July 30, 2025 • 52 mins
** Warning that this episode talks very candidly and descriptively about surgery and more.**
Few IBD stories contain as many twists, complications, and near-death experiences as Bryan Schulze's journey with ulcerative colitis. What began with occasional bleeding during his military deployment escalated into a life-threatening medical emergency when doctors discovered he had been hemorrhaging internally for months. With severe anemia and barely conscious, Bryan's introduction to IBD came with a stark realization — he had been slowly dying without knowing it.
Bryan's candid account takes us through the harrowing reality of military service with undiagnosed IBD, the struggle to maintain dignity while bleeding profusely, and the complex surgeries that followed. After medication failures and complications that defy belief, Bryan underwent a full colectomy and J-pouch surgery that led to severe complications including a massive abdominal infection, wound vacuum treatments, and catastrophic surgical errors.
Beyond the physical trauma, Bryan shares the emotional and professional toll of IBD. From workplace discrimination to failed career dreams, steroid-induced diabetes to heart failure, and battles with depression and anxiety — his story encompasses the full spectrum of challenges IBD patients may face. Yet through it all, Bryan found his way back through support from his family, reconnection with his faith, and an indomitable will to live.
Now serving as a police officer with a permanent ostomy bag, Bryan offers powerful wisdom to fellow IBD warriors: "Take a deep breath. It's not a life ender. It is a life changer. Be willing to adapt with it so that you can overcome it and still live the life that you were given to live." His message of resilience serves as a beacon for anyone facing seemingly insurmountable health challenges.
Have you been struggling with IBD? Share your story or questions with us, and remember that no matter how difficult your journey, you're never alone in this fight.
Links:
- Our episode with Dr. Anish Patel
- Our episode with Matty Bowels!
- Veterans with IBD Support Group- Cron's & Colitis Foundation USA
- About IBD Podcast episode with Dr. Anish Patel
- John's story of serving in the Royal Marines in the UK- Crohn's & Colitis UIK
Let's get social!!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, I'm Alicia and I'm Robin and you're listening
to Bowel Moments, the podcastsharing real talk about the
realities of IBD.
Serve on the rocks.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
This week we talked to Brian Scholes.
Brian was diagnosed withulcerative colitis when he was
in the military.
We talked to him about his verywinding and complicated journey
to diagnosis and to treatmentand to the many, many obstacles
he faced.
We talked to him about how he'sutilized the military
healthcare system and what thathas been like, and we talked to
many other things, includingmental health and faith.
Just a warning to folks, though, that we do get descriptive
(00:34):
about mental health and alsoabout surgery and go pretty darn
deep.
So if you're very sensitive,just be careful.
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Hi everyone, Welcome to Bell Moments.
This is Alicia.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Hey, everyone, it's.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Matt here.
How are we doing?
Unfortunately, robin is notable to join us today, and so
we're very excited to welcomeback Matt Kasabian to the show.
So, matt, thank you for comingto the host.
It is very amazing to be here.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
It's been a minute, but I'm so excited to co-host.
It is very amazing to be here.
It's been a minute, but I'm soexcited to co-host and looking
forward to talking to Briantoday with his story as well,
and co-hosting with you, alicia.
So first off, we would like tostart off the show with Brian.
What are you drinking today?
An electrolyte drink water.
Oh, you are being healthy and Ilove it.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Perfect, that's well done.
I actually also have anelectrolyte drink next to me,
because I am in the mountainsand I don't understand why
moisture doesn't exist here.
Matt, what are you drinking?
I?
Speaker 3 (01:34):
unfortunately, am just drinking a giant Stanley of
water today too.
I just got off of work, butthere's a high noon near me.
I'm thinking about getting that, but also the same time, I am
like four Stanleys behind inwater today, so I really need to
catch up and chug this realquick.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Good plan.
Well, cheers guys.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Cheers, cheers.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Okay, Brian.
Next question for you Tell usyour IBD story.
What brings you into ourcommunity?
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Well, let's see.
My name is Brian Schultz and Ihave been an IBD patient since
2010.
So a little bit about mybackstory.
I joined the Army at 17, rightafter 9-11, december 15th of
2001.
Joined the Reserves, went tobasic and AIT, came back,
finished high school and then Iswitched my job from combat
engineer to infantry because Iwanted to go fight in the war
(02:23):
and I went to 10th MountainDivision and then I was in the
initial invasion of Fallujah andthen I was there 03-04.
And then we came back and thenI went to Afghanistan 06-07.
And then I came back and then Iwent to Iraq again 08-09.
I'd say the first time I evernoticed anything going on with
my bowels was inAfghanistanghanistan was the
(02:43):
first time I had had any type ofblood in my soul.
I had no idea, thought it waslike hemorrhoidal, something
like that, and it was a like awham bam.
Thank you, ma'am.
It happened and it disappeared.
No issues after that.
But I did have like what wethought was dysentery.
I thought I got dysentery forlike nine months, like it was
just a long period of justconstant.
(03:05):
Like I had to go.
I had to go.
So we got back from Afghanistan.
I PCS, which is I changed mystation, which was Fort Drum at
the time.
Then I went to Fort Hood.
When I got to Fort Hood I wentover to Iraq for the second time
and I was in Missoula, iraq.
No issues, everything was fine.
We came back in November.
We're into November.
Beginning of December we cameback to the States and then
(03:28):
around January I started to havea little bit of blood.
It was light, it was lightbleeding and things like that
every once in a while.
In February it really becameknown to me that, hey, why am I
bleeding?
And it became concerning.
Didn't think anything of it.
I did ask my medic about it.
I did go to the doctors hey,why am I bleeding?
I said it could be internalhemorrhoids or it could just be
(03:49):
hemorrhoids in general and thatif it keeps going on or if it
gets worse, you know, let themknow.
Well, it didn't for a while andthen it slowly, progressively
got worse.
But me, being an infantryman, Iwas full of pride, spit, fire
and vinegar, thought I couldhandle it, take care of myself,
it was going to pass.
Maybe it's what I was eating.
(04:09):
You know, I was and I wasscared, to be honest.
I mean.
It's scary when you got bloodcoming out your backside and you
don't know why.
So I bled from February of 2009until October of 2010.
So it got to the point where Ihad like golf ball size to
(04:29):
almost baseball size clotscoming out.
I thought I'd need to use arestroom and I was just it was
clots of blood.
It wasn't.
It was pulling up in my, in myanus, and it was waiting to fall
out.
So, technically, I washemorrhaging and I didn't know
it.
I was bleeding to deathinternally, and how I found this
out was about two weeks.
So we have in the military wehad what's called a periodic
(04:51):
health assessment and about twoweeks maybe a month prior to
that, I was sitting on my couch.
We had just woken up.
It was like eight o'clock inthe morning.
I wound up passing out untilfour or five o'clock that
afternoon.
It was like, wow, that's weirdpassing out until four or five
o'clock that afternoon.
She was like, wow, that's weird, it's already four.
Why did I pass out?
I just felt lethargic.
Everything was weird.
Anyways, I ate, something wentto bed.
(05:11):
I felt fine, so I had.
It was what I know now to be aflare up.
I was bleeding a little bit atwork.
I thought I could get it offthe toilet enough when I flushed
or whatever, so nobody wouldsee it.
And, mind you, after I hadstarted bleeding, in February I
went to warrior leaders course,which is the non-commissioned
officer development course inthe army, and I finished, I
(05:34):
believe, 12th or 15th in myclass.
So I was up there in theranking of the class.
But I did PT tests.
I was in the field.
We did road marches, land nav,we did all sorts of stuff while
this was going on and I toughedit out.
I was in the field.
We did road marches, land nav,we did all sorts of stuff while
this was going on and I toughedit out because I was scared,
didn't know how to deal with it,didn't know what it was.
And then, after I graduatedthat school, the army said hey,
(05:54):
we want you to go be a recruiter, which brings me to the time
period we're at.
So I went to recruiter school.
Well, I finished recruiterschool and I came back.
I was recruiting in Georgetown,texas.
So this brings us to where we'reat now, when I was talking
about passing out.
And the weird thing is is Irode a motorcycle for seven and
a half years.
It was my only motortransportation.
It was a little ninja.
(06:14):
It makes it kind of scary,right.
So I'm bleeding.
I passed out, had no idea whatwas going on.
Well, I get, I get to work,start bleeding at work every
once in a while.
And then my little tiny femalecenter commander the first
female I'd ever had in charge methe entire time I was in the
army and she's hard.
She comes out of the bathroomone day and I'm sitting at my
(06:36):
desk and she goes.
Look, it's not that time of themonth for me.
I don't know who's bleeding inthis office, but somebody needs
to come clean.
And I was like damn it.
And I went back and I talked toher and I was like, sorry, I
think it's me and she goes.
She looked at me dumbfounded.
I was like, yeah, this has beenhappening.
She's like when's your nextperiodic health assessment?
I was like on the 12th Ibelieve it was the 12th or the
(06:56):
10th of October and she goes Iwant you to bring it up at your
PHA.
So I had taken pictures of someof the clotting and when I'd go
to wipe and I'd have a bloodclot on the paper or on the
toilet paper and how look likesomebody poured.
Somebody poured red wine intothe toilet.
It was that dark so I tookpictures of that, took pictures
(07:17):
of the clots in the toilet, tookpictures of the clots on the
toilet paper.
And I go to my periodic healthassessment.
Well, I go through everythingand, mind you, I've been driving
, walking, recruiting, I've beendoing my military thing, not
knowing what's going on with me.
I've been playing with my son,I've been riding motorcycles in
my motorcycle club, all thisstuff.
I've been living my life,normal, not knowing that I'm
(07:39):
dying.
So I get to the periodic healthassessment and I show the nurse
practitioner and she looked atme scared.
I had the scared look on herface.
This is old lady.
And she puts her hand righthere and she pulls down my
eyelid and it's white like bonewhite, okay, and she goes
sweetheart, I need you to laydown.
And I was like what do you mean?
She goes?
You are, there's no blood inyour face.
(08:00):
She's like I don't understandit.
But there's no blood in yourface.
I need you to lay down and Ineed you to just stay there.
You're going to go to the ER.
So she called the ambulance.
I had no blood platelets in myface, how it was moving, how I
was functioning, how my brainwas working, I don't know.
So she lays me down, I go tothe ER and then, mentally I
(08:20):
guess, I get to the safe placeand everything starts happening
the pain, the cramps, and youknow, I think about this now.
Before that I had had topplingcramping in my stomach.
It would be so severe sometimeswhere I would have to bend at
the waist and I couldn't breathe, and it was just like it would
be, like I got hit in the gutwith like a baseball bat and it
(08:43):
would happen random and I'd haveto catch my breath and I'd have
to be like I'm all right.
So I had had the crampingbefore.
I knew what the gut pain was,but I didn't know what it was,
what was causing it.
So I go to Darnell, which isthe hospital at Fort Hood, and
they didn't even want to admitme, like it was that bad.
They're like, oh, this guy'sfull of shit, all this other
(09:06):
stuff.
They didn't want to admit me.
My blood count was so low and Iwas in so much pain.
They literally strapped me to astanding gurney and pumped me
full of Dilaudid and then theystarted an infusion because it
took three full units of bloodin seven days to get my blood
platelets to finally stabilize.
They were that low I wasliterally on the verge of dying
due to blood loss internal bloodloss.
(09:27):
So they don't want to admit me.
Their gastroenterologist is outon leave.
They don't have a backup.
There's nobody that can see me.
They don't want to handle it atDarnell up in Fort Hood, so
they send me to Fort Sam,houston.
So I get ambulanced.
The three-hour ride to Fort Samfrom Fort Hood, texas, and I
meet this Indian dude thecoolest can be and his name is
(09:50):
Dr Anish Patel.
Well, dr Patel takes me on andwe get the test going.
The go lightly going.
If you know what go lightly is,it is horrible.
And they gave it to me while Iwas getting an infusion.
So what does that mean?
You can't move.
So you want to talk about ashitty situation?
It was a shitty situation.
(10:11):
They gave me a little bedsidetoilet and when it came out, it
came out, it was like waterbeing dumped out of a bucket
loader into a bowl and ithitting the center of the bowl
and wrapping up the walls of thebowl and wrapping up the walls,
the bowl, and coming up andcascading out.
So that gives you an idea ofhow my experience with ibd
(10:33):
started.
That next morning I get mycolossus, my colonoscopy, and
without hesitation he was likeyou have inflammatory bowels.
I was like what's that goes,you have ulcerative colitis.
I was like what's that?
And he's like, well, it's staysin your small.
They did a biopsy, is what theydid.
And then they came back andfound that I had ulcerative
colitis and so he goes, well,it's this, and ulcers form in
(10:58):
your large intestine and itcauses you to bleed.
You get fissures that form inyour intestine and you bleed out
.
I was like, well, how did I getit?
He said it was pretty much anenzyme in your body that lays
dormant, kind of like HIV orAIDS, and it takes a bacteria,
stressful event or, you know,you eat a foreign food.
A whole bunch of differentstuff could have caused it.
Well, at this time the armydidn't know what was going on
(11:21):
because, naturally, out ofnowhere, hundreds of soldiers
were coming down withinflammatory bowel disease,
hundreds.
And it all started after Iraqstarted over again Later on,
when I, after I had beendiagnosed, dr Patel had got it
under control with medicationtherapy.
So we got it under control.
I was doing the suppositories,I was doing the enemas, I was
(11:44):
doing everything to quill it.
We hadn't gone to infusiontreatment because at the time it
didn't exist.
So I got ulcerative colitiswhen it was still young and they
were still figuring it out.
The reason why we have thetreatments for it today that we
have is because of the influx ofpatients with it that came back
from overseas.
It was like, okay, we need tofix this, let's find a way to
(12:05):
treat this and help these peoplenot have the surgery that I'm
gonna get into that I had.
So I had it under control.
Everything was great.
I was able to lose weight, likeeverything was going, and then
I come down on recruiting ordersand I get my orders and I
managed to get everything goingthe way it should be going.
First I was supposed to PCS toWisconsin and magically I didn't
(12:27):
wind up going to Wisconsin.
I wound up going to Nevada andthat's where I met my wife.
I get married and six monthsinto our marriage I have a flare
up.
This time it's bad and themedication stopped working.
Nothing was working.
To quill it, they put me onprednisone, a steroid that at
180 milligrams a day for a totalof a year and a half, and I
(12:49):
went from 200 pounds, 200 to 235pounds with a 32 inch waist you
know, prime of my life six pack, looking studly, you know.
And a year and a half later I'm298 pounds from inflammation
and from the steroid, the weightgain and everything.
And you look like I look like Icould be popped with a needle
(13:11):
and fly through the air.
We tried hormone therapy withlike supplements of like
different minerals and stuffthat my body might have been
lacking.
I went to a chiropractic likewhich doctor I guess you want to
call it?
The ones that do like theelectrode testing and they tell
you what your body is lacking in.
So I tried that, tried to comeoff of the prednisone.
(13:31):
We tried infusion therapy but myinflammation was so far gone I
didn't take to the infusion, itjust made me sick and it was
like having chemotherapy.
So the infusion treatmentwasn't taking, it wasn't working
and the problem was the team inNevada didn't know how to treat
it.
They didn't have a specialist.
They had a gastroenterologistbut they didn't have a
(13:53):
specialist and Dr Patel beingthe specialist that he is,
that's why he was able to treatit, so my flare up couldn't have
happened at the worst time.
They treated incorrectly.
They keep me on steroids.
I become steroid dependent,meaning it will no longer stop
bleeding without the steroids.
(14:16):
So my option now is cut my largeintestine out and either do a J
pouch, which is pretty much aninternal bag with your small
intestine, or get a permanentbag on the outside.
I'm young, I'm in my 20s, 30sand I'm sitting here.
I'm like I have a bag thatfills up with stool all day long
sitting on the front of mystomach, or I have an internal
bag that I'm supposed to havemuscular restraint with.
(14:37):
I'm supposed to be able to.
Oh, I'm having a movement.
I need to use the restroom.
Yeah, that's a crock of shit.
It doesn't happen like that.
If you got to go, you got to goand you don't really have time
to delay.
So, anyways, I came to thedecision to cut my large
intestine out when I went toanother periodic health
assessment and I was gettingevaluated because I was either
(14:58):
going to get med boarded or Iwas going to get chaptered out
of the army for weight gainbecause I got to 298 pounds and
they didn't want to do theirresearch.
They didn't want to understand,they didn't want to believe
that prednisone, a medication,could make me gain that much
weight and all this other stuff.
So a major in the marine corps,actually, something I never
thought I'd ever have happen,because they're marines I'm not
(15:20):
talking bad about marines, butthey've got a way of thinking
like drink some water, take aknee, get over it and drive on
Right, and so does the infantry,hence why I'm in this situation
.
And it got as bad as it did.
So he goes listen to me, theonly person that is going to
take care of you is you.
He goes this is severe.
You could be on the toilet oneday and you could be thinking
(15:42):
you're using the restroom.
You could hemorrhage and bleedout and die on that toilet.
I was like, okay, he goes.
Go to your gastroenterologistand tell them you want a full
colectomy surgery and cut it outand either do a J pouch or do a
bag, but you need to get rid ofit.
It's the only thing that'sgoing to cure you.
So I opted for the J pouch and Iwent and saw the
(16:02):
gastrointestinal surgeon.
It took him 10 seconds.
He bent me over his table,stuck the little scope in my
butt.
He looked at it and said, okay,you qualify.
You have the worst lookingcolon I've ever seen.
I was like, really he goes.
Your colon is so inflamed Idon't think there's a single
spot on it that does not have anulcer.
(16:23):
I was like, okay, he goes.
Can you be in surgery in twoweeks, cause that's when we're
doing it.
I'm like, okay.
So two weeks later I have afull colectomy.
It was around April 2015.
I had my surgery.
I went in.
I was completely overweightbecause of the prednisone and I
had they.
They did invasive.
They cut me open, filleted meopen with on the operating table
(16:46):
, so all my guts were exposed.
They stuck their hands downinto my pelvis and he said he
wanted to do it evasivelybecause he wanted to make sure
he got all the infected tissue.
He didn't.
So they made the J pouch and Ihad to heal.
I wasn't having movements but Iwould get drainage because I
had an ileostomy bag while my Jpouch was healing.
(17:06):
So they go to pop the staplesafter 15 days and my wound
explodes and pus pours down mysides, pours down my belly
because I had an infection in myabdomen after they stapled me
shut because they didn't cleanit properly and they did not
treat the infection when itfirst started.
(17:27):
So the infection had burrowedits way to my abdominal wall and
started eating the fascia awayon my abdominal wall.
And if anybody doesn't knowwhat that is, if you take your
hands and you put your fingerstogether, like all the way to
where your knuckles are touching, and it looks woven together,
that's what your abdominal walland your fascia is supposed to
look like under your skin.
(17:48):
But if you take those andseparate those where your
fingertips are touching slightly, you know, like interlaced,
that's what my abdominal walllooks like.
Back to the surgery, I didn'tknow my fascia had been eaten
through by the infection.
So they put me in a wound vacto clean out the infected tissue
and get my abdomen to heal.
My abdomen healed after aboutfour months and that was some of
(18:09):
the most pain I've ever felt inmy life was getting a wound vac
changed.
They had to fill it with twovials of lidocaine before they
could remove it.
It was just excruciating.
So did that for four monthsEvery other day, driving from
Susanville, california, to Reno,nevada, and back and forth
every other day.
After the surgery I was laid upfor six months, lost a bunch of
weight because I wasn't eatingand I was on pain pills.
(18:32):
So for six months I was hoppedup on hydrocodone or Oxycontin
or whatever they put me on forthe pain and my pain had
subsided and I didn't know itbecause I was staying high,
pretty much off the opiatessubsided, and I didn't know it
because I was staying high,pretty much off the opiates.
So that was another thing thatI overcame in this whole process
was not realizing I had becomeaddicted to opiates.
When I realized I had becomeaddicted to the pain pills, I
(18:55):
flushed them down the toilet andI got rid of them and I said
I'm going to deal with this pain, no matter how bad it is, and
I'm going to kick this.
I had the sweats, scratches andtwitches and I locked myself in
my room and I just dealt withthem and now that I've been in
corrections and in law I couldhave killed myself, not knowing
it, just flushing them down.
I didn't detox.
My detox was quick, fast, hurryand a slap in the face and I
(19:19):
had no idea.
So I overcame that.
I no longer use any type ofopiate pain medication, even
when I'm in the hospital foranything, unless it's in a
controlled environment.
Anyways, back to what we weretalking about.
So I have my surgery, have theinfection wound, vac and I have
a J pouch now Thinkingeverything was going to be great
hunky dory, and I'm stillhaving issues.
(19:41):
I'm not bleeding, but I'm goingall the time.
I have no control.
I'm not bleeding, but I'm goingall the time.
I have no control.
If I got to go, I got to go.
I'm scared to go swimming, I'mscared to do anything like that,
any type of strain.
I'm scared to do anythingstrenuous because I'm worried
I'm going to leak out on mybackside because the muscle
control is just not there.
I go to a follow-up.
The doctor's like oh, it's justyour body getting used to the
(20:11):
surgery, it's just your bodyadjusting and blah, blah, blah.
They didn't do a colonoscopy,they didn't do an endoscopy,
they didn't do anything to checkit.
So for three and a half yearsI'm living like this, spending
80 to 90% of my day on thetoilet, no matter what I ate.
I had no quality of life.
We went to Florida to visit herdad at her dad's new house
because he lives in Nevada andin Florida he's a big name real
estate guy.
So he's got two locations wherehe lives different times of the
(20:33):
year.
And we go to Nevada or we go toFlorida.
And when I say it was a problem, my 80 to 90% of my day in the
bathroom was they told me not topush to let it fall out because
of the bag, the internal bagpouch, the J pouch.
I would be in that bathroom andnot even realize it for 30
(20:54):
minutes to an hour every time.
My wife said sometimes youwouldn't even realize it, brian,
but you'd be in there for twoand a half hours.
We could watch a whole movie Ifwe were going to go somewhere
and he said give me a second, Ineed to use the restroom.
They would turn a movie on inthe living room and wait for me.
So I had no quality of life andit was bothersome for my family
and others and people becauseit was hard for me to do
(21:16):
anything.
If I had a project I was doing,it'd take me freaking a month
to complete that project becauseof how often I'd have to use
the restroom.
So in 2019, after all this, wehad moved from Nevada back to
Texas.
I had medically retired out ofthe army.
In 2019, we moved back to Texasand it's just getting worse and
worse and worse.
And now I'm getting every nervein my body firing at the same
(21:41):
time when I'm using the restroom.
No clue why.
None of my blood work was evershowing.
High white blood cell countsdidn't show I had infection,
nothing like that.
So I reach out to thegastroenterology team and I and
I ask is Dr Patel still workingthere?
Yes, he is.
So Dr Patel in 2019, comes tomy rescue.
(22:02):
He's like where you been?
I was like I this.
I was like where have you been?
And he's like I was here.
You know, becoming the headcertified person in the in the
military and I was like, well, Iwas getting screwed over in
Nevada and they didn't know howto treat me thing.
And here I am.
This is what's happened.
This is where I'm at help me,and he did the scopes and he did
(22:25):
the tests he needed to do and Ihave pouchitis because the
doctor left infected tissue onmy anus, my sphincter muscle,
and the moment my smallintestine tissue touched my
sphincter muscle on the internalmoment my small intestine
tissue touched my sphinctermuscle on the internal side, it
became infected with ulcerativecolitis.
So again, I'm suffering fromIBD and I didn't even know it
and there's really not a wholelot we could do about it.
(22:47):
So I toughed it out for alittle bit and then something
told me cut your intestine, justcut it out, be done with it.
You're never going to heal fromthis one.
So it leads me to where I'm attoday.
I have a permanent ileostomybag on the left side, where a
colostomy bag should be.
I have my ileostomy bag becauseI had a previous ileostomy bag
(23:08):
on my right and the doctordidn't want to put it over
existing scar tissue, which isunderstandable.
Right, which leads me to this.
Ivd surgeries can lead to othercomplications.
So on top of getting theinfection, on top of everything
else, the doctor left infectedtissue and he left scar tissue
and he left a jumbled mess in mypelvis from where he had gone
(23:32):
in there with his hands andphysically pulled my large
intestine away and cut it frommy sphincter and connected my
small intestine and created theJ pouch.
Everything was technicallyfused together.
The doctor didn't know where tocut.
So when the doctor made hisincision not backing out and
saying we need to reevaluatethis and go back in he made a
(23:53):
cut and he cut through myurinals and if you don't know
what your urinal is, it's theinternal vascular tube for your
penis.
He cut through my urinals,cutting the membrane that
controls functionality.
So that was a big shot to mylife.
So from 2019 until now, it'sjust now starting to come back
(24:15):
to life and a way to where I canuse it.
So IBD did not only affect mebowel-wise, it affected me
relationship, emotionally,physically.
Everything you could think oflike it sent me into this
whirlwind of depression.
I felt less of a man, all thisother stuff.
But the good thing was, eventhough he screwed me over and
(24:37):
that was the one thing I askedhim not to do because I knew the
complications and his first cutscrewed me.
I don't know if he was ashamedor embarrassed, but he left my
wife waiting in the waiting roomof the general surgery clinic
at BAMC I'm not going to giveany names because he's no longer
practicing but he left my wifethere with nobody.
Nobody came and updated her onthe surgeries.
(24:59):
Nobody did anything like that.
She was there from seven in themorning and this 12 hours till
seven at night and they hadturned the lights off to the
waiting room on her and she wassitting there.
Nobody had come back to her.
She thought I was dead.
So he left me under the knifefor 12 and a half hours.
He over anesthetized me and Iwoke up with a suprapubic
catheter, a penile catheter, anileostomy bag and he had cut my
(25:23):
anus out because we wentpermanent and he sewed me shut
and a hole in my butt as big asthis mason jar.
So I spent three months in thehospital.
They left the catheter in forsix weeks, didn't change it,
didn't check on it.
Urology forgot about me and Ibrought it up all the time.
Nothing happened.
Well, they go to pull it out.
(25:43):
And when they pull it out,instead of tubularly shrinking
down to size, it flattens like apancake and make sharp sides on
the catheter.
So when the doctor and she tomy luck she was a female she
rips it out, she knew it wasgoing to be bad.
She didn't say anything, but Icould see her face before she
pulled and she knew that thetube had collapsed.
(26:05):
So when she pulled out thecatheter it cut down the sides
of my urethra and I thought Ihad felt pain with the, with the
wound back, at wound back, andgot shit on that.
Let me tell you.
She said that I went pale whitelike a ghost.
There was no telltale sign.
My eyes started flooding, mylips started quivering and I
(26:26):
looked like a baby that had justgotten spanked for the first
time.
And I, she said I, looked moreinnocent than a newborn baby.
And the tears and in the painthat went through my body, she
legitimately, instantly, becauseshe was a mom, she instantly
grabbed me, pulled me to herbosom and started slowly rocking
(26:47):
and petting my head and sayingit's OK, we're done, I am so
sorry.
And then she went on to explainto me what happened.
So IBD has led me to all ofthis.
I have a permanent bag now.
I spent three months in thehospital healing.
I went through hyperbaricchamber treatment trying to get
the skin and everything to healon my backside because it just
got to a point where itplateaued and I was walking.
(27:09):
I was doing everything and Idon't know what was going on.
But three months go by and Ifinally said no, it's small
enough to where I'm not going toget infected.
If I go home and I can make itback to get it repacked, they
would dry pack it, bandage it,send me on my way, dry pack it,
bandage it.
So three months later I go home, dry pack it.
Every other day I'm going toSan Antonio to get it repacked
(27:30):
and checked on.
And it was healed within twoweeks.
It was done, no issues.
So during the time of me havingIBD I was still working out or
trying to.
I was in the army.
When I got out I became a carsalesman.
I was a manager at the AcademySporting Goods store, all this
stuff, but I started to havemore issues.
So this was the hardest partwas working while I was spending
(27:53):
80 to 90% of my day in thebathroom.
They couldn't fire me because Iwas 100 percent disabled, that
they couldn't fire me for mymedical issue.
But they ostracized me and theypushed me out without making it
obvious.
Does that make sense?
So I get pushed out of everyjob that I'm at.
They can't legally fire me, sothey don't fire me.
(28:15):
They would just make it hell towhere I quit and I would move
on to something else.
And that went on for at leastsix jobs, seven jobs.
It got to the point where Ifinally said forget it, let's
get a lawyer, let's get SocialSecurity going.
I'm obviously going to beretired for the rest of my life.
I gave up.
I got that depressed because Icouldn't hold a job.
(28:35):
I couldn't keep it.
Ibd had taken my life away fromme.
I couldn't be a cop anymore.
I had tried out for the statetroopers.
They failed me at the polygraphbecause they said it was
inconclusive and that theycouldn't read my polygraph test.
So they had to deem itdeceptive and they said come
back in a year.
Come to find out later from theinvestigator that they failed
(28:57):
me for the ulcerative colitisbecause they didn't want me to
be in pursuit of somebody andhave either a flare up or need
to use the restroom and then Ieither have an accident all over
myself, have an accident on thesuspect.
You know what I mean.
So, just, they didn't wantsomething bad to happen, which
is understandable, but that wasmy plan B.
I got medically retired.
My next step in life was I wasgoing to become a state trooper,
(29:19):
I was going to become anofficer of some kind, I wanted
to be in law enforcement.
Well, that's when thedepression spiraled and
everything else happened.
So, after the depressionstarted and anxiety came because
I quit dipping, I quit smoking,I quit everything, I quit
drinking and I really quitdrinking when I found out that
the steroids had made mediabetic and I didn't know I was
(29:40):
having hot flashes.
I was passing out at work, Iwas.
I felt I was having anxietyattacks because of the hot
flashes and everything and Iwould run outside because I was
working at CBE as a fraudprevention specialist and it had
an outside patio area and itwas during the winter, when I
was six months of.
It was during the winter and Iwent out there in New Braunfels
(30:02):
and we had snow that year and Iwould literally lay on the bench
and let the rain, the cold air,the snow, whatever it was, fall
on me to cool me off.
Because I was eating gummybears.
I was drinking Monster.
I was vaping because I missedthe habit, but it was.
There was no nicotine, it wasjust the flavor, which I'm glad.
I quit everything, I don't evendo that anymore.
(30:24):
So the day I found out I wasdiabetic, I finally went to my
doctor's like, hey, this ishappening.
She's like, all right, well,let's do some blood work.
I do some blood work the day Ihave a follow up on that blood
work.
I had a bowl of cereal andwater.
That's all I'd had that entireday.
She did a pinprick finger prick, checked my blue-close levels.
I was at 500, 496.
(30:44):
And before she did that she hadsaid well, we found out you're
diabetic, your A1C is a 9.5.
And I was like what 9.5?
There's no way.
My A1C was like five, six weeksago and she's like, no, you
have a 9.5.
And she goes I'm sending you tothe medication therapist doctor
(31:06):
that's going to help prescribe,you know, your insulin and
whatever else.
So they put me on Bidurion andinsulin when I had my surgery.
In that three months in thehospital I spent it reset my
system and I haven't been on anyinsulin or anything since 2019.
And I've been able to controlit and maintain it with my diet
and I'm actually diabetes free.
I was at a 5.5.
(31:26):
So if I lost that 0.5, I'm nolonger pre-diabetic.
I always have it because I hadit, but it's dormant.
Unless I let my diet lax and Istart eating drinking soda,
eating all the bad candies andstuff again, then it'll come
back.
But as of right now, I'm nolonger pre-diabetic.
So I beat that.
(31:46):
But the IBD gave that to mebecause of the steroids I had to
take to control the IBD, whichleads me to the last medical
issue I had with it, I knowright, and there's more, which
leads me to the last medicalissue I had with it, I know
right, and there's more.
I came down with heart failurebecause the steroids gave me
diabetes, which affects yourheart and everything else.
My blood pressure meds were nolonger working the way I thought
(32:06):
they were and I had a quack fora doctor that said oh, 146 over
96 is normal.
You're a big dude.
You walked up the stairs fromoutside.
96 is normal, you're a big dude.
You walked up the stairs fromoutside like this is normal
blood pressure, you're fine.
Yeah right, it overworked myheart for so long.
So in 2019, I tried to do thelaw enforcement thing again.
I finally got my.
(32:27):
I took my depression, I grabbedit.
I grabbed it.
I said I'm going to make achange, I'm going to do
something with my life and I'mgoing to make this change happen
.
I want to be a cop, so Iapplied for the police academy.
I passed the exam.
I couldn't pass the bloodpressure.
And then I'm doing my dishesand I have a pseudo heart attack
but they called it a pseudoheart attack because it wasn't a
(32:48):
heart attack, but it was aheart attack type thing.
And anyways, five days in thehospital, tests and they say
well, it's your hypertension.
So I get on medication, therapy, 100% recovery.
So I go from 285 pounds.
When I start my recoveryjourney from the blood pressure,
I go from 285 pounds down to235 pounds in about eight months
(33:10):
.
So 2019, 2020 ish till about2021.
I didn't do shit.
So from 2019, 2020-ish tillabout 2021, I didn't do shit.
I sat on the chair and Iactually did worse for my heart
than if I had gotten up andtried to do something about it,
because I got scared.
My anxiety kicked in.
I didn't want to die, I didn'twant to overexert myself, didn't
want to have a heart attack.
I was like, oh my God, my lifehas stopped now.
(33:33):
So that was that depression,all caused by the steroids which
I had to take because of theIBD.
So recover from that.
And I was a school teacher.
While I was in that I startedout with subbing.
Then I did long term sub andthen I got my teaching
certificate.
But I had issues while I wasdoing that.
I'd have to get support for myclass so I could go use the
(33:54):
restroom whatever, empty my bag,because I had a permanent bag
at the time.
It just made it awkward.
And I had worked for a steelmill before I found out I was
diabetic.
So I was in the extreme heat,not realizing that it was
diabetes that was making me feelthat way, which is oh.
And working in the steel plantis how I found out I had no
abdominal wall.
From the infection, I got ahernia in the like right under
(34:16):
my ribs on the right side.
I got a hernia in the center ofmy abdomen and when I went to
go get it fixed, they couldn'tfix anything because there was
nothing to repair.
So what they did is they took25 inches of bio mesh and they
strategically placed it on mywhat was left of my abdominal
wall to reinforce it.
So I have a mesh abdominal wallnow.
(34:37):
Hopefully my muscles are growinginto that mesh and rebuilding
itself, which was the plan.
All caused from the IBD.
But long story short, after Igot done with teaching I went
and worked in the jail.
I went from 285 pounds down to235, got my life back, went to
go work for the jail.
When I realized the jail wasn'tgoing to sponsor us for the
sheriff's department, I appliedfor the police academy again.
(34:58):
I got in.
Six months later I am now aSaghin police officer.
That is my whole IBD journey.
Speaker 3 (35:04):
First off, thank you for your service and thank you
for your story.
Cheers to you to getting towhere you are today.
That is wow.
There are times when I reallyjust don't know what to say.
And to say the first thing isis that you're a trail warrior
for going through all of thatand it's incredible.
One of my biggest things I lookat is like for us people going
(35:27):
through IBD is you know, theindomitable spirit is so strong
and it's so strong in you to gothrough every single thing you
went through and facing deathmultiple times and all adversity
, and now here you are and nowyour life is going in the
direction that deserves to gointo.
So I'm really happy that nowit's going the way that it
deserves.
(35:47):
From that you deserve to gothrough.
I appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Yeah, that was quite the ride.
That is like everything thatpossibly could have gone wrong
went wrong, and I'm stillboggled a bit by the fact that,
like, somehow you're like theunlucky one that's just like no,
not that it's like somehowyou're the unlucky one that,
like everything seemed to go.
It's not like it's one thinggoes wrong, it's like shit.
If it's going to happen, it'sgoing to happen to you.
Speaker 4 (36:11):
Yeah, the worst thing that happened that I forgot to
mention during my big surgery,when they cut my anus out and
they gave me a permanent bag.
So the doctor had kept me underthe knife for 12 and a half
hours and gave me too muchanesthesia.
So, not being my first surgery,my body was no longer as strong
as it used to be because I hadother abdominal surgeries.
So I don't know if it was theanesthesia, but something
(36:34):
disassociated my, myneurological connection between
my lungs, but I wasn't able tostart breathing on my own the
way I should have been.
I was struggling with it, sothey intubated me and they
strapped me to a gurney withrestraints and I woke up in ICU
and that was probably thescariest thing.
And then the ICU nurse is likeyeah, dude, you almost died.
(36:55):
You weren't breathing on yourown.
They had to intubate you andsend you to ICU and hear you
wait until you wake up.
Speaker 3 (37:01):
Yeah, Whoa oh my.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
God that is.
God Well, and you know theytalk about.
There's very much traumaassociated with when they have
to intubate people, because ofhow traumatizing it is, because
of having to be strapped downand having something breathe for
you.
That that is not.
Your brain doesn't like it,your body doesn't like it.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
And something you're just not expecting to that just
makes it all worse, like you're.
Just you're thinking that it'llbe not as bad, but then, like
everything, just kind of hittingit at once.
It's just the confusion youhave, and it must have been so
scary.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
Yeah, because you go to sleep and everything's fine,
you know, aside from you gettinga big ass surgery.
And then you wake up and you'relike what is in my mouth,
what's down my throat, what isgoing on here?
And like you're scared becauseyou're just looking at a clock
and a bunch of sound.
You know sounds are going offinside the ICU and you can't
move.
You're like why can't I move?
And you're like cause you gotsomething stuck in your mouth
(37:55):
and you can't so yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:01):
There's one thing I wanted to ask you.
Cause this was?
You know?
You've mentioned this in thedocument you sent beforehand
before you came on.
The podcast talked about God,and I see you wear a cross too,
and I wear one too, and one ofthe things that helped me, I
have a strong faith in God, andis that something that helps you
throughout all these years ofgoing through IBD and your
journey?
Speaker 4 (38:21):
So I grew up in the Southern Baptist Church and I
have been up and down with myfaith.
I have lost my faith and foundmy faith and lost my faith and
found my faith.
So I found it again through mydaughter, who we had never
talked about God Because at thetime I was I was struggling with
it, I was following Norsepaganism.
And then, out of nowhere, mygrandmother had given me a
(38:43):
little figurine of Jesus Christand it was by itself sitting up
on a shelf and we had nevertalked about God or Jesus or
anything to her Nobody.
And she goes.
She asked Mommy, daddy, is thatJesus?
And I was like what, where didyou hear that name?
And then, magically, prince ofEgypt.
The cartoon was on TV and itwas my daughter's favorite show.
(39:07):
All she wanted to watch wasPrince of Egypt.
So we found our faith again.
My wife got baptized when wemoved to Texas.
Everything was good.
And then we moved out here towhere I live now in Seguin,
bought a house and then all thateverything came crashing down
again.
We couldn't find a churchbecause I'm not into the whole
speaking in tongues.
So I lost my faith again and Iwent back to Norse paganism, on
(39:28):
into the whole speaking intongues.
So I lost my faith again and Iwent back to Norse paganism.
And I really lost my faithafter I almost died on the
operating table after my bigsurgery and my wife went through
a really bad depression andstint when I had this last
surgery because I was in thehospital for so long so she kind
of didn't come see me all thetime.
So I got lost again, lost myfaith and for years, for four or
(39:52):
five years, I denounced it andthen I went to the police
academy and I found my faithagain in the police academy
because for three months priorto that I had started getting
religious stuff on my Facebookfeed and my social media and I'm
like, what the hell is this?
You know I don't look upreligious stuff.
Why am I getting the gospel?
Because I had broken down, Iwas scared of failure and it
seemed like everything good thatstarted in my life would be
(40:12):
ripped away for some reason.
Ever since I started denouncingmy faith and said I was, ever
since I got mad at God Right.
So I'm in the police academy andI had already broken down to my
wife on the way home one daybecause the PT was so hard with
my bag and heart failure,recovery and everything I had so
much against me that theylooked at me as weak.
(40:32):
So I had to prove myself.
On top of being trying to keepup with 20 year old kids you
know they eat.
I'm 40 years old, I'm not 20years old anymore Like it's hard
to keep up.
So and then, randomly, two guysin the academy talked to just
randomly started talking to meabout God one day.
They just asked me, they justtalked to me about it.
(40:53):
I was like, yeah, I grew up inthe, so this is me now.
And they're like well, blah,blah, blah.
And I went home and we all 12 ofus came down with COVID, so
they canceled class for a week.
Well, I came, I came home and Iwas like babe, you know trying
to say something.
She stopped me and she goeslook, I will go to church with
you.
She goes obviously, this iswhat you need.
You need me to go with you.
You're never going to go.
(41:13):
You know what you want youranswer.
I found my faith through theacademy because I knew I could
not do it on my own and I wastired of having the things that
happened in my life be rippedaway.
Ibd and all of my medicaltraumas caused by the IBD and
then me trying to move forwardin my life all combined is what
brought me back to God, and I'venever had a stronger faith
(41:51):
because I know he wouldn't haveput me strength to keep pushing
and not make that quick fix to along-term problem, you know, or
a long-term solution to ashort-term problem and things
like that.
So I honestly believeeverything happens for a reason
and yeah, so yes, to answer yourquestion God is.
He is my rock.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
I believe in that too , where everything happens for a
reason, but it's also.
I know a lot of people that gothrough those ups and downs and
believing in faith, because somepeople do, some people don't.
And I grew up ChristianArmenian Orthodox and when I was
in the hospital for weeks at atime, my mom, you know, she
would bring holy water andbefore surgery she would like
(42:27):
put it on my forehead, and attimes I don't remember because I
was so out of it.
I think I pushed her hand awayat one point because I was like
why?
And people question that butthere are times when it comes
back to you, like it did withthe police academy and these
other cadets coming to you too.
And the fact that your wifesupports you too with that, I
think, is so vital as well.
(42:48):
Saying like I'll go with youand to have a partner like that
is as a great support system.
You know, not everyone does,but that's something that helps
you get through it too as well.
It's these like pillars, likethese pillars that help you get
through the darkness.
Speaker 4 (43:03):
And you know how.
I knew God was watching me inthe hospital was there was a
nurse and I can't remember hername.
Knew God was watching me in thehospital was there was a nurse
and I can't remember her name.
She was an air force nurse andshe would pray for me every day.
I could hear her prayingoutside of my room and she gave
me a card.
She said hey, I know God hasput you here for something
greater than what you thinkyou're dealing with now.
It's just he and she was likethis is going to make you
(43:25):
stronger.
So yeah, faith is a big part ofdealing with IBD.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
You're no longer in the military, but you were 100%
service-connected disability, soyou're still able to get your
care through the medical system.
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (43:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
How does that work?
How are you still able to seeDr Patel when, again, he is
based on a military center?
No-transcript.
Speaker 4 (44:19):
VA.
If you can pay your copay, I'dsuggest going to a civilian
doctor, and if you do, becausethe VA is not a guaranteed
specific doctor.
Every time their doctors change, so you're not going to see the
same doctor twice and when itcomes to IBD, a relationship
with your doctor is key.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
A hundred percent, yeah, yeah, no.
And I think I mean there aresome folks that you know are
this is going to sound weird butluckier than you, and that they
get a milder disease course,and so it is more manageable for
them to go to a surgeon, go toa doctor that's less experienced
.
But there are definitely peoplethat you know that's not the
dice they roll, and you know,and so they do need somebody
(44:55):
that's a lot more specialized.
You know, I do know some peoplethat they're like you know, you
see they've, you know they goon some azathioprine and it kind
of clears it up a little bitand they're kind of able to go
about their lives.
But that's the folks that wetypically talk to, are the more
like you who have a much morecomplicated disease course and
really need to see somebody whois specialized.
And sometimes what we tell thepeople too is, like you know, go
(45:17):
to some of these folks, get asecond opinion.
They can oftentimes work with acommunity GI, somebody who's
not as specialized in IBD, tohelp manage your case too, if
you're not complicated.
But but boy, brian, that's notyou, that's definitely not you.
So I'm glad you have, I haveaccess to the right person as
(45:37):
somebody who comes from themilitary system very mild, male
dominated, suck it up, take aknee kind of side of things and
you struggled with some reallyyou know significant mental
health struggles here.
What did you do to sort of takethat on?
Speaker 4 (45:47):
You know that's a hard one, and if I choke up
don't you dare judge me.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
I don't know, I cry on the show all the time.
Speaker 4 (45:55):
So, man, I still deal with it.
To be honest with you, I dealwith it every day, between all
of my medical traumas and myheart, everything accumulated
into one whole and cutting allthe vices out of my life.
When I was studying Norsepaganism, it was, it was my
faith in in the old gods and theold ways, because I believe in
(46:18):
crystals.
Crystals do hold energies andhold powers, healing powers.
Amethysts and obsidian, onyx,you know, amethyst centers you
and creates balance.
Onyx and obsidian help ward offnegativity and bad thoughts.
Selenite's a cleanser and thenrose quartz brings love and
faith into your body.
And then so I.
(46:39):
I have pocket stones that Ikeep.
I have an obsidian stone.
That's a thumb rub stone.
It's, it's a rubbing that Ikeep and I keep them in my
pocket every day.
I got a selenite, a rose quartz, an amethyst and an obsidian
stone that I keep in my pocketas close as possible to my skin.
I use that.
I refuse to take medicationbecause the last time I took
medication I wanted to killmyself.
(47:00):
It does not work on me, itmakes it worse.
I didn't believe in mentalillness.
It's just not how it was raised.
You were raised to get the hellover it.
It's life, life's hard Dealwith it.
Face it head on.
Nobody cares about youremotions, Nobody cares about how
you're feeling, you just needGod.
And I'm not saying thatnegativity because I believe
faith, love and hope are the keyto conquering depression,
(47:23):
anxiety and all your wins,anxiety and all your whims.
The worst thing is the anxietybecause now, whenever my body
temperature changes, I getnauseous because I'm super
hungry, my heart races a littlebit, I drink too much caffeine,
anything like that.
I'm starting to catch thetriggers and catch the symptoms,
but really it's just tellingyourself you're okay, having a
(47:45):
strong support system.
My wife has been key becausethere was one time I was driving
and all of a sudden, out ofnowhere, I got into a panic
attack.
And I had and I was doing ahundred miles an hour because I
felt like I couldn't breathe,thought I was having a heart
attack, thought I was dying.
And it was a panic attack.
And I go and I stopped at theBucks gas station not Bucky's
but Bucks in Laverne, texas, andI get out of my car real quick,
(48:07):
my truck real quick.
I just stand on the sidewalk infront of the store and I calm
down because I'm around otherpeople.
The mental anguish comes themost when I'm alone because I
didn't know I was dying again,like I was.
The first time when I gotdiagnosed with ulcerative
colitis, I didn't know that theJ pouch was killing me and
(48:27):
nobody knew it.
None of my blood work wastelling me I was infected when I
had infecting and decayingtissue in my pelvis that had
become septic.
So now, whenever, like mynerves flare or anything like
that, I get those jolts ofdifferent waves and frequencies
in my body, it's really hard.
It's hard to deal with it and Istill deal with the anxiety and
the panic attack.
(48:48):
But I honestly could not havedealt with it without my faith,
without my wife, without my kids.
My family gives me strength.
You need to know like beingable to deal with it is knowing
that you're not alone in thesituation.
And it took Dr Patel also DrPatel, helping me with that,
helping me understand that, hey,you're not alone, there's
people out there.
I've been this patient for 15years and that's why I say you
(49:11):
need a bond with your doctor toreally help you through IBD,
because it takes that and it'sbeen a nightmare, it's been a
roller coaster, but I'm nottooting my horn.
I'm not the normal person.
I've got a very strong will tolive.
I don't want to die.
I'm okay with death.
I understand it comes foreverybody.
I'm just I'm not ready to leavemy family alone.
(49:33):
So, no matter how bad mydepression and anxiety gets, I
will never succumb to it.
I will always find a way tofight through it.
But honestly, if I didn't havemy wife or my mom or my
grandmother to call on thosedays I had those panic attacks
when I was alone or by myself,and then just to be on the phone
with me and listen to me, itcould have been a lot worse.
(49:53):
I've called the ambulance acouple of times because I
thought I was having a heartattack and dying.
So yeah, but now I'm finallygetting a grip on my anxiety.
And I didn't have that gripuntil I found faith.
Like I thought I had faith,thought I had been baptized,
thought I was doing it going bythe numbers.
I did not know what faith wasand what his love and my love
(50:14):
for him were, until this yearI've been saw it for the last
eight months I can honestly sayI've truly found my faith and a
hundred percent understand it,and that's what helps me through
.
Speaker 1 (50:26):
I'm really glad that you found that, because that is
debilitating.
It is debilitating and so scary.
Speaker 3 (50:32):
Brian said, say we have to wrap up.
What's one piece of advice youwould give to others going
through their IBD journey rightnow?
Speaker 4 (50:41):
First thing would be to take a deep breath.
Take a deep breath, slow yourbrain down, take one day at a
time, not give up.
It's not a life ender.
It is a deep breath.
Slow your brain down, take oneday at a time, not give up.
It's not a life ender.
It is a life changer.
But be willing to adapt with itso that you can overcome it and
still live the life that youwere given to live.
Because if you hide from it orif you let the fear of it take
(51:02):
control of your life, you willnever live and you'll just
you'll slowly die miserablybecause you will feel like you
don't have a life anymore, likeI did.
And it will take you years tofinally realize that you can
still live a life of IBD thatyou had before.
It just might mean you have totell hey, I've got a bag, hey, I
need to when I need to use therestroom, I need to use the
(51:24):
restroom.
I'm sorry, guys, but that'sjust the way my life is.
Take it or leave it.
You might lose friends, youmight gain friends, but really,
at the end of the day, take abreath, remember you're okay and
never give up on yourself.
Your body and your mind arestronger than you think.
If you think you're broken, youwill be broken.
If you think you're fine, yourbody will heal itself over time.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
Thank you so much, brian, for sharing your story.
I know that was not easy, so wereally, really appreciate it
and I think a lot of people willfeel inspired by your story as
well.
So thank you so much for doingthat.
Thank you, matt, for coming onto co-host with me.
I appreciate that as well.
Thanks to everybody else forlistening and cheers, guys.
Speaker 3 (52:01):
And have it Cheers, cheers to everyone, to you,
brian.
Speaker 4 (52:06):
All right guys, this is Brian.
I hope you enjoyed my story.
If you just gave you hopeyourself, please like, share,
subscribe, review, do everythingyou can and help support them.
Hi, I'm Alicia and I'm Robin and you're listening
to Bowel Moments, the podcastsharing real talk about the
realities of IBD.
Serve on the rocks.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
This week we talked to Brian Scholes.
Brian was diagnosed withulcerative colitis when he was
in the military.
We talked to him about his verywinding and complicated journey
to diagnosis and to treatmentand to the many, many obstacles
he faced.
We talked to him about how he'sutilized the military
healthcare system and what thathas been like, and we talked to
many other things, includingmental health and faith.
Just a warning to folks, though, that we do get descriptive
(00:34):
about mental health and alsoabout surgery and go pretty darn
deep.
So if you're very sensitive,just be careful.
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Hi everyone, Welcome to Bell Moments.
This is Alicia.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Hey, everyone, it's.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Matt here.
How are we doing?
Unfortunately, robin is notable to join us today, and so
we're very excited to welcomeback Matt Kasabian to the show.
So, matt, thank you for comingto the host.
It is very amazing to be here.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
It's been a minute, but I'm so excited to co-host.
It is very amazing to be here.
It's been a minute, but I'm soexcited to co-host and looking
forward to talking to Briantoday with his story as well,
and co-hosting with you, alicia.
So first off, we would like tostart off the show with Brian.
What are you drinking today?
An electrolyte drink water.
Oh, you are being healthy and Ilove it.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Perfect, that's well done.
I actually also have anelectrolyte drink next to me,
because I am in the mountainsand I don't understand why
moisture doesn't exist here.
Matt, what are you drinking?
I?
Speaker 3 (01:34):
unfortunately, am just drinking a giant Stanley of
water today too.
I just got off of work, butthere's a high noon near me.
I'm thinking about getting that, but also the same time, I am
like four Stanleys behind inwater today, so I really need to
catch up and chug this realquick.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Good plan.
Well, cheers guys.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Cheers, cheers.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Okay, Brian.
Next question for you Tell usyour IBD story.
What brings you into ourcommunity?
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Well, let's see.
My name is Brian Schultz and Ihave been an IBD patient since
2010.
So a little bit about mybackstory.
I joined the Army at 17, rightafter 9-11, december 15th of
2001.
Joined the Reserves, went tobasic and AIT, came back,
finished high school and then Iswitched my job from combat
engineer to infantry because Iwanted to go fight in the war
(02:23):
and I went to 10th MountainDivision and then I was in the
initial invasion of Fallujah andthen I was there 03-04.
And then we came back and thenI went to Afghanistan 06-07.
And then I came back and then Iwent to Iraq again 08-09.
I'd say the first time I evernoticed anything going on with
my bowels was inAfghanistanghanistan was the
(02:43):
first time I had had any type ofblood in my soul.
I had no idea, thought it waslike hemorrhoidal, something
like that, and it was a like awham bam.
Thank you, ma'am.
It happened and it disappeared.
No issues after that.
But I did have like what wethought was dysentery.
I thought I got dysentery forlike nine months, like it was
just a long period of justconstant.
(03:05):
Like I had to go.
I had to go.
So we got back from Afghanistan.
I PCS, which is I changed mystation, which was Fort Drum at
the time.
Then I went to Fort Hood.
When I got to Fort Hood I wentover to Iraq for the second time
and I was in Missoula, iraq.
No issues, everything was fine.
We came back in November.
We're into November.
Beginning of December we cameback to the States and then
(03:28):
around January I started to havea little bit of blood.
It was light, it was lightbleeding and things like that
every once in a while.
In February it really becameknown to me that, hey, why am I
bleeding?
And it became concerning.
Didn't think anything of it.
I did ask my medic about it.
I did go to the doctors hey,why am I bleeding?
I said it could be internalhemorrhoids or it could just be
(03:49):
hemorrhoids in general and thatif it keeps going on or if it
gets worse, you know, let themknow.
Well, it didn't for a while andthen it slowly, progressively
got worse.
But me, being an infantryman, Iwas full of pride, spit, fire
and vinegar, thought I couldhandle it, take care of myself,
it was going to pass.
Maybe it's what I was eating.
(04:09):
You know, I was and I wasscared, to be honest.
I mean.
It's scary when you got bloodcoming out your backside and you
don't know why.
So I bled from February of 2009until October of 2010.
So it got to the point where Ihad like golf ball size to
(04:29):
almost baseball size clotscoming out.
I thought I'd need to use arestroom and I was just it was
clots of blood.
It wasn't.
It was pulling up in my, in myanus, and it was waiting to fall
out.
So, technically, I washemorrhaging and I didn't know
it.
I was bleeding to deathinternally, and how I found this
out was about two weeks.
So we have in the military wehad what's called a periodic
(04:51):
health assessment and about twoweeks maybe a month prior to
that, I was sitting on my couch.
We had just woken up.
It was like eight o'clock inthe morning.
I wound up passing out untilfour or five o'clock that
afternoon.
It was like, wow, that's weirdpassing out until four or five
o'clock that afternoon.
She was like, wow, that's weird, it's already four.
Why did I pass out?
I just felt lethargic.
Everything was weird.
Anyways, I ate, something wentto bed.
(05:11):
I felt fine, so I had.
It was what I know now to be aflare up.
I was bleeding a little bit atwork.
I thought I could get it offthe toilet enough when I flushed
or whatever, so nobody wouldsee it.
And, mind you, after I hadstarted bleeding, in February I
went to warrior leaders course,which is the non-commissioned
officer development course inthe army, and I finished, I
(05:34):
believe, 12th or 15th in myclass.
So I was up there in theranking of the class.
But I did PT tests.
I was in the field.
We did road marches, land nav,we did all sorts of stuff while
this was going on and I toughedit out.
I was in the field.
We did road marches, land nav,we did all sorts of stuff while
this was going on and I toughedit out because I was scared,
didn't know how to deal with it,didn't know what it was.
And then, after I graduatedthat school, the army said hey,
(05:54):
we want you to go be a recruiter, which brings me to the time
period we're at.
So I went to recruiter school.
Well, I finished recruiterschool and I came back.
I was recruiting in Georgetown,texas.
So this brings us to where we'reat now, when I was talking
about passing out.
And the weird thing is is Irode a motorcycle for seven and
a half years.
It was my only motortransportation.
It was a little ninja.
(06:14):
It makes it kind of scary,right.
So I'm bleeding.
I passed out, had no idea whatwas going on.
Well, I get, I get to work,start bleeding at work every
once in a while.
And then my little tiny femalecenter commander the first
female I'd ever had in charge methe entire time I was in the
army and she's hard.
She comes out of the bathroomone day and I'm sitting at my
(06:36):
desk and she goes.
Look, it's not that time of themonth for me.
I don't know who's bleeding inthis office, but somebody needs
to come clean.
And I was like damn it.
And I went back and I talked toher and I was like, sorry, I
think it's me and she goes.
She looked at me dumbfounded.
I was like, yeah, this has beenhappening.
She's like when's your nextperiodic health assessment?
I was like on the 12th Ibelieve it was the 12th or the
(06:56):
10th of October and she goes Iwant you to bring it up at your
PHA.
So I had taken pictures of someof the clotting and when I'd go
to wipe and I'd have a bloodclot on the paper or on the
toilet paper and how look likesomebody poured.
Somebody poured red wine intothe toilet.
It was that dark so I tookpictures of that, took pictures
(07:17):
of the clots in the toilet, tookpictures of the clots on the
toilet paper.
And I go to my periodic healthassessment.
Well, I go through everythingand, mind you, I've been driving
, walking, recruiting, I've beendoing my military thing, not
knowing what's going on with me.
I've been playing with my son,I've been riding motorcycles in
my motorcycle club, all thisstuff.
I've been living my life,normal, not knowing that I'm
(07:39):
dying.
So I get to the periodic healthassessment and I show the nurse
practitioner and she looked atme scared.
I had the scared look on herface.
This is old lady.
And she puts her hand righthere and she pulls down my
eyelid and it's white like bonewhite, okay, and she goes
sweetheart, I need you to laydown.
And I was like what do you mean?
She goes?
You are, there's no blood inyour face.
(08:00):
She's like I don't understandit.
But there's no blood in yourface.
I need you to lay down and Ineed you to just stay there.
You're going to go to the ER.
So she called the ambulance.
I had no blood platelets in myface, how it was moving, how I
was functioning, how my brainwas working, I don't know.
So she lays me down, I go tothe ER and then, mentally I
(08:20):
guess, I get to the safe placeand everything starts happening
the pain, the cramps, and youknow, I think about this now.
Before that I had had topplingcramping in my stomach.
It would be so severe sometimeswhere I would have to bend at
the waist and I couldn't breathe, and it was just like it would
be, like I got hit in the gutwith like a baseball bat and it
(08:43):
would happen random and I'd haveto catch my breath and I'd have
to be like I'm all right.
So I had had the crampingbefore.
I knew what the gut pain was,but I didn't know what it was,
what was causing it.
So I go to Darnell, which isthe hospital at Fort Hood, and
they didn't even want to admitme, like it was that bad.
They're like, oh, this guy'sfull of shit, all this other
(09:06):
stuff.
They didn't want to admit me.
My blood count was so low and Iwas in so much pain.
They literally strapped me to astanding gurney and pumped me
full of Dilaudid and then theystarted an infusion because it
took three full units of bloodin seven days to get my blood
platelets to finally stabilize.
They were that low I wasliterally on the verge of dying
due to blood loss internal bloodloss.
(09:27):
So they don't want to admit me.
Their gastroenterologist is outon leave.
They don't have a backup.
There's nobody that can see me.
They don't want to handle it atDarnell up in Fort Hood, so
they send me to Fort Sam,houston.
So I get ambulanced.
The three-hour ride to Fort Samfrom Fort Hood, texas, and I
meet this Indian dude thecoolest can be and his name is
(09:50):
Dr Anish Patel.
Well, dr Patel takes me on andwe get the test going.
The go lightly going.
If you know what go lightly is,it is horrible.
And they gave it to me while Iwas getting an infusion.
So what does that mean?
You can't move.
So you want to talk about ashitty situation?
It was a shitty situation.
(10:11):
They gave me a little bedsidetoilet and when it came out, it
came out, it was like waterbeing dumped out of a bucket
loader into a bowl and ithitting the center of the bowl
and wrapping up the walls of thebowl and wrapping up the walls,
the bowl, and coming up andcascading out.
So that gives you an idea ofhow my experience with ibd
(10:33):
started.
That next morning I get mycolossus, my colonoscopy, and
without hesitation he was likeyou have inflammatory bowels.
I was like what's that goes,you have ulcerative colitis.
I was like what's that?
And he's like, well, it's staysin your small.
They did a biopsy, is what theydid.
And then they came back andfound that I had ulcerative
colitis and so he goes, well,it's this, and ulcers form in
(10:58):
your large intestine and itcauses you to bleed.
You get fissures that form inyour intestine and you bleed out
.
I was like, well, how did I getit?
He said it was pretty much anenzyme in your body that lays
dormant, kind of like HIV orAIDS, and it takes a bacteria,
stressful event or, you know,you eat a foreign food.
A whole bunch of differentstuff could have caused it.
Well, at this time the armydidn't know what was going on
(11:21):
because, naturally, out ofnowhere, hundreds of soldiers
were coming down withinflammatory bowel disease,
hundreds.
And it all started after Iraqstarted over again Later on,
when I, after I had beendiagnosed, dr Patel had got it
under control with medicationtherapy.
So we got it under control.
I was doing the suppositories,I was doing the enemas, I was
(11:44):
doing everything to quill it.
We hadn't gone to infusiontreatment because at the time it
didn't exist.
So I got ulcerative colitiswhen it was still young and they
were still figuring it out.
The reason why we have thetreatments for it today that we
have is because of the influx ofpatients with it that came back
from overseas.
It was like, okay, we need tofix this, let's find a way to
(12:05):
treat this and help these peoplenot have the surgery that I'm
gonna get into that I had.
So I had it under control.
Everything was great.
I was able to lose weight, likeeverything was going, and then
I come down on recruiting ordersand I get my orders and I
managed to get everything goingthe way it should be going.
First I was supposed to PCS toWisconsin and magically I didn't
(12:27):
wind up going to Wisconsin.
I wound up going to Nevada andthat's where I met my wife.
I get married and six monthsinto our marriage I have a flare
up.
This time it's bad and themedication stopped working.
Nothing was working.
To quill it, they put me onprednisone, a steroid that at
180 milligrams a day for a totalof a year and a half, and I
(12:49):
went from 200 pounds, 200 to 235pounds with a 32 inch waist you
know, prime of my life six pack, looking studly, you know.
And a year and a half later I'm298 pounds from inflammation
and from the steroid, the weightgain and everything.
And you look like I look like Icould be popped with a needle
(13:11):
and fly through the air.
We tried hormone therapy withlike supplements of like
different minerals and stuffthat my body might have been
lacking.
I went to a chiropractic likewhich doctor I guess you want to
call it?
The ones that do like theelectrode testing and they tell
you what your body is lacking in.
So I tried that, tried to comeoff of the prednisone.
(13:31):
We tried infusion therapy but myinflammation was so far gone I
didn't take to the infusion, itjust made me sick and it was
like having chemotherapy.
So the infusion treatmentwasn't taking, it wasn't working
and the problem was the team inNevada didn't know how to treat
it.
They didn't have a specialist.
They had a gastroenterologistbut they didn't have a
(13:53):
specialist and Dr Patel beingthe specialist that he is,
that's why he was able to treatit, so my flare up couldn't have
happened at the worst time.
They treated incorrectly.
They keep me on steroids.
I become steroid dependent,meaning it will no longer stop
bleeding without the steroids.
(14:16):
So my option now is cut my largeintestine out and either do a J
pouch, which is pretty much aninternal bag with your small
intestine, or get a permanentbag on the outside.
I'm young, I'm in my 20s, 30sand I'm sitting here.
I'm like I have a bag thatfills up with stool all day long
sitting on the front of mystomach, or I have an internal
bag that I'm supposed to havemuscular restraint with.
(14:37):
I'm supposed to be able to.
Oh, I'm having a movement.
I need to use the restroom.
Yeah, that's a crock of shit.
It doesn't happen like that.
If you got to go, you got to goand you don't really have time
to delay.
So, anyways, I came to thedecision to cut my large
intestine out when I went toanother periodic health
assessment and I was gettingevaluated because I was either
(14:58):
going to get med boarded or Iwas going to get chaptered out
of the army for weight gainbecause I got to 298 pounds and
they didn't want to do theirresearch.
They didn't want to understand,they didn't want to believe
that prednisone, a medication,could make me gain that much
weight and all this other stuff.
So a major in the marine corps,actually, something I never
thought I'd ever have happen,because they're marines I'm not
(15:20):
talking bad about marines, butthey've got a way of thinking
like drink some water, take aknee, get over it and drive on
Right, and so does the infantry,hence why I'm in this situation
.
And it got as bad as it did.
So he goes listen to me, theonly person that is going to
take care of you is you.
He goes this is severe.
You could be on the toilet oneday and you could be thinking
(15:42):
you're using the restroom.
You could hemorrhage and bleedout and die on that toilet.
I was like, okay, he goes.
Go to your gastroenterologistand tell them you want a full
colectomy surgery and cut it outand either do a J pouch or do a
bag, but you need to get rid ofit.
It's the only thing that'sgoing to cure you.
So I opted for the J pouch and Iwent and saw the
(16:02):
gastrointestinal surgeon.
It took him 10 seconds.
He bent me over his table,stuck the little scope in my
butt.
He looked at it and said, okay,you qualify.
You have the worst lookingcolon I've ever seen.
I was like, really he goes.
Your colon is so inflamed Idon't think there's a single
spot on it that does not have anulcer.
(16:23):
I was like, okay, he goes.
Can you be in surgery in twoweeks, cause that's when we're
doing it.
I'm like, okay.
So two weeks later I have afull colectomy.
It was around April 2015.
I had my surgery.
I went in.
I was completely overweightbecause of the prednisone and I
had they.
They did invasive.
They cut me open, filleted meopen with on the operating table
(16:46):
, so all my guts were exposed.
They stuck their hands downinto my pelvis and he said he
wanted to do it evasivelybecause he wanted to make sure
he got all the infected tissue.
He didn't.
So they made the J pouch and Ihad to heal.
I wasn't having movements but Iwould get drainage because I
had an ileostomy bag while my Jpouch was healing.
(17:06):
So they go to pop the staplesafter 15 days and my wound
explodes and pus pours down mysides, pours down my belly
because I had an infection in myabdomen after they stapled me
shut because they didn't cleanit properly and they did not
treat the infection when itfirst started.
(17:27):
So the infection had burrowedits way to my abdominal wall and
started eating the fascia awayon my abdominal wall.
And if anybody doesn't knowwhat that is, if you take your
hands and you put your fingerstogether, like all the way to
where your knuckles are touching, and it looks woven together,
that's what your abdominal walland your fascia is supposed to
look like under your skin.
(17:48):
But if you take those andseparate those where your
fingertips are touching slightly, you know, like interlaced,
that's what my abdominal walllooks like.
Back to the surgery, I didn'tknow my fascia had been eaten
through by the infection.
So they put me in a wound vacto clean out the infected tissue
and get my abdomen to heal.
My abdomen healed after aboutfour months and that was some of
(18:09):
the most pain I've ever felt inmy life was getting a wound vac
changed.
They had to fill it with twovials of lidocaine before they
could remove it.
It was just excruciating.
So did that for four monthsEvery other day, driving from
Susanville, california, to Reno,nevada, and back and forth
every other day.
After the surgery I was laid upfor six months, lost a bunch of
weight because I wasn't eatingand I was on pain pills.
(18:32):
So for six months I was hoppedup on hydrocodone or Oxycontin
or whatever they put me on forthe pain and my pain had
subsided and I didn't know itbecause I was staying high,
pretty much off the opiatessubsided, and I didn't know it
because I was staying high,pretty much off the opiates.
So that was another thing thatI overcame in this whole process
was not realizing I had becomeaddicted to opiates.
When I realized I had becomeaddicted to the pain pills, I
(18:55):
flushed them down the toilet andI got rid of them and I said
I'm going to deal with this pain, no matter how bad it is, and
I'm going to kick this.
I had the sweats, scratches andtwitches and I locked myself in
my room and I just dealt withthem and now that I've been in
corrections and in law I couldhave killed myself, not knowing
it, just flushing them down.
I didn't detox.
My detox was quick, fast, hurryand a slap in the face and I
(19:19):
had no idea.
So I overcame that.
I no longer use any type ofopiate pain medication, even
when I'm in the hospital foranything, unless it's in a
controlled environment.
Anyways, back to what we weretalking about.
So I have my surgery, have theinfection wound, vac and I have
a J pouch now Thinkingeverything was going to be great
hunky dory, and I'm stillhaving issues.
(19:41):
I'm not bleeding, but I'm goingall the time.
I have no control.
I'm not bleeding, but I'm goingall the time.
I have no control.
If I got to go, I got to go.
I'm scared to go swimming, I'mscared to do anything like that,
any type of strain.
I'm scared to do anythingstrenuous because I'm worried
I'm going to leak out on mybackside because the muscle
control is just not there.
I go to a follow-up.
The doctor's like oh, it's justyour body getting used to the
(20:11):
surgery, it's just your bodyadjusting and blah, blah, blah.
They didn't do a colonoscopy,they didn't do an endoscopy,
they didn't do anything to checkit.
So for three and a half yearsI'm living like this, spending
80 to 90% of my day on thetoilet, no matter what I ate.
I had no quality of life.
We went to Florida to visit herdad at her dad's new house
because he lives in Nevada andin Florida he's a big name real
estate guy.
So he's got two locations wherehe lives different times of the
(20:33):
year.
And we go to Nevada or we go toFlorida.
And when I say it was a problem, my 80 to 90% of my day in the
bathroom was they told me not topush to let it fall out because
of the bag, the internal bagpouch, the J pouch.
I would be in that bathroom andnot even realize it for 30
(20:54):
minutes to an hour every time.
My wife said sometimes youwouldn't even realize it, brian,
but you'd be in there for twoand a half hours.
We could watch a whole movie Ifwe were going to go somewhere
and he said give me a second, Ineed to use the restroom.
They would turn a movie on inthe living room and wait for me.
So I had no quality of life andit was bothersome for my family
and others and people becauseit was hard for me to do
(21:16):
anything.
If I had a project I was doing,it'd take me freaking a month
to complete that project becauseof how often I'd have to use
the restroom.
So in 2019, after all this, wehad moved from Nevada back to
Texas.
I had medically retired out ofthe army.
In 2019, we moved back to Texasand it's just getting worse and
worse and worse.
And now I'm getting every nervein my body firing at the same
(21:41):
time when I'm using the restroom.
No clue why.
None of my blood work was evershowing.
High white blood cell countsdidn't show I had infection,
nothing like that.
So I reach out to thegastroenterology team and I and
I ask is Dr Patel still workingthere?
Yes, he is.
So Dr Patel in 2019, comes tomy rescue.
(22:02):
He's like where you been?
I was like I this.
I was like where have you been?
And he's like I was here.
You know, becoming the headcertified person in the in the
military and I was like, well, Iwas getting screwed over in
Nevada and they didn't know howto treat me thing.
And here I am.
This is what's happened.
This is where I'm at help me,and he did the scopes and he did
(22:25):
the tests he needed to do and Ihave pouchitis because the
doctor left infected tissue onmy anus, my sphincter muscle,
and the moment my smallintestine tissue touched my
sphincter muscle on the internalmoment my small intestine
tissue touched my sphinctermuscle on the internal side, it
became infected with ulcerativecolitis.
So again, I'm suffering fromIBD and I didn't even know it
and there's really not a wholelot we could do about it.
(22:47):
So I toughed it out for alittle bit and then something
told me cut your intestine, justcut it out, be done with it.
You're never going to heal fromthis one.
So it leads me to where I'm attoday.
I have a permanent ileostomybag on the left side, where a
colostomy bag should be.
I have my ileostomy bag becauseI had a previous ileostomy bag
(23:08):
on my right and the doctordidn't want to put it over
existing scar tissue, which isunderstandable.
Right, which leads me to this.
Ivd surgeries can lead to othercomplications.
So on top of getting theinfection, on top of everything
else, the doctor left infectedtissue and he left scar tissue
and he left a jumbled mess in mypelvis from where he had gone
(23:32):
in there with his hands andphysically pulled my large
intestine away and cut it frommy sphincter and connected my
small intestine and created theJ pouch.
Everything was technicallyfused together.
The doctor didn't know where tocut.
So when the doctor made hisincision not backing out and
saying we need to reevaluatethis and go back in he made a
(23:53):
cut and he cut through myurinals and if you don't know
what your urinal is, it's theinternal vascular tube for your
penis.
He cut through my urinals,cutting the membrane that
controls functionality.
So that was a big shot to mylife.
So from 2019 until now, it'sjust now starting to come back
(24:15):
to life and a way to where I canuse it.
So IBD did not only affect mebowel-wise, it affected me
relationship, emotionally,physically.
Everything you could think oflike it sent me into this
whirlwind of depression.
I felt less of a man, all thisother stuff.
But the good thing was, eventhough he screwed me over and
(24:37):
that was the one thing I askedhim not to do because I knew the
complications and his first cutscrewed me.
I don't know if he was ashamedor embarrassed, but he left my
wife waiting in the waiting roomof the general surgery clinic
at BAMC I'm not going to giveany names because he's no longer
practicing but he left my wifethere with nobody.
Nobody came and updated her onthe surgeries.
(24:59):
Nobody did anything like that.
She was there from seven in themorning and this 12 hours till
seven at night and they hadturned the lights off to the
waiting room on her and she wassitting there.
Nobody had come back to her.
She thought I was dead.
So he left me under the knifefor 12 and a half hours.
He over anesthetized me and Iwoke up with a suprapubic
catheter, a penile catheter, anileostomy bag and he had cut my
(25:23):
anus out because we wentpermanent and he sewed me shut
and a hole in my butt as big asthis mason jar.
So I spent three months in thehospital.
They left the catheter in forsix weeks, didn't change it,
didn't check on it.
Urology forgot about me and Ibrought it up all the time.
Nothing happened.
Well, they go to pull it out.
(25:43):
And when they pull it out,instead of tubularly shrinking
down to size, it flattens like apancake and make sharp sides on
the catheter.
So when the doctor and she tomy luck she was a female she
rips it out, she knew it wasgoing to be bad.
She didn't say anything, but Icould see her face before she
pulled and she knew that thetube had collapsed.
(26:05):
So when she pulled out thecatheter it cut down the sides
of my urethra and I thought Ihad felt pain with the, with the
wound back, at wound back, andgot shit on that.
Let me tell you.
She said that I went pale whitelike a ghost.
There was no telltale sign.
My eyes started flooding, mylips started quivering and I
(26:26):
looked like a baby that had justgotten spanked for the first
time.
And I, she said I, looked moreinnocent than a newborn baby.
And the tears and in the painthat went through my body, she
legitimately, instantly, becauseshe was a mom, she instantly
grabbed me, pulled me to herbosom and started slowly rocking
(26:47):
and petting my head and sayingit's OK, we're done, I am so
sorry.
And then she went on to explainto me what happened.
So IBD has led me to all ofthis.
I have a permanent bag now.
I spent three months in thehospital healing.
I went through hyperbaricchamber treatment trying to get
the skin and everything to healon my backside because it just
got to a point where itplateaued and I was walking.
(27:09):
I was doing everything and Idon't know what was going on.
But three months go by and Ifinally said no, it's small
enough to where I'm not going toget infected.
If I go home and I can make itback to get it repacked, they
would dry pack it, bandage it,send me on my way, dry pack it,
bandage it.
So three months later I go home, dry pack it.
Every other day I'm going toSan Antonio to get it repacked
(27:30):
and checked on.
And it was healed within twoweeks.
It was done, no issues.
So during the time of me havingIBD I was still working out or
trying to.
I was in the army.
When I got out I became a carsalesman.
I was a manager at the AcademySporting Goods store, all this
stuff, but I started to havemore issues.
So this was the hardest partwas working while I was spending
(27:53):
80 to 90% of my day in thebathroom.
They couldn't fire me because Iwas 100 percent disabled, that
they couldn't fire me for mymedical issue.
But they ostracized me and theypushed me out without making it
obvious.
Does that make sense?
So I get pushed out of everyjob that I'm at.
They can't legally fire me, sothey don't fire me.
(28:15):
They would just make it hell towhere I quit and I would move
on to something else.
And that went on for at leastsix jobs, seven jobs.
It got to the point where Ifinally said forget it, let's
get a lawyer, let's get SocialSecurity going.
I'm obviously going to beretired for the rest of my life.
I gave up.
I got that depressed because Icouldn't hold a job.
(28:35):
I couldn't keep it.
Ibd had taken my life away fromme.
I couldn't be a cop anymore.
I had tried out for the statetroopers.
They failed me at the polygraphbecause they said it was
inconclusive and that theycouldn't read my polygraph test.
So they had to deem itdeceptive and they said come
back in a year.
Come to find out later from theinvestigator that they failed
(28:57):
me for the ulcerative colitisbecause they didn't want me to
be in pursuit of somebody andhave either a flare up or need
to use the restroom and then Ieither have an accident all over
myself, have an accident on thesuspect.
You know what I mean.
So, just, they didn't wantsomething bad to happen, which
is understandable, but that wasmy plan B.
I got medically retired.
My next step in life was I wasgoing to become a state trooper,
(29:19):
I was going to become anofficer of some kind, I wanted
to be in law enforcement.
Well, that's when thedepression spiraled and
everything else happened.
So, after the depressionstarted and anxiety came because
I quit dipping, I quit smoking,I quit everything, I quit
drinking and I really quitdrinking when I found out that
the steroids had made mediabetic and I didn't know I was
(29:40):
having hot flashes.
I was passing out at work, Iwas.
I felt I was having anxietyattacks because of the hot
flashes and everything and Iwould run outside because I was
working at CBE as a fraudprevention specialist and it had
an outside patio area and itwas during the winter, when I
was six months of.
It was during the winter and Iwent out there in New Braunfels
(30:02):
and we had snow that year and Iwould literally lay on the bench
and let the rain, the cold air,the snow, whatever it was, fall
on me to cool me off.
Because I was eating gummybears.
I was drinking Monster.
I was vaping because I missedthe habit, but it was.
There was no nicotine, it wasjust the flavor, which I'm glad.
I quit everything, I don't evendo that anymore.
(30:24):
So the day I found out I wasdiabetic, I finally went to my
doctor's like, hey, this ishappening.
She's like, all right, well,let's do some blood work.
I do some blood work the day Ihave a follow up on that blood
work.
I had a bowl of cereal andwater.
That's all I'd had that entireday.
She did a pinprick finger prick, checked my blue-close levels.
I was at 500, 496.
(30:44):
And before she did that she hadsaid well, we found out you're
diabetic, your A1C is a 9.5.
And I was like what 9.5?
There's no way.
My A1C was like five, six weeksago and she's like, no, you
have a 9.5.
And she goes I'm sending you tothe medication therapist doctor
(31:06):
that's going to help prescribe,you know, your insulin and
whatever else.
So they put me on Bidurion andinsulin when I had my surgery.
In that three months in thehospital I spent it reset my
system and I haven't been on anyinsulin or anything since 2019.
And I've been able to controlit and maintain it with my diet
and I'm actually diabetes free.
I was at a 5.5.
(31:26):
So if I lost that 0.5, I'm nolonger pre-diabetic.
I always have it because I hadit, but it's dormant.
Unless I let my diet lax and Istart eating drinking soda,
eating all the bad candies andstuff again, then it'll come
back.
But as of right now, I'm nolonger pre-diabetic.
So I beat that.
(31:46):
But the IBD gave that to mebecause of the steroids I had to
take to control the IBD, whichleads me to the last medical
issue I had with it, I knowright, and there's more, which
leads me to the last medicalissue I had with it, I know
right, and there's more.
I came down with heart failurebecause the steroids gave me
diabetes, which affects yourheart and everything else.
My blood pressure meds were nolonger working the way I thought
(32:06):
they were and I had a quack fora doctor that said oh, 146 over
96 is normal.
You're a big dude.
You walked up the stairs fromoutside.
96 is normal, you're a big dude.
You walked up the stairs fromoutside like this is normal
blood pressure, you're fine.
Yeah right, it overworked myheart for so long.
So in 2019, I tried to do thelaw enforcement thing again.
I finally got my.
(32:27):
I took my depression, I grabbedit.
I grabbed it.
I said I'm going to make achange, I'm going to do
something with my life and I'mgoing to make this change happen
.
I want to be a cop, so Iapplied for the police academy.
I passed the exam.
I couldn't pass the bloodpressure.
And then I'm doing my dishesand I have a pseudo heart attack
but they called it a pseudoheart attack because it wasn't a
(32:48):
heart attack, but it was aheart attack type thing.
And anyways, five days in thehospital, tests and they say
well, it's your hypertension.
So I get on medication, therapy, 100% recovery.
So I go from 285 pounds.
When I start my recoveryjourney from the blood pressure,
I go from 285 pounds down to235 pounds in about eight months
(33:10):
.
So 2019, 2020 ish till about2021.
I didn't do shit.
So from 2019, 2020-ish tillabout 2021, I didn't do shit.
I sat on the chair and Iactually did worse for my heart
than if I had gotten up andtried to do something about it,
because I got scared.
My anxiety kicked in.
I didn't want to die, I didn'twant to overexert myself, didn't
want to have a heart attack.
I was like, oh my God, my lifehas stopped now.
(33:33):
So that was that depression,all caused by the steroids which
I had to take because of theIBD.
So recover from that.
And I was a school teacher.
While I was in that I startedout with subbing.
Then I did long term sub andthen I got my teaching
certificate.
But I had issues while I wasdoing that.
I'd have to get support for myclass so I could go use the
(33:54):
restroom whatever, empty my bag,because I had a permanent bag
at the time.
It just made it awkward.
And I had worked for a steelmill before I found out I was
diabetic.
So I was in the extreme heat,not realizing that it was
diabetes that was making me feelthat way, which is oh.
And working in the steel plantis how I found out I had no
abdominal wall.
From the infection, I got ahernia in the like right under
(34:16):
my ribs on the right side.
I got a hernia in the center ofmy abdomen and when I went to
go get it fixed, they couldn'tfix anything because there was
nothing to repair.
So what they did is they took25 inches of bio mesh and they
strategically placed it on mywhat was left of my abdominal
wall to reinforce it.
So I have a mesh abdominal wallnow.
(34:37):
Hopefully my muscles are growinginto that mesh and rebuilding
itself, which was the plan.
All caused from the IBD.
But long story short, after Igot done with teaching I went
and worked in the jail.
I went from 285 pounds down to235, got my life back, went to
go work for the jail.
When I realized the jail wasn'tgoing to sponsor us for the
sheriff's department, I appliedfor the police academy again.
(34:58):
I got in.
Six months later I am now aSaghin police officer.
That is my whole IBD journey.
Speaker 3 (35:04):
First off, thank you for your service and thank you
for your story.
Cheers to you to getting towhere you are today.
That is wow.
There are times when I reallyjust don't know what to say.
And to say the first thing isis that you're a trail warrior
for going through all of thatand it's incredible.
One of my biggest things I lookat is like for us people going
(35:27):
through IBD is you know, theindomitable spirit is so strong
and it's so strong in you to gothrough every single thing you
went through and facing deathmultiple times and all adversity
, and now here you are and nowyour life is going in the
direction that deserves to gointo.
So I'm really happy that nowit's going the way that it
deserves.
(35:47):
From that you deserve to gothrough.
I appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Yeah, that was quite the ride.
That is like everything thatpossibly could have gone wrong
went wrong, and I'm stillboggled a bit by the fact that,
like, somehow you're like theunlucky one that's just like no,
not that it's like somehowyou're the unlucky one that,
like everything seemed to go.
It's not like it's one thinggoes wrong, it's like shit.
If it's going to happen, it'sgoing to happen to you.
Speaker 4 (36:11):
Yeah, the worst thing that happened that I forgot to
mention during my big surgery,when they cut my anus out and
they gave me a permanent bag.
So the doctor had kept me underthe knife for 12 and a half
hours and gave me too muchanesthesia.
So, not being my first surgery,my body was no longer as strong
as it used to be because I hadother abdominal surgeries.
So I don't know if it was theanesthesia, but something
(36:34):
disassociated my, myneurological connection between
my lungs, but I wasn't able tostart breathing on my own the
way I should have been.
I was struggling with it, sothey intubated me and they
strapped me to a gurney withrestraints and I woke up in ICU
and that was probably thescariest thing.
And then the ICU nurse is likeyeah, dude, you almost died.
(36:55):
You weren't breathing on yourown.
They had to intubate you andsend you to ICU and hear you
wait until you wake up.
Speaker 3 (37:01):
Yeah, Whoa oh my.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
God that is.
God Well, and you know theytalk about.
There's very much traumaassociated with when they have
to intubate people, because ofhow traumatizing it is, because
of having to be strapped downand having something breathe for
you.
That that is not.
Your brain doesn't like it,your body doesn't like it.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
And something you're just not expecting to that just
makes it all worse, like you're.
Just you're thinking that it'llbe not as bad, but then, like
everything, just kind of hittingit at once.
It's just the confusion youhave, and it must have been so
scary.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
Yeah, because you go to sleep and everything's fine,
you know, aside from you gettinga big ass surgery.
And then you wake up and you'relike what is in my mouth,
what's down my throat, what isgoing on here?
And like you're scared becauseyou're just looking at a clock
and a bunch of sound.
You know sounds are going offinside the ICU and you can't
move.
You're like why can't I move?
And you're like cause you gotsomething stuck in your mouth
(37:55):
and you can't so yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:01):
There's one thing I wanted to ask you.
Cause this was?
You know?
You've mentioned this in thedocument you sent beforehand
before you came on.
The podcast talked about God,and I see you wear a cross too,
and I wear one too, and one ofthe things that helped me, I
have a strong faith in God, andis that something that helps you
throughout all these years ofgoing through IBD and your
journey?
Speaker 4 (38:21):
So I grew up in the Southern Baptist Church and I
have been up and down with myfaith.
I have lost my faith and foundmy faith and lost my faith and
found my faith.
So I found it again through mydaughter, who we had never
talked about God Because at thetime I was I was struggling with
it, I was following Norsepaganism.
And then, out of nowhere, mygrandmother had given me a
(38:43):
little figurine of Jesus Christand it was by itself sitting up
on a shelf and we had nevertalked about God or Jesus or
anything to her Nobody.
And she goes.
She asked Mommy, daddy, is thatJesus?
And I was like what, where didyou hear that name?
And then, magically, prince ofEgypt.
The cartoon was on TV and itwas my daughter's favorite show.
(39:07):
All she wanted to watch wasPrince of Egypt.
So we found our faith again.
My wife got baptized when wemoved to Texas.
Everything was good.
And then we moved out here towhere I live now in Seguin,
bought a house and then all thateverything came crashing down
again.
We couldn't find a churchbecause I'm not into the whole
speaking in tongues.
So I lost my faith again and Iwent back to Norse paganism, on
(39:28):
into the whole speaking intongues.
So I lost my faith again and Iwent back to Norse paganism.
And I really lost my faithafter I almost died on the
operating table after my bigsurgery and my wife went through
a really bad depression andstint when I had this last
surgery because I was in thehospital for so long so she kind
of didn't come see me all thetime.
So I got lost again, lost myfaith and for years, for four or
(39:52):
five years, I denounced it andthen I went to the police
academy and I found my faithagain in the police academy
because for three months priorto that I had started getting
religious stuff on my Facebookfeed and my social media and I'm
like, what the hell is this?
You know I don't look upreligious stuff.
Why am I getting the gospel?
Because I had broken down, Iwas scared of failure and it
seemed like everything good thatstarted in my life would be
(40:12):
ripped away for some reason.
Ever since I started denouncingmy faith and said I was, ever
since I got mad at God Right.
So I'm in the police academy andI had already broken down to my
wife on the way home one daybecause the PT was so hard with
my bag and heart failure,recovery and everything I had so
much against me that theylooked at me as weak.
(40:32):
So I had to prove myself.
On top of being trying to keepup with 20 year old kids you
know they eat.
I'm 40 years old, I'm not 20years old anymore Like it's hard
to keep up.
So and then, randomly, two guysin the academy talked to just
randomly started talking to meabout God one day.
They just asked me, they justtalked to me about it.
(40:53):
I was like, yeah, I grew up inthe, so this is me now.
And they're like well, blah,blah, blah.
And I went home and we all 12 ofus came down with COVID, so
they canceled class for a week.
Well, I came, I came home and Iwas like babe, you know trying
to say something.
She stopped me and she goeslook, I will go to church with
you.
She goes obviously, this iswhat you need.
You need me to go with you.
You're never going to go.
(41:13):
You know what you want youranswer.
I found my faith through theacademy because I knew I could
not do it on my own and I wastired of having the things that
happened in my life be rippedaway.
Ibd and all of my medicaltraumas caused by the IBD and
then me trying to move forwardin my life all combined is what
brought me back to God, and I'venever had a stronger faith
(41:51):
because I know he wouldn't haveput me strength to keep pushing
and not make that quick fix to along-term problem, you know, or
a long-term solution to ashort-term problem and things
like that.
So I honestly believeeverything happens for a reason
and yeah, so yes, to answer yourquestion God is.
He is my rock.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
I believe in that too , where everything happens for a
reason, but it's also.
I know a lot of people that gothrough those ups and downs and
believing in faith, because somepeople do, some people don't.
And I grew up ChristianArmenian Orthodox and when I was
in the hospital for weeks at atime, my mom, you know, she
would bring holy water andbefore surgery she would like
(42:27):
put it on my forehead, and attimes I don't remember because I
was so out of it.
I think I pushed her hand awayat one point because I was like
why?
And people question that butthere are times when it comes
back to you, like it did withthe police academy and these
other cadets coming to you too.
And the fact that your wifesupports you too with that, I
think, is so vital as well.
(42:48):
Saying like I'll go with youand to have a partner like that
is as a great support system.
You know, not everyone does,but that's something that helps
you get through it too as well.
It's these like pillars, likethese pillars that help you get
through the darkness.
Speaker 4 (43:03):
And you know how.
I knew God was watching me inthe hospital was there was a
nurse and I can't remember hername.
Knew God was watching me in thehospital was there was a nurse
and I can't remember her name.
She was an air force nurse andshe would pray for me every day.
I could hear her prayingoutside of my room and she gave
me a card.
She said hey, I know God hasput you here for something
greater than what you thinkyou're dealing with now.
It's just he and she was likethis is going to make you
(43:25):
stronger.
So yeah, faith is a big part ofdealing with IBD.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
You're no longer in the military, but you were 100%
service-connected disability, soyou're still able to get your
care through the medical system.
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (43:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
How does that work?
How are you still able to seeDr Patel when, again, he is
based on a military center?
No-transcript.
Speaker 4 (44:19):
VA.
If you can pay your copay, I'dsuggest going to a civilian
doctor, and if you do, becausethe VA is not a guaranteed
specific doctor.
Every time their doctors change, so you're not going to see the
same doctor twice and when itcomes to IBD, a relationship
with your doctor is key.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
A hundred percent, yeah, yeah, no.
And I think I mean there aresome folks that you know are
this is going to sound weird butluckier than you, and that they
get a milder disease course,and so it is more manageable for
them to go to a surgeon, go toa doctor that's less experienced
.
But there are definitely peoplethat you know that's not the
dice they roll, and you know,and so they do need somebody
(44:55):
that's a lot more specialized.
You know, I do know some peoplethat they're like you know, you
see they've, you know they goon some azathioprine and it kind
of clears it up a little bitand they're kind of able to go
about their lives.
But that's the folks that wetypically talk to, are the more
like you who have a much morecomplicated disease course and
really need to see somebody whois specialized.
And sometimes what we tell thepeople too is, like you know, go
(45:17):
to some of these folks, get asecond opinion.
They can oftentimes work with acommunity GI, somebody who's
not as specialized in IBD, tohelp manage your case too, if
you're not complicated.
But but boy, brian, that's notyou, that's definitely not you.
So I'm glad you have, I haveaccess to the right person as
(45:37):
somebody who comes from themilitary system very mild, male
dominated, suck it up, take aknee kind of side of things and
you struggled with some reallyyou know significant mental
health struggles here.
What did you do to sort of takethat on?
Speaker 4 (45:47):
You know that's a hard one, and if I choke up
don't you dare judge me.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
I don't know, I cry on the show all the time.
Speaker 4 (45:55):
So, man, I still deal with it.
To be honest with you, I dealwith it every day, between all
of my medical traumas and myheart, everything accumulated
into one whole and cutting allthe vices out of my life.
When I was studying Norsepaganism, it was, it was my
faith in in the old gods and theold ways, because I believe in
(46:18):
crystals.
Crystals do hold energies andhold powers, healing powers.
Amethysts and obsidian, onyx,you know, amethyst centers you
and creates balance.
Onyx and obsidian help ward offnegativity and bad thoughts.
Selenite's a cleanser and thenrose quartz brings love and
faith into your body.
And then so I.
(46:39):
I have pocket stones that Ikeep.
I have an obsidian stone.
That's a thumb rub stone.
It's, it's a rubbing that Ikeep and I keep them in my
pocket every day.
I got a selenite, a rose quartz, an amethyst and an obsidian
stone that I keep in my pocketas close as possible to my skin.
I use that.
I refuse to take medicationbecause the last time I took
medication I wanted to killmyself.
(47:00):
It does not work on me, itmakes it worse.
I didn't believe in mentalillness.
It's just not how it was raised.
You were raised to get the hellover it.
It's life, life's hard Dealwith it.
Face it head on.
Nobody cares about youremotions, Nobody cares about how
you're feeling, you just needGod.
And I'm not saying thatnegativity because I believe
faith, love and hope are the keyto conquering depression,
(47:23):
anxiety and all your wins,anxiety and all your whims.
The worst thing is the anxietybecause now, whenever my body
temperature changes, I getnauseous because I'm super
hungry, my heart races a littlebit, I drink too much caffeine,
anything like that.
I'm starting to catch thetriggers and catch the symptoms,
but really it's just tellingyourself you're okay, having a
(47:45):
strong support system.
My wife has been key becausethere was one time I was driving
and all of a sudden, out ofnowhere, I got into a panic
attack.
And I had and I was doing ahundred miles an hour because I
felt like I couldn't breathe,thought I was having a heart
attack, thought I was dying.
And it was a panic attack.
And I go and I stopped at theBucks gas station not Bucky's
but Bucks in Laverne, texas, andI get out of my car real quick,
(48:07):
my truck real quick.
I just stand on the sidewalk infront of the store and I calm
down because I'm around otherpeople.
The mental anguish comes themost when I'm alone because I
didn't know I was dying again,like I was.
The first time when I gotdiagnosed with ulcerative
colitis, I didn't know that theJ pouch was killing me and
(48:27):
nobody knew it.
None of my blood work wastelling me I was infected when I
had infecting and decayingtissue in my pelvis that had
become septic.
So now, whenever, like mynerves flare or anything like
that, I get those jolts ofdifferent waves and frequencies
in my body, it's really hard.
It's hard to deal with it and Istill deal with the anxiety and
the panic attack.
(48:48):
But I honestly could not havedealt with it without my faith,
without my wife, without my kids.
My family gives me strength.
You need to know like beingable to deal with it is knowing
that you're not alone in thesituation.
And it took Dr Patel also DrPatel, helping me with that,
helping me understand that, hey,you're not alone, there's
people out there.
I've been this patient for 15years and that's why I say you
(49:11):
need a bond with your doctor toreally help you through IBD,
because it takes that and it'sbeen a nightmare, it's been a
roller coaster, but I'm nottooting my horn.
I'm not the normal person.
I've got a very strong will tolive.
I don't want to die.
I'm okay with death.
I understand it comes foreverybody.
I'm just I'm not ready to leavemy family alone.
(49:33):
So, no matter how bad mydepression and anxiety gets, I
will never succumb to it.
I will always find a way tofight through it.
But honestly, if I didn't havemy wife or my mom or my
grandmother to call on thosedays I had those panic attacks
when I was alone or by myself,and then just to be on the phone
with me and listen to me, itcould have been a lot worse.
(49:53):
I've called the ambulance acouple of times because I
thought I was having a heartattack and dying.
So yeah, but now I'm finallygetting a grip on my anxiety.
And I didn't have that gripuntil I found faith.
Like I thought I had faith,thought I had been baptized,
thought I was doing it going bythe numbers.
I did not know what faith wasand what his love and my love
(50:14):
for him were, until this yearI've been saw it for the last
eight months I can honestly sayI've truly found my faith and a
hundred percent understand it,and that's what helps me through
.
Speaker 1 (50:26):
I'm really glad that you found that, because that is
debilitating.
It is debilitating and so scary.
Speaker 3 (50:32):
Brian said, say we have to wrap up.
What's one piece of advice youwould give to others going
through their IBD journey rightnow?
Speaker 4 (50:41):
First thing would be to take a deep breath.
Take a deep breath, slow yourbrain down, take one day at a
time, not give up.
It's not a life ender.
It is a deep breath.
Slow your brain down, take oneday at a time, not give up.
It's not a life ender.
It is a life changer.
But be willing to adapt with itso that you can overcome it and
still live the life that youwere given to live.
Because if you hide from it orif you let the fear of it take
(51:02):
control of your life, you willnever live and you'll just
you'll slowly die miserablybecause you will feel like you
don't have a life anymore, likeI did.
And it will take you years tofinally realize that you can
still live a life of IBD thatyou had before.
It just might mean you have totell hey, I've got a bag, hey, I
need to when I need to use therestroom, I need to use the
(51:24):
restroom.
I'm sorry, guys, but that'sjust the way my life is.
Take it or leave it.
You might lose friends, youmight gain friends, but really,
at the end of the day, take abreath, remember you're okay and
never give up on yourself.
Your body and your mind arestronger than you think.
If you think you're broken, youwill be broken.
If you think you're fine, yourbody will heal itself over time.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
Thank you so much, brian, for sharing your story.
I know that was not easy, so wereally, really appreciate it
and I think a lot of people willfeel inspired by your story as
well.
So thank you so much for doingthat.
Thank you, matt, for coming onto co-host with me.
I appreciate that as well.
Thanks to everybody else forlistening and cheers, guys.
Speaker 3 (52:01):
And have it Cheers, cheers to everyone, to you,
brian.
Speaker 4 (52:06):
All right guys, this is Brian.
I hope you enjoyed my story.
If you just gave you hopeyourself, please like, share,
subscribe, review, do everythingyou can and help support them.
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