January 23, 2024 • 31 mins
Today on Bourbon and Breakthroughs, we’re doing something a little bit different! Joining us for a live coaching session is life and business coach, host of the Life Coach Hotline Podcast, and Chris’ beautiful wife, Lindsey Mango. In this thought-provoking episode, Lindsey speaks candidly about the trepidation she feels when it comes to expanding her family, shares her mission to create deeper and more intimate friendships in 2024, and reflects on the gap between how she shows up in her business now versus how she shows up in her personal life. Our conversation reveals the importance of vulnerability for business owners, C-suite executives, and others in leadership positions, but it also demonstrates Lindsey’s inspiring openness and her willingness to change her mind, which is an essential part of being “coachable” and making the changes we want to make in our lives. As you’ll discover, this episode was actually recorded for Lindsey’s podcast, but it was too good not to share! If you’re looking to learn and grow as a leader but feel like you’re hitting a wall, this live coaching session might just open you up to a new perspective, so be sure to tune in today.
Key Points From This Episode:
- Reasons that coaches need coaches too!
- Three areas in her life that Lindsey is seeking coaching for.
- What Lindsey means when she talks about making expansion optional.
- The important role of compassion when addressing the parts of you that are afraid to grow.
- What Lindsey would say if a million people were listening.
- The distinctive lens she brings to her coaching work and that makes her so hungry for growth.
- Distinguishing between experience and performance.
- An unexpected shift or transformation that took place for Lindsey during this session.
- Why we shouldn’t hold ourselves back when we have something to share.
- Next steps for Lindsey, including paying attention to her unique perspective.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Get to know Chris -
- Connect on Instagram
- Coach with Chris
- Learn more about Goodman Coaching
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
UNKNOWN (00:00):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (00:03):
Welcome to the Bourbon and Breakthroughs
podcast, where entrepreneursreveal their biggest
breakthroughs, both in life andin business.
I'm your host, Chris Goodman,and I'm a life and business
coach on a mission to helppeople change their lives and
grow their businesses.
On this show, you'll get todistill your own life-changing
lessons from my friends,clients, and the best
(00:25):
entrepreneurs around the world.
During our conversation, wefeature and taste a new or
notable bourbon or somethinglike it and raise a So whether
you're a seasoned entrepreneuror just starting out, join us
for this episode of Bourbon andBreakthroughs.
Cheers.
UNKNOWN (00:45):
Cheers.
SPEAKER_00 (00:48):
Hey, what's up everyone?
This is Chris and you'relistening to Bourbon and
Breakthroughs.
And today we're going to dosomething a little bit
different.
I sat down to record an episode,a podcast with my darling wife,
Lindsay.
And if you don't know Lindsay,you must be brand new to the
show or brand new to me becausewe've been together since 2017.
We're both life and businesscoaches.
(01:09):
We both breathe personal growthnonstop, want to be the best we
can and help as many people beat their best as well.
And we sat down to record a showfor her podcast called Anything
But Average.
I take that back.
It used to be called AnythingBut Average.
I'm used to saying that.
It is now called The Life CoachHotline.
So what you're about to hear isactually going to air on her
(01:31):
show as well.
It's so good in my opinion,though, that I wanted to feature
it on my show too.
Here's why.
You're going to hear Lindsay getcoaching in real time.
This isn't about Chris andLindsay.
This is about someone who wantshelp with something and is
hitting a wall with it and howcoaching opens them up to a new
(01:51):
perspective.
That's really what is at theheart of this.
So as you listen, pay attentionto how coachable Lindsay is.
She is immediately willing tochange her mind about something.
She is not you know, defendingher positions.
She's not complaining aboutsomething over and over.
She's very much in a posture ofopenness and willingness.
(02:13):
So if you are in the coachingspace, if you are in any
capacity learning and growing,especially as a leader, take
note of how quickly she's ableto shift things in her mind and
make a few key decisions.
And therefore she'll shiftthings in her life and her
business as quickly as well.
So I decided I wanted to sharethis on my podcast because it's
(02:37):
also reflective of how we allneed to be vulnerable.
And I think people in leadershippositions really resist this.
People who own businesses or whoare in an executive level
position in a business or anorganization of some kind, it's
almost like we get this badge ofhonor by never being rattled, by
(02:58):
never being real and alwayshaving this sort of professional
veneer, which in other wordswould be an armor on.
And I think you'll hear Lindsay,you know, just dismantle this
pretty quickly.
So I hope you enjoy this show.
If you do, please share it onsocial media because someone out
there will find value in it ifyou did as well.
(03:19):
You can always go and scrollthrough the show notes and find
the Life Coach Hotline andLindsay's social media handles
as well and follow her.
She puts this out, I think it'sjust about every week now that I
say that out loud.
You'd think I know that giventhat she's my wife and we record
these podcasts in our own home.
Like I said, nobody's perfectand we all need to be vulnerable
sometimes.
(03:39):
So enjoy the show.
Like I said, share it if it hitsyou in the heart.
And as always, thank you forlistening.
I trust you'll get some kind ofbreakthrough from this episode
with Lindsay Mango, otherwiseknown as Lindsay Goodman.
SPEAKER_01 (03:51):
Hey guys, welcome back to the Life Coach Hotline.
This is the final episode of theCoach the Experts series.
On today's episode, apparently Isee myself as an expert
because...
SPEAKER_00 (04:05):
It's good to have a great self-concept.
SPEAKER_01 (04:09):
Because my husband, Chris, who is a life and
business coach, is here to coachme.
I mean, I shared this at thebeginning of the episode.
I think we put that intro infront of every episode about my
intention for this podcast,which is that you see that the
people that you admire, thepeople you learn from, the
mentors and leaders that youfollow have the exact same brain
(04:31):
as you do.
And I will say that one of mymost popular episodes from my
last version of this podcast wasthe one where I was coached.
And I think it's because peopleJust saw my humanness and I
think it's so funny to mebecause I'm like, of course I'm
a human.
Of course I have the exact samethoughts that all of you guys
have.
(04:51):
The difference maker or I thinkwhat matters is how you handle
them, which was really myintention for this podcast and
my intention for this series isso that you can see how people
like that handle their thoughtprocesses and work through them
so that they can go create thethings that they want in the
world.
So today...
Chris is going to be coachingme.
SPEAKER_00 (05:12):
Hey, Chris.
Maybe, maybe.
I haven't decided yet.
The jury's still out.
No, I do want to add one thing.
It's kind of like when peopleare surprised when they find out
we both have coaches or we bothseek coaching.
Like, well, wait, why would thecoach need a coach?
SPEAKER_01 (05:26):
I've never had that.
SPEAKER_00 (05:27):
You haven't had that?
I get that all the time.
Like, why would you need acoach?
I can't believe you have acoach.
I thought you were...
To that point, we're all...
We all experience fear.
We all have to up level in somekind of way when it comes to our
life or business.
And we need great leaders aroundus too.
So I think it's excellent thatyou've brought on the experts
before you so that everybody cansee, you know, the different
(05:51):
perspectives in addition to yourown.
SPEAKER_01 (05:53):
Well, thank you for being here.
I'm not really like you had achoice.
I brought three things and I'mgoing to let you pick which one
you want to coach me on.
I think I kind of have apreference, but...
SPEAKER_00 (06:06):
Oh, well then let's go with the one you have a
preference.
Well, I
SPEAKER_01 (06:07):
wanted to share because I think they're all
important for people to hear.
SPEAKER_00 (06:10):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (06:10):
The first one was as we family plan to have two kids.
I think I have just some fearand discomfort thinking about...
what that transition is going tofeel like and be like and just
managing that and a business anda life and all sorts of things.
But I think the main thing withthat is like the thought I have
(06:32):
is like, of course, and it'sjust uncomfortable.
And I also have the thought I'm,can handle anything and I will
expand that life.
So it doesn't feel like anythingI feel really stuck on.
I think it's just human.
The second thing I had was onething I'm working on this year
is creating more friendships andintimacy in all of my
(06:55):
relationships.
And I can see I've been workingon that, coaching myself,
getting coaching, but I can justsee there's lots of excuses in
my head which point to somethingbigger, which is like, it's
hard, it's not worth my time.
There's not that many thatpeople live close to me in the
Midwest.
(07:15):
All of the things that peopletell themselves about dating,
whatever, I find my brain makingexcuses for.
But I don't feel like I've letthat stop me.
And I think I'm leaning in tocreating that.
So that was the second thing.
I'm open to coaching on that.
But the third one was somethingI work on a lot with my clients
is and students is, I mean, thisis more business related, but
(07:37):
it's all related to creatingthings we want in our life.
I've been coaching a lot of myclients on this.
The idea of your job is to showup like you have a million
people, a million raving fansright now, even if you have...
five, even if you have theamount that I have.
And I can see that there's somegrowth and expansion there
because I don't think I sharethe same way I would if that was
(08:01):
the result I had.
So I can see that there's a gapbetween how I show up now versus
how I would show up in thatscenario.
And so...
That was the third thing.
So anything in particular youwant to take a stab at?
SPEAKER_00 (08:15):
Yeah, take a breath.
I think you ran yourself out ofbreath there.
I think the first thing is thatthe last thing is all of them
because how you show up inbusiness is how you show up in
life.
How you show up in life is howyou show up in business.
You said I have some fear aroundwhen we expand our family to two
kids, how that's going to changethings, how you'll be able to
(08:36):
show up.
And I'll just– You said, I'llknow I can handle anything and
I'll just expand.
That thought didn't show up inthe last one for some reason.
And same for the middle oneabout growing your friendship
circle.
If you carry that same thought,I can handle anything.
I'll just expand and continue toshow up.
That would resolve that one too.
So my thought is let's see if wecan go with the last one.
SPEAKER_01 (08:58):
I think when it comes to expanding our family,
there's a couple of things.
I think one, there's a level ofcommitment that's there.
It's just like, My thought isthere's no other choice.
There's no other option.
So it's like even though I knowit could feel so hard sometimes,
like the most difficult thingwe've ever done, I trust myself
(09:19):
that it'll be hard, and that'stotally okay, and it'll be
uncomfortable, and that'stotally okay, and it will also
be beautiful and magical and allof those things.
But I think there's just thislevel of like, yeah, and I'm so
committed to– the outcome.
I'm so committed to the visionthat we have for our family that
(09:40):
none of that matters.
Like it does, there's space formy humanness, but none of that
matters when it comes tochoosing to not take that step
because we're going to.
That's that.
So I can decide how I'm going tohandle the process.
And I just don't think it's aproblem.
And I think the flip side isthere must be part of myself
that's making my expansion in mybusiness and the people that I
(10:03):
serve Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (10:06):
Tell me more about that last part.
SPEAKER_01 (10:07):
Yeah.
I'm going to share my innermostthoughts sometimes that maybe I
skip over, I delay sharing, or Ithink like that was too much for
today or whatever.
I don't think I'm like, oh, andI'm going to do it anyway.
And that's going to beuncomfortable.
And that's not a problem becauseI'm so committed to, and as I'm
saying this, I can already feelthe transformation happening,
(10:27):
but I'm so committed to servingthese people.
and changing their lives that Idon't care if I look dumb or
weird or I'm outcasted from thecrowd because that is how
important this mission is and meevolving and growing it.
I think my growth is thatimportant, but I think I
sometimes miss that connection.
SPEAKER_00 (10:47):
You mentioned I can feel the transformation.
What did you mean there?
SPEAKER_01 (10:51):
I essentially was selling myself on why I'm
willing to do that.
I think my fear...
is like people aren't going torelate or connect or it's really
interesting.
I mean, I think it's very human.
I think we all want to be liked.
We all want to be accepted forour truest selves.
I think there's a part of methat fears people are going to
(11:11):
think I'm weird or people aregoing to not relate or connect
with my perspective.
Or this is kind of sounds funny,but I tend to be an optimist.
And I think people are going tothink like, It's not real or
unrealistic or whatever.
So I think with that, I'mfearful of those things
(11:32):
happening.
But when I'm selling myself onwhy I'm willing to do that, like
the commitment to it, none ofthat matters.
SPEAKER_00 (11:39):
Well, aren't people allowed to have an opinion?
SPEAKER_01 (11:42):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (11:42):
But you don't want them to have a bad opinion.
SPEAKER_01 (11:45):
Not helpful part of myself is like, yeah, they could
all love me.
That'd be great.
SPEAKER_00 (11:49):
So in that moment, who's that really about?
Them or you?
SPEAKER_01 (11:51):
It's about me, for sure.
SPEAKER_00 (11:52):
What do you mean?
SPEAKER_01 (11:54):
I'm making my comfort more important than my
mission and then their growthand my growth
SPEAKER_00 (12:01):
and my evolution.
So let's back up.
You said I'm making my comfortmore important than their
growth.
Which part of you is doing that?
SPEAKER_01 (12:08):
The scared part, the little girl that wants to be
liked.
SPEAKER_00 (12:13):
All right.
So let's go to the moment wherethat starts to happen.
When that happens, if thathappens, what will be your
protocol to stop the scared partof you from driving us?
SPEAKER_01 (12:24):
I think it's the thing that I do so often in my
membership.
And I think so often we want tojump to offer myself this new
thought or connect back to themission, which I think is a part
of it.
But I think the biggest thing ishonestly just compassion.
SPEAKER_00 (12:36):
For who?
SPEAKER_01 (12:38):
For that part of me and offering myself, which would
look like, of course you'rescared.
Of course, you don't want to beexiled from the community.
Of course, you want to be liked.
That is human.
And just giving that part ofmyself love and like honoring
it, not making it a problem.
If Eva said that, I would neverbe like, you shouldn't feel like
(13:01):
that or connect back to themission.
I would give her a big hug and Iwould be like, oh, honey, like,
of course you feel that way.
That's so human of you.
And just offering myself that Ithink loosens it in my body.
SPEAKER_00 (13:13):
All right.
So close your eyes.
SPEAKER_01 (13:15):
Take
SPEAKER_00 (13:15):
a breath.
What words do you need to hearin that moment?
SPEAKER_01 (13:24):
I think what I said, which is, of course you feel
this way.
It's only human.
Of course you want to be likedand loved and accepted.
And accepted by others.
Of course you're afraid to bebig.
(13:46):
And then I think this is wherepart of the shift comes in,
which is, and this is important.
You have something to say andshare.
This is on your heart for areason.
(14:12):
And then the biggest thought forme is like, even if it changes
one person's life, it's worthit.
And I feel in my body like I canguarantee that that will happen.
And then there's a knowing thatthat's what will actually change
millions of lives.
SPEAKER_00 (14:34):
Great job.
Thanks.
Now what?
SPEAKER_01 (14:40):
I think I just have to practice it.
I think the biggest thing ishaving the awareness of when
it's stopping me.
Practice leaning in.
I do think there's an intentionpiece.
I think in the day-to-day life,it's really easy to miss that.
My thought is I need to spendsome time with that.
Each morning, reflecting on whatwould I say or what would I
(15:02):
share today if a million peoplewere listening, if a million
people were hanging on my everyword and wanting to hear what I
had to say.
SPEAKER_00 (15:11):
Well, let's just answer that right now.
What would you say?
I
SPEAKER_01 (15:16):
mean, I have a specific things that thing that
comes to mind, but I think thebiggest thing that pops up is
just like all of my thoughts,like about life, about, I think
the other day when I posted thatthing about Eva, my perspective
about on Instagram, about beingin the store and realizing that
this woman's kids were grown andall of that, that is a, that is
(15:38):
how my brain works often.
Like I'll be in an emotion orI'll have a thought and then
I'll have a shift in real time.
And, but I won't always shareit.
I won't always like, cause mybrain is like, Oh, well how do
we say that?
How do we post that?
Whatever.
And I did that and it feltreally meaningful to me when I
had to share and it reallylanded, which is great.
(16:00):
You know, that's the goal.
And it's also not the goal.
I got my message out, but Ithink I would share those things
often.
Like, That inner monologue, thatin real time and their
transformations, but I like tothink of them as like little
miracle moments.
That's what Gabby Bernsteincalls them.
And just sharing them and notbeing caught up in how they need
(16:22):
to look or how they're supposedto look or whatever.
Just share them in a way that Iwant to.
So I think that's part of it.
I think it's the message that Ido share, but in like a bigger
way that I think there's twothings.
It just really came to me.
I think one of them is, ofcourse, the message of like, we
really can have it all.
It sounds so cliche, but theonly limits that we put on
(16:44):
ourselves are the ones that wewill create.
And so we can create, have, do,be whatever we want.
And I think it really, thebiggest thing is the third
piece.
I think sometimes, I'm readingthis book called Bittersweet,
and I think it's actually one ofmy assets is that I think I...
I don't know if the word'sphilosophize, but if that's even
(17:07):
a word, but I think I thinkabout life a lot.
I think about the end of mylife.
I think about the end ofchapters.
I think about There's thingsabout, it's going to make me
cry, but there's things about,like when I get online and I
read something about someonepassing away or at a young age
(17:29):
or whatever, it's like I can'thelp but get sucked into it.
It really is that bittersweetfeeling because I think I feel
so connected to the fact thatLike that morning, I always say
this, but I'm like that morningthey had no idea that they were
going to have their last cup ofcoffee or like that they were
going to leave the house andthat was going to be the last
time they saw their family.
(17:51):
Sorry.
And I think about that stuff alot and I think it's part of why
I value life and other people'slives so much because I
recognize how important they areand how temporary they can be.
And I think that's why I reallycare about the work I do and I
(18:12):
care about the growth in mylife.
And I think sometimes I'm afraidto talk about it because I don't
know how to say it.
I don't know how to, and I'msure I'm just saying it right
now, but my brain is like, Idon't want to become, I don't
want to be morbid.
I don't want to be that personthat shows up online and is
like, you're going to die.
(18:32):
Which I know I wouldn't say itthat way, but I really think
that is one of my unique lensesof And I think that is what
makes me so hungry for growthand change and why I care so
much about other people andtheir potential.
Because I can't imagine thefeeling of looking in the mirror
one day and knowing you're atthe end of your life and knowing
(18:52):
that you could have given more.
I think sometimes I tuck awaybecause it feels really big.
But I think it's a message thathas to be shared because I think
people ignore that.
And I think that's what keepsthem settling.
SPEAKER_00 (19:09):
So
SPEAKER_01 (19:11):
that's probably what I need to say.
So what I'm going to do is I'mjust going to take that clip and
I'm going to go record it andput it over a bunch of videos.
UNKNOWN (19:23):
All right.
All right.
SPEAKER_00 (19:24):
Can I drive for a moment?
SPEAKER_01 (19:25):
Of course.
SPEAKER_00 (19:26):
There's an important distinction in between what
you're saying that I want tomake clear.
There is a distinction betweenyou and the experience you're
having of you and theperformance of you that what
you're getting tripped up onover and over and over is the
performance.
You said how to say it.
SPEAKER_01 (19:46):
Yeah, which is fear.
SPEAKER_00 (19:47):
Well, let's not dismiss it because in that
moment, you're not seeing thatdistinction, right?
Because I know if Eva came up toyou one day and said, I have
this music in my heart and I'mafraid to go write it.
I'm afraid to share it.
I'm afraid to sing it.
Or
SPEAKER_01 (20:07):
really, I don't know how to
SPEAKER_00 (20:08):
give it out.
Yeah.
Even the music she would createis different than the heart of
Eva and who Eva really is.
It's just something she's doing.
Is this making sense?
SPEAKER_01 (20:20):
Oh, I see.
You're trying to draw adistinction between
disconnecting that from myidentity.
SPEAKER_00 (20:24):
Yeah.
So, in other words, how peoplereceive you It's not who you
are, right?
It's like somebody saying, Ineed to become more.
I'm not enough.
Well, you're plenty.
But maybe you can be moreeffective or you can communicate
it more clearly.
Is this landing?
SPEAKER_01 (20:43):
Yeah, but I think you just offered me a
transformation that maybe youdidn't like.
Wasn't your intention, which Ithink is magic of this.
Well, I was just thinking aboutthe music example with Eva.
We're watching this show calledLoudermilk.
Okay.
They were talking about music orone guy was using something or
writing and he was saying like,yeah, you just put it out and
it's bad.
(21:03):
And then you put it out againand it's bad.
SPEAKER_00 (21:05):
He didn't say it's bad.
He said it's shit.
SPEAKER_01 (21:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (21:08):
I couldn't remember that.
SPEAKER_01 (21:09):
And then you work on this thing over here and then
you come back again and you doit again and it's still shit
until it becomes less shittier.
And I was just thinking aboutthat with Eva that I'd be like,
yeah, you just got to put thewords on paper.
You got to try.
You got to make noise.
You got to whatever.
And that is the creativeprocess.
And I think I was like, oh, whenI stop myself before I even do
(21:32):
it, I'm not allowing it to beshit first.
And then I'm not allowing itto...
I'm imagining a sculptor.
SPEAKER_00 (21:39):
And in fairness, you're not allowing it to be
brilliant.
It could be brilliant on thefirst iteration.
SPEAKER_01 (21:44):
Yeah, absolutely.
I believe that's possible too.
But I think we're talking aboutthe fear here.
Yeah.
And I think that just helps mebe like, my job is to say it
shitty the first time.
And...
Or like not be afraid of how itsounds.
And then know that that is thebeginning of the sculpting.
And that is how I'm going tochisel away at it over and over
(22:07):
and over again until itcontinues to become something
beautiful.
And really what matters at theend of the day to me is that
it's impactful.
SPEAKER_00 (22:15):
Okay.
Now what?
SPEAKER_01 (22:17):
I feel that shift.
SPEAKER_00 (22:19):
Good.
What's it feel like?
It
SPEAKER_01 (22:20):
feels light.
It feels like clarity.
It feels...
certain direction.
It feels like the how isirrelevant.
I mean, again, as a coach, Iknow when you ask how, it's
never really about that.
I wasn't catching that I wasdoing that.
SPEAKER_00 (22:42):
That fear was doing
SPEAKER_01 (22:43):
that.
Yeah, that that was just fear.
That we only ask how when we'restuck in fear.
Something's blocking us fromtrying or figuring it out.
And I also feel this resolutecertainty that around what I
need to do.
SPEAKER_00 (22:57):
Which is?
SPEAKER_01 (23:00):
Which is I just need to share that part of myself
more often.
I think I do sometimes, but Ithink I need to share, not force
it.
I mean, I don't have thosethoughts every single day, but I
often do.
And I think I need to share it.
Sometimes it feels like it'sliterally coming out of me like
poetry, like the words.
(23:20):
And I think I just need to allowthose to be put out in the
world.
SPEAKER_00 (23:24):
John Maxwell has this great line that we should
endeavor to be rivers, notreservoirs.
That if we have something toshare, we should let it flow
without regard to whether itgoes far downstream or whether
it goes wherever it goes, thatwe shouldn't hold it like a
reservoir.
It's just our job to let itflow.
(23:44):
So what if it wasn't so muchabout how and fear and dah, dah,
dah, dah, dah.
It was more about just beingauthentically you.
And that when you felt thatcalling to acknowledge there's
something flowing and I don'tneed to know where it came from
or who it's going to land withor how it just has to flow.
SPEAKER_01 (24:04):
And that just reminded me of one of my past,
or actually she's a student inmy membership, but she also
coached me, Whitney.
Yeah.
Euland, we were talking aboutthe creative process one day,
and she was, it's a funnyexample, but it's so perfect.
And I go back to it so manytimes that that like creativity
can be constipated.
(24:24):
And sometimes it's not about thefirst idea, like maybe that idea
is shit.
But it's about getting it out.
Because that's what keeps theflow going versus when you like
stranglehold an idea and try toperfect it.
It's like you literally blockall the other ideas from coming
and all the other ways of sayingit.
And so it's just a real reminderthat same kind of thing we've
been saying here, but like myjob is to let it flow.
(24:48):
And again, maybe the first timewon't be great, but maybe that
leads to the next great idea orthe next way that I want to say
it, which is even better thanthe first time.
SPEAKER_00 (24:57):
Yeah.
So for you, what's the nextstep?
SPEAKER_01 (25:02):
Well, I think one is just sharing this episode, like
saying everything I want to say.
And I don't, I don't even feelvulnerable about that.
It's interesting.
Like I guess my podcast feels alittle bit safer.
I think I also have to askmyself some powerful questions
and answer them.
I think part of what made thiseasy was I just spoke from my
heart.
And I think sometimes I need toask myself questions to create
(25:24):
authentic answers of what I wantto say or what I want to share
about.
But really, I think it's justpaying attention, paying
attention to myself when I havethose moments, when I have those
miracle moments, when I havethat perspective about life.
writing them down and puttingthem out in the world without
(25:45):
regard for how they look or howperfect they are, how people
will receive that.
Yeah.
And I have to trust myself.
I have to trust myself that Iam, I'm going to say what I feel
and that's what matters.
I don't ever have the thoughtyou're going to die one.
Like, I mean, maybe, but like, Ijust have to trust myself that
(26:06):
it's going to come out howeverit needs to.
And that's what matters that Idon't have to fear.
it being sounding a certain way.
SPEAKER_00 (26:14):
Carl Jung said that which is most human is most
universal.
I think you see that on thecontent that hits a nerve with
people is that when you shareyour humanity, your
vulnerabilities, I mean, look atBrene Brown and her work.
It's not about the most curatedperson hitting a nerve, right?
(26:35):
Yeah.
It's about the humanity thatyou're sharing because we all
can relate to that.
SPEAKER_01 (26:41):
Yeah.
And I think that it all circlesback so perfectly.
I think that all of thatrealization, like my grandma
passed away, a girl I playedvolleyball with that was like 23
years old, was killed in areally terrible accident and not
even accident.
And that's what pushed me tochange my life, made me come
(27:02):
face to face with reality.
That my life could end at anymoment.
And I think maybe that's whatpeople do need to hear in order
to be inspired to change.
SPEAKER_00 (27:11):
Let me do something.
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath through yournose.
We're good.
We have a few minutes.
Yeah.
Reset there.
We'll just bridge this betweenwhere we have been and where
we're going.
But take another deep breaththrough your nose.
Fill your lungs all the way up.
And then take another littlebreath in through your nose.
Breathe out.
(27:32):
And while you keep doing that,breathing into your nose,
filling your lungs.
Not breathing.
I know you can followinstructions.
You're an athlete.
So while you do that, I want youto imagine a quick scene where
you're sitting on the back deck.
It's perfect outside.
(27:52):
You have a hot cup of coffee.
Eva's inside playing.
Everybody's good.
You don't have to worry aboutanything.
You're in your comfortable,beautiful pajamas.
And you hear this buzzing behindyour head.
And when you turn around, yousee briefly a hummingbird fly
away.
(28:13):
And that's the last you ever seeof it.
You never see that hummingbirdagain.
Because it flew back into thewoods and it said, I don't know
if Lindsay's going to like how Ilook.
I don't know if she's going toappreciate the color of my
throat.
I think she's going to thinkit's weird how I can fly
backwards.
I think she doesn't understandhow long my tongue is and that I
(28:34):
got to get really close to thatfeeder that she's got right next
to her and it freaks me out.
I don't like that.
It makes me feel vulnerable.
So I'm just going to go back andhide in the woods.
What do you think about that?
SPEAKER_01 (28:47):
No, it feels sad.
SPEAKER_00 (28:48):
Why?
SPEAKER_01 (28:49):
Because I look at the hummingbird like it's
magical no matter like all ofthose things.
And that I've hid itself and Iwouldn't get to appreciate its
magic.
Which is the point about this.
SPEAKER_00 (29:09):
Yeah.
The mango magic.
SPEAKER_01 (29:13):
I suppose I guess this is why you love me too.
And if I hid it from you, thenthat would probably be hard to
love me.
Harder.
SPEAKER_00 (29:20):
You've tried.
SPEAKER_01 (29:22):
I have.
I have tried.
Given a valiant effort, but...
I'll go in the woods and findyou.
You're formidable.
Thank you, babe.
You're welcome.
That was really great.
SPEAKER_00 (29:33):
You did great.
I love you.
SPEAKER_01 (29:35):
I love you too.
SPEAKER_00 (29:36):
Anything else for them?
SPEAKER_01 (29:37):
No.
I'm just excited to share thismessage and all the messages
that are going to come.
I just appreciate you guys.
And if you got value out ofthis, share it with somebody who
you think needs to hear it.
Yeah.
I also think the last thing iswhoever you are, whether you
(29:57):
have a business or not or you'reon social media, I think this is
so– what we're talking abouthere is so human.
We just joked that it can showup in relationships or anything.
I think all of my listeners dothat, but apply this to wherever
it applies in your life andwherever you're hiding yourself,
your truest self from the world.
(30:18):
Anyway, thank you, guys.
We'll be returning back to our–Well, I mean, we're essentially
doing the same thing on all theepisodes.
We're just more– people aren'tknown when they call in.
So you guys can still book andcall in for coaching.
You can use an anonymous name ifyou would like to and we'll just
(30:38):
be back.
We're going to be talking aboutsome New Year's goals.
I think it's the perfect timeactually.
Originally, I was going to havethose episodes go out in
January.
But now they're going to begoing out the end of January and
into February and we're talkingabout money.
We have an episode on money.
That has a huge breakthrough.
We have an episode on wantingmore, but knowing that they keep
kind of like not being committedto it.
(31:00):
All sorts of things that aregoing to really be impactful
because I think at this point,the newness of the new year is
starting to wear off.
And so I think these shifts aregoing to be really vital and
transformative.
So stay tuned.
We will see you next week onWednesday.
And thank you so much for youramazing coaching.
You're welcome.
Love you guys.
See you soon.
Bye.
UNKNOWN (31:21):
Bye.
SPEAKER_00 (31:21):
Thanks for listening to the Bourbon and Breakthroughs
podcast.
If you enjoyed this episode,please do me a quick favor.
It would mean the world to meand it would help us book better
and better guests every week.
Take just a second.
Make sure you're subscribed tothe podcast and leave us a quick
review of the show.
Thanks again and cheers to yourown breakthroughs.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (00:03):
Welcome to the Bourbon and Breakthroughs
podcast, where entrepreneursreveal their biggest
breakthroughs, both in life andin business.
I'm your host, Chris Goodman,and I'm a life and business
coach on a mission to helppeople change their lives and
grow their businesses.
On this show, you'll get todistill your own life-changing
lessons from my friends,clients, and the best
(00:25):
entrepreneurs around the world.
During our conversation, wefeature and taste a new or
notable bourbon or somethinglike it and raise a So whether
you're a seasoned entrepreneuror just starting out, join us
for this episode of Bourbon andBreakthroughs.
Cheers.
UNKNOWN (00:45):
Cheers.
SPEAKER_00 (00:48):
Hey, what's up everyone?
This is Chris and you'relistening to Bourbon and
Breakthroughs.
And today we're going to dosomething a little bit
different.
I sat down to record an episode,a podcast with my darling wife,
Lindsay.
And if you don't know Lindsay,you must be brand new to the
show or brand new to me becausewe've been together since 2017.
We're both life and businesscoaches.
(01:09):
We both breathe personal growthnonstop, want to be the best we
can and help as many people beat their best as well.
And we sat down to record a showfor her podcast called Anything
But Average.
I take that back.
It used to be called AnythingBut Average.
I'm used to saying that.
It is now called The Life CoachHotline.
So what you're about to hear isactually going to air on her
(01:31):
show as well.
It's so good in my opinion,though, that I wanted to feature
it on my show too.
Here's why.
You're going to hear Lindsay getcoaching in real time.
This isn't about Chris andLindsay.
This is about someone who wantshelp with something and is
hitting a wall with it and howcoaching opens them up to a new
(01:51):
perspective.
That's really what is at theheart of this.
So as you listen, pay attentionto how coachable Lindsay is.
She is immediately willing tochange her mind about something.
She is not you know, defendingher positions.
She's not complaining aboutsomething over and over.
She's very much in a posture ofopenness and willingness.
(02:13):
So if you are in the coachingspace, if you are in any
capacity learning and growing,especially as a leader, take
note of how quickly she's ableto shift things in her mind and
make a few key decisions.
And therefore she'll shiftthings in her life and her
business as quickly as well.
So I decided I wanted to sharethis on my podcast because it's
(02:37):
also reflective of how we allneed to be vulnerable.
And I think people in leadershippositions really resist this.
People who own businesses or whoare in an executive level
position in a business or anorganization of some kind, it's
almost like we get this badge ofhonor by never being rattled, by
(02:58):
never being real and alwayshaving this sort of professional
veneer, which in other wordswould be an armor on.
And I think you'll hear Lindsay,you know, just dismantle this
pretty quickly.
So I hope you enjoy this show.
If you do, please share it onsocial media because someone out
there will find value in it ifyou did as well.
(03:19):
You can always go and scrollthrough the show notes and find
the Life Coach Hotline andLindsay's social media handles
as well and follow her.
She puts this out, I think it'sjust about every week now that I
say that out loud.
You'd think I know that giventhat she's my wife and we record
these podcasts in our own home.
Like I said, nobody's perfectand we all need to be vulnerable
sometimes.
(03:39):
So enjoy the show.
Like I said, share it if it hitsyou in the heart.
And as always, thank you forlistening.
I trust you'll get some kind ofbreakthrough from this episode
with Lindsay Mango, otherwiseknown as Lindsay Goodman.
SPEAKER_01 (03:51):
Hey guys, welcome back to the Life Coach Hotline.
This is the final episode of theCoach the Experts series.
On today's episode, apparently Isee myself as an expert
because...
SPEAKER_00 (04:05):
It's good to have a great self-concept.
SPEAKER_01 (04:09):
Because my husband, Chris, who is a life and
business coach, is here to coachme.
I mean, I shared this at thebeginning of the episode.
I think we put that intro infront of every episode about my
intention for this podcast,which is that you see that the
people that you admire, thepeople you learn from, the
mentors and leaders that youfollow have the exact same brain
(04:31):
as you do.
And I will say that one of mymost popular episodes from my
last version of this podcast wasthe one where I was coached.
And I think it's because peopleJust saw my humanness and I
think it's so funny to mebecause I'm like, of course I'm
a human.
Of course I have the exact samethoughts that all of you guys
have.
(04:51):
The difference maker or I thinkwhat matters is how you handle
them, which was really myintention for this podcast and
my intention for this series isso that you can see how people
like that handle their thoughtprocesses and work through them
so that they can go create thethings that they want in the
world.
So today...
Chris is going to be coachingme.
SPEAKER_00 (05:12):
Hey, Chris.
Maybe, maybe.
I haven't decided yet.
The jury's still out.
No, I do want to add one thing.
It's kind of like when peopleare surprised when they find out
we both have coaches or we bothseek coaching.
Like, well, wait, why would thecoach need a coach?
SPEAKER_01 (05:26):
I've never had that.
SPEAKER_00 (05:27):
You haven't had that?
I get that all the time.
Like, why would you need acoach?
I can't believe you have acoach.
I thought you were...
To that point, we're all...
We all experience fear.
We all have to up level in somekind of way when it comes to our
life or business.
And we need great leaders aroundus too.
So I think it's excellent thatyou've brought on the experts
before you so that everybody cansee, you know, the different
(05:51):
perspectives in addition to yourown.
SPEAKER_01 (05:53):
Well, thank you for being here.
I'm not really like you had achoice.
I brought three things and I'mgoing to let you pick which one
you want to coach me on.
I think I kind of have apreference, but...
SPEAKER_00 (06:06):
Oh, well then let's go with the one you have a
preference.
Well, I
SPEAKER_01 (06:07):
wanted to share because I think they're all
important for people to hear.
SPEAKER_00 (06:10):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (06:10):
The first one was as we family plan to have two kids.
I think I have just some fearand discomfort thinking about...
what that transition is going tofeel like and be like and just
managing that and a business anda life and all sorts of things.
But I think the main thing withthat is like the thought I have
(06:32):
is like, of course, and it'sjust uncomfortable.
And I also have the thought I'm,can handle anything and I will
expand that life.
So it doesn't feel like anythingI feel really stuck on.
I think it's just human.
The second thing I had was onething I'm working on this year
is creating more friendships andintimacy in all of my
(06:55):
relationships.
And I can see I've been workingon that, coaching myself,
getting coaching, but I can justsee there's lots of excuses in
my head which point to somethingbigger, which is like, it's
hard, it's not worth my time.
There's not that many thatpeople live close to me in the
Midwest.
(07:15):
All of the things that peopletell themselves about dating,
whatever, I find my brain makingexcuses for.
But I don't feel like I've letthat stop me.
And I think I'm leaning in tocreating that.
So that was the second thing.
I'm open to coaching on that.
But the third one was somethingI work on a lot with my clients
is and students is, I mean, thisis more business related, but
(07:37):
it's all related to creatingthings we want in our life.
I've been coaching a lot of myclients on this.
The idea of your job is to showup like you have a million
people, a million raving fansright now, even if you have...
five, even if you have theamount that I have.
And I can see that there's somegrowth and expansion there
because I don't think I sharethe same way I would if that was
(08:01):
the result I had.
So I can see that there's a gapbetween how I show up now versus
how I would show up in thatscenario.
And so...
That was the third thing.
So anything in particular youwant to take a stab at?
SPEAKER_00 (08:15):
Yeah, take a breath.
I think you ran yourself out ofbreath there.
I think the first thing is thatthe last thing is all of them
because how you show up inbusiness is how you show up in
life.
How you show up in life is howyou show up in business.
You said I have some fear aroundwhen we expand our family to two
kids, how that's going to changethings, how you'll be able to
(08:36):
show up.
And I'll just– You said, I'llknow I can handle anything and
I'll just expand.
That thought didn't show up inthe last one for some reason.
And same for the middle oneabout growing your friendship
circle.
If you carry that same thought,I can handle anything.
I'll just expand and continue toshow up.
That would resolve that one too.
So my thought is let's see if wecan go with the last one.
SPEAKER_01 (08:58):
I think when it comes to expanding our family,
there's a couple of things.
I think one, there's a level ofcommitment that's there.
It's just like, My thought isthere's no other choice.
There's no other option.
So it's like even though I knowit could feel so hard sometimes,
like the most difficult thingwe've ever done, I trust myself
(09:19):
that it'll be hard, and that'stotally okay, and it'll be
uncomfortable, and that'stotally okay, and it will also
be beautiful and magical and allof those things.
But I think there's just thislevel of like, yeah, and I'm so
committed to– the outcome.
I'm so committed to the visionthat we have for our family that
(09:40):
none of that matters.
Like it does, there's space formy humanness, but none of that
matters when it comes tochoosing to not take that step
because we're going to.
That's that.
So I can decide how I'm going tohandle the process.
And I just don't think it's aproblem.
And I think the flip side isthere must be part of myself
that's making my expansion in mybusiness and the people that I
(10:03):
serve Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (10:06):
Tell me more about that last part.
SPEAKER_01 (10:07):
Yeah.
I'm going to share my innermostthoughts sometimes that maybe I
skip over, I delay sharing, or Ithink like that was too much for
today or whatever.
I don't think I'm like, oh, andI'm going to do it anyway.
And that's going to beuncomfortable.
And that's not a problem becauseI'm so committed to, and as I'm
saying this, I can already feelthe transformation happening,
(10:27):
but I'm so committed to servingthese people.
and changing their lives that Idon't care if I look dumb or
weird or I'm outcasted from thecrowd because that is how
important this mission is and meevolving and growing it.
I think my growth is thatimportant, but I think I
sometimes miss that connection.
SPEAKER_00 (10:47):
You mentioned I can feel the transformation.
What did you mean there?
SPEAKER_01 (10:51):
I essentially was selling myself on why I'm
willing to do that.
I think my fear...
is like people aren't going torelate or connect or it's really
interesting.
I mean, I think it's very human.
I think we all want to be liked.
We all want to be accepted forour truest selves.
I think there's a part of methat fears people are going to
(11:11):
think I'm weird or people aregoing to not relate or connect
with my perspective.
Or this is kind of sounds funny,but I tend to be an optimist.
And I think people are going tothink like, It's not real or
unrealistic or whatever.
So I think with that, I'mfearful of those things
(11:32):
happening.
But when I'm selling myself onwhy I'm willing to do that, like
the commitment to it, none ofthat matters.
SPEAKER_00 (11:39):
Well, aren't people allowed to have an opinion?
SPEAKER_01 (11:42):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (11:42):
But you don't want them to have a bad opinion.
SPEAKER_01 (11:45):
Not helpful part of myself is like, yeah, they could
all love me.
That'd be great.
SPEAKER_00 (11:49):
So in that moment, who's that really about?
Them or you?
SPEAKER_01 (11:51):
It's about me, for sure.
SPEAKER_00 (11:52):
What do you mean?
SPEAKER_01 (11:54):
I'm making my comfort more important than my
mission and then their growthand my growth
SPEAKER_00 (12:01):
and my evolution.
So let's back up.
You said I'm making my comfortmore important than their
growth.
Which part of you is doing that?
SPEAKER_01 (12:08):
The scared part, the little girl that wants to be
liked.
SPEAKER_00 (12:13):
All right.
So let's go to the moment wherethat starts to happen.
When that happens, if thathappens, what will be your
protocol to stop the scared partof you from driving us?
SPEAKER_01 (12:24):
I think it's the thing that I do so often in my
membership.
And I think so often we want tojump to offer myself this new
thought or connect back to themission, which I think is a part
of it.
But I think the biggest thing ishonestly just compassion.
SPEAKER_00 (12:36):
For who?
SPEAKER_01 (12:38):
For that part of me and offering myself, which would
look like, of course you'rescared.
Of course, you don't want to beexiled from the community.
Of course, you want to be liked.
That is human.
And just giving that part ofmyself love and like honoring
it, not making it a problem.
If Eva said that, I would neverbe like, you shouldn't feel like
(13:01):
that or connect back to themission.
I would give her a big hug and Iwould be like, oh, honey, like,
of course you feel that way.
That's so human of you.
And just offering myself that Ithink loosens it in my body.
SPEAKER_00 (13:13):
All right.
So close your eyes.
SPEAKER_01 (13:15):
Take
SPEAKER_00 (13:15):
a breath.
What words do you need to hearin that moment?
SPEAKER_01 (13:24):
I think what I said, which is, of course you feel
this way.
It's only human.
Of course you want to be likedand loved and accepted.
And accepted by others.
Of course you're afraid to bebig.
(13:46):
And then I think this is wherepart of the shift comes in,
which is, and this is important.
You have something to say andshare.
This is on your heart for areason.
(14:12):
And then the biggest thought forme is like, even if it changes
one person's life, it's worthit.
And I feel in my body like I canguarantee that that will happen.
And then there's a knowing thatthat's what will actually change
millions of lives.
SPEAKER_00 (14:34):
Great job.
Thanks.
Now what?
SPEAKER_01 (14:40):
I think I just have to practice it.
I think the biggest thing ishaving the awareness of when
it's stopping me.
Practice leaning in.
I do think there's an intentionpiece.
I think in the day-to-day life,it's really easy to miss that.
My thought is I need to spendsome time with that.
Each morning, reflecting on whatwould I say or what would I
(15:02):
share today if a million peoplewere listening, if a million
people were hanging on my everyword and wanting to hear what I
had to say.
SPEAKER_00 (15:11):
Well, let's just answer that right now.
What would you say?
I
SPEAKER_01 (15:16):
mean, I have a specific things that thing that
comes to mind, but I think thebiggest thing that pops up is
just like all of my thoughts,like about life, about, I think
the other day when I posted thatthing about Eva, my perspective
about on Instagram, about beingin the store and realizing that
this woman's kids were grown andall of that, that is a, that is
(15:38):
how my brain works often.
Like I'll be in an emotion orI'll have a thought and then
I'll have a shift in real time.
And, but I won't always shareit.
I won't always like, cause mybrain is like, Oh, well how do
we say that?
How do we post that?
Whatever.
And I did that and it feltreally meaningful to me when I
had to share and it reallylanded, which is great.
(16:00):
You know, that's the goal.
And it's also not the goal.
I got my message out, but Ithink I would share those things
often.
Like, That inner monologue, thatin real time and their
transformations, but I like tothink of them as like little
miracle moments.
That's what Gabby Bernsteincalls them.
And just sharing them and notbeing caught up in how they need
(16:22):
to look or how they're supposedto look or whatever.
Just share them in a way that Iwant to.
So I think that's part of it.
I think it's the message that Ido share, but in like a bigger
way that I think there's twothings.
It just really came to me.
I think one of them is, ofcourse, the message of like, we
really can have it all.
It sounds so cliche, but theonly limits that we put on
(16:44):
ourselves are the ones that wewill create.
And so we can create, have, do,be whatever we want.
And I think it really, thebiggest thing is the third
piece.
I think sometimes, I'm readingthis book called Bittersweet,
and I think it's actually one ofmy assets is that I think I...
I don't know if the word'sphilosophize, but if that's even
(17:07):
a word, but I think I thinkabout life a lot.
I think about the end of mylife.
I think about the end ofchapters.
I think about There's thingsabout, it's going to make me
cry, but there's things about,like when I get online and I
read something about someonepassing away or at a young age
(17:29):
or whatever, it's like I can'thelp but get sucked into it.
It really is that bittersweetfeeling because I think I feel
so connected to the fact thatLike that morning, I always say
this, but I'm like that morningthey had no idea that they were
going to have their last cup ofcoffee or like that they were
going to leave the house andthat was going to be the last
time they saw their family.
(17:51):
Sorry.
And I think about that stuff alot and I think it's part of why
I value life and other people'slives so much because I
recognize how important they areand how temporary they can be.
And I think that's why I reallycare about the work I do and I
(18:12):
care about the growth in mylife.
And I think sometimes I'm afraidto talk about it because I don't
know how to say it.
I don't know how to, and I'msure I'm just saying it right
now, but my brain is like, Idon't want to become, I don't
want to be morbid.
I don't want to be that personthat shows up online and is
like, you're going to die.
(18:32):
Which I know I wouldn't say itthat way, but I really think
that is one of my unique lensesof And I think that is what
makes me so hungry for growthand change and why I care so
much about other people andtheir potential.
Because I can't imagine thefeeling of looking in the mirror
one day and knowing you're atthe end of your life and knowing
(18:52):
that you could have given more.
I think sometimes I tuck awaybecause it feels really big.
But I think it's a message thathas to be shared because I think
people ignore that.
And I think that's what keepsthem settling.
SPEAKER_00 (19:09):
So
SPEAKER_01 (19:11):
that's probably what I need to say.
So what I'm going to do is I'mjust going to take that clip and
I'm going to go record it andput it over a bunch of videos.
UNKNOWN (19:23):
All right.
All right.
SPEAKER_00 (19:24):
Can I drive for a moment?
SPEAKER_01 (19:25):
Of course.
SPEAKER_00 (19:26):
There's an important distinction in between what
you're saying that I want tomake clear.
There is a distinction betweenyou and the experience you're
having of you and theperformance of you that what
you're getting tripped up onover and over and over is the
performance.
You said how to say it.
SPEAKER_01 (19:46):
Yeah, which is fear.
SPEAKER_00 (19:47):
Well, let's not dismiss it because in that
moment, you're not seeing thatdistinction, right?
Because I know if Eva came up toyou one day and said, I have
this music in my heart and I'mafraid to go write it.
I'm afraid to share it.
I'm afraid to sing it.
Or
SPEAKER_01 (20:07):
really, I don't know how to
SPEAKER_00 (20:08):
give it out.
Yeah.
Even the music she would createis different than the heart of
Eva and who Eva really is.
It's just something she's doing.
Is this making sense?
SPEAKER_01 (20:20):
Oh, I see.
You're trying to draw adistinction between
disconnecting that from myidentity.
SPEAKER_00 (20:24):
Yeah.
So, in other words, how peoplereceive you It's not who you
are, right?
It's like somebody saying, Ineed to become more.
I'm not enough.
Well, you're plenty.
But maybe you can be moreeffective or you can communicate
it more clearly.
Is this landing?
SPEAKER_01 (20:43):
Yeah, but I think you just offered me a
transformation that maybe youdidn't like.
Wasn't your intention, which Ithink is magic of this.
Well, I was just thinking aboutthe music example with Eva.
We're watching this show calledLoudermilk.
Okay.
They were talking about music orone guy was using something or
writing and he was saying like,yeah, you just put it out and
it's bad.
(21:03):
And then you put it out againand it's bad.
SPEAKER_00 (21:05):
He didn't say it's bad.
He said it's shit.
SPEAKER_01 (21:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (21:08):
I couldn't remember that.
SPEAKER_01 (21:09):
And then you work on this thing over here and then
you come back again and you doit again and it's still shit
until it becomes less shittier.
And I was just thinking aboutthat with Eva that I'd be like,
yeah, you just got to put thewords on paper.
You got to try.
You got to make noise.
You got to whatever.
And that is the creativeprocess.
And I think I was like, oh, whenI stop myself before I even do
(21:32):
it, I'm not allowing it to beshit first.
And then I'm not allowing itto...
I'm imagining a sculptor.
SPEAKER_00 (21:39):
And in fairness, you're not allowing it to be
brilliant.
It could be brilliant on thefirst iteration.
SPEAKER_01 (21:44):
Yeah, absolutely.
I believe that's possible too.
But I think we're talking aboutthe fear here.
Yeah.
And I think that just helps mebe like, my job is to say it
shitty the first time.
And...
Or like not be afraid of how itsounds.
And then know that that is thebeginning of the sculpting.
And that is how I'm going tochisel away at it over and over
(22:07):
and over again until itcontinues to become something
beautiful.
And really what matters at theend of the day to me is that
it's impactful.
SPEAKER_00 (22:15):
Okay.
Now what?
SPEAKER_01 (22:17):
I feel that shift.
SPEAKER_00 (22:19):
Good.
What's it feel like?
It
SPEAKER_01 (22:20):
feels light.
It feels like clarity.
It feels...
certain direction.
It feels like the how isirrelevant.
I mean, again, as a coach, Iknow when you ask how, it's
never really about that.
I wasn't catching that I wasdoing that.
SPEAKER_00 (22:42):
That fear was doing
SPEAKER_01 (22:43):
that.
Yeah, that that was just fear.
That we only ask how when we'restuck in fear.
Something's blocking us fromtrying or figuring it out.
And I also feel this resolutecertainty that around what I
need to do.
SPEAKER_00 (22:57):
Which is?
SPEAKER_01 (23:00):
Which is I just need to share that part of myself
more often.
I think I do sometimes, but Ithink I need to share, not force
it.
I mean, I don't have thosethoughts every single day, but I
often do.
And I think I need to share it.
Sometimes it feels like it'sliterally coming out of me like
poetry, like the words.
(23:20):
And I think I just need to allowthose to be put out in the
world.
SPEAKER_00 (23:24):
John Maxwell has this great line that we should
endeavor to be rivers, notreservoirs.
That if we have something toshare, we should let it flow
without regard to whether itgoes far downstream or whether
it goes wherever it goes, thatwe shouldn't hold it like a
reservoir.
It's just our job to let itflow.
(23:44):
So what if it wasn't so muchabout how and fear and dah, dah,
dah, dah, dah.
It was more about just beingauthentically you.
And that when you felt thatcalling to acknowledge there's
something flowing and I don'tneed to know where it came from
or who it's going to land withor how it just has to flow.
SPEAKER_01 (24:04):
And that just reminded me of one of my past,
or actually she's a student inmy membership, but she also
coached me, Whitney.
Yeah.
Euland, we were talking aboutthe creative process one day,
and she was, it's a funnyexample, but it's so perfect.
And I go back to it so manytimes that that like creativity
can be constipated.
(24:24):
And sometimes it's not about thefirst idea, like maybe that idea
is shit.
But it's about getting it out.
Because that's what keeps theflow going versus when you like
stranglehold an idea and try toperfect it.
It's like you literally blockall the other ideas from coming
and all the other ways of sayingit.
And so it's just a real reminderthat same kind of thing we've
been saying here, but like myjob is to let it flow.
(24:48):
And again, maybe the first timewon't be great, but maybe that
leads to the next great idea orthe next way that I want to say
it, which is even better thanthe first time.
SPEAKER_00 (24:57):
Yeah.
So for you, what's the nextstep?
SPEAKER_01 (25:02):
Well, I think one is just sharing this episode, like
saying everything I want to say.
And I don't, I don't even feelvulnerable about that.
It's interesting.
Like I guess my podcast feels alittle bit safer.
I think I also have to askmyself some powerful questions
and answer them.
I think part of what made thiseasy was I just spoke from my
heart.
And I think sometimes I need toask myself questions to create
(25:24):
authentic answers of what I wantto say or what I want to share
about.
But really, I think it's justpaying attention, paying
attention to myself when I havethose moments, when I have those
miracle moments, when I havethat perspective about life.
writing them down and puttingthem out in the world without
(25:45):
regard for how they look or howperfect they are, how people
will receive that.
Yeah.
And I have to trust myself.
I have to trust myself that Iam, I'm going to say what I feel
and that's what matters.
I don't ever have the thoughtyou're going to die one.
Like, I mean, maybe, but like, Ijust have to trust myself that
(26:06):
it's going to come out howeverit needs to.
And that's what matters that Idon't have to fear.
it being sounding a certain way.
SPEAKER_00 (26:14):
Carl Jung said that which is most human is most
universal.
I think you see that on thecontent that hits a nerve with
people is that when you shareyour humanity, your
vulnerabilities, I mean, look atBrene Brown and her work.
It's not about the most curatedperson hitting a nerve, right?
(26:35):
Yeah.
It's about the humanity thatyou're sharing because we all
can relate to that.
SPEAKER_01 (26:41):
Yeah.
And I think that it all circlesback so perfectly.
I think that all of thatrealization, like my grandma
passed away, a girl I playedvolleyball with that was like 23
years old, was killed in areally terrible accident and not
even accident.
And that's what pushed me tochange my life, made me come
(27:02):
face to face with reality.
That my life could end at anymoment.
And I think maybe that's whatpeople do need to hear in order
to be inspired to change.
SPEAKER_00 (27:11):
Let me do something.
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath through yournose.
We're good.
We have a few minutes.
Yeah.
Reset there.
We'll just bridge this betweenwhere we have been and where
we're going.
But take another deep breaththrough your nose.
Fill your lungs all the way up.
And then take another littlebreath in through your nose.
Breathe out.
(27:32):
And while you keep doing that,breathing into your nose,
filling your lungs.
Not breathing.
I know you can followinstructions.
You're an athlete.
So while you do that, I want youto imagine a quick scene where
you're sitting on the back deck.
It's perfect outside.
(27:52):
You have a hot cup of coffee.
Eva's inside playing.
Everybody's good.
You don't have to worry aboutanything.
You're in your comfortable,beautiful pajamas.
And you hear this buzzing behindyour head.
And when you turn around, yousee briefly a hummingbird fly
away.
(28:13):
And that's the last you ever seeof it.
You never see that hummingbirdagain.
Because it flew back into thewoods and it said, I don't know
if Lindsay's going to like how Ilook.
I don't know if she's going toappreciate the color of my
throat.
I think she's going to thinkit's weird how I can fly
backwards.
I think she doesn't understandhow long my tongue is and that I
(28:34):
got to get really close to thatfeeder that she's got right next
to her and it freaks me out.
I don't like that.
It makes me feel vulnerable.
So I'm just going to go back andhide in the woods.
What do you think about that?
SPEAKER_01 (28:47):
No, it feels sad.
SPEAKER_00 (28:48):
Why?
SPEAKER_01 (28:49):
Because I look at the hummingbird like it's
magical no matter like all ofthose things.
And that I've hid itself and Iwouldn't get to appreciate its
magic.
Which is the point about this.
SPEAKER_00 (29:09):
Yeah.
The mango magic.
SPEAKER_01 (29:13):
I suppose I guess this is why you love me too.
And if I hid it from you, thenthat would probably be hard to
love me.
Harder.
SPEAKER_00 (29:20):
You've tried.
SPEAKER_01 (29:22):
I have.
I have tried.
Given a valiant effort, but...
I'll go in the woods and findyou.
You're formidable.
Thank you, babe.
You're welcome.
That was really great.
SPEAKER_00 (29:33):
You did great.
I love you.
SPEAKER_01 (29:35):
I love you too.
SPEAKER_00 (29:36):
Anything else for them?
SPEAKER_01 (29:37):
No.
I'm just excited to share thismessage and all the messages
that are going to come.
I just appreciate you guys.
And if you got value out ofthis, share it with somebody who
you think needs to hear it.
Yeah.
I also think the last thing iswhoever you are, whether you
(29:57):
have a business or not or you'reon social media, I think this is
so– what we're talking abouthere is so human.
We just joked that it can showup in relationships or anything.
I think all of my listeners dothat, but apply this to wherever
it applies in your life andwherever you're hiding yourself,
your truest self from the world.
(30:18):
Anyway, thank you, guys.
We'll be returning back to our–Well, I mean, we're essentially
doing the same thing on all theepisodes.
We're just more– people aren'tknown when they call in.
So you guys can still book andcall in for coaching.
You can use an anonymous name ifyou would like to and we'll just
(30:38):
be back.
We're going to be talking aboutsome New Year's goals.
I think it's the perfect timeactually.
Originally, I was going to havethose episodes go out in
January.
But now they're going to begoing out the end of January and
into February and we're talkingabout money.
We have an episode on money.
That has a huge breakthrough.
We have an episode on wantingmore, but knowing that they keep
kind of like not being committedto it.
(31:00):
All sorts of things that aregoing to really be impactful
because I think at this point,the newness of the new year is
starting to wear off.
And so I think these shifts aregoing to be really vital and
transformative.
So stay tuned.
We will see you next week onWednesday.
And thank you so much for youramazing coaching.
You're welcome.
Love you guys.
See you soon.
Bye.
UNKNOWN (31:21):
Bye.
SPEAKER_00 (31:21):
Thanks for listening to the Bourbon and Breakthroughs
podcast.
If you enjoyed this episode,please do me a quick favor.
It would mean the world to meand it would help us book better
and better guests every week.
Take just a second.
Make sure you're subscribed tothe podcast and leave us a quick
review of the show.
Thanks again and cheers to yourown breakthroughs.
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