Start off with an old-school Kids' Sports Update before getting to the movie.
Yor, The Hunter from the Future: A caveman with a backstory, such that there is one, similar to Lonestar in Spaceballs wanders around the Turkish countryside causing mayhem. He meets women. They fall in love with him. Other cavemen come along and destroy shit. Then SUDDENLY, there's space ships and laser beams. Apparently Yor is actually from an advanced civilization! And his civilization is fighting another civilization of bad guys who want to create a world of androids. There is no time travel. This is all happening on the same planet at the same time and no one noticed. Whatever.
Yor, The Movie with the Wordy Title final grade:
Steve: I wanted to like this one, but Antonio Marrrgggeriiitttiii's attempt to take a four-hour mini-series and pare it down to a 90-minute movie probably lost a lot of the plot. Tarzan/Flash Gordon mash-up was too convoluted. 1.8/5.0
Brandon: The first 60 minutes of this movie had nothing to do with the last 30. There wasn't any attempt to tie the Star Wars-y stuff to the caveman stuff. Yor wasn't even from the future. He was just from a different part of the same beachfront property. 1.9/5.0
Cocktail of the Week:
The Cosmic Caveman
1 oz Bourbon
1/2 oz Mezcal
1/2 oz Blue Curaçao
1 oz Pineapple Juice
1/2 oz Fresh-squeezed Lime Juice
1/2 oz Honey Syrup
Angostura Bitters
1/2 oz Over-proof Rum
Combine everything except the rum in a cocktail shaker. Shake to combine and chill, then strain into a rocks glass. Garnish with a lime wheel laid on top. Pour over-proof rum onto lime wheel/chunk and light the rum on fire.
Cocktail Grade: ChatGPT is clearly in the tank for Big Blue Curaçao. Looks like toxic waste. Doesn't taste great. You don't make enough money to support ChatGPT's liquor budget. Really gave Steve some tummy troubles the next morning. 1.3/5.0
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