Caregiver Support and Navigating a Loved One's Transition in Care

So, I wanted to start off today on a personal note, as I sometimes do, because as you know, I’m not just a lawyer; I’m also a caregiver. I want to share with you a deeply personal story about my own journey with my 83-year-old mother, who recently had a stroke and is transitioning from independent living to assisted living care.

If you’re facing a similar situation or just trying to prepare for the future, this episode is for you. We’ll talk about the emotional toll, the legal issues that can arise, and the tools you should have in place long before a crisis happens. And yes, we’ll discuss how you can care for yourself as a caregiver because, as many of you know, caregiving is a journey that requires emotional, physical, and legal support.

So, my husband and I have been caregivers for my mother for over ten years now. This went from moving her in with a friend in Florida early on to offer some additional support in their daily lives, to both of them moving in with us for several years. After my mother’s friend passed away, my mother moved to an apartment, which was isolating, and then on to independent living, where she has been for the last five years, until a recent stroke affected her right side and her ability to get up, walk, and move around. This included that hard discussion about where she should go next—straight to a nursing home and the challenge of paying for that—or if she was still a candidate for assisted living, where she could receive care but not feel as though she was an invalid. We had to find that emotional balance, followed by the practical side of necessary care and financial ability. After about six weeks in the hospital and then skilled nursing care, we made some decisions, along with the realization that she was not able to go back to her independent living arrangement. That meant a scary new, unknown frontier for her; loss of friends and familiarity; not to mention trying to pack up all her things and determining what can and should come to the new place versus what she no longer needs, or what we should do with most of the other things that she has accumulated. Not easy stuff.