March 22, 2024 • 20 mins
3/22/24
Botch Job Society
Episode 4 - Culinary Chaos: Hilariously Bad Recipes (Part 1)
WATCH THE VIDEO VERSION ON OUR WEBSITE.
Ever wondered how a seemingly simple dish like Mac and Cheese could turn into a culinary catastrophe? Join us as we laugh our way through the trials of making what might be the internet's worst Mac and Cheese recipe. Picture this: a cheese-to-noodle ratio that defies logic, an oven timer that seems to mock our efforts, and a texture that prompts a collective gag reflex. As we recount each step of this food fiasco, find solace in our shared disbelief and the comedic gems that only a kitchen disaster can provide. No guest dared join us for this episode, but their absence only gave us more room to lament and chuckle over our pasta gone wrong.
[0:00] Intro and Opening
[3:37] Mac and Cheese Recipe
[13:32] Check-In
[14:06] MidwayPoint
[17:12] Final Product and Tasting
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Botch Job Society is produced by Rock Opera Studios.
Hey it's me.
I just wanted to let you knowthat if you are hearing my voice
right now, you can actuallywatch this episode on YouTube
and, trust me, for this kind ofan episode, it definitely is
worth watching rather thanlistening.
So make sure to check out ourYouTube channel.
You can find the link on ourwebsite or you can go to
(00:22):
youtubecom At Botch Job Society.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
This one here.
Let me tell you like he's afailure.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Can you see how?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
maybe it would have been a failure.
Alright, guys, unconventionalintro.
Today there's no couch, noheadphones, no colorful
microphones.
We're gonna cook.
(01:27):
We're gonna cook some reallybad cooking, but before we get
to the fun, tell the peoplewhere they can find us.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
You can find us everywhere at Botch Job Society.
That's Facebook.
I almost said Twitter.
It's always Twitter, Twitter,Instagram, TikTok threads and I
think that's it.
They're really good.
We probably didn't post it inthe video.
I was very ready for asix-in-two All right, but yeah,
(01:59):
at Bosh Shops Society, you canalso check out our website,
boshshopssocietycom.
I would highly recommend itbecause there are lots of
interesting things on there tocheck out, not just the episodes
, but we've got a Hall ofFailure put up there where you
can get more detail about someof the things that we're
experiencing, and there's amerch store on there as well,
(02:20):
and it's really just the oneplace to go to find out more and
try to support us, which wedesperately are in need of.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
So yeah, I need support.
I don't get enough at home.
Also, it's a beautiful website.
Yeah, it's just a very nicewebsite, so I'd appreciate if
you took the time to look at it.
Buy a t-shirt please.
All right, let's go cook somebad food.
What do you say?
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
So what we're doing is cooking two recipes.
We're doing a sort of an entreedinner and then we have a
dessert, but these recipes arethe worst rated.
One of them is from all recipesand the other one, I think, is
from the Food Network.
At least two stars, no higherthan three.
So you know that these are notgoing to be well received.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Yeah, they're probably going to be really
gross.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Well seeing the ingredients list.
Not even the ingredients list,just the instructions.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
The process.
Yeah, what is this?
If you're familiar with socialmedia in general, you've seen
videos of white women cookingvery bad food.
And it's like that has to be onpurpose, because many jokes as
you make about white peoplecooking, there's no way that's
really how you'd cook that.
Yeah, that's what we have heretoday.
So, like I said before, makingreally bad mac and cheese, like
(03:45):
you see the white ladies onTikTok do.
So this is all I'm using, allright, I'm not cooking any
noodles, I'm not making a roux,I'm not, as a black person, if
you're watching this, don't takemy black card.
This is not how I would makemac and cheese.
Just so we're clear.
I'm just going to follow thebad recipe.
It's what?
Two stars, two and a half,something like that.
(04:06):
This one's two and a half, twoand a half.
All right, I can't read.
Bear with me.
Oven's already preheated.
We're good to go.
Now.
I'm just going to place theseblocks of cheese in here.
You know what?
Let me be a good cook.
Wash my hands a little bit.
We'll be right back after thismessage.
I got some cheese here.
(04:31):
I don't know if either, if anyof you are familiar with fontina
cheese.
Never heard of it.
I'm going to take a smalllittle dab of this to taste it,
but we're going to throw thewhole block in here.
Can I open this without cuttingit.
No, I'm not.
Note to Chris for futurereference.
I got big hands, man.
(04:51):
You're going to need somebigger spoons than that.
Oh, sorry.
I thought my finger was going toget stuck.
All right, I do have some.
Do you want some?
No, it's fine.
It's fine.
We're just going to take asmall little chunk off the end
here.
All right, that didn't come outas planned.
Cut that in half.
I'll take some of this cheese.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I don't know how I feel about that yet.
I'm trying to figure out whatit's similar to.
It's similar to something yeah,now let it sit on my palate for
a while.
Fontina cheese boom, right inthe pan.
Now we got some sharp cheddar.
Okie dokie, I've put my twoblocks in the center of my pan.
(05:38):
Ah, pour the pasta.
How many cups of pasta is this?
Even?
All right.
Now the interesting thing aboutthis recipe again, it's one pan,
so you're probably used to youboil the noodles on the side, or
something.
If you're a Velveeta guy, youboil the noodles and spray it,
(06:00):
put the powder in there, orsomething.
We're just putting thisstraight in the pan with the
cheese.
I don't really know what'sgoing on.
Two cups of uncooked macaroniI'm measuring a cup, and all my
chingolang is going on here withall the cups.
Cup one into the bowl, boom Cuptwo into the bowl.
(06:22):
So at this point I've got mycheese and my dry noodles.
Now we are ready to Let me see.
Pour half and half directly ontop of the pasta.
I have to spread it evenlyaround the cheese, though.
Hold on, you wonder, when yousee recipes like this, chris,
(06:43):
like who comes up with this crap?
You know.
I hope that what you cook isgonna be much more like
understandable.
I can't believe that I'm doingthis right now.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Now do you?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
just put it around the cheese, or on top of the
cheese, I don't know, spreadingevenly around the cheese All
right get off my cheese blocks.
You all saw me wash my hands inour quick intermission.
All right, don't come at meabout my dirty, grubby hands.
I would say this is prettyevenly spread.
(07:13):
This is actually pissing me offalready.
Doesn't make sense.
Okay, pour our half and half.
How much half and half do weneed?
One and a half cups, See what Idid there.
All right, that's one cup.
This looks so good.
(07:34):
This is so stupid.
That's a two thirds cup.
Here's my half.
Forgive me for all my clankingaround.
Here's my half cup.
I didn't claim to be aprofessional when it comes to
(07:56):
bad cooking.
Now, regular cooking, I wouldhave killed it.
This, we're just gonna make alittle bit of a mess.
So I got my half and halfdirectly on top of the pasta
Stir until evenly coated.
So all right, we're just gonnaimprovise here.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Do you want a real spoon?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
No, it's fine, maybe, yeah, I'll take a real spoon.
What do you got over here?
Yeah, there we go.
I'll give you a big one, bigold spoon for a big bowl of
noodles.
You ever stir dry macaroni.
It's kind of like when you'rewanting to, you know, when you
first pour a bowl of cereal andyou want to crunch it down in
there.
It's not at all like that.
(08:34):
It's not nearly as satisfying,it's actually kind of gross.
Just gonna really get in hereWatch me stir.
It's hard to stir somethingwhen you got two blocks of
cheese right in the middle andyou told me to spread it evenly
and then I'm gonna pause andthen I'm sitting here like
(08:55):
moving it all around.
All right, I'm gonna considerthat stirred it's not supposed
to be good mac and cheese anyway.
If it were, they would havedone it the right way.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah, I don't know why you're trying to make it
good man it's hard to attach myname to something this odd.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Okay, I stirred my half and half in there.
That's good old cracked pepperhere, just open already.
Yeah, there it is.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
With the amount of cheese in this, it's like they
don't want us to poop later.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Yeah, you're gonna feel this one.
For a couple days maybe.
Yeah, gotta get an adequateamount of pepper in there.
Let's breathe that in, get agood sneeze going.
You know what I mean?
All right, peppers in there,salt.
Nothing says improvement likesalt.
I guess this recipe is notgonna get better.
(09:46):
Doesn't matter what you put init.
It's always hard to tell howmuch salt you're putting in,
especially when it's covered inmilk.
Can't really see.
I'm always a fan of salt.
Later we're just gonna maybeone more little dash.
A little bit of extra came outthere, all right, so now I'm
gonna sprinkle with my cheese,which one Both of my cheese is
(10:11):
actually.
So I've got some white cheddarand some mozzarella.
That was backwards.
This is white cheddar, this ismozzarella.
I'm gonna use a fourth cup ofeach.
I think like if you actuallyknow how to make macaroni and
cheese, nobody really monitorslike, oh, you need precisely
(10:32):
this much cheese.
You just kinda go with it.
So we're gonna put a littleextra, just slightly.
We're slightly gonna break therules.
This podcast is bought to youby nine experts, so I'm not
gonna be too strict about mymeasurements.
Right, that's my white cheddarthere.
Seal that back up.
Don't want your cheese gettingdry and hard.
(10:52):
You know you gotta lock themoisture in.
Now we are onto our mozzarella,which is a fresh batch.
Share this open like theLeviathan.
That I am All right, let's getinto it.
You know I actually fun factused to really enjoy Food
Network, Not to the point that Ithought about pursuing culinary
(11:15):
arts or anything, but like Iused to love watching chopped
emerald Rachael Ray, all thatstuff.
Any of you guys watch this andyou know wanna throw me some
cutlery, I'd be down.
Let me host the next cookingshow.
This is all messy.
This is a shame.
Okay, All the cheese is inthere.
Now what?
We just throw it in and bakeApparently.
(11:38):
This is dumb.
This is actually upsetting meand my homegirls.
Try to spread this cheese alittle evenly, Make sure every
little piece, because you knowthat you got the big blocks
right in the middle.
That's the foundation, but youwant the sprinkled cheese to
cover everything in between.
That's just one fourth cupdoesn't feel like nearly enough
(11:59):
of either cheese, but at thesame time you have a huge block
in the middle.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
That's gonna be my problem.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Grab a paper towel here.
Some of this milk around theedges off, all right, so now
we're gonna pop this bad boy inthe oven for 25 minutes.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Yeah, for mac and cheese.
This is gonna take a long time.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Because it's 25, and then you stir and add the milk,
and then another 25.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Right and then another 25.
Whereas you know, maybe if youjust cook the noodles and then
already had your cheese melteddown, like you should, you just
pour it over the cheese, mix itin, pop it in the oven for a
little bit, just to get a goodbrowning going.
You know, but these peopledon't know nothing about mac and
cheese.
It's all good, now we put itinto the oven.
(12:44):
Ah, myself I love to watch whenI cook.
It's there a light?
There's gotta be a light buttonhere somewhere, right?
Guess not, there is.
Am I blind?
I am, I don't have all myglasses, guys.
Yeah, there you go.
25 minutes.
Let me set my timer.
Come on, is that the timer?
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Yeah, oh, I've never I I've never seen a timer.
I've never seen a timer.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
I've never seen a timer, I've never seen a timer?
Speaker 1 (13:13):
I've never seen a timer.
I've never.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
I just use my phone, yeah man, you know you gotta
embrace the full experience.
So I guess I'll take a quicklittle break and kill some time
while I wait on my mac andcheese.
I got more coming.
Stay tuned.
We had about four minutes leftuntil this disaster is finished.
(13:37):
I'm just gonna take a look realquick before we pull it out and
stir it around.
Do you want to get in here?
See what this beautiful thinglooks like?
That might be one of the mostdisgusting looking things I've
ever seen in my life.
(13:57):
So in a minute here I'm gonnapull it out, stir some milk in
it and then put it right back infor another 25 minutes.
Oh, do you guys hear that it'stime to pull this mac out?
So, guys, it's time we're gonnapull this thing out.
See ya, okay, I heard you.
(14:18):
If I can get both of them, it'son, mmm, smells delicious.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
It doesn't?
It smells pretty bad.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
If you want to, can you shut your mouth?
We got it on this camera here.
We're gonna have some othercameras seeing it.
It doesn't look great.
It doesn't really lookappetizing whatsoever.
Not something I look forward toeating.
Now we're gonna put some milkin it and stir it.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
See a half a cup, because you know we need more
dairy in there.
Yeah, if there wasn't enough.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Like Ew, you know what I mean.
Like it's just, it's not great,pull a little homelander action
here, boom, if you know, youknow, try not to make a mess
this time.
Half cup of milk here into thepan.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
I cannot get over this melt.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
It's just a little too cheesy.
Yeah, it's a little too cheesy.
We're gonna toss that in thesink.
Put our cat back on the milk.
Oh, that's all the milk.
Get that out of it.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
No, okay.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
That was all the milk it needed.
Yeah, it's literally just halfcup.
Okay, which I mean almost.
Why Like?
Why do you even this Fidegocheese?
What is this Fontina?
It's not melted.
Why are you still talking?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
about it Because it's free.
Oh okay, Got it.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
These noodles aren't like softened up or anything.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
I mean it does have another 25 minutes to go.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
They're still solid, but is this that we're cooking
here?
You are tuned into thenon-experts network watching
Bot's Job Cooking and get inclose on this.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
You see this cheese.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
This is like a cheese stick.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Oh wait, Look at that .
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Good pull, tasty.
I could just that's not whatyou want Barf in my mouth right
now.
He mixed this all around.
Was I even supposed to mix it?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Okay, I had to make sure and cook until it's golden
and bubbly.
Not going to happen, brother, Idon't know.
I just actually got to make himwant to throw up.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
This isn't good.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
It feels like there's not nearly enough noodles
versus cheese.
Yes, it's too cheesy.
Yeah, just a little too cheesy.
Get this oven open and throwthis back in here A little
longer than a few minutes later.
It's time to get some nastyMatt going.
I'm telling you this isn'tgonna be good.
(17:17):
It's not gonna look good either.
Good and soupy.
It's like a steamy cereal, mmtasty.
All right, let's see what wegot here.
Oh, it's golden brown.
You know, I'm not gonna lie.
If I didn't know better, I'dthink maybe it'd be okay.
(17:37):
Okay, shut up, don't rush meNow.
The real problem is you wannastir it because you feel like it
needs to be stirred?
Yeah, but at the same time,when you get a good mac and
cheese out of the oven, youreally just gotta get your
corner and go for it.
I feel like I need to justadmire what we've done here
(18:00):
today.
You know this is.
It doesn't smell as bad now asit did 20 minutes ago.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, yeah, it's a little more cheesy.
Yeah, mm-hmm Ugh, although Istill think it's just burnt milk
smell.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
A little bit.
Or burnt cream from the halfand half.
If we can just get a littleyeah, it's not even okay.
I also don't think the crust isgonna be cooked.
I think it's gonna be a littlecrunchy.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
It says crunchy Yummy .
I've never not wanted to eatsomething so bad in my life.
Mm, it's really good.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, chris, get in here, let'sswap.
(18:56):
Yeah, I think I'm like you.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Oh yeah, just it's.
It's just the burning smell onthe top is not, is not pleasant
Okay.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
It's getting real good on this bite.
Oh, oh, there we go.
It's just, it's just, it's just, there we go.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
It's so greasy too.
Yeah, this it's probablybecause of the.
The cheese that's used mightjust be a greasy cheese, but it
just looks so greasy.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
I like this one, you're nasty Mm Like initially.
You wanna say oh, it's notterrible.
And then you keep chewing it.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Oh, the aftertaste is really bad.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
I mean, it's just straight cheese.
That's that fontino.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
It's cheese, but it's just, it's just I keep saying
it it's just burnt dairy, it'snot good and some of the pasta
isn't cooked either.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
No, it's just hard.
I think I wanna like it, causeI'm actually very hungry.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
This is just not.
I bought my appetite hopingthat it'd be something decent
that we were thinking of cookingup today, and it's just not.
I'm no bangers.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
It isn't a banger.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
So there's the one pan mac and cheese.
I'm sure you're very glad thatyou watched it.
Now you get to see what Chrishas in store for us.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Move on to dessert.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
I'm gonna be right back.
Botch Job Society is produced by Rock Opera Studios.
Hey it's me.
I just wanted to let you knowthat if you are hearing my voice
right now, you can actuallywatch this episode on YouTube
and, trust me, for this kind ofan episode, it definitely is
worth watching rather thanlistening.
So make sure to check out ourYouTube channel.
You can find the link on ourwebsite or you can go to
(00:22):
youtubecom At Botch Job Society.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
This one here.
Let me tell you like he's afailure.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Can you see how?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
maybe it would have been a failure.
Alright, guys, unconventionalintro.
Today there's no couch, noheadphones, no colorful
microphones.
We're gonna cook.
(01:27):
We're gonna cook some reallybad cooking, but before we get
to the fun, tell the peoplewhere they can find us.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
You can find us everywhere at Botch Job Society.
That's Facebook.
I almost said Twitter.
It's always Twitter, Twitter,Instagram, TikTok threads and I
think that's it.
They're really good.
We probably didn't post it inthe video.
I was very ready for asix-in-two All right, but yeah,
(01:59):
at Bosh Shops Society, you canalso check out our website,
boshshopssocietycom.
I would highly recommend itbecause there are lots of
interesting things on there tocheck out, not just the episodes
, but we've got a Hall ofFailure put up there where you
can get more detail about someof the things that we're
experiencing, and there's amerch store on there as well,
(02:20):
and it's really just the oneplace to go to find out more and
try to support us, which wedesperately are in need of.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
So yeah, I need support.
I don't get enough at home.
Also, it's a beautiful website.
Yeah, it's just a very nicewebsite, so I'd appreciate if
you took the time to look at it.
Buy a t-shirt please.
All right, let's go cook somebad food.
What do you say?
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
So what we're doing is cooking two recipes.
We're doing a sort of an entreedinner and then we have a
dessert, but these recipes arethe worst rated.
One of them is from all recipesand the other one, I think, is
from the Food Network.
At least two stars, no higherthan three.
So you know that these are notgoing to be well received.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Yeah, they're probably going to be really
gross.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Well seeing the ingredients list.
Not even the ingredients list,just the instructions.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
The process.
Yeah, what is this?
If you're familiar with socialmedia in general, you've seen
videos of white women cookingvery bad food.
And it's like that has to be onpurpose, because many jokes as
you make about white peoplecooking, there's no way that's
really how you'd cook that.
Yeah, that's what we have heretoday.
So, like I said before, makingreally bad mac and cheese, like
(03:45):
you see the white ladies onTikTok do.
So this is all I'm using, allright, I'm not cooking any
noodles, I'm not making a roux,I'm not, as a black person, if
you're watching this, don't takemy black card.
This is not how I would makemac and cheese.
Just so we're clear.
I'm just going to follow thebad recipe.
It's what?
Two stars, two and a half,something like that.
(04:06):
This one's two and a half, twoand a half.
All right, I can't read.
Bear with me.
Oven's already preheated.
We're good to go.
Now.
I'm just going to place theseblocks of cheese in here.
You know what?
Let me be a good cook.
Wash my hands a little bit.
We'll be right back after thismessage.
I got some cheese here.
(04:31):
I don't know if either, if anyof you are familiar with fontina
cheese.
Never heard of it.
I'm going to take a smalllittle dab of this to taste it,
but we're going to throw thewhole block in here.
Can I open this without cuttingit.
No, I'm not.
Note to Chris for futurereference.
I got big hands, man.
(04:51):
You're going to need somebigger spoons than that.
Oh, sorry.
I thought my finger was going toget stuck.
All right, I do have some.
Do you want some?
No, it's fine.
It's fine.
We're just going to take asmall little chunk off the end
here.
All right, that didn't come outas planned.
Cut that in half.
I'll take some of this cheese.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I don't know how I feel about that yet.
I'm trying to figure out whatit's similar to.
It's similar to something yeah,now let it sit on my palate for
a while.
Fontina cheese boom, right inthe pan.
Now we got some sharp cheddar.
Okie dokie, I've put my twoblocks in the center of my pan.
(05:38):
Ah, pour the pasta.
How many cups of pasta is this?
Even?
All right.
Now the interesting thing aboutthis recipe again, it's one pan,
so you're probably used to youboil the noodles on the side, or
something.
If you're a Velveeta guy, youboil the noodles and spray it,
(06:00):
put the powder in there, orsomething.
We're just putting thisstraight in the pan with the
cheese.
I don't really know what'sgoing on.
Two cups of uncooked macaroniI'm measuring a cup, and all my
chingolang is going on here withall the cups.
Cup one into the bowl, boom Cuptwo into the bowl.
(06:22):
So at this point I've got mycheese and my dry noodles.
Now we are ready to Let me see.
Pour half and half directly ontop of the pasta.
I have to spread it evenlyaround the cheese, though.
Hold on, you wonder, when yousee recipes like this, chris,
(06:43):
like who comes up with this crap?
You know.
I hope that what you cook isgonna be much more like
understandable.
I can't believe that I'm doingthis right now.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Now do you?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
just put it around the cheese, or on top of the
cheese, I don't know, spreadingevenly around the cheese All
right get off my cheese blocks.
You all saw me wash my hands inour quick intermission.
All right, don't come at meabout my dirty, grubby hands.
I would say this is prettyevenly spread.
(07:13):
This is actually pissing me offalready.
Doesn't make sense.
Okay, pour our half and half.
How much half and half do weneed?
One and a half cups, See what Idid there.
All right, that's one cup.
This looks so good.
(07:34):
This is so stupid.
That's a two thirds cup.
Here's my half.
Forgive me for all my clankingaround.
Here's my half cup.
I didn't claim to be aprofessional when it comes to
(07:56):
bad cooking.
Now, regular cooking, I wouldhave killed it.
This, we're just gonna make alittle bit of a mess.
So I got my half and halfdirectly on top of the pasta
Stir until evenly coated.
So all right, we're just gonnaimprovise here.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Do you want a real spoon?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
No, it's fine, maybe, yeah, I'll take a real spoon.
What do you got over here?
Yeah, there we go.
I'll give you a big one, bigold spoon for a big bowl of
noodles.
You ever stir dry macaroni.
It's kind of like when you'rewanting to, you know, when you
first pour a bowl of cereal andyou want to crunch it down in
there.
It's not at all like that.
(08:34):
It's not nearly as satisfying,it's actually kind of gross.
Just gonna really get in hereWatch me stir.
It's hard to stir somethingwhen you got two blocks of
cheese right in the middle andyou told me to spread it evenly
and then I'm gonna pause andthen I'm sitting here like
(08:55):
moving it all around.
All right, I'm gonna considerthat stirred it's not supposed
to be good mac and cheese anyway.
If it were, they would havedone it the right way.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah, I don't know why you're trying to make it
good man it's hard to attach myname to something this odd.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Okay, I stirred my half and half in there.
That's good old cracked pepperhere, just open already.
Yeah, there it is.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
With the amount of cheese in this, it's like they
don't want us to poop later.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Yeah, you're gonna feel this one.
For a couple days maybe.
Yeah, gotta get an adequateamount of pepper in there.
Let's breathe that in, get agood sneeze going.
You know what I mean?
All right, peppers in there,salt.
Nothing says improvement likesalt.
I guess this recipe is notgonna get better.
(09:46):
Doesn't matter what you put init.
It's always hard to tell howmuch salt you're putting in,
especially when it's covered inmilk.
Can't really see.
I'm always a fan of salt.
Later we're just gonna maybeone more little dash.
A little bit of extra came outthere, all right, so now I'm
gonna sprinkle with my cheese,which one Both of my cheese is
(10:11):
actually.
So I've got some white cheddarand some mozzarella.
That was backwards.
This is white cheddar, this ismozzarella.
I'm gonna use a fourth cup ofeach.
I think like if you actuallyknow how to make macaroni and
cheese, nobody really monitorslike, oh, you need precisely
(10:32):
this much cheese.
You just kinda go with it.
So we're gonna put a littleextra, just slightly.
We're slightly gonna break therules.
This podcast is bought to youby nine experts, so I'm not
gonna be too strict about mymeasurements.
Right, that's my white cheddarthere.
Seal that back up.
Don't want your cheese gettingdry and hard.
(10:52):
You know you gotta lock themoisture in.
Now we are onto our mozzarella,which is a fresh batch.
Share this open like theLeviathan.
That I am All right, let's getinto it.
You know I actually fun factused to really enjoy Food
Network, Not to the point that Ithought about pursuing culinary
(11:15):
arts or anything, but like Iused to love watching chopped
emerald Rachael Ray, all thatstuff.
Any of you guys watch this andyou know wanna throw me some
cutlery, I'd be down.
Let me host the next cookingshow.
This is all messy.
This is a shame.
Okay, All the cheese is inthere.
Now what?
We just throw it in and bakeApparently.
(11:38):
This is dumb.
This is actually upsetting meand my homegirls.
Try to spread this cheese alittle evenly, Make sure every
little piece, because you knowthat you got the big blocks
right in the middle.
That's the foundation, but youwant the sprinkled cheese to
cover everything in between.
That's just one fourth cupdoesn't feel like nearly enough
(11:59):
of either cheese, but at thesame time you have a huge block
in the middle.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
That's gonna be my problem.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Grab a paper towel here.
Some of this milk around theedges off, all right, so now
we're gonna pop this bad boy inthe oven for 25 minutes.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Yeah, for mac and cheese.
This is gonna take a long time.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Because it's 25, and then you stir and add the milk,
and then another 25.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Right and then another 25.
Whereas you know, maybe if youjust cook the noodles and then
already had your cheese melteddown, like you should, you just
pour it over the cheese, mix itin, pop it in the oven for a
little bit, just to get a goodbrowning going.
You know, but these peopledon't know nothing about mac and
cheese.
It's all good, now we put itinto the oven.
(12:44):
Ah, myself I love to watch whenI cook.
It's there a light?
There's gotta be a light buttonhere somewhere, right?
Guess not, there is.
Am I blind?
I am, I don't have all myglasses, guys.
Yeah, there you go.
25 minutes.
Let me set my timer.
Come on, is that the timer?
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Yeah, oh, I've never I I've never seen a timer.
I've never seen a timer.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
I've never seen a timer, I've never seen a timer?
Speaker 1 (13:13):
I've never seen a timer.
I've never.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
I just use my phone, yeah man, you know you gotta
embrace the full experience.
So I guess I'll take a quicklittle break and kill some time
while I wait on my mac andcheese.
I got more coming.
Stay tuned.
We had about four minutes leftuntil this disaster is finished.
(13:37):
I'm just gonna take a look realquick before we pull it out and
stir it around.
Do you want to get in here?
See what this beautiful thinglooks like?
That might be one of the mostdisgusting looking things I've
ever seen in my life.
(13:57):
So in a minute here I'm gonnapull it out, stir some milk in
it and then put it right back infor another 25 minutes.
Oh, do you guys hear that it'stime to pull this mac out?
So, guys, it's time we're gonnapull this thing out.
See ya, okay, I heard you.
(14:18):
If I can get both of them, it'son, mmm, smells delicious.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
It doesn't?
It smells pretty bad.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
If you want to, can you shut your mouth?
We got it on this camera here.
We're gonna have some othercameras seeing it.
It doesn't look great.
It doesn't really lookappetizing whatsoever.
Not something I look forward toeating.
Now we're gonna put some milkin it and stir it.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
See a half a cup, because you know we need more
dairy in there.
Yeah, if there wasn't enough.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Like Ew, you know what I mean.
Like it's just, it's not great,pull a little homelander action
here, boom, if you know, youknow, try not to make a mess
this time.
Half cup of milk here into thepan.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
I cannot get over this melt.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
It's just a little too cheesy.
Yeah, it's a little too cheesy.
We're gonna toss that in thesink.
Put our cat back on the milk.
Oh, that's all the milk.
Get that out of it.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
No, okay.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
That was all the milk it needed.
Yeah, it's literally just halfcup.
Okay, which I mean almost.
Why Like?
Why do you even this Fidegocheese?
What is this Fontina?
It's not melted.
Why are you still talking?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
about it Because it's free.
Oh okay, Got it.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
These noodles aren't like softened up or anything.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
I mean it does have another 25 minutes to go.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
They're still solid, but is this that we're cooking
here?
You are tuned into thenon-experts network watching
Bot's Job Cooking and get inclose on this.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
You see this cheese.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
This is like a cheese stick.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Oh wait, Look at that .
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Good pull, tasty.
I could just that's not whatyou want Barf in my mouth right
now.
He mixed this all around.
Was I even supposed to mix it?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Okay, I had to make sure and cook until it's golden
and bubbly.
Not going to happen, brother, Idon't know.
I just actually got to make himwant to throw up.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
This isn't good.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
It feels like there's not nearly enough noodles
versus cheese.
Yes, it's too cheesy.
Yeah, just a little too cheesy.
Get this oven open and throwthis back in here A little
longer than a few minutes later.
It's time to get some nastyMatt going.
I'm telling you this isn'tgonna be good.
(17:17):
It's not gonna look good either.
Good and soupy.
It's like a steamy cereal, mmtasty.
All right, let's see what wegot here.
Oh, it's golden brown.
You know, I'm not gonna lie.
If I didn't know better, I'dthink maybe it'd be okay.
(17:37):
Okay, shut up, don't rush meNow.
The real problem is you wannastir it because you feel like it
needs to be stirred?
Yeah, but at the same time,when you get a good mac and
cheese out of the oven, youreally just gotta get your
corner and go for it.
I feel like I need to justadmire what we've done here
(18:00):
today.
You know this is.
It doesn't smell as bad now asit did 20 minutes ago.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, yeah, it's a little more cheesy.
Yeah, mm-hmm Ugh, although Istill think it's just burnt milk
smell.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
A little bit.
Or burnt cream from the halfand half.
If we can just get a littleyeah, it's not even okay.
I also don't think the crust isgonna be cooked.
I think it's gonna be a littlecrunchy.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
It says crunchy Yummy .
I've never not wanted to eatsomething so bad in my life.
Mm, it's really good.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, chris, get in here, let'sswap.
(18:56):
Yeah, I think I'm like you.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Oh yeah, just it's.
It's just the burning smell onthe top is not, is not pleasant
Okay.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
It's getting real good on this bite.
Oh, oh, there we go.
It's just, it's just, it's just, there we go.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
It's so greasy too.
Yeah, this it's probablybecause of the.
The cheese that's used mightjust be a greasy cheese, but it
just looks so greasy.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
I like this one, you're nasty Mm Like initially.
You wanna say oh, it's notterrible.
And then you keep chewing it.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Oh, the aftertaste is really bad.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
I mean, it's just straight cheese.
That's that fontino.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
It's cheese, but it's just, it's just I keep saying
it it's just burnt dairy, it'snot good and some of the pasta
isn't cooked either.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
No, it's just hard.
I think I wanna like it, causeI'm actually very hungry.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
This is just not.
I bought my appetite hopingthat it'd be something decent
that we were thinking of cookingup today, and it's just not.
I'm no bangers.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
It isn't a banger.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
So there's the one pan mac and cheese.
I'm sure you're very glad thatyou watched it.
Now you get to see what Chrishas in store for us.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Move on to dessert.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
I'm gonna be right back.
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