March 18, 2025 • 21 mins
Where to find Aimee:
- Instagram: @vibrancenutrition
- Nutrition Coaching: vibrancenutrition.com
- Podcast on Nutrition: Blasphemous Nutrition
- Substack on Nomadic Life: NomadicNomMom
Where to find Rebecca:
- Instagram and her life in Paris: @beseriouslyhappy
- Podcast for Interior Design-preneurs: Stuff Interior Designers Need to Know
- Biz Coaching for Interior Designers: seriouslyhappy.com
- Book on Interior Design Psychology: Happy Starts at Home
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Welcome to Bonjola, a podcastabout two women, Amy and
Rebecca, who each moved from theUnited States to Europe to
become expats, Amy to Spain andRebecca to France.
We're here to share the highs,the lows, and the logistics of
this adventure, encourage you tofollow your own move abroad
dreams, and remind you thatyou're not alone when the going
gets tough.
Enjoy.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28- (00:24):
Angela, Rebecca,
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_14 (00:25):
Angela, Amy.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-202 (00:27):
tell me all about your spa
experience.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_14144 (00:32):
Yes, so this is my second spa
experience in Paris.
The first time I went to more ofa Thai spa and it was lovely and
immersive and if anybody'slooking for that, it was the Ban
Thai spa in the Marais district.
But this was completelydifferent.
This was a hammam.
(00:54):
My first experience with hammamwas in Spain, in Córdoba, and it
does come from a Muslim Islamtradition.
So think, you know, the sun andthe moon and stars motifs, those
very Islamic motifs, mosaictile, gorgeousness, right?
So that's the vibe.
(01:15):
So I had learned that there wasa hammam here.
In Paris, that's associated withthe grand mosque, and it's not
anything, uh, like commercialfeeling.
It's just a Turkish bath forwomen to go enjoy.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (01:34):
And you need not be Muslim to enjoy
it.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025 (01:37):
absolutely not.
It is open to everybody.
So because of my really greatHamam experience in Cordoba, I
was really excited to try it.
I met a gal on Facebook who didit.
Was willing to be my buddy.
She'd gone before
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (01:53):
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
How do you, how do you meetsomeone on Facebook that you
then decide to go to an allladies naked spa with?
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (02:03):
and actually remember if she posted
something or I posted something,we were talking about that.
We can't remember, but there isa really great group, uh, expat
group here, um, called it's noteven expat, but it's called
women living in Paris.
And it's a really great groupwhere women share.
And answer questions that womenmight have that aren't just
(02:27):
related to being a woman, butthe group is for women.
So either she posted somethingabout, Hey, I want to do this.
Does anybody want to join?
Or I saw a comment, you know,something about spas.
This was way back in Novemberand we had some trouble
connecting because of theholidays.
And then I got sick and then shegot sick and dadada.
(02:49):
But here we are.
We finally connected and she wasmy buddy.
So that's how that happened.
Yeah.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (02:54):
Okay.
And is she Parisian?
Is she?
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_1414 (02:58):
She's British.
And she has lived in Paris forfive or seven years and came
here for love and is engaged tothat person.
And they'll be getting marriedthis fall.
So it's a happy story because alot of people come here for love
and then find that they aregoing to follow a different
path.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2 (03:17):
Right.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_1414 (03:19):
okay.
So here's the experience, um,you're going to go to, I mean,
you can literally just put itinto Google maps and it takes
you right to the right spot.
And there's a door that is goinginto kind of the side of this
grand mosque building, andthere's a cart, kind of like a
pastry cart with treats andstuff right inside of this
entrance.
(03:40):
And then just to the left ofthat is a wooden door and a sign
that says, That feels permanent,but it doesn't feel noticeable.
Kind of like if you were in arestaurant and you're looking
for the sign for the toilets.
The sign will be professionaland permanent, but it's not
like, The toilets are this way!
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2 (04:01):
Right.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (04:02):
So, says Hamam, has an arrow, go
through a door.
And then there are people whospeak French, and not English.
So be forewarned that this is agreat place to have a buddy.
So they speak French.
They're asking you what you wantto basically order.
And I said to my friend, I will,I'm just following your lead.
(04:23):
I will literally do whatever youdo.
So she got time in the spa.
which is the Hamam.
So basically, Hamam means steamroom.
Loosely translated, it usuallymeans steam room.
And so she got thyme in theHamam, thyme, uh, with a, oh, a
body scrub, which is called agommage in French, gommage.
(04:47):
hot oil massage.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-202 (04:49):
Ooh, that sounds awesome.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (04:51):
So then they give you this little
baggie and in that baggie is ascrubby glove.
They will be using on you.
Some black soap, which sort ofsqueezes out like really thick
honey, I think that's it.
They have lockers.
You put your stuff in thelockers.
And the general etiquette isbikini bottoms on no top.
(05:12):
I think obviously you could walkaround.
With the top on I might haveseen one or two people doing
that, but almost everybody wasjust boobs out and it is female
only as I said, um, it's verysteamy and I didn't have my
glasses on.
So, at this point, the worldgets a little vague, but I was
following my buddy's lead.
And what we did is we went in tothe steam room area and we laid
(05:35):
on these stone.
Slabs, which are heated fromunderneath.
So they're nice and toasty.
And then you're slathering thatblack soap on you and you let
that sit for about 10 minutes
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025_ (05:47):
Do you know what's in it?
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (05:49):
No idea.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (05:50):
I'm assuming charcoal because spa
and black stuff that you slatheron your skin, but I thought it
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (05:58):
I'm assuming.
It's kind of meant to, I guess,draw out the toxins or soften
your skin or I don't know.
I didn't ask many questions.
All right.
So then, um, You can go towardsthe gommage area where they will
then take the mitt that you hadfor your personal mitt, and you
(06:19):
lay yourself down on a yoga matthat they clean between uses,
and then they scrub the crap outof you.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (06:28):
Yeah.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_14144 (06:29):
And, uh, you definitely lose about
eight layers of skin.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025_ (06:32):
Mm hmm.
I've had that experience at theKorean spa and it's amazing how
much dead skin they pull off ofyou.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_14144 (06:40):
It's nasty
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (06:41):
Yeah.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (06:42):
and they're not in this case, at
least they're not hosing youdown or rinsing you down.
They're just letting all thatdead skin just kind of pile up
all over you.
It's really disgusting.
Then they tell you you're done.
Um, and so again, they onlyspoke French, but especially
once you're past the purchasingcharades work great.
(07:03):
You know, I was able to say, um,excuse me, you know, blah.
And then she just.
Signal that I figured out what Iwas supposed to do.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-202 (07:12):
Now, are these, are these, do you
have specific times that you'resupposed to go from one station
to the next or is it just whenyou're ready and you feel like
steamed out then, you know,transition and the next
available person will take careof you and scrub you down?
Is that sort of?
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_1414 (07:27):
Yeah.
It's definitely loose.
Like the second one I asked mybuddy, like, how does it work?
Are they going to come get us?
And she's like, no, they're notgoing to do any work.
They don't have to do.
It's a very, but
aimee-guest651_2_01-28 (07:40):
darling.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_14144 (07:42):
when you're ready to stand up and go
to that area and it's a bit likea conveyor belt, they're like,
okay, you're up next layer layon this one, because there's a
couple of different stations.
Um, so it's not like.
When I went to the Bantai spa,it's very immersive.
It's very soothing.
It's, it's like, you know, theCalgon take me away experience
(08:03):
for those of a certain age.
This is much more, um, healthspa.
We are here to improve yourcirculatory system, you know,
kind of like that.
Um, so after they say you'redone, then you get up and you go
and rinse all that off and thenyou can go spend more time in
the Hamam.
Steaming or you can go into thedry area onto the mats and they
(08:27):
will bring you sweet green tea.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-202 (08:30):
Ooh.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_14 (08:31):
There's also a fountain right in the
middle of the room where you canjust grab a glass and then fill
it.
It's actually potable watercoming from this very fancy
fountain, which is cool.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-202 (08:39):
That is cool.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (08:40):
And that room is really, it's as
beautiful as you would want itto be being as part of a mosque
with the multicolored tiles andthe carved wood columns.
And, you know, everything iswhat you make of it.
Like I said, the door to thiswas sort of like a glorified gym
room, if that was from anothercentury.
(09:01):
And you're laying on what kindof are like gym mats, because it
is just a community health spa.
You know, it's a bath.
Um, and when we decided we weredone, we were done.
We went back to our lockers,grabbed our stuff and, Oh, I
forgot about this massage.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025_ (09:20):
Oh yeah.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (09:20):
I forgot to put important details,
so I don't know why, but theydid come and say, would you like
your massage?
So I don't know if they werejust sitting around with nothing
to do and they decided to seewho was still wearing their
bracelet and get them done orwhat, but they came and got us
for the massage.
And that was the other thing Iwanted to mention is.
In the little baggie are, like,basically stretchy hair ties
(09:44):
with tags on them that say whatyou purchased.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (09:48):
Got it.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (09:49):
I went to get my scrub, they took
the little scrubby tag, and whenI was getting my massage, they
took the massagey tag.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (09:56):
Nice.
Okay.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141 (09:57):
Again, aiding with the lack of language
skills.
aimee-guest651_2_01- (10:00):
Fantastic.
Two thumbs up.
Great idea.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_14 (10:05):
massage was basically just a warm oil
treatment.
This is not a Thai massage.
They are not getting into yourmuscles.
It's what I call a fluff andbuff.
Um, but it's very soothing andvery calming.
It's just not my favorite kindof massage.
So obviously it's about whatyou're looking for in terms of
what you're paying.
(10:25):
But all said and done, it was 70euro.
We were there for three hoursand it was fantastic.
Highly recommend.
Would do it again.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28 (10:34):
Awesome.
Do you plan on going back withthis friend of yours?
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_14144 (10:38):
Yes.
We're going back in two months.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025_ (10:40):
Oh my gosh, you've already made
plans.
Of course you have your Rebecca.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_1414 (10:44):
Well, and she was up for it.
She, she was very easy to talkto.
We had a lot in common.
I asked her if she likes StarTrek and it was an instant and
enthusiastic.
Yes.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-202 (10:56):
Wow.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_ (10:58):
Sometimes you just hit it off with people,
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-202 (11:01):
Now, original, next generation?
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (11:04):
the whole, the whole, all of it.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (11:06):
All of it, all even Deep Space Nine.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_1414 (11:08):
which by the way, I hate it.
We just finished watching it.
I'd never seen it for that one.
Okay.
I'm not surprised that I hatedit because.
I can't imagine living on anisland, like, I feel so trapped.
Whereas all of the other onesare about exploring.
Deep Space Nine is all on oneplay.
(11:31):
Why would I watch that?
It's just a stupid sitcom dramain space instead of an
exploration story.
aimee-guest651_2_0 (11:39):
interesting.
Yeah, I never got into DeepSpace Nine, so I didn't give
myself an opportunity to bedisappointed.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (11:48):
You weren't missing anything,
aimee-guest651_2_01-28- (11:49):
That's, I mean, that's the universal
consensus worldwide, is like,don't bother, so.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (11:56):
but I'd also never watched Voyager.
And I do definitely now have acrush on Janeway.
She is such an amazing boss.
But what I got to tell my newfriend about was Picard.
Have you watched it?
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025_ (12:10):
We watched a little bit of it
before we left the States,, thefirst season, and, You know,
it's, we were both, Shane and Iwere both like, well, you
really, it's not fair to judge aseries by their first season,
but it, I felt, I was super,super, super, super, super
(12:33):
disappointed with the amount ofviolence.
Because it was so above andbeyond what any other Star Trek
series had done.
And they were being, you know,just flashy, and a little too
gratuitous, and a little too,like, looking for opportunities
to be violent.
I'm just like, ugh, God, if Iwanted this shit, pardon my
(12:56):
language, guys, I would just goto a movie theater and watch an
action film.
I don't, Picard is not, that'snot, no, no, that would, no.
So that was super disappointingto me.
There were elements of it Iliked, but, but honestly, the
most exciting part was justseeing visits from the TNG crew,
(13:20):
which doesn't bode well for thefuture of Picard, if that's what
has to carry the show.
So we saw, you know, yeah,there's a new season.
We talked about it, but neitherof us are super excited to dive
into the second season.
Yeah.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_1 (13:36):
entirely opposite response to it.
I thought the treatment of thecontinuation of the Borg story
was really, really well writtenand really interestingly
handled.
And it hit.
All the nostalgia marks that Ineeded and just fed my little,
you know, 80s souls.
I loved that for it.
You know, we had to subscribe toParamount just to watch it.
(13:58):
And I would say it was worth it.
will I re subscribe to watchseason two?
I don't know.
Because I actually found seasonone to satisfy a lot of what I
needed when it came to the Borg.
Because so many of the old Well,I love Star Trek so often the
villains are treated as so onenote
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (14:18):
Yeah.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (14:19):
and one of the things I struggle
with being human is the factthat we are all having such a
universal experience and yet weall feel so alone and I feel
like if, if we could just have aVulcan mind meld or like a week
as the Borg, we'd all be like,Oh, we're all the same.
(14:41):
And I think that could benefitus.
The problem is the Borg won'tlet you out of the cult once
you're in it.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (14:50):
And all they want to do is amass
more.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (14:53):
I know.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (14:54):
So, I mean, that's proof in the
pudding right there that even ifyou get to experience the
collective knowledge andfeelings of others, It doesn't
turn you into a peace lovingbeing.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_1414 (15:09):
know, that's true.
No, that's true.
I mean, and it's all utopianthinking anyway, because there's
no one way to solve foreverything, but it's an
interesting thought experiment
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (15:21):
There are multiple billionaires right
now looking for ways to solveeverything, and I'm sure like
brain chips or something creepylike that is on their to do
list.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (15:31):
if it's not already happening as we
speak.
There are secrets we don't knowabout and we're probably glad we
don't.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (15:38):
And on that dystopian note,
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_1414 (15:41):
Well, I will end with piece of very
happy news, um, which is that Ido officially have a French bank
account.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2 (15:50):
bravo, that's so fantastic.
How does it, how does it feel?
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (15:55):
It feels very, it feels very
official.
It feels, honestly, it feelslike a bigger milestone than it
needs to.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (16:03):
Well, it took so long for it to
happen, of course.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (16:06):
and to be fair to the French, it
actually wasn't that long of aprocess because it was
interrupted, by the holidays andme being in Portugal for three
weeks.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (16:17):
Mm.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (16:18):
So in the end it was four total
meetings and the person at the,BNP, which is the bank was
phenomenal.
Absolutely, really, reallygreat.
so, if there are any expats outthere who are living in France,
Paris specifically, and you needa bank account, let me know
(16:40):
because I am happy to share herinformation with you so that you
can skip at least one of theunnecessary appointments that I
had to go through.
We're here to help, guys, intiny little steps.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (16:51):
Oh, one more question, I'm curious,
how does, how does the processof Damien's healing go, how is
all of that, how is school forhim right now, like how is he
managing that, even though it'shis not dominant arm that's
injured, and is there anyupdates on the medical front?
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141 (17:10):
That's an interesting question.
So, school's actually going justfine.
he can't, what he can't do is hecan't lift his arm above his
shoulder level.
of the mechanisms for that.
But in fact, that's notsomething he has to do in
cooking very often.
Cooking is a lot more backmuscles and bicep triceps.
So he's doing fine.
(17:31):
I suspect it's a little sorethan he lets on because the man
is a beast.
You know, he's just, he's alwaysbeen so physical that he just
kind of ignores pain.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (17:39):
Yeah.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (17:40):
The doctor had said, it's not really
going to make a differencewaiting or doing it immediately.
So.
It's all fine.
The reason it's an interestingquestion is because I don't have
clear answers for you because myhusband is a husband.
As many wives have found,husbands make terrible
administrative assistance.
(18:02):
And I think, I think he has somepaperwork he has to fill out in
order to get the appointment.
And I think he hasn't filled outthat paperwork.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025_ (18:11):
Oh dear.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_1414 (18:12):
don't exactly know, and he doesn't
seem that concerned about it.
So I assume he will get it donebecause he's a grown up.
And it's not my job to motherhim, even though my brain's over
here going, uh, Hey, honey, staytuned.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025_ (18:30):
I, I think that is an incredibly
healthy boundary that you havewith your husband.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (18:37):
You know, I try and we are really
good about actually saying toeach other, can you help me get
this thing done?
Just earlier with something hedid say to me, can you help me
remember to do this?
Or, like, when we went to go gethim some custom suits made, he
said, I want you to come withme.
I want you to help me makechoices.
(18:58):
So I try to be really aware ofwhen he wants me to be all
wifey, and if he doesn't, to tryand back off.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (19:06):
Yeah.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_14144 (19:07):
It's not always easy, but I'm not his
mom.
I'm his wife.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28 (19:11):
Exactly.
Exactly.
And that's like a superimportant distinction that I
think, well, in my firstmarriage anyway, not keeping
that distinction, ended themarriage.
I mean, it's, it's, yeah, it wasa big problem, but we were not,
(19:35):
uh, I didn't have goodboundaries.
He wasn't ready to be an adult,so it didn't work out.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (19:41):
And it can kind of snowball because
what I usually see happen isthat the person who is doing the
nagging gets tired of being themom and being responsible for
everything, even though theykind of took on that role
themselves, the person beingnagged gets tired of being
treated like a child, eventhough they weren't stepping up
to be responsible forthemselves.
(20:03):
And then everybody is mad ateverybody else for doing the
thing that everybody kind ofagreed was going to happen.
In the beginning,
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-202 (20:11):
Ugh.
I couldn't have said thatbetter.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (20:14):
but I think about it a lot because.
In the work that I do with myclients, interior designers
create their own monsterclients.
I use the analogy ofrelationships all the time.
Within the first like threeweeks of dating somebody, who's
going to be like sleeping on theleft side of the bed and who's
(20:35):
responsible for letting the dogout when it barks is already
established and you didn't evenrealize it was happening.
And the same thing happens withour clients.
It's like, Oh, it's fine.
you know, I didn't make themanswer me back quickly or pay
that invoice on time.
I don't want to upset them yetbecause this relationship is
still new.
Well, guess what?
(20:56):
You just created a monsterclient just like in a monster
relationship.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28 (21:01):
Totally.
We teach people how to treat usall the time.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (21:06):
So again, perfectly said.
Alright, well, take some lifelessons, home from that, you
guys.
I'm sure there were some gems inthere.
Some marriage lessons.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (21:19):
Big takeaway, don't bother watching
Deep Space Nine.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (21:23):
But do consider Picard.
And on that note, à laprochaine!
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (21:29):
Hasta pronto.
We hope you enjoyed this episodeof Bonjola.
If you did, the best thing youcan do is share it with another
person brave enough to moveabroad.
See you next time!
Welcome to Bonjola, a podcastabout two women, Amy and
Rebecca, who each moved from theUnited States to Europe to
become expats, Amy to Spain andRebecca to France.
We're here to share the highs,the lows, and the logistics of
this adventure, encourage you tofollow your own move abroad
dreams, and remind you thatyou're not alone when the going
gets tough.
Enjoy.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28- (00:24):
Angela, Rebecca,
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_14 (00:25):
Angela, Amy.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-202 (00:27):
tell me all about your spa
experience.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_14144 (00:32):
Yes, so this is my second spa
experience in Paris.
The first time I went to more ofa Thai spa and it was lovely and
immersive and if anybody'slooking for that, it was the Ban
Thai spa in the Marais district.
But this was completelydifferent.
This was a hammam.
(00:54):
My first experience with hammamwas in Spain, in Córdoba, and it
does come from a Muslim Islamtradition.
So think, you know, the sun andthe moon and stars motifs, those
very Islamic motifs, mosaictile, gorgeousness, right?
So that's the vibe.
(01:15):
So I had learned that there wasa hammam here.
In Paris, that's associated withthe grand mosque, and it's not
anything, uh, like commercialfeeling.
It's just a Turkish bath forwomen to go enjoy.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (01:34):
And you need not be Muslim to enjoy
it.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025 (01:37):
absolutely not.
It is open to everybody.
So because of my really greatHamam experience in Cordoba, I
was really excited to try it.
I met a gal on Facebook who didit.
Was willing to be my buddy.
She'd gone before
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (01:53):
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
How do you, how do you meetsomeone on Facebook that you
then decide to go to an allladies naked spa with?
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (02:03):
and actually remember if she posted
something or I posted something,we were talking about that.
We can't remember, but there isa really great group, uh, expat
group here, um, called it's noteven expat, but it's called
women living in Paris.
And it's a really great groupwhere women share.
And answer questions that womenmight have that aren't just
(02:27):
related to being a woman, butthe group is for women.
So either she posted somethingabout, Hey, I want to do this.
Does anybody want to join?
Or I saw a comment, you know,something about spas.
This was way back in Novemberand we had some trouble
connecting because of theholidays.
And then I got sick and then shegot sick and dadada.
(02:49):
But here we are.
We finally connected and she wasmy buddy.
So that's how that happened.
Yeah.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (02:54):
Okay.
And is she Parisian?
Is she?
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_1414 (02:58):
She's British.
And she has lived in Paris forfive or seven years and came
here for love and is engaged tothat person.
And they'll be getting marriedthis fall.
So it's a happy story because alot of people come here for love
and then find that they aregoing to follow a different
path.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2 (03:17):
Right.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_1414 (03:19):
okay.
So here's the experience, um,you're going to go to, I mean,
you can literally just put itinto Google maps and it takes
you right to the right spot.
And there's a door that is goinginto kind of the side of this
grand mosque building, andthere's a cart, kind of like a
pastry cart with treats andstuff right inside of this
entrance.
(03:40):
And then just to the left ofthat is a wooden door and a sign
that says, That feels permanent,but it doesn't feel noticeable.
Kind of like if you were in arestaurant and you're looking
for the sign for the toilets.
The sign will be professionaland permanent, but it's not
like, The toilets are this way!
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2 (04:01):
Right.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (04:02):
So, says Hamam, has an arrow, go
through a door.
And then there are people whospeak French, and not English.
So be forewarned that this is agreat place to have a buddy.
So they speak French.
They're asking you what you wantto basically order.
And I said to my friend, I will,I'm just following your lead.
(04:23):
I will literally do whatever youdo.
So she got time in the spa.
which is the Hamam.
So basically, Hamam means steamroom.
Loosely translated, it usuallymeans steam room.
And so she got thyme in theHamam, thyme, uh, with a, oh, a
body scrub, which is called agommage in French, gommage.
(04:47):
hot oil massage.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-202 (04:49):
Ooh, that sounds awesome.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (04:51):
So then they give you this little
baggie and in that baggie is ascrubby glove.
They will be using on you.
Some black soap, which sort ofsqueezes out like really thick
honey, I think that's it.
They have lockers.
You put your stuff in thelockers.
And the general etiquette isbikini bottoms on no top.
(05:12):
I think obviously you could walkaround.
With the top on I might haveseen one or two people doing
that, but almost everybody wasjust boobs out and it is female
only as I said, um, it's verysteamy and I didn't have my
glasses on.
So, at this point, the worldgets a little vague, but I was
following my buddy's lead.
And what we did is we went in tothe steam room area and we laid
(05:35):
on these stone.
Slabs, which are heated fromunderneath.
So they're nice and toasty.
And then you're slathering thatblack soap on you and you let
that sit for about 10 minutes
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025_ (05:47):
Do you know what's in it?
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (05:49):
No idea.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (05:50):
I'm assuming charcoal because spa
and black stuff that you slatheron your skin, but I thought it
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (05:58):
I'm assuming.
It's kind of meant to, I guess,draw out the toxins or soften
your skin or I don't know.
I didn't ask many questions.
All right.
So then, um, You can go towardsthe gommage area where they will
then take the mitt that you hadfor your personal mitt, and you
(06:19):
lay yourself down on a yoga matthat they clean between uses,
and then they scrub the crap outof you.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (06:28):
Yeah.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_14144 (06:29):
And, uh, you definitely lose about
eight layers of skin.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025_ (06:32):
Mm hmm.
I've had that experience at theKorean spa and it's amazing how
much dead skin they pull off ofyou.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_14144 (06:40):
It's nasty
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (06:41):
Yeah.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (06:42):
and they're not in this case, at
least they're not hosing youdown or rinsing you down.
They're just letting all thatdead skin just kind of pile up
all over you.
It's really disgusting.
Then they tell you you're done.
Um, and so again, they onlyspoke French, but especially
once you're past the purchasingcharades work great.
(07:03):
You know, I was able to say, um,excuse me, you know, blah.
And then she just.
Signal that I figured out what Iwas supposed to do.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-202 (07:12):
Now, are these, are these, do you
have specific times that you'resupposed to go from one station
to the next or is it just whenyou're ready and you feel like
steamed out then, you know,transition and the next
available person will take careof you and scrub you down?
Is that sort of?
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_1414 (07:27):
Yeah.
It's definitely loose.
Like the second one I asked mybuddy, like, how does it work?
Are they going to come get us?
And she's like, no, they're notgoing to do any work.
They don't have to do.
It's a very, but
aimee-guest651_2_01-28 (07:40):
darling.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_14144 (07:42):
when you're ready to stand up and go
to that area and it's a bit likea conveyor belt, they're like,
okay, you're up next layer layon this one, because there's a
couple of different stations.
Um, so it's not like.
When I went to the Bantai spa,it's very immersive.
It's very soothing.
It's, it's like, you know, theCalgon take me away experience
(08:03):
for those of a certain age.
This is much more, um, healthspa.
We are here to improve yourcirculatory system, you know,
kind of like that.
Um, so after they say you'redone, then you get up and you go
and rinse all that off and thenyou can go spend more time in
the Hamam.
Steaming or you can go into thedry area onto the mats and they
(08:27):
will bring you sweet green tea.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-202 (08:30):
Ooh.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_14 (08:31):
There's also a fountain right in the
middle of the room where you canjust grab a glass and then fill
it.
It's actually potable watercoming from this very fancy
fountain, which is cool.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-202 (08:39):
That is cool.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (08:40):
And that room is really, it's as
beautiful as you would want itto be being as part of a mosque
with the multicolored tiles andthe carved wood columns.
And, you know, everything iswhat you make of it.
Like I said, the door to thiswas sort of like a glorified gym
room, if that was from anothercentury.
(09:01):
And you're laying on what kindof are like gym mats, because it
is just a community health spa.
You know, it's a bath.
Um, and when we decided we weredone, we were done.
We went back to our lockers,grabbed our stuff and, Oh, I
forgot about this massage.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025_ (09:20):
Oh yeah.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (09:20):
I forgot to put important details,
so I don't know why, but theydid come and say, would you like
your massage?
So I don't know if they werejust sitting around with nothing
to do and they decided to seewho was still wearing their
bracelet and get them done orwhat, but they came and got us
for the massage.
And that was the other thing Iwanted to mention is.
In the little baggie are, like,basically stretchy hair ties
(09:44):
with tags on them that say whatyou purchased.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (09:48):
Got it.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (09:49):
I went to get my scrub, they took
the little scrubby tag, and whenI was getting my massage, they
took the massagey tag.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (09:56):
Nice.
Okay.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141 (09:57):
Again, aiding with the lack of language
skills.
aimee-guest651_2_01- (10:00):
Fantastic.
Two thumbs up.
Great idea.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_14 (10:05):
massage was basically just a warm oil
treatment.
This is not a Thai massage.
They are not getting into yourmuscles.
It's what I call a fluff andbuff.
Um, but it's very soothing andvery calming.
It's just not my favorite kindof massage.
So obviously it's about whatyou're looking for in terms of
what you're paying.
(10:25):
But all said and done, it was 70euro.
We were there for three hoursand it was fantastic.
Highly recommend.
Would do it again.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28 (10:34):
Awesome.
Do you plan on going back withthis friend of yours?
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_14144 (10:38):
Yes.
We're going back in two months.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025_ (10:40):
Oh my gosh, you've already made
plans.
Of course you have your Rebecca.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_1414 (10:44):
Well, and she was up for it.
She, she was very easy to talkto.
We had a lot in common.
I asked her if she likes StarTrek and it was an instant and
enthusiastic.
Yes.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-202 (10:56):
Wow.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_ (10:58):
Sometimes you just hit it off with people,
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-202 (11:01):
Now, original, next generation?
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (11:04):
the whole, the whole, all of it.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (11:06):
All of it, all even Deep Space Nine.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_1414 (11:08):
which by the way, I hate it.
We just finished watching it.
I'd never seen it for that one.
Okay.
I'm not surprised that I hatedit because.
I can't imagine living on anisland, like, I feel so trapped.
Whereas all of the other onesare about exploring.
Deep Space Nine is all on oneplay.
(11:31):
Why would I watch that?
It's just a stupid sitcom dramain space instead of an
exploration story.
aimee-guest651_2_0 (11:39):
interesting.
Yeah, I never got into DeepSpace Nine, so I didn't give
myself an opportunity to bedisappointed.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (11:48):
You weren't missing anything,
aimee-guest651_2_01-28- (11:49):
That's, I mean, that's the universal
consensus worldwide, is like,don't bother, so.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (11:56):
but I'd also never watched Voyager.
And I do definitely now have acrush on Janeway.
She is such an amazing boss.
But what I got to tell my newfriend about was Picard.
Have you watched it?
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025_ (12:10):
We watched a little bit of it
before we left the States,, thefirst season, and, You know,
it's, we were both, Shane and Iwere both like, well, you
really, it's not fair to judge aseries by their first season,
but it, I felt, I was super,super, super, super, super
(12:33):
disappointed with the amount ofviolence.
Because it was so above andbeyond what any other Star Trek
series had done.
And they were being, you know,just flashy, and a little too
gratuitous, and a little too,like, looking for opportunities
to be violent.
I'm just like, ugh, God, if Iwanted this shit, pardon my
(12:56):
language, guys, I would just goto a movie theater and watch an
action film.
I don't, Picard is not, that'snot, no, no, that would, no.
So that was super disappointingto me.
There were elements of it Iliked, but, but honestly, the
most exciting part was justseeing visits from the TNG crew,
(13:20):
which doesn't bode well for thefuture of Picard, if that's what
has to carry the show.
So we saw, you know, yeah,there's a new season.
We talked about it, but neitherof us are super excited to dive
into the second season.
Yeah.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_1 (13:36):
entirely opposite response to it.
I thought the treatment of thecontinuation of the Borg story
was really, really well writtenand really interestingly
handled.
And it hit.
All the nostalgia marks that Ineeded and just fed my little,
you know, 80s souls.
I loved that for it.
You know, we had to subscribe toParamount just to watch it.
(13:58):
And I would say it was worth it.
will I re subscribe to watchseason two?
I don't know.
Because I actually found seasonone to satisfy a lot of what I
needed when it came to the Borg.
Because so many of the old Well,I love Star Trek so often the
villains are treated as so onenote
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (14:18):
Yeah.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (14:19):
and one of the things I struggle
with being human is the factthat we are all having such a
universal experience and yet weall feel so alone and I feel
like if, if we could just have aVulcan mind meld or like a week
as the Borg, we'd all be like,Oh, we're all the same.
(14:41):
And I think that could benefitus.
The problem is the Borg won'tlet you out of the cult once
you're in it.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (14:50):
And all they want to do is amass
more.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (14:53):
I know.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (14:54):
So, I mean, that's proof in the
pudding right there that even ifyou get to experience the
collective knowledge andfeelings of others, It doesn't
turn you into a peace lovingbeing.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_1414 (15:09):
know, that's true.
No, that's true.
I mean, and it's all utopianthinking anyway, because there's
no one way to solve foreverything, but it's an
interesting thought experiment
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (15:21):
There are multiple billionaires right
now looking for ways to solveeverything, and I'm sure like
brain chips or something creepylike that is on their to do
list.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (15:31):
if it's not already happening as we
speak.
There are secrets we don't knowabout and we're probably glad we
don't.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (15:38):
And on that dystopian note,
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_1414 (15:41):
Well, I will end with piece of very
happy news, um, which is that Ido officially have a French bank
account.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2 (15:50):
bravo, that's so fantastic.
How does it, how does it feel?
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (15:55):
It feels very, it feels very
official.
It feels, honestly, it feelslike a bigger milestone than it
needs to.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (16:03):
Well, it took so long for it to
happen, of course.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (16:06):
and to be fair to the French, it
actually wasn't that long of aprocess because it was
interrupted, by the holidays andme being in Portugal for three
weeks.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (16:17):
Mm.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (16:18):
So in the end it was four total
meetings and the person at the,BNP, which is the bank was
phenomenal.
Absolutely, really, reallygreat.
so, if there are any expats outthere who are living in France,
Paris specifically, and you needa bank account, let me know
(16:40):
because I am happy to share herinformation with you so that you
can skip at least one of theunnecessary appointments that I
had to go through.
We're here to help, guys, intiny little steps.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (16:51):
Oh, one more question, I'm curious,
how does, how does the processof Damien's healing go, how is
all of that, how is school forhim right now, like how is he
managing that, even though it'shis not dominant arm that's
injured, and is there anyupdates on the medical front?
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141 (17:10):
That's an interesting question.
So, school's actually going justfine.
he can't, what he can't do is hecan't lift his arm above his
shoulder level.
of the mechanisms for that.
But in fact, that's notsomething he has to do in
cooking very often.
Cooking is a lot more backmuscles and bicep triceps.
So he's doing fine.
(17:31):
I suspect it's a little sorethan he lets on because the man
is a beast.
You know, he's just, he's alwaysbeen so physical that he just
kind of ignores pain.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (17:39):
Yeah.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (17:40):
The doctor had said, it's not really
going to make a differencewaiting or doing it immediately.
So.
It's all fine.
The reason it's an interestingquestion is because I don't have
clear answers for you because myhusband is a husband.
As many wives have found,husbands make terrible
administrative assistance.
(18:02):
And I think, I think he has somepaperwork he has to fill out in
order to get the appointment.
And I think he hasn't filled outthat paperwork.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025_ (18:11):
Oh dear.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_1414 (18:12):
don't exactly know, and he doesn't
seem that concerned about it.
So I assume he will get it donebecause he's a grown up.
And it's not my job to motherhim, even though my brain's over
here going, uh, Hey, honey, staytuned.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025_ (18:30):
I, I think that is an incredibly
healthy boundary that you havewith your husband.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (18:37):
You know, I try and we are really
good about actually saying toeach other, can you help me get
this thing done?
Just earlier with something hedid say to me, can you help me
remember to do this?
Or, like, when we went to go gethim some custom suits made, he
said, I want you to come withme.
I want you to help me makechoices.
(18:58):
So I try to be really aware ofwhen he wants me to be all
wifey, and if he doesn't, to tryand back off.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (19:06):
Yeah.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_14144 (19:07):
It's not always easy, but I'm not his
mom.
I'm his wife.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28 (19:11):
Exactly.
Exactly.
And that's like a superimportant distinction that I
think, well, in my firstmarriage anyway, not keeping
that distinction, ended themarriage.
I mean, it's, it's, yeah, it wasa big problem, but we were not,
(19:35):
uh, I didn't have goodboundaries.
He wasn't ready to be an adult,so it didn't work out.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (19:41):
And it can kind of snowball because
what I usually see happen isthat the person who is doing the
nagging gets tired of being themom and being responsible for
everything, even though theykind of took on that role
themselves, the person beingnagged gets tired of being
treated like a child, eventhough they weren't stepping up
to be responsible forthemselves.
(20:03):
And then everybody is mad ateverybody else for doing the
thing that everybody kind ofagreed was going to happen.
In the beginning,
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-202 (20:11):
Ugh.
I couldn't have said thatbetter.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (20:14):
but I think about it a lot because.
In the work that I do with myclients, interior designers
create their own monsterclients.
I use the analogy ofrelationships all the time.
Within the first like threeweeks of dating somebody, who's
going to be like sleeping on theleft side of the bed and who's
(20:35):
responsible for letting the dogout when it barks is already
established and you didn't evenrealize it was happening.
And the same thing happens withour clients.
It's like, Oh, it's fine.
you know, I didn't make themanswer me back quickly or pay
that invoice on time.
I don't want to upset them yetbecause this relationship is
still new.
Well, guess what?
(20:56):
You just created a monsterclient just like in a monster
relationship.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28 (21:01):
Totally.
We teach people how to treat usall the time.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (21:06):
So again, perfectly said.
Alright, well, take some lifelessons, home from that, you
guys.
I'm sure there were some gems inthere.
Some marriage lessons.
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-2025 (21:19):
Big takeaway, don't bother watching
Deep Space Nine.
rebecca_2_01-28-2025_141442 (21:23):
But do consider Picard.
And on that note, à laprochaine!
aimee-guest651_2_01-28-20 (21:29):
Hasta pronto.
We hope you enjoyed this episodeof Bonjola.
If you did, the best thing youcan do is share it with another
person brave enough to moveabroad.
See you next time!
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.