April 1, 2025 • 25 mins
Brandon shares a missing piece of his previous relationship story and reveals how his journey through college at Wright State transformed his confidence and self-image.
Please start with Episode 1. Go to my site BrandonHeld.com
• Recalls a moment when his girlfriend's attractiveness to other gym-goers affected how he perceived their relationship
• Contrasts his isolating experience at Minot State with the sense of belonging he found at Wright State
• Details his struggle with Spanish classes while pursuing a mass communications degree
• Shares his disappointment when learning the realistic challenges of becoming a sports broadcaster
• Explains his transition from server to bartender at Applebee's and the workplace dynamics this created
• Recounts his journey to embracing baldness after premature hair loss in his mid-twenties
• Tells a memorable confidence-boosting story involving two women at the bar that validated his new look
• Hints at his eventual transition from bartending to his first career job in sales
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
Welcome back to Brandon Held Life is Crazy,
Episode 10.
And so I went through my secondsignificant relationship and
brief marriage on the lastepisode and I was re-listening
(00:22):
to the episode and I realized Ileft out a significant part of
the story.
And the reason it's significantis because when you're young,
you're mid-20s, and you're stilltrying to find your way in life,
both as a man and beingrespected by your peers and all
(00:45):
those things, a lot of thingshappen along the way that
influence that feeling and thosedecisions.
And so...
One part of the story that Ileft out that I need to tell
because it impacted how I feltabout my relationship with Angie
(01:06):
is at the gym where we workedout at Wright State.
When you want to come into thegym, you got to walk down this
hall to come into the gym, whichpasses everyone that's working
out.
And that hall had windows up.
So you could see right into theworkout area and obviously the
(01:27):
workout, people working outcould see you as well.
And I was there and I wasworking shoulders and I knew
Angie was coming in to work outbecause we were newly dating at
this point.
And she was walking by thewindows to come in to the gym
(01:48):
and a group of my buddies werehuddled up.
that I would say we were likegreat friends that hung out
outside of school and stuff.
I talked to all them, almost allof them pretty significantly.
And they were huddled up overthere by the window and I was
walking their direction to justtalk with them.
Just say, hey guys, what's goingon?
(02:09):
There's about eight to 10 ofthem.
And then as I'm walking in theirdirection, Angie comes walking
by the window to work her wayinto the gym.
And one of the guy go, one ofthe guys go, oh my God, here she
is.
Here she comes.
And then I just hear likeeveryone else chiming in.
(02:30):
Oh yeah, she's so hot.
This girl is so hot.
And they're all saying all thesethings about her.
And I'm still standing on theoutside and it, cause I had
never quite made it to thecircle, but I overheard all of
them.
So I didn't go over and sayanything to them.
(02:52):
I don't know why.
I don't know what it was.
So I just turned around and Iwent back to the bench that I
was sitting on.
And when I did that, she walkedinto the gym and she made her
way towards me.
And then she sat down behind meon the bench that I was sitting
on and kissed me on the back ofmy neck.
(03:15):
And when she did that, I justheard this collective groan of,
oh, no.
Like all my friends and peoplethat I worked out with at the
gym knew me.
This was their introduction tothe fact that they were dating
and I could feel the jealousycoming from them.
I could feel that they were soupset that she was taken and I
(03:36):
was the one that had taken her.
And that was a significantmoment because.
That weighed heavily on how Ilooked at her and saw her
because I realized just howeveryone else saw her too.
And when you have that in yourmind, it changes the way you see
(03:57):
someone.
So that was also part of whatwas hard to break away from her
is I knew she would never haveany problem finding someone else
and rebounding and being withsomeone else.
I knew that wouldn't be anissue.
And so that was just a part ofthat journey that I wanted to
(04:20):
share with you.
And I now want to backtrack intojust my time at Wright State
because it was important, right?
At Minot State, I...
knew some people and I went toschool and I saw people at
school and that was it.
I didn't connect with anyone.
(04:40):
I didn't make any male friends.
Nothing.
I just felt like I didn't belongthere.
I didn't belong in North Dakota.
I didn't feel like I belonged.
And I went there three years.
But when I went to Wright State,totally different story.
I just made a bunch of goodfriends, hung out with all them.
I was a I would eventually, forpart-time work, become a
(05:05):
bartender at Red Lobster with myroommate Jeff.
And not only did we livetogether, we would be bartending
together.
So that was fun.
That was a good time.
We would go out to the clubtogether on Thursday night, a
place called Wallabies.
And it was just a really goodtime in my life.
(05:28):
It was fun.
It was great outside of thestress zone.
of actual school, which wasstressful for me because I
wanted to be a broadcaster.
I wanted to have a broadcastingcareer.
And at Wright State, theirclosest option to that was mass
communications.
And in that mass communicationsprogram, you had to have five
(05:52):
quarters of a foreign language.
So I was deeply intimidated bythis.
And so I asked everyone aroundand everyone collectively said
Spanish was the easiest languageto learn.
And I took Spanish and I was notgood at a foreign language.
Not at all.
(06:13):
I, through all the studying andhard work, I'm telling you, I
put more hours and work intoSpanish than I did collectively
with all the other courses thatI took.
So.
Even doing that, I still wasbarely able to squeak through
(06:34):
Spanish.
And when I say squeak throughthe last two semesters of
Spanish, 201 and 202, I got D's.
They're the only D's I got atthe undergraduate level.
But I was happy with a D, as sadas that was, because it was that
hard to me.
You know, when I got to the 200level series and I had only
(06:54):
taken three Spanish classesprior to that, The instructor
was basically, day one was like,I'm only going to talk to you in
Spanish.
At this point in your education,you should know how to fluently
speak Spanish.
And so I'm just going to talk inSpanish.
I wasn't even close to that,right?
I was at the point where I couldbarely understand some words and
(07:19):
translate those words, butthere's no way in heck I was
going to turn around and talkback and speak in Spanish.
And I made that clear to myprofessors embarrassingly, and
they drug me along the classes,and I struggled to get through.
But I did get through.
(07:40):
And I guess it was thatdifficulty and that turmoil that
was one of the reasons that whenI finally did graduate, I was
just so happy to graduate.
Don't get me wrong.
I was loving college life,loving it.
It was great.
I would get up and I would go toschool.
(08:02):
I would work out in between mymorning classes and go back to
classes.
And then in the afternoonclasses, I would work out again.
And on the weekdays, that was mylife.
But on the weekends, I wouldalso throw in bartending at Red
Lobster.
(08:23):
And it was just a great time.
It was a carefree, relaxing,great time outside of the stress
of studying and trying to getthrough school.
And so when I did graduate withmy bachelor's degree from Wright
State, I was so excited that Ihad done it because A, I told
(08:47):
you my story.
initial where I came from onschool and how school was really
difficult for me.
And I barely got out of highschool with a 1.5 GPA and I
didn't think I was anythingclose to ever being college
material.
And here I am now graduatingcollege, which is something I
(09:11):
never thought would happen witha 2.6 GPA and a bachelor's
degree, which also still not agood GPA.
But improvement for me,improvement for this 1.5 GPA
high school guy.
And another part of this is Iwas spending my time at the
(09:37):
local Fox and NBC stationinterning.
That's the word I couldn't comeup with right now, interning.
And they were really just havingme sit behind a operator
switchboard and just flipswitches.
And, and they were, some of theguys there were telling me that
were doing this, that they haddegrees and they wanted to be on
(10:00):
air talent and they couldn't geton the air.
And so I started asking aroundand learning more about how to
pursue my dream of being asportscaster and everyone was
just really I don't know ifnegative is the right word or
realistic, but it was reallyoff-putting.
(10:22):
It really steered me away fromeverything that I thought I was
working for.
And so I was basically beingtold I had the same odds of
becoming a play-by-play man incollege basketball or the NBA or
(10:42):
the NFL or college football asan actor has to make it in
Hollywood.
Amazingly lucky and talented, oryou need to know someone who can
get you a job that you can dothat.
And I was like, shoot, how can Ieven, I haven't even had a
chance to be on air yet.
So I don't know that I'm goingto be amazingly talented.
(11:05):
And I certainly don't knowanyone who That can get me on
air.
And then they were talking aboutthe kind of hours you have to
work and travel and all thisstuff that made me realize if I
wanted to be a family man,didn't sound realistic with that
kind of lifestyle.
And so everything that happenedjust totally scared me away from
(11:29):
wanting to be a broadcasteranymore, from wanting to do
sports play by play.
It felt like this impossibledream.
that was now out of reach eventhough I had gone to school for
this very thing and here I wasin my last year of school trying
to complete school to worktowards this and now I felt like
(11:52):
I have just done all this fornothing I had just gone to
school for this degree to worktowards this career and it just
wasn't going to pan out and soThat was really disheartening.
And that's what led me to a lotof the struggle that I had.
(12:12):
And towards the end of mycollege, I had taken a break
from Red Lobster because I wasinterning and I didn't have the
same kind of time I had before.
So I left there.
And then when I got doneinterning, but hadn't quite
graduated yet, I decided to gobe a server at Applebee's, which
(12:33):
I had done before.
In Minot, when I was in collegeat Minot State.
And then like in a month's time,really super fast of being there
at Applebee's, the bar managerapproaches me and says, Hey,
Brandon, we need a bartender.
Would you like to become abartender?
(12:54):
And I said, yeah, absolutely.
Everyone knew being a bartenderwas better than being a server.
And holy crap, did that cause somany problems.
I guess there were threewaitresses there.
One of them, she had been therethree years.
They've been asking continuouslyand constantly, can they be a
(13:18):
bartender?
They wanted to be a bartender,right?
And here I come in one month andI get promoted to bartender
without even asking.
They approached me.
And it created all kinds ofdrama, including some hatred
towards me.
And I tried to smooth that overas much as I could and say, hey,
(13:40):
I didn't ask for this.
This was given to me, but itdidn't really matter.
Some people were angry with me.
But also life goes on.
I got to do what I got to do.
So I learned to become abartender.
I became a bartender inApplebee's in 2009.
It was good for what it was atthe time, right?
(14:02):
It was this thing that I woulddo to make some money to get by
before, you know, I tried to geta quote unquote real career and
make my life go on a differentpath, a different journey.
And one day the bar managerapproached me after I had been
(14:24):
there several months or more.
And she knew I was getting readyto graduate from college.
And she was like, hey, we wantto invite you to be a manager at
the Applebee's.
We want you to be one of ourmanagers.
And like, just instinctively,immediately, I was like, no, I
(14:45):
don't want to do that.
I don't want to be in therestaurant business.
And there were reasons for that,right?
I saw my general manager.
He worked hard.
insane hours, like 80 hours aweek, making like$50,000 a year.
And A,$50,000 a year wasn'tenough money for me.
(15:09):
It wasn't the kind of careeraspirations I had.
And B, I believe in work-lifebalance.
I don't believe in this workingyour life away situation.
So I just instinctively rightaway said, no, I'm not, I didn't
want to do that.
(15:29):
And it changed my relationshipthere a little bit with the
managers.
They, I could tell they werecourting me, if you will, which
was the whole reason behind thequick promotion from server to
bartender and then bartender topotentially manager.
So it Going to work wasn't quiteas fun.
(15:52):
I didn't have quite the goldenboy feeling that I had before
because I was treated reallywell.
And I just enjoyed being thereand I had a good time.
But one of the best stories ofmy young life comes out of me
being a bartender in Applebee's.
(16:13):
So I was...
Working at Applebee's and atthis point in my life at, I
believe I was about 27 at thispoint, maybe 28, somewhere
around there, I had been shavingmy head.
I had started going bald incollege and I was wearing just
(16:35):
baseball caps all the time, allthe time because I had a really
high blood pressure.
hairline on my forehead and Iwas losing my hair on my
forehead and I was in my midtwenties and it was devastating
to me and I was embarrassed byit.
And I'm always wearing hats allthe time and I was smart.
(16:55):
I wore a light purple Nike hat,which really made my blue eyes
pop out and it really worked forme.
I would get complimented on myeyes all the time.
And I knew it was this hat thatwas making that happen.
And so I, at one point realizedI can't always wear a hat,
(17:18):
right?
Everywhere I go, I can't wear ahat.
And sometimes I had to take myhat off and just be like
incredibly embarrassed aboutthis balling head that I had at
such a early age.
And so I decided to just shaveit all off.
I just shaved my head.
and got rid of my hair.
(17:39):
And I was like, let's just doit.
Hair grows back.
Let's see how it goes.
And it went overwhelmingly well.
Like when I went back to collegeand showed my friends and
college peers and stuff, andthey were seeing me, this white
guy with this bald head, whichwas incredibly unique in the
(18:04):
late 90s, early 2000s.
It went overwhelmingly well withgreat reception.
People were, oh, you look sogood.
You got such a great head forthat.
And so it just went so great.
I was like, I'm shaving my headfor the rest of my life.
And so that was the start of meshaving my head and I've been
(18:27):
shaving my head ever since.
But the reason I tell you thatis because when I was a
bartender, I Had this one night,bald head, goatee, go to this
table with these four or fiveredneckish hillbilly type dudes.
They were cool, but that's whatthey were.
They were wearing baseball capsand they had long hair, maybe
(18:51):
some mullets, who knows.
Their hair was covered, but theyall had hair.
And they were just like, oh myGod, dude, you're bald, right?
And they were like, they weretrying to shit on me because I
didn't have hair.
And I was yucking it up, playingalong, right?
A, because they're the customer.
B, I needed a tip.
And C, like, I wasn't sensitiveabout it.
(19:12):
I knew that it was working forme.
And why would I care if fivedudes want to make fun?
I don't care.
I'm not trying to hook up withdudes.
I don't like dudes.
So let them think whatever theywant to think.
So I was telling them likestraight up, no, you guys have
no idea.
This shit's working.
(19:32):
Like you all have hair.
Nothing makes you unique.
I'm bald and this shit'sworking.
And they just laughed at melike, yeah, like I was talking
out my ass.
And then I went and got themtheir drinks.
And right as I did that,immediately next to them, these
two cute, young, 21-year-oldgirls sit down next to them.
(19:55):
And so...
I go up to greet these girls andask them for their drink order.
And immediately within fiveseconds of meeting these girls,
oh my God, I love your baldhead.
It's so sexy.
This one girl doesn't even askme.
She just reaches up and startsrubbing my head.
(20:17):
Right.
And they're like both ultimatelyflirting with me within seconds.
And they see all this that'sgoing on.
So they're flirting with me andone goes, Hey, it's my 21st
birthday.
We're going out dancing afterthis.
What do I got to get you do togo out dancing with me?
And her friend is, no, I wanthim to come with me.
(20:40):
I don't want him to come withyou.
And he's, and they're like goingback and forth arguing over me
on who gets to take me outdancing with them, whatever.
And, and it was funny.
crazy because it was withinright away they don't know
anything about me I don't evenknow if they knew my name at
this point maybe I hadintroduced myself and these guys
(21:04):
next to the table they see allthis happening right they hear
it they see it and I was feelingballsy I was feeling brave like
they were both feeling me andwhen I felt like I had something
to prove so I They were bothhitting on me and I said, hey,
there's enough of me to goaround for both of you.
And they laughed and chuckled orwhatever.
(21:26):
And I said, I'll tell you what.
I said, I'll leave with you if Ican leave with the both of you
and be with both of you.
And they just looked at eachother, looked at me and laughed.
And they said, all right, you goget our drinks and we'll let you
know, you know.
what we think when you get back.
So I left and I went back and Imade their drinks.
(21:51):
And when I got back, they said,okay, we agreed.
We decided we both want you.
So we're just going to shareyou.
So we actually happen to beroommates and this is our
address and this is our phonenumber.
And you come to our place whenyou get off work and we'll be
(22:11):
there waiting for you.
And they saw all this happening.
Right.
And so I took that information.
I left and I went back to theother table to help the guys and
say, all right, guys, I didn'teven address what had just
happened.
I said, all right, guys, whatcan I get you to eat?
(22:32):
What do you need to eat?
And they just looked at me andthey were like, I'm going home
and I'm shaving my head tonight.
And it was just insane.
It was hilarious.
And then it was fun.
I had a good night, a good time.
And then when I left work thatnight, I took them up on that
offer.
I showed up at their apartmentand I had my first threesome.
(22:54):
You heard that right.
My first threesome.
This is the story.
That was the first time I everhad a threesome.
I didn't know their names.
I never saw them again.
I had a threesome with them,left.
And that was the end of thatnight.
And that was the end of me evertalking to or seeing both of
those girls.
(23:15):
And so, yeah, those are somewild college stories, situations
that I dealt with.
But man, what a confidencebooster, right?
What a confidence booster to beable to just boldly say
something like that to two womenyou don't even know at all.
And just have them be like,okay, we're down.
(23:37):
It might sound like me bragging.
And I am proud of it.
Don't get me wrong.
But all these things aresignificant.
They significantly change whoyou are, right?
They change your pride inyourself.
They change your belief inyourself.
They change the way you see theworld a little bit because you
(23:59):
realize that maybe you can getaway with some things some other
people can't get away with.
I ended up going on andgraduating from Wright State and
then I eventually would leaveApplebee's because I knew that
wasn't a career for me and I gotmy first quote-unquote career
(24:22):
job as a salesman and I willlean into that and tell you more
about that on the next episodeso thanks for joining.
Welcome back to Brandon Held Life is Crazy,
Episode 10.
And so I went through my secondsignificant relationship and
brief marriage on the lastepisode and I was re-listening
(00:22):
to the episode and I realized Ileft out a significant part of
the story.
And the reason it's significantis because when you're young,
you're mid-20s, and you're stilltrying to find your way in life,
both as a man and beingrespected by your peers and all
(00:45):
those things, a lot of thingshappen along the way that
influence that feeling and thosedecisions.
And so...
One part of the story that Ileft out that I need to tell
because it impacted how I feltabout my relationship with Angie
(01:06):
is at the gym where we workedout at Wright State.
When you want to come into thegym, you got to walk down this
hall to come into the gym, whichpasses everyone that's working
out.
And that hall had windows up.
So you could see right into theworkout area and obviously the
(01:27):
workout, people working outcould see you as well.
And I was there and I wasworking shoulders and I knew
Angie was coming in to work outbecause we were newly dating at
this point.
And she was walking by thewindows to come in to the gym
(01:48):
and a group of my buddies werehuddled up.
that I would say we were likegreat friends that hung out
outside of school and stuff.
I talked to all them, almost allof them pretty significantly.
And they were huddled up overthere by the window and I was
walking their direction to justtalk with them.
Just say, hey guys, what's goingon?
(02:09):
There's about eight to 10 ofthem.
And then as I'm walking in theirdirection, Angie comes walking
by the window to work her wayinto the gym.
And one of the guy go, one ofthe guys go, oh my God, here she
is.
Here she comes.
And then I just hear likeeveryone else chiming in.
(02:30):
Oh yeah, she's so hot.
This girl is so hot.
And they're all saying all thesethings about her.
And I'm still standing on theoutside and it, cause I had
never quite made it to thecircle, but I overheard all of
them.
So I didn't go over and sayanything to them.
(02:52):
I don't know why.
I don't know what it was.
So I just turned around and Iwent back to the bench that I
was sitting on.
And when I did that, she walkedinto the gym and she made her
way towards me.
And then she sat down behind meon the bench that I was sitting
on and kissed me on the back ofmy neck.
(03:15):
And when she did that, I justheard this collective groan of,
oh, no.
Like all my friends and peoplethat I worked out with at the
gym knew me.
This was their introduction tothe fact that they were dating
and I could feel the jealousycoming from them.
I could feel that they were soupset that she was taken and I
(03:36):
was the one that had taken her.
And that was a significantmoment because.
That weighed heavily on how Ilooked at her and saw her
because I realized just howeveryone else saw her too.
And when you have that in yourmind, it changes the way you see
(03:57):
someone.
So that was also part of whatwas hard to break away from her
is I knew she would never haveany problem finding someone else
and rebounding and being withsomeone else.
I knew that wouldn't be anissue.
And so that was just a part ofthat journey that I wanted to
(04:20):
share with you.
And I now want to backtrack intojust my time at Wright State
because it was important, right?
At Minot State, I...
knew some people and I went toschool and I saw people at
school and that was it.
I didn't connect with anyone.
(04:40):
I didn't make any male friends.
Nothing.
I just felt like I didn't belongthere.
I didn't belong in North Dakota.
I didn't feel like I belonged.
And I went there three years.
But when I went to Wright State,totally different story.
I just made a bunch of goodfriends, hung out with all them.
I was a I would eventually, forpart-time work, become a
(05:05):
bartender at Red Lobster with myroommate Jeff.
And not only did we livetogether, we would be bartending
together.
So that was fun.
That was a good time.
We would go out to the clubtogether on Thursday night, a
place called Wallabies.
And it was just a really goodtime in my life.
(05:28):
It was fun.
It was great outside of thestress zone.
of actual school, which wasstressful for me because I
wanted to be a broadcaster.
I wanted to have a broadcastingcareer.
And at Wright State, theirclosest option to that was mass
communications.
And in that mass communicationsprogram, you had to have five
(05:52):
quarters of a foreign language.
So I was deeply intimidated bythis.
And so I asked everyone aroundand everyone collectively said
Spanish was the easiest languageto learn.
And I took Spanish and I was notgood at a foreign language.
Not at all.
(06:13):
I, through all the studying andhard work, I'm telling you, I
put more hours and work intoSpanish than I did collectively
with all the other courses thatI took.
So.
Even doing that, I still wasbarely able to squeak through
(06:34):
Spanish.
And when I say squeak throughthe last two semesters of
Spanish, 201 and 202, I got D's.
They're the only D's I got atthe undergraduate level.
But I was happy with a D, as sadas that was, because it was that
hard to me.
You know, when I got to the 200level series and I had only
(06:54):
taken three Spanish classesprior to that, The instructor
was basically, day one was like,I'm only going to talk to you in
Spanish.
At this point in your education,you should know how to fluently
speak Spanish.
And so I'm just going to talk inSpanish.
I wasn't even close to that,right?
I was at the point where I couldbarely understand some words and
(07:19):
translate those words, butthere's no way in heck I was
going to turn around and talkback and speak in Spanish.
And I made that clear to myprofessors embarrassingly, and
they drug me along the classes,and I struggled to get through.
But I did get through.
(07:40):
And I guess it was thatdifficulty and that turmoil that
was one of the reasons that whenI finally did graduate, I was
just so happy to graduate.
Don't get me wrong.
I was loving college life,loving it.
It was great.
I would get up and I would go toschool.
(08:02):
I would work out in between mymorning classes and go back to
classes.
And then in the afternoonclasses, I would work out again.
And on the weekdays, that was mylife.
But on the weekends, I wouldalso throw in bartending at Red
Lobster.
(08:23):
And it was just a great time.
It was a carefree, relaxing,great time outside of the stress
of studying and trying to getthrough school.
And so when I did graduate withmy bachelor's degree from Wright
State, I was so excited that Ihad done it because A, I told
(08:47):
you my story.
initial where I came from onschool and how school was really
difficult for me.
And I barely got out of highschool with a 1.5 GPA and I
didn't think I was anythingclose to ever being college
material.
And here I am now graduatingcollege, which is something I
(09:11):
never thought would happen witha 2.6 GPA and a bachelor's
degree, which also still not agood GPA.
But improvement for me,improvement for this 1.5 GPA
high school guy.
And another part of this is Iwas spending my time at the
(09:37):
local Fox and NBC stationinterning.
That's the word I couldn't comeup with right now, interning.
And they were really just havingme sit behind a operator
switchboard and just flipswitches.
And, and they were, some of theguys there were telling me that
were doing this, that they haddegrees and they wanted to be on
(10:00):
air talent and they couldn't geton the air.
And so I started asking aroundand learning more about how to
pursue my dream of being asportscaster and everyone was
just really I don't know ifnegative is the right word or
realistic, but it was reallyoff-putting.
(10:22):
It really steered me away fromeverything that I thought I was
working for.
And so I was basically beingtold I had the same odds of
becoming a play-by-play man incollege basketball or the NBA or
(10:42):
the NFL or college football asan actor has to make it in
Hollywood.
Amazingly lucky and talented, oryou need to know someone who can
get you a job that you can dothat.
And I was like, shoot, how can Ieven, I haven't even had a
chance to be on air yet.
So I don't know that I'm goingto be amazingly talented.
(11:05):
And I certainly don't knowanyone who That can get me on
air.
And then they were talking aboutthe kind of hours you have to
work and travel and all thisstuff that made me realize if I
wanted to be a family man,didn't sound realistic with that
kind of lifestyle.
And so everything that happenedjust totally scared me away from
(11:29):
wanting to be a broadcasteranymore, from wanting to do
sports play by play.
It felt like this impossibledream.
that was now out of reach eventhough I had gone to school for
this very thing and here I wasin my last year of school trying
to complete school to worktowards this and now I felt like
(11:52):
I have just done all this fornothing I had just gone to
school for this degree to worktowards this career and it just
wasn't going to pan out and soThat was really disheartening.
And that's what led me to a lotof the struggle that I had.
(12:12):
And towards the end of mycollege, I had taken a break
from Red Lobster because I wasinterning and I didn't have the
same kind of time I had before.
So I left there.
And then when I got doneinterning, but hadn't quite
graduated yet, I decided to gobe a server at Applebee's, which
(12:33):
I had done before.
In Minot, when I was in collegeat Minot State.
And then like in a month's time,really super fast of being there
at Applebee's, the bar managerapproaches me and says, Hey,
Brandon, we need a bartender.
Would you like to become abartender?
(12:54):
And I said, yeah, absolutely.
Everyone knew being a bartenderwas better than being a server.
And holy crap, did that cause somany problems.
I guess there were threewaitresses there.
One of them, she had been therethree years.
They've been asking continuouslyand constantly, can they be a
(13:18):
bartender?
They wanted to be a bartender,right?
And here I come in one month andI get promoted to bartender
without even asking.
They approached me.
And it created all kinds ofdrama, including some hatred
towards me.
And I tried to smooth that overas much as I could and say, hey,
(13:40):
I didn't ask for this.
This was given to me, but itdidn't really matter.
Some people were angry with me.
But also life goes on.
I got to do what I got to do.
So I learned to become abartender.
I became a bartender inApplebee's in 2009.
It was good for what it was atthe time, right?
(14:02):
It was this thing that I woulddo to make some money to get by
before, you know, I tried to geta quote unquote real career and
make my life go on a differentpath, a different journey.
And one day the bar managerapproached me after I had been
(14:24):
there several months or more.
And she knew I was getting readyto graduate from college.
And she was like, hey, we wantto invite you to be a manager at
the Applebee's.
We want you to be one of ourmanagers.
And like, just instinctively,immediately, I was like, no, I
(14:45):
don't want to do that.
I don't want to be in therestaurant business.
And there were reasons for that,right?
I saw my general manager.
He worked hard.
insane hours, like 80 hours aweek, making like$50,000 a year.
And A,$50,000 a year wasn'tenough money for me.
(15:09):
It wasn't the kind of careeraspirations I had.
And B, I believe in work-lifebalance.
I don't believe in this workingyour life away situation.
So I just instinctively rightaway said, no, I'm not, I didn't
want to do that.
(15:29):
And it changed my relationshipthere a little bit with the
managers.
They, I could tell they werecourting me, if you will, which
was the whole reason behind thequick promotion from server to
bartender and then bartender topotentially manager.
So it Going to work wasn't quiteas fun.
(15:52):
I didn't have quite the goldenboy feeling that I had before
because I was treated reallywell.
And I just enjoyed being thereand I had a good time.
But one of the best stories ofmy young life comes out of me
being a bartender in Applebee's.
(16:13):
So I was...
Working at Applebee's and atthis point in my life at, I
believe I was about 27 at thispoint, maybe 28, somewhere
around there, I had been shavingmy head.
I had started going bald incollege and I was wearing just
(16:35):
baseball caps all the time, allthe time because I had a really
high blood pressure.
hairline on my forehead and Iwas losing my hair on my
forehead and I was in my midtwenties and it was devastating
to me and I was embarrassed byit.
And I'm always wearing hats allthe time and I was smart.
(16:55):
I wore a light purple Nike hat,which really made my blue eyes
pop out and it really worked forme.
I would get complimented on myeyes all the time.
And I knew it was this hat thatwas making that happen.
And so I, at one point realizedI can't always wear a hat,
(17:18):
right?
Everywhere I go, I can't wear ahat.
And sometimes I had to take myhat off and just be like
incredibly embarrassed aboutthis balling head that I had at
such a early age.
And so I decided to just shaveit all off.
I just shaved my head.
and got rid of my hair.
(17:39):
And I was like, let's just doit.
Hair grows back.
Let's see how it goes.
And it went overwhelmingly well.
Like when I went back to collegeand showed my friends and
college peers and stuff, andthey were seeing me, this white
guy with this bald head, whichwas incredibly unique in the
(18:04):
late 90s, early 2000s.
It went overwhelmingly well withgreat reception.
People were, oh, you look sogood.
You got such a great head forthat.
And so it just went so great.
I was like, I'm shaving my headfor the rest of my life.
And so that was the start of meshaving my head and I've been
(18:27):
shaving my head ever since.
But the reason I tell you thatis because when I was a
bartender, I Had this one night,bald head, goatee, go to this
table with these four or fiveredneckish hillbilly type dudes.
They were cool, but that's whatthey were.
They were wearing baseball capsand they had long hair, maybe
(18:51):
some mullets, who knows.
Their hair was covered, but theyall had hair.
And they were just like, oh myGod, dude, you're bald, right?
And they were like, they weretrying to shit on me because I
didn't have hair.
And I was yucking it up, playingalong, right?
A, because they're the customer.
B, I needed a tip.
And C, like, I wasn't sensitiveabout it.
(19:12):
I knew that it was working forme.
And why would I care if fivedudes want to make fun?
I don't care.
I'm not trying to hook up withdudes.
I don't like dudes.
So let them think whatever theywant to think.
So I was telling them likestraight up, no, you guys have
no idea.
This shit's working.
(19:32):
Like you all have hair.
Nothing makes you unique.
I'm bald and this shit'sworking.
And they just laughed at melike, yeah, like I was talking
out my ass.
And then I went and got themtheir drinks.
And right as I did that,immediately next to them, these
two cute, young, 21-year-oldgirls sit down next to them.
(19:55):
And so...
I go up to greet these girls andask them for their drink order.
And immediately within fiveseconds of meeting these girls,
oh my God, I love your baldhead.
It's so sexy.
This one girl doesn't even askme.
She just reaches up and startsrubbing my head.
(20:17):
Right.
And they're like both ultimatelyflirting with me within seconds.
And they see all this that'sgoing on.
So they're flirting with me andone goes, Hey, it's my 21st
birthday.
We're going out dancing afterthis.
What do I got to get you do togo out dancing with me?
And her friend is, no, I wanthim to come with me.
(20:40):
I don't want him to come withyou.
And he's, and they're like goingback and forth arguing over me
on who gets to take me outdancing with them, whatever.
And, and it was funny.
crazy because it was withinright away they don't know
anything about me I don't evenknow if they knew my name at
this point maybe I hadintroduced myself and these guys
(21:04):
next to the table they see allthis happening right they hear
it they see it and I was feelingballsy I was feeling brave like
they were both feeling me andwhen I felt like I had something
to prove so I They were bothhitting on me and I said, hey,
there's enough of me to goaround for both of you.
And they laughed and chuckled orwhatever.
(21:26):
And I said, I'll tell you what.
I said, I'll leave with you if Ican leave with the both of you
and be with both of you.
And they just looked at eachother, looked at me and laughed.
And they said, all right, you goget our drinks and we'll let you
know, you know.
what we think when you get back.
So I left and I went back and Imade their drinks.
(21:51):
And when I got back, they said,okay, we agreed.
We decided we both want you.
So we're just going to shareyou.
So we actually happen to beroommates and this is our
address and this is our phonenumber.
And you come to our place whenyou get off work and we'll be
(22:11):
there waiting for you.
And they saw all this happening.
Right.
And so I took that information.
I left and I went back to theother table to help the guys and
say, all right, guys, I didn'teven address what had just
happened.
I said, all right, guys, whatcan I get you to eat?
(22:32):
What do you need to eat?
And they just looked at me andthey were like, I'm going home
and I'm shaving my head tonight.
And it was just insane.
It was hilarious.
And then it was fun.
I had a good night, a good time.
And then when I left work thatnight, I took them up on that
offer.
I showed up at their apartmentand I had my first threesome.
(22:54):
You heard that right.
My first threesome.
This is the story.
That was the first time I everhad a threesome.
I didn't know their names.
I never saw them again.
I had a threesome with them,left.
And that was the end of thatnight.
And that was the end of me evertalking to or seeing both of
those girls.
(23:15):
And so, yeah, those are somewild college stories, situations
that I dealt with.
But man, what a confidencebooster, right?
What a confidence booster to beable to just boldly say
something like that to two womenyou don't even know at all.
And just have them be like,okay, we're down.
(23:37):
It might sound like me bragging.
And I am proud of it.
Don't get me wrong.
But all these things aresignificant.
They significantly change whoyou are, right?
They change your pride inyourself.
They change your belief inyourself.
They change the way you see theworld a little bit because you
(23:59):
realize that maybe you can getaway with some things some other
people can't get away with.
I ended up going on andgraduating from Wright State and
then I eventually would leaveApplebee's because I knew that
wasn't a career for me and I gotmy first quote-unquote career
(24:22):
job as a salesman and I willlean into that and tell you more
about that on the next episodeso thanks for joining.
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