April 1, 2025 • 19 mins
Brandon reflects on his journey through college after the Air Force, exploring the complex choices around dating, fatherhood, and personal transformation that shaped his character during a pivotal time in his life.
Please start with Episode 1. Go to my site BrandonHeld.com
• Remaining in a failing marriage while attending college partly for practical benefits
• Dating three women simultaneously and the moral boundary crossed when discovering one was married
• Making the difficult decision to transfer to Wright State University to be near his son Ethan
• Attempting to reconcile with his ex-wife before creating a new independent life
• Developing friendships with fraternity members without officially joining
• Transforming physically through weightlifting, gaining 25-30 pounds of muscle
• Maintaining strict personal standards in dating, refusing relationships with women who used drugs despite their attractiveness
• Building the courage to approach an intimidating woman at the gym
Join me for episode nine to find out what happened when I finally approached the redhead from the gym!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome back to Brandon Held, Life is Crazy,
Episode 8.
I have gotten you through mostof my childhood, my time in the
Air Force, my first marriage,and the birth of my son, Ethan.
I didn't get divorced for abouttwo or three years after I got
(00:24):
out of the Air Force.
I wasn't into the relationshipmuch anymore, but...
I was a poor college student andhad a place to live, food,
access to the gym, and all theamenities that came with being
(00:44):
in the military I still receivedas a dependent spouse.
I could play intramural sportson base.
I still played basketball.
I still played volleyball.
It was just with the medicalgroup.
I won a base championship involleyball.
I won a base championship inflag football.
(01:06):
These were as a civilian andthey were good times.
I had a great time, made somegood friends.
I started at Midtown State in mybroadcasting and journalism
degree.
And I started off light with geneds in early communication
classes.
It was great because I I wasdoing all right.
(01:28):
I was doing pretty well.
I was generally getting B's andsome A's.
It was building my confidencethat I could do this college
thing because I was doing italmost full time.
At some point, though, I hadgotten a job to be a server at
Applebee's mostly on theweekends while I was going to
(01:51):
college and I was still married.
But eventually my marriage cameto an end.
And in that time, I was datingthe three women, as I discussed.
One was a college student.
I met her in college.
One was a girl I saw at the poolwhen I was swimming.
And then the third was thisblonde that was interested in
(02:15):
me.
This is significant because ithelped me cross a line that you
can't uncross And it changesyou.
I lost one of my best friends ina divorce because he had
interests in my wife that Iwasn't aware of.
(02:36):
I start seeing this girl that Ithink is cute and is interested
in me.
We get together and hook up.
After we've been together a fewtimes, she springs on me that
she is married and has a husbandin the Air Force.
Had I known that, I would nothave been given her at the time
(02:58):
of day.
I wasn't that kind of person andI would have never helped
someone have an affair.
I would have not been a part ofthat consciously.
At this point, I had been withher and knew I enjoyed her
company.
And then after she told me thatline has been crossed.
(03:19):
So what can I do?
I can't go backwards.
So I What's done is done.
I crossed the moral thresholdthat I thought I would not ever
cross, but here I am.
I was with two other girls atthe same time as her.
The girl I was in college with,as far as I know, she wasn't
seeing anyone else.
(03:40):
She was only seeing me.
But the girl I met from the poolwas also seeing someone else,
but she wasn't being open andhonest about that.
Eventually that came to a headbecause I confronted her You
know, she said, you can't sayanything to me.
You're seeing other girls.
You know, I said, at least I washonest with you.
(04:00):
You were hiding that from me.
And then the married girl, thathad to end too.
I could only go with it for solong.
So after seeing all three, Ijust ended up dating the one
girl I was going to collegewith.
And so she was the one I wasseeing exclusively with.
(04:21):
because I had become acompetition between the three of
them.
I had seen how they were eachtrying to get more of my time
and pull me away from the othertwo.
I saw that happening.
But at the end of the day, therewas only one that really
(04:41):
deserved it, and it was the onethat, as far as I knew, wasn't
seeing anyone else.
So that's the one I decided todate exclusively.
But then the birth of Ethanhappened within a month after he
was born.
His mom got stationed atWright-Patterson Air Force Base
in Dayton, Ohio.
(05:03):
And I realized that when sheleft, I only had a year of
college left, but young,impatient, can't see the future,
don't have any guidance.
I thought, I can't wait a year.
to see my son he won't even knowwho I am in a year so I decided
(05:27):
I needed to transfer to WrightState in Dayton so I could be
close to my son which was coolas far as being close to Ethan
but let's be honest if I wasgoing to go back to Ohio and go
to school I wanted to go to OhioState But I couldn't do that
(05:48):
because that wasn't where Ethanlived and I would have never
seen him.
So what ended up happening was Icalled Ethan's mom.
I knew she held a candle for me.
I knew she was interested in me.
A lot of stuff happened while Iwas dating these other women
(06:10):
where she was still trying to beinvolved.
So I called her and I said, hey.
I want to move to Dayton to beby Ethan and be a father.
How do you feel about me stayingwith you?
I was a poor college student.
I had no money.
I didn't have a job.
And I knew that was the only wayI was going to get there.
(06:30):
And she at first was hesitant,but then she was like, what does
that mean?
Does it mean nothing?
We're going to be together.
What does that mean?
I don't want you coming here,living with me and bringing
girls back to my house.
And I was like, no, I won't dothat to you.
We could reconsider for the sakeof our son.
(06:50):
We can discuss all that when Iget there, but I promise you, I
won't be bringing him back toyour house.
And so she agreed.
I didn't even have the money topack up a U-Haul and drive the
stuff that I had.
So I had to call on the oneperson I could always call on,
my grandmother.
She gave me some money, enoughthat I could do that and make
(07:14):
that happen.
Thank you, mamaw.
I know you're in heaven now, butyou did so much for me.
There's no way I could everrepay you.
Moved to Dayton.
I moved in with Ethan's mom andwith Ethan.
And I was going to college.
(07:35):
and living with my ex again andbeing with my son.
Everything was cool.
Everything was amicable.
Outside of the way some thingswent down while she was pregnant
and giving birth, I had noreason to be upset or
disgruntled with her.
So we decided let's give this atry again.
We'll take it slow.
(07:56):
We're not just going to jumpback in and be remarried or
anything like that.
We'll just see how it goes.
A lot of things have happened.
But our son deserves thisopportunity for us to try.
I was going to college at WrightState, and this transfer cost me
(08:17):
a year of credits.
Had I stayed at Minot and wentto Minot State, I would have
been in my senior year andgraduated with a broadcasting
journalism degree.
When I transferred to WrightState, they didn't have an
identical program.
degree with identical courses.
They dropped some of my coursesand said, these don't count.
(08:41):
And that essentially put mewhere now I needed to go to
college for two more years tograduate.
I had to tack another year on tomy college education and I
wouldn't end up graduating witha broadcasting journalism
degree.
It would be a masscommunications degree, which is
what I ended up with.
(09:01):
For the love of my son, Ithought that was worth it.
It's not the exact degree Iwanted.
I have to go to school a yearlonger, more struggling, more
student loans, but he's worthit.
I'll do it.
So I'm on that path just a fewmonths, three, four months.
I don't remember the time, butit was fast.
(09:23):
My mother, sister, and maybe mygrandmother came down to visit
and meet Ethan for the firsttime.
Dayton was only about threehours away.
You know, my sister went outwith Ethan's mom that night,
Dana.
My sister was single, checkingout dudes.
Dana was caught up in the momentor what, but she was like, oh,
(09:44):
that dude right there, he'sreally cute.
And my sister went over to thatguy and goes, see that girl
right there?
She thinks you're really cute.
So that guy comes over andstarts talking to her and she's
receptive to it.
She lets him buy her a drink,dancing, hanging out together.
And then they get home late atnight.
(10:05):
The next day, my sister tells methis story.
She tells me all of it.
I'm pissed at my sister and Danaat the same time.
I'm pissed at my sister becauseshe was a part of that.
She helped set that up.
What was your motivation?
What are you thinking?
We're trying to do somethinghere for the sake of this little
boy.
And you're just throwing gas ona fire.
(10:28):
And then I got mad at Danabecause she accepted that gas
and ran with it.
And I felt betrayed by twopeople in one moment.
I asked her about it and she waslike, look, you already hurt me
once really bad.
I don't know if I can take thatkind of pain again.
(10:48):
It was like her defensemechanism.
But I just was like, yeah, thisjust isn't going to work.
So I had to find a place tolive.
Luckily, I found a guy whoneeded a roommate and I jumped
in.
It's college.
People come and go.
I just jumped in with this guy.
I didn't know.
His story was intriguing.
(11:09):
He had previously attended OhioState.
Full ride paid for by hisfather.
But he was too busy partying andfailed out.
He had to get a full-time jobworking nights at FedEx, loading
airplanes.
He decided he wanted to go backto school.
And his dad was like, sorry,buddy.
You had your chance.
(11:31):
You blew it.
If you want to go back toschool, you got to figure it
out.
So this guy was going to WrightState and working the night
shift at FedEx.
And then after work, going toschool during the day, And
trying to squeeze a few hours inafter school and before work to
(11:52):
do it all over again.
And so I just saw what he wasgoing through.
And it was also anothereye-opening experience for me.
I may not have loved my currentsituation, but at least I was
not surviving off four or fivehours of sleep a night and
trying to work and do school.
(12:13):
I was going to college.
Wright State, and everything wascool.
I met some cool people there.
Several guys at the gym werepart of the Phi Tau fraternity.
At this point, I had beenlifting weights.
I started lifting weights incollege at Minot State.
I was tired of being six footone and skinny, 175 pounds.
(12:38):
I decided I wanted to put onsome muscle, pack on some weight
and get strong.
I started lifting at the gym.
And I met some really cool dudesand we became friends.
They kept asking me to rush forthis fraternity.
I was older than everyone elsebecause I had done four years in
the Air Force before college.
And then I was like, there's noway I'm going to let people
(13:02):
younger than me haze me.
I'm not joining a fraternity.
But we were all friends.
So I just ended up hanging outwith them, doing everything they
did and going to the eventswithout fear.
being in the fraternity.
I was never officially a FITOL,but I lived their FITOL life,
went to all their events,parties, eventually became
(13:25):
really good friends with thepresident of FITOL.
His name was Jeff Ratliff.
And I ended up moving in withhim.
I was just living my life, goingto school after everything I had
gone through.
But at the end of the day, I'm a25 year old young man with all
(13:46):
the raging hormones that comewith that and i'm not blind
right just trying to play sportsand go to school and hang out
with my buddies but of courseyou're going to come across
women in college that you findattractive i dated one girl who
genuinely was so pretty when wewent out together Like at a
(14:09):
college party, dudes would comeup to me and just shake my hand
and be like, oh my God, how didyou get that girl?
She's so hot.
You're so lucky.
They would say stuff like that,right?
We were new in dating.
I didn't really know her thatwell.
I guess I was just one of thefew brave enough to let her know
(14:30):
that I was interested and shewas interested back.
So we started dating.
But it was so innocent.
We never kissed.
I may have had my arm around herand we held hands.
And that was as intimate as thatrelationship got, except for the
last night we were together.
I was at home in my apartmentand she was back in the dorms
(14:53):
where she lived.
One of her friends calls me andsays, Missy's here and she
really wants you to get overhere right now.
It was late, like midnight.
Her friend was like, she justneeds you to be here.
So I went and I get there.
This girl and I have even somuch as kissed.
(15:14):
And her friends are telling me Ineed to get there.
So I get there and find out shetook ecstasy.
For someone like me, who I'm 25,I've never drank.
I've never smoked.
I've never done any drugs.
And that's still true for metoday at 51.
I didn't want to be with anyonewho did those things either.
(15:36):
Okay, drinking alcoholoccasionally, that's acceptable.
People do that socially, totallyunderstand.
But I didn't want to be aroundan alcoholic, any type of drug
user, and I didn't want to bearound anyone that smoked
because smoking was disgustingto me.
And so she took that ecstasy andshe was trying to get me to have
(16:00):
sex with her, and I wouldn't doit.
I didn't want to take advantageof her.
I stayed with her for the night,made sure she was okay, and I
ended up falling asleep withher.
The next day, I got up, and thatwas it for me.
I never called her again.
She didn't call me.
I texted her and said, hey, thisisn't going to work out.
(16:22):
She just responded, Iunderstand, and that was it.
When I was Seeing people oncampus after that, they were
like, what happened to that girlyou were with?
And I was like, it didn't workout.
I broke up with her and theywould be like, oh my God, she
dumped you.
And then I would be like, no,that's not what happened.
She didn't dump me.
People would flat out just belike, I don't believe you.
(16:46):
There's no way you would dumpthat girl.
But it was true.
I did.
Just another example.
experience in life that ilearned about myself that no
matter what the circumstance ihave standards there's no
disrespect to her maybe she wasjust in an experimentation phase
(17:06):
in college i don't know how shewent on to live her life it just
wasn't for me at that time therewas another girl blonde really
pretty everyone called her hotheather We ended up working at a
tanning bed together and sheexpressed interest in me.
(17:28):
She expressed that she wanted tobe with me, but I knew she used
cocaine.
I heard it straight out of hermouth and I was just like, I
want no part of that.
I don't want to be with someoneusing cocaine.
So I also didn't date her.
While I was at the gym with myroommate, we became everyday
(17:50):
workout partners.
I had gotten much bigger andstronger.
I was taking protein shakes.
I was taking creatine.
I packed on 25, 30 pounds.
My chest grew really fast.
My back grew.
I already had strong legs andthey had gotten stronger.
(18:13):
I was a completely differentframe.
And there was this reallybeautiful redhead that would
come in and work out.
Now, she wasn't a naturalredhead.
It was clearly a dye job.
But it was a nice dye job.
She looked pretty.
And she was really fit.
She was in amazing shape.
(18:35):
And I kept seeing her there andtalking about her to my buddy
Jeff.
And then one day, he's like, I'mtired of hearing you talk about
it.
Go talk to her.
I felt called out andchallenged, but I was
intimidated by her.
So I was like, all right, youknow what?
I'm not going to let my roommatecall me a pussy.
(18:56):
So I'm going to do that.
I'm going to go ask her out whenI see her.
And the next day I went to thegym.
I saw her.
She was on a warmup bike, ridingit.
By herself, I was like, that'smy shot.
There's no one around her.
That's my shot.
(19:18):
I can do it.
I can ask her out.
So I approached her, and that'swhere this episode's going to
end.
I will tell you next time whathappened when I approached her.
Thank you for joining me, andI'll talk to you again in
Episode 9.
Welcome back to Brandon Held, Life is Crazy,
Episode 8.
I have gotten you through mostof my childhood, my time in the
Air Force, my first marriage,and the birth of my son, Ethan.
I didn't get divorced for abouttwo or three years after I got
(00:24):
out of the Air Force.
I wasn't into the relationshipmuch anymore, but...
I was a poor college student andhad a place to live, food,
access to the gym, and all theamenities that came with being
(00:44):
in the military I still receivedas a dependent spouse.
I could play intramural sportson base.
I still played basketball.
I still played volleyball.
It was just with the medicalgroup.
I won a base championship involleyball.
I won a base championship inflag football.
(01:06):
These were as a civilian andthey were good times.
I had a great time, made somegood friends.
I started at Midtown State in mybroadcasting and journalism
degree.
And I started off light with geneds in early communication
classes.
It was great because I I wasdoing all right.
(01:28):
I was doing pretty well.
I was generally getting B's andsome A's.
It was building my confidencethat I could do this college
thing because I was doing italmost full time.
At some point, though, I hadgotten a job to be a server at
Applebee's mostly on theweekends while I was going to
(01:51):
college and I was still married.
But eventually my marriage cameto an end.
And in that time, I was datingthe three women, as I discussed.
One was a college student.
I met her in college.
One was a girl I saw at the poolwhen I was swimming.
And then the third was thisblonde that was interested in
(02:15):
me.
This is significant because ithelped me cross a line that you
can't uncross And it changesyou.
I lost one of my best friends ina divorce because he had
interests in my wife that Iwasn't aware of.
(02:36):
I start seeing this girl that Ithink is cute and is interested
in me.
We get together and hook up.
After we've been together a fewtimes, she springs on me that
she is married and has a husbandin the Air Force.
Had I known that, I would nothave been given her at the time
(02:58):
of day.
I wasn't that kind of person andI would have never helped
someone have an affair.
I would have not been a part ofthat consciously.
At this point, I had been withher and knew I enjoyed her
company.
And then after she told me thatline has been crossed.
(03:19):
So what can I do?
I can't go backwards.
So I What's done is done.
I crossed the moral thresholdthat I thought I would not ever
cross, but here I am.
I was with two other girls atthe same time as her.
The girl I was in college with,as far as I know, she wasn't
seeing anyone else.
(03:40):
She was only seeing me.
But the girl I met from the poolwas also seeing someone else,
but she wasn't being open andhonest about that.
Eventually that came to a headbecause I confronted her You
know, she said, you can't sayanything to me.
You're seeing other girls.
You know, I said, at least I washonest with you.
(04:00):
You were hiding that from me.
And then the married girl, thathad to end too.
I could only go with it for solong.
So after seeing all three, Ijust ended up dating the one
girl I was going to collegewith.
And so she was the one I wasseeing exclusively with.
(04:21):
because I had become acompetition between the three of
them.
I had seen how they were eachtrying to get more of my time
and pull me away from the othertwo.
I saw that happening.
But at the end of the day, therewas only one that really
(04:41):
deserved it, and it was the onethat, as far as I knew, wasn't
seeing anyone else.
So that's the one I decided todate exclusively.
But then the birth of Ethanhappened within a month after he
was born.
His mom got stationed atWright-Patterson Air Force Base
in Dayton, Ohio.
(05:03):
And I realized that when sheleft, I only had a year of
college left, but young,impatient, can't see the future,
don't have any guidance.
I thought, I can't wait a year.
to see my son he won't even knowwho I am in a year so I decided
(05:27):
I needed to transfer to WrightState in Dayton so I could be
close to my son which was coolas far as being close to Ethan
but let's be honest if I wasgoing to go back to Ohio and go
to school I wanted to go to OhioState But I couldn't do that
(05:48):
because that wasn't where Ethanlived and I would have never
seen him.
So what ended up happening was Icalled Ethan's mom.
I knew she held a candle for me.
I knew she was interested in me.
A lot of stuff happened while Iwas dating these other women
(06:10):
where she was still trying to beinvolved.
So I called her and I said, hey.
I want to move to Dayton to beby Ethan and be a father.
How do you feel about me stayingwith you?
I was a poor college student.
I had no money.
I didn't have a job.
And I knew that was the only wayI was going to get there.
(06:30):
And she at first was hesitant,but then she was like, what does
that mean?
Does it mean nothing?
We're going to be together.
What does that mean?
I don't want you coming here,living with me and bringing
girls back to my house.
And I was like, no, I won't dothat to you.
We could reconsider for the sakeof our son.
(06:50):
We can discuss all that when Iget there, but I promise you, I
won't be bringing him back toyour house.
And so she agreed.
I didn't even have the money topack up a U-Haul and drive the
stuff that I had.
So I had to call on the oneperson I could always call on,
my grandmother.
She gave me some money, enoughthat I could do that and make
(07:14):
that happen.
Thank you, mamaw.
I know you're in heaven now, butyou did so much for me.
There's no way I could everrepay you.
Moved to Dayton.
I moved in with Ethan's mom andwith Ethan.
And I was going to college.
(07:35):
and living with my ex again andbeing with my son.
Everything was cool.
Everything was amicable.
Outside of the way some thingswent down while she was pregnant
and giving birth, I had noreason to be upset or
disgruntled with her.
So we decided let's give this atry again.
We'll take it slow.
(07:56):
We're not just going to jumpback in and be remarried or
anything like that.
We'll just see how it goes.
A lot of things have happened.
But our son deserves thisopportunity for us to try.
I was going to college at WrightState, and this transfer cost me
(08:17):
a year of credits.
Had I stayed at Minot and wentto Minot State, I would have
been in my senior year andgraduated with a broadcasting
journalism degree.
When I transferred to WrightState, they didn't have an
identical program.
degree with identical courses.
They dropped some of my coursesand said, these don't count.
(08:41):
And that essentially put mewhere now I needed to go to
college for two more years tograduate.
I had to tack another year on tomy college education and I
wouldn't end up graduating witha broadcasting journalism
degree.
It would be a masscommunications degree, which is
what I ended up with.
(09:01):
For the love of my son, Ithought that was worth it.
It's not the exact degree Iwanted.
I have to go to school a yearlonger, more struggling, more
student loans, but he's worthit.
I'll do it.
So I'm on that path just a fewmonths, three, four months.
I don't remember the time, butit was fast.
(09:23):
My mother, sister, and maybe mygrandmother came down to visit
and meet Ethan for the firsttime.
Dayton was only about threehours away.
You know, my sister went outwith Ethan's mom that night,
Dana.
My sister was single, checkingout dudes.
Dana was caught up in the momentor what, but she was like, oh,
(09:44):
that dude right there, he'sreally cute.
And my sister went over to thatguy and goes, see that girl
right there?
She thinks you're really cute.
So that guy comes over andstarts talking to her and she's
receptive to it.
She lets him buy her a drink,dancing, hanging out together.
And then they get home late atnight.
(10:05):
The next day, my sister tells methis story.
She tells me all of it.
I'm pissed at my sister and Danaat the same time.
I'm pissed at my sister becauseshe was a part of that.
She helped set that up.
What was your motivation?
What are you thinking?
We're trying to do somethinghere for the sake of this little
boy.
And you're just throwing gas ona fire.
(10:28):
And then I got mad at Danabecause she accepted that gas
and ran with it.
And I felt betrayed by twopeople in one moment.
I asked her about it and she waslike, look, you already hurt me
once really bad.
I don't know if I can take thatkind of pain again.
(10:48):
It was like her defensemechanism.
But I just was like, yeah, thisjust isn't going to work.
So I had to find a place tolive.
Luckily, I found a guy whoneeded a roommate and I jumped
in.
It's college.
People come and go.
I just jumped in with this guy.
I didn't know.
His story was intriguing.
(11:09):
He had previously attended OhioState.
Full ride paid for by hisfather.
But he was too busy partying andfailed out.
He had to get a full-time jobworking nights at FedEx, loading
airplanes.
He decided he wanted to go backto school.
And his dad was like, sorry,buddy.
You had your chance.
(11:31):
You blew it.
If you want to go back toschool, you got to figure it
out.
So this guy was going to WrightState and working the night
shift at FedEx.
And then after work, going toschool during the day, And
trying to squeeze a few hours inafter school and before work to
(11:52):
do it all over again.
And so I just saw what he wasgoing through.
And it was also anothereye-opening experience for me.
I may not have loved my currentsituation, but at least I was
not surviving off four or fivehours of sleep a night and
trying to work and do school.
(12:13):
I was going to college.
Wright State, and everything wascool.
I met some cool people there.
Several guys at the gym werepart of the Phi Tau fraternity.
At this point, I had beenlifting weights.
I started lifting weights incollege at Minot State.
I was tired of being six footone and skinny, 175 pounds.
(12:38):
I decided I wanted to put onsome muscle, pack on some weight
and get strong.
I started lifting at the gym.
And I met some really cool dudesand we became friends.
They kept asking me to rush forthis fraternity.
I was older than everyone elsebecause I had done four years in
the Air Force before college.
And then I was like, there's noway I'm going to let people
(13:02):
younger than me haze me.
I'm not joining a fraternity.
But we were all friends.
So I just ended up hanging outwith them, doing everything they
did and going to the eventswithout fear.
being in the fraternity.
I was never officially a FITOL,but I lived their FITOL life,
went to all their events,parties, eventually became
(13:25):
really good friends with thepresident of FITOL.
His name was Jeff Ratliff.
And I ended up moving in withhim.
I was just living my life, goingto school after everything I had
gone through.
But at the end of the day, I'm a25 year old young man with all
(13:46):
the raging hormones that comewith that and i'm not blind
right just trying to play sportsand go to school and hang out
with my buddies but of courseyou're going to come across
women in college that you findattractive i dated one girl who
genuinely was so pretty when wewent out together Like at a
(14:09):
college party, dudes would comeup to me and just shake my hand
and be like, oh my God, how didyou get that girl?
She's so hot.
You're so lucky.
They would say stuff like that,right?
We were new in dating.
I didn't really know her thatwell.
I guess I was just one of thefew brave enough to let her know
(14:30):
that I was interested and shewas interested back.
So we started dating.
But it was so innocent.
We never kissed.
I may have had my arm around herand we held hands.
And that was as intimate as thatrelationship got, except for the
last night we were together.
I was at home in my apartmentand she was back in the dorms
(14:53):
where she lived.
One of her friends calls me andsays, Missy's here and she
really wants you to get overhere right now.
It was late, like midnight.
Her friend was like, she justneeds you to be here.
So I went and I get there.
This girl and I have even somuch as kissed.
(15:14):
And her friends are telling me Ineed to get there.
So I get there and find out shetook ecstasy.
For someone like me, who I'm 25,I've never drank.
I've never smoked.
I've never done any drugs.
And that's still true for metoday at 51.
I didn't want to be with anyonewho did those things either.
(15:36):
Okay, drinking alcoholoccasionally, that's acceptable.
People do that socially, totallyunderstand.
But I didn't want to be aroundan alcoholic, any type of drug
user, and I didn't want to bearound anyone that smoked
because smoking was disgustingto me.
And so she took that ecstasy andshe was trying to get me to have
(16:00):
sex with her, and I wouldn't doit.
I didn't want to take advantageof her.
I stayed with her for the night,made sure she was okay, and I
ended up falling asleep withher.
The next day, I got up, and thatwas it for me.
I never called her again.
She didn't call me.
I texted her and said, hey, thisisn't going to work out.
(16:22):
She just responded, Iunderstand, and that was it.
When I was Seeing people oncampus after that, they were
like, what happened to that girlyou were with?
And I was like, it didn't workout.
I broke up with her and theywould be like, oh my God, she
dumped you.
And then I would be like, no,that's not what happened.
She didn't dump me.
People would flat out just belike, I don't believe you.
(16:46):
There's no way you would dumpthat girl.
But it was true.
I did.
Just another example.
experience in life that ilearned about myself that no
matter what the circumstance ihave standards there's no
disrespect to her maybe she wasjust in an experimentation phase
(17:06):
in college i don't know how shewent on to live her life it just
wasn't for me at that time therewas another girl blonde really
pretty everyone called her hotheather We ended up working at a
tanning bed together and sheexpressed interest in me.
(17:28):
She expressed that she wanted tobe with me, but I knew she used
cocaine.
I heard it straight out of hermouth and I was just like, I
want no part of that.
I don't want to be with someoneusing cocaine.
So I also didn't date her.
While I was at the gym with myroommate, we became everyday
(17:50):
workout partners.
I had gotten much bigger andstronger.
I was taking protein shakes.
I was taking creatine.
I packed on 25, 30 pounds.
My chest grew really fast.
My back grew.
I already had strong legs andthey had gotten stronger.
(18:13):
I was a completely differentframe.
And there was this reallybeautiful redhead that would
come in and work out.
Now, she wasn't a naturalredhead.
It was clearly a dye job.
But it was a nice dye job.
She looked pretty.
And she was really fit.
She was in amazing shape.
(18:35):
And I kept seeing her there andtalking about her to my buddy
Jeff.
And then one day, he's like, I'mtired of hearing you talk about
it.
Go talk to her.
I felt called out andchallenged, but I was
intimidated by her.
So I was like, all right, youknow what?
I'm not going to let my roommatecall me a pussy.
(18:56):
So I'm going to do that.
I'm going to go ask her out whenI see her.
And the next day I went to thegym.
I saw her.
She was on a warmup bike, ridingit.
By herself, I was like, that'smy shot.
There's no one around her.
That's my shot.
(19:18):
I can do it.
I can ask her out.
So I approached her, and that'swhere this episode's going to
end.
I will tell you next time whathappened when I approached her.
Thank you for joining me, andI'll talk to you again in
Episode 9.
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