March 8, 2024 • 28 mins
3/8/24
Botch Job Society
Episode 2 - Flock-umentary of Disaster: Watching "Birdemic"
WATCH THE VIDEO VERSION ON OUR WEBSITE.
Prepare to be regaled with tales of cinematic chaos as we dissect the absurdity that is "Birdemic: Shock and Terror," the movie that flaps its wings triumphantly at the face of logic. Swoop in on our laughter-laden commentary, where we scrutinize everything from director James Nguyen's baffling creative decisions to the film’s laughable special effects – all while pondering the enigma of its budget.
It's a masterclass in failure, from the prolonged driving scenes that test the limits of our attention spans to the green screen antics that'll have you questioning whether you're watching a movie or an avant-garde art piece.
Trust us, it's going to be a bumpy flight.
[0:00] Opening and Intro
[0:51] "Birdemic" Intro
[1:41] Commentary Begins
[15:55] Bird Attacks Begin
[24:28] Closing
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Today we are delving into the very interesting
territory of bad movies.
But I can tell you, you're infirst week.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
You're about to be bad.
You're about to be bad.
This is about to be bad.
This one here, let me tell youlike he's a filly.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Can you see how maybe it would have been a failure?
This is another one that's sortof known as being the worst
movie ever made.
It's called Bird Demek, Shockand Terror.
(00:56):
It was released in 2010.
So about 14 years old.
Yeah, it's old, but when youwatch it it looks older than
2010.
Directed by this guy namedJames Wynn, the budget, I
believe, was about $10,000,which I'm surprised when you
(01:19):
watch, it be surprised there waseven a budget.
I've only seen clips because Ididn't want to watch something
that I've already seen, so I'veonly seen clips.
I haven't seen the whole thingall the way through.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Bird Demek Shock and Terror.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
We have a nice, beautiful ocean vista.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
It's like the old Jaws movie or something.
Yeah, this is not made in 2010.
And that's what I told you.
I told you it's pretty dated.
Dated yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Okay, what are these sweeping shots of nothing, yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
It's driving Midwest hillsides.
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
This is totally somebody just sitting in the
passenger seat.
Bird Demek Shock and TerrorShock and.
Terror.
Definitely somebody justsitting in the passenger seat
holding the camera 100%.
Okay, Usually when it's adirector, writer, editor combo,
you know it's going to be.
Need some other people in thatthink tank, exactly, and other
(02:24):
people will be like this is howwe should do this.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
St Charles.
No Well, they went to the mostlike middle of nowhere town.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I'm really glad that we showed him driving to
wherever he's going rightinstead of just being there.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Where we had like the five-minute mark, just driving
literally we're gonna show himwalking the whole.
This slow choppy pan.
You at least cut it to like, ashe's already doing it.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
It's like they went and go that's literally yeah,
and it's not too fast and veryfast.
Go a little slower.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I know.
No, stop, let me get behind you, go again.
See this is Russian woman doingin the middle of Idaho.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
This audio editing is atrocious.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
She's giving early 2000s camera Diaz.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I dig it yeah walking out like a model.
Oh, we have a visitor, so blue,he's just gonna insert himself
in the situation.
All right, what's going on?
I gotta get her number.
She was so hot.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
What, what he's a creep.
Yeah, he's a stalker, yeah 100%.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Oh, that's why she was walking that way.
She's a fashion model.
Yeah so it wasn't.
It was a character choice,right.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
If she had any other roles, she would have been
normal.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yeah, she had an in-body the slayer, this, this
Reeks of somebody going well,she's a model, so she has to
look like a model, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
But then there's that walk right and not to say that
I'm an acting expert, right, butunless you want to hire me.
But when your lines are thissimple, like just a conversation
, high school girl, you rememberwhy does it feel so like?
Oh, I remember now we were inmath together.
I said two C's behind you.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Oh, wow, you remember that far.
Yeah, I do.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
This morning, flux of seagulls and crows were found
dead in downtown San Jose andalong highway 101.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
What is this new shot ?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Super far out, but it's still crap to be the
perfect like the difficulty offinding there we go such as
seals.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
You can see the green .
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Glow on her shoulder from the green screen.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
All right are we gonna have him driving?
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Here we go, more driving.
Now I'm getting in the car, butnow I'm getting in the car from
the left side.
Okay, interior shot now.
Oh.
Now we're on the right side.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
So there's a rule in film school called the 180.
Yeah, yeah rule where you, thecamera, just not supposed to
cross this line.
Yeah, it's gonna stay here.
I know your times was so far.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
If they spent half as much time and thought, yeah, I
say they, james is the only oneto blame.
If James meant half as muchtime and thought into Maybe
dialogue or anything else aboutthe first ten minutes of this
movie, rather than a Copiousamounts of shots of driving.
Maybe we'd have a better filmhere.
Choppy pans yeah, there you go.
(05:34):
Oh Nope, you don't want to losehim.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Watch it, watch it, watch it, watch it watch out
brother.
See he's walking like like heknows he's being filmed.
Yeah and that's what frustratesme just walk bro.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
What does it take to win your business today?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Mm-hmm okay, so salesman.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Okay, I'll give you that and 50% discount.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Oh, he's a bad salesman.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
All right, 50%, you got me you twisted my arm.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
We appreciate your business.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Way to go.
Celebrating on his own what'swith all the noise?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
The most like like lackluster woohoo and someone.
What's all that noise?
Hey, hey, I'm glad down in hereif that's the venue.
Yeah, that you're modelingMaybe you're not a model
Cultural appropriation, you knowmore cultural or provision.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Yeah, yeah, she could have taken Scarlett Johansson
spot meta.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Ghost of the show yeah yeah, or Emma Stone in
Aloha God.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Nothing says Pacific Island or Asian like white woman
, yeah okay, I'll talk to yousoon, okay, okay.
Okay, man, I said bye 30seconds ago.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Get off the phone.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Joe made one sale, mm-hmm, now Joe's getting back
in that car.
Oh, I'm tired, a long, hard dayat work.
I should call Natalie, tell herabout my sale.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
I know good Vietnamese restaurant.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Sounds delicious, it's gonna take you to a
Vietnamese restaurant.
She, she knew.
That's why she was taking allthose Asian cultured pictures.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
She was like there you go.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
She's really into.
She's a vehicle.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
She's like um what do they call him the wee boo?
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Whoo, he's killing me .
I know, man, what's with thisweather a heat wave in winter.
You're not even sweating.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
He waited winter.
Apparently you've never been toMissouri, oh hello 70 something
degrees and 50.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Yeah, a day without sex is a day wasted a day
without sex.
I just want them to stop moving.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
I know the cameras is constantly moving, I think that
there's a dramatic pain.
Yeah, he said that's how youmake a good movie.
Just.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Constantly moving, still still down in the corner.
Side note this is adorable.
Hmm, this is adorable.
I'm just gonna get up here.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Cuddle up.
I'm gonna get up here, I'mgonna get up here.
I'm just gonna get up here andcuddle up.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
He's not even watching.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Well, we got a movie to watch.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Hi, my name is Jerry Owens.
I'm from Solar PowerAccessories.
We have an appointment to fitEverything.
Da, da, da, da da.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Da, da, da, da da.
Da, da, da da da, I can recitesix lines at a time.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Here's the estimate I was telling you about.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Even that looks fake, I'm not gonna lie to you.
Tnkpoo looks totally fake, man,she just gets hit by a car.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Hey bro.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I've never seen pictures in like an Asian
restaurant that's like peopleworking on agriculture.
They're usually like reallynice, like scenic backdrops or
something.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Also, this is a fake restaurant.
There's no kid doing homeworkat one of the tables.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
There's always a kid doing homework.
Either that, or like helpingout, like grabbing stuff off the
table yeah, prepping food or,yeah, grabbing places.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Rolling silverware yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
I like it.
Put your kids to work.
You little mooch, oh God.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
What's also funny is that the asset for the bird has
a drop shadow built into it.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
It's over the screen Loading on top of everything.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Oh my gosh, it's terrible, are you done?
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Be for real, Alright.
So we're just gonna put outsome blurry lights and some jazz
music.
They went out to the club.
How did she get there?
Are we just to assume?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
that you dropped her.
The car's just somewhere, youknow.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Maybe she walks, maybe she's practicing her strut
.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Fucking Right, left, right left.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
The whole way to the restaurant.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
That's right, every bone in her body like scraping
along.
Have we graduated from seeinghow people get places?
She just walks.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
She doesn't own a car .
It wasn't in the budget.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
God, I'm thirsty.
Got some water please.
What's that smile all about?
Okay, why did that look likegreen?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
screen.
Yeah, that looks super fake.
They were already in thekitchen.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
I see it all over your face.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
It's the only in focus shot that looks slightly
modern.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
I know, I can't tell, though.
It almost looks like it's greenscreen, but it may not be.
It may just be bad cameraquality.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
She's got a shadow on the back wall of the kitchen,
so it's yeah.
Oh, that's my girl.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
What was that?
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Ladies and gentlemen, I have some great news.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
We're gone bankrupt.
You're all late off.
I'm gonna do some cutbacks.
Oh my gosh, they're reallygonna clap for like 30 minutes.
Oh, a day without sex is a daywasted.
He's getting it in early.
(12:06):
Let's get it in at the companystaff meeting.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Oh, more driving hey that's the same shot.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Yeah, that's definitely.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
You can't fool me, you can't fool me.
I did this before.
Definitely the same thing.
Okay, wait, they said it waswinter.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Yeah, now it's magically fall.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Pumpkins aren't in season in the winter?
Yeah, but they're probably abetter movie than Madam Web.
Go ahead, sorry, what did yousay?
How many more montage shots doyou think we'll get before we
(12:48):
actually get to some dialogue?
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I don't know, but I know this dialogue's gonna be
terrible.
She goes, huh yeah it is what Imean look at us, I can hear you
Really.
I figure if I don't make a bigbad attempt.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I figure I'll just stay here.
You should have a plan B now.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
I don't understand.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
I mean, you sound like my mother.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Well, I am your mother.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
You're supposed to have a mask.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
And I would have gotten away with it too.
Can you stop touching your headplease?
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Yeah, she's all about that hair, she's a fashion
model Every sh.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Be for real.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Oh no, look at this fake dead bird, cgi bird.
We're gonna take an earlyretirement Again.
Let's just move the camera forno reason.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
It's, you know, a dialogue scene.
This needs a little more action, so let's move the camera.
If it was a Michael Bay movie,we'd get an explosion any minute
.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
You said that might happen.
Congratulations, thanks.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
It's been a long time you know every Irish pub, Every
Irish pub's got a soulful blackdude singing A pub.
Hey, it's just me and.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Natalie, not at all, dancing to the song.
Hanging out, hanging out withthe family, having ourselves a
pub Ooh, we're gonna get asteamy.
Oh yeah, you're so much betterthan other guys, you're not into
sex.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
So I think we should just get a little more action.
We should just get a littlemore action.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Yeah, you're so much better than other guys you're
not into sex.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Can you move?
I'm trying to watch my show.
Hey, she's cleaning that birdcage.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Watch out, wow.
Bare feet on the motel carpet.
Love to see it Show Shakespeare.
How long has this make out?
Seen in the last?
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Oh, probably like a full five minutes.
I have no idea.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Third angle.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Mm-hmm, what is this kissing?
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Okay, are they gonna pan away?
I?
Speaker 2 (15:28):
don't know, though Ew Okay you have to Look at her
feet.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Oh, my God, ew, ew.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
It was a red flag.
Those feet were as black as hiscouch Ew, and they're rubbing
their toes together.
Brother, go wash your feetright now.
Yeah, oh.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Oh, there's a bird image.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Let's just you know exploding and birds are flying
with with no buildup, let's just.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
It's like two different movies.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Is that the sound of crows falling?
Is it the?
Speaker 1 (16:13):
bird exploding or I, it's just sort of it makes no
sense.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
This is hanging out on top of the car.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
She's like watch all the commotion right, there's
birds.
Well, did he have pants onbefore he did?
He never took his pants off.
That's not about sex, he justlikes her.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
He's a good man.
This motel bed doesn't havesheets on it.
Nope, james, it wasn't worth it.
These people have it well.
They had run out of their$10,000 budget by this point.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Try to find the sketchy's motel.
What did that do?
Speaker 2 (17:02):
what did that do?
Now, if they break the window,though, hit the bed, don't did
nothing, absolutely nothing.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Why would birds do something like that?
Speaker 3 (17:12):
I mean, why would they just attack?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Why would birds want to hurt us?
Speaker 1 (17:16):
We're asking the same question here, natalie.
We have absolutely no idea whythat just happened.
I don't know.
What are they?
Here they come, oh my gosh thedoor.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Get in there.
Get in there, right, get inthere.
So bad.
Okay, here's the thing youcouldn't just left in your
Mustang, I guess.
So the birds scratch me.
Natalie, hit me the gun.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Make sense.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Hey, there's dead people on the side of the road.
Let's go see if there's anysurvivors.
Rick.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
There are dead people on the side of the road.
Sorry, what.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Come on, honey.
Come over here, look for thecar.
Come on.
No, they won't come on uppertension, I promise I'm scared.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
What, what, what, what, what.
How did you know he was eventhere?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Everybody else is driving just casually.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Yeah, they're fine.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
You know, people drove past like yeah what.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
We're gonna make this feel all better, thank you.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Ungrateful little I.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
I should have let you die, thanks, yeah, birds are
chasing us, but let's uh, let'spull over have a little
beachside picnic, and I stayedat the beach.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
I'm drinking our waters, eating our sandwiches.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
It's birdemic.
Be careful out here.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
You triggered by the masks.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Just zoom in on me, make the screen red.
Sir, don't you know that thesebirds are?
Speaker 3 (19:57):
attacking people.
These birds, yes, no way.
They're dead from the bird fluvirus.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
They're dead from the bird flu virus.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
You know a lot about birds.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
What do you should mention that I am a bird.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
I created the virus.
It was me.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Only you can prevent birds through virus.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Thanks, doctor a stilt more birds.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Oh, when'd you get that scratch rod?
He's gonna turn into a bird.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
I.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Got tired of killing I rex.
Now I killed birds with an AR.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Why would you say that about your significant up?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
I'll cover you.
Oh, oh, no, no she keepsshooting.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Becky, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm Jamie, that'sjust a bad shot oh.
Oh what do you mean?
What do you mean?
She's dead?
Speaker 2 (21:28):
I know he was in the ROTC.
He was that kid in middleschool.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
He did like a four-minute mile no.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
The eagles killed Becky.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
She wouldn't be dead if you didn't have to take it.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
They got to her before I got a chance.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
My pants were around my ankles.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Ramsey got to her before I got a chance to what.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
You were dropping a hot one, she was getting killed.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
They killed Becky.
Go Becky.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
What it was, natalie.
We Gotta stop these birds.
Where can somebody find thismovie?
Speaker 1 (22:27):
It is not.
It is not on any streamingservices, but you can buy it on
iTunes for how much?
$14.
So if you want to helpreimburse us for the price of
this film, we've seen whathappens when people cover each
(22:51):
other doesn't go well, thank you, becky.
You.
What was that?
What was it?
And it stings.
Oh, nice, nice.
(23:11):
I got tears on my face.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
This is so stupid, I'm dead.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
Hi, the eagles killed our friends.
Do you have a phone I can useto call the police?
No, I'm sorry.
You know all phones from theEagle attack, all phones are
dead up here.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
And the dirt said you want to do another take of that
?
And he's like no, no.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
He's good out of my store.
It's literally hey, let's,let's find another stranger, we
can get killed.
Howdy, howdy, you're selling mesome gas for my truck.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
We only have a few gallons and we need them.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
We just bought some for $100 a gallon down the
street.
$100 a gallon, I only got $50in my wallet.
He's gonna pull it, I know it.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
I know it, take it easy, take it easy.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Oh, it slices through .
I'm just gonna go crawl in hisditch.
They got me, you know the bestplace to hide during a bird
demic the wooded areas.
Wooded areas where there's lotsof birds.
Yeah, who is this Shoot?
Speaker 1 (24:41):
that guy.
Yeah, yeah, shoot him.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Shoot him, rod, don't shoot, I just got a ponytail.
Get down here.
Get down here.
Get down here.
Damn global warming.
It's the cause of dry climateand bark beetles and death of
the trees and forest.
Back on the global warmingthing.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Yeah, I think that's the overarching message here.
This is a film.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
This is a film.
I just want to know who hefinessed into giving him $10,000
.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Yeah, I'm a little curious about where that money I
should get from, if I couldhave finessed somebody with
$10,000.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
Man.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
The fake fire is getting on.
Give us some feedback.
If you just picked up twoorphan children in the middle of
a-.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Oh yeah, f**k them kids.
Is this movie going to end like?
Seriously, I'm like what is?
There's no plot to this movie.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Now the fish are going to start tripping.
The fish are going to jump out.
The fish are acting weirdwhat's going on.
Global warming is the reasonthat the fish and the birds and
the forest fires are actingcrazy.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Are we ever going to have a scene where they just are
fine?
You know what I mean?
The birds are always going tobe chasing after them.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Plot to assist the same six birds.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
They've been following them.
Oh, and they're just going toleave.
Look, they're leaving.
Look, they're leaving.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
How long are you going to stare at the birds
flying away, bro Like?
It's over, figure out how toget home.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
I've never looked at birds enough this whole time.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
I'm not trying to slip my throat this time.
This is nice.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
I would be like I don't want to see a bird ever
again in my life.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
The birds would cause me PTSD at this point.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
We really are going to linger on this shot, aren't
we?
So are we going to get.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
McDonald's or Where's my Happy Meal?
I want Chicky Nuggets.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Stop, oh my gosh, stop Now.
I'm just mad at this point.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Oh there we go Credit's roll, geez, you know.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
I think I'm in the wrong profession.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Should have been screwing people out of
investment money and making badmovies.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Again, I don't know why an editor was credited
because no, it's bad.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
14 bucks, it can be yours though.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
For $14.
You two can enjoy or not enjoy.
You know there are a lot of badmovies that I know about but
haven't seen that.
I cannot wait to watch with youbecause there's one director in
particular that I've seen.
I've seen a different film ofhis that I know.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
A nice hamelon.
Oh, sorry, is that?
Today we are delving into the very interesting
territory of bad movies.
But I can tell you, you're infirst week.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
You're about to be bad.
You're about to be bad.
This is about to be bad.
This one here, let me tell youlike he's a filly.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Can you see how maybe it would have been a failure?
This is another one that's sortof known as being the worst
movie ever made.
It's called Bird Demek, Shockand Terror.
(00:56):
It was released in 2010.
So about 14 years old.
Yeah, it's old, but when youwatch it it looks older than
2010.
Directed by this guy namedJames Wynn, the budget, I
believe, was about $10,000,which I'm surprised when you
(01:19):
watch, it be surprised there waseven a budget.
I've only seen clips because Ididn't want to watch something
that I've already seen, so I'veonly seen clips.
I haven't seen the whole thingall the way through.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Bird Demek Shock and Terror.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
We have a nice, beautiful ocean vista.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
It's like the old Jaws movie or something.
Yeah, this is not made in 2010.
And that's what I told you.
I told you it's pretty dated.
Dated yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Okay, what are these sweeping shots of nothing, yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
It's driving Midwest hillsides.
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
This is totally somebody just sitting in the
passenger seat.
Bird Demek Shock and TerrorShock and.
Terror.
Definitely somebody justsitting in the passenger seat
holding the camera 100%.
Okay, Usually when it's adirector, writer, editor combo,
you know it's going to be.
Need some other people in thatthink tank, exactly, and other
(02:24):
people will be like this is howwe should do this.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
St Charles.
No Well, they went to the mostlike middle of nowhere town.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I'm really glad that we showed him driving to
wherever he's going rightinstead of just being there.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Where we had like the five-minute mark, just driving
literally we're gonna show himwalking the whole.
This slow choppy pan.
You at least cut it to like, ashe's already doing it.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
It's like they went and go that's literally yeah,
and it's not too fast and veryfast.
Go a little slower.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I know.
No, stop, let me get behind you, go again.
See this is Russian woman doingin the middle of Idaho.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
This audio editing is atrocious.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
She's giving early 2000s camera Diaz.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I dig it yeah walking out like a model.
Oh, we have a visitor, so blue,he's just gonna insert himself
in the situation.
All right, what's going on?
I gotta get her number.
She was so hot.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
What, what he's a creep.
Yeah, he's a stalker, yeah 100%.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Oh, that's why she was walking that way.
She's a fashion model.
Yeah so it wasn't.
It was a character choice,right.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
If she had any other roles, she would have been
normal.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yeah, she had an in-body the slayer, this, this
Reeks of somebody going well,she's a model, so she has to
look like a model, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
But then there's that walk right and not to say that
I'm an acting expert, right, butunless you want to hire me.
But when your lines are thissimple, like just a conversation
, high school girl, you rememberwhy does it feel so like?
Oh, I remember now we were inmath together.
I said two C's behind you.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Oh, wow, you remember that far.
Yeah, I do.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
This morning, flux of seagulls and crows were found
dead in downtown San Jose andalong highway 101.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
What is this new shot ?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Super far out, but it's still crap to be the
perfect like the difficulty offinding there we go such as
seals.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
You can see the green .
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Glow on her shoulder from the green screen.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
All right are we gonna have him driving?
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Here we go, more driving.
Now I'm getting in the car, butnow I'm getting in the car from
the left side.
Okay, interior shot now.
Oh.
Now we're on the right side.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
So there's a rule in film school called the 180.
Yeah, yeah rule where you, thecamera, just not supposed to
cross this line.
Yeah, it's gonna stay here.
I know your times was so far.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
If they spent half as much time and thought, yeah, I
say they, james is the only oneto blame.
If James meant half as muchtime and thought into Maybe
dialogue or anything else aboutthe first ten minutes of this
movie, rather than a Copiousamounts of shots of driving.
Maybe we'd have a better filmhere.
Choppy pans yeah, there you go.
(05:34):
Oh Nope, you don't want to losehim.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Watch it, watch it, watch it, watch it watch out
brother.
See he's walking like like heknows he's being filmed.
Yeah and that's what frustratesme just walk bro.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
What does it take to win your business today?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Mm-hmm okay, so salesman.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
Okay, I'll give you that and 50% discount.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Oh, he's a bad salesman.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
All right, 50%, you got me you twisted my arm.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
We appreciate your business.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Way to go.
Celebrating on his own what'swith all the noise?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
The most like like lackluster woohoo and someone.
What's all that noise?
Hey, hey, I'm glad down in hereif that's the venue.
Yeah, that you're modelingMaybe you're not a model
Cultural appropriation, you knowmore cultural or provision.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Yeah, yeah, she could have taken Scarlett Johansson
spot meta.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Ghost of the show yeah yeah, or Emma Stone in
Aloha God.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Nothing says Pacific Island or Asian like white woman
, yeah okay, I'll talk to yousoon, okay, okay.
Okay, man, I said bye 30seconds ago.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Get off the phone.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Joe made one sale, mm-hmm, now Joe's getting back
in that car.
Oh, I'm tired, a long, hard dayat work.
I should call Natalie, tell herabout my sale.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
I know good Vietnamese restaurant.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Sounds delicious, it's gonna take you to a
Vietnamese restaurant.
She, she knew.
That's why she was taking allthose Asian cultured pictures.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
She was like there you go.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
She's really into.
She's a vehicle.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
She's like um what do they call him the wee boo?
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Whoo, he's killing me .
I know, man, what's with thisweather a heat wave in winter.
You're not even sweating.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
He waited winter.
Apparently you've never been toMissouri, oh hello 70 something
degrees and 50.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Yeah, a day without sex is a day wasted a day
without sex.
I just want them to stop moving.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
I know the cameras is constantly moving, I think that
there's a dramatic pain.
Yeah, he said that's how youmake a good movie.
Just.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Constantly moving, still still down in the corner.
Side note this is adorable.
Hmm, this is adorable.
I'm just gonna get up here.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Cuddle up.
I'm gonna get up here, I'mgonna get up here.
I'm just gonna get up here andcuddle up.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
He's not even watching.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Well, we got a movie to watch.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Hi, my name is Jerry Owens.
I'm from Solar PowerAccessories.
We have an appointment to fitEverything.
Da, da, da, da da.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Da, da, da, da da.
Da, da, da da da, I can recitesix lines at a time.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Here's the estimate I was telling you about.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Even that looks fake, I'm not gonna lie to you.
Tnkpoo looks totally fake, man,she just gets hit by a car.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Hey bro.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I've never seen pictures in like an Asian
restaurant that's like peopleworking on agriculture.
They're usually like reallynice, like scenic backdrops or
something.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Also, this is a fake restaurant.
There's no kid doing homeworkat one of the tables.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
There's always a kid doing homework.
Either that, or like helpingout, like grabbing stuff off the
table yeah, prepping food or,yeah, grabbing places.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Rolling silverware yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
I like it.
Put your kids to work.
You little mooch, oh God.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
What's also funny is that the asset for the bird has
a drop shadow built into it.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
It's over the screen Loading on top of everything.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Oh my gosh, it's terrible, are you done?
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Be for real, Alright.
So we're just gonna put outsome blurry lights and some jazz
music.
They went out to the club.
How did she get there?
Are we just to assume?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
that you dropped her.
The car's just somewhere, youknow.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Maybe she walks, maybe she's practicing her strut
.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Fucking Right, left, right left.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
The whole way to the restaurant.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
That's right, every bone in her body like scraping
along.
Have we graduated from seeinghow people get places?
She just walks.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
She doesn't own a car .
It wasn't in the budget.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
God, I'm thirsty.
Got some water please.
What's that smile all about?
Okay, why did that look likegreen?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
screen.
Yeah, that looks super fake.
They were already in thekitchen.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
I see it all over your face.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
It's the only in focus shot that looks slightly
modern.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
I know, I can't tell, though.
It almost looks like it's greenscreen, but it may not be.
It may just be bad cameraquality.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
She's got a shadow on the back wall of the kitchen,
so it's yeah.
Oh, that's my girl.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
What was that?
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Ladies and gentlemen, I have some great news.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
We're gone bankrupt.
You're all late off.
I'm gonna do some cutbacks.
Oh my gosh, they're reallygonna clap for like 30 minutes.
Oh, a day without sex is a daywasted.
He's getting it in early.
(12:06):
Let's get it in at the companystaff meeting.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Oh, more driving hey that's the same shot.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Yeah, that's definitely.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
You can't fool me, you can't fool me.
I did this before.
Definitely the same thing.
Okay, wait, they said it waswinter.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Yeah, now it's magically fall.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Pumpkins aren't in season in the winter?
Yeah, but they're probably abetter movie than Madam Web.
Go ahead, sorry, what did yousay?
How many more montage shots doyou think we'll get before we
(12:48):
actually get to some dialogue?
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I don't know, but I know this dialogue's gonna be
terrible.
She goes, huh yeah it is what Imean look at us, I can hear you
Really.
I figure if I don't make a bigbad attempt.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I figure I'll just stay here.
You should have a plan B now.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
I don't understand.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
I mean, you sound like my mother.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Well, I am your mother.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
You're supposed to have a mask.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
And I would have gotten away with it too.
Can you stop touching your headplease?
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Yeah, she's all about that hair, she's a fashion
model Every sh.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Be for real.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Oh no, look at this fake dead bird, cgi bird.
We're gonna take an earlyretirement Again.
Let's just move the camera forno reason.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
It's, you know, a dialogue scene.
This needs a little more action, so let's move the camera.
If it was a Michael Bay movie,we'd get an explosion any minute
.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
You said that might happen.
Congratulations, thanks.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
It's been a long time you know every Irish pub, Every
Irish pub's got a soulful blackdude singing A pub.
Hey, it's just me and.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Natalie, not at all, dancing to the song.
Hanging out, hanging out withthe family, having ourselves a
pub Ooh, we're gonna get asteamy.
Oh yeah, you're so much betterthan other guys, you're not into
sex.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
So I think we should just get a little more action.
We should just get a littlemore action.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Yeah, you're so much better than other guys you're
not into sex.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Can you move?
I'm trying to watch my show.
Hey, she's cleaning that birdcage.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Watch out, wow.
Bare feet on the motel carpet.
Love to see it Show Shakespeare.
How long has this make out?
Seen in the last?
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Oh, probably like a full five minutes.
I have no idea.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Third angle.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Mm-hmm, what is this kissing?
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Okay, are they gonna pan away?
I?
Speaker 2 (15:28):
don't know, though Ew Okay you have to Look at her
feet.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Oh, my God, ew, ew.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
It was a red flag.
Those feet were as black as hiscouch Ew, and they're rubbing
their toes together.
Brother, go wash your feetright now.
Yeah, oh.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Oh, there's a bird image.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Let's just you know exploding and birds are flying
with with no buildup, let's just.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
It's like two different movies.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Is that the sound of crows falling?
Is it the?
Speaker 1 (16:13):
bird exploding or I, it's just sort of it makes no
sense.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
This is hanging out on top of the car.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
She's like watch all the commotion right, there's
birds.
Well, did he have pants onbefore he did?
He never took his pants off.
That's not about sex, he justlikes her.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
He's a good man.
This motel bed doesn't havesheets on it.
Nope, james, it wasn't worth it.
These people have it well.
They had run out of their$10,000 budget by this point.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Try to find the sketchy's motel.
What did that do?
Speaker 2 (17:02):
what did that do?
Now, if they break the window,though, hit the bed, don't did
nothing, absolutely nothing.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Why would birds do something like that?
Speaker 3 (17:12):
I mean, why would they just attack?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Why would birds want to hurt us?
Speaker 1 (17:16):
We're asking the same question here, natalie.
We have absolutely no idea whythat just happened.
I don't know.
What are they?
Here they come, oh my gosh thedoor.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Get in there.
Get in there, right, get inthere.
So bad.
Okay, here's the thing youcouldn't just left in your
Mustang, I guess.
So the birds scratch me.
Natalie, hit me the gun.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Make sense.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Hey, there's dead people on the side of the road.
Let's go see if there's anysurvivors.
Rick.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
There are dead people on the side of the road.
Sorry, what.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Come on, honey.
Come over here, look for thecar.
Come on.
No, they won't come on uppertension, I promise I'm scared.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
What, what, what, what, what.
How did you know he was eventhere?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Everybody else is driving just casually.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Yeah, they're fine.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
You know, people drove past like yeah what.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
We're gonna make this feel all better, thank you.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Ungrateful little I.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
I should have let you die, thanks, yeah, birds are
chasing us, but let's uh, let'spull over have a little
beachside picnic, and I stayedat the beach.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
I'm drinking our waters, eating our sandwiches.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
It's birdemic.
Be careful out here.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
You triggered by the masks.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Just zoom in on me, make the screen red.
Sir, don't you know that thesebirds are?
Speaker 3 (19:57):
attacking people.
These birds, yes, no way.
They're dead from the bird fluvirus.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
They're dead from the bird flu virus.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
You know a lot about birds.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
What do you should mention that I am a bird.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
I created the virus.
It was me.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Only you can prevent birds through virus.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Thanks, doctor a stilt more birds.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Oh, when'd you get that scratch rod?
He's gonna turn into a bird.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
I.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Got tired of killing I rex.
Now I killed birds with an AR.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Why would you say that about your significant up?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
I'll cover you.
Oh, oh, no, no she keepsshooting.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Becky, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm Jamie, that'sjust a bad shot oh.
Oh what do you mean?
What do you mean?
She's dead?
Speaker 2 (21:28):
I know he was in the ROTC.
He was that kid in middleschool.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
He did like a four-minute mile no.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
The eagles killed Becky.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
She wouldn't be dead if you didn't have to take it.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
They got to her before I got a chance.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
My pants were around my ankles.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Ramsey got to her before I got a chance to what.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
You were dropping a hot one, she was getting killed.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
They killed Becky.
Go Becky.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
What it was, natalie.
We Gotta stop these birds.
Where can somebody find thismovie?
Speaker 1 (22:27):
It is not.
It is not on any streamingservices, but you can buy it on
iTunes for how much?
$14.
So if you want to helpreimburse us for the price of
this film, we've seen whathappens when people cover each
(22:51):
other doesn't go well, thank you, becky.
You.
What was that?
What was it?
And it stings.
Oh, nice, nice.
(23:11):
I got tears on my face.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
This is so stupid, I'm dead.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
Hi, the eagles killed our friends.
Do you have a phone I can useto call the police?
No, I'm sorry.
You know all phones from theEagle attack, all phones are
dead up here.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
And the dirt said you want to do another take of that
?
And he's like no, no.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
He's good out of my store.
It's literally hey, let's,let's find another stranger, we
can get killed.
Howdy, howdy, you're selling mesome gas for my truck.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
We only have a few gallons and we need them.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
We just bought some for $100 a gallon down the
street.
$100 a gallon, I only got $50in my wallet.
He's gonna pull it, I know it.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
I know it, take it easy, take it easy.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Oh, it slices through .
I'm just gonna go crawl in hisditch.
They got me, you know the bestplace to hide during a bird
demic the wooded areas.
Wooded areas where there's lotsof birds.
Yeah, who is this Shoot?
Speaker 1 (24:41):
that guy.
Yeah, yeah, shoot him.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Shoot him, rod, don't shoot, I just got a ponytail.
Get down here.
Get down here.
Get down here.
Damn global warming.
It's the cause of dry climateand bark beetles and death of
the trees and forest.
Back on the global warmingthing.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Yeah, I think that's the overarching message here.
This is a film.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
This is a film.
I just want to know who hefinessed into giving him $10,000
.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Yeah, I'm a little curious about where that money I
should get from, if I couldhave finessed somebody with
$10,000.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
Man.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
The fake fire is getting on.
Give us some feedback.
If you just picked up twoorphan children in the middle of
a-.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Oh yeah, f**k them kids.
Is this movie going to end like?
Seriously, I'm like what is?
There's no plot to this movie.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Now the fish are going to start tripping.
The fish are going to jump out.
The fish are acting weirdwhat's going on.
Global warming is the reasonthat the fish and the birds and
the forest fires are actingcrazy.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Are we ever going to have a scene where they just are
fine?
You know what I mean?
The birds are always going tobe chasing after them.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Plot to assist the same six birds.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
They've been following them.
Oh, and they're just going toleave.
Look, they're leaving.
Look, they're leaving.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
How long are you going to stare at the birds
flying away, bro Like?
It's over, figure out how toget home.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
I've never looked at birds enough this whole time.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
I'm not trying to slip my throat this time.
This is nice.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
I would be like I don't want to see a bird ever
again in my life.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
The birds would cause me PTSD at this point.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
We really are going to linger on this shot, aren't
we?
So are we going to get.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
McDonald's or Where's my Happy Meal?
I want Chicky Nuggets.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Stop, oh my gosh, stop Now.
I'm just mad at this point.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Oh there we go Credit's roll, geez, you know.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
I think I'm in the wrong profession.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Should have been screwing people out of
investment money and making badmovies.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Again, I don't know why an editor was credited
because no, it's bad.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
14 bucks, it can be yours though.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
For $14.
You two can enjoy or not enjoy.
You know there are a lot of badmovies that I know about but
haven't seen that.
I cannot wait to watch with youbecause there's one director in
particular that I've seen.
I've seen a different film ofhis that I know.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
A nice hamelon.
Oh, sorry, is that?
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