February 10, 2025 • 17 mins
Discover the transformative journey of Ms. Dina Farmer, a US Air Force veteran who turned life's challenges into a mission to empower families with special needs. Driven by her own experiences as a military spouse and the mother of two children with autism, Dina shares invaluable insights into how travel can become a powerful tool for self-care and development. She sheds light on the unique hurdles faced by military families, from frequent relocations to career disruptions, and how these experiences fueled her passion for creating Spectrum Getaways. This initiative is not just about travel—it's about crafting accessible adventures that cater to the specific needs of families, offering practical advice, and encouraging parents to take small but meaningful steps.
Join us as we explore how travel can enrich the lives of children, particularly those with autism, through tailored experiences that foster growth and communication. Dina shares her wisdom on focusing on a child's strengths and nurturing their interests through unforgettable travel experiences. From exciting destinations like Japan to simple community outings, she illustrates how travel is an essential form of education and life enrichment. Her inspiring message challenges limitations and opens minds to new possibilities, making the world more accessible, one family at a time.
Connect with Dina on her website, www.spectrumgetaways.com, and follow her journey on Instagram and Threads as she continues to support the disabled community with her empowering resources.
Useful links mentioned in the interview:
- Child Care Aware - https://www.childcareaware.org/
- ARCH the National Respite Care Network - https://archrespite.org/caregiver-resources/respitelocator/
- Break Relief Sitters they are a traveling respite service - https://www.instagram.com/breakrelief_sitters/
- Autism Babysitters but also a traveling respite service in the local Atlanta area for other types of respite care like doctor appointments, birth care for children that can't be in the delivery room and so much more! - https://www.autismbabysitters.com/
Listen to the full episode on your favorite podcast platform and check out the video version on our YouTube channel!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dr. Eko (00:00):
Hello parents, welcome to Brain Power with Dr Eko.
I have with me today Ms DinaFarmer and I'm going to let her
introduce herself, because shehas a really special story and
what she does is so so importantfor parents out there who love
to travel.
So, ms Farmer, welcome to theshow.
Dina Farmer (00:20):
Oh, thank you, Dr Eko, for having me.
I'm so glad that we connectedthrough Instagram because of
what you do for families and Iknow we're talking a little bit
about how thankful I am because,to be transparent with my story
, I'm a US Air Force veteran anda US Air Force spouse, and I
was just saying my husband'sretiring very, very soon, in a
couple of days.
Dr. Eko (00:41):
What you and your husband have done, thank you.
Dina Farmer (00:45):
It's been a long journey, but now I'm looking
forward to new horizons, forsure, and more travel On our
dime, not the military's dime.
Dr. Eko (00:54):
Yeah.
Dina Farmer (00:55):
Well, I got my start because I separated from
the Air Force and I was astay-at-home mom and no like
negatives about that.
I really enjoyed being homewith my son and it is a
full-at-home mom and no likenegatives about that.
I really enjoyed being homewith my son and it is a
full-time job, a hundred percent, but being at home.
I still wanted to have somekind of career and if you know
anything about being a militaryspouse, it can be very, very
(01:15):
difficult.
We're one of the mostunderemployed and unemployed
demographic in the United States.
I think like 80 somethingpercent of military spouses
don't have jobs because it's sodifficult to maintain a career
like with licensing, and statesare not very forgiving with that
.
So I decided to become a travelagent because one of my friends
(01:36):
said I made it look very, veryeasy to book a trip to Disney
and I was like, well, it is easyfor me, I know, I understand.
So I was on this journey ofbeing a travel advisor and then
my oldest son was diagnosed withautism and I thought, well,
geez, I've already known that.
I just didn't really understandwhat it meant and I finally had
(01:59):
a label to say, hey, this iswhat's going on and like how we
can best approach helping him sothat our travels aren't so
difficult.
So after the diagnosis we didthe you know I read the water
hose of information, all likefun stuff involved with that.
But we still had to move as amilitary family and that meant
every you know three to fouryears.
(02:20):
We were going somewhere new.
And how do we adjust with thatjourney journey, especially
because he's only been throughone or two moves at that point.
So, like you know, he's notused to that.
So I kind of was like how do Ibest support my son on
continuing to travel, because Ilove to travel, but also through
each of these moves, because itcan be very difficult,
especially with the changes andyou know, a new home and new
(02:43):
smells and new cities and allthat stuff.
So I tapped into the travel andtourism industry that I was
already a part of and I foundthat there is little to no
support.
Again, I think this is a themein my life, like little to no
support.
So what can I do to change that?
So I decided that I'm going toreach out to tourism boards and
tourism suppliers and I'm goingto work in my own industry as a
(03:06):
travel advisor to use my tipsand tricks of what I'm doing
with my own son to be able tohelp other families travel the
world.
Because regardless of whereyour child is at on the spectrum
, I wholeheartedly believe thatit's possible to travel, even if
that travel is just the nextcity over.
I really think it's 100%possible.
So I opened Spectrum Goodwaysto help other families travel
(03:28):
the world, or even their ownbackyard.
Dr. Eko (03:30):
I love it.
I love that you said even theirown backyard, because I talk to
so many parents who feel likethey can't even leave their
homes right and do the thingsthat they would love to do.
And, yes, it's easy to say, yes, self-care, but then what does
that really really look like?
And I'm so glad that you'rebreaking it down for parents and
(03:52):
making it, helping them todream again and to actually not
just dream but put it intopractice, like actually do it.
So that is so invaluable.
Thank you for what you're doing.
What tips would you give a momwho feels like, okay, I have
this child and they require somuch care.
My son or my daughter requiresso much care.
(04:14):
How can I possibly plan a trip?
Dina Farmer (04:18):
Especially with like planning in your own
backyard.
I highly recommend looking intowhat options you have with your
insurance because, believe itor not, there are so many
different ways that you can besupported by your insurance.
So, for example, with us in themilitary, we get respite care
about 40 hours.
Well, I think they're changing.
It's like 32 hours of respitecare that's paid for by the
(04:39):
military and you can use thatrespite care to help you.
So if you wanted to go to theaquarium for the day, you could
have a respite care providercome with you to be able to go
to the aquarium and you can usethose hours.
Of course, it's for self-caretoo, but then, at the same time,
I feel like vacationing andtraveling are self-care within
themselves and you canexperience that with someone who
(05:00):
is trained and knows how tohelp.
Your child isn't judging youbecause they're having a
meltdown in public or you knowthey're just having a hard time.
They can this maybe a third setof hands that are available to
you.
I love, I love respite.
We have a great respite careprovider, the.
The boys really love her a lot.
She's fantastic.
But another one would be just todo really teeny, tiny baby
(05:23):
steps.
Just test something that youknow that your child already
likes.
So maybe they like the aquarium, so you can go for an hour and
then come home or go to like.
My youngest son loves theMcDonald's play place.
We don't eat the food, we justgo and eat Like.
That's a nice way to test itout, to see how it's going to
work for you, so that onceyou're ready for bigger and
longer trips, you're alreadyprepared because you've been
(05:45):
doing little, teeny, tiny things.
All around your neighborhoodpark there are national parks if
you have one that's nearbySomething just really small for
a short amount of time that youknow that your child is
interested in Tiny, bite-sizedchunks.
Dr. Eko (05:59):
So question about the respite care is that 32 hours
per year or is that per month?
Dina Farmer (06:04):
Oh no per month, Wonderful, so they just need to
check in with TRICARE orwhichever insurance they have
Yep, they're checking with EFMPfor the military and then
whichever insurance they have,because some will pay up to 16
hours a month.
It just depends on theinsurance, and then sometimes
even states have some kind ofprograms too.
So you just have to checkwhat's available.
(06:26):
Or you can pay out of pocket,which I know is expensive, but
it's always an option too to beable to have someone because
child care aware.
I believe they have a hugerespite program and they can
help yeah.
Dr. Eko (06:37):
Okay, and the way I like to look at paying out of
pocket is like it's aninvestment right.
It's not really a cost, becausewhat are you gaining on the
back end that you didn't?
Have before you're gaininganother set of hands that's
actually trained, trained set ofhands that will actually help
you navigate and do the thingsthat you would love to do for
your son, for your children andfor yourselves it's true, and
(07:00):
there's so many programs outthere too.
Dina Farmer (07:02):
Like I work with a company they're called break
relief sitters, a respitecompany that will go and travel
with you to a destination too.
So, if you wanted to like oneof the places I booked the most
is Japan you can have therespite care provider go with
your family all the way to Japanand help you for the duration
of the two so you're not alone.
Dr. Eko (07:24):
Yeah, so I'm so curious .
You said one of thedestinations you booked the most
is Japan.
Why?
Dina Farmer (07:32):
I feel like a lot of families who have autistic
children also really like animeand manga.
I'm going to say that, yeah,yeah.
Dr. Eko (07:41):
That makes sense.
Dina Farmer (07:42):
Yeah, so we're always going to.
They always want to go, like,to the manga museum in kyoto, or
go to like to the ghibli museum, or go to tokyo disneyland, or
go to universal studios, japan,which is my favorite, or you
know, just to eat the food andsee the culture and it's all
beautiful, and maybe because Iwas stationed there for a while
too, so I like know it'sliterally like my second home.
(08:03):
Oh that's wonderful.
Dr. Eko (08:05):
Yes, my kids have been telling me Japan is on the list
they need to go.
I'm like, okay, okay, we'regoing to have to figure this one
out.
For somebody who knows Japan,great, I'm happy to help, I love
.
Japan.
Okay, so I like your suggestionabout starting with little,
tiny bitty steps.
What else?
What can you say to the parentsabout their mindset about
(08:32):
little, tiny bitty steps?
What else?
What can you say to the parentsabout their mindset, about
changing their mindset aroundwhat's possible for their
children to do?
Because I think that's where itbegins A lot of them feel like
children can't do many thingsright, but I don't think that's
the case, actually not, I don'tthink.
I know that's not the case.
So what do you say to parents?
Dina Farmer (08:48):
It's's true, and I feel like just reminding
yourself that your child isn'tlimited by their disability.
You can go anywhere you want to, and that's really by pushing
your own self out of yourcomfort zone.
Because even for myself, right,my boys are night and day.
They're both autistic, but myyoungest hates theme parks.
(09:08):
I'm able to love same park, butI just say I'm not going to
limit them to not be able toexperience something because I'm
afraid that they can't dosomething.
You know, because I know thatthey can, because we sit there
all day advocating for our ownchildren, right Of like, we want
these services, or, you know,we believe that they can do X, y
(09:29):
and Z and they can movemountains, but we also need to
give them the space to movethose mountains.
And that includes travel,because I personally have found
that travel has unlocked doorsfor my oldest son, in particular
with talking when he wasyounger.
It wasn't I wouldn't call himnonverbal, but it was not full
sentences when he was about fouryears old and that was like
(09:49):
hello, there's another signright there.
Why weren't you payingattention to Dina Like?
But when we started going onvacations, one big thing I
started doing with my oldest sonwas pen trading at Disney and
that encouraged him to have tospeak to a cast member to ask
for something.
And I didn't.
I wasn't there to help him,like verbally there to help him.
I just said, if you want thispen, you've got to do it
(10:11):
yourself.
You know, and I feel like eventhat, saying like hey, I believe
in you, I think that you can dothis is something that we have
to remember as parents, that ourchildren are capable of doing
it and do it scared, becauseit's gonna be scary for girls,
in fact but the baby steps arethe way to get to bigger things
absolutely, and that's so truewith anything in life.
Dr. Eko (10:33):
Really, it's the baby steps, the mindset that says I
can't just throw it out thewindow.
And I always love to tellparents every child has a
strength.
Look for that strength thatyour child has, and that's what
we want to do.
So if your child loves music,then we want to get them in
music lessons.
We want to travel to placesthat are important to music.
(10:55):
Things like that make adifference in the child's life
and also in our lives right,Because when our children are
doing well, we do better.
Dina Farmer (11:03):
I totally agree and I love like, yeah, leaning into
their, their strengths as well.
Like my youngest son is totallyinto space.
So I have a trip planned toHuntsville Alabama is not that
far away and then there's onereally close to us in Mobile and
then down in Port Canaveral.
I'm like we have all these tripsplanned because I'm he's
generally excited to go to thoseplaces so it makes that journey
(11:25):
a lot less stressful, becausehe wants to be a part of it, he
wants to see it, and I'm like,yeah, well, I'm just going to
lean into it, just like with theimpression of my oldest.
Dr. Eko (11:34):
Okay, so your youngest loves that.
So then, what do you do withthe oldest son, who may I don't
know if he does, but he may notbe as well?
Dina Farmer (11:45):
So, like I mentioned with theme park things
, I actually do vacationseparately with my boys.
My youngest and I.
We have an annual mom and sontrip to Universal.
It's just the two of us.
It's so great because I justget time with him no dad, no
siblings and he gets to dowhatever you know.
Like you want to eat ice creamall day, you want to go on all
(12:07):
these rides I'm not going tostop you because I love roller
coasters, but I vacation withthem separately, in particular
with something that's sostressful for my youngest, so
that my oldest is not limited byhis brother and he still gets
to experience what he wants to.
And then my youngest isn't socompletely stressed out because
I know that the crowds and thetheme parks and the smells and
(12:27):
like everything is just a lotfor him.
So, like I said, I focus in onmy youngest with like OK, well,
we'll just go.
Thankfully, my oldest istotally interested in space too,
so we do it together.
But I do make like pencil intime that I'm like I'm just
going to go with your brother togo do blah, blah, blah and you
(12:54):
can hang back on your tablet oryour phone and, like you know,
just chill because now he's ateenager, so I can leave him
alone.
But I think the biggest thing isdefinitely like, if you do have
two children or multiplechildren, it's okay to vacation
separately 100%.
And I do that.
I do that often, even with myyoungest.
He does advocate for himselfand say, hey, mom, I just want
to go, because we're very, verylucky to live in Florida and
very close to the beach.
And I just say, can we go on avacation, just you and me, to a
(13:17):
hotel at the beach, and that'sall he wants to do.
And I'm like, yeah, I canaccommodate that request.
It's super easy because hisbrother would be bored.
So, yeah, so we do that.
Beach vacations for my youngestand theme parks for my oldest.
It's beautiful because I get tospend time separately with my
children, which sometimes ourkids really do crave that
one-on-one time with you, andvacationing like that is really
(13:38):
a perfect way to give them thatopportunity.
Dr. Eko (13:41):
Okay, I love that because you just people free.
Everybody always has to gotogether to the same place and
do the same thing.
Yeah, it just creates morestress than it's worth.
So thank you for saying that.
So question for the people whoare thinking what do I do with
my spouse?
I want to have some time withmy spouse and even vacationing
(14:05):
with each kid.
I have some time with my spouseand if I'm vacationing with
each kid?
Dina Farmer (14:14):
So then, at what point do you vacation with
spouse or how do we build thatbond between you and your
partner?
I have two really greatsuggestions.
The first one is, if you'retraveling, you can have that
respite care provider come alongand they can actually watch
your children in your hotel roomfor you and you and your spouse
can go spend some time togetherwhile you're on your big family
vacation, if you want.
If you book a cruise or anall-inclusive resort, they also
(14:35):
have kids clubs.
If you want to keep your childin the kids club from the second
it's open to the second it'sclosed at nighttime you can,
it's enough.
It's.
Of course, if your child's notpotty trained, you're going to
have to come back and changethem, because they don't do that
for certain ages and up at kidsclubs.
They just will ask.
They'll probably call you onthe phone to say, hey, can you
(14:57):
come and change them or feedthem if they have really
restricted diets, for example?
The last thing is it's hard forus as military families, right,
because our families areusually not near us, but if you
have a family member that youtrust a lot, then maybe going on
a short weekend getaway anddropping them off at a family
(15:18):
member's house is okay.
I love cruises in particularbecause there's like three-day
cruises.
You're in and out and you getto spend time with your, your
spouse or your loved one, andthen you can come back refreshed
and renewed and there's so muchwellness that's going on with
cruise lands lately that it'sinsane.
It's like spas and meditationand mindfulness and yoga and
(15:39):
Pilates.
There's like so much, and eventhe spa services are like so
amazing.
So there's three options foryou.
There's always an opportunityif you find it.
You have to make time for that.
Dr. Eko (15:49):
Wow, thank you so much for opening our minds to
possibilities, because reallythat's what you've done.
You just opened so manyparents' minds to the
possibility that you know I cando this.
I'm not stuck in my house, sothank you so much.
And so where can parents findyou, find out more about what
you do, so they can connect andso where can parents find you,
find out more about what you doso they can connect?
Dina Farmer (16:11):
Sure, so I have a website, www.
spectrumgetaways.
com, and that's getaways with anS at the end.
I try to really be on the noseabout who I serve so that no
confusion.
Anyone pretty much in thedisabled community I can serve,
but I do help mostly familieswith autistic children, and I
live on Instagram and nowthreads as well same handle
Spectrum Getaways.
I have a blog, so if you areinterested in reading more about
(16:34):
the different types of autismtravel options that are out
there because it's emerging andI'm constantly updating it you
can see that as well.
Dr. Eko (16:44):
Oh, so wonderful.
And parents, please do yourselfa big favor and go connect with
miss farmer.
So thank you so much again forcoming on and please do us a big
favor share this with familiesand friends that need to hear
about life saving, becausetravel is education, travel can
be life saving, life savinginformation so that they they
(17:07):
can enrich their children'slives and they can enrich their
lives as well.
So have a wonderful dayeveryone, thank you.
Hello parents, welcome to Brain Power with Dr Eko.
I have with me today Ms DinaFarmer and I'm going to let her
introduce herself, because shehas a really special story and
what she does is so so importantfor parents out there who love
to travel.
So, ms Farmer, welcome to theshow.
Dina Farmer (00:20):
Oh, thank you, Dr Eko, for having me.
I'm so glad that we connectedthrough Instagram because of
what you do for families and Iknow we're talking a little bit
about how thankful I am because,to be transparent with my story
, I'm a US Air Force veteran anda US Air Force spouse, and I
was just saying my husband'sretiring very, very soon, in a
couple of days.
Dr. Eko (00:41):
What you and your husband have done, thank you.
Dina Farmer (00:45):
It's been a long journey, but now I'm looking
forward to new horizons, forsure, and more travel On our
dime, not the military's dime.
Dr. Eko (00:54):
Yeah.
Dina Farmer (00:55):
Well, I got my start because I separated from
the Air Force and I was astay-at-home mom and no like
negatives about that.
I really enjoyed being homewith my son and it is a
full-at-home mom and no likenegatives about that.
I really enjoyed being homewith my son and it is a
full-time job, a hundred percent, but being at home.
I still wanted to have somekind of career and if you know
anything about being a militaryspouse, it can be very, very
(01:15):
difficult.
We're one of the mostunderemployed and unemployed
demographic in the United States.
I think like 80 somethingpercent of military spouses
don't have jobs because it's sodifficult to maintain a career
like with licensing, and statesare not very forgiving with that
.
So I decided to become a travelagent because one of my friends
(01:36):
said I made it look very, veryeasy to book a trip to Disney
and I was like, well, it is easyfor me, I know, I understand.
So I was on this journey ofbeing a travel advisor and then
my oldest son was diagnosed withautism and I thought, well,
geez, I've already known that.
I just didn't really understandwhat it meant and I finally had
(01:59):
a label to say, hey, this iswhat's going on and like how we
can best approach helping him sothat our travels aren't so
difficult.
So after the diagnosis we didthe you know I read the water
hose of information, all likefun stuff involved with that.
But we still had to move as amilitary family and that meant
every you know three to fouryears.
(02:20):
We were going somewhere new.
And how do we adjust with thatjourney journey, especially
because he's only been throughone or two moves at that point.
So, like you know, he's notused to that.
So I kind of was like how do Ibest support my son on
continuing to travel, because Ilove to travel, but also through
each of these moves, because itcan be very difficult,
especially with the changes andyou know, a new home and new
(02:43):
smells and new cities and allthat stuff.
So I tapped into the travel andtourism industry that I was
already a part of and I foundthat there is little to no
support.
Again, I think this is a themein my life, like little to no
support.
So what can I do to change that?
So I decided that I'm going toreach out to tourism boards and
tourism suppliers and I'm goingto work in my own industry as a
(03:06):
travel advisor to use my tipsand tricks of what I'm doing
with my own son to be able tohelp other families travel the
world.
Because regardless of whereyour child is at on the spectrum
, I wholeheartedly believe thatit's possible to travel, even if
that travel is just the nextcity over.
I really think it's 100%possible.
So I opened Spectrum Goodwaysto help other families travel
(03:28):
the world, or even their ownbackyard.
Dr. Eko (03:30):
I love it.
I love that you said even theirown backyard, because I talk to
so many parents who feel likethey can't even leave their
homes right and do the thingsthat they would love to do.
And, yes, it's easy to say, yes, self-care, but then what does
that really really look like?
And I'm so glad that you'rebreaking it down for parents and
(03:52):
making it, helping them todream again and to actually not
just dream but put it intopractice, like actually do it.
So that is so invaluable.
Thank you for what you're doing.
What tips would you give a momwho feels like, okay, I have
this child and they require somuch care.
My son or my daughter requiresso much care.
(04:14):
How can I possibly plan a trip?
Dina Farmer (04:18):
Especially with like planning in your own
backyard.
I highly recommend looking intowhat options you have with your
insurance because, believe itor not, there are so many
different ways that you can besupported by your insurance.
So, for example, with us in themilitary, we get respite care
about 40 hours.
Well, I think they're changing.
It's like 32 hours of respitecare that's paid for by the
(04:39):
military and you can use thatrespite care to help you.
So if you wanted to go to theaquarium for the day, you could
have a respite care providercome with you to be able to go
to the aquarium and you can usethose hours.
Of course, it's for self-caretoo, but then, at the same time,
I feel like vacationing andtraveling are self-care within
themselves and you canexperience that with someone who
(05:00):
is trained and knows how tohelp.
Your child isn't judging youbecause they're having a
meltdown in public or you knowthey're just having a hard time.
They can this maybe a third setof hands that are available to
you.
I love, I love respite.
We have a great respite careprovider, the.
The boys really love her a lot.
She's fantastic.
But another one would be just todo really teeny, tiny baby
(05:23):
steps.
Just test something that youknow that your child already
likes.
So maybe they like the aquarium, so you can go for an hour and
then come home or go to like.
My youngest son loves theMcDonald's play place.
We don't eat the food, we justgo and eat Like.
That's a nice way to test itout, to see how it's going to
work for you, so that onceyou're ready for bigger and
longer trips, you're alreadyprepared because you've been
(05:45):
doing little, teeny, tiny things.
All around your neighborhoodpark there are national parks if
you have one that's nearbySomething just really small for
a short amount of time that youknow that your child is
interested in Tiny, bite-sizedchunks.
Dr. Eko (05:59):
So question about the respite care is that 32 hours
per year or is that per month?
Dina Farmer (06:04):
Oh no per month, Wonderful, so they just need to
check in with TRICARE orwhichever insurance they have
Yep, they're checking with EFMPfor the military and then
whichever insurance they have,because some will pay up to 16
hours a month.
It just depends on theinsurance, and then sometimes
even states have some kind ofprograms too.
So you just have to checkwhat's available.
(06:26):
Or you can pay out of pocket,which I know is expensive, but
it's always an option too to beable to have someone because
child care aware.
I believe they have a hugerespite program and they can
help yeah.
Dr. Eko (06:37):
Okay, and the way I like to look at paying out of
pocket is like it's aninvestment right.
It's not really a cost, becausewhat are you gaining on the
back end that you didn't?
Have before you're gaininganother set of hands that's
actually trained, trained set ofhands that will actually help
you navigate and do the thingsthat you would love to do for
your son, for your children andfor yourselves it's true, and
(07:00):
there's so many programs outthere too.
Dina Farmer (07:02):
Like I work with a company they're called break
relief sitters, a respitecompany that will go and travel
with you to a destination too.
So, if you wanted to like oneof the places I booked the most
is Japan you can have therespite care provider go with
your family all the way to Japanand help you for the duration
of the two so you're not alone.
Dr. Eko (07:24):
Yeah, so I'm so curious .
You said one of thedestinations you booked the most
is Japan.
Why?
Dina Farmer (07:32):
I feel like a lot of families who have autistic
children also really like animeand manga.
I'm going to say that, yeah,yeah.
Dr. Eko (07:41):
That makes sense.
Dina Farmer (07:42):
Yeah, so we're always going to.
They always want to go, like,to the manga museum in kyoto, or
go to like to the ghibli museum, or go to tokyo disneyland, or
go to universal studios, japan,which is my favorite, or you
know, just to eat the food andsee the culture and it's all
beautiful, and maybe because Iwas stationed there for a while
too, so I like know it'sliterally like my second home.
(08:03):
Oh that's wonderful.
Dr. Eko (08:05):
Yes, my kids have been telling me Japan is on the list
they need to go.
I'm like, okay, okay, we'regoing to have to figure this one
out.
For somebody who knows Japan,great, I'm happy to help, I love
.
Japan.
Okay, so I like your suggestionabout starting with little,
tiny bitty steps.
What else?
What can you say to the parentsabout their mindset about
(08:32):
little, tiny bitty steps?
What else?
What can you say to the parentsabout their mindset, about
changing their mindset aroundwhat's possible for their
children to do?
Because I think that's where itbegins A lot of them feel like
children can't do many thingsright, but I don't think that's
the case, actually not, I don'tthink.
I know that's not the case.
So what do you say to parents?
Dina Farmer (08:48):
It's's true, and I feel like just reminding
yourself that your child isn'tlimited by their disability.
You can go anywhere you want to, and that's really by pushing
your own self out of yourcomfort zone.
Because even for myself, right,my boys are night and day.
They're both autistic, but myyoungest hates theme parks.
(09:08):
I'm able to love same park, butI just say I'm not going to
limit them to not be able toexperience something because I'm
afraid that they can't dosomething.
You know, because I know thatthey can, because we sit there
all day advocating for our ownchildren, right Of like, we want
these services, or, you know,we believe that they can do X, y
(09:29):
and Z and they can movemountains, but we also need to
give them the space to movethose mountains.
And that includes travel,because I personally have found
that travel has unlocked doorsfor my oldest son, in particular
with talking when he wasyounger.
It wasn't I wouldn't call himnonverbal, but it was not full
sentences when he was about fouryears old and that was like
(09:49):
hello, there's another signright there.
Why weren't you payingattention to Dina Like?
But when we started going onvacations, one big thing I
started doing with my oldest sonwas pen trading at Disney and
that encouraged him to have tospeak to a cast member to ask
for something.
And I didn't.
I wasn't there to help him,like verbally there to help him.
I just said, if you want thispen, you've got to do it
(10:11):
yourself.
You know, and I feel like eventhat, saying like hey, I believe
in you, I think that you can dothis is something that we have
to remember as parents, that ourchildren are capable of doing
it and do it scared, becauseit's gonna be scary for girls,
in fact but the baby steps arethe way to get to bigger things
absolutely, and that's so truewith anything in life.
Dr. Eko (10:33):
Really, it's the baby steps, the mindset that says I
can't just throw it out thewindow.
And I always love to tellparents every child has a
strength.
Look for that strength thatyour child has, and that's what
we want to do.
So if your child loves music,then we want to get them in
music lessons.
We want to travel to placesthat are important to music.
(10:55):
Things like that make adifference in the child's life
and also in our lives right,Because when our children are
doing well, we do better.
Dina Farmer (11:03):
I totally agree and I love like, yeah, leaning into
their, their strengths as well.
Like my youngest son is totallyinto space.
So I have a trip planned toHuntsville Alabama is not that
far away and then there's onereally close to us in Mobile and
then down in Port Canaveral.
I'm like we have all these tripsplanned because I'm he's
generally excited to go to thoseplaces so it makes that journey
(11:25):
a lot less stressful, becausehe wants to be a part of it, he
wants to see it, and I'm like,yeah, well, I'm just going to
lean into it, just like with theimpression of my oldest.
Dr. Eko (11:34):
Okay, so your youngest loves that.
So then, what do you do withthe oldest son, who may I don't
know if he does, but he may notbe as well?
Dina Farmer (11:45):
So, like I mentioned with theme park things
, I actually do vacationseparately with my boys.
My youngest and I.
We have an annual mom and sontrip to Universal.
It's just the two of us.
It's so great because I justget time with him no dad, no
siblings and he gets to dowhatever you know.
Like you want to eat ice creamall day, you want to go on all
(12:07):
these rides I'm not going tostop you because I love roller
coasters, but I vacation withthem separately, in particular
with something that's sostressful for my youngest, so
that my oldest is not limited byhis brother and he still gets
to experience what he wants to.
And then my youngest isn't socompletely stressed out because
I know that the crowds and thetheme parks and the smells and
(12:27):
like everything is just a lotfor him.
So, like I said, I focus in onmy youngest with like OK, well,
we'll just go.
Thankfully, my oldest istotally interested in space too,
so we do it together.
But I do make like pencil intime that I'm like I'm just
going to go with your brother togo do blah, blah, blah and you
(12:54):
can hang back on your tablet oryour phone and, like you know,
just chill because now he's ateenager, so I can leave him
alone.
But I think the biggest thing isdefinitely like, if you do have
two children or multiplechildren, it's okay to vacation
separately 100%.
And I do that.
I do that often, even with myyoungest.
He does advocate for himselfand say, hey, mom, I just want
to go, because we're very, verylucky to live in Florida and
very close to the beach.
And I just say, can we go on avacation, just you and me, to a
(13:17):
hotel at the beach, and that'sall he wants to do.
And I'm like, yeah, I canaccommodate that request.
It's super easy because hisbrother would be bored.
So, yeah, so we do that.
Beach vacations for my youngestand theme parks for my oldest.
It's beautiful because I get tospend time separately with my
children, which sometimes ourkids really do crave that
one-on-one time with you, andvacationing like that is really
(13:38):
a perfect way to give them thatopportunity.
Dr. Eko (13:41):
Okay, I love that because you just people free.
Everybody always has to gotogether to the same place and
do the same thing.
Yeah, it just creates morestress than it's worth.
So thank you for saying that.
So question for the people whoare thinking what do I do with
my spouse?
I want to have some time withmy spouse and even vacationing
(14:05):
with each kid.
I have some time with my spouseand if I'm vacationing with
each kid?
Dina Farmer (14:14):
So then, at what point do you vacation with
spouse or how do we build thatbond between you and your
partner?
I have two really greatsuggestions.
The first one is, if you'retraveling, you can have that
respite care provider come alongand they can actually watch
your children in your hotel roomfor you and you and your spouse
can go spend some time togetherwhile you're on your big family
vacation, if you want.
If you book a cruise or anall-inclusive resort, they also
(14:35):
have kids clubs.
If you want to keep your childin the kids club from the second
it's open to the second it'sclosed at nighttime you can,
it's enough.
It's.
Of course, if your child's notpotty trained, you're going to
have to come back and changethem, because they don't do that
for certain ages and up at kidsclubs.
They just will ask.
They'll probably call you onthe phone to say, hey, can you
(14:57):
come and change them or feedthem if they have really
restricted diets, for example?
The last thing is it's hard forus as military families, right,
because our families areusually not near us, but if you
have a family member that youtrust a lot, then maybe going on
a short weekend getaway anddropping them off at a family
(15:18):
member's house is okay.
I love cruises in particularbecause there's like three-day
cruises.
You're in and out and you getto spend time with your, your
spouse or your loved one, andthen you can come back refreshed
and renewed and there's so muchwellness that's going on with
cruise lands lately that it'sinsane.
It's like spas and meditationand mindfulness and yoga and
(15:39):
Pilates.
There's like so much, and eventhe spa services are like so
amazing.
So there's three options foryou.
There's always an opportunityif you find it.
You have to make time for that.
Dr. Eko (15:49):
Wow, thank you so much for opening our minds to
possibilities, because reallythat's what you've done.
You just opened so manyparents' minds to the
possibility that you know I cando this.
I'm not stuck in my house, sothank you so much.
And so where can parents findyou, find out more about what
you do, so they can connect andso where can parents find you,
find out more about what you doso they can connect?
Dina Farmer (16:11):
Sure, so I have a website, www.
spectrumgetaways.
com, and that's getaways with anS at the end.
I try to really be on the noseabout who I serve so that no
confusion.
Anyone pretty much in thedisabled community I can serve,
but I do help mostly familieswith autistic children, and I
live on Instagram and nowthreads as well same handle
Spectrum Getaways.
I have a blog, so if you areinterested in reading more about
(16:34):
the different types of autismtravel options that are out
there because it's emerging andI'm constantly updating it you
can see that as well.
Dr. Eko (16:44):
Oh, so wonderful.
And parents, please do yourselfa big favor and go connect with
miss farmer.
So thank you so much again forcoming on and please do us a big
favor share this with familiesand friends that need to hear
about life saving, becausetravel is education, travel can
be life saving, life savinginformation so that they they
(17:07):
can enrich their children'slives and they can enrich their
lives as well.
So have a wonderful dayeveryone, thank you.
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