April 3, 2025 • 27 mins
I share the story of meeting and falling in love with Juliana from Brazil after months of online conversations, culminating in an eight-day trip that changed my life forever. What began as a skeptical first meeting transformed into the most magical experience of my life when I spontaneously proposed marriage.
Please start with Episode 1. Go to my site BrandonHeld.com
• Finding meaningful connection through international online dating
• How my work colleague Mindy helped me secure a remote job and became a lifelong friend
• Traveling 24 hours to Maragogi, Brazil for our first in-person meeting
• Experiencing immediate chemistry and comfort despite initial nervousness
• Proposing marriage within five days despite it being completely out of character for both of us
• Navigating the emotional airport goodbye and beginning the fiancée visa process
• Challenges of maintaining an international relationship during COVID times
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
Welcome back to Brandon Held.
Life is crazy.
This is episode 21.
Sounds crazy.
Speaking of crazy that I'm on my21st episode already, but here
we are and I'll just get rightback into it.
Pick up where I left off lastepisode.
(00:23):
I was now speaking with someonethat I had met online from
Brazil.
Her name also happens to beJuliana, which is funny enough
because watching 90 Day Fiancé,it was a Juliana from Brazil
that really made me wanted totry to meet a Brazilian.
(00:48):
And then I was speaking to agirl from Colombia and her name
was Juliana.
And then it just so happens thatThe woman that I meet in Brazil,
her name ends up being Juliana.
So it's almost like full circlethere with the name Juliana.
(01:09):
Her and I were communicating andwe were trying to see if we had
something going and she was alittle bit more hesitant than I
was.
It's just as far as just notreally Talking so much, taking
it slow.
(01:30):
She was busy, like I said, so Ididn't get much of her time in
the beginning.
And so now I'm back at work andI'm focusing on something called
a go-live, which was basically aflip of a switch from the old
DOD electronic healthcarerecords program, switching to
(01:51):
the new electronic healthcarerecords program.
And we were about to do thatthere at Davis-Monthan.
And they did a really greatthing by sending me someone
experienced to provide me somesupport for the go-live.
I didn't, I wasn't a hundredpercent confident going into it.
(02:13):
They give you some guidanceconceptually on what it'll look
like and what you're going to gothrough, but it's intimidating
and you're not a hundred percentsure.
that you're going to be equippedand you're going to know how to
do it.
So they look for volunteers,people who have gone through it
and who would be willing to helpand travel and all that.
(02:35):
I had someone named Mindy whowas coming to my Go Live to
assist me for a week.
I had never met her before,never talked to her before, and
she was going to be there withme side by side for a week,
helping me through this Go Live.
And the reason that I bring thatup is because She actually turns
(02:57):
out to be someone significant inmy life, right?
Just this, probably nothing sheever thought, nothing I ever
thought.
Just this woman who's doing thisjob and going to help someone
during a go-live.
(03:17):
Mindy came and she's older thanme by, I don't know, about 20
years and she was just greatfrom the beginning.
She just was super helpful inexpanding my knowledge and
helping me get through the golive and just on a personal
(03:39):
level, she's just a good person.
I enjoyed talking to her and wewere sharing life stories and
life details and stuff likethat.
And she knew that I was talkingto this new woman from Brazil
and her name was Juliana.
And she, I was telling her how Ireally want to see if this can
(04:02):
go somewhere and see if it'sgoing to work out because she
seems really great, but I justcan't get a lot of her time
because she's so busy right now.
So I'm not sure how to takethat.
I'm not sure how to take it asif she's like genuinely busy or
It's a way to brush me off.
So I had some doubts.
(04:23):
I had some skepticism.
And I was sharing all that withMindy.
And we became close and we madea friendship.
And so we made a friendship thatwill last the rest of our lives.
And so that's why I bring Mindyup.
And so we get through thego-live.
(04:44):
She helps me through it and Ido.
And I was so thankful for thatand she left and we maintained a
friendship.
And after Go Live, after thefirst, I don't know, week or so
of Go Live and trying to keepthings going and during the
switch of the record system,things died down a lot.
(05:09):
There just wasn't a lot.
going on there.
And it was starting to bother methat I had to drive so far to
show up to an office where therejust wasn't much for me to do.
And everything that I did do, Idid through email.
People didn't come see me faceto face for interactions and
(05:30):
things that needed to be done.
They emailed me and I respondedto them via email.
And that was how I did the job.
So I was pushing my bosses toLet me work from home and
remotely.
And I was explaining how thiswould allow me to have my kids.
And so therefore I could take mykids to school and pick them up.
(05:50):
And I'm missing out on this.
And I'm in every other weekenddad now because of this
situation.
And they were just essentially,sorry, can't help you.
The contract says you have to beon site.
There's nothing we can do foryou.
So I know there were other teamsinvolved.
that got to work from home andgot to work remotely.
(06:11):
As a matter of fact, Mindy wason one of those.
She was one of those peopleworking from home and remotely.
And so I was pushing to be movedand put on a different team and
they were just saying, no, wecan't help you.
And I genuinely ended up feelinglike it wasn't because they
couldn't help me.
It was because they didn't wantto help me.
(06:34):
They wanted me to be on site.
because A, I was very good at itand the client was happy with me
and B, they just didn't want totry to have to replace me.
They didn't want to try to findsomeone to replace me.
And I was voicing all thisconcern with Mindy and Mindy at
(06:54):
the same time was a littledissatisfied with the company
and wanted to make a change aswell.
And so she had made a connectionand she got a role under a new
company for the VA.
And that role was allowing herto work from home a hundred
percent.
(07:14):
So she said, Hey, I got this newjob with this new company that
owners are great.
It's a small consultant company.
They're just starting out, butthey have positions open for the
VA that are remote work fromhome.
And I'd love to recommend youfor a role if you want to work
(07:36):
there.
And I was just ecstatic.
Yes, of course.
Hook me up.
Let me talk to them.
Let me see what's going on.
Let me see what that's about.
And she did.
True to her word, she got meconnected with the owners of my
new company and I was able totalked to them and hit it off
(07:58):
great with them and they'regreat guys.
And so they gave me someposition ideas and it took a few
months.
I was ready for this to happenquickly, but it took a few
months for this process to playout.
But eventually I did get aninterview with the leadership of
the company they weresubcontracted under and it went
(08:22):
great.
Everything went well.
I got, I got a, invitation toget a job with them the same day
that I got the interview.
So that was great news.
So now I was getting out of thisrole that I was happy to be
employed and get back on myfeet.
(08:44):
But now I could get intosomething that a was moving on
and be was more suited for mebecause I needed something where
I could be at home so I couldtake my kids to and from school
and not be in every otherweekend dad, but be a 50-50
custody dad.
So that was set.
(09:05):
That was worked out.
And I was super excited aboutthat.
And in conjunction, at the sametime, Juliana and I had...
made a decision that we weregoing to meet in brazil we were
getting closer we were havingmore video calls and that
(09:26):
relationship was picking up alittle bit so it was time for me
to come out to brazil and meether and so that too was set up
and so After a few months ofknowing her and talking to her,
both in video call and via text,I was finally going to Brazil to
(09:48):
meet up with her.
And so we did a destinationmeetup.
I didn't go to where she lives.
She didn't want me to.
I didn't want to.
That's too awkward when you'rejust meeting someone for the
first time.
So we decided to meet up in abeautiful place called Maragogi.
And the whole way I'm flyingthere, I'm thinking it's been
(10:11):
tough to get her time.
It's been tough to get herattention.
I don't know how this is goingto go.
I genuinely was concerned thatthis might be a fail and I had
booked this eight day triptogether in Brazil.
And so she was going to meet methere as well.
The whole time flying there, I'mexcited.
(10:33):
but also worried, right?
Excited because of the potentialpossibility, but worried because
it could be a complete disasterand just another failed
situation that didn't work out.
But I knew the potential wasgreat and that's why it was all
worth it.
(10:54):
So I take the long flight toBrazil and it's especially long
because you have to fly overRecife, which is in the
northeast part of Brazil.
And you have to go down to SaoPaulo and then back up to Recife
(11:14):
again.
And it was just a really longtrip.
I don't remember how many hoursit was total.
Somewhere around 20 or more oftravel.
And that's just being at theairport.
flying.
That doesn't include arriving tomy Tucson airport an hour and a
(11:37):
half, two hours early.
So that doesn't even go intoeffect.
So it's probably like 24 hoursor something by the time I
actually get to the airport andI get off the airplane and I go
get my luggage and she wasscheduled to arrive later than I
was, but When I get off theairport, she texts me.
(12:00):
She's like, hey, or when I getoff the airplane, I'm in blue
and glass apparently.
When I get off the airplane, shetexts me.
She says, hey, I too havelanded.
I'm here.
I landed.
All I have to do is get myluggage and we can meet.
And I was like, great.
Now the excitement slash nerveswere really kicking in.
(12:21):
And I was excited to get myluggage.
I'm texting her, where do I meetyou?
How do I find you?
And we're not really, I'm notfamiliar with this airport in
Recife.
And obviously neither is she.
I don't think she'd ever beenhere before, but it was still
her culture, her world.
And so she was basically finallyjust wait where you are and I'll
(12:46):
come find you.
But I was too nervous.
excited to do that so I waswalking around pacing staying in
the general area but stilllooking and then finally like
she rounds the corner when it'sduring COVID time still not
COVID like the rest of the worldCOVID but more like the airlines
(13:10):
are still requiring us to wearface masks on the plane which
really sucked by the way havingthat thing pull on my ears for
24 hours and and you had to wearface masks in the airport still
and so she rounded the cornerand as soon as i saw her she was
(13:34):
just beautiful like immediatelyi could tell Oh my God, this
girl is amazing.
And I went to her and I huggedher and I picked her up off the
ground and I gave her a big hug.
We remove our masks and I kissedher and that's how it all
(13:58):
started.
I said in my head, it just feltright.
It just felt perfect.
I don't know how to explain it.
Like can't explain how you cango from having so many doubts
and fears and worries to, Idon't have anything to worry
about.
This is great.
(14:18):
And so just from the moment wemet, there was nervous
anticipation.
I could tell she was nervous andexcited.
I was nervous and excited, butwe were super happy to be
together and finally meet eachother.
And we get her, we get, we go dothe basic stuff you got to do,
(14:40):
find our way out of the airport,go get ourselves a taxi that's
going to take us to our hotelbecause Maragogi is, I don't
remember, 45 minutes, an houraway from the Recife airport.
And so the first thing we had todo was drive in a car together,
but there was just noawkwardness.
(15:03):
It was nothing.
immediate comfort we're sittingnext to each other i'm hugging
her i got my arm around hershe's got her hand on my leg
we're talking the conversationsare smooth she has a nice thick
accent because her she was stilllearning english basically and
i'm just learning all thesethings about her just on the
(15:26):
drive there as i had been doingfor months previous and the
reason All that significant isbecause in past relationships,
they almost always got physicalpretty quick.
Even if you say in a week oreven longer, it took to get
(15:50):
physical with someone like youstill really don't know someone
that way in a week or so.
And then once the physical getsinto it, it also changes the way
a relationship looks and feels.
But I had spent months justgetting to know her just as a
person, asking her questions,what makes her tick, how she
(16:12):
thinks, just all those things.
And her the same for me.
And now we were in this car onour rides, getting to know each
other even better.
And it just was such...
a smooth transition from, I hadnever met you in person before
(16:32):
to, oh my God, I feel like I'veknown you forever.
And that's what it felt like.
And it went amazing.
We spent our first couple ofdays in Brazil at one smaller
hotel.
I let her pick the hotels thatwe stayed at.
And then we, after those coupleof days, we went to a different
(16:55):
hotel and resort that was moreall-inclusive and we stayed
there and i think we weretogether four or five days i'm
not sure everything was so dangperfect that i asked her to
marry me and it flew in the faceof everything that i thought i
(17:21):
wanted to accomplish right ithought i wanted something
distance to slow it down.
I thought I wanted somethingdistance to be able to live my
daily life, but yet still havesomeone in it without us being
right on top of each other.
And as soon as I met her and wewere together, I knew I wanted
(17:45):
to spend the rest of my lifewith her.
And I knew that also not reallyunderstanding just how
incredibly hard it was going tobe to actually be together.
And I wasn't really thinkingabout that or worrying about
(18:05):
that at that time.
I asked her to marry me.
She said, yes, like I could tellshe was stunned, but she felt
the same way.
And she said yes.
And so now we had a couple ofdays left and we were engaged.
now so we went from being thesetwo people that met online to we
(18:27):
were meeting for the first timeto now we were engaged to be
married and it sounds crazy andif you ask her or you ask me we
would never recommend for anyoneto follow in our footsteps i
would never tell someone Yeah,go meet someone from another
country and get engagedimmediately and get married
(18:51):
quickly.
Like it doesn't make any sense.
I get that.
She gets that.
Nothing about it makes sense,but it just felt right.
After someone who'd been marriedthree times took his time, two
years and five years in thoserelationships to actually get
married and Now I'm askingsomeone within five days of
(19:15):
meeting her in person to getmarried.
And she, as crazy as I was toask, she was equally as crazy to
agree.
And I say that jokingly becauseif you knew her, like I know
her, everyone else in her lifeknows her.
She's not someone that's quickto make a decision.
She's not someone that makesrash decisions.
(19:38):
She takes her time.
before she makes decisions.
She's very practical andpragmatic about her approach in
life and how she decides to dothings.
And hell, I really didn't evenknow that about her yet.
(19:59):
But if I would have known, Iprobably would have been even
more afraid, too afraid to evenask her because that's not who
she was.
But I blindly was feeling thisthing that I just acted on.
And luckily it worked out andshe said yes.
And so that was what Iaffectionately consider the
(20:22):
eight greatest days of my life.
It was a perfect, as close toperfect eight days as I've ever
had in my life.
There was one small incidentthere where she was getting food
from The buffet thing at therestaurant and a cook there had
(20:44):
stuck his hand out to touch herass.
And I saw the whole thinghappen.
And he was just a pervert, acreepy pervert.
And I saw it, but I washelpless.
I was in another country.
I couldn't just go tackle theguy and beat the shit out of him
like I probably would have if itwould have happened in America.
(21:04):
And I just felt helpless.
I saw it coming.
I saw, I saw him behavingcreepily the way he was looking
at other women and the way hewas carrying himself.
And I was trying to get herattention to get out of the
situation, to get her to come tome.
And she saw me, she just kept,and I was like waving that
(21:28):
motion with my hand to comehere.
And she would put up her fingerlike one second.
Cause like she was almost done.
She didn't know what I wantedand it ended up happening.
I ended up.
Sticking his hand out andtouching her butt.
And of course she thought, oh,excuse me.
She turned around thinking shejust bumped into someone.
She had no idea that it was apervert being a pervert.
(21:50):
So that was really the onlyhiccup we had in the entire
meeting.
First meeting slash vacationtogether.
Otherwise it was absolutelyperfect.
It was perfect.
She's beautiful.
We get along great.
She's intelligent.
It was just the best eight daysof my life and still is to this
(22:13):
day.
Maybe someday that will gettoppled.
But until then, that's it now.
And so now we were, our eightdays were over and we were going
to the airport and we were aboutto depart just now.
Taking that practically, okay,we spent eight days together.
(22:36):
Now we got to turn around and gohome until we can be together
again.
And just not putting a lot ofthought into it, right?
So we're at the airport and Iknow I'm dreading leaving
because it was eight amazingdays.
Brazil is absolutely beautiful.
And by and large, the Brazilianswere good to me and good people
(22:58):
outside of that one guy.
And I just really loved itthere.
And I wasn't ready to leave herand I wasn't ready to go back to
work, but I knew it's what hadto happen.
And I'm a pretty logical person.
And we were getting our lastfood in at the airport and we
were saying our last goodbyes.
(23:19):
And when we got to my airplane,when I was about to board to
leave from nowhere, and I'm notashamed to admit this.
I realized how much I was goingto miss this woman.
And I broke down and startedcrying as if someone just had
flipped a switch that I wentfrom feeling semi-normal to, oh
(23:42):
my God, I'm going to miss thisgirl so much.
And just started crying.
And as soon as I started crying,she started crying and it really
sunk in.
Holy crap.
We have this love, thisrelationship.
And we're going to be continentsapart, not really, but countries
(24:05):
apart.
And it's just hitting us that wedon't know when we're going to
see each other again exactly,but we know that we're in love
and we know that we love beingtogether and we know that being
together is amazing.
And now we have to separate andgo back to our lives without
(24:28):
each other.
And it sucked.
It really sucked.
And I get on the airplane and Idepart and it goes from the
eight most magical days in mylife to, oh, now I got to go
back and live a life withoutthis woman that I want to see
every day.
(24:48):
And I can't, right?
She's, I can't just move toBrazil.
I have kids.
I have a job.
I have a life in America.
And it takes a visa to get intoAmerica.
And that takes time.
And it was COVID time.
The only thing I can do is whatI can do, which is take the
steps to get her to America.
(25:10):
So as soon as I get back toAmerica, I immediately apply for
a fiance visa, which for thoseof you that don't know, is the
premise behind the show, 90 DayFiance, because we're If you
come to America on a fiancevisa, you have to get married
(25:30):
within 90 days.
And if you don't, the person notfrom America has to go back to
their country.
And, or if they leave thecountry, say she came to visit
me and left for any reasonwithin that 90 days and we
didn't get married, she stillcouldn't reenter the country.
(25:52):
The visa then becomes null andvoid.
Yeah, we had all that going onand now the only thing I could
do was miss this new love in mylife and focus on work and
working out, trying to get,still trying to get better fit
(26:14):
and better shape and spendingtime with my kids when I could,
but really just focus on tryingto get my new fiance into the
country.
And that's where I will stopthis episode.
Thanks for joining me.
I'll talk to you next time.
Welcome back to Brandon Held.
Life is crazy.
This is episode 21.
Sounds crazy.
Speaking of crazy that I'm on my21st episode already, but here
we are and I'll just get rightback into it.
Pick up where I left off lastepisode.
(00:23):
I was now speaking with someonethat I had met online from
Brazil.
Her name also happens to beJuliana, which is funny enough
because watching 90 Day Fiancé,it was a Juliana from Brazil
that really made me wanted totry to meet a Brazilian.
(00:48):
And then I was speaking to agirl from Colombia and her name
was Juliana.
And then it just so happens thatThe woman that I meet in Brazil,
her name ends up being Juliana.
So it's almost like full circlethere with the name Juliana.
(01:09):
Her and I were communicating andwe were trying to see if we had
something going and she was alittle bit more hesitant than I
was.
It's just as far as just notreally Talking so much, taking
it slow.
(01:30):
She was busy, like I said, so Ididn't get much of her time in
the beginning.
And so now I'm back at work andI'm focusing on something called
a go-live, which was basically aflip of a switch from the old
DOD electronic healthcarerecords program, switching to
(01:51):
the new electronic healthcarerecords program.
And we were about to do thatthere at Davis-Monthan.
And they did a really greatthing by sending me someone
experienced to provide me somesupport for the go-live.
I didn't, I wasn't a hundredpercent confident going into it.
(02:13):
They give you some guidanceconceptually on what it'll look
like and what you're going to gothrough, but it's intimidating
and you're not a hundred percentsure.
that you're going to be equippedand you're going to know how to
do it.
So they look for volunteers,people who have gone through it
and who would be willing to helpand travel and all that.
(02:35):
I had someone named Mindy whowas coming to my Go Live to
assist me for a week.
I had never met her before,never talked to her before, and
she was going to be there withme side by side for a week,
helping me through this Go Live.
And the reason that I bring thatup is because She actually turns
(02:57):
out to be someone significant inmy life, right?
Just this, probably nothing sheever thought, nothing I ever
thought.
Just this woman who's doing thisjob and going to help someone
during a go-live.
(03:17):
Mindy came and she's older thanme by, I don't know, about 20
years and she was just greatfrom the beginning.
She just was super helpful inexpanding my knowledge and
helping me get through the golive and just on a personal
(03:39):
level, she's just a good person.
I enjoyed talking to her and wewere sharing life stories and
life details and stuff likethat.
And she knew that I was talkingto this new woman from Brazil
and her name was Juliana.
And she, I was telling her how Ireally want to see if this can
(04:02):
go somewhere and see if it'sgoing to work out because she
seems really great, but I justcan't get a lot of her time
because she's so busy right now.
So I'm not sure how to takethat.
I'm not sure how to take it asif she's like genuinely busy or
It's a way to brush me off.
So I had some doubts.
(04:23):
I had some skepticism.
And I was sharing all that withMindy.
And we became close and we madea friendship.
And so we made a friendship thatwill last the rest of our lives.
And so that's why I bring Mindyup.
And so we get through thego-live.
(04:44):
She helps me through it and Ido.
And I was so thankful for thatand she left and we maintained a
friendship.
And after Go Live, after thefirst, I don't know, week or so
of Go Live and trying to keepthings going and during the
switch of the record system,things died down a lot.
(05:09):
There just wasn't a lot.
going on there.
And it was starting to bother methat I had to drive so far to
show up to an office where therejust wasn't much for me to do.
And everything that I did do, Idid through email.
People didn't come see me faceto face for interactions and
(05:30):
things that needed to be done.
They emailed me and I respondedto them via email.
And that was how I did the job.
So I was pushing my bosses toLet me work from home and
remotely.
And I was explaining how thiswould allow me to have my kids.
And so therefore I could take mykids to school and pick them up.
(05:50):
And I'm missing out on this.
And I'm in every other weekenddad now because of this
situation.
And they were just essentially,sorry, can't help you.
The contract says you have to beon site.
There's nothing we can do foryou.
So I know there were other teamsinvolved.
that got to work from home andgot to work remotely.
(06:11):
As a matter of fact, Mindy wason one of those.
She was one of those peopleworking from home and remotely.
And so I was pushing to be movedand put on a different team and
they were just saying, no, wecan't help you.
And I genuinely ended up feelinglike it wasn't because they
couldn't help me.
It was because they didn't wantto help me.
(06:34):
They wanted me to be on site.
because A, I was very good at itand the client was happy with me
and B, they just didn't want totry to have to replace me.
They didn't want to try to findsomeone to replace me.
And I was voicing all thisconcern with Mindy and Mindy at
(06:54):
the same time was a littledissatisfied with the company
and wanted to make a change aswell.
And so she had made a connectionand she got a role under a new
company for the VA.
And that role was allowing herto work from home a hundred
percent.
(07:14):
So she said, Hey, I got this newjob with this new company that
owners are great.
It's a small consultant company.
They're just starting out, butthey have positions open for the
VA that are remote work fromhome.
And I'd love to recommend youfor a role if you want to work
(07:36):
there.
And I was just ecstatic.
Yes, of course.
Hook me up.
Let me talk to them.
Let me see what's going on.
Let me see what that's about.
And she did.
True to her word, she got meconnected with the owners of my
new company and I was able totalked to them and hit it off
(07:58):
great with them and they'regreat guys.
And so they gave me someposition ideas and it took a few
months.
I was ready for this to happenquickly, but it took a few
months for this process to playout.
But eventually I did get aninterview with the leadership of
the company they weresubcontracted under and it went
(08:22):
great.
Everything went well.
I got, I got a, invitation toget a job with them the same day
that I got the interview.
So that was great news.
So now I was getting out of thisrole that I was happy to be
employed and get back on myfeet.
(08:44):
But now I could get intosomething that a was moving on
and be was more suited for mebecause I needed something where
I could be at home so I couldtake my kids to and from school
and not be in every otherweekend dad, but be a 50-50
custody dad.
So that was set.
(09:05):
That was worked out.
And I was super excited aboutthat.
And in conjunction, at the sametime, Juliana and I had...
made a decision that we weregoing to meet in brazil we were
getting closer we were havingmore video calls and that
(09:26):
relationship was picking up alittle bit so it was time for me
to come out to brazil and meether and so that too was set up
and so After a few months ofknowing her and talking to her,
both in video call and via text,I was finally going to Brazil to
(09:48):
meet up with her.
And so we did a destinationmeetup.
I didn't go to where she lives.
She didn't want me to.
I didn't want to.
That's too awkward when you'rejust meeting someone for the
first time.
So we decided to meet up in abeautiful place called Maragogi.
And the whole way I'm flyingthere, I'm thinking it's been
(10:11):
tough to get her time.
It's been tough to get herattention.
I don't know how this is goingto go.
I genuinely was concerned thatthis might be a fail and I had
booked this eight day triptogether in Brazil.
And so she was going to meet methere as well.
The whole time flying there, I'mexcited.
(10:33):
but also worried, right?
Excited because of the potentialpossibility, but worried because
it could be a complete disasterand just another failed
situation that didn't work out.
But I knew the potential wasgreat and that's why it was all
worth it.
(10:54):
So I take the long flight toBrazil and it's especially long
because you have to fly overRecife, which is in the
northeast part of Brazil.
And you have to go down to SaoPaulo and then back up to Recife
(11:14):
again.
And it was just a really longtrip.
I don't remember how many hoursit was total.
Somewhere around 20 or more oftravel.
And that's just being at theairport.
flying.
That doesn't include arriving tomy Tucson airport an hour and a
(11:37):
half, two hours early.
So that doesn't even go intoeffect.
So it's probably like 24 hoursor something by the time I
actually get to the airport andI get off the airplane and I go
get my luggage and she wasscheduled to arrive later than I
was, but When I get off theairport, she texts me.
(12:00):
She's like, hey, or when I getoff the airplane, I'm in blue
and glass apparently.
When I get off the airplane, shetexts me.
She says, hey, I too havelanded.
I'm here.
I landed.
All I have to do is get myluggage and we can meet.
And I was like, great.
Now the excitement slash nerveswere really kicking in.
(12:21):
And I was excited to get myluggage.
I'm texting her, where do I meetyou?
How do I find you?
And we're not really, I'm notfamiliar with this airport in
Recife.
And obviously neither is she.
I don't think she'd ever beenhere before, but it was still
her culture, her world.
And so she was basically finallyjust wait where you are and I'll
(12:46):
come find you.
But I was too nervous.
excited to do that so I waswalking around pacing staying in
the general area but stilllooking and then finally like
she rounds the corner when it'sduring COVID time still not
COVID like the rest of the worldCOVID but more like the airlines
(13:10):
are still requiring us to wearface masks on the plane which
really sucked by the way havingthat thing pull on my ears for
24 hours and and you had to wearface masks in the airport still
and so she rounded the cornerand as soon as i saw her she was
(13:34):
just beautiful like immediatelyi could tell Oh my God, this
girl is amazing.
And I went to her and I huggedher and I picked her up off the
ground and I gave her a big hug.
We remove our masks and I kissedher and that's how it all
(13:58):
started.
I said in my head, it just feltright.
It just felt perfect.
I don't know how to explain it.
Like can't explain how you cango from having so many doubts
and fears and worries to, Idon't have anything to worry
about.
This is great.
(14:18):
And so just from the moment wemet, there was nervous
anticipation.
I could tell she was nervous andexcited.
I was nervous and excited, butwe were super happy to be
together and finally meet eachother.
And we get her, we get, we go dothe basic stuff you got to do,
(14:40):
find our way out of the airport,go get ourselves a taxi that's
going to take us to our hotelbecause Maragogi is, I don't
remember, 45 minutes, an houraway from the Recife airport.
And so the first thing we had todo was drive in a car together,
but there was just noawkwardness.
(15:03):
It was nothing.
immediate comfort we're sittingnext to each other i'm hugging
her i got my arm around hershe's got her hand on my leg
we're talking the conversationsare smooth she has a nice thick
accent because her she was stilllearning english basically and
i'm just learning all thesethings about her just on the
(15:26):
drive there as i had been doingfor months previous and the
reason All that significant isbecause in past relationships,
they almost always got physicalpretty quick.
Even if you say in a week oreven longer, it took to get
(15:50):
physical with someone like youstill really don't know someone
that way in a week or so.
And then once the physical getsinto it, it also changes the way
a relationship looks and feels.
But I had spent months justgetting to know her just as a
person, asking her questions,what makes her tick, how she
(16:12):
thinks, just all those things.
And her the same for me.
And now we were in this car onour rides, getting to know each
other even better.
And it just was such...
a smooth transition from, I hadnever met you in person before
(16:32):
to, oh my God, I feel like I'veknown you forever.
And that's what it felt like.
And it went amazing.
We spent our first couple ofdays in Brazil at one smaller
hotel.
I let her pick the hotels thatwe stayed at.
And then we, after those coupleof days, we went to a different
(16:55):
hotel and resort that was moreall-inclusive and we stayed
there and i think we weretogether four or five days i'm
not sure everything was so dangperfect that i asked her to
marry me and it flew in the faceof everything that i thought i
(17:21):
wanted to accomplish right ithought i wanted something
distance to slow it down.
I thought I wanted somethingdistance to be able to live my
daily life, but yet still havesomeone in it without us being
right on top of each other.
And as soon as I met her and wewere together, I knew I wanted
(17:45):
to spend the rest of my lifewith her.
And I knew that also not reallyunderstanding just how
incredibly hard it was going tobe to actually be together.
And I wasn't really thinkingabout that or worrying about
(18:05):
that at that time.
I asked her to marry me.
She said, yes, like I could tellshe was stunned, but she felt
the same way.
And she said yes.
And so now we had a couple ofdays left and we were engaged.
now so we went from being thesetwo people that met online to we
(18:27):
were meeting for the first timeto now we were engaged to be
married and it sounds crazy andif you ask her or you ask me we
would never recommend for anyoneto follow in our footsteps i
would never tell someone Yeah,go meet someone from another
country and get engagedimmediately and get married
(18:51):
quickly.
Like it doesn't make any sense.
I get that.
She gets that.
Nothing about it makes sense,but it just felt right.
After someone who'd been marriedthree times took his time, two
years and five years in thoserelationships to actually get
married and Now I'm askingsomeone within five days of
(19:15):
meeting her in person to getmarried.
And she, as crazy as I was toask, she was equally as crazy to
agree.
And I say that jokingly becauseif you knew her, like I know
her, everyone else in her lifeknows her.
She's not someone that's quickto make a decision.
She's not someone that makesrash decisions.
(19:38):
She takes her time.
before she makes decisions.
She's very practical andpragmatic about her approach in
life and how she decides to dothings.
And hell, I really didn't evenknow that about her yet.
(19:59):
But if I would have known, Iprobably would have been even
more afraid, too afraid to evenask her because that's not who
she was.
But I blindly was feeling thisthing that I just acted on.
And luckily it worked out andshe said yes.
And so that was what Iaffectionately consider the
(20:22):
eight greatest days of my life.
It was a perfect, as close toperfect eight days as I've ever
had in my life.
There was one small incidentthere where she was getting food
from The buffet thing at therestaurant and a cook there had
(20:44):
stuck his hand out to touch herass.
And I saw the whole thinghappen.
And he was just a pervert, acreepy pervert.
And I saw it, but I washelpless.
I was in another country.
I couldn't just go tackle theguy and beat the shit out of him
like I probably would have if itwould have happened in America.
(21:04):
And I just felt helpless.
I saw it coming.
I saw, I saw him behavingcreepily the way he was looking
at other women and the way hewas carrying himself.
And I was trying to get herattention to get out of the
situation, to get her to come tome.
And she saw me, she just kept,and I was like waving that
(21:28):
motion with my hand to comehere.
And she would put up her fingerlike one second.
Cause like she was almost done.
She didn't know what I wantedand it ended up happening.
I ended up.
Sticking his hand out andtouching her butt.
And of course she thought, oh,excuse me.
She turned around thinking shejust bumped into someone.
She had no idea that it was apervert being a pervert.
(21:50):
So that was really the onlyhiccup we had in the entire
meeting.
First meeting slash vacationtogether.
Otherwise it was absolutelyperfect.
It was perfect.
She's beautiful.
We get along great.
She's intelligent.
It was just the best eight daysof my life and still is to this
(22:13):
day.
Maybe someday that will gettoppled.
But until then, that's it now.
And so now we were, our eightdays were over and we were going
to the airport and we were aboutto depart just now.
Taking that practically, okay,we spent eight days together.
(22:36):
Now we got to turn around and gohome until we can be together
again.
And just not putting a lot ofthought into it, right?
So we're at the airport and Iknow I'm dreading leaving
because it was eight amazingdays.
Brazil is absolutely beautiful.
And by and large, the Brazilianswere good to me and good people
(22:58):
outside of that one guy.
And I just really loved itthere.
And I wasn't ready to leave herand I wasn't ready to go back to
work, but I knew it's what hadto happen.
And I'm a pretty logical person.
And we were getting our lastfood in at the airport and we
were saying our last goodbyes.
(23:19):
And when we got to my airplane,when I was about to board to
leave from nowhere, and I'm notashamed to admit this.
I realized how much I was goingto miss this woman.
And I broke down and startedcrying as if someone just had
flipped a switch that I wentfrom feeling semi-normal to, oh
(23:42):
my God, I'm going to miss thisgirl so much.
And just started crying.
And as soon as I started crying,she started crying and it really
sunk in.
Holy crap.
We have this love, thisrelationship.
And we're going to be continentsapart, not really, but countries
(24:05):
apart.
And it's just hitting us that wedon't know when we're going to
see each other again exactly,but we know that we're in love
and we know that we love beingtogether and we know that being
together is amazing.
And now we have to separate andgo back to our lives without
(24:28):
each other.
And it sucked.
It really sucked.
And I get on the airplane and Idepart and it goes from the
eight most magical days in mylife to, oh, now I got to go
back and live a life withoutthis woman that I want to see
every day.
(24:48):
And I can't, right?
She's, I can't just move toBrazil.
I have kids.
I have a job.
I have a life in America.
And it takes a visa to get intoAmerica.
And that takes time.
And it was COVID time.
The only thing I can do is whatI can do, which is take the
steps to get her to America.
(25:10):
So as soon as I get back toAmerica, I immediately apply for
a fiance visa, which for thoseof you that don't know, is the
premise behind the show, 90 DayFiance, because we're If you
come to America on a fiancevisa, you have to get married
(25:30):
within 90 days.
And if you don't, the person notfrom America has to go back to
their country.
And, or if they leave thecountry, say she came to visit
me and left for any reasonwithin that 90 days and we
didn't get married, she stillcouldn't reenter the country.
(25:52):
The visa then becomes null andvoid.
Yeah, we had all that going onand now the only thing I could
do was miss this new love in mylife and focus on work and
working out, trying to get,still trying to get better fit
(26:14):
and better shape and spendingtime with my kids when I could,
but really just focus on tryingto get my new fiance into the
country.
And that's where I will stopthis episode.
Thanks for joining me.
I'll talk to you next time.
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