December 9, 2025 • 30 mins
We explore how everyday movement regulates kids’ brains, lifts moods, and strengthens family bonds, then trade practical ways to make activity normal, fun, and realistic. From garage gyms to free play and turkey trots, we show how tiny steps become lasting habits.
• why physical activity regulates mood and brain development
• modeling movement as parents through daily routines
• realistic active family habits without perfection
• balancing organized sports with unstructured free play
• engaging shy or nonathletic kids through low-pressure options
• replacing screens with connection and active fun
• overcoming barriers like time, weather and discomfort
• simple first steps and backup plans for consistency
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome to Brain-Based Parenting, the Boys
Ranch podcast for families.
We all know how hard being aparent is, and sometimes it
feels like there are no goodanswers to the difficult
questions families have whentheir kids are struggling.
Our goal each week will be totry and answer some of those
tough questions, utilizing theknowledge, experience, and
(00:21):
professional training CalFarley's Boys Ranch has to
offer.
Now here is your host, CalFarley Staff Development
Coordinator, Joshua Sprock.
SPEAKER_01 (00:30):
Hello and welcome.
Today we're going to talk abouthow we can best create healthy
environments for our families bybecoming more active.
SPEAKER_02 (00:35):
To do that, today I'm again joined by Suzanne
Wright, Vice President ofTraining and Intervention.
Chloe Hewitt, Youth ProgramsAdministrator.
SPEAKER_04 (00:43):
Sam Cerna, Assistant Administrator of Residential
Communities.
SPEAKER_01 (00:46):
All right, let's kick off our discussion by being
active by jumping into ourquestion of the day.
So, how would you rate yourcurrent physical activity level
and what is your favorite activeoutdoor activity?
SPEAKER_02 (00:56):
I'm gonna say that my current activity level is
fairly low.
It's just like anything else,it's a habit, and I have gotten
out of the habit.
And my favorite outdoor activityis walking.
SPEAKER_03 (01:06):
I guess how would I rate?
I guess good.
I love to be very good.
Very good.
I love to be active.
So my favorite outdoor activityis probably if it's an activity,
it's running.
But it actually, what myfavorite activity would be is to
do a workout outside is one ofmy favorite things to do in the
sunshine.
SPEAKER_04 (01:25):
My current activity level is extreme.
And if you know, you know.
But I'm doing two workouts aday, 45 minutes each, and one of
them has to be outside.
My most common workout activityoutside is walking, which I
hate.
But really, what I like doing, Ibought this thing.
Well, I bought a I bought aworkout device and it's it uses
bands, and I like to be outsidein my backyard, even at night by
(01:46):
a fire, and I'll do lifting inmy backyard.
So that's my current favoriteoutdoor activity.
Josh?
SPEAKER_01 (01:50):
I'd say I'm mid.
I am somewhat active, not asmuch as I used to be.
I would say my favorite ishiking.
And Suzanne, you sell yourselfshort.
Last year, you and I hiked tothe top of uh Diamondback, which
is not an easy hike, and we didthat pretty good, I'd say.
SPEAKER_02 (02:04):
That's true.
That's true.
SPEAKER_03 (02:05):
Yeah, and I also Josh and I just ran a 5K like
not that long ago.
He was we didn't even know wewere both doing it, and then we
saw each other at the beginning.
SPEAKER_01 (02:13):
So well, I would say yes, we saw each other at the
beginning, and then you passedme, and then we've been see each
other for a long, long time.
All right, so why is physicalactivity so essential to
children's physical, emotional,and brain development?
SPEAKER_03 (02:28):
You know, I think they thrive better when they are
active, right?
And we know that they need to dobig movement.
And so, and I honestly wouldventure to say it's not even
necessarily children.
I think we as adults are betterif we are doing a physical
activity regularly.
And then I recently heard, itwas funny, I was sitting this
week, my daughter had a programwe were sitting across from some
other parents, and they saidtheir pediatrician told them to
(02:50):
get their son out every day torun just a little bit, and so to
run with your son every day.
And so I thought that wasinteresting.
Even pediatricians are nowgiving that advice.
SPEAKER_02 (02:58):
Yeah.
We know from all the braintraining that we do here on our
campus that that physicalmovement is regulating.
And so the more physicalmovement that kids can engage
in, the more it helps regulatetheir brain, which leads to not
only the ability to be calm, butit leads to healthy brain
development.
SPEAKER_04 (03:17):
Yeah, well, the human body was designed to move.
Yeah.
And so we're not designed to besitting still for long periods
of time.
And that's just, you know, Idon't know all the science
behind it.
But yeah, you know, when we gooutside, you know, anybody who's
lifted can attest when you liftweights or you do it, yeah, it's
not fun and it kind of hurts orwhatever.
But afterwards, your body thanksyou.
It tells you, hey, I'm I'm goodand you're maybe clearer.
(03:40):
It's just something about anykind of workout you do that,
hey, my your body kind of tellsyou, I like this.
Yeah, we should do this more.
SPEAKER_03 (03:45):
Yeah.
You feel better when you'redone.
It really does release thatfeeling, and there's the science
to back it up that it literallyand releases it to make you feel
better.
SPEAKER_01 (03:53):
And my daughters were high school athletes, and
they they during the school yearand when they were active, they
were always in a better mood.
But over like Christmas breakand stuff like that, a lot of
times they would kind of take iteasy and not work out as much,
and they were always grumpy likeduring those downtimes.
So I I would always encourageyou guys gotta get out and run,
otherwise, this isn't gonna gowell for anyone.
But I think it does regulate usemotionally as well as
(04:15):
physically.
SPEAKER_03 (04:15):
Well, and I think the beauty, I love that you just
said that, Josh, because I wekeep my son in a sport always.
And one of the things I'verealized is it doesn't just get
him moving, it also helps himwork on team building skills.
And you know, right now he's inbasketball, so he's having to
learn how to dribble with bothhis right and his left, even
though he really wants to justuse his right, but it even works
on both sides.
Like, so I just think there's somany benefits to learning
(04:36):
different sports, but also whatit does for their peer
relationships and team building.
And you know, Josh says it best,and it's in he says it in so
many podcasts, but even themgetting advice or learning from
another adult is so powerfultoo.
So just even from coaches' pointof view, they're just being
poured into by others.
SPEAKER_04 (04:52):
I mean, you said it too.
I mean, it it'll increasehand-eye coordination, you know,
some muscle, some musclestrength, just walking or
running around.
So they just can they theirbodies can just move better too.
SPEAKER_01 (05:03):
So, what does a healthy active lifestyle
realistically look like for theaverage family today?
SPEAKER_03 (05:08):
You know, I it's one of those things we talk, we've
talked a lot about, but theywatch everything you do.
And so ironically, I I say thatall the time.
My husband's a firefighter, so alot of times it's not ideal for
me to go to a gym.
So I created a gym in my garage.
And so I currently work out, andthen my kids on Saturdays,
Saturday mornings is my favoritething to get up and work out in
my garage, and I have a coupleof hours, and my daughter will
(05:28):
bring all her toys out there,and then my son will bring all
his, and now we have abasketball goal, so he'll shoot.
So they just play or they willsometimes join in on the
workout.
So I have a bike, an airassault, assault bike, and so
when I get on my bike as part ofthe workout, they'll get on
their bikes and take off downthe street and and and I'll say,
We got 10 more seconds, yougotta stay on.
And so we make it a game and itmakes them part of theirs.
And so I think they are gonnawatch what you do.
(05:50):
If you are active, they want tobe active too.
But even if you're not like,hey, I don't love to work out,
then even just getting outsideand walking while they bike or
doing something active withthem, because when you're
outside, they want to be whereyou're at.
SPEAKER_04 (06:03):
Yeah, I'm not and I don't I don't I don't know what
the average is.
I would um I would imagine thatjust getting out and doing
stuff.
Well, we just said it, you know,the kids like to be around you.
When you got teenagers, wellthen you gotta you gotta put
them in things, or maybe they'realready in athletics and they're
getting what they need out ofthat.
And maybe you're going alongwith them and going to practice.
Uh but it's I'm I'm not reallysure the average.
SPEAKER_03 (06:23):
Um well and I think even like watching them, right?
Like, so one of the things Ididn't say is that Josh's girls
ran with him in that 5K.
And so I thought that was socool to be like, oh man, like
that just gave me hope that likewhen I'm older, will they do an
activity with me like that?
So I but all that to say, evenif we're going to watch them
play a sport or we're going tosupport them, if it is just
riding their bike, they knowwe're near them.
So I think all those things isan average kind of right now, is
(06:46):
that if they're in sports,knowing you're there and
cheering them on is part of thattoo.
SPEAKER_01 (06:49):
Yeah, I think Chaplin Wilhelm said this in an
another podcast that, you know,screens really are one of the
things that take away from theactive lifestyle.
Kids are more drawn to screens.
But what he said, and I think itwas just so powerful that the
reason they're drawn to screensis because we allow them to be
on that, and we're also on ourscreen.
So we have to give themsomething different to be able
to be drawn to.
(07:10):
And if we're active, they'regonna be active.
I love that you said that too,that yeah, passion is
contagious.
If we like it, if we're excitedabout it, they're gonna want to
jump in and follow us.
But if we just let them be on ascreen, they're gonna choose
that as opposed to getting outthere.
SPEAKER_03 (07:21):
Well, and I will say, like, sometimes it's out of
your own comfort level.
I actually don't enjoy ridingbikes, and my husband bought a
bike after my son learned.
He was like, We can go with him.
And my husband was going withhim pretty regularly, and I
remember the first time my sonasked me to do it, I was like, I
don't want to do it.
I don't I haven't ridden a bikein 20 years.
And I got on and did it, but thewhole time I was scared, I was
way behind him, and he wouldjust come back around for me.
(07:41):
And I never, I just I just said,Hey, mom's trying to like kind
of get comfortable again and alittle scared.
I think I told him I was alittle scared, and he's like,
It's all right, mom.
You you remember if you thinkyou can, you can.
It's because I kind of used thelittle engine that could when I
was teaching him.
And so I think that's realitytoo, is sometimes it might be
out of our comfort zone, but ifit's in there, it's trying to
meet them where they're at.
SPEAKER_02 (07:59):
I was never an athlete, but all three of my
daughters were very activeathletes, you know, through high
school and continue to be.
And you know, my youngest playedbasketball for several years,
and I can't get out there andplay basketball with you, but I
can stand under the goal andcatch that ball and throw it
back.
You know, it was just just beingthere, being present and part of
that.
SPEAKER_01 (08:17):
What an amazing part of their childhood memory you
get to be that you're likecornerstone of their right there
with them in all those the goodtimes, the bad times, the rainy
weather, the good we yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (08:26):
Yeah, we always teased our youngest daughter
that we were really grateful shechose an indoor sport in
basketball.
Like we didn't have to sit outin the hot and the cold.
We got a nice air-conditionedgym to sit in.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (08:37):
So how can parents model an active lifestyle in a
way that feels natural ratherthan just forced?
SPEAKER_02 (08:41):
I think exactly what Chloe described is that our kids
are just part of it.
It's just something we see momdo all the time.
It's just part of it.
It seems normal.
It doesn't seem forced.
SPEAKER_03 (08:54):
I have a neighbor that also has a full gym.
She actually has a more of ahome gym than I do.
She has every I'm I'm like sojealous.
But she a lot of times we'll doa workout together and she has
four kids and then my two.
And so they'll be all six aroundus.
But what I think is funny isthat they'll also start cheering
us on when we're getting closeto ending.
But then they also will mightget on her runner while we're
doing it and they're trying tolike take turns running.
(09:15):
And so they really do startincorporating it is part of
their natural with box jumps ordifferent things.
So it's really interesting towatch if it becomes like part of
yours.
One of the things we do have agym membership, and I go every
now and then, and they have awhole like the kids zone has a
whole workout thing for thekids.
And so we always tell them,we're like, okay, you can they
have a screen, obviously.
And so we tell them, like, youhave to play, you can't just
(09:36):
watch your screen, like go watchthe TV.
And so sometimes I come in andthey're literally doing a bike
while I walk in.
So I think they do, they watcheverything you see, and then
also exposing them to differentthings that they can try.
SPEAKER_04 (09:47):
Also, you know, talking about it, hey, we this
is important to me, or this is achange I'm making, and that way
you they at least know whatyou're doing.
Hey, I'm gonna be gone for 10minutes because I'm going on a
little walk.
Things like that, and maybethey'll join you.
SPEAKER_03 (09:58):
You know, I love that you say that because that's
usually what happens to me is ifI say I'm gonna go for a walk,
my kids are like, Yes, I'm goingwith you.
SPEAKER_01 (10:03):
So, what might be some simple fun ways families
can incorporate movement intotheir daily, everyday routines?
SPEAKER_04 (10:09):
I used to love playing tag in the house with my
kids, hide and go seek, andinstead of sitting on the couch,
we're just running around thehouse looking for each other and
things like that.
SPEAKER_02 (10:17):
Just even go into a park, you know, where you can
push them on the swings or onthe merry-go-round, or again,
like Chloe said before, the mostimportant thing is that you're
together, that you're doing itwith them.
SPEAKER_04 (10:28):
One time we played Pokemon Go, and we went down, we
went down Maine and and inAmarillo, and we just started
just chasing the little Pokemonsand stuff, and that just moves
us from point.
And that's kind of the point ofthe game, I believe.
You know.
But we did that for a while as afamily too.
SPEAKER_03 (10:40):
That was really fun.
Yeah, my son plays soccer, and Idid not grow up playing soccer.
My husband did, but then withhis schedule, sometimes I have
to help him do his soccerhomework.
I was like trying to do it withhim, and he's like, Well, and
then so he kind of thought itwas fun because I'm like
learning it with him.
I'm frustrated trying to learnhow to roll the ball with my
foot.
But he thought it wasinteresting that like I was
trying to do it instead of dadthat time.
You know, one time I did go fora run, and my son said, Hey, I'm
(11:02):
gonna go with you, and he ran amile with me, and then he said,
Well, I want to keep going, butI need to go get my bike.
So we ran back to the house, gothis bike, and he biked while I
ran my second mile.
So I think just you know,offering maybe can can they go
with me?
SPEAKER_01 (11:14):
I think oftentimes parenting can feel really,
really hard, but doing all thesethings that you guys were
talking about actually soundsfun.
And I think focusing on thosethings might actually make the
hard times a little bit easierto easier to get through.
SPEAKER_03 (11:25):
Yeah, that's so true.
SPEAKER_01 (11:26):
So, how do we balance organized sports with
the value of unstructured freeplay?
SPEAKER_02 (11:30):
I think that that you can overorganize small
children's lives.
When when my oldest was young,she was in gymnastics for
several years and she was young,let's say five or six, and I was
listening to two other motherssay Monday's ballet and Tuesday
is gymnastics and Wednesday issoccer, Thursday is track, and
Friday is this, and Saturday weand I thought, wow, when do they
(11:53):
play?
You know, I do think their timethat should be set aside for
kids just to use theirimagination and to have free
play where not every moment isorganized.
I think it it develops theircreativity.
SPEAKER_01 (12:05):
Yeah, some of my most favorite memories of my
girls when they were little wastheir free play and just
listening to their imaginationsgo crazy and the silly things
that they would come up with anddo.
But you can't get that if youjust every day is structured and
you have athletic sports goingon every single day.
SPEAKER_02 (12:21):
I think they're both valuable, but there ought to be
some balance.
SPEAKER_03 (12:24):
I I love, yeah.
So I said earlier we always keepmy son in the sport, but we
typically only put him in one ata time.
He's begging me in the spring tolet him do two because his
friends all play baseball and heplays soccer, but he loves
soccer, but he wants to be withhis friends too.
And so I said we have to talkabout it.
But I do think that I like themto have free play.
My daughter cracks me up, sheplays office.
I've probably said that before.
She gets a tablet out, she getsa phone out, and she talks to HR
(12:46):
all the time.
I don't know if she tells them.
She also frequently talks aboutyou and my my my co-workers a
lot, and so it makes me laugh.
That's her free play, is thatshe plays like mini office and
and mom, she plays with herbabies.
Yeah, it's role modeling.
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (13:01):
I think also there's you know, when you're in
organized sports, there's anadult in charge.
Uh the the most fun times I everhad as a kid was the kids are in
charge.
You know, obviously, well,there's no we we weren't very
supervised in that we were ableto run the neighborhood and play
soldiers or play whatever.
And you know, it's it's a coolway for them to learn how to
cooperate, uh, a cool way foryou know to pretend you said
(13:21):
imagination and creativity andexploring.
It's just there's just suchvalue to kids being in charge of
their own little, you know, timeto play.
SPEAKER_03 (13:29):
I love that.
Like we my son will creategames.
He'll say, Okay, we're gonnaplay this dinosaur game.
And like he'll say, Mom, you'rethis type, or you get to pick,
and like we don't really knowwhat he's wanting, he just wants
us to battle in his room.
But he like gets to be in chargeof how we play the game, um, and
it makes him the most excited.
SPEAKER_01 (13:45):
So, how can parents encourage children who are shy,
anxious, or not naturallyathletic to still enjoy being
active?
That was me.
SPEAKER_04 (13:53):
I was a very shy, anxious, not I don't know if I
was anxious, but I was not anathletic kid.
I grew up around other kids whowere just way more, and I had no
interest.
I was more of a think tank, doit.
But then, you know, my momencouraged me to go outside and
make friends, and I made otherfriends, and turns out, you
know, I really like playingoutside, and you know, we got
into sports as as a group ofkids and as teenagers, and I
(14:13):
don't know.
I mean, think my mom justsaying, Hey, you gotta get out
there.
SPEAKER_02 (14:16):
Yeah, I think you encourage your kids to try a lot
of different things.
You know, my oldest immediatelyfound something that she was
interested in, which wasgymnastics.
But like my my middle daughtertried gymnastics for a little
while and and then taekwondo,and then it was some you know,
then it was so it took herlonger to find something she
really enjoyed, but I just keptencouraging her to try something
(14:38):
different.
And you know, there sometimesthe the barrier is that sports
can be really expensive.
You know, and so gettinginvolved in activities that are,
you know, just communityactivities, they're again go to
the park, playing games withneighborhood kids, it doesn't
necessarily have to be a sportthat you pay for and buy
(14:59):
equipment for.
SPEAKER_03 (15:00):
Well, I love that.
Like, even because cause evenbeing active, you can be
outside.
So one of my son's favoriteactivities used to be just
getting his dump trucks andgetting near a pile of dirt and
like scooping it like he was orgiving him like a spoon or
something, and he was likedumping it back and forth.
And so it even getting themoutside, I know that's what
Wilhelm said in that one, isreally powerful too, even if
it's not necessarily like movingtheir bodies, but they're still
(15:22):
outside, they're getting achange of scenery.
And so I think that's powerful.
I also have some friends whothey have a kid that's very shy
and and just like this, not veryathletic, but they put him in
it's this kid strong thing thatthey have in Emerlo, but all
essentially what it is is itworks on agility and movement.
And what they were telling me islike, hey, he doesn't naturally
come by it, but he's loving thisbecause like he's in a group
(15:42):
class and then they're kind oflike all like at different
levels, but he and then he earnslike as he develops skill, he
gets like a new little notch.
And so I think that was coolbecause he hadn't been anything
and he's like 12 and he's likedoing that now.
And so I think it's like whatyou said, Suzanne, trying
different things, and maybesomething sticks.
You never quite know.
You won't know till you let himtry it.
And sometimes it does take alittle push, I think.
SPEAKER_04 (16:05):
I also think the adults being involved is
important.
One of my favorite memories uhas a kid was my one of my best
friend's uncles.
They would come every now andthen, the the two uncles, they
were and they would want to playfootball with all the all the
like young kids.
And there was me who wasn't verygood, but each of the uncles
would take a team, and they youknow, we were gonna we're gonna
play touch football.
And I remember him moving hisfinger along his hand.
(16:25):
This is the plan, Sammy.
You're gonna move here, you'regonna go there, and you're gonna
go and you're gonna cross.
And they're teaching us, right?
And they're the quarterbacksbecause they can throw the ball
and they can hand off and theywould block for us or pick us
up.
You know, all that that coolcontact, you know, that we had
with them is one of my favoritememories of learning how to play
a sport.
And I think that's reallyimportant for the kid because
there's there's an adultinvolved.
SPEAKER_02 (16:44):
One of Cal Farley's sayings was, I'm probably gonna
bitch of this, but basically,there's no fun in hitting a home
run if there's nobody there tocheer for you.
So again, that that parentalinvolvement, grandparents,
aunts, uncles, neighbors,whoever that is, you know, needs
to be there encouraging.
It it doesn't have the sameeffect if you drop them off and
aren't there, you know, to cheerthem on.
(17:06):
So really important to beinvolved.
SPEAKER_01 (17:08):
So in a screen heavy world, what practical strategies
can help kids choose movementover passive entertainment?
SPEAKER_02 (17:14):
You know, those connections with other people
are way more rewarding to yourbrain, even than a screen.
So if they're buildingfriendships with with kids on
the team, if they've got a coachwho gives positive feedback, or
you know, like for Sam, those,you know, the uncles of a friend
that showed up, like that wasimportant to him.
They knew him by name, theycalled him, you know, they they
(17:36):
they encouraged him.
Those those things are way morepowerful, but it also takes more
time and effort on the part ofadults.
The easiest thing to do is giveyour kid a screen.
And they and they go in theirroom and and they're not
bothering you, right?
But it takes a lot more effortto get them involved in some
some activity, and that's that'sreally on us as adults.
SPEAKER_03 (17:58):
One of the things that has been interesting, my
husband coached my son's soccerteam last spring.
He didn't get to coach this fallbecause he was working too much
of it.
But I so I had to be hisassistant coach, and I was the
most nervous.
I was like, You're gonna begone, and I'm gonna be.
But I did have to do a couple ofpractices and I researched and I
wrote a whole plan out, but allthat.
Of course she did, Chloe.
And it was so stressful for me.
(18:18):
But I remember thinking it waslike Leighton's favorite time.
He was like, My parents are thecoach, and I thought he was
gonna hate it.
And and all this year, he'slike, Dad, when are you gonna
coach me again?
And so all that to say is it wasinteresting to me how much that
meant to him.
So maybe that is a strategy.
It is more work, and maybe notall the time, but I learned
something about myself that Icould do it, and I was brave.
And and honestly, it made mykids world.
(18:39):
And so maybe that is maybe youcoach one time, even if it's
something simple.
And so I think that's a strategyyou could try to.
SPEAKER_04 (18:46):
Yeah, I mean, there's a then there's the
obvious stuff, put limits onscreen times or combine it,
right?
There are apps that get peoplemoving, or maybe that or maybe
they hey put turn on your timer,go for a walk.
You can still have it, but don'tbe looking at your screen, you
gotta walk so you can put thiswhere you go.
Whatever it is, right?
Maybe there's a way to combinesome activity with the device.
SPEAKER_02 (19:05):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (19:05):
Or, you know, we gotta do this before we get the
device.
I mean, if that's important toyou, find a way to to do to do
it.
SPEAKER_01 (19:12):
So, what might be some of the most common barriers
that prevent families fromstaying active and how can they
overcome them?
SPEAKER_02 (19:17):
It's busyness, right?
We're too, we're too busy.
We let other things takepriority.
I think physical activity is oneof the things you have to look
at with a long-term view, right?
In five years and ten years,physical activity will have
served me very well.
Whereas screen timers sitting inwatching a show may not, you
know, how is that gonna serve mewell in the long term?
(19:39):
It might be it might seem to bemore entertaining, but but we
have to make it a priority.
SPEAKER_04 (19:43):
I said this in a previous podcast, and I'm gonna
say it again.
When you get on screens or theyyou play video games on,
especially on your phones, thosethings are heavily marketed and
targeted to keep you on them.
SPEAKER_05 (19:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (19:54):
Suzanne had mentioned about a farm game or
whatever.
Hey, yeah, it's because theyhave these little things and
timers.
And you can check in in an hourand you got to check in.
So it it essentially sucks yourentire time.
And your brain says, This ismore fun.
Let's also be real.
Working out hurts.
Like it can hurt.
Like it's not, it's it'suncomfortable.
If you gotta go outside becauseyou don't have space in your
house, you gotta get outside todo this stuff.
You know, the weather could bebad.
(20:16):
The you know, there could bedogs that chase you down the
neighborhood.
I mean, look, listen, I grew uphard, right?
There's there's these thingsthat these barriers, right?
They're a little sometimesthey're self-imposed.
It's just easier to do this.
SPEAKER_05 (20:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (20:28):
I I can't because of X, you know.
But you know, Chloe said, Ibuilt a gym.
If you have a little bit ofspace, there's a way to do it.
I found a website that the guysaid, Hey, just do it on your
couch and you can do some armpulls with a gallon of milk, or
or have these little objectsaround the house, lift your
chairs, or and you can dosomething that stay active.
So now that I'm into kind ofextreme fitness currently, but
40-some days ago, that wasn'ttrue.
(20:50):
And you know, I like to sitaround and watch TV.
I've been the heaviest I everam.
I'm miserable, right?
And the barrier became, hey,okay, I I realize I got a
problem.
I need to eat better, I need to,but I need to exercise too.
But I couldn't walk.
Like I I I would get out fromone room and I'm limping, my
feet are hurting.
I I run the chains for footballgames.
I remember we went long enough.
I couldn't even like I washurting, just moving down the
(21:13):
field, and I'm like, oh my gosh.
So then I started this programand I get I gotta I gotta go
outside every day.
So I start walking.
Boy boy, does it hurt.
I come inside, and I'm notwalking fast.
I'm talking in in 45 minutes,I'm not even doing two miles,
right?
I'm I'm walking slow and I comeinside and I'm in so much pain,
so I want to quit.
But my wife's doing it with metoo, so I have a little bit of
motivation.
But here's one thing I noticedin about two weeks, that kind of
(21:35):
stopped.
My body seems to have loosenedup.
I can move.
I ran yesterday a little bit,not long, but it's because I
said earlier, our bodies aredesigned to move.
When we sit, we're you're goingto tell your body, oh, this is
what I have to do.
What you program your body to dois what it's gonna do.
Like Chloe gets a lot of valueout of moving and lifting.
Her body tells her that's whatI'm doing, and it's built to do
(21:57):
it now.
Me sitting around for all thosemonths, I did told my body, oh,
we're not moving.
This is where I'm safe.
I also have read articles thatsay you your body doesn't want
to move.
You want to conserve energy atall times.
That's why our brains fight us.
Your brain is your worst enemy.
It loves it when you do it.
The motivation to do it is nevergonna come for free.
You have to earn that and havesome discipline because you
(22:18):
we're built biologically toconserve energy.
Because, right, we had to go inbursts, chase the food, and get
the food, and then I could Imight not have food for a few
days and I gotta chase the food,right?
So these are just things I'veread off the internet and
podcasts I hear and things likethat as well.
Of course, this is the bestpodcast.
It is but um, but uh nice but Ijust I just thought I wanted to
say that because my body justfeels better now.
(22:39):
And now I yeah, exercise stillain't fun.
I want to do other stuff with my45 minutes.
I got I've gotten tons of valueand and health out of it.
SPEAKER_03 (22:46):
One of the things I also think that you can do to
overcome is kind of like whatSam said is have an
accountability person.
One of my favorite things is Ihave a friend that's kind of
gotten into fitness and similarto what Sam's saying, like she
hadn't really before.
She doesn't really know how tolift or anything, but I have
been really busy with work andlife.
And and so we made a pack aboutthree months ago that we're
gonna meet each other at the gymonce a week.
(23:06):
And we're alternate who teaches.
So we each learn from eachother, right?
And so she loves when it's myweek because she hasn't really
ever grown up lifting a lot ofher lifts.
She's learned from her husbandand things.
And so I meet her once a week,and and it for me, it fills up
my cup on friendship.
Like I need that every week.
But for her, it's like atwofold.
Like, and I enjoy it, it's goodfor me to get my workout in, but
(23:26):
it is a twofold for her becauseshe's like, I've never done that
exercise and I'm not afraid totry it because you teach me and
we learn through it.
And so I think finding anaccountability partner can also
help that barrier of of thewant, right?
Like doing it with somebody doesmake a difference.
SPEAKER_01 (23:40):
So for single parents or families with intense
schedules, what are somerealistic low pressure ways to
stay active together?
SPEAKER_03 (23:47):
You know, I have a good friend who her kids both
now bike, and I and she bought abike and she bikes with them.
So I think, and she's a singleparent.
So I think that that was an easyway for them and and she would
do walks as well.
And so I think sometimes it'sjust the simple things getting
outside and moving a little bitas a family.
SPEAKER_02 (24:03):
You know, you can find almost anything on YouTube,
including free videos forworkouts that you could do in
the home or yoga or stretchingor you know, any of those things
are available.
And again, if the parents aredoing it, the kids are likely to
want to jump in with them.
SPEAKER_01 (24:20):
So, how can families stay consistent with activity
during busy seasons, badweather, or just life
transitions?
SPEAKER_04 (24:26):
Well, have a backup plan, right?
You know, when uh well I don'tget I don't currently get an
option, but there's times youyou have to adjust my days,
right?
I can't you know, the I can't docrazy, I can't go get struck by
lightning or or come out in ahail storm, right?
You you have to have a backupplan.
So if my plan was to walk today,maybe there's a place I can
walk.
You know, oftentimes malls areopen and they let you just walk
in there, you know.
There's just tons of things youyou just have to have a backup
(24:47):
plan.
And most of all, you you gottayou gotta decide that this is
what I need to do today.
And guys, it doesn't have to belong.
No, it doesn't have to be 45minutes, it it can 15, 20
minutes.
Get get out there and do alittle something.
SPEAKER_03 (24:58):
Well, I think you said it earlier, like playing
tag in the house or even simplethings.
I have a walking pad.
I don't honestly, I kind ofstopped getting it out because
my kids are so obsessed with thenatural meats because they
wanted to get on the walking padtoo, and then I was afraid they
were gonna face plant becausethey would just keep turning on
the highest level.
But ironically to say, they dothink my walking pad is the
coolest thing in the world.
And so I think what's ironicabout that is you can find
(25:20):
something they enjoy.
But the videos, like whatSuzanne was saying, I have put
on little kid workouts for mykids and they think they're the
coolest thing.
SPEAKER_04 (25:26):
I don't even really had those.
SPEAKER_03 (25:27):
They do, they have kid workouts on YouTube for
free.
SPEAKER_04 (25:30):
Do it with your kids.
SPEAKER_03 (25:31):
They'll like you can even be like a Sonic versus
Godzilla, and so they pick ateam and you have to do what it
says, and then you see who winsat the end.
SPEAKER_04 (25:37):
Oh, wow.
It's way cool.
But I want to add something tothis, you know, because we're
talking about busy seasons, badweather, and life transition.
Those things are very stressful.
I mean, bad weather could do alot of things.
That's that's something we dealwith.
But the other two are reallyhigh stress.
So the exercise helps yourelease that stress, right?
And it releases for your kids aswell, because they're going
through it too if you are.
SPEAKER_03 (25:57):
Well, and I said this all the time, but usually
people who are close to me, if Ihaven't been consistent in my
workout that week, they canusually tell because it does
affect me too.
And so I think it is important.
But I also want to say don'tever beat yourself up because
there's been times where I onlygot like three workouts a week,
which is hard for me.
I want to work out every day.
But I'm also like, well, I whatelse did I accomplish today?
Did I get to put my kids down tobed?
(26:18):
Did I get to do all these thingson my to-do list?
And so just saying just becauseI didn't get to do it two days
in a row doesn't mean I don't gotomorrow, right?
So just not beating yourself upwhen you can't be consistent.
SPEAKER_01 (26:27):
So if a family wants to be more active but feels
overwhelmed, what's one smallmanageable step that they can
take this week to get started?
SPEAKER_04 (26:33):
Go for a walk.
SPEAKER_03 (26:34):
That's what I was gonna say.
SPEAKER_04 (26:35):
Sounds like a pun, right?
A manageable step.
You know, set a small goal.
One thing about humans is we welike goals and we we work better
when we have some kind ofaccountability.
Yeah, get out there and dosomething small.
Doesn't have to be intense.
And Chloe said this earlier, andand people who know me know,
hey, I'm all or nothing, right?
I failed, I'm I'm not doing itno more, all right?
Whatever.
Hey, don't don't do that.
Just do it.
(26:55):
You know, do do make a smallgoal for yourself.
Something realistic, somethingyou can do, and have a backup
plan for it.
And just do, I would say, a10-minute walk.
SPEAKER_03 (27:02):
One of the things I I think is so powerful is I
recently read really 30 minutesis fine.
Like, so every we have it in ourhead, it has to be this long
thing.
But I read like even a 30-minutelift session is so good.
Like that's all you really need.
And then you can follow it upwith a 20-minute walk, and
that's all you need every day.
You don't need hours upon hours.
But one of the things I wasgonna say, small step, one of
the things I do with my kidspretty frequently is they love
(27:23):
to go check the mail.
What's a quarter mile there, andthen it's another quarter mile
back.
And so we do that.
Like, and they think it's thefunnest thing because they're
checking the mail, but we'realso moving.
SPEAKER_01 (27:31):
I think starting small is so important.
You're not gonna go out and runa marathon if you haven't done
it, you know, haven't gone for awalk or but starting small is so
important.
Having accountability partner, Iremember in that's probably my
mid-30s, I hadn't been doinganything for a long time, and
Sam actually helped me out doingcouch to a 5K thing basically.
And he really just every dayhelped me with little, little
things and got a little bitbetter, a little bit better, a
(27:53):
little bit better, and beforetoo long I I mastered that 5k.
SPEAKER_04 (27:56):
So that's one of my favorite memories of us, Josh,
is that that run.
Remember, we ran by that signthat said slow, and I said, It's
lying.
We gotta keep going.
We're going fast, man.
Yeah, that was fun.
Yeah, having a friend, gettingout there and being active, real
fun.
SPEAKER_03 (28:10):
I love that.
So again, that same 5k that Joshand I ran recently.
What I was finding interestingis one of my really good friends
did it, and she, two of my goodfriends did it, but one of the
ones I we run all the timetogether.
And the other one had never donea 5k and actually had only been
ran two miles, is the most shehad done before that race.
And she said, I don't want youto wait on me.
But and I said, Riley, you gotit.
I told her I was like, you cando this.
(28:31):
It doesn't matter when youfinish, but you can do this.
And you would have been amazedat how much she lit up at the
end of that race.
And she was like, I was furtherbehind you, but I was there.
I said, But you did it and youwere worried you couldn't do it.
And so you just never know whatyou're capable of.
So don't be afraid to try it.
SPEAKER_04 (28:45):
I got a fun challenge for for listeners.
Wherever your nearest city is,find the local turkey trot and
sign up for that thing.
It is probably one of the mostfun events I've ever done.
Even if you can't run it, youcan walk.
Sometimes they have different itdoesn't have to be a 5k, just
depends on where you go.
But some of my most funmemories, in fact, that's what
me and Josh were training forthat year was the turkey trot.
So we ran the turkey trot, well,kind of together.
(29:06):
And I ran later on, I ran aChristmas run.
No, I ran a chur turkey trot inSt.
Louis when my son lived there.
So fun, you run through sixflags.
You know, so there's these, theythey set them up, they're
professional, they're they'refun.
But get out there, make thatmake that your goal.
SPEAKER_01 (29:19):
All right, thank you for joining us today.
I hope this episode has inspiredyou to be more active with your
family.
And maybe because you're soinspired, you'll jump up right
now and go for a walk or over toa friend's house and tell them
that they should also startlistening to Brain-based
parenting.
Or perhaps you're so motivatedright now that you should just
get out of your chair, do fivejumping jacks, but then give the
podcast a five-star review.
As always, remember, you mighthave to loan out your cortex
(29:41):
today.
Just make sure you get it back.
SPEAKER_00 (29:43):
Thank you for listening to Brain-Based
Parenting.
We hope you enjoyed this show.
If you would like moreinformation about Cal Farley's
Boys Ranch, are interested inemployment, would like
information about placing yourchild, or would like to help us
help children by donating to ourmission, please visit
calfarley.org.
You can find us on all socialmedia platforms by searching for
(30:06):
Cal Farley's.
Thank you for spending your timewith us and have a blessed day.
Welcome to Brain-Based Parenting, the Boys
Ranch podcast for families.
We all know how hard being aparent is, and sometimes it
feels like there are no goodanswers to the difficult
questions families have whentheir kids are struggling.
Our goal each week will be totry and answer some of those
tough questions, utilizing theknowledge, experience, and
(00:21):
professional training CalFarley's Boys Ranch has to
offer.
Now here is your host, CalFarley Staff Development
Coordinator, Joshua Sprock.
SPEAKER_01 (00:30):
Hello and welcome.
Today we're going to talk abouthow we can best create healthy
environments for our families bybecoming more active.
SPEAKER_02 (00:35):
To do that, today I'm again joined by Suzanne
Wright, Vice President ofTraining and Intervention.
Chloe Hewitt, Youth ProgramsAdministrator.
SPEAKER_04 (00:43):
Sam Cerna, Assistant Administrator of Residential
Communities.
SPEAKER_01 (00:46):
All right, let's kick off our discussion by being
active by jumping into ourquestion of the day.
So, how would you rate yourcurrent physical activity level
and what is your favorite activeoutdoor activity?
SPEAKER_02 (00:56):
I'm gonna say that my current activity level is
fairly low.
It's just like anything else,it's a habit, and I have gotten
out of the habit.
And my favorite outdoor activityis walking.
SPEAKER_03 (01:06):
I guess how would I rate?
I guess good.
I love to be very good.
Very good.
I love to be active.
So my favorite outdoor activityis probably if it's an activity,
it's running.
But it actually, what myfavorite activity would be is to
do a workout outside is one ofmy favorite things to do in the
sunshine.
SPEAKER_04 (01:25):
My current activity level is extreme.
And if you know, you know.
But I'm doing two workouts aday, 45 minutes each, and one of
them has to be outside.
My most common workout activityoutside is walking, which I
hate.
But really, what I like doing, Ibought this thing.
Well, I bought a I bought aworkout device and it's it uses
bands, and I like to be outsidein my backyard, even at night by
(01:46):
a fire, and I'll do lifting inmy backyard.
So that's my current favoriteoutdoor activity.
Josh?
SPEAKER_01 (01:50):
I'd say I'm mid.
I am somewhat active, not asmuch as I used to be.
I would say my favorite ishiking.
And Suzanne, you sell yourselfshort.
Last year, you and I hiked tothe top of uh Diamondback, which
is not an easy hike, and we didthat pretty good, I'd say.
SPEAKER_02 (02:04):
That's true.
That's true.
SPEAKER_03 (02:05):
Yeah, and I also Josh and I just ran a 5K like
not that long ago.
He was we didn't even know wewere both doing it, and then we
saw each other at the beginning.
SPEAKER_01 (02:13):
So well, I would say yes, we saw each other at the
beginning, and then you passedme, and then we've been see each
other for a long, long time.
All right, so why is physicalactivity so essential to
children's physical, emotional,and brain development?
SPEAKER_03 (02:28):
You know, I think they thrive better when they are
active, right?
And we know that they need to dobig movement.
And so, and I honestly wouldventure to say it's not even
necessarily children.
I think we as adults are betterif we are doing a physical
activity regularly.
And then I recently heard, itwas funny, I was sitting this
week, my daughter had a programwe were sitting across from some
other parents, and they saidtheir pediatrician told them to
(02:50):
get their son out every day torun just a little bit, and so to
run with your son every day.
And so I thought that wasinteresting.
Even pediatricians are nowgiving that advice.
SPEAKER_02 (02:58):
Yeah.
We know from all the braintraining that we do here on our
campus that that physicalmovement is regulating.
And so the more physicalmovement that kids can engage
in, the more it helps regulatetheir brain, which leads to not
only the ability to be calm, butit leads to healthy brain
development.
SPEAKER_04 (03:17):
Yeah, well, the human body was designed to move.
Yeah.
And so we're not designed to besitting still for long periods
of time.
And that's just, you know, Idon't know all the science
behind it.
But yeah, you know, when we gooutside, you know, anybody who's
lifted can attest when you liftweights or you do it, yeah, it's
not fun and it kind of hurts orwhatever.
But afterwards, your body thanksyou.
It tells you, hey, I'm I'm goodand you're maybe clearer.
(03:40):
It's just something about anykind of workout you do that,
hey, my your body kind of tellsyou, I like this.
Yeah, we should do this more.
SPEAKER_03 (03:45):
Yeah.
You feel better when you'redone.
It really does release thatfeeling, and there's the science
to back it up that it literallyand releases it to make you feel
better.
SPEAKER_01 (03:53):
And my daughters were high school athletes, and
they they during the school yearand when they were active, they
were always in a better mood.
But over like Christmas breakand stuff like that, a lot of
times they would kind of take iteasy and not work out as much,
and they were always grumpy likeduring those downtimes.
So I I would always encourageyou guys gotta get out and run,
otherwise, this isn't gonna gowell for anyone.
But I think it does regulate usemotionally as well as
(04:15):
physically.
SPEAKER_03 (04:15):
Well, and I think the beauty, I love that you just
said that, Josh, because I wekeep my son in a sport always.
And one of the things I'verealized is it doesn't just get
him moving, it also helps himwork on team building skills.
And you know, right now he's inbasketball, so he's having to
learn how to dribble with bothhis right and his left, even
though he really wants to justuse his right, but it even works
on both sides.
Like, so I just think there's somany benefits to learning
(04:36):
different sports, but also whatit does for their peer
relationships and team building.
And you know, Josh says it best,and it's in he says it in so
many podcasts, but even themgetting advice or learning from
another adult is so powerfultoo.
So just even from coaches' pointof view, they're just being
poured into by others.
SPEAKER_04 (04:52):
I mean, you said it too.
I mean, it it'll increasehand-eye coordination, you know,
some muscle, some musclestrength, just walking or
running around.
So they just can they theirbodies can just move better too.
SPEAKER_01 (05:03):
So, what does a healthy active lifestyle
realistically look like for theaverage family today?
SPEAKER_03 (05:08):
You know, I it's one of those things we talk, we've
talked a lot about, but theywatch everything you do.
And so ironically, I I say thatall the time.
My husband's a firefighter, so alot of times it's not ideal for
me to go to a gym.
So I created a gym in my garage.
And so I currently work out, andthen my kids on Saturdays,
Saturday mornings is my favoritething to get up and work out in
my garage, and I have a coupleof hours, and my daughter will
(05:28):
bring all her toys out there,and then my son will bring all
his, and now we have abasketball goal, so he'll shoot.
So they just play or they willsometimes join in on the
workout.
So I have a bike, an airassault, assault bike, and so
when I get on my bike as part ofthe workout, they'll get on
their bikes and take off downthe street and and and I'll say,
We got 10 more seconds, yougotta stay on.
And so we make it a game and itmakes them part of theirs.
And so I think they are gonnawatch what you do.
(05:50):
If you are active, they want tobe active too.
But even if you're not like,hey, I don't love to work out,
then even just getting outsideand walking while they bike or
doing something active withthem, because when you're
outside, they want to be whereyou're at.
SPEAKER_04 (06:03):
Yeah, I'm not and I don't I don't I don't know what
the average is.
I would um I would imagine thatjust getting out and doing
stuff.
Well, we just said it, you know,the kids like to be around you.
When you got teenagers, wellthen you gotta you gotta put
them in things, or maybe they'realready in athletics and they're
getting what they need out ofthat.
And maybe you're going alongwith them and going to practice.
Uh but it's I'm I'm not reallysure the average.
SPEAKER_03 (06:23):
Um well and I think even like watching them, right?
Like, so one of the things Ididn't say is that Josh's girls
ran with him in that 5K.
And so I thought that was socool to be like, oh man, like
that just gave me hope that likewhen I'm older, will they do an
activity with me like that?
So I but all that to say, evenif we're going to watch them
play a sport or we're going tosupport them, if it is just
riding their bike, they knowwe're near them.
So I think all those things isan average kind of right now, is
(06:46):
that if they're in sports,knowing you're there and
cheering them on is part of thattoo.
SPEAKER_01 (06:49):
Yeah, I think Chaplin Wilhelm said this in an
another podcast that, you know,screens really are one of the
things that take away from theactive lifestyle.
Kids are more drawn to screens.
But what he said, and I think itwas just so powerful that the
reason they're drawn to screensis because we allow them to be
on that, and we're also on ourscreen.
So we have to give themsomething different to be able
to be drawn to.
(07:10):
And if we're active, they'regonna be active.
I love that you said that too,that yeah, passion is
contagious.
If we like it, if we're excitedabout it, they're gonna want to
jump in and follow us.
But if we just let them be on ascreen, they're gonna choose
that as opposed to getting outthere.
SPEAKER_03 (07:21):
Well, and I will say, like, sometimes it's out of
your own comfort level.
I actually don't enjoy ridingbikes, and my husband bought a
bike after my son learned.
He was like, We can go with him.
And my husband was going withhim pretty regularly, and I
remember the first time my sonasked me to do it, I was like, I
don't want to do it.
I don't I haven't ridden a bikein 20 years.
And I got on and did it, but thewhole time I was scared, I was
way behind him, and he wouldjust come back around for me.
(07:41):
And I never, I just I just said,Hey, mom's trying to like kind
of get comfortable again and alittle scared.
I think I told him I was alittle scared, and he's like,
It's all right, mom.
You you remember if you thinkyou can, you can.
It's because I kind of used thelittle engine that could when I
was teaching him.
And so I think that's realitytoo, is sometimes it might be
out of our comfort zone, but ifit's in there, it's trying to
meet them where they're at.
SPEAKER_02 (07:59):
I was never an athlete, but all three of my
daughters were very activeathletes, you know, through high
school and continue to be.
And you know, my youngest playedbasketball for several years,
and I can't get out there andplay basketball with you, but I
can stand under the goal andcatch that ball and throw it
back.
You know, it was just just beingthere, being present and part of
that.
SPEAKER_01 (08:17):
What an amazing part of their childhood memory you
get to be that you're likecornerstone of their right there
with them in all those the goodtimes, the bad times, the rainy
weather, the good we yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (08:26):
Yeah, we always teased our youngest daughter
that we were really grateful shechose an indoor sport in
basketball.
Like we didn't have to sit outin the hot and the cold.
We got a nice air-conditionedgym to sit in.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (08:37):
So how can parents model an active lifestyle in a
way that feels natural ratherthan just forced?
SPEAKER_02 (08:41):
I think exactly what Chloe described is that our kids
are just part of it.
It's just something we see momdo all the time.
It's just part of it.
It seems normal.
It doesn't seem forced.
SPEAKER_03 (08:54):
I have a neighbor that also has a full gym.
She actually has a more of ahome gym than I do.
She has every I'm I'm like sojealous.
But she a lot of times we'll doa workout together and she has
four kids and then my two.
And so they'll be all six aroundus.
But what I think is funny isthat they'll also start cheering
us on when we're getting closeto ending.
But then they also will mightget on her runner while we're
doing it and they're trying tolike take turns running.
(09:15):
And so they really do startincorporating it is part of
their natural with box jumps ordifferent things.
So it's really interesting towatch if it becomes like part of
yours.
One of the things we do have agym membership, and I go every
now and then, and they have awhole like the kids zone has a
whole workout thing for thekids.
And so we always tell them,we're like, okay, you can they
have a screen, obviously.
And so we tell them, like, youhave to play, you can't just
(09:36):
watch your screen, like go watchthe TV.
And so sometimes I come in andthey're literally doing a bike
while I walk in.
So I think they do, they watcheverything you see, and then
also exposing them to differentthings that they can try.
SPEAKER_04 (09:47):
Also, you know, talking about it, hey, we this
is important to me, or this is achange I'm making, and that way
you they at least know whatyou're doing.
Hey, I'm gonna be gone for 10minutes because I'm going on a
little walk.
Things like that, and maybethey'll join you.
SPEAKER_03 (09:58):
You know, I love that you say that because that's
usually what happens to me is ifI say I'm gonna go for a walk,
my kids are like, Yes, I'm goingwith you.
SPEAKER_01 (10:03):
So, what might be some simple fun ways families
can incorporate movement intotheir daily, everyday routines?
SPEAKER_04 (10:09):
I used to love playing tag in the house with my
kids, hide and go seek, andinstead of sitting on the couch,
we're just running around thehouse looking for each other and
things like that.
SPEAKER_02 (10:17):
Just even go into a park, you know, where you can
push them on the swings or onthe merry-go-round, or again,
like Chloe said before, the mostimportant thing is that you're
together, that you're doing itwith them.
SPEAKER_04 (10:28):
One time we played Pokemon Go, and we went down, we
went down Maine and and inAmarillo, and we just started
just chasing the little Pokemonsand stuff, and that just moves
us from point.
And that's kind of the point ofthe game, I believe.
You know.
But we did that for a while as afamily too.
SPEAKER_03 (10:40):
That was really fun.
Yeah, my son plays soccer, and Idid not grow up playing soccer.
My husband did, but then withhis schedule, sometimes I have
to help him do his soccerhomework.
I was like trying to do it withhim, and he's like, Well, and
then so he kind of thought itwas fun because I'm like
learning it with him.
I'm frustrated trying to learnhow to roll the ball with my
foot.
But he thought it wasinteresting that like I was
trying to do it instead of dadthat time.
You know, one time I did go fora run, and my son said, Hey, I'm
(11:02):
gonna go with you, and he ran amile with me, and then he said,
Well, I want to keep going, butI need to go get my bike.
So we ran back to the house, gothis bike, and he biked while I
ran my second mile.
So I think just you know,offering maybe can can they go
with me?
SPEAKER_01 (11:14):
I think oftentimes parenting can feel really,
really hard, but doing all thesethings that you guys were
talking about actually soundsfun.
And I think focusing on thosethings might actually make the
hard times a little bit easierto easier to get through.
SPEAKER_03 (11:25):
Yeah, that's so true.
SPEAKER_01 (11:26):
So, how do we balance organized sports with
the value of unstructured freeplay?
SPEAKER_02 (11:30):
I think that that you can overorganize small
children's lives.
When when my oldest was young,she was in gymnastics for
several years and she was young,let's say five or six, and I was
listening to two other motherssay Monday's ballet and Tuesday
is gymnastics and Wednesday issoccer, Thursday is track, and
Friday is this, and Saturday weand I thought, wow, when do they
(11:53):
play?
You know, I do think their timethat should be set aside for
kids just to use theirimagination and to have free
play where not every moment isorganized.
I think it it develops theircreativity.
SPEAKER_01 (12:05):
Yeah, some of my most favorite memories of my
girls when they were little wastheir free play and just
listening to their imaginationsgo crazy and the silly things
that they would come up with anddo.
But you can't get that if youjust every day is structured and
you have athletic sports goingon every single day.
SPEAKER_02 (12:21):
I think they're both valuable, but there ought to be
some balance.
SPEAKER_03 (12:24):
I I love, yeah.
So I said earlier we always keepmy son in the sport, but we
typically only put him in one ata time.
He's begging me in the spring tolet him do two because his
friends all play baseball and heplays soccer, but he loves
soccer, but he wants to be withhis friends too.
And so I said we have to talkabout it.
But I do think that I like themto have free play.
My daughter cracks me up, sheplays office.
I've probably said that before.
She gets a tablet out, she getsa phone out, and she talks to HR
(12:46):
all the time.
I don't know if she tells them.
She also frequently talks aboutyou and my my my co-workers a
lot, and so it makes me laugh.
That's her free play, is thatshe plays like mini office and
and mom, she plays with herbabies.
Yeah, it's role modeling.
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (13:01):
I think also there's you know, when you're in
organized sports, there's anadult in charge.
Uh the the most fun times I everhad as a kid was the kids are in
charge.
You know, obviously, well,there's no we we weren't very
supervised in that we were ableto run the neighborhood and play
soldiers or play whatever.
And you know, it's it's a coolway for them to learn how to
cooperate, uh, a cool way foryou know to pretend you said
(13:21):
imagination and creativity andexploring.
It's just there's just suchvalue to kids being in charge of
their own little, you know, timeto play.
SPEAKER_03 (13:29):
I love that.
Like we my son will creategames.
He'll say, Okay, we're gonnaplay this dinosaur game.
And like he'll say, Mom, you'rethis type, or you get to pick,
and like we don't really knowwhat he's wanting, he just wants
us to battle in his room.
But he like gets to be in chargeof how we play the game, um, and
it makes him the most excited.
SPEAKER_01 (13:45):
So, how can parents encourage children who are shy,
anxious, or not naturallyathletic to still enjoy being
active?
That was me.
SPEAKER_04 (13:53):
I was a very shy, anxious, not I don't know if I
was anxious, but I was not anathletic kid.
I grew up around other kids whowere just way more, and I had no
interest.
I was more of a think tank, doit.
But then, you know, my momencouraged me to go outside and
make friends, and I made otherfriends, and turns out, you
know, I really like playingoutside, and you know, we got
into sports as as a group ofkids and as teenagers, and I
(14:13):
don't know.
I mean, think my mom justsaying, Hey, you gotta get out
there.
SPEAKER_02 (14:16):
Yeah, I think you encourage your kids to try a lot
of different things.
You know, my oldest immediatelyfound something that she was
interested in, which wasgymnastics.
But like my my middle daughtertried gymnastics for a little
while and and then taekwondo,and then it was some you know,
then it was so it took herlonger to find something she
really enjoyed, but I just keptencouraging her to try something
(14:38):
different.
And you know, there sometimesthe the barrier is that sports
can be really expensive.
You know, and so gettinginvolved in activities that are,
you know, just communityactivities, they're again go to
the park, playing games withneighborhood kids, it doesn't
necessarily have to be a sportthat you pay for and buy
(14:59):
equipment for.
SPEAKER_03 (15:00):
Well, I love that.
Like, even because cause evenbeing active, you can be
outside.
So one of my son's favoriteactivities used to be just
getting his dump trucks andgetting near a pile of dirt and
like scooping it like he was orgiving him like a spoon or
something, and he was likedumping it back and forth.
And so it even getting themoutside, I know that's what
Wilhelm said in that one, isreally powerful too, even if
it's not necessarily like movingtheir bodies, but they're still
(15:22):
outside, they're getting achange of scenery.
And so I think that's powerful.
I also have some friends whothey have a kid that's very shy
and and just like this, not veryathletic, but they put him in
it's this kid strong thing thatthey have in Emerlo, but all
essentially what it is is itworks on agility and movement.
And what they were telling me islike, hey, he doesn't naturally
come by it, but he's loving thisbecause like he's in a group
(15:42):
class and then they're kind oflike all like at different
levels, but he and then he earnslike as he develops skill, he
gets like a new little notch.
And so I think that was coolbecause he hadn't been anything
and he's like 12 and he's likedoing that now.
And so I think it's like whatyou said, Suzanne, trying
different things, and maybesomething sticks.
You never quite know.
You won't know till you let himtry it.
And sometimes it does take alittle push, I think.
SPEAKER_04 (16:05):
I also think the adults being involved is
important.
One of my favorite memories uhas a kid was my one of my best
friend's uncles.
They would come every now andthen, the the two uncles, they
were and they would want to playfootball with all the all the
like young kids.
And there was me who wasn't verygood, but each of the uncles
would take a team, and they youknow, we were gonna we're gonna
play touch football.
And I remember him moving hisfinger along his hand.
(16:25):
This is the plan, Sammy.
You're gonna move here, you'regonna go there, and you're gonna
go and you're gonna cross.
And they're teaching us, right?
And they're the quarterbacksbecause they can throw the ball
and they can hand off and theywould block for us or pick us
up.
You know, all that that coolcontact, you know, that we had
with them is one of my favoritememories of learning how to play
a sport.
And I think that's reallyimportant for the kid because
there's there's an adultinvolved.
SPEAKER_02 (16:44):
One of Cal Farley's sayings was, I'm probably gonna
bitch of this, but basically,there's no fun in hitting a home
run if there's nobody there tocheer for you.
So again, that that parentalinvolvement, grandparents,
aunts, uncles, neighbors,whoever that is, you know, needs
to be there encouraging.
It it doesn't have the sameeffect if you drop them off and
aren't there, you know, to cheerthem on.
(17:06):
So really important to beinvolved.
SPEAKER_01 (17:08):
So in a screen heavy world, what practical strategies
can help kids choose movementover passive entertainment?
SPEAKER_02 (17:14):
You know, those connections with other people
are way more rewarding to yourbrain, even than a screen.
So if they're buildingfriendships with with kids on
the team, if they've got a coachwho gives positive feedback, or
you know, like for Sam, those,you know, the uncles of a friend
that showed up, like that wasimportant to him.
They knew him by name, theycalled him, you know, they they
(17:36):
they encouraged him.
Those those things are way morepowerful, but it also takes more
time and effort on the part ofadults.
The easiest thing to do is giveyour kid a screen.
And they and they go in theirroom and and they're not
bothering you, right?
But it takes a lot more effortto get them involved in some
some activity, and that's that'sreally on us as adults.
SPEAKER_03 (17:58):
One of the things that has been interesting, my
husband coached my son's soccerteam last spring.
He didn't get to coach this fallbecause he was working too much
of it.
But I so I had to be hisassistant coach, and I was the
most nervous.
I was like, You're gonna begone, and I'm gonna be.
But I did have to do a couple ofpractices and I researched and I
wrote a whole plan out, but allthat.
Of course she did, Chloe.
And it was so stressful for me.
(18:18):
But I remember thinking it waslike Leighton's favorite time.
He was like, My parents are thecoach, and I thought he was
gonna hate it.
And and all this year, he'slike, Dad, when are you gonna
coach me again?
And so all that to say is it wasinteresting to me how much that
meant to him.
So maybe that is a strategy.
It is more work, and maybe notall the time, but I learned
something about myself that Icould do it, and I was brave.
And and honestly, it made mykids world.
(18:39):
And so maybe that is maybe youcoach one time, even if it's
something simple.
And so I think that's a strategyyou could try to.
SPEAKER_04 (18:46):
Yeah, I mean, there's a then there's the
obvious stuff, put limits onscreen times or combine it,
right?
There are apps that get peoplemoving, or maybe that or maybe
they hey put turn on your timer,go for a walk.
You can still have it, but don'tbe looking at your screen, you
gotta walk so you can put thiswhere you go.
Whatever it is, right?
Maybe there's a way to combinesome activity with the device.
SPEAKER_02 (19:05):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (19:05):
Or, you know, we gotta do this before we get the
device.
I mean, if that's important toyou, find a way to to do to do
it.
SPEAKER_01 (19:12):
So, what might be some of the most common barriers
that prevent families fromstaying active and how can they
overcome them?
SPEAKER_02 (19:17):
It's busyness, right?
We're too, we're too busy.
We let other things takepriority.
I think physical activity is oneof the things you have to look
at with a long-term view, right?
In five years and ten years,physical activity will have
served me very well.
Whereas screen timers sitting inwatching a show may not, you
know, how is that gonna serve mewell in the long term?
(19:39):
It might be it might seem to bemore entertaining, but but we
have to make it a priority.
SPEAKER_04 (19:43):
I said this in a previous podcast, and I'm gonna
say it again.
When you get on screens or theyyou play video games on,
especially on your phones, thosethings are heavily marketed and
targeted to keep you on them.
SPEAKER_05 (19:54):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (19:54):
Suzanne had mentioned about a farm game or
whatever.
Hey, yeah, it's because theyhave these little things and
timers.
And you can check in in an hourand you got to check in.
So it it essentially sucks yourentire time.
And your brain says, This ismore fun.
Let's also be real.
Working out hurts.
Like it can hurt.
Like it's not, it's it'suncomfortable.
If you gotta go outside becauseyou don't have space in your
house, you gotta get outside todo this stuff.
You know, the weather could bebad.
(20:16):
The you know, there could bedogs that chase you down the
neighborhood.
I mean, look, listen, I grew uphard, right?
There's there's these thingsthat these barriers, right?
They're a little sometimesthey're self-imposed.
It's just easier to do this.
SPEAKER_05 (20:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (20:28):
I I can't because of X, you know.
But you know, Chloe said, Ibuilt a gym.
If you have a little bit ofspace, there's a way to do it.
I found a website that the guysaid, Hey, just do it on your
couch and you can do some armpulls with a gallon of milk, or
or have these little objectsaround the house, lift your
chairs, or and you can dosomething that stay active.
So now that I'm into kind ofextreme fitness currently, but
40-some days ago, that wasn'ttrue.
(20:50):
And you know, I like to sitaround and watch TV.
I've been the heaviest I everam.
I'm miserable, right?
And the barrier became, hey,okay, I I realize I got a
problem.
I need to eat better, I need to,but I need to exercise too.
But I couldn't walk.
Like I I I would get out fromone room and I'm limping, my
feet are hurting.
I I run the chains for footballgames.
I remember we went long enough.
I couldn't even like I washurting, just moving down the
(21:13):
field, and I'm like, oh my gosh.
So then I started this programand I get I gotta I gotta go
outside every day.
So I start walking.
Boy boy, does it hurt.
I come inside, and I'm notwalking fast.
I'm talking in in 45 minutes,I'm not even doing two miles,
right?
I'm I'm walking slow and I comeinside and I'm in so much pain,
so I want to quit.
But my wife's doing it with metoo, so I have a little bit of
motivation.
But here's one thing I noticedin about two weeks, that kind of
(21:35):
stopped.
My body seems to have loosenedup.
I can move.
I ran yesterday a little bit,not long, but it's because I
said earlier, our bodies aredesigned to move.
When we sit, we're you're goingto tell your body, oh, this is
what I have to do.
What you program your body to dois what it's gonna do.
Like Chloe gets a lot of valueout of moving and lifting.
Her body tells her that's whatI'm doing, and it's built to do
(21:57):
it now.
Me sitting around for all thosemonths, I did told my body, oh,
we're not moving.
This is where I'm safe.
I also have read articles thatsay you your body doesn't want
to move.
You want to conserve energy atall times.
That's why our brains fight us.
Your brain is your worst enemy.
It loves it when you do it.
The motivation to do it is nevergonna come for free.
You have to earn that and havesome discipline because you
(22:18):
we're built biologically toconserve energy.
Because, right, we had to go inbursts, chase the food, and get
the food, and then I could Imight not have food for a few
days and I gotta chase the food,right?
So these are just things I'veread off the internet and
podcasts I hear and things likethat as well.
Of course, this is the bestpodcast.
It is but um, but uh nice but Ijust I just thought I wanted to
say that because my body justfeels better now.
(22:39):
And now I yeah, exercise stillain't fun.
I want to do other stuff with my45 minutes.
I got I've gotten tons of valueand and health out of it.
SPEAKER_03 (22:46):
One of the things I also think that you can do to
overcome is kind of like whatSam said is have an
accountability person.
One of my favorite things is Ihave a friend that's kind of
gotten into fitness and similarto what Sam's saying, like she
hadn't really before.
She doesn't really know how tolift or anything, but I have
been really busy with work andlife.
And and so we made a pack aboutthree months ago that we're
gonna meet each other at the gymonce a week.
(23:06):
And we're alternate who teaches.
So we each learn from eachother, right?
And so she loves when it's myweek because she hasn't really
ever grown up lifting a lot ofher lifts.
She's learned from her husbandand things.
And so I meet her once a week,and and it for me, it fills up
my cup on friendship.
Like I need that every week.
But for her, it's like atwofold.
Like, and I enjoy it, it's goodfor me to get my workout in, but
(23:26):
it is a twofold for her becauseshe's like, I've never done that
exercise and I'm not afraid totry it because you teach me and
we learn through it.
And so I think finding anaccountability partner can also
help that barrier of of thewant, right?
Like doing it with somebody doesmake a difference.
SPEAKER_01 (23:40):
So for single parents or families with intense
schedules, what are somerealistic low pressure ways to
stay active together?
SPEAKER_03 (23:47):
You know, I have a good friend who her kids both
now bike, and I and she bought abike and she bikes with them.
So I think, and she's a singleparent.
So I think that that was an easyway for them and and she would
do walks as well.
And so I think sometimes it'sjust the simple things getting
outside and moving a little bitas a family.
SPEAKER_02 (24:03):
You know, you can find almost anything on YouTube,
including free videos forworkouts that you could do in
the home or yoga or stretchingor you know, any of those things
are available.
And again, if the parents aredoing it, the kids are likely to
want to jump in with them.
SPEAKER_01 (24:20):
So, how can families stay consistent with activity
during busy seasons, badweather, or just life
transitions?
SPEAKER_04 (24:26):
Well, have a backup plan, right?
You know, when uh well I don'tget I don't currently get an
option, but there's times youyou have to adjust my days,
right?
I can't you know, the I can't docrazy, I can't go get struck by
lightning or or come out in ahail storm, right?
You you have to have a backupplan.
So if my plan was to walk today,maybe there's a place I can
walk.
You know, oftentimes malls areopen and they let you just walk
in there, you know.
There's just tons of things youyou just have to have a backup
(24:47):
plan.
And most of all, you you gottayou gotta decide that this is
what I need to do today.
And guys, it doesn't have to belong.
No, it doesn't have to be 45minutes, it it can 15, 20
minutes.
Get get out there and do alittle something.
SPEAKER_03 (24:58):
Well, I think you said it earlier, like playing
tag in the house or even simplethings.
I have a walking pad.
I don't honestly, I kind ofstopped getting it out because
my kids are so obsessed with thenatural meats because they
wanted to get on the walking padtoo, and then I was afraid they
were gonna face plant becausethey would just keep turning on
the highest level.
But ironically to say, they dothink my walking pad is the
coolest thing in the world.
And so I think what's ironicabout that is you can find
(25:20):
something they enjoy.
But the videos, like whatSuzanne was saying, I have put
on little kid workouts for mykids and they think they're the
coolest thing.
SPEAKER_04 (25:26):
I don't even really had those.
SPEAKER_03 (25:27):
They do, they have kid workouts on YouTube for
free.
SPEAKER_04 (25:30):
Do it with your kids.
SPEAKER_03 (25:31):
They'll like you can even be like a Sonic versus
Godzilla, and so they pick ateam and you have to do what it
says, and then you see who winsat the end.
SPEAKER_04 (25:37):
Oh, wow.
It's way cool.
But I want to add something tothis, you know, because we're
talking about busy seasons, badweather, and life transition.
Those things are very stressful.
I mean, bad weather could do alot of things.
That's that's something we dealwith.
But the other two are reallyhigh stress.
So the exercise helps yourelease that stress, right?
And it releases for your kids aswell, because they're going
through it too if you are.
SPEAKER_03 (25:57):
Well, and I said this all the time, but usually
people who are close to me, if Ihaven't been consistent in my
workout that week, they canusually tell because it does
affect me too.
And so I think it is important.
But I also want to say don'tever beat yourself up because
there's been times where I onlygot like three workouts a week,
which is hard for me.
I want to work out every day.
But I'm also like, well, I whatelse did I accomplish today?
Did I get to put my kids down tobed?
(26:18):
Did I get to do all these thingson my to-do list?
And so just saying just becauseI didn't get to do it two days
in a row doesn't mean I don't gotomorrow, right?
So just not beating yourself upwhen you can't be consistent.
SPEAKER_01 (26:27):
So if a family wants to be more active but feels
overwhelmed, what's one smallmanageable step that they can
take this week to get started?
SPEAKER_04 (26:33):
Go for a walk.
SPEAKER_03 (26:34):
That's what I was gonna say.
SPEAKER_04 (26:35):
Sounds like a pun, right?
A manageable step.
You know, set a small goal.
One thing about humans is we welike goals and we we work better
when we have some kind ofaccountability.
Yeah, get out there and dosomething small.
Doesn't have to be intense.
And Chloe said this earlier, andand people who know me know,
hey, I'm all or nothing, right?
I failed, I'm I'm not doing itno more, all right?
Whatever.
Hey, don't don't do that.
Just do it.
(26:55):
You know, do do make a smallgoal for yourself.
Something realistic, somethingyou can do, and have a backup
plan for it.
And just do, I would say, a10-minute walk.
SPEAKER_03 (27:02):
One of the things I I think is so powerful is I
recently read really 30 minutesis fine.
Like, so every we have it in ourhead, it has to be this long
thing.
But I read like even a 30-minutelift session is so good.
Like that's all you really need.
And then you can follow it upwith a 20-minute walk, and
that's all you need every day.
You don't need hours upon hours.
But one of the things I wasgonna say, small step, one of
the things I do with my kidspretty frequently is they love
(27:23):
to go check the mail.
What's a quarter mile there, andthen it's another quarter mile
back.
And so we do that.
Like, and they think it's thefunnest thing because they're
checking the mail, but we'realso moving.
SPEAKER_01 (27:31):
I think starting small is so important.
You're not gonna go out and runa marathon if you haven't done
it, you know, haven't gone for awalk or but starting small is so
important.
Having accountability partner, Iremember in that's probably my
mid-30s, I hadn't been doinganything for a long time, and
Sam actually helped me out doingcouch to a 5K thing basically.
And he really just every dayhelped me with little, little
things and got a little bitbetter, a little bit better, a
(27:53):
little bit better, and beforetoo long I I mastered that 5k.
SPEAKER_04 (27:56):
So that's one of my favorite memories of us, Josh,
is that that run.
Remember, we ran by that signthat said slow, and I said, It's
lying.
We gotta keep going.
We're going fast, man.
Yeah, that was fun.
Yeah, having a friend, gettingout there and being active, real
fun.
SPEAKER_03 (28:10):
I love that.
So again, that same 5k that Joshand I ran recently.
What I was finding interestingis one of my really good friends
did it, and she, two of my goodfriends did it, but one of the
ones I we run all the timetogether.
And the other one had never donea 5k and actually had only been
ran two miles, is the most shehad done before that race.
And she said, I don't want youto wait on me.
But and I said, Riley, you gotit.
I told her I was like, you cando this.
(28:31):
It doesn't matter when youfinish, but you can do this.
And you would have been amazedat how much she lit up at the
end of that race.
And she was like, I was furtherbehind you, but I was there.
I said, But you did it and youwere worried you couldn't do it.
And so you just never know whatyou're capable of.
So don't be afraid to try it.
SPEAKER_04 (28:45):
I got a fun challenge for for listeners.
Wherever your nearest city is,find the local turkey trot and
sign up for that thing.
It is probably one of the mostfun events I've ever done.
Even if you can't run it, youcan walk.
Sometimes they have different itdoesn't have to be a 5k, just
depends on where you go.
But some of my most funmemories, in fact, that's what
me and Josh were training forthat year was the turkey trot.
So we ran the turkey trot, well,kind of together.
(29:06):
And I ran later on, I ran aChristmas run.
No, I ran a chur turkey trot inSt.
Louis when my son lived there.
So fun, you run through sixflags.
You know, so there's these, theythey set them up, they're
professional, they're they'refun.
But get out there, make thatmake that your goal.
SPEAKER_01 (29:19):
All right, thank you for joining us today.
I hope this episode has inspiredyou to be more active with your
family.
And maybe because you're soinspired, you'll jump up right
now and go for a walk or over toa friend's house and tell them
that they should also startlistening to Brain-based
parenting.
Or perhaps you're so motivatedright now that you should just
get out of your chair, do fivejumping jacks, but then give the
podcast a five-star review.
As always, remember, you mighthave to loan out your cortex
(29:41):
today.
Just make sure you get it back.
SPEAKER_00 (29:43):
Thank you for listening to Brain-Based
Parenting.
We hope you enjoyed this show.
If you would like moreinformation about Cal Farley's
Boys Ranch, are interested inemployment, would like
information about placing yourchild, or would like to help us
help children by donating to ourmission, please visit
calfarley.org.
You can find us on all socialmedia platforms by searching for
(30:06):
Cal Farley's.
Thank you for spending your timewith us and have a blessed day.
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