April 3, 2025 • 27 mins
Brandon Held wraps up his life story by sharing significant recent events including his grandmother's passing, estrangement from his son, and health challenges that derailed his fitness journey at age 50. Despite experiencing profound grief, relationship uncertainties, and medical issues, he continues moving forward with a new home, supporting his wife's law school aspirations, and recommitting to his health and fitness goals.
Please start with Episode 1. Go to my site BrandonHeld.com
• Visited his grandmother "Mamaw" before she passed and cherishes their final breakfast together at Bob Evans
• Currently experiencing unexplained estrangement from his adult son Ethan despite previously close relationship
• Purchased a new home in 2023 and developed a loving relationship with his Brazilian mother-in-law despite language barriers
• May need to relocate depending on when/where his wife gets accepted to law school
• Experienced debilitating nerve pain and headaches after turning 50 that derailed his fitness and caused significant weight gain
• Finally received effective treatment and is now working to get back in shape
• Plans for future episodes
BrandonHeld.com iPad drawing for Life Coaching clients
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
Welcome back.
This is Brandon Held, Life isCrazy, episode 25.
All the joys of podcasting.
So I had already completed thisepisode and then, you know, I
went back to listen to it afterthe fact and the recording.
(00:22):
I was trying to convince myselfto just let it ride, but
couldn't even listen to it.
It was my own podcast, so.
I sounded like I was in a tube.
I was talking through a tubeinto a microphone.
Not paid$100 grade quality oranything, but it is
(00:44):
disappointing for a$100microphone the way I feel like
the quality of this microphonehappens to be.
So anyway, enough about that.
I also wanted to tell you thatif you're listening to this
podcast for the first time,Please start in episode one, the
(01:04):
story of my life.
And episode one, obviously, isthe beginning.
And you go to brandingheld.com,no matter where you found this
podcast, because I am listed onevery type of podcast except for
YouTube.
But I'd prefer people go to mypage.
(01:25):
Having said that, I'm last.
episode, I went off on a tangentabout becoming a better man,
which is a big point of emphasismy entire life, but that was
more related to relationships.
So I'm going to finish up thisepisode and bring you to the
current state of my life.
(01:45):
I'll go through the last coupleof years pretty quickly, and
I'll start with what was one ofthe most difficult times of all
for me.
And that was the passing of mymamaw, my grandmother, one of
the most significant people inmy entire life.
(02:06):
You know, so was mygreat-grandmother, honestly.
And she was in my life until Iwas in my early to mid-20s.
And she was a strong woman whowas so strong and I thought mean
that I didn't think Loved meinto, you know, work ethic in me
(02:26):
and understanding don't justhalf-ass your way through
things.
If you're going to do something,give it your best effort.
And that gave me a sense ofpride for things that I do.
My great-grandma did that.
My grandma was more the justsoft, loving type.
Just the I love you no matterwhat or who you are type.
(02:50):
And for me, that worked outgreat.
I can't say so much for a lot ofother people.
As much as I love her and lovedher, she was just an enabler to
some of my uncles beingalcoholics, no matter what.
And anyway, I went back to Ohiowith my wife, June, when she was
(03:15):
towards the end of her time.
She had been on dialysis forsome years and now she was just
And that was really bad.
And my mom had relayed to me, Ineed to come see her if I wanted
to see her alive again.
And I had a choice.
I could go see her alive andmiss her funeral.
Or I could wait till she passedand go to her funeral.
(03:39):
So I chose the first option.
And she made it clear to me whenI was there that she was glad I
chose that option.
She was constantly telling me,I'm so happy to see you.
I'm glad you're here.
And that felt good.
And she made it clear that shewould rather me be there towards
(04:01):
the end.
So I made the right decision.
And when I was there to see her,it was a good and bad time.
The good time was I got to seemy brother, which is always
great.
I love my brother RJ very much.
He has his own demons and stuffto work through.
I got my son, Ethan, to come up,drive up like almost three
(04:25):
hours, I think, from Dayton toheading out while we were there.
And my wife, Jew, was meetingthe whole family.
Juliana was meeting the wholefamily.
And my son, Ethan, for the firsttime.
And it was all pretty good.
The only real issues I had,obviously, were my grandma was
(04:47):
bedridden and she died.
Couldn't get up, and my aunt,her oldest daughter, was like a
pit bull, not wanting her to getup.
A woman in bed who basicallyonly got up to go to her
dialysis, and that was it.
And my grandma was 92, and shewould take herself to her own
(05:11):
dialysis.
She could barely walk.
She, just to tell you what kindof person she was, she didn't
want the other people aroundher, some who were unemployed
and had nothing better to do.
And she still took herself toher dialysis, which was wild to
(05:31):
me when I found that out.
But anyway, my aunt and I got ina fight.
A big part of my childhood andmy memories with her was her
taking me and my sister to Andsometimes my brother out to eat
every once in a while.
She did other things like takeus to Cedar Point and take us
(05:52):
all to on vacations, not likeanything extravagant.
But it was the only type ofthings I got to do that were
outside of just growing up in mysmall town and living in my
small town because my motherwasn't able to provide those
things.
And she didn't take us on tripsor vacations or anything like
(06:12):
that or anything Even take us toCedar Point.
My mom was a very absent mother.
She was a very hands-off mother.
And my grandma filled that rolea little bit.
And so it was a tough time thatshe was at the end of her ropes.
(06:34):
And so finally, after fightingwith my parents, my vital
morning there, I got to teach.
We went out.
I don't know, a bunch of familymembers.
There were probably 10 to adozen of us.
Went to a breakfast at BobEvans, which was a classic thing
(06:55):
we used to do.
And it was just great.
It was a wonderful time withher.
And I left Ohio later that day.
Everything was good.
I got to see my grandma.
My aunt and I had said ourapologies after fighting.
I got to see my mom, my sister,my brother, my son Ethan, my
(07:19):
brother's family.
And everything was cool to ourlives.
And after we had returned, itwasn't but I believe about three
days later that my grandmotherpassed.
And that was really difficultand hard.
And as an almost 50-year-old manat that time, I cried.
(07:41):
There's been multiple times whenI've thought about her just out
of nowhere or something hashappened and it makes me sad and
sometimes brings me to tears.
I was at a theater and this wasbefore I went in bad shape and I
(08:04):
was at this gaslight theater inTucson, Arizona and at the end
of the show, They were payinghomage to people who were there
for anniversaries or whatever,and they just started singing a
song called Don't You Call MeSweetheart, and my grandma
crying in a damn show.
(08:25):
People probably thinking I wascrazy if they saw me, but it
just hit me like if someone hadpunched me right in the face
where I was fine, and all of asudden, boom, I got hit with
this flood of emotion.
And so I've been going throughthat and that was the toughest
(08:48):
loss.
And then also shortly after thattime that I visited Ohio, Ethan,
who I was on good terms withwhen we left, one difficult
period in our relationship whereI used to get him for every
summer after I joined the armyand he would stay with me until
(09:09):
he was 14.
And then the year that he was 14and he came to stay with me, him
and my ex-wife were just at eachother so badly that it was
miserable for everyone involved,including myself.
(09:31):
And he was breaking some rules,being a little rebellious, 14
year old, a little bit again.
Not in my opinion at the time ornow, was he like out of control
or anything?
I just didn't want to followevery rule that was set forth
because he wasn't used to thatlife when he was with his
(09:51):
mother.
But still a little, can you justhelp me out here?
And then with her, I'm trying tobalance having my son there and
make her happy.
She was just, she's someone thatyou couldn't rationalize with.
She was irrational and she justhad this ridiculous set of rules
(10:15):
and would just lose her mind ifshe left his towel in the
bedroom instead of taking itback to the bathroom after he
showered.
Like one thing she definitely,the important things in life,
like the things that reallymatter, she would get so upset
over the dumbest things.
I remember one time my kids gota toy from Chick-fil-A and their
(10:41):
kids meal was a cheap littlething and Maximus broke it like
pretty much within an hour ormore and I was like what is
wrong with this woman like shehas no perspective on what's
important in life and I alwaysfelt that way about her and I
tried to help her getperspective but you can only do
(11:03):
so much people are who they areI told Ethan I said look You
don't have to come back herenext summer if you don't want.
You don't have to come backagain if you don't want to,
because if I were you, Iwouldn't want to be here.
And I said, I love you and Iwant you here, but it's the way
(11:25):
that she is and you're nothelping because you don't want
to listen and follow her rules.
And you never did.
come stay with me again.
And I got divorced when he wasturning 18.
So that was the end of that.
He was off to college.
But he got to come stay with meat one point.
(11:46):
And what happened through that,as I already explained that to
you.
And through it all, I tried tobe a good dad to him.
I tried to give him sound adviceand guidance in life and I don't
know.
He just decided to cut me off acouple months after I was in
(12:07):
Ohio to see him.
Don't know why.
Don't understand why.
I love him.
I miss him.
Some days I cry about it, butI'm going to let him be.
I'm going to let him be untilhe's ready to be in my life
again.
I want him in my life, and Imiss talking to be someplace he
(12:29):
doesn't want to be.
So that's where thatrelationship is at right now as
I record this podcast.
And so back here in Arizona, mywife and I decided that and I
wanted to buy a home.
So we did that.
We bought a brand new home inJuly of 2023.
(12:50):
It was newly built.
When I say brand new, I mean, Ilove the house.
And I hope I get to stay herefor a while, but I don't know if
I'm going to.
But what's cool about it, whenwe moved, was her mother, who is
(13:10):
Brazilian and speaks Portuguese,doesn't speak English, she got
to come visit us in America forthe first time.
And she helped us move, and itwas great to see her.
It was my first experience ofjust being around her on a
regular basis.
She has like a fun, lovingenergy, and she's a great cook,
(13:31):
and she's a hard worker.
She's helping us move.
And that was nice.
That was where we started tostart a bond together, her
mother and I.
And, you know, we get, we haveto translate when we talk,
either through my wife orthrough a translator, but it's
(13:54):
just all good.
It's all positive.
There's no translation needed inhugs.
And you just know when twopeople care for each other.
And so she got to see our newhome and how well her daughter
did some of the gear with me inAmerica.
Not saying she didn't before.
You don't know what yourdaughter is going to be in
(14:17):
another country until you get tocome see it for yourself.
everything that's going on withher daughter and our
relationship and her life inAmerica, even though they're
apart.
And for that, she's thankful andshe has shown that to me and I
can tell that and I appreciatethat.
My wife is currently workingfull-time, which is basically a
(14:40):
master's degree in law, but shehas decided and realized as her
impending completion isapproaching, that she wants to
get a JD.
So she's going to be applyingfor law school to get out just
this new home, even though it'snot even two years old.
(15:01):
And that'll be where, cause Ilove this house, but I can't
bring my wife from anothercountry who gives up everything.
Be like, Oh, I can't move toanother city because I love my
house, and I want to be close tomy kids.
It's not far.
We would potentially move toPhoenix, which isn't that far
(15:23):
from Tucson, and I could stillsee my kids.
But you would mean leaving thishome.
So that was it.
She doesn't like me talkingabout that stuff.
She says, what if I don't getaccepted into law school?
You're telling people this.
But she will.
She's...
English is her second language,and she gets strange, and...
(15:45):
college, master's degree,English.
And she doesn't even, I think,sometimes understand just how
capable she is.
And so I try and pick her upwhen she needs that.
And then finally, I have beenworking out, getting back in
(16:06):
shape.
Back in 2023, I turned inAugust, I turned 50 and I was
About in the greatest shape ofmy life, I don't know about
cardiovascularly, butstrength-wise, I could,
according to muscle fitness,adopt just by far the strongest
(16:28):
I had ever been.
And I don't max because I don'tlike putting that kind of
pressure on my joints.
But I was able to bench press315.
I could rep that eight times inseconds.
incline bench press or 95-pounddumbbells, eight repetitions of
95-pound dumbbells.
(16:50):
And legs were strong, calveswere strong, everything was
strong, back was strong.
I was doing really well.
And then out of nowhere, I hadtwo medical issues pop up.
The first I had this feeling inmy arms that basically started
from my shoulders and shot allthe way down my arms to my hands
(17:13):
like a lightning bolt.
Imagine a lightning boltstriking your shoulder and going
down your arm.
That's what that was feelinglike.
And I had gone to some doctorsand I tried to see what was
going on there and no one reallyor how to treat it or anything I
could do.
And I just actually recently hadA PA at an allergist's office
(17:37):
really gave me a solidexplanation of what could be
going on with nerve overuse,just like you can do overuse of
your joints.
That's probably most likely whatwas going on in that situation.
And very shortly thereafter, Igot this insane headache that
(18:00):
was incredibly painful, sopainful I had to take a full
week off of work for a headache.
You know, I barely ever hadheadaches in my entire life.
Now I get this thing probablyequal to a migraine.
For the first time in my life,because I had never had a
(18:21):
migraine, it was terrible.
It shut me down and nothing was,I was taking Motrin, et cetera,
Tylenol.
And then finally after a week,Like seven days, it finally
decided to die down and give mesome reprieve.
I don't know what I did or howit happened or why, but it
(18:44):
happened.
But it never went away.
And so for a year and a half, Ihad been going all these things
to try to help take care of thisfootache.
I had even gone to the emergencyroom twice, the VA emergency
room.
And they really just gave mesome motion, threw an IV in me
and sent me on my way.
(19:05):
And finally I got to aneurologist who, you know,
really helped me by putting meon a medication called
nortriptyline.
And it finally got to where myheadaches were controllable
again.
And they were exercise inducedbefore they were.
(19:26):
I woke up and it was like alevel two or three pain if I
tried to do some kind of workoutor exercise because I was like,
oh, it's not so bad today.
Yeah, so I was in pretty badshape and I got out of shape
over that year and a half.
And not only wasn't I able towork out, I went crazy on
(19:49):
letting go of my diet becausefor whatever reason, when I'm
exercising and working out, It'swild.
And then when I stopped workingout, my body's, oh, give me
sugar.
Give me pizza.
Give me snacks.
I love sugar.
Give me sugar.
And I gave into it.
I wasn't holding back.
(20:11):
Part of it was because I hadbeen on such a structured,
regimented lifestyle prior tothat that it hurt me like a
bitch.
And it's never going away.
So I'm going to get comfortsomewhere.
And I got it in food.
I allowed myself to get up toabout 246 pounds and a little
bit of a belly.
And now I'm back to the morestructured, healthy eating and
(20:37):
trying to get myself as close toback to where I was at 50 as I
can.
Probably less strength and morejust fitness this time.
I'll probably trim down.
I don't know what the reality ofmy situation is going to be.
I think in my head, 215 would bea good ideal weight at 630
(21:01):
pounds away from where I amright now.
So that's what I'm going to bedoing and that's what I'm going
to be working on.
And so this brings the end of mylife story and current to where
I'm at right now.
And dialing some ideas, talkingabout my time in the Air Force
(21:22):
versus the Army and comparing itto talking about lessons I
learned from marriage anddivorce.
I'm on my fourth marriage.
Lessons in fatherhood and beinga father.
Lessons on my professionaljourney for work.
And, you know, nutrition.
(21:42):
stuff that I know and havelearned along the way in life
too.
And those are just some of theideas that I have right now for
different podcasts goingforward.
And I thank you for listening tomy life story and I thank you
for listening to this episodeand
Welcome back.
This is Brandon Held, Life isCrazy, episode 25.
All the joys of podcasting.
So I had already completed thisepisode and then, you know, I
went back to listen to it afterthe fact and the recording.
(00:22):
I was trying to convince myselfto just let it ride, but
couldn't even listen to it.
It was my own podcast, so.
I sounded like I was in a tube.
I was talking through a tubeinto a microphone.
Not paid$100 grade quality oranything, but it is
(00:44):
disappointing for a$100microphone the way I feel like
the quality of this microphonehappens to be.
So anyway, enough about that.
I also wanted to tell you thatif you're listening to this
podcast for the first time,Please start in episode one, the
(01:04):
story of my life.
And episode one, obviously, isthe beginning.
And you go to brandingheld.com,no matter where you found this
podcast, because I am listed onevery type of podcast except for
YouTube.
But I'd prefer people go to mypage.
(01:25):
Having said that, I'm last.
episode, I went off on a tangentabout becoming a better man,
which is a big point of emphasismy entire life, but that was
more related to relationships.
So I'm going to finish up thisepisode and bring you to the
current state of my life.
(01:45):
I'll go through the last coupleof years pretty quickly, and
I'll start with what was one ofthe most difficult times of all
for me.
And that was the passing of mymamaw, my grandmother, one of
the most significant people inmy entire life.
(02:06):
You know, so was mygreat-grandmother, honestly.
And she was in my life until Iwas in my early to mid-20s.
And she was a strong woman whowas so strong and I thought mean
that I didn't think Loved meinto, you know, work ethic in me
(02:26):
and understanding don't justhalf-ass your way through
things.
If you're going to do something,give it your best effort.
And that gave me a sense ofpride for things that I do.
My great-grandma did that.
My grandma was more the justsoft, loving type.
Just the I love you no matterwhat or who you are type.
(02:50):
And for me, that worked outgreat.
I can't say so much for a lot ofother people.
As much as I love her and lovedher, she was just an enabler to
some of my uncles beingalcoholics, no matter what.
And anyway, I went back to Ohiowith my wife, June, when she was
(03:15):
towards the end of her time.
She had been on dialysis forsome years and now she was just
And that was really bad.
And my mom had relayed to me, Ineed to come see her if I wanted
to see her alive again.
And I had a choice.
I could go see her alive andmiss her funeral.
Or I could wait till she passedand go to her funeral.
(03:39):
So I chose the first option.
And she made it clear to me whenI was there that she was glad I
chose that option.
She was constantly telling me,I'm so happy to see you.
I'm glad you're here.
And that felt good.
And she made it clear that shewould rather me be there towards
(04:01):
the end.
So I made the right decision.
And when I was there to see her,it was a good and bad time.
The good time was I got to seemy brother, which is always
great.
I love my brother RJ very much.
He has his own demons and stuffto work through.
I got my son, Ethan, to come up,drive up like almost three
(04:25):
hours, I think, from Dayton toheading out while we were there.
And my wife, Jew, was meetingthe whole family.
Juliana was meeting the wholefamily.
And my son, Ethan, for the firsttime.
And it was all pretty good.
The only real issues I had,obviously, were my grandma was
(04:47):
bedridden and she died.
Couldn't get up, and my aunt,her oldest daughter, was like a
pit bull, not wanting her to getup.
A woman in bed who basicallyonly got up to go to her
dialysis, and that was it.
And my grandma was 92, and shewould take herself to her own
(05:11):
dialysis.
She could barely walk.
She, just to tell you what kindof person she was, she didn't
want the other people aroundher, some who were unemployed
and had nothing better to do.
And she still took herself toher dialysis, which was wild to
(05:31):
me when I found that out.
But anyway, my aunt and I got ina fight.
A big part of my childhood andmy memories with her was her
taking me and my sister to Andsometimes my brother out to eat
every once in a while.
She did other things like takeus to Cedar Point and take us
(05:52):
all to on vacations, not likeanything extravagant.
But it was the only type ofthings I got to do that were
outside of just growing up in mysmall town and living in my
small town because my motherwasn't able to provide those
things.
And she didn't take us on tripsor vacations or anything like
(06:12):
that or anything Even take us toCedar Point.
My mom was a very absent mother.
She was a very hands-off mother.
And my grandma filled that rolea little bit.
And so it was a tough time thatshe was at the end of her ropes.
(06:34):
And so finally, after fightingwith my parents, my vital
morning there, I got to teach.
We went out.
I don't know, a bunch of familymembers.
There were probably 10 to adozen of us.
Went to a breakfast at BobEvans, which was a classic thing
(06:55):
we used to do.
And it was just great.
It was a wonderful time withher.
And I left Ohio later that day.
Everything was good.
I got to see my grandma.
My aunt and I had said ourapologies after fighting.
I got to see my mom, my sister,my brother, my son Ethan, my
(07:19):
brother's family.
And everything was cool to ourlives.
And after we had returned, itwasn't but I believe about three
days later that my grandmotherpassed.
And that was really difficultand hard.
And as an almost 50-year-old manat that time, I cried.
(07:41):
There's been multiple times whenI've thought about her just out
of nowhere or something hashappened and it makes me sad and
sometimes brings me to tears.
I was at a theater and this wasbefore I went in bad shape and I
(08:04):
was at this gaslight theater inTucson, Arizona and at the end
of the show, They were payinghomage to people who were there
for anniversaries or whatever,and they just started singing a
song called Don't You Call MeSweetheart, and my grandma
crying in a damn show.
(08:25):
People probably thinking I wascrazy if they saw me, but it
just hit me like if someone hadpunched me right in the face
where I was fine, and all of asudden, boom, I got hit with
this flood of emotion.
And so I've been going throughthat and that was the toughest
(08:48):
loss.
And then also shortly after thattime that I visited Ohio, Ethan,
who I was on good terms withwhen we left, one difficult
period in our relationship whereI used to get him for every
summer after I joined the armyand he would stay with me until
(09:09):
he was 14.
And then the year that he was 14and he came to stay with me, him
and my ex-wife were just at eachother so badly that it was
miserable for everyone involved,including myself.
(09:31):
And he was breaking some rules,being a little rebellious, 14
year old, a little bit again.
Not in my opinion at the time ornow, was he like out of control
or anything?
I just didn't want to followevery rule that was set forth
because he wasn't used to thatlife when he was with his
(09:51):
mother.
But still a little, can you justhelp me out here?
And then with her, I'm trying tobalance having my son there and
make her happy.
She was just, she's someone thatyou couldn't rationalize with.
She was irrational and she justhad this ridiculous set of rules
(10:15):
and would just lose her mind ifshe left his towel in the
bedroom instead of taking itback to the bathroom after he
showered.
Like one thing she definitely,the important things in life,
like the things that reallymatter, she would get so upset
over the dumbest things.
I remember one time my kids gota toy from Chick-fil-A and their
(10:41):
kids meal was a cheap littlething and Maximus broke it like
pretty much within an hour ormore and I was like what is
wrong with this woman like shehas no perspective on what's
important in life and I alwaysfelt that way about her and I
tried to help her getperspective but you can only do
(11:03):
so much people are who they areI told Ethan I said look You
don't have to come back herenext summer if you don't want.
You don't have to come backagain if you don't want to,
because if I were you, Iwouldn't want to be here.
And I said, I love you and Iwant you here, but it's the way
(11:25):
that she is and you're nothelping because you don't want
to listen and follow her rules.
And you never did.
come stay with me again.
And I got divorced when he wasturning 18.
So that was the end of that.
He was off to college.
But he got to come stay with meat one point.
(11:46):
And what happened through that,as I already explained that to
you.
And through it all, I tried tobe a good dad to him.
I tried to give him sound adviceand guidance in life and I don't
know.
He just decided to cut me off acouple months after I was in
(12:07):
Ohio to see him.
Don't know why.
Don't understand why.
I love him.
I miss him.
Some days I cry about it, butI'm going to let him be.
I'm going to let him be untilhe's ready to be in my life
again.
I want him in my life, and Imiss talking to be someplace he
(12:29):
doesn't want to be.
So that's where thatrelationship is at right now as
I record this podcast.
And so back here in Arizona, mywife and I decided that and I
wanted to buy a home.
So we did that.
We bought a brand new home inJuly of 2023.
(12:50):
It was newly built.
When I say brand new, I mean, Ilove the house.
And I hope I get to stay herefor a while, but I don't know if
I'm going to.
But what's cool about it, whenwe moved, was her mother, who is
(13:10):
Brazilian and speaks Portuguese,doesn't speak English, she got
to come visit us in America forthe first time.
And she helped us move, and itwas great to see her.
It was my first experience ofjust being around her on a
regular basis.
She has like a fun, lovingenergy, and she's a great cook,
(13:31):
and she's a hard worker.
She's helping us move.
And that was nice.
That was where we started tostart a bond together, her
mother and I.
And, you know, we get, we haveto translate when we talk,
either through my wife orthrough a translator, but it's
(13:54):
just all good.
It's all positive.
There's no translation needed inhugs.
And you just know when twopeople care for each other.
And so she got to see our newhome and how well her daughter
did some of the gear with me inAmerica.
Not saying she didn't before.
You don't know what yourdaughter is going to be in
(14:17):
another country until you get tocome see it for yourself.
everything that's going on withher daughter and our
relationship and her life inAmerica, even though they're
apart.
And for that, she's thankful andshe has shown that to me and I
can tell that and I appreciatethat.
My wife is currently workingfull-time, which is basically a
(14:40):
master's degree in law, but shehas decided and realized as her
impending completion isapproaching, that she wants to
get a JD.
So she's going to be applyingfor law school to get out just
this new home, even though it'snot even two years old.
(15:01):
And that'll be where, cause Ilove this house, but I can't
bring my wife from anothercountry who gives up everything.
Be like, Oh, I can't move toanother city because I love my
house, and I want to be close tomy kids.
It's not far.
We would potentially move toPhoenix, which isn't that far
(15:23):
from Tucson, and I could stillsee my kids.
But you would mean leaving thishome.
So that was it.
She doesn't like me talkingabout that stuff.
She says, what if I don't getaccepted into law school?
You're telling people this.
But she will.
She's...
English is her second language,and she gets strange, and...
(15:45):
college, master's degree,English.
And she doesn't even, I think,sometimes understand just how
capable she is.
And so I try and pick her upwhen she needs that.
And then finally, I have beenworking out, getting back in
(16:06):
shape.
Back in 2023, I turned inAugust, I turned 50 and I was
About in the greatest shape ofmy life, I don't know about
cardiovascularly, butstrength-wise, I could,
according to muscle fitness,adopt just by far the strongest
(16:28):
I had ever been.
And I don't max because I don'tlike putting that kind of
pressure on my joints.
But I was able to bench press315.
I could rep that eight times inseconds.
incline bench press or 95-pounddumbbells, eight repetitions of
95-pound dumbbells.
(16:50):
And legs were strong, calveswere strong, everything was
strong, back was strong.
I was doing really well.
And then out of nowhere, I hadtwo medical issues pop up.
The first I had this feeling inmy arms that basically started
from my shoulders and shot allthe way down my arms to my hands
(17:13):
like a lightning bolt.
Imagine a lightning boltstriking your shoulder and going
down your arm.
That's what that was feelinglike.
And I had gone to some doctorsand I tried to see what was
going on there and no one reallyor how to treat it or anything I
could do.
And I just actually recently hadA PA at an allergist's office
(17:37):
really gave me a solidexplanation of what could be
going on with nerve overuse,just like you can do overuse of
your joints.
That's probably most likely whatwas going on in that situation.
And very shortly thereafter, Igot this insane headache that
(18:00):
was incredibly painful, sopainful I had to take a full
week off of work for a headache.
You know, I barely ever hadheadaches in my entire life.
Now I get this thing probablyequal to a migraine.
For the first time in my life,because I had never had a
(18:21):
migraine, it was terrible.
It shut me down and nothing was,I was taking Motrin, et cetera,
Tylenol.
And then finally after a week,Like seven days, it finally
decided to die down and give mesome reprieve.
I don't know what I did or howit happened or why, but it
(18:44):
happened.
But it never went away.
And so for a year and a half, Ihad been going all these things
to try to help take care of thisfootache.
I had even gone to the emergencyroom twice, the VA emergency
room.
And they really just gave mesome motion, threw an IV in me
and sent me on my way.
(19:05):
And finally I got to aneurologist who, you know,
really helped me by putting meon a medication called
nortriptyline.
And it finally got to where myheadaches were controllable
again.
And they were exercise inducedbefore they were.
(19:26):
I woke up and it was like alevel two or three pain if I
tried to do some kind of workoutor exercise because I was like,
oh, it's not so bad today.
Yeah, so I was in pretty badshape and I got out of shape
over that year and a half.
And not only wasn't I able towork out, I went crazy on
(19:49):
letting go of my diet becausefor whatever reason, when I'm
exercising and working out, It'swild.
And then when I stopped workingout, my body's, oh, give me
sugar.
Give me pizza.
Give me snacks.
I love sugar.
Give me sugar.
And I gave into it.
I wasn't holding back.
(20:11):
Part of it was because I hadbeen on such a structured,
regimented lifestyle prior tothat that it hurt me like a
bitch.
And it's never going away.
So I'm going to get comfortsomewhere.
And I got it in food.
I allowed myself to get up toabout 246 pounds and a little
bit of a belly.
And now I'm back to the morestructured, healthy eating and
(20:37):
trying to get myself as close toback to where I was at 50 as I
can.
Probably less strength and morejust fitness this time.
I'll probably trim down.
I don't know what the reality ofmy situation is going to be.
I think in my head, 215 would bea good ideal weight at 630
(21:01):
pounds away from where I amright now.
So that's what I'm going to bedoing and that's what I'm going
to be working on.
And so this brings the end of mylife story and current to where
I'm at right now.
And dialing some ideas, talkingabout my time in the Air Force
(21:22):
versus the Army and comparing itto talking about lessons I
learned from marriage anddivorce.
I'm on my fourth marriage.
Lessons in fatherhood and beinga father.
Lessons on my professionaljourney for work.
And, you know, nutrition.
(21:42):
stuff that I know and havelearned along the way in life
too.
And those are just some of theideas that I have right now for
different podcasts goingforward.
And I thank you for listening tomy life story and I thank you
for listening to this episodeand
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