And I did find a lot of helpfulgems in there as I was
practicing thinking Frenchbefore I left the States.
How could I change how I thinkabout food?
(26:47):
And it was an easy read with alot of strong opinions that you
can ignore.
But the idea is that there aredifferent ways that we can see
our choices.
And if you can't actually leavethe States to discover a new
culture, there are through booksand podcasts and other ways,
(27:07):
ways to sample this other way ofbeing and see how it feels.
So that's my, that's my, whatI'll leave you with today.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024 (27:16):
I love it.
And that is one of the joys ofbooks, is being able to travel
without leaving your home.
Track 1 (27:22):
Exactly.
I guess that means that's it fortoday.
So, Ã la prochaine fois!
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28- (27:30):
Hasta luego!
We hope you enjoyed this episodeof Bonjola.
If you did, the best thing youcan do is share it with another
person brave enough to moveabroad.
See you next time!
Welcome to Bonjola, a podcastabout two women, Aimee and
Rebecca, who each moved from theUnited States to Europe to
become expats, Aimee to Spainand Rebecca to France.
We're here to share the highs,the lows, and the logistics of
this adventure, encourage you tofollow your own move abroad
dreams, and remind you thatyou're not alone when the going
gets tough.
Enjoy.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03- (00:24):
Bonjour, Rebecca.
Track 1 (00:26):
Banjola, Aimee.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2 (00:27):
What is new and good in your world?
Excellent.
Track 1 (00:32):
and good?
Well, we are just barely a monthliving here in Paris and my
husband starts school onTuesday, four days from now.
So that's when the new properroutine and adventure starts.
The whole point of moving here.
And we've already chosen ournext apartment.
(00:52):
So we're in this one for sixmonths, but we now know where
we'll be living for thefollowing three months.
So that has informed somechoices we're making while
living here as well.
So that's what's, that's what'snew.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-20 (01:05):
Uh, before we talk about the
housing, I'm super curious.
Are you going to beparticipating in Damien's new
morning routine?
Because I saw that video onInstagram.
You did not look happy to havemade it to the school by 7 30 in
the morning.
Track 1 (01:25):
Well, yeah, we are now getting up at 5 a.
m.
Um, I was, I was still a littlesleepy in that video, but
actually no, I don't mind it atall.
The challenge is, and I know youunderstand this, my work hours
go into the evening till aboutseven, and then we have dinner,
(01:46):
and then, you know, maybe we'llgo for a walk, and so our day
ends around ten or eleven, andI'm the kind of girl who Wants
slash needs eight to nine hoursof sleep a night.
And because of math, that's aproblem.
If you're getting up at 5 AM.
Um, yeah, I do want to though,when we made the decision to
(02:07):
move here, I was really hoping,that I would get to walk him to
school and then I could go offand do my work.
And then after that, um, Hewould come home and then we'd
have our evenings, but it's beena bunch of wondering because we
didn't have his school scheduleuntil last week.
And it's all over the place.
(02:27):
So some days he starts at 7 30in the morning.
Some days he starts at 11 AM,but we'll go into the evenings.
There's some Saturdays causeit's, The restaurant industry.
And I figured that would betrue.
So that means that yes, we willhave some early morning routines
if I survive.
And there will also be days whenwe can take it a little bit more
chill, which is nice,
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2 (02:49):
That is nice.
I'm glad it's not 7 a.
m.
six days a week, particularlywith your U.
S.
work schedule.
Track 1 (02:57):
but I have to say that the commute, I mean, we
literally walk across the Senstare at the Eiffel tower in
pink tinge skies with birdsongfilling the air.
I mean, I'm not exactlycomplaining.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2 (03:13):
That sounds, that sounds like it
would be worth getting up for.
Track 1 (03:16):
It really is.
You know, so right now I have toget used to the new timing and I
need to get myself to bed alittle bit earlier and it will
be well worth it.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03- (03:27):
Amazing.
So where are you moving next?
How does this impact whereyou're living now?
Give me, give me the housingscoop.
Track 1 (03:38):
So the apartment where we live now is about a 45 minute
walk to Damien's school.
It's in a city called BoulogneBianco.
It's a mouthful and, um, it'snot in Paris.
So it's just like if you're inSeattle, if you live in
Shoreline or Edmonds or WestSeattle, you don't technically
live in Seattle, but you can seeit.
(03:59):
It's right there.
Okay.
So that's where our current homeis with that 45 minute walk.
And then the new home will be a20 minute walk and properly in
the 15th arrondissement.
So that's one big change.
The cool changes are that thenext place is decorated.
(04:22):
It's not just decorated.
It has a bathtub.
It has a terrace.
It has air conditioning and ithas heated floors.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28- (04:30):
What?
Track 1 (04:31):
It's no bigger than our current apartment.
It's still a tiny postage stamp.
Um, oh, but it's two levels witha spiral staircase.
So it's just this little jewelbox.
And so here, where we are rightnow, it's, it's clean, it's
bright.
The view is amazing.
But it's fairly, fairly sparelydecorated.
(04:53):
And we were thinking aboutgetting a rug, which has had its
own adventures of us trying tofind these resources, but we
have since, I know we've talkedabout the mail in the past on
our podcast.
We have since successfullygotten mail, which includes two
yoga mats from Amazon.
So now we're not needing the rugfor comfort purposes for our
(05:15):
morning routine.
And since the next place will beso decorated, I'm like, you know
what?
I think I'm fine.
So it's changed because, I mean,we're living in these temporary
situations, three to six monthsat a time.
And while I want to be happy athome, I also don't want to Make
it really complicated to movefrom place to place to place
(05:36):
either
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28 (05:37):
Right, right.
That's, that feels like thatwould be a significant level up
in making happy, like making ahappy home.
Track 1 (05:50):
in terms of going to the more decorated apartment.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-20 (05:53):
No, in terms of leveling up your
skills, right, of making yourhome your happy place when
you're not.
Getting these curated items whenyou're not nesting in the way
that we've all been raised tonest in our consumerist culture,
how
Track 1 (06:11):
and
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2 (06:11):
that work?
Track 1 (06:12):
yeah, cause for the listeners who don't know, I
spent the last 15 years.
As an interior designer, thatwas my entire job.
And before that, growing up inthe military, my parents were
the kinds of people who unpackedwithin two weeks and everything
was all appointed and it's allof our, you know, family
mementos.
So this is a really differentexperience for me.
(06:35):
And it's funny because.
Years ago, I was on a episodeof, um, the podcast, bittersweet
life, which is an expat podcast,and they were asking me, you
know, some ideas and tips forhow you make a temporary home
feel like a home.
I'm really excited to go backand listen to it and see what I
said.
Because I.
(06:57):
What I have discovered is themost important part of making
this home my home was just inscrubbing it like clearing out
the old almost energy of the, ofthe other occupants and because
I'm living in Paris andeverything is so tiny, my home
(07:18):
Is more than just the stamp thatlike the literal footprint of my
apartment, the markets, thecheese shops, the cafes, the
third places are a much moreimportant part of quote home
here.
And I don't know if this is cityliving or if it's Paris living
or if it's expat living, it'sprobably a combination of all of
(07:41):
those things.
So being happy at home is.
Ever, it's just as much asimportant as it always has been
to me,
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2 (07:50):
Yes, of course.
Track 1 (07:52):
but I'm finding that a single fluffy blanket, having
the cat here, having it cleanand everything tidy is much more
important than the color of thesofa or whatever.
It's been really revealing andreally good for me.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28- (08:13):
Yeah, yeah, it's, yeah, when I say
level up, I'm like leveling upyour skills at discovering how
to make home in this situationwith all of these different
experiences that you've neverhad before.
Track 1 (08:29):
Yeah.
And on top of that, it is, it isliterally different living in
Europe and trying to doremodeling and decorating kinds
of things in the States.
We are overwhelmed with theamount of choice we have.
You don't like this store.
Don't worry.
There's.
3, 000 other ones that sellsimilar yet different things.
(08:52):
And, you know, just the otherday I was on an expat group and
somebody was saying, where can Ifind a sofa that isn't an eight
week lead time, which is a thingin the States too, because
you've got your ready made quickpurchases.
And then you've got your, I'llwait eight weeks to eight months
for things purchases.
But I'm noticing that there'ssimply are fewer.
(09:13):
Stores here, there are feweroptions.
And I think it's the culturething.
They don't need all the choicesbecause that's not where their
priority lies.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28- (09:25):
Yeah, I couldn't help but notice you
said that's where their prioritylies as though there is only one
priority and not priorities,which was a conversation my
husband and I had last nightregarding the book essentialism,
Track 1 (09:43):
One of my favorites.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2 (09:45):
Yes, yes.
And he, I know when he listensto this, he's going to bust out
laughing because he told me thatlast night.
He was like, you know, thisthing that I keep thinking about
that I keep remembering from thebook essentialism.
And then he told me, you know,there is no such thing as
priorities.
There's only a priority.
And, you know, my brain broke alittle bit because, Oh, that's
(10:09):
right.
That is how it used to be.
What the heck are we doing toourselves?
So.
I love that you just said that.
It is not a French priority tohave unlimited choices.
Track 1 (10:26):
it isn't, and it isn't a French priority to have your
home be perfect.
That isn't a mark of homesuccess as far as I can tell.
Yeah.
That book, I remember when Ifirst read it and I was reading
it from a business perspective.
And for anybody who hasn't readit, one of the big graphics in
(10:47):
this book is a circle.
And then it has arrows comingout, radiating out from the
circle.
And those arrows represent allthe things you're trying to do.
And so I sat down and I did itfor my, all of my work goals and
priorities.
There must've been 30 arrows.
Did you not?
(11:08):
And I'm like, Oh.
This might be why I'm tiredsince then, because I've been
practicing from this book for along time.
At this point, I've started toactually flip that graphic.
So if the circle becomes you,then the arrows can point in,
(11:28):
what are we feeding into ourlives?
What are we allowing into ourlives?
Because so much of.
What people do, and especiallywith interior design, it's
shaped by what they think theyshould do or what they think
other people want of them.
and and that's, I'm coming todecide for myself, not a good
(11:52):
decision matrix.
It's sort of like when the mailgets delivered to your home, you
don't even have to let the junkmail in.
You could say, you could stop atthe recycling bin before you
even get in your house and say,none of this garbage has to come
in.
I don't answer my phone.
Pretty much ever.
If, if it's important, they'llleave a voicemail.
(12:12):
And so before I was reallyfocusing on where am I putting
my energy out to, but now thatI'm here, I'm really thinking
more about what am I letting in?
And am I okay with that?
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024 (12:25):
I love that.
I mean, it's very timely becauseI feel, again, for our U.
S.
audience, it's an election year,and there's going to be a lot of
stuff coming at you.
And this is a time when wedefinitely need to be mindful of
what we take in.
Track 1 (12:45):
It's okay.
I have a funny example of that.
So I actually enjoy pretty muchall kinds of music.
Um, including country music,which some people might find
surprising, but right now I havetold Damien that we're not
allowed to play country musicuntil the elections are over,
because for some reason, thatgenre triggers my Democrat
(13:09):
Republican frustrations, andthen I feel angry for no reason.
There's nobody to be mad at.
And so, yeah, it's, it's thesame decision I made when I
said, I can't have packages ofOreos in the house because I
will eat all of them.
We have to make choices aboutwhat's around us.
(13:31):
And if they're making us angryfor no good reason or sabotaging
our healthy habits, we have thepower and choice to say, yeah,
no, I'm not going to let thatin.
And it's really, it isempowering.
I
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-20 (13:47):
it.
is.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
It really is a, it's a small butsignificant way to take your
life back.
Track 1 (13:53):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just like managing your screentime or deciding what will be in
your Instagram feed.
You know, I used to have a lotof interior design in my
Instagram feed for obviousreasons.
And I discovered that itactually made me feel bad, both
about my home and about my workfor my clients, because people
(14:15):
only show the very, very, verybest, right?
They don't show the reality.
And so I said, this isn't goodfor me or my career.
And I unsubscribed to most ofthose feeds.
And now my Instagram feed isalmost entirely things like
fluffy bunnies and choreographeddance routines.
And it is a place of joy and Ilove it.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28 (14:35):
That's fantastic.
So how, how long has it beenuntil you move into your new
place closer to the school?
Track 1 (14:42):
That's still five months away.
Yeah.
We're only one month into thisplace.
There was something, it was allDamien driving it, which is
unusual.
I'm usually the one who's going,where are we going to live?
Where are we going to live?
I think that waiting.
A month to start school fromgetting here.
First of all, it was brilliant.
I mean, we can't imagine havingtried to accomplish all the
(15:05):
bureaucratic stuff we needed todo.
If we'd only shown up a week orsomething before his school
started.
So we're really happy with thechoice, but you know, I got here
and within a week I startedschool.
I mean, excuse me, I startedwork and he's just been waiting.
Right.
So he's in this, liminal inbetween place without an
(15:27):
identity and he's having lovelywalks through Paris, but with no
real purpose.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2 (15:33):
I've been wondering how that has
landed for him because it reallyis probably the first time in
his adult life that he has nothad.
Work that's needed to be done,something that is being demanded
of him.
Track 1 (15:47):
Yeah.
When we, you know, he finishedthe sale of his company just
barely before we actually leftthe States.
And that company was 25%.
Appliance installers, you know,five different trucks going out
every single day, alwayssomebody calling in sick or
something going wrong.
So it's this floor gotscratched.
(16:08):
And, and even if things weren'tgoing wrong as a business owner,
you're always assumed somethingis about to go wrong.
squadcaster-c43e_2_0 (16:15):
Especially if you've got a lot of employees
and a lot of moving parts.
Track 1 (16:19):
And especially if those employees are mostly dudes under
the age of 25.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28- (16:22):
Yeah.
Yeah,
Track 1 (16:24):
So yeah, it's, I think he's enjoying it, but it is
uncomfortable in the wayanything new is.
And he can't just settle into itand just be some sort of like,
Retiree, because school isstarting and it will be 35 plus
hours a week.
And, so, yeah, so I think hejust wanted to make some
(16:48):
decision to have some kind ofcontrol or say, so I was like,
you know, not gonna hurt us.
Let's go ahead and find our nextplace.
And it's nice knowing wherewe're going to live next and
have
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024 (16:57):
I
Track 1 (16:57):
look forward to.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024 (16:59):
I love that you were able to find
a place so far in advance.
That kind of
Track 1 (17:04):
actually.
Airbnb has been our solution forall of these things.
And it's an interesting choicebecause on the face of it, it's
more expensive than getting anapartment straight out.
But number one, it is nigh onimpossible to get somebody to
rent to you when you are aforeigner in Paris.
(17:25):
And that is in large partbecause the rental rules are so
renter friendly that squattingis a big problem.
In Paris,
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-202 (17:34):
We have that problem in Spain, too.
Track 1 (17:37):
secondly, and then, of course, to go with that, you
have to have a bunch of thingslike a bank account, which we
haven't done yet.
2nd is it looks cheaper on thesurface of it, but you're then
responsible for all yourutilities.
And it's funny when you walkaround looking at the places to
rent here, they have thesescales like a through Z, I
(17:58):
guess, of.
Energy efficiency and they'reall like an F I mean, it's
horrible.
They're just bad.
So these places just leakenergy.
So you're responsible for yourutilities, which you have to be
able to get, which is a hardthing as a foreigner, if you can
even get somebody to rent to youin the first place.
And on top of that, moving ismore expensive.
(18:20):
If you're trying to move a bunchof stuff, it's logistically more
challenging and you have to buyall that stuff.
So with Airbnb's.
It's all in one number.
We have a system that we can goto if it all went to heck.
Which is huge
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28 (18:40):
Right.
Track 1 (18:41):
and it's furnished.
So we're not having to gothrough the hassle and challenge
and expense of buying things ina place where we don't even know
where to buy things.
So it's worked great for us.
And we rented this place, Ithink nine months before we came
out.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03- (18:59):
Awesome.
How are you feeling about thenew neighborhood?
Have you, do you, are youfamiliar with the new
neighborhood where you'll bemoving?
Track 1 (19:07):
Oh my gosh.
Okay.
This is actually a funny littlestory.
So yes, it's in the 15th, whichis where his school is.
And we.
When we did our three monthtrial stay here, we spent two
weeks in that neighborhood.
So pretty comfortable with it.
But the, maybe a week after wegot here, this, this time, we
were just wandering around kindof in his school area.
(19:29):
And we came across this buildingthat was.
bananas skinny.
It's so skinny, right?
It's, and that's, I love thisabout Paris.
They just carve out spots, putthings and they fit.
So I remember I, I haven'tposted that yet.
Cause I'm horrible about postingon Instagram, but I filmed it.
(19:50):
Cause I'm like, look how skinnythis building is.
Fast forward to last week.
And we've discovered that theAirbnb was in that skinny
building.
And
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024 (20:00):
I love
Track 1 (20:01):
gotta be a sign.
This has gotta be Kismet.
And we actually applied for adifferent one first with an
unresponsive landlord.
And I was so happy when it fellthrough, because this one's a
little bit more money than theone we first applied for.
And I was like, it's meant tobe, I'm supposed to be in this
place.
It's not as walkable aneighborhood as we're in right
(20:23):
now.
It's a little bit more trafficy, but I mean, between the fact
that it's this So weird skinnybuilding.
It's up on, I don't know, fifthor sixth floor.
So the views will still be niceand expansive and the terrace
and all the other things Imentioned earlier, I'll give up
some walkability.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-202 (20:43):
Do you have a lift?
Is there an elevator?
Track 1 (20:46):
I want to say there is, but we're not that worried about
it here.
We're on the seventh floor and Iam proud to say that with rare
exception, we take the stairs.
Even when we forget something,we climb the stairs.
If we forget something a secondtime, we take the elevator.
(21:08):
Um, yeah, I got, I got stronglittle butt muscles at this
point.
Tell you what those stairs.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03- (21:13):
European Living will do that too.
Track 1 (21:16):
Yeah.
Even my rings are a little bitloose now.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2 (21:19):
Wow.
Track 1 (21:20):
I know.
And I'm just, I want to, I don'twant to change anything.
Even my clothes are.
And I don't want to like go buynew stuff yet because I don't
know if this is the new normal,or if this is just me kind of my
body going, Whoa, that's a lotof walking.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28- (21:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Track 1 (21:39):
Yeah.
Damien's actually said, youknow, you don't need to lose any
more weight.
And I'm like, I'm not trying to,it's just that the food here is
so dang healthy.
I've eaten sugar and sugarythings maybe three times in the
last month.
That's crazy compared to myAmerican lifestyle.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-20 (22:00):
You know, that's, the thing is, is
that I don't think, I, Iencourage you to hold that
perspective, but that, you know,it's just so easy to eat healthy
in France, but my child had noproblems finding pain au
chocolat any time he wanted oneor getting, you know, pastries
(22:22):
or sweet things in
Track 1 (22:24):
It's all very available in all the American snacks are
available to the differences.
You have to go get them.
like, Damien, I noticed theother day when we were walking
through the metro where there'sall these advertisements on the
walls, big posters.
They're all, pretty much all,for things to do.
Cultural events, and museumthings, and music things.
(22:48):
And then there's some grocerystore advertising, but the food
advertising simply doesn't existhere.
When I go, when I drive down thestreet in America, First, I
crave McDonald's, then I craveBurger King, then I crave Jack
in the Box.
It just depends on what I'mdriving past.
Here, I can walk past aMcDonald's and not even realize
(23:08):
I'm walking past a McDonald's.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28- (23:11):
Well, the signage is so subtle.
Track 1 (23:13):
It is, and it makes a profound difference because all
marketing is psychological.
It's planting an idea in yourmind, which then makes you
literally physically salivateAnd now your body legitimately
wants to eat food that it didn'tneed before you saw that
advertisement.
(23:33):
So yes, all of it's here.
I'm lucky because I'm not reallya big fan of French, French
pastries, so that helps.
But the, between all of that andthe fact that French people do
not walk around eating.
If you see somebody walking onthe street while eating, and
(23:54):
it's not just the nubbin of abaguette.
They are not French.
So, and I care about fitting into a culture.
So I'm not between mealssnacking and it's, so it's not
any one of these ingredients,just like an apple is more than
more than the sum of its parts.
It's.
All of it.
(24:15):
It's walking up the stairs.
It's not having the foodadvertising.
It's having a culture of notsnacking between meals.
And on top of all of that, theactual food is freaking
delicious.
I eat a hard boiled egg at arestaurant and I'm swooning.
(24:36):
Like, what is that?
Yeah.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2 (24:42):
It's amazing when there's like more
nutrients in the food, like youcellularly know and respond to
it.
Track 1 (24:53):
I don't know if the egg yolks here are more nutritious
because I'm not you and I don'thave your job, but they are so
yellow.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28- (25:02):
Yeah.
They're macaroni and cheeseyellow.
It's amazing.
They glow.
It's beautiful.
It's beautiful.
And yes, that is, that's a signof much higher carotenoid
levels.
It is very much a different egg.
It tastes different.
It's,
Track 1 (25:21):
Fabulous.
squadcaster-c43e_2_0 (25:22):
different.
Yeah.
Yep.
Track 1 (25:24):
And I would say, you know, I had done a lot of work
with you on my eating habitsback in America.
If I hadn't already done a lotof that work, I think this would
be a lot harder because I wasn'tcoming off of a big, like I did
sugar load right at the end justbecause I'm like, I'm never
going to see Reese's again.
So was shoving my face full ofall of it.
(25:45):
Not really enjoying it, but justkind of the.
I may never get this againthing,
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-20 (25:51):
The FOMO is so real.
Track 1 (25:54):
because I'd already eased my body into the idea that
real food is what I wanted to beeating, I think that it was an
easier transition as well.
I'm
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28- (26:03):
Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
Is there anything that you wantto leave our listeners with
today?
Track 1 (26:14):
going to leave, uh, I'm going to leave our listeners
with a book recommendation.
There is a classic book outthere called French Women Don't
Get Fat.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-202 (26:23):
Oh yeah, I remember that one.
Track 1 (26:24):
And so that one plus bringing up bébé, I read both of
them from a kind of ananthropological view.
I was trying to going, you know,what do they have to say about
this?
And I did find a lot of helpfulgems in there as I was
practicing thinking Frenchbefore I left the States.
How could I change how I thinkabout food?
(26:47):
And it was an easy read with alot of strong opinions that you
can ignore.
But the idea is that there aredifferent ways that we can see
our choices.
And if you can't actually leavethe States to discover a new
culture, there are through booksand podcasts and other ways,
(27:07):
ways to sample this other way ofbeing and see how it feels.
So that's my, that's my, whatI'll leave you with today.
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28-2024 (27:16):
I love it.
And that is one of the joys ofbooks, is being able to travel
without leaving your home.
Track 1 (27:22):
Exactly.
I guess that means that's it fortoday.
So, Ã la prochaine fois!
squadcaster-c43e_2_03-28- (27:30):
Hasta luego!
We hope you enjoyed this episodeof Bonjola.
If you did, the best thing youcan do is share it with another
person brave enough to moveabroad.
See you next time!
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