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January 13, 2025 16 mins
This week on Brandi Glanville Unfiltered, Brandi is truly unfiltered as she lays down the state of the world from her point of view. With all of the LA fires still raging, she put on her research cap to look into cloud seeding and gives practical advice for anyone who must leave their cars while evacuating. 

 Later on, Brandi tells us why Nikki Glazer didn’t quite hit the mark while hosting the Golden Globes because her comedy might be a bit too raunchy for this kind of event! All of this and more with even more personal tea! 
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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Straw Hut Media. Wow from straw Hut Media. This is
Brandy Glanville on the film. Hey guys, it's Brandy gland Belt.
I'm filtered, and it's Brandy blam Belt. I have a

(00:21):
like a blue light in my ears, so if I
sound weird. Whatever, the winds are coming, man, they are
fucking here. Everything in my backyard is knocked over, and
I'm scared, honestly, like, who ever thought that wind could
be scary? The only thing I thought about yesterday I

(00:42):
was walking a friend started to just jump into this,
but I took an edible again and I said, I'm
just worried about the fires. I feel like they should
just go and drop, you know, retard it everywhere and whatever.
And I'm talking to a doctor and he's like, yeah, maybe,
He's like, it's probably just fake news. You guys, this

(01:03):
is not fake news. We've got evacuation alerts happening for
all of Chipanga. Then we got one for emergency. Kristin
and I both got it for near your home, be
ready and active. Well, I clearly can't drive right now,
so my friend is coming over. But that said, fuck,
this is crazy. This is some biblical shit. What the

(01:25):
actual fuck this is in oh happy New Year brother way,
Like it's this is nuts. I don't know what to say, honestly,
Like I'm just blown Oh my god, I'm blown away.
I just said that, and when I said it, I
realized that was horrible but actually fundy at the same time.
But I am blown away. Well, half the houses and

(01:48):
a lot of people and friends are being evacuated and
staying with friends and friends. You guys can always come
to Calabaster. I told you I have an extra room.
It is Jake's because he's had his dad's and it
is messy, so quidato, I will clean it for you.
If the four friends I have that live in Santa
Monica or Malibu. Actually there's more. Fuck. Maybe I'm a

(02:13):
bad friend. I haven't reached I mean I've reached out.
My dog is like I'll take a video of him
in a minute. He's just like pawing at the back
door like I want to go out. But he doesn't
realize he's an eleven pounds Shuahua from d Night's California,
and he will get swept the fuck away. Yeah he
will for sure, right, buddy, No blowjobs today, My god,

(02:33):
I'm hilarious right now. I don't know if you guys know,
but this weekend is Ryan's walk, my producer and friend,
even though I don't talked to him that much anymore.
It's kind of sad he does his annual walk for
his birthday. Such a Capricorn thing to do. I think
it's like, make everyone that you know walk and work

(02:54):
for you, to make sure that you know you're in
charge and you're the hefe. But it's okay. What I'm
worried about is that air quality for them, because obviously
I'm not going. I usually just go to one spot
they stop and get like reparations or is that what's
called libations libations at different like taco places. I don't

(03:14):
know what they do. I try not to pay attention,
but I do go and I'm like, wish you happy birthday,
blah blah. And I'm just worried this year about the
air quality. Like I don't think that on Saturday they
should be out walking. That's my personal opinion, and I
think if Rrion wants them to, it says a lot
about his character as a person. Anyway, moving on, this

(03:37):
year sucks so far. It's fucking shit. And do you
know what I realized. I looked at the calendar today
because my neighbor across the street, his dad's an artists
and he has like a puppy calendar. So hanging up
because I'm like an old school girl and this is
the first year in a long time where it starts

(03:57):
Wednesday Thursday Friday, Like, what the fuck? Get it like?
Wednesday Thursday Friday, That's what it says. And then Saturday,
what the fuck shit? I don't know. Sunday shit, what
the fuck? Shit? Shit? Monday, mayb Tuesday to head with you,
I have no idea, but just know that I personally

(04:20):
am having a breakdown, as you have all probably figured
out by now, and I hope this gives you some
comfort and some like joy at this time. Also, I
think that my job's addicted to opiates. He hates taking pills,
but now when I go to give him his pill

(04:41):
for his coughing, he licks his lips like he's ready
to go sky high. It's really disturbing. Also, we have videos,
as you guys have seen on Instagram. Hopefully if not,
you should follow me because I have some really funny
videos of my animals. I love animal videos the most
because you can't really plan them or fake them unless
it's a cat, then we know it's planned. If people

(05:03):
got this, they're smarter than you are. They're like, oh,
they're setting up for my shot on the star, get
out of my way. Show me the camera docs showed
dumb or but I love them. That's why I've had
cats and dogs. I love them both. I'm going off,
but I'm gonna submit the sixty nine time even to
funniest home videos, because there is no actual animal sex.

(05:27):
I looked at it and it's more like wrestling and
inappropriate ways, you know what I mean. Like the butt
is in the face and it looks like there's sixty ninety,
but there's actual no penetration and no location and nothing
like that. So yeah, I'm gonna enter that because you
guys accounted today have four months of rent left before.

(05:49):
I don't know what I'm gonna do, and I still
don't know what I'm gonna do. It's really fun to
be me right now. And then I got some really
hideous news the sea, and I can't tell you what
it is right now, but I promise it went along
with this fucking windstorm. Not really I can't say that
because we're not losing our home and all of that stuff.

(06:10):
But it was just real shit news for the new
year that you just don't want to hear. You're like, okay,
I was just like, okay, happy New Year, Like what
the actual actual fuck? What else? Yeah, So trying on
a lighter note. I mean, the winds are scaring the
fuck out of me, and I'm sure everyone's miserable. But
I used up my hot spot on my phone, like

(06:33):
all the entire hotspots, so I have no internet and
I have no hotspot and everything's down. So I decided
to talk to you guys, my friends. Oh shit, Oh
that wreath in the front of the front door is
having a little moment. It's going nuts. The dogs. The
dogs are going nuts. They knew before this started, so
weird to me. Dogs know when there's like an earthquake

(06:55):
or like something crazy is coming. What I don't understand
is if we know how to like cloud seed and
all that, why don't we wait till there's a time
not between obviously five pm and ten or ten pm
and five am tonight and tomorrow, because that's when they
said it's going to get the worst, Like they want
to make a stay up and fear, and that's exactly

(07:16):
what I'm going to do. So good good job, guys.
But my larger thought is we cloud We make clouds
so on like a little tiny level, we kind of
control the weather. So what the fuck are we doing?
Why are we not cloud seeding right over the Palisades
right fucking now? And I know it takes calm the skies.

(07:39):
I'm aware of this. I did look into it in
order to cloud seed. But it hasn't been crazy all day. Yes,
it's been a little bit ness, but you could get
some baby little dumplings up there and sprinkle some you know,
rain down. We I mean, I really believe that we
could just put a giant, you know, fire hose in

(08:01):
the ocean and spray it all down. I don't know
why I'm thinking these things and these people are like
not doing it. I'm maybe I'm just ahead of my time,
or maybe I'm a fucking idiot in an asshole. There's
those things. I watched the Golden Globes, ish I saw

(08:28):
Zoe Saldana like get up and be excited for her role.
That I mean, it was her role, but she was
taking the Award for the song, which I don't care
because she is amazing and I love her in my
nest and pretty much everything she does. So and that
song she performed, I think if it's the one where
she was like rapping and going oh with her chest,

(08:48):
then she should be up there too. I don't know.
I feel like everyone that worked on something that should
go up. That's my that's my truth. I think Zoe
probably thought everyone's gonna go up, and she just happened
to be the closest table because she's got a million nominations.
But I could be wrong. Again. Oh, let's talk about
what's her face that hosted the Golden Globes. I do

(09:13):
like her. Her name is Nikki Glazier Glazier. I think
it's Glazier or Glazier, But I mean, I know who
she is. Obviously, she's very well known in my house.
She's very liked in my house. I think that it's
hard to do a show by yourself, like I was,
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler I hope got their names right,
or like I mean, Bedley Crystal can do anything. But

(09:34):
he also had a ton of other people in his skits,
and like he he like poked dad joke fun at everyone.
It wasn't it wasn't so like Tom Brady come in
my face jokes. So I don't know. I don't think
people were getting it. That's what I heard from my friends.
They were just like, she's just too inappropriate for this show.

(09:57):
And listen, you know, I love some inappropriate and on occasion,
but where it's supposed to be. I think she did
a good job. I think that we all know now
that she can sing. I think that was a little
self serving, but she's a funny girl. That's a lot
of pressure. I don't think that well. I know I
couldn't have done it, but I would have had like

(10:18):
eighty five guest co hosts and co stars, and I
will completely Billy crystaled it. And you could see those
men in the audience, like Seth Myers and like he
was like laughing at her, not with her when her
jokes didn't land. And I don't like men that fucking
do that, because he probably wrote the joke for her, thinking,
you know what, I'm gonna give this to the bitch

(10:39):
because they asked her, not me, I'm gonna make her bomb.
She did not bomb. She did well, but I just
think men are just fucking assholes, not everyone obviously, just
people in competition roles with women. So yeah, that's that
was my Golden Globes. Like I don't did I have
a moment. I loved the Melissa McCarthy the outfit because

(11:02):
she was taking up the whole stage and did not
give two fucks. She's like Aquafina who and you could
tell she she likes Aquafina, but she did not give
two fucks like she looked amazing. She was one of
the only hosts that really it just seemed natural when
she was doing it. Everyone else you could tell they
we're reading and they weren't hitting their jokes at all,
so and oh fuck, can we talk about them anymore?

(11:24):
Thank god she won. I cannot believe that she has
never won a Golden Lug in her entire life. That
is insane to me. And I loved her speech. And
I'm here to say, like women over fifty, sixty, seventy
and beyond, we are not expired, we are not like
just baby makers, and then kick us to the curb.
We can do shit that y'all can't fucking do, and

(11:48):
you're jealous of us. So you try to make us expendable,
and we're not going that way because you guys know
that you need us one hundred percent still to take
care of you and to take care of your response children.
So I mean that's the next role is grandma. And
that doesn't mean I'm still not going to be who
I am. Well I look like a fucking gramdma right now,

(12:08):
but be myself, like my inappropriate self. It's so silent
here I could put music on, but then I couldn't record,
So this is what you get, and I don't know
what to talk about, like what else is going on
in this world besides like we're burning our whole city

(12:29):
to the ground, Like how did this fire start? Do
we even know? I mean, obviously we knew when they
said life threatening wins, I've never heard that in my life.
And when I heard that in the radio, I was like,
are these people just trying to fuck with my mental
health because it's already very fragile, But no, I mean
this is life threatening, So oh yeah, this is what

(12:52):
I say. I was listening to like Katla in the morning,
like channel five, and it was on my computer when
I still had eight, Like my percentage of my hot
spot to use, which now I have none. That's why
I'm talking to you, guys. It said that this guy,
Steve Gutenberg, hello, three minute and a baby. They're like,

(13:12):
what's your name, sir? And they were he was on
the news and he's like, I'm want name is Steve Gutenberg,
And even just his voice, I knew who it was
in a moment, and plus I know the name. You
guys have to look them up. But he's kind of gangster.
I don't know, like he might not be your demographic,
but he was definitely like super hot with Tom Selleck,
and I think he was Tom like other people on

(13:34):
a show. I'm on a moviees like mostly movies, and
then he did some shows. Anyway, he was like being
the superhero and trying to move cars, and he was
like yelling at people about leaving their car without their
key in it, Like, if you leave your car, at
least leave the key in it so you can move
it so the fire trucks can get through. That was
his whole situation. That was his whole ted talk, and
it worked because now that's all I can think about.

(13:56):
And then a retired fireman called in and he was
so smart too. And it's sometimes funny when you listen
to the news instead of watch it, how much more
you take in and like it set it like sets in.
So what else is happening? Do you? I don't fucking know.
I feel like we've gone over everything right now, the

(14:20):
Golden Globes, the that was Ryan's walk. I didn't tell
you guys my medical update, but and I'm not going to.
I am going to tell you that the medical medium
Anthony has reached out to me because he's friends with
my friend and I've been speaking to him and I
am on his regimen and I'm down for what he's

(14:44):
thinking anything that could work. I'm fucking here for I'll
do anything. At this point, another friend of mine is like,
oh my god, we so have to get over this
like health situation, this health talk. Fuck you, yeah, I
would love to do you think I want to complain, like,
don't call me you This is my story right now.
I'm sick of being sick, and I'm sick of hearing

(15:04):
myself complain, and I'm sick of everything. I'm sick of
the way. Look, I'm sick of like just hiding out
my house. I'm sick of being sick. So if it
bothers you and you're my friend, and you call me
and tell me we have to get over this like
sick talk, I agree. I would like to get over
the sickness altogether, which I think I'm doing right now

(15:27):
as my feet are in a footpath and I have
a blue light in my ear. I don't know. For
some reason, I'm feeling this could be like sinus related
on a part. Don't ask me, because I have a
me DM anyway, the medium anyway, I love you, guys.
I hope you guys. I know you didn't have a

(15:47):
great fucking New Year if you live in California because
of everything that's happening right now with the winds. But
let's try to be more positive moving forward. I'm saying
that to myself right now. I hope you realize that,
because I mean where to go about? Up? Whoop, whoop up, Up,
Up up Up. Have your birthday, Ryan. Thanks for listening
to Brandy Glanville Unfiltered. Download new episodes every week and

(16:10):
if you haven't already subscribed, and be sure to leave
us a rating and review. And while you're at it,
check out some of the other great shows available on
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