Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, I'm Alicia and
I'm Robin and you're listening
to Bowel Moments, the podcastsharing real talk about the
realities of IBD Serve on therocks.
This week we brought backfriend of the show and friend of
ours, registered dietitian andIBD specialist, Stacey Collins.
We talked all about survivingthe holidays and Stacey talked
(00:20):
about it from the patientperspective as well as from the
registered dietitian perspectiveas it relates to food and the
holidays, which we know is soimportant and an integral part
of the holiday season.
We also talked about all thoseend of the year things like
using your flexible spendingaccount and your health savings
account and doing all the healthmaintenance things you need to
do before you run into a newplan year.
We definitely got a little bitsilly with this conversation, a
(00:43):
little bit deep and sometimes alittle bit dark, but we know
you'll enjoy it, Cheers.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Hi everyone, Welcome
to Battle Moments.
This is Robin.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Hey guys, this is
Alicia and we are so absolutely
delightedly, wonderfully happyto have our friend Stacey
Collins back on the show.
Stacey Collins, registereddietitian extraordinaire.
Welcome back, stacey.
Thank you, alicia and StaceyCollins, registered dietitian
extraordinaire.
Welcome back, stacey.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Thank you, Alicia and
Robin, for letting me come hang
out with you guys on this veryperfect Saturday.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
It is a very lovely
Saturday, stacey.
We will get back to why we'rehaving you on the show in just a
second, but our firstunprofessional question what are
you drinking, drinking?
Speaker 3 (01:22):
coffee with a very
small splash of heavy cream,
because it's in the morningwhich isn't early, but it's
still morning, so it's stillmorning.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Also, was it Robin I
think it was you that was
telling me that cream is sort ofsuperior to skim milk because
it has less sugar.
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (01:37):
I was telling you
that cream is superior to skim
milk.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
I'm not a milk expert
.
Less lactose.
You mean yes, yes, which is thesugar?
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Yeah, these are facts
.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
This is and thank you
very much.
I will tell you.
I remember that from January,when we were at the Crohn's and
Colitis Congress, that I wasputting something in my.
I was like something aboutcream and you're like well,
cream is really better for you.
And blah, blah, blah.
And I was like I did notrealize this.
So, thank you, Robin.
Depending, I did not realizethis.
So, thank you, Robin.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Depending on your
lactose tolerance level, Like
for me, I can do a splash ofheavy cream.
Could I do a whole cream-basedsauce?
You know I'm not going to havea good time, but sometimes it's
worth it.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Sometimes that
fettuccine needs Alfredo
Sometimes it just does.
Robin, what are you drinking?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Since we decided to
have this call in the morning, I
am also drinking coffee withsome heavy cream, but drinking
coffee with some heavy cream,but I added a splash of Kahlua.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Oh, that was a good
idea.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yes, I love it.
I thought about it.
I had I had opened a bottle ofchampagne while I was making
cheesecake last night.
I so I thought about it.
I'm like do I do a breakfastcocktail?
I chose not to, which is, Iknow, a little bit surprising
for me but I am drinking a latte.
And then, in both of your honor,I made a smoothie.
Oh, I love this.
(02:47):
I just got one of those likepacks of like frozen fruit and
then it also has like some kaleand spinach or some nonsense in
there as well.
I doctor it a little bit, but Imade it.
I made a smoothie just for youguys.
No, no, it's beautiful.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Cheers, cheers.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Cheers.
I almost made a smoothie too,but I committed to the Kahlua
this time.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
I mean, next time
just put it into your smoothie
and then a Kahlua smoothie.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Maybe, if I have a
banana honey Kahlua smoothie,
that might be good.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I like that with a
little bit of cinnamon in it.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Some Greek yogurt.
It sounds delicious.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Oh my God, I'll put
it in the show notes.
Experimental Kahlua smoothierecipe.
I love Robin.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
I could put one of my
vanilla protein shakes in there
Banana honey, vanilla proteinshake, a little dab of cinnamon
and some Kahlua Sounds delicious.
I might try it after the show.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I like that your
whole design is centered around
the Kahlua.
You're like what else could?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I combine with this
Kahlua to really highlight the
Kahlua experience and I thinkthat's important.
In my much younger days, beforemy IBD diagnosis, I was a huge
fan of white Russians.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
I could simply never.
I am not.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
This was a long time
ago, because I am, you know, not
young anymore.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Join the club, you
have to use a mindset right.
That's right Splash of Kahluain my car.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
I can do Full on
white Russian.
Probably not a good idea.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
That's probably going
to humble you over and over.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I mean, what if you
just added coffee to that?
That's basically what you'redrinking.
You're basically drinking yourwhite Russian, aren't you?
Speaker 2 (04:12):
No, white Russian is
vodka, kahlua and a little
splash of cream.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Okay, I forgot about
the vodka.
Part of that, nevermind Okay.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Modified.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
You're making the
adult version of a White Rush,
which is just coffee instead ofthe vodka.
That's right, interesting, okay.
Well, listen, guys, it's notabout inventive smoothie recipes
With glue.
Or the sins of our past.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
It is about the
holidays.
So we are deep in the midst ofDecember, which I'm not really
sure how that happened.
So we want to talk about end ofthe year slash holiday things,
survival, survival yes, survivalis the right word.
So let's talk about thesurviving the holidays and also
just kind of things that youshould know health-wise at the
(04:56):
end of the year.
So this all started because wewere texting each other and we
said, hey, stacey's having aholiday party, how does one
survive the holidays living withIBD?
So I'm going to pitch that toboth of you, because you both
have to survive the holidayswith IBD.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
For a very long time
I have set boundaries for the
holidays.
I was a single parent when mykids were little and lots of
people to visit and we didn'tvisit them.
We stayed at home, we cookedour own food and we had our own
little, just the three of uskind of holiday between my girls
and I.
Every once in a while we'd govisit someone, but I really just
(05:31):
didn't want the craziness ofdriving from place to place to
place and not knowing what theywere going to have to eat.
And with the girl I mean withthe girls too it's very
overstimulating when you havekids and stuff.
So I had the privilege ofhaving that knowledge early on
and set clear boundaries.
And now that I'm older and mykids are adults and we live and
(05:53):
work in a remote world, it's alittle bit easier.
I do invite people to my house.
If I'm going to someone else'shouse, I will prepare food and
bring it with me to donate adish to what they're eating, so
that I know what I can eat.
This year I am unfortunatelyback on the struggle bus and I'm
very tired.
(06:13):
I'm sitting with a heating pad.
I next week on Wednesday whenwe publish this episode, I will
be having an upper endoscopy anda pouchoscopy because of how
symptomatic I've been.
So this year I'm bringingpeople to me, my girls are
flying Florida to stay with meand we are just doing low-key
holidays with just both of themand us, and that's how I'm
(06:34):
surviving the holidays this year.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Robin, how did you
have boundaries back in the day
before?
Boundaries was such a buzzword.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
When I was much
younger, I worked in retail and
restaurants and you always workduring the holidays.
Your busiest time of the yearis during the holidays, and so I
kind of use that as my excusethat I had been working a lot
before and after the actual dayand it was really hard for me to
do all of that commitment toall the different families.
(07:06):
It wasn't feasible for me to dothat and I am a direct
communicator and I can say no.
No is a full sentence, and ittook my IBD diagnosis for me to
learn that lesson that I can sayno.
So I grabbed a hold of that andstuck with it.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
I feel like Robin has
always been a really good
friend in my life because, well,okay, let me back up Before we
were friends, we were colleagues, and I was telling Alicia just
last week and how nice it is tohave direct communicators in
your life like Robin, and yourealize how rare of a skill that
really is.
And then you know, in the wordsof Queen Brene Brown, clear is
kind.
(07:42):
It's so nice when you don'thave to guess what people mean.
You don't have to guess theirintentions, because they're very
clear about what makes themfeel safe and what you can do to
make them feel supported.
And so, anyway, I really valuethat about you.
I think that it's a reallyimportant skill that you've
cultivated and I know that I'm abetter person for having
witnessed that in action.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Thanks, Space your
turn.
How do you survive the?
Speaker 3 (08:05):
holidays.
So I'll just say that this yearhas been the first year of many
years that I feel moreexcitement and hopefulness than
dread, and let's just survive.
I think that I am skilled atsurvival as a patient.
I'm not always skilled atthriving, so this is like a new
uncharted fun territory for meand my brain to embark upon.
(08:29):
It was nice because last nightwe hosted some people over to
our house.
They were Zach's co-workers inhis little department, so we
kept it small.
It could have easily, you know,expanded to other departments,
even though Zach had friends inother departments.
I was like I feel comfortablewith enough people who will fit
(08:49):
in our house, which is, you know, not the whole company.
So it kind of started there andI love, as a dietitian, getting
to host and make other peoplefeel safe in a holiday party
setting.
So we sent out a little Googleinvite to his colleagues and in
that invite you could fill out aform if you had any dietary
restrictions.
(09:10):
I made it to where you can makeit anonymous so that there were
different options if people hadnut allergies or if people had,
you know, a gluten freepreference.
I made sure that there was anoption for everyone and I just
made little note cards ondifferent food items you know
this one doesn't have this, thisone has this Heads up if you
have a nut allergy.
This, you know, can't be mixedwith this and keeping dips
(09:33):
separate to make sure thateveryone was safe if they had
celiac disease.
So it was really nice.
I feel like it was kind ofhealing for me as a patient to
get to host a holidaycelebration that was inclusive
of everyone's dietarypreferences and I don't know why
people have those necessarily.
I didn't go around askingpeople or talking to them about
(09:53):
them, but it was just nice to beable to kind of have the
holiday party that I always wish.
I was invited to Very low key,very tacky Christmas music the
whole nine yards.
It was really fun and verychill.
So we had like a happy hour.
Then we went to Zach's workparty, which was a total
opposite experience.
As an IBD patient.
I was like this is hell.
(10:14):
And then we came back to ourhouse and had like a post party,
which wasn't initially planned.
So people ended up coming backover in their pajamas and in
their sweatpants and I lovegetting to host the party where
people feel comfortable enoughto just come as they are, so I
don't think I answered thequestion entirely, but surviving
the holidays, I think, requiresfrom other people consideration
(10:38):
, and if you're a patient, itrequires a considerable amount
of communication and people whoallow you to express that, and
also some planning ahead andsome introspection on your part
as well.
And I love what you said, robin, about just like making your
own dishes, having holidays inyour own space and having
boundaries.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
So what I hear you
guys saying is clear
communication boundaries.
If you are going to gosomeplace, making a dish and
bringing it so that you knowthere's something you can eat,
or communicating with the otherperson so that they can
hopefully accommodate you likeStacey did.
What about the inevitable timeswhen you can't necessarily, or
the way things work out is thatyou're not able to have it in
your own home but you do have togo to someplace else?
(11:18):
You have to travel to seefamily.
Any suggestions for folks there?
Speaker 3 (11:25):
That's really tough
and I'm a big fan of the purse
snack.
I realize that's probably avery gender specific
recommendation, but you know,hiking pack snack it doesn't
have to be a beautiful holidaymeal, it just has to be
nourishment that feels like it'snot going to make your holidays
suck more from a GI standpoint,like it's not going to make
your holidays suck more from aGI standpoint.
So for me that looks like gomacro bars.
(11:47):
They're processed, yes.
They're also very simpleingredient profile, made of
whole foods.
Could they be higher in protein?
Yes, but at the end of the dayI know that it's going to
provide me with some nutritionand I know I'm going to be able
to at least feel a little bitsatiated so that if there are
limited options at the next mealI can choose a few small things
(12:08):
.
Smaller portion sizes are oftengoing to be the way to go in
these scenarios, because youdon't want to overcommit to
something that you're just notquite sure how it's going to
feel in your body If it is kindof in a gray area or a full
blownblown flare with IBD, thatcan be really tough.
So, making sure that you haveplanned ahead, you've maybe even
(12:31):
you've worked with a dietitianto make sure that you understand
which snacks work for you,which fruits work for you, which
ingredients are gonna work foryou.
I say which fruits because Ialso always, weirdly, have kiwi
and oranges in my purse.
I realize that's not like acommon thing, but I think it is
something that people make funof me for quite often.
But anyway, yeah, making surethat you have just some options
(12:54):
on hand that are quick and easy.
They don't have to be sexy orInstagram worthy, they just have
to make you feel okay in yourbody to get you through to your
next meal.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
I'm a fan of snacks
as well.
Now that I have the J pouchalthough not recently because of
being symptomatic I like kindbars.
I can actually eat nuts now,since I got the J pouch, which
is like woohoo.
And then there's another barthat I can't think of right now.
They're like three ingredientbars and I can't remember what
the name of them is, but I likethose two now.
(13:24):
Yeah, I try to do very smallportions if I'm going to eat at
someone else's house, but alsoif we are visiting family.
We are at the point in ourlives where we can just tell
family that we are not stayingwith you.
And we, you know, get a hoteland Airbnb, you know something
like that, but we very rarelystay with people when we're
traveling to see them, so thatmakes it a little bit easier to,
(13:46):
like, run to the grocery storebefore you go to someone's house
, or something like that.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
I love that.
I do like that idea because itdoes make it mean that you
probably have a chance to makeyour own breakfast or, you know,
be able to make something andbring it with you if you're
staying someplace that has akitchen, exactly.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Yeah, I always like
to invite people to join in.
I'm making this, if you wantsome.
It doesn't have to be like abig declaration of your
diagnosis or your symptomology.
You can just be like I'm makingthis for breakfast, who wants
some?
And kind of along the lines oflike Robin's no is a complete
sentence.
You don't have to add adisclaimer to everything, but
you could still invite people toparticipate if they want.
(14:21):
It's tough too, though, becausea lot of holidays bring about a
lot of conversations aroundfood that may not feel easy to
traverse with IBD.
Yeah, holidays are tough.
Holidays are really tough.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Lots of ways.
Yeah, I mean honestly one of mymaybe it's a little bit sneaky
things is to make stuff that'sgluten-free and not tell people.
And then they don't knowthey're eating gluten-free
people and then, like you know,they don't know they're eating
gluten-free, nobody saysanything and for the most part,
like nobody notices.
And then I start eating it andthey're like hang on a second,
is this gluten-free?
I know it's a little bit sneaky, but stuff can be modified
pretty easily.
In a lot of cases.
(14:53):
You know flour blends and stuffgotten a lot better, and so I
think it's kind of fun to beable to introduce people to like
this idea of that things canstill taste really good and
still be modified.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Gluten-free has come
a long way.
I mean I feel like it's easier.
You don't even have to bereally sneaky, right?
Speaker 3 (15:07):
I mean it's easier
because, like you said, like the
types of flours that areavailable and sweeteners that
are available, you can also, youknow, talk to family members
about how to modify certainrecipes to make them feel better
for you.
I was talking through this justlast week with a patient whose
parent insisted on doing, youknow, like the jello salads from
the sixties and seventies, andI'm not going to lie, that's a
(15:30):
tough thing to try to modify.
I'm like, wow, that's right, wemight have to collaborate with
mom on maybe something else.
But I mean, you really can makea lot of things from scratch
that resemble the salads.
They're just, you know, they dolose the convenience factor of
just like opening a pan of awhip.
Reminds me so much of mychildhood in the south.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
You know what, though
?
Ambrosia salad.
Isn't this like a southernthing?
Ambrosia salad, which is likemandarin oranges fruit cocktail.
Yes, yes, cool whip.
And I remember when I was a kid, thinking like this is the best
salad I've ever seen, becauselike it's nothing but sugar.
Right, I'm a hundred percentaddicted to sugar.
I don't eat any of that anymore.
(16:14):
But it's just like when I was akid.
I'm like, yes, bring on thesalad man.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Yeah, the maraschino
cherries.
I think that was part of it too.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Can't forget those
Maraschino cherries are so good.
It's just sugar.
I love it, Basically candy, butit's fruit.
Quote unquote.
Do we want to stick with theperils of holiday parties and
family for a little bit longer?
Speaker 3 (16:31):
If you want to go eat
out for the holidays, but you
want to come across as easybreezy.
But you're actually a littlebit of a control freak because
IBD has made you this way.
What you do is you screen somemenus.
You make sure you understand,working with a dietician perhaps
what to eat in a flare, what toeat in remission, what to eat
in between?
How are you checking in withyourself?
(16:52):
Look at the menus which thingsoffer solutions for you that
feel like they're going to allowyou to experience the evening,
the holiday, with your lovedones?
And then you create a list inyour notes app several
restaurants.
You present those options tothe group, but you know that you
have an option at every singlerestaurant on that list and you
(17:14):
were like hey guys, these arethe places I'd really like to
try.
What do you think about one ofthese?
I will make a reservation andboom, you are easy breezy and in
control all at the same time.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Yes, I love that On a
side note, because I did check
in with my dietitian, stacy whohappens to be on the show with
us right now because I amsymptomatic.
And actually Stacy checked inwith me saying, are you okay?
And me having to say no, I amnot okay.
And asking me about what I'meating and me saying, at this
point my body's going to do whatit's going to do, so I'm eating
(17:47):
whatever and if something hurtsme, then I won't eat that again
.
So sometimes I am so aggravatedwith what's happening inside my
body I'm just like it's goingto do what it's going to do and
I can't not eat, which I findmyself eating less and less and
less right now, but then I can'tnot eat because then I'm
getting a headache or I'mgetting nauseous or you know
something like that, and then Ihave to eat something.
(18:09):
So, which makes it worse,because then you're not eating,
then your body's like you haveto feed me.
So I feel like that could beadded stress during the holidays
.
So, in your effort to try tonormalize life, try to live
normally, try to work andnavigate the holidays and
everything, even if you have to,like, set a reminder for
(18:29):
yourself, like if you'resymptomatic and you know that
you are avoiding eating, settinga reminder for yourself, I add
calendar blocks to my work dayto say, like, go eat something
if you haven't eaten, because Ifind myself eating later and
later in the day for the firsttime and then that kind of makes
me feel even worse.
So if you're going to go out, inthis instance 100% I eat at
(18:51):
home before I go because I, evenif I peruse the menu and have
an idea, I'm not going to wantto eat a large amount of
whatever that is and I don'twant to come home hungry at
night, feeling even worse.
So in that instance, I'm notgoing to eat a full meal before
I go, but I might actually eatsomething before I go to the
restaurant.
So I can still feel easy breezyat the restaurant and not feel
(19:15):
like I'm I was going to say,letting my body win and not feel
like I'm letting my body win.
So there's always an option tolike have a little bit of food
before you go out to dinner tohelp alleviate the stress of
eating up.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
That's really a
perfect example of how you can
maintain consistent nourishment.
Give a couple of good examples.
You know scheduling calendarblocks in your day, which I have
to do as well, because I willjust manically work through a
lunch hour and then Zach willget home from work and be like
why do you hate me in the wholeworld?
And I actually don't.
I just haven't fed myself forthe whole entire day.
(19:49):
So that's an important thing todo.
And then also getting to stillparticipate in those moments
with your family, but inalignment with a way that looks
and feels good-ish in your bodyright now eating before you go
out but so you're still able toparticipate and you're still
able to stay nourished.
That's good.
You know using nutrition tokind of in some way have
(20:13):
somewhat of a routine that yourlife is sort of built around.
I love talking about the joy andfinding you know how we can
enjoy food, but we're not allthere all the time with IBD.
Most of us aren't.
Truthfully, I talk about thatat Nauseam because I think that
there's so much talk onlineabout inflammatory foods and you
(20:35):
did this to yourself and a lotof us are high performing.
It seems like a lot of peoplewith IBD are high performers,
who are very hard on ourselves,who will work ourselves to the
bone type of personalities.
A lot of times that just seemsto be what I encounter, and
certainly projecting my ownexperience here.
But I think sometimes we letgood be the enemy of perfect and
if we don't just allow time totry to put some sort of food in
(20:58):
our bodies, recognizing that ourappetites are going to be
suppressed in that inflammatoryprocess, recognizing that we
can't rely on our hunger andfullness cues in a flare to
remind us when to eat, how canwe still support our muscles,
how can we still set ourselvesup for the possibility of
healing through this flare?
It's going to take a little bitof planning and it's going to
(21:19):
take a little bit of consistencyon our parts and it is possible
to live a really full life withIBD.
But my God, it does requiresome cruise ship directing level
of attention to detail at timesand that feels insurmountable
with the fatigue.
So I think that's great pointsthat you mentioned.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Well, and not eating
contributes to fatigue as well.
So it's kind of a vicious cycleof like if your body doesn't
have anything to burn, you'regoing to be tired, but in order
to plan it you got to not befatigued.
So it's.
It is a kind of a catch 22,.
But I don't know, robin.
I mean you, you've said in thepast you just even the
supplementation with like somenutrition shakes, you know like
(21:54):
the Cape farms kind of that youthrow into your Kahlua coffees.
You know it's, you know howthat is.
There are things that you cando.
That it's.
You know it's simple, you knowit's easy.
You're not really going to feellike eating, but you know that
you can tolerate this kind ofthing.
It's just having some of thaton hand so that when you need to
eat something but you're notfeeling great, you still have
something to.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Yeah, I mean, I have
shakes in my fridge right, just
for that.
One thing that I have to remindmyself and thank you, stacey,
for reminding me this week Ihave upper GI Crohn's, I have
Crohn's in my stomach and a Jpouch.
And, stace, what's the stat?
One to 2% of all Crohn's isupper GI or in stomach, so
(22:33):
there's not a lot of us and a Jpouch.
So how many people is that?
So this is relatively new to mein 2017, 2018 is when I went
into a horrible, horrible,horrible flare, when my
diagnosis got changed, and sobeing able to actually actively
recognize symptoms this timearound has been interesting,
(22:54):
because Stacey and I on thisshow talked a lot about gas
after the J pouch getting the Jpouch, having a lot of gas.
We text each other about gas,but I started realizing that it
wasn't all gas that was causingmy discomfort and pain, and so
that was like a light bulbmoment, and then my husband told
me just last week you're notdoing great.
Like you are not doing great, Ineed you to recognize that.
And so I had to do someself-reflection to be like oh
(23:16):
yeah, I have to stop gaslightingmyself, I have to stop
normalizing symptoms and I haveto acknowledge that I'm not
doing great, which is reallyhard to do after you're feeling
well, after feeling so bad right, you're feeling so bad, you're
on the cusp, near-deathexperiences and then you feel
better again.
And then you have toacknowledge that now I'm
starting to have symptoms again,and so, especially during the
(23:38):
holiday season, when I justwanna be able to be with my
family and make great food forthem and enjoy this time of the
year I love Christmas it makesit hard, and then having to try
to differentiate what mysymptoms are like, am I
overanalyzing it?
And then I start to feel painand I'm like, oh, this is the
pain that I was feeling back in2017 and 2018.
Okay, so then you know what doI do?
(24:00):
Then I have to send my doctor amessage in the patient portal,
all the while telling myselfthat I'm not making this up.
I am actually feeling thesethings in my body and we have to
do the test to find out aboutit all.
While trying to navigateholidays and make plans with my
kids and while I have all ofthese great tips and tools and
(24:21):
tricks and recommendations andall that stuff.
I'm having to actively navigatethat this year and I think the
hardest part about that is stuffI'm having to actively navigate
that this year.
And I think the hardest partabout that is acknowledging that
I'm having symptoms again,acknowledging that while my
doctor and her team are some ofthe best in the country surely
probably the world I am a uniqueperson.
(24:43):
Like there's not a lot ofresearch about what I'm
experiencing.
So I'm like gearing up toadvocate for myself, to try to
get this stuff done before theend of the year, when people are
taking time off and wheninsurance is like you know, hey,
can we do my scope at the endof the year instead of waiting
until January Because I'vereached my maximum out of pocket
, you know.
(25:03):
So it's like it's not just foodand going to parties and having
holidays with your family, it'salso I have reached my maximum
out of pocket.
So what do I need to have ascope?
Do I need to have blood workdone?
Do I need to go and see my GI?
Do I need to see my PCP?
Like what are all of theseother things that, as a patient
who is experiencing symptomsagain, what am I trying to get
(25:25):
done before the end of the yearand navigate the holidays?
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Yeah, I think a lot
of people are feeling that same
way right now, because the stateof affairs in the world is a
little stressful for people allover the world right now and no
one is ever just navigating theholidays, especially with IBD.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Hi guys, this is
Robin and we are currently
scheduling our interviews for2025.
If you would like to be on theshow or if you know someone that
you think should be on the show, please let me know.
Send me a message on Instagramor send me an email, robin, at
bowelmomentspodcom.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
So, in summary, just
around the holidays, thinking
about planning ahead your meals,a little bit, communicating
with your loved ones if they'repeople who allow you to feel
safe and supported, which I knowin itself is an immense
privilege Checking in withyourself, making a list of safe
foods that feel okay in yourbody right now, ignoring all the
(26:26):
foods that don't, because thatlist might sometimes feel way
larger.
The goal is, over time, tounderstand that your safe foods
list can expand and what doesn'twork for you today won't feel
that way perhaps even in thenext holiday.
Making sure that you areplanning ahead to include menu
items from restaurants that youcan choose.
(26:47):
You have your travel snacks.
You've got your travel tools Ifyou're traveling on an airplane
.
You've got tools to understandhow to move gas along in your
body so it doesn't get trappedand make your discomfort worse.
We didn't even talk about that,but it is an important thing to
mention.
Making sure that you are ableto participate in holiday events
and not isolate.
(27:07):
So in Robin's instance, thatlooked like eating a little bit
before going out to eat with agroup so that she maintains that
consistent nutrition, andthat's kind of the last piece is
if you're able to maintain somesort of mealtime consistency,
even if it's not a beautifulmeal, even if it doesn't look
perfect, even if it doesn't meetyour ideal of what you feel
(27:28):
like you should be eating.
Those are all things to getextremely curious about and work
through with a professional,but maintaining some sort of
consistency in your structuredroutine, which you can do just
by setting alarms whenever thosehunger and fullness cues are
disrupted by inflammation.
Those are all things I thinkanyone, no matter their phase of
IBD, can kind of start to getcurious about implementing
(27:49):
through their nutrition.
And that was just kind of.
I wanted some people to have alittle bit of some key takeaways
for moving through the holidayswith nutrition.
I think those are some triedand trues Not to dismiss the
last part of what you said,Robin, because I think that we
need to talk about how tonavigate the whole picture, not
just the nutrition thing Beforemy rant.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
I think that was an
important rant.
I do think, Robin, you bring upa really good point of all of
this sort of in the midst ofhaving to do all of the chaos of
preparing for the holidays,doing all the things with your
families, all these holidayparties, navigating all of that.
Navigating all of that, thereis that aspect of like all of
the stuff that you potentiallyneed to get done before you go
(28:29):
into your new healthcare planyear and all of your co-pays
come back up and or you have touse your health savings accounts
.
So that's super important.
So can we spend a little bit oftime talking about kind of how
you guys navigate that?
Speaker 3 (28:40):
So as a patient.
I am not always the bestpatient and I actually
remembered the other day thatit's December.
We're now in mid-December.
I'm pretty sure I rememberedthis December 1st.
I was like I need to ask my GIdoctor to recheck my iron that
we repleted back in August tomake sure that it stuck around,
and if it didn't, I need tohurry up and get in for an
infusion because it would becovered and it would not cost me
(29:03):
, you know, $1,600 out of pocket.
And then I just completelyneglected the fact that it's now
December 14th as we'rerecording this and didn't check
back in, didn't circle back.
Very likely I'm going to have topay another $1,600 because iron
care is part of your IBD careand even though I eat a lot of
lovely iron rich foods, I'mstill going to need an infusion
(29:24):
because that is the flavor ofIBD that I have and that is a
bummer.
So usually I try to look atlike, okay, these are the things
that are going to cost a lot ofmoney, these are the things
I've already paid for this year.
How can I maximize on that?
I don't have the verbiage tounderstand exactly why that is.
So Robin might be a better,better person to talk to through
that, but that's just how mybrain approaches it as a patient
(29:45):
.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
This year is the
first year that I thought I
might not hit my max out ofpocket.
And I'm not just talking aboutlike hit my deductible, I mean
family max out of pocket and Ihave a high deductible plan.
So when I found out that I didhit my max out of pocket, I was
like, okay, what else do I haveto get done?
And also also, do I have theenergy to do?
(30:06):
So?
I have recently been seeing apelvic floor physical therapist
regularly and I don't have Ihave to drive like an hour, hour
and a half to see this personone way, and so I'm like I don't
have the energy to do that overthe holidays, so I'm going to
circle back with them after.
But I did have to have a scope.
When they called to schedule myscope, they're like, oh, in
(30:27):
early January, and I said, canwe make it in December so that
it's covered by my insurance inthis?
Speaker 1 (30:32):
year.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
And so they were able
to do that, you know,
mid-december to get my scope in.
But then I'm also asking likeblood work.
I also have the flavor of IBDthat I've had to have iron
infusions in the past and so dowe need to have blood work for
my rheumatologist.
I need to have x-rays.
I wanted to make sure that Iget those in before the end of
the year and I've sat on herebefore and I've even shared when
(30:54):
I've been having visits that Igo to Mayo.
So if I'm driving all the wayto Mayo I want to have all of
that stuff done at the same time, if I can.
But I'm also like getting myeyes checked.
So I have to get my eyeschecked pretty often because of
the IBD.
I haven't had any problems yet,but there've just been signs,
and so every time I see somebodythat checks my eyes they're
(31:14):
like okay, let's see you againin six months because of that.
So I haven't had any problemswith my eyes, but every single
time they're like let's see youagain in six months.
So I have to get that donebefore the end of the year.
And then I'm looking at my HSAand my FSA, so it's not just
like what's covered in myinsurance and have I met my
deductible or max out of pocketor anything like that it's?
Do I have funds to pay for it?
(31:35):
In these two programs andthey're two very different
programs One of them rolls overone of them you lose the funds
if you don't use them.
So I feel like if you have IBDor someone in your family has a
chronic illness, even you reallyneed to be familiar with the
ins and outs of your insurancepolicy.
I'm the one who has insurancefor my family, and so we every
(31:57):
year, before it's time when it'sopen enrollment, we go through,
we look at what we spent in theprevious year, we add
everything up and we're likeokay, what's the most
cost-effective insurance for us?
Is it where it's a copay, ppokind of situation, or is it the
high deductible, where we haveto pay more out of pocket at the
beginning of the year, butoverall the cost for the whole
(32:18):
year is less?
And so I don't think thatpeople understand how that works
sometimes and they end uppaying their premium and then
still paying a copay, and theydon't understand that by the end
of the year, because of howexpensive their premiums are,
they actually ended up payingmore than if they had done high
deductible.
But not everybody has money atthe beginning of the year to pay
(32:39):
for everything out of pocket.
So I know it depends on yoursituation and what you can do,
but I'm always trying to not paythe insurance company money, so
that's what we do.
And then, because I have a highdeductible plan, I have an HSA
and the company that I work foralso provides an FSA.
So HSA only is available if youhave a high deductible
insurance plan and an FSA isonly available if your company
(33:02):
sponsors it, like that is acompany sponsored program.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
So what are the
acronyms HSA is health savings
account.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Health savings,
flexible, flexible spending.
So HSA is health savings andFSA is flexible spending.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
Can you explain a
little bit about?
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Yeah, I'm like what
is the flexible spending one do?
Robin, human resources yes,Fill us in.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
I am not an agent, so
health savings accounts are
just that savings accounts.
It is not like employeesponsored.
It's available to you if youget a high deductible plan and
it is portable, which means thatif you change employers, your
health savings account goes withyou and if you don't spend all
of that money, it earns interestand can be an investment too.
And it is pre-tax dollars.
(33:47):
Flexible spending account issponsored by your employer.
It is not portable.
So if you were to leave yourjob, any money that was put into
that you don't get to take withyou and it does not roll over.
So however much money you havein a flexible spending account,
you have to use it by the end ofwhatever that term is.
I'm going to use mine as anexample.
So it goes through the end ofthe calendar year, but then we
(34:09):
have a three-month grace.
So I'm lucky that if I haveanything done in January,
february or March that qualifiesfor my FSA, I can still use
this calendar year's FSA inJanuary, february, march, but
then by the end of March that'sit.
If I haven't used all the money, I lose.
Whatever is in there and theflexible spending.
I don't know all the ins andouts, but it has to do with tax,
(34:31):
taxes and how that works.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
I do know that you
can buy SPF with that, because I
did.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
Yes, it is available
online and I think that there
might be differences for eachone.
But you can purchase over thecounter-counter items with your
FSA so you don't lose thatflexible spending money
over-the-counter meds, sunscreen, that kind of stuff.
But you can look that up withyour actual policy and it will
tell you what you can do.
And then flexible spendingdollars can sometimes be
(35:01):
specific.
So, like originally at mycompany, the flexible, the FSA,
was just for vision and dentaland so I could only use FSA
dollars for going to the eyedoctor or going to the dentist.
And then just recently itchanged and now primary care
appointments count under thatflexible spending and FSA.
You have to submit a receipt tobe reimbursed by a certain
(35:24):
deadline, like you have to provethat you use the funds forursed
by a certain deadline.
Like you have to prove that youuse the funds for what you're
saying you're using the fundsfor and they're going to
reimburse you.
An HSA it's not the samebecause it's like your health
savings account, so you caneither use it to pay for the
appointments in the moment orthen submit to get reimbursed
afterwards.
I don't think I've ever had tosubmit a receipt for my HSA, but
(35:46):
for the FSA, I have to submit areceipt every single time, so
that's something to keep in mindtoo.
You should always save yourreceipts if you're getting
reimbursed.
But FSA you have to submit yourreceipt in order to be
reimbursed, because they have tocheck to make sure it qualifies
for what the flexible spendingaccount is set up for.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
So, like you can see
allied health professionals and
it sounds like you're having tosee pelvic floor PT, dieticians,
whoever it is that you need tosee who isn't 100% covered by
your insurance or covered at allIf you have a doctor's referral
and everyone probably listeningto this show has a confirmed
diagnosis of some type ofCrohn's disease, ulcerative
(36:24):
colitis, indeterminate colitis,microscopic colitis you have
that diagnostic code.
You can see these allied healthprofessionals and use these
accounts to kind of coverwhatever isn't covered by
insurance, right?
Speaker 2 (36:35):
Yes, that is correct,
Huge.
I definitely use my HSA for mypublic floor physical therapy
appointments Same game changer.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Game changer.
You said you used your healthsavings account for your pelvic
surgery.
Okay, so what's an example ofwhat's something that you've
used your FSA for?
Speaker 2 (36:53):
I have used the FSA
for dentist, my eye appointments
, purchasing glasses, my kids'braces, lots of contacts, and
now, probably around mid-yearthis year, primary care like
visits have been approved forthe FSA.
So Matt just used it for goingto like a well check at primary
(37:13):
care.
So and then I use the FSA.
If there is any money left atthe end of the year, I use it to
like get not sunscreen butover-the-counter meds.
So some of the over-the-countermeds that I take I use it to
restock.
You know our house with thatkind of stuff and I have to look
it up because I never rememberall the things that are
available for FSA.
So I look it up.
I also have my HSA card and myFSA card saved in my Amazon
(37:37):
account so that if I buyover-the-counter meds or
something like that from Amazon,I can just use it to pay for it
right there and it'll let youknow if it's eligible or not.
If you do it that way and someFSAs actually have like the
website will link to a storelike an FSA store, and so
everything that's availablethere is available for you to
purchase with your FSA account.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
Oh, also, therapy is
covered as well.
Yeah, it's usually like Marchis about to roll around and
Zach's like, hey, we need tomake sure that all of these
things are put on these accountsand we have receipts for these
things, and it's like a lot ofmad dash to the finish sort of
energy, because I also tend toforget that we have these things
and I just complain and lamentat the cost of things and forget
(38:20):
that I actually have money setaside for that.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
I mean, one of the
benefits is pre-tax right, so
that reduces your tax burden.
Is these funds get put intothese accounts?
Speaker 3 (38:32):
Roll over.
It's our money, but that's arant.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
That is my beef is.
I've definitely donated quite abit of money to whatever
company it is that that'ssupposed to be doing this,
because I forget about it and itdoesn't roll.
So this is your.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
Yeah, this is your
reminder.
Don't be like Stacey and AliciaGo check your HSA and FSA
accounts.
So HSA, that money does rollover, you can keep it with you,
but FSA does not.
You will lose.
So make sure that you arefamiliar with the policies and
restrictions and guidelines ofyour FSA account.
Speaker 1 (39:08):
Get some sunscreen.
It's funny, as you say, thatlike HSA rolls over.
I don't know that.
I knew that.
I thought it didn't, so Idefinitely probably have a
health savings account somewherethat still exists that has like
thousands of dollars in it thatI've never used.
I'm going to have to look intothis.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Go find it.
I always think that it's goingto be like a great.
I'm like one day I'm going tojust not use any of this money
in my HSA and I'm going to.
It's going to just be, you know, thousands of dollars and then
by the end of the year I'm like,nope, it's at zero again.
But at least I had it to payfor all of tax free, to pay for
all of these bills.
Maybe one day.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
It's a dream.
One quick thing, though that youmentioned that I don't know
that we've really spent a lot oftime on, but, robin, all of the
things that you mentioned thatcan go along with Crohn's
disease in particular is gettingyour skin checked, getting your
eyes checked, appointments toget your joints checked, that
kind of stuff.
Getting your bone scans donebecause you've probably taken
(40:06):
steroids, all of those healthmaintenance things that go along
with it, but just other thingsthat you don't know that could
be related to your IBD.
So I think I'm glad that youmentioned that, because I don't
know that we spent a lot of timetalking about that.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
I feel like I think
we probably have said this like
having a chronic illness is afull-time job.
Having a chronic illness is afull-time job.
So I definitely have to get abone scan, definitely have to
get full body scan with adermatologist, blood work three
or four times a year.
Rheumatologist like I'm gettingx-rays.
I haven't had x-rays in a yearand so they want to do x-rays
(40:41):
again.
Eye doctor right, because eyesare an extra intestinal
manifestation for people withIBD.
I think that everybody shouldsee a pelvic floor physical
therapist because you are goingto the bathroom more than normal
.
While this is not a bathroomdisease, there are so many other
things.
If you've listened to even ahandful of our episodes, you
know there are so many otherthings that go along with this,
(41:01):
but going to the bathroom is apart of it, and seeing a pelvic
floor physical therapist while Ineed it because of my surgeries
, it would have helped me somuch.
Or an occupational therapistthat has that pelvic floor
certification Also.
I saw an occupational therapistthat has pelvic floor
certification and now I'm seeinga pelvic floor PT regular
(41:25):
therapy, but you can haveproblems with your teeth, so I
mean dental checkups.
Obviously that's just regular,but you can also have problems
with your teeth from IBD.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
I mean, I just feel
like the steroids can really
mess up your teeth and yourbones in particular.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Yes, Amber said this
when she was on the show, when
she said she went and had herfollow-up pouchoscopy and the
doctor was like this looksperfect, why are you here?
And she said, because cancerPeople with IBD are at a higher
risk for cancer.
I don't want to scare anyone,but it has nothing to do with
the meds that you're on.
I mean, while that cancontribute, you just are at a
(42:00):
higher risk for cancer, and thelonger that you live with IBD,
the higher the risk.
And so going to thegynecologist and having like
PAPs and all of that stuff isjust as important as getting
checked for skin cancer.
And then we were talking,before we hit record, that I
have an endoscopic specialistthat does my scopes.
(42:20):
My GI doesn't do my scopesbecause part of my problem in my
rear is precancerous cellsdysplasia.
Like you know, my butthole justwon't give me a rest, it just
won't let me relax at all.
And so, like having screening,whatever that looks like, to
make sure that you're notdeveloping any kind of cancer,
(42:41):
is important too.
So, like we just have to bevigilant.
We just have to be vigilant.
And sometimes, man, I'm justtired, I'm just too tired to be
vigilant, and so then I'll takea break, like I'll do, like,
okay, for three months I'm justgoing to live my life and not
focus on this, and try to sleepand try to relax and try to rest
, and then I have to pick itright back up again because I
(43:02):
can't go too long without thevigilance.
Speaker 3 (43:05):
It does feel like
exhausting to have a chronic
anything, because the healthcare system is just heinous to
endure.
It really is.
I can't think of a better wordto describe it, except for just
it's completely dehumanizing tofeel like you're being treated
like an experiment, like you'rebeing treated like an algorithm.
(43:26):
Even worse, doctors aren'talways looking at you in the eye
, they're looking at your labsand you're like hello, can we
just talk about what I'mexperiencing and maybe not pay
so much attention to theseclinical indicators that I know
are of importance?
But I'm trying to explain mysituation to you and I'm not
being heard.
And like it's really hard tofind a good care team, like
(43:48):
Robin and I have been lucky tofind, and even that, like I
don't have a team, I have a GIdoctor I still haven't found a
solid PCP or OB-GYN care.
It's okay to give yourself alittle bit of self-compassion
and, like Robin said, like ifyou can afford yourself a little
bit of time to come up for air,you know, because it does feel
like you're constantly fightingto navigate the system.
(44:10):
You're constantly fightingagainst your body whenever the
disease is really rearing itsugly head, as it will do
sometimes, and it also feelslike a conspiracy to have to
rely on medications that do havehard side effect profiles, but,
as Robin said, the reality is alot of these medications
decrease risk for cancers if theinflammation continues without
(44:31):
being monitored.
So it's so important thatpeople with IBD if you don't
want the medications, like youneed to find a GI doctor who
will continue to monitor youregardless, because if this
inflammation which I tell mypatients often, the inflammation
that the wellness influencersare talking about is child's
play compared to the level ofinflammation that we experience
(44:53):
as people who live in a bodywith an inflammatory digestive
disease, so we need to bemonitored.
Whatever that looks likepouchoscopies, scopes,
intestinal ultrasounds, cts,like whatever your team
determines is best for you.
That is the strategy thatultimately you have to stick
with is some sort of monitoringstrategy with a compassionate
(45:15):
provider, which I know is easiersaid than done to find.
Speaker 1 (45:18):
Stacey from a
dietician perspective.
So taking your patient hat offand putting your dietician hat
back on.
When people are asking forblood work, what are the things
that they should be asking for?
Because what you've said in thepast is that standard blood
work that gets ordered doesn'talways have what people with IBD
may want to see.
For instance, iron, like thatcame up of.
Like if you're going to get aniron panel, make sure you do an
(45:40):
iron panel and that this isincluded.
So what are people asking for?
Speaker 3 (45:44):
Yeah, I think that
you know.
The complete metabolic panelthat your doctor orders is great
.
You should probably be fastingfor that one.
But in addition to that, justevery single patient with IBD
needs to be getting a vitamin Dat least annually.
They need to be getting a totaliron binding capacity with
ferritin that's the name of theiron panel.
(46:05):
You could easily just say ironpanel with ferritin.
Those are two vials, so we'reup to three vials.
If you have a history of anemia,meaning your hemoglobin, your
hematocrit are low, you can feelthat in your body You're
sluggish, you're fatigued,you're feeling like you can't
possibly get close enough to theground because you're so tired.
You also need to get yourfolate and your B12 checked.
(46:26):
So that's five differentmicronutrient vials that should
always be monitored if you havea history of anemia, especially
with those B vitamins.
But I think, most importantly,if you can't get anything else,
get an iron panel with vitamin D.
Those are very important.
And then other things you canadd on to really depend on the
location of your disease, butthat's territory for working
(46:48):
with a clinician, I think.
Oh, also, there will be a paperpublished very soon about
vitamin C, so that might besomething to look out for as
well.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
Something.
I was quieter during AwarenessWeek than I had planned to be,
like on our socials and all ofthat.
I had this whole plan for us toroll out, because we are live
on YouTube as Amber left when wedid her show she left the part
in about us doing that and I wasquieter during IBD Awareness
Week than I wanted to be becauseof what I'm going through right
(47:18):
now being symptomatic and allof that stuff and normalizing my
symptoms like we do.
We were talking about dealingwith insurance and my medication
got denied, so that was anotherthing that, like, really made
me come to terms with beingsymptomatic, and this is
medication that I've been on forfive years now.
The dose is the same, nothinghas changed, and so having to
(47:41):
deal with that on top ofeverything else, I understand.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
I think it's hard to
be like, yay, I want to go out
and recognize this disease, thatright now I just want to like
punch a wall because, like, whyis this being denied?
Why is this like something thatfeels so simple and that
happened so regularly issuddenly getting like it's now
becoming something else I haveto deal with.
It's hard to say, you know, Iwant to recognize something in
(48:05):
that moment.
I that sucks, I'm sorry, robin.
Speaker 3 (48:08):
I do have a question
for Robin, with Crohn's of your
stomach.
When I met you, you had not hadfruit in years, years, years.
I met you in 2014, 2015, 2015,2016.
I don't know something likethat, what is time, but you
(48:31):
hadn't had fruit in a long, manyyears.
Many, many years you addedfruit back in.
Speaker 2 (48:33):
How does fruit feel
right now?
Are you able to eat it at all?
I'm just curious.
Yes, I feel like, after reallynot being able to eat it for so
long, I refuse to give it upagain, which is probably going
to be problematic when it comesdown to it.
But I mean, I obviously stilldo smoothies.
Like I will do smoothies.
I feel like, even if I have togive it up in other ways, I'll
do smoothies, but I am stilleating fruit.
(48:54):
But well, I mean honestly,every time I eat something right
now, my stomach gets grumbly.
Speaker 3 (48:58):
So you know you're in
an active yeah.
I was an active player, so justcurious, but also I wanted you
to see that that was how that's.
That's huge, that's huge.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
I've probably said
this on the show before Alicia,
but eating fruit will never getold to me.
I will never not be in awe ofthe fact that I can eat fruit
again.
I'm tearing up, talking abouteating fruit right now.
Every time I eat fruit, I takea minute to acknowledge and
celebrate the fact that I, after20 years, I'm not eating fruit.
I have been able to eat fruitfor the past couple of years.
(49:28):
It is ridiculous and amazing,and I will never, never, not be
in awe of the fact that I caneat fruit now.
I'm tearing up right now.
Speaker 3 (49:36):
I love that it still
counts in a smoothie form Still
counts.
Speaker 2 (49:39):
This is what life is,
with relapsing, remitting,
moderate to severe Crohn'sdisease.
I feel like I have to remindpeople too, like Stacey reminded
me of this because we get intothe habit of even though I do
the show in my personal life, Iget into the habit of not
(50:00):
talking about it, because if youtalk about it, you focus on it,
and I don't want to focus onbeing tired, I don't want to
focus on not having the energyto do things, I don't want to
focus on what I can't eat.
I don't want to focus on allthat stuff.
Speaker 3 (50:14):
Yeah, not wanting.
Let's not like focus on thesuck.
Yeah, let's not focus on thesuck, we all acknowledge it's
there.
Let's like maybe cope through alittle bit of gentle, dark
humor and also just like holdspace for our friends, but also
like fuck you, ibd, we're goingto run a marathon.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
That is right.
I mean, from the person whosigned up for a marathon right
after surgery.
Basically, it feels like whoshould not have done that.
I was scared.
Yeah, yes, dark humor.
I mean I don't know how manytimes in the past couple of
weeks because of how symptomaticI've been, matt has looked at
me and been like I really justhate your body and I'm like I
know me too, me too.
(50:53):
He's like I'm really tired ofthis.
I'm like me too.
I feel like when I'm notfeeling well, I feel like a lot
of his comments which actuallymade me feel better because
they're so freaking dark andfunny.
I know that it's coming from aplace that he wants to be able
to help me and he can't.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
Love you, matt, wow,
okay, so last question for both
of you.
Speaker 3 (51:15):
What's your one piece
of advice for the holiday
season?
Survive, survive and not thrive.
Probably dark, let's try again.
Speaker 2 (51:20):
Let's try again.
Speaker 3 (51:21):
We thought this would
be a lightheartedhearted
episode.
Speaker 1 (51:24):
I really did guys, I
did sorry, sorry everyone.
You guys need to lighten yourshit up, guys.
No, I'm joking I'm, I'm flaring.
Speaker 2 (51:35):
There's nothing
light-hearted about that, it's
fine, I'm jaded um okay, let methink.
Speaker 3 (51:44):
Oh, I know for a
clinician please check your iron
panels on your patients like,imagine doing your job with no
oxygen in your brain.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
Just please check our
iron levels, please.
Speaker 2 (51:57):
Good one for me, it
is number one.
Give yourself some grace.
You don't have to be all thingsto all people.
Like stacy said, I feel likethe people that I've come into
contact with with IBD are highachievers.
Perfectionists go above andbeyond, like trying to
compensate for something thatthey feel like they're lacking,
or maybe something that theirdisease has taken away from them
(52:19):
, and it's just not true.
I would like to be the personto tell you that your 80% hell,
even maybe your 60% is a lotbetter than most people's 100%.
So give yourself some grace.
And it's okay to set boundarieswith your family and your
friends at the holiday time, andit's okay to ask for what you
need and to expect it.
Speaker 3 (52:40):
Yep, it's okay to
come up for air in the holidays
and you probably should so thatyou can try to be at least there
for yourself, if not for otherpeople, because you can't be
everything to everyone.
But you know, one of thebeautiful things about this
disease is it does allow us anexcuse to catch our breath in
the bathroom.
If somebody is talking hotnonsense, you can go for a
(53:02):
little walk.
Just allow yourself to come upfor some air so that you can
survive and maybe even thrive,if that's an available mindset
for you to try on this holiday.
Speaker 2 (53:13):
I want to highlight
what Stacey said using the
disease to get a break in thebathroom.
Use it for everything.
If you're traveling and you'regetting on a plane this holiday
season, pre-board or getassistance through TSA or
whatever that looks like to makethat process easier for you.
If you don't want to go seethat family person sorry, not
feeling good Can't go, even ifyou're feeling great.
(53:34):
Even better if you're feelinggreat, because then you could
actually take advantage of notbeing with that person.
Speaker 1 (53:39):
who's putting you
down, so take making you down.
Auntie Robin and Auntie Staceyaren't going to throw you under
the bus, I promise.
Speaker 3 (53:45):
I.
Speaker 1 (53:45):
B-E-O-S-E-U.
Speaker 2 (53:46):
That is exactly right
.
Speaker 1 (53:54):
I think that's good
advice for anybody, though, is
to set boundaries and do whatyou need to do to keep yourself
healthy and safe during theholiday seasons, because there's
a lot of obligation foreverybody.
It's okay to say no.
It's okay not to go to thatholiday party.
It's okay to sit and watch LoveIsland and drink champagne on
your Friday night instead of besocial.
It's okay, that's right.
Guys, thank you so much forjoining me on this Saturday
morning filled with advice.
I appreciate it.
(54:14):
So cheers to both of you forjoining me and cheers to
everybody else for listening,and since this is going to be
our last episode of the year, wewant to thank everybody for
listening, because we reallyappreciate all of your ears and
all of your comments andeverybody who has joined us on
the show, and also happy newyear to everybody else.
May 2025 bring health toeverybody on this call and
(54:36):
everybody listening, and joy toeverybody as well.
I will cheers to that, cheers,cheers.
If you liked this episode,please rate, review, subscribe
and, even better, share it withyour friends.
Cheers.