April 3, 2025 • 28 mins
Brandon continues his journey of meeting, marrying, and working to reunite with his Brazilian wife Juliana, detailing the challenges and triumphs of maintaining a cross-continental relationship. From navigating Bahamian bureaucracy to passing crucial visa interviews, this episode captures the emotional rollercoaster of building a life together while physically apart.
Please start with Episode 1. Go to my site BrandonHeld.com
• Getting married in the Bahamas proved challenging due to bureaucratic inefficiencies and Brandon's previously unknown stress fractures in both ankles
• After marriage, they developed a rhythm of video calls and texts that made their long-distance relationship feel like a true partnership
• Both focused intensely on fitness during their separation, with Juliana's expert nutrition knowledge helping Brandon's training goals
• Juliana's legal background proved invaluable in navigating the complex visa application process
• Brandon traveled to Brazil to meet Juliana's divorced parents separately and attend her all-night law school graduation party
• While in Brazil, Brandon interviewed for and secured a work-from-home VA position that would allow him to care for his children
• The emotional high point came when Juliana passed her visa interview, finally clearing the way for her to come to America
BrandonHeld.com iPad drawing for Life Coaching clients
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
Welcome back.
Brandon Held, Life is Crazy,episode 23.
Last episode, I went into greatdetail about how my wife and I
were ending up meeting in theBahamas to get married.
And I'm not sure if it was toomuch detail, if people care
(00:27):
about this detail, but it was apretty...
significant part of my life forme and so I guess I'm gonna trim
the fat a little bit thisepisode and talk about more
stuff on our journey togetherwithout getting so deep down
(00:48):
into the details because ifpeople express interest in stuff
like that I can always do thatat a Later time on a different
podcast.
And don't forget if you'relistening to this for the first
time, don't listen to thispodcast.
Start at episode one.
(01:09):
This is a podcast that needs tobe heard from the beginning to
understand what's going on.
So please go back to episode oneand start from the beginning.
And visit BrandonHeld.com ifthat's not where you're
listening to this.
podcast from please go check outmy website and donate if you can
(01:33):
that would be greatlyappreciated so I can keep this
going and I would love to dothat if you know there's an
audience and people areinterested and eventually
someday who knows this could gointo something else and maybe
take guests or whatever the casemay be But check out my website,
(01:58):
brandonhell.com.
So last episode, I had landed inthe Bahamas with a little bit of
a mixed situation where it was astruggle to get there on time.
The hotel, the resort is what itwas called that we were staying
(02:18):
at felt a little cheated by whatthey showed online versus what
we actually got in person.
But I was with Juliana and wewere going to get married and we
really had to focus on thatpart, right?
This was a vacation together sowe could be with each other and
(02:40):
enjoy each other's company forthe limited number of eight
days.
But also we had to get married.
It was something we had to dowhile we were there.
If you ever want to get marriedin the Bahamas, I wouldn't
recommend it unless you want tojust pay out the wazoo.
(03:02):
If you have an unlimited incomeand you want to go to the
Bahamas and you want to justspend an insane amount of money,
then power to you.
It would probably be a muchbetter experience than we had.
But we had a struggle.
We had a struggle trying to geta marriage certificate.
(03:25):
And a little bit of luck wasinvolved in that.
The government workers in theBahamas make our American
government workers look like,like they are the best workers
in the world because they'rejust really slow and really lazy
in the Bahamas.
(03:46):
I think it's a culture thing.
I think it's an Island thing ingeneral.
That security of that governmentjob.
Probably makes it even worse.
It was really tough to get acertificate.
It was tough to try to getmarried.
I'm walking around and what Iwould later learn after I
(04:07):
returned back home and went to adoctor on two stress fractured
ankles for an eight day trial.
I'm trying to make the best ofthis thing, just in super
incredible pain in my ankles thewhole time, barely walking.
Every step was painful.
Like someone was stabbing mewith needles, but we were able
(04:28):
to get it done and we were ableto meet some nice local who gave
us a hookup on a photographer ata reasonable price.
And it was a little roughbecause I thought you had that
little tinge of doubt that youwere getting taken by a
(04:53):
photographer because he took ourpictures on the beach for our
wedding photos and it wasn'tthat many it was really like a
dozen or at least that's what weended up with but it wasn't a
lot that he took when we werethere maybe 20 and it just took
him weeks and to get those to usweeks.
(05:14):
It just, there was just no logicor reason behind why it would
take so long for that to be doneother than just the cultural
difference in work ethic there.
So all in all, the Bahamas is anincredibly beautiful place to
look at.
And being with my now wife wasgreat because I always loved
(05:40):
being with her.
Absence makes the heart growfonder, and it certainly did.
But the Bahamas itself was notan enjoyable trip, and I didn't
really care for it, and I wouldbe hard-pressed to ever want to
go back there again.
I never say never, but itcertainly wouldn't be any type
(06:02):
of priority on my list.
The only problem is that's wherewe got married, so...
Is there some time in the futurewe want to recapture that memory
by revisiting?
I don't know.
Who knows?
Maybe after time passes.
But so far for now, I don't havethe best of feelings of the
(06:26):
Bahamas for multiple reasons.
It wasn't easy to get.
Some certified documents that weneeded for her spousal visa that
we absolutely needed from themfor her to get here to America.
There's just some stuff in thefuture that we also had to rely
on the Bahamas to provide andthey provided it with the same
(06:48):
slow.
We do things on our timeefficiency that they just do in
the Bahamas.
So I wouldn't recommend that foranyone.
And that's all I'll really sayabout that trip.
We had a good trip together.
It was great for us, just likethe two of us as far as our
(07:10):
chemistry and how we get alongand our love for each other and
our husband and wife, which forher was a first, right?
I'm the first man she evermarried.
But for me, it was my fourthwife.
But I knew this one was special.
I knew it was different.
It didn't feel different.
like my previous marriages itdidn't it just had this i really
(07:37):
love this woman and i'm gonna bewith her for the rest of my life
feeling to it and so that'swhere we were and so obviously
of course we had to depart againand go back our separate ways
and While it was still tough, itdidn't hit the same way the
(07:58):
first time did, where we werejust sobbing at the gates,
realizing we were going to beapart because we were a little
more mentally prepared for whatwe were going through.
But not to say that doesn'tsuck, because it does suck.
The whole thing sucked, beingapart from each other and loving
(08:20):
each other so much and reallyonly being able to rely on video
calls to see each other and ofcourse after we were married and
she was done studying for hertests and what she had to do she
had more time so now we had moretime to text we had more time to
(08:43):
video call and it was justeasier to be in touch and even
though it was long distance itreally felt like it felt like I
was growing with a partner andwe were making decisions
together and we were planningfuture decisions together.
(09:04):
And we were discussing allaspects of our daily lives
together.
And it was a long distancemarriage, but it was a marriage
nonetheless.
And so we were working throughthe process.
I had to change the visa from afiance visa to a spousal visa.
(09:25):
So I had to go cancel the fiancevisa and submit a spousal visa
in its place.
And so we got married inSeptember and I was still
working at my old job before.
And I had fast forwarded a bitabout the new VA work from home
(09:49):
job that I was going to get.
Because that wouldn't happenuntil July of the following
year.
So we still had me workingduring this time on site, not
being a full-time father,missing my kids, now missing my
wife.
And all I really had was workand fitness.
(10:11):
So I really used that time totry to focus on fitness.
And my wife, who was...
into it as well and now she hadmore time to really study on it
and she has insanely fit her momhas been into fitness her whole
life and so she had a great rolemodel for fitness so it was a
(10:35):
big deal to her and my wife andhad a much better grasp on
nutrition and the knowledge ofnutrition than i did and i had
been a personal trainer foryears and years which i tried
skipped over in my storytellingsof how much personal training I
actually did in my life becausethere's no need to get into all
(10:59):
those details.
I told you one of thesignificant stories and that was
good enough.
I could tell you others, but Idon't know if you're interested
in that.
So I decided not to share allthat, but I had been into
fitness and working out andbeing a trainer and I did what I
thought was best from stuff Ihad read and learned for
(11:24):
nutrition.
But she, again, is just anincredible researcher.
And when she wants to learnsomething, she learns it and she
gets a lot of information aboutit.
So she was actually helping mewith my nutrition.
So while we were apart, we werefocusing both of us on getting
(11:47):
in more better shape for me itmeant becoming more muscular
becoming more ripped and tryingto shed fat loss and i wanted to
be strong i was approaching 50it was just outside of 50 and i
(12:08):
wanted to be as strong as icould be and she was Wanted to
be strong, but she cared moreabout the physical aesthetics of
it.
And her being a Brazilian, shewanted bigger thighs, bigger
ass, and the things that goalong, six-pack abs.
(12:31):
And that's what she was focusedon.
So that's what we did.
We spent our time working andgoing to the gym.
While I worked, she didn't.
Because she was...
How could she apply to go be alawyer somewhere in Brazil and
say, I'm going to have to moveto America pretty much at a
(12:52):
moment's notice because whenevermy visa is approved, that's when
I'm going.
It's not fair to any company todo that to them.
She was my wife now, so I washelping her out.
A little bit financially, notmuch.
I offered her more than shetook.
So that should tell you a lotabout her.
(13:12):
She genuinely tried to use theminimum that she needed to get
by.
And so she could really justfocus on fitness and other
things like our visa.
And she really focused on thevisa and she did a lot of
research and she learned a lot.
(13:33):
And that made a huge difference.
She is a lawyer.
A lot of people hire lawyers togo through the visa process when
they're trying to get asignificant other into America
from another country.
And even American lawyers makemistakes all the time.
When we went through our processand we put in our documents and
(13:54):
we did the things we thought wewere supposed to do, but she was
constantly finding mistakes wehad made and we were able to
correct those mistakes andupdate our documents and put in
better documents.
And we could only do thatthrough her hard work and
research.
So she really did an amazing jobwith that.
(14:18):
From September until January,the end of January, we weren't
able to see each other.
That was, I think, the longestperiod to that point that we had
not seen each other.
And it was tough.
It was super tough.
This time I decided to go allthe way to Brazil and meet her
(14:41):
in Sao Paulo, Brazil, because Iwanted to know what Sao Paulo
was like.
It was the biggest city inBrazil, I think.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is.
And it's not on a beach oranything, but I wanted to mix it
up.
Our first two trips had beenbeaches.
She loves beaches.
(15:03):
So it took a little convincingon my part to do a more city
oriented vacation.
And I tried to explain, it'd belike, if you were in America and
we went to New York city orsomething, you do the city
thing.
So we did it and I loved it.
I had a great time in Sao Paulo.
(15:25):
I thought it was great.
I enjoyed it.
And we had another great eightdays together.
And we were husband and wifefrom the beginning this time.
So we were meeting as husbandand wife.
And that's really all I'm goingto say about Sao Paulo.
(15:49):
I loved it.
There's not a lot to talk aboutit.
I could go into detail, butagain, it's the same.
Not sure how interested you are,but Brazil's beautiful.
The food's great and the peopleare great.
So I enjoyed it.
the trip to Sao Paulo.
And so then we depart at the endof that trip.
(16:10):
And I probably would have goneback earlier to see her, but she
had a huge, I would have goneback in April, but she had a
huge party that they had beenplanning literally for four
years for her law schoolgraduation.
And it was like nothinghappened.
(16:31):
We do in America, at least notanyone I know.
And that graduation party is theentire class of her law school
graduation, which wasn't a lotof people, but the whole, the
idea is it's the gathering ofthat group, right?
I'm not sure if it was like adozen or whatever it was.
(16:53):
And this was all their entiregraduation party.
And it started at 8 PM.
or 10 PM.
I'm not sure.
It started sometime that nightand went until the next morning,
like 8 AM the next morning.
It was an all night part.
And I certainly wasn't used tostaying up all night.
(17:17):
And I, one, I was beingimpatient as I am.
Impatience is my biggestweakness.
It's something I've beenstruggling with and working on
my whole life.
A lot of things in life that Istruggle with I've been able to
adapt and overcome for the mostpart or at least be better but
(17:39):
impatience is one of those onesthat I've just never gotten a
grasp on and I still strugglewith to this day so I would have
been impatient and I would havecame a month earlier more than a
month earlier because this wasat the end of May I would have
(18:01):
not gone to her graduationparty, but she wanted me there
for her graduation party.
That was more important to her.
She thought she would enjoy itmore if I was there.
It was going to be a good time,lots of food and friends and
family and everything else.
So she just wanted me to be apart of it.
(18:22):
So I waited till the end of Mayto go there for that.
I flew to her hometown area thistime and I stayed there and this
was for the first time after wewere husband and wife I was
going to meet her mother and herfather who were not together
(18:42):
they've been divorced since shewas nine and her mother does not
like her father at all so I wasnot going to see them together
because they literally haven'tbeen together in in the same
room since they broke up when mywife was nine years old or
(19:02):
divorced, whatever, when my wifewas nine years old.
It was going to have to beseparate visits, separate things
to do.
And I met her mother first and Icould tell she was skeptical
about me, staring me up anddown.
Who's this guy that married mydaughter that I never got to
meet?
I don't know anything about.
(19:23):
And I get it.
Totally get it.
Being a parent, I wouldn't behappy about the way we went
about this too, because theydidn't learn.
Her mother didn't even learn wewere engaged till much after the
fact.
And she knew that we weregetting married and we didn't
(19:45):
bring her to the Bahamas withus.
So she was probably a littleupset by the fact that she
didn't get to attend her one andonly daughter's wedding.
I'm not probably, she definitelywas as anyone would be.
And then conversely, her fatherdidn't know about any of it
(20:05):
until it was done.
She didn't even tell her dadthat we got married and
everything until after it wasall done.
We were already husband andwife.
Her dad didn't even know Iexisted until we were already
husband and wife.
So I knew that I wasn't steppinginto the greatest situation, but
(20:27):
it was time to face the Piper.
It had to happen at some point.
That was the time, and I'm aconfident person.
I know I'm a good person,caring, kind, easy to get along
with.
Of course, if we don't have anyproblems, if I don't like you,
if I don't like you or you don'tlike me, that's a different
story because I'm not apushover, right?
(20:50):
You can't.
Mistake kindness for weakness.
So I'm definitely not someonewho is fun or you can mess with
just because I'm kind and if wedon't get along.
Because that's not how thatworks.
But anyway, I met her mother.
It went well.
(21:11):
Eventually I met her father.
It went well.
And that all worked out and itwas great.
And I went to her party and itwas long.
I'm not used to staying up allnight.
It was really tough for me.
When I'm in a country whereeveryone speaks Portuguese, so I
couldn't exactly flow theconversations with other people.
(21:36):
My wife had to be a translatorfor me, but frankly, she wasn't
even trying to do that.
She wasn't trying to They wereher friends and her family and
she was busy in her ownconversations and she wasn't
there to be a translator for meto speak with her friends and
her family and that stuff.
So she didn't do that a wholelot.
(21:57):
So it was most of the time wasme talking to her or not really
at all, which is fine, but itjust makes for a longer night.
So we got through the party andit was cool.
Some great pictures.
And then at the hotel where wewere staying, I had to have my
(22:17):
interview for the VA job.
So while I was in Brazil, I hadto do a video call for my
interview for the job with theprime contractor that my company
is the subcontractor under.
And I was totally unprepared forthat.
And what I mean by that is Ithought I was interviewing with
(22:40):
my company and And they weregoing to hire me and then I
would get a position.
What I didn't realize is theywere just a bridge.
They were okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
We like you.
We want to hire you, but now youhave to go talk to the prime
contractor and the leadershipthere and they have to like you
(23:01):
and they have to hire you.
I don't know if it was better orworse that I didn't know that
until the day that it happened,but that's exactly what
happened.
I Got put on an interview whilein Brazil in my hotel room,
video call.
And it was an interview that Ididn't know was coming.
(23:21):
But it went very well.
It went so well, as I statedbefore, that later that same
day, they gave me a job offer,which was ecstatic news because
now I knew I could get out ofthis job where I was driving far
away every day.
(23:42):
And wasn't able to see my kids.
Now I could go back to gettingmy kids and making sure they got
to and from school while workingfrom home.
So that was exciting.
And so I spent my time in SaoPaulo and my wife had her,
finally, her upcoming, we hadgotten through two steps of the
(24:04):
process to get her visa to cometo America.
And they went smoothly.
And I can't emphasize enough howmuch that was due to her
diligence and making sure thatour documents were done right.
Our passports were scannedproperly.
(24:26):
Just all the things that we hadto redo as she was learning why
other people were gettingrejected and just the minor
things that you think wouldn'teven be significant, was
significant enough to delaypeople's processing for several
months.
And so we got through thatsmoothly.
(24:47):
And she got the appointment tovisit the US immigration office.
I forget what it's called inanother country.
People are probably screaming inthere, in there, whatever you're
listening to right now, tellingme the name of it, but I forget
what it's called.
(25:08):
When your government is inanother country, Gosh darn it.
Anyway, she had her interviewcoming up after I'd left.
And that interview was a make orbreak interview.
That interview was where theywere going to approve or deny
her visa request.
(25:30):
And she was very nervous aboutit, obviously, because she's the
one that has to get interviewed.
Her English is terrible.
really good in my opinion, butstill a work in progress and her
confidence in her English wasn'tas high as I thought it should
be.
So yeah, we were both reallynervous about it.
(25:51):
So I flew back to America andshe had to go to her visa
interview and she went to it andvoila, she got approved and she
got approved and We were soexcited when she told me she was
approved.
I started crying.
She started crying.
And it was a very emotionalmoment of all the tense
(26:19):
unknowing how this process wasgoing to go.
Was it going to work out?
Was she going to get in thecountry?
Would it be soon?
Would it take years?
It's just really, it's really ahuge strain on your mental
health.
and your anxieties.
And so finally we had an answerand finally we could prepare for
(26:40):
that.
I'm going to leave this episodeand I will pick up from there
next episode.
Thanks for listening.
Talk to you next time.
Welcome back.
Brandon Held, Life is Crazy,episode 23.
Last episode, I went into greatdetail about how my wife and I
were ending up meeting in theBahamas to get married.
And I'm not sure if it was toomuch detail, if people care
(00:27):
about this detail, but it was apretty...
significant part of my life forme and so I guess I'm gonna trim
the fat a little bit thisepisode and talk about more
stuff on our journey togetherwithout getting so deep down
(00:48):
into the details because ifpeople express interest in stuff
like that I can always do thatat a Later time on a different
podcast.
And don't forget if you'relistening to this for the first
time, don't listen to thispodcast.
Start at episode one.
(01:09):
This is a podcast that needs tobe heard from the beginning to
understand what's going on.
So please go back to episode oneand start from the beginning.
And visit BrandonHeld.com ifthat's not where you're
listening to this.
podcast from please go check outmy website and donate if you can
(01:33):
that would be greatlyappreciated so I can keep this
going and I would love to dothat if you know there's an
audience and people areinterested and eventually
someday who knows this could gointo something else and maybe
take guests or whatever the casemay be But check out my website,
(01:58):
brandonhell.com.
So last episode, I had landed inthe Bahamas with a little bit of
a mixed situation where it was astruggle to get there on time.
The hotel, the resort is what itwas called that we were staying
(02:18):
at felt a little cheated by whatthey showed online versus what
we actually got in person.
But I was with Juliana and wewere going to get married and we
really had to focus on thatpart, right?
This was a vacation together sowe could be with each other and
(02:40):
enjoy each other's company forthe limited number of eight
days.
But also we had to get married.
It was something we had to dowhile we were there.
If you ever want to get marriedin the Bahamas, I wouldn't
recommend it unless you want tojust pay out the wazoo.
(03:02):
If you have an unlimited incomeand you want to go to the
Bahamas and you want to justspend an insane amount of money,
then power to you.
It would probably be a muchbetter experience than we had.
But we had a struggle.
We had a struggle trying to geta marriage certificate.
(03:25):
And a little bit of luck wasinvolved in that.
The government workers in theBahamas make our American
government workers look like,like they are the best workers
in the world because they'rejust really slow and really lazy
in the Bahamas.
(03:46):
I think it's a culture thing.
I think it's an Island thing ingeneral.
That security of that governmentjob.
Probably makes it even worse.
It was really tough to get acertificate.
It was tough to try to getmarried.
I'm walking around and what Iwould later learn after I
(04:07):
returned back home and went to adoctor on two stress fractured
ankles for an eight day trial.
I'm trying to make the best ofthis thing, just in super
incredible pain in my ankles thewhole time, barely walking.
Every step was painful.
Like someone was stabbing mewith needles, but we were able
(04:28):
to get it done and we were ableto meet some nice local who gave
us a hookup on a photographer ata reasonable price.
And it was a little roughbecause I thought you had that
little tinge of doubt that youwere getting taken by a
(04:53):
photographer because he took ourpictures on the beach for our
wedding photos and it wasn'tthat many it was really like a
dozen or at least that's what weended up with but it wasn't a
lot that he took when we werethere maybe 20 and it just took
him weeks and to get those to usweeks.
(05:14):
It just, there was just no logicor reason behind why it would
take so long for that to be doneother than just the cultural
difference in work ethic there.
So all in all, the Bahamas is anincredibly beautiful place to
look at.
And being with my now wife wasgreat because I always loved
(05:40):
being with her.
Absence makes the heart growfonder, and it certainly did.
But the Bahamas itself was notan enjoyable trip, and I didn't
really care for it, and I wouldbe hard-pressed to ever want to
go back there again.
I never say never, but itcertainly wouldn't be any type
(06:02):
of priority on my list.
The only problem is that's wherewe got married, so...
Is there some time in the futurewe want to recapture that memory
by revisiting?
I don't know.
Who knows?
Maybe after time passes.
But so far for now, I don't havethe best of feelings of the
(06:26):
Bahamas for multiple reasons.
It wasn't easy to get.
Some certified documents that weneeded for her spousal visa that
we absolutely needed from themfor her to get here to America.
There's just some stuff in thefuture that we also had to rely
on the Bahamas to provide andthey provided it with the same
(06:48):
slow.
We do things on our timeefficiency that they just do in
the Bahamas.
So I wouldn't recommend that foranyone.
And that's all I'll really sayabout that trip.
We had a good trip together.
It was great for us, just likethe two of us as far as our
(07:10):
chemistry and how we get alongand our love for each other and
our husband and wife, which forher was a first, right?
I'm the first man she evermarried.
But for me, it was my fourthwife.
But I knew this one was special.
I knew it was different.
It didn't feel different.
like my previous marriages itdidn't it just had this i really
(07:37):
love this woman and i'm gonna bewith her for the rest of my life
feeling to it and so that'swhere we were and so obviously
of course we had to depart againand go back our separate ways
and While it was still tough, itdidn't hit the same way the
(07:58):
first time did, where we werejust sobbing at the gates,
realizing we were going to beapart because we were a little
more mentally prepared for whatwe were going through.
But not to say that doesn'tsuck, because it does suck.
The whole thing sucked, beingapart from each other and loving
(08:20):
each other so much and reallyonly being able to rely on video
calls to see each other and ofcourse after we were married and
she was done studying for hertests and what she had to do she
had more time so now we had moretime to text we had more time to
(08:43):
video call and it was justeasier to be in touch and even
though it was long distance itreally felt like it felt like I
was growing with a partner andwe were making decisions
together and we were planningfuture decisions together.
(09:04):
And we were discussing allaspects of our daily lives
together.
And it was a long distancemarriage, but it was a marriage
nonetheless.
And so we were working throughthe process.
I had to change the visa from afiance visa to a spousal visa.
(09:25):
So I had to go cancel the fiancevisa and submit a spousal visa
in its place.
And so we got married inSeptember and I was still
working at my old job before.
And I had fast forwarded a bitabout the new VA work from home
(09:49):
job that I was going to get.
Because that wouldn't happenuntil July of the following
year.
So we still had me workingduring this time on site, not
being a full-time father,missing my kids, now missing my
wife.
And all I really had was workand fitness.
(10:11):
So I really used that time totry to focus on fitness.
And my wife, who was...
into it as well and now she hadmore time to really study on it
and she has insanely fit her momhas been into fitness her whole
life and so she had a great rolemodel for fitness so it was a
(10:35):
big deal to her and my wife andhad a much better grasp on
nutrition and the knowledge ofnutrition than i did and i had
been a personal trainer foryears and years which i tried
skipped over in my storytellingsof how much personal training I
actually did in my life becausethere's no need to get into all
(10:59):
those details.
I told you one of thesignificant stories and that was
good enough.
I could tell you others, but Idon't know if you're interested
in that.
So I decided not to share allthat, but I had been into
fitness and working out andbeing a trainer and I did what I
thought was best from stuff Ihad read and learned for
(11:24):
nutrition.
But she, again, is just anincredible researcher.
And when she wants to learnsomething, she learns it and she
gets a lot of information aboutit.
So she was actually helping mewith my nutrition.
So while we were apart, we werefocusing both of us on getting
(11:47):
in more better shape for me itmeant becoming more muscular
becoming more ripped and tryingto shed fat loss and i wanted to
be strong i was approaching 50it was just outside of 50 and i
(12:08):
wanted to be as strong as icould be and she was Wanted to
be strong, but she cared moreabout the physical aesthetics of
it.
And her being a Brazilian, shewanted bigger thighs, bigger
ass, and the things that goalong, six-pack abs.
(12:31):
And that's what she was focusedon.
So that's what we did.
We spent our time working andgoing to the gym.
While I worked, she didn't.
Because she was...
How could she apply to go be alawyer somewhere in Brazil and
say, I'm going to have to moveto America pretty much at a
(12:52):
moment's notice because whenevermy visa is approved, that's when
I'm going.
It's not fair to any company todo that to them.
She was my wife now, so I washelping her out.
A little bit financially, notmuch.
I offered her more than shetook.
So that should tell you a lotabout her.
(13:12):
She genuinely tried to use theminimum that she needed to get
by.
And so she could really justfocus on fitness and other
things like our visa.
And she really focused on thevisa and she did a lot of
research and she learned a lot.
(13:33):
And that made a huge difference.
She is a lawyer.
A lot of people hire lawyers togo through the visa process when
they're trying to get asignificant other into America
from another country.
And even American lawyers makemistakes all the time.
When we went through our processand we put in our documents and
(13:54):
we did the things we thought wewere supposed to do, but she was
constantly finding mistakes wehad made and we were able to
correct those mistakes andupdate our documents and put in
better documents.
And we could only do thatthrough her hard work and
research.
So she really did an amazing jobwith that.
(14:18):
From September until January,the end of January, we weren't
able to see each other.
That was, I think, the longestperiod to that point that we had
not seen each other.
And it was tough.
It was super tough.
This time I decided to go allthe way to Brazil and meet her
(14:41):
in Sao Paulo, Brazil, because Iwanted to know what Sao Paulo
was like.
It was the biggest city inBrazil, I think.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is.
And it's not on a beach oranything, but I wanted to mix it
up.
Our first two trips had beenbeaches.
She loves beaches.
(15:03):
So it took a little convincingon my part to do a more city
oriented vacation.
And I tried to explain, it'd belike, if you were in America and
we went to New York city orsomething, you do the city
thing.
So we did it and I loved it.
I had a great time in Sao Paulo.
(15:25):
I thought it was great.
I enjoyed it.
And we had another great eightdays together.
And we were husband and wifefrom the beginning this time.
So we were meeting as husbandand wife.
And that's really all I'm goingto say about Sao Paulo.
(15:49):
I loved it.
There's not a lot to talk aboutit.
I could go into detail, butagain, it's the same.
Not sure how interested you are,but Brazil's beautiful.
The food's great and the peopleare great.
So I enjoyed it.
the trip to Sao Paulo.
And so then we depart at the endof that trip.
(16:10):
And I probably would have goneback earlier to see her, but she
had a huge, I would have goneback in April, but she had a
huge party that they had beenplanning literally for four
years for her law schoolgraduation.
And it was like nothinghappened.
(16:31):
We do in America, at least notanyone I know.
And that graduation party is theentire class of her law school
graduation, which wasn't a lotof people, but the whole, the
idea is it's the gathering ofthat group, right?
I'm not sure if it was like adozen or whatever it was.
(16:53):
And this was all their entiregraduation party.
And it started at 8 PM.
or 10 PM.
I'm not sure.
It started sometime that nightand went until the next morning,
like 8 AM the next morning.
It was an all night part.
And I certainly wasn't used tostaying up all night.
(17:17):
And I, one, I was beingimpatient as I am.
Impatience is my biggestweakness.
It's something I've beenstruggling with and working on
my whole life.
A lot of things in life that Istruggle with I've been able to
adapt and overcome for the mostpart or at least be better but
(17:39):
impatience is one of those onesthat I've just never gotten a
grasp on and I still strugglewith to this day so I would have
been impatient and I would havecame a month earlier more than a
month earlier because this wasat the end of May I would have
(18:01):
not gone to her graduationparty, but she wanted me there
for her graduation party.
That was more important to her.
She thought she would enjoy itmore if I was there.
It was going to be a good time,lots of food and friends and
family and everything else.
So she just wanted me to be apart of it.
(18:22):
So I waited till the end of Mayto go there for that.
I flew to her hometown area thistime and I stayed there and this
was for the first time after wewere husband and wife I was
going to meet her mother and herfather who were not together
(18:42):
they've been divorced since shewas nine and her mother does not
like her father at all so I wasnot going to see them together
because they literally haven'tbeen together in in the same
room since they broke up when mywife was nine years old or
(19:02):
divorced, whatever, when my wifewas nine years old.
It was going to have to beseparate visits, separate things
to do.
And I met her mother first and Icould tell she was skeptical
about me, staring me up anddown.
Who's this guy that married mydaughter that I never got to
meet?
I don't know anything about.
(19:23):
And I get it.
Totally get it.
Being a parent, I wouldn't behappy about the way we went
about this too, because theydidn't learn.
Her mother didn't even learn wewere engaged till much after the
fact.
And she knew that we weregetting married and we didn't
(19:45):
bring her to the Bahamas withus.
So she was probably a littleupset by the fact that she
didn't get to attend her one andonly daughter's wedding.
I'm not probably, she definitelywas as anyone would be.
And then conversely, her fatherdidn't know about any of it
(20:05):
until it was done.
She didn't even tell her dadthat we got married and
everything until after it wasall done.
We were already husband andwife.
Her dad didn't even know Iexisted until we were already
husband and wife.
So I knew that I wasn't steppinginto the greatest situation, but
(20:27):
it was time to face the Piper.
It had to happen at some point.
That was the time, and I'm aconfident person.
I know I'm a good person,caring, kind, easy to get along
with.
Of course, if we don't have anyproblems, if I don't like you,
if I don't like you or you don'tlike me, that's a different
story because I'm not apushover, right?
(20:50):
You can't.
Mistake kindness for weakness.
So I'm definitely not someonewho is fun or you can mess with
just because I'm kind and if wedon't get along.
Because that's not how thatworks.
But anyway, I met her mother.
It went well.
(21:11):
Eventually I met her father.
It went well.
And that all worked out and itwas great.
And I went to her party and itwas long.
I'm not used to staying up allnight.
It was really tough for me.
When I'm in a country whereeveryone speaks Portuguese, so I
couldn't exactly flow theconversations with other people.
(21:36):
My wife had to be a translatorfor me, but frankly, she wasn't
even trying to do that.
She wasn't trying to They wereher friends and her family and
she was busy in her ownconversations and she wasn't
there to be a translator for meto speak with her friends and
her family and that stuff.
So she didn't do that a wholelot.
(21:57):
So it was most of the time wasme talking to her or not really
at all, which is fine, but itjust makes for a longer night.
So we got through the party andit was cool.
Some great pictures.
And then at the hotel where wewere staying, I had to have my
(22:17):
interview for the VA job.
So while I was in Brazil, I hadto do a video call for my
interview for the job with theprime contractor that my company
is the subcontractor under.
And I was totally unprepared forthat.
And what I mean by that is Ithought I was interviewing with
(22:40):
my company and And they weregoing to hire me and then I
would get a position.
What I didn't realize is theywere just a bridge.
They were okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
We like you.
We want to hire you, but now youhave to go talk to the prime
contractor and the leadershipthere and they have to like you
(23:01):
and they have to hire you.
I don't know if it was better orworse that I didn't know that
until the day that it happened,but that's exactly what
happened.
I Got put on an interview whilein Brazil in my hotel room,
video call.
And it was an interview that Ididn't know was coming.
(23:21):
But it went very well.
It went so well, as I statedbefore, that later that same
day, they gave me a job offer,which was ecstatic news because
now I knew I could get out ofthis job where I was driving far
away every day.
(23:42):
And wasn't able to see my kids.
Now I could go back to gettingmy kids and making sure they got
to and from school while workingfrom home.
So that was exciting.
And so I spent my time in SaoPaulo and my wife had her,
finally, her upcoming, we hadgotten through two steps of the
(24:04):
process to get her visa to cometo America.
And they went smoothly.
And I can't emphasize enough howmuch that was due to her
diligence and making sure thatour documents were done right.
Our passports were scannedproperly.
(24:26):
Just all the things that we hadto redo as she was learning why
other people were gettingrejected and just the minor
things that you think wouldn'teven be significant, was
significant enough to delaypeople's processing for several
months.
And so we got through thatsmoothly.
(24:47):
And she got the appointment tovisit the US immigration office.
I forget what it's called inanother country.
People are probably screaming inthere, in there, whatever you're
listening to right now, tellingme the name of it, but I forget
what it's called.
(25:08):
When your government is inanother country, Gosh darn it.
Anyway, she had her interviewcoming up after I'd left.
And that interview was a make orbreak interview.
That interview was where theywere going to approve or deny
her visa request.
(25:30):
And she was very nervous aboutit, obviously, because she's the
one that has to get interviewed.
Her English is terrible.
really good in my opinion, butstill a work in progress and her
confidence in her English wasn'tas high as I thought it should
be.
So yeah, we were both reallynervous about it.
(25:51):
So I flew back to America andshe had to go to her visa
interview and she went to it andvoila, she got approved and she
got approved and We were soexcited when she told me she was
approved.
I started crying.
She started crying.
And it was a very emotionalmoment of all the tense
(26:19):
unknowing how this process wasgoing to go.
Was it going to work out?
Was she going to get in thecountry?
Would it be soon?
Would it take years?
It's just really, it's really ahuge strain on your mental
health.
and your anxieties.
And so finally we had an answerand finally we could prepare for
(26:40):
that.
I'm going to leave this episodeand I will pick up from there
next episode.
Thanks for listening.
Talk to you next time.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.