Season 1 Episode 13 - Jordan Kline! - Breakfast of Champions

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
John Belushi is on his way to a gold medal in the big heathland. They're setting the bar at seven feet.

(00:06):
Here's his approach.
And he's got it!
Belushi's won the gold. Now he's going for the world's record.
He's making his move. They're in the final turn. He's kicking it in.
He's got it!
A spectacular time. A new world's record. Unbelievable.

(00:27):
What a day for John Belushi!
I logged a lot of miles training for that day, and I've downed a lot of donuts.
Little chocolate donuts.
They taste good, and they've got the sugar I need to get me going in the morning.
That's why little chocolate donuts have been on my training table since I was a kid.
Little chocolate donuts. The donuts of champions.

(01:00):
You're in big trouble, though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
No.

(01:36):
Welcome to Breakfast of Champions, season one, episode 13.
I'm super excited to be joining you with my closest of close friends.
You know the co-host, obviously.
Don't forget the third co-host.

(01:57):
Yeah, we'll get there. First me, then you, because you're two, then three, and then four.
I'm four.
The Hulkster's four.
You said it last episode. You said he was the fourth unofficial. You were just so sleep deprived.
I don't remember saying anything on the last episode.
You're going to let a Trump-er be the fourth co-host.

(02:19):
You declared him the fourth co-host.
I'm sorry. I was going on like two hours of sleep. With light of recent events, the Hulkster is out as the fourth.
The Hulkster's gone.
But Kevin is still number three.
I'm Rene Floyd.
I'm Parker Howard.
That's Kevin O'Malley.
This is our friend Jordan Klein.

(02:41):
He is the lead singer of our older band, Unspell.
You hear his voice at the beginning of our podcast.
It sounds a little different than it does now.
Obviously, we've been wanting to have Jordan on since we first started.
We started kicking around this idea.
We're going to have our friends on.
We're going to have all of our past bandmates on.

(03:02):
And our family on.
Now we're starting to get into that point.
Now you've got frozen Scrapple.
I can't wait for that coming up.
We met Jordan probably about, I don't know, how long have you known Jordan?
I know how long I've known Jordan.
It's been about 12 or 13 years ago when Evoca opened.
It was probably when I met you.
I know I saw you around.

(03:23):
Then your wife worked at Evoca.
Yeah.
Do you remember that Christmas party?
Vaguely.
Can we start telling stories?
Yeah, we're here.
There was a Christmas party and everyone did a gift exchange.
We did the Secret Santa gift exchange.
And this one girl that worked there forgot basically.
I think she married your friend John.

(03:44):
Yeah, I don't want to talk about her.
I think somebody forgot this girl's gift and then they gave her accidentally.
No.
Here's the thing.
You know this story peripherally.
I know this story firsthand.
We were all there.
I know, but I drew her.
Okay.
That's the thing is that because I would work so sporadically at that time for Evoca

(04:08):
is that I was one of the few that didn't get a chance to draw yet.
They kept on saying, oh, just draw when we get there.
Just draw when we get there and bring a gift.
Just bring like a-
I mean, that's a white elephant vibe.
This isn't white elephant.
Bringing universal gift.
In my head, I'm like, everybody loves booze.
Exactly.
Like a nice bottle of booze and like a gift card or some shit, something really silly.

(04:30):
And then whenever I got there, they're like, here's the name you got.
And I'm like, oh, cool.
This person does a drink.
Yeah.
So then everybody else was getting these like super personal gifts, like super fucking personal.
And then her gift comes up and it's a bottle of wine and she like runs out crying.
And I think your wife chased after her maybe.
No, I don't think Heather worked there when Braylon worked there.

(04:51):
I thought y'all were there.
I thought y'all would-
We went to the one-
Were they not there?
No, I think this was just a little bit more OG at the actual location.
I remember Heather, I remember seeing you guys at the-
RaR.
Yeah, RaR.
We were at the RaR Christmas party.
That didn't happen at RaR.
Oh, okay.
That happened at Avoka proper.
So it must have been the year before that.
I remember hearing about that story, but I-
It was wild, dude.

(05:12):
It was like, uh, what?
That happened-
Don't cry over spilled wine, I guess.
My first year at Spiral, that happened where somebody, because we did Secret Santa every
Christmas, and the rule was you got a $20 gift, and then you also made something.
It could be like bake them cookies, make them a painting.
But my first Christmas there, I got a really cool, I got this really awesome painting,

(05:33):
and I got something else.
I don't remember now what it was, but one of the girls there, she, her person did not
show up to the gift exchange that pulled her name, and she did not get it, also ran out
crying.
Oh my God, people.
Geez.
I don't know what the moral of this story is.

(05:54):
I don't know.
Don't take everything personally.
There's better gift exchange.
If you guys are wondering, and you want to get in on a gift exchange, the three of us
have been in a gift exchange every Christmas of vinyl.
No, I have not.
Oh, you haven't?
We've done a vinyl gift exchange.
I've been excluded from this.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
It's okay.
You sold all your records anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter.
Yeah, but I'm slowly buying more records.
That's what happens.
You sell your shit and you buy it back.

(06:15):
Speaking of, fucking all my DVDs and VHS and all that shit I used to have, it's all fucking
gone.
And I have to buy all the same shit.
Like, oh, I remember when I bought this for the first time.
Oh, yeah, wait, because all the shit that we like is like the rare stuff.
I had, man, a thousand VHS tapes.
I've now got about 200.
You had a thousand?
I had a thousand.

(06:35):
Shut up.
Where did they live?
I had a closet, and literally the closet just from floor to wall, floor to ceiling, just
VHS tapes.
And you had them like this way or you had them like...
I had them straight in so you could see the top, and I had them stacked too deep.
So it was, yeah.
Oh, shit.
And the closet was like the size of one of these racks.

(06:57):
Damn.
And then your wife was like, I need to put my clothes somewhere.
This was before I got a wife.
This is pre-wife.
You can't have a thousand VHS tapes and also have a wife.
Those two things are...
No.
This was...
This was mutually exclusive right there.
It's singlehood and VHS collecting go hand in hand.
I had like 600 records, a thousand VHS tapes, and about 900 DVDs.

(07:18):
Fucking living the life.
So what about records now?
Not that many.
Records I've got probably like between...
Heather and I's collection combined is probably between like 350 and 450.
Okay.
Because I probably still got like about 800 now or something.
Yeah.
I haven't counted them in years.
I have that whole...
You know the IKEA shelf?
Yeah.
It's all filled up.
We only have one shelf.
One cube.

(07:38):
Oh, one cube now?
I had the whole row and now down to one cube.
I think we've got like six cubes worth of records.
But you still got all your DVDs.
Yeah.
I have all my DVDs.
All of my DVDs are in a DVD binder now.
I have two DVD binders and all the cases are up in the attic in a...
Exactly.
Like, yeah.
I'm going to need to borrow John Wick 1 from one of y'all because I still haven't seen that
fucking movie.

(07:59):
It's on...
Okay.
So this is something I wanted to get into anyways, but do you use Tubi or Pluto?
Absolutely.
It's fucking free.
I love Tubi.
There's so much weird stuff that you can go down a rabbit hole on.
But last night I was on Pluto and they have John Wick 1, 2, and 3.
Oh tight.
Because I have two on Blu-ray.
I guess I picked it up somewhere cheap and have just been hanging onto it.

(08:19):
It's on Pluto for free.
Okay, cool.
I think the last thing I watched on Pluto, I found that it was on there and it's like
the only place that exists right now is...
You remember that TV show Comic Book Men?
Yeah.
It was like a reality show about Jay and Silent Bob's comic book store.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's all about is like on Pluto because they never released it on DVD.

(08:41):
And I mean, unless...
Does AMC have a streaming thing?
Maybe they do.
It's probably not fucking on there.
Yeah.
I'm sure they do because they have like Mad Men and all the rest of them.
They do have...
It's like AMC Plus because they also have...
I'm not paying for that shit.
Because they do Shudder.
They're the ones behind Shudder.
Oh, okay.
And Shudder is like all scary stuff.
It's all horror.
But...
It's all about blinds and windows.

(09:05):
Yeah, exactly.
No, and Shudder.
Like, ugh.
Shudder.
Uh, Tooby has some wild shit on there.
Yeah, Tooby does.
I watched...
What did I watch on there?
Something weird, for sure.
They've got Martyrs on there.
The original French Martyrs is on that.
I don't know that one.
If you're looking at like extreme movie lists, I don't think it's that extreme, but also...

(09:26):
Yeah.
I mean, I'm kind of a lightweight because I feel like I'm going watching any new horror,
any new scary stuff.
I'm just like, what the fuck is happening right now?
So there was a...
But Shopping Mall that we talked about, I watched the other day, which is on Amazon Prime.
Fucking brilliant.
Have you seen it?
No.
It's about these like robots that run this mall and then like people get locked in the

(09:48):
mall and they're trying to get away from them.
But the crazy thing is like, why don't you just jump fucking on top of that?
And then the robot is only just going to be like, eh, eh, eh.
Makes too much sense.
Yeah, like all it can do is like...
I think you wouldn't have a movie or a TV show you'd have.
Yeah, it's just wild.
They're like, we can't get away.
But like you could definitely fucking get away, just jump in the water or something.
Obviously those little light bullets that shoots doesn't do anything because everybody

(10:12):
gets hit like 10 times.
It's a great movie though.
Check it out.
It will do.
But Martyrs, if you're looking for a rough time, when you look at like extreme horror
movie lists, one is usually a Serbian film.
Martyrs is usually two.
Sometimes Martyrs is one.
It is free on Tubi to watch.
It is part of the new wave of French extremity, which was like...

(10:33):
New wave of French, I've heard of that.
Or early 2000s, late 90s, early 2000s.
Wait, was High Tension one of those movies?
High Tension is...
Yeah, okay.
I've seen High Tension.
There's Inside, which is pretty wild, irreversible.
Oh yeah, I've heard...
Oh wait, is that where the hammer scene?
Seen that.
I used to have that on DVD too.
Have you seen it?
That was one of the first movies I've ever turned off.

(10:53):
Dude.
There's a really long scene that I just...
It was too much.
Dude, it's wild.
Yeah, I used to have that because I guess along with the physical media collecting and
stuff, you always work in a place that helps you get into that avenue.
Well, I worked at Half Price Books for a while.
So I would be the one like, oh, you're about to put all those DVDs out?
Hold on, let me...

(11:13):
Okay, I need that, I need that, and I need that.
I did the same thing at Virgin Megastore.
Yeah, nothing good goes on the shelf because all the people there buy it for half the half
price because you get a discount.
Or you just put it in your backpack and say, I'm checking it out.
And then you never fucking come back.
Remember that?
Yeah.
That's what we did back then.
Then they started keeping the DVDs behind the counter.
Two things.

(11:34):
One, if you're unfamiliar with Jordan's podcast, Rewind Remind.
Rewind Rewind.
I don't know why I fucking named it that.
No, that's cool.
I love that name.
He has a podcast that comes out weekly.
He drops on Friday mornings and it's all about this exact thing that we're talking about
right now.
So if you're loving the current conversation and you'd love to hear more of that, please

(11:56):
tune into his podcast.
Renee is on the second episode.
So you start there if you want.
Yep.
He's a second show on my network.
Change in the world, one podcast at a time.
The reason, and let me say this real quick.
The reason I started that podcast was because of you guys.
You guys started doing your thing and I was like, you know what?

(12:18):
I want that.
I want to do that too.
I want to be part of this next wave of creating, but also in a sense, especially with things
that I've done, I feel like I'm an audiophile of everything I've done.
So I want to be able to capture this time and my thoughts on certain things like this

(12:42):
and have it saved so that if I want to, I can go back and look at it again.
For sure.
But thank you guys so much for inspiring me to hop on the podcast, PN Wagon.
And so check his podcast out, like, share, subscribe on his stuff too.
The second thing I was going to say, you talked about that, we have from our last episode.
If you listen today, we just dropped this morning.

(13:05):
Today is Thursday.
I always like to give the date when we're recording so people can kind of give.
Today's Thursday, August 8th.
We just dropped this morning at 6 a.m.
So if you listen to our podcast in its entirety, because you are a super fan, you will have
heard the Gene call at the end.
That dude is wild.
I'm scared of Gene now that he's out.

(13:25):
If you've gotten to...
He's like a scary history teacher.
He's like, sit down and I'm going to tell you something.
The voicemail was very lengthy.
Gene had a lot to say.
He had a lot to say specifically about the assassination attempt.
Honestly, when he mentioned Lincoln, I was like, okay, I think I'm done with this episode.
I don't know where this is going, but good job, Gene.

(13:48):
Good job, guys.
Also, as our editor was listening back to last episode, speaking of working at media
places, Phil was saying that the compilation that you brought up, the brutality compilation,
that just immediately flashed back for him to whenever he was working those days in those
secondhand retail records.
Oh, that's awesome.

(14:08):
So you used to think CD Warehouse is where you used to work.
And they used to get that in or something.
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
So yeah, a lot of good times working at secondhand shops.
Since we're talking about the last episode, I went and I listened to your Power Violence
playlist.
Yeah.
It's really cool.
Thank you.
Okay.
So here's my thing.

(14:29):
I was totally mixed up this whole time and I thought that Power Violence was Grindcore.
Where does that line, like where, Grindcore is like the new version of Power Violence,
right?
No, Grindcore was around before Power Violence was a thing.
Well, I mean, I'm thinking of Grindcore bands from like the early 2000s, like Daughters,

(14:49):
Album, Cane, and The Songs.
Yeah, yeah.
So that-
With like blast beats and stuff.
Is blast beats not a Power Violence thing?
It is.
It is.
Power Violence is more like-
Formulic with the slow fast, slow fast.
Yeah, slow fast and they also throw in like weird, like harsh noise parts sometimes.
Okay.
But it has more of a DIY punk mentality to it.
Right.
Where like, I guess the Grindcore is probably like more polished and like they're looking

(15:11):
at it in Pro Tools and lining it up.
And you know, even Grindcore, that gets weird because you have like your Pig Destroyers
and your Nasoms and like there's all kinds of like the whole spectrum of-
But then you have like the indie kind of bands or like the more like Fancy Boy bands, I guess
like Daughters and stuff.
Yeah, there's that.
I don't even know what to categorize them as.
But then you have like Early Napalm Death and you've got like the crustier side of Grind

(15:35):
too where it's more like Crustpunks playing it and-
Okay, see I don't like any of that stuff really.
Yeah, so it's like Grindcore is a weird spectrum and it's easy to confuse with Power Violence.
Right, I think I was just like, I was like blast beats, right?
That's-
Yeah.
But then it's like it's, blast beats isn't just its own sort of thing.
And generally Power Violences are not using like a double kick.

(15:56):
Like it's usually-
Oh, okay.
Okay, right, right.
So it's like Grindcore, they are.
Sometimes and sometimes not.
Like again, depends on the band, but-
Yeah, definitely on Candice's songs.
That thing sounds like a fucking helicopter.
Yeah.
Which it's funny and you were talking about short songs.
I put it on as soon as I picked up some stuff from Old Boy and then before I got here it
was over.
I'm like, oh, should I get to choose another record or whatever?

(16:16):
And then, you know, all the songs are dumb short.
What was the band that was in?
Scott Pilgrim versus the World, like Jesse and the Boys or whatever?
And their songs like two seconds long.
And then he's like, this song is called I'm So Sad, so very, very, very, very sad.
And then the song is like, thank you.

(16:37):
I don't remember the name of it, but there's a Napalm Death song that is like three seconds
long and I've seen so many bands cover that song because-
The easiest song to cover.
And it's literally just like a done.
And it's just like one scream.
Thank you.
Well, what was the punk song that we covered that was super easy?
Oh, Black Flag, Wasted.
Yeah, that was 60 seconds of fun times.

(17:02):
Yeah.
But I mean, you know, that's what you do.
You just pick an easy song and cover it or whatever.
And I mean, if you guys haven't gone back and listened to our band, Unspell, by now,
you definitely should because it will give you an insight into-
There's some lore.
Yeah, it'll give you an insight into, you know, kind of like us and whatnot.
And if you want to hear some deep cuts that never got released that like you play on,

(17:22):
hit us up and we've got them.
Shit, I've got like a whole- remember that punk song that you wrote that I did vocals
on?
That wasn't me.
That was Etter.
Oh, that was Etter?
Yeah, that wasn't my song.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, well, Etter.
So we wanted to kind of do things a little bit different with you.
We're not going to have anything to like really like rate or review because we are coming
to you tonight from like, it's like eight o'clock at night now.

(17:45):
So we wanted to-
I'm actually well rested for once.
I know.
Look at this.
That's great.
It might make you, you know, have to use some after or whatever.
Yeah.
So we're not going to have anything to like have breakfast food wise as far as like you
guys backs killing you on that bench.
No, it's all right.
I'm just-
I know if I'm hunching in the video, my wife's going to be like, why are you hunching over

(18:08):
in the video?
Because I'm lazy.
Straighten out our man boobs.
So we wanted to do a little Brenner talk.
Are you a fan of the Brenner?
I know Brenner.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've been a fan of Brenner at my house from time to time.
I think it's one of those things where like you don't think about it until it's like either,
it's either, okay, my theory on Brenner is, it's very fully planned out or it's very last

(18:32):
minute thrown together.
Almost always last minute thrown together, but it's always a crowd pleaser.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I remember growing up and having that, but I think with my kids, we haven't really done
it before.
Yeah.
Or, you know, me and my wife have done like BLTs or something, which is-
It's got bacon.
Yeah.
But-
It's half breakfast.
Yeah.
I mean, I remember growing up having Brenner for sure.
Yeah.

(18:52):
We like to do breakfast sandwiches for Brenner whenever we do like planned out Brenner.
Because then it's like, okay, I'll get blueberry bagels instead of just regular bagels or whatever.
I want blueberry bagels.
And then I want to really, give me cheddar cheese.
I want cheddar cheese.
You know, you get to like pick out all the individual ingredients of sandwiches.

(19:12):
Let me ask you this.
When your kids do a breakfast sandwich, do they do their eggs like fried or do they do
them scrambled?
So the two olders will kind of switch it up depending on what TikTok says, I guess.
I just started switching it up.
I was for the longest time and my wife would probably kill me, you know, like the fried
egg, which is like the way to have it.

(19:32):
She would never have it another way.
But I started making like a little scrambled egg square, chopping it and then eating the
leftover sides and then putting it on there.
And I think that's, it's pretty good.
Yeah.
It's fun.
It's nice to mix it up.
Faye's never going to not be a hard fried type of situation for her or scrambled.
She sometimes does a scramble, but even the past couple of times I made her scrambled,

(19:53):
she's just like, nah.
Do they let you put salt and pepper?
Do they let you put pepper in it?
She makes me do it.
Okay.
Yeah.
Cause if I put pepper in it, my kids will freak the fuck out.
She's like, there's not enough.
I can't see it.
I can't see the pepper.
I have the whitest kids ever.
They like, they're like, they're like, what is all this black stuff in there?
I'm like, that makes it taste good.
You burned it.
Yeah.
I'm like, that's what makes it taste like good.

(20:13):
Ava is also like anti-pepper.
She likes spicy stuff, but she doesn't like pepper in her eggs.
Wow.
I couldn't even eat an egg without pepper in it.
So we do the crazy Jane's mixed up salt.
That's the one that she likes in her eggs.
Okay.
I don't know if you guys know that one.
I don't.
Oh, okay.
So, uh, this might be another, like my tip.
This might be another, my East coast family has adopted me and shown me the way like wah,

(20:38):
wah and the Eagles and all, all, all good things East coast.
But if you go into the, like just the, you know, the con or not the conmen, but the seasonings,
I'll look for crazy Jane's mixed up salt and it's got like every sort of thing.
It's like a seasoning, a seasonal type of salt, but it's like, it's so good on like eggs.
Really good.
It makes a nice savory umami flavor with the eggs.

(20:59):
And we do, uh, we also do popcorn with it.
Whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Crazy.
I like, I like also whenever you're doing mashed potatoes, crazy James mixed up salt.
It's a way to go.
It's just got a little bit of everything in it.
Um, yeah.
So, uh, so are we going to do lightning round now?
Not yet.
We're just talking Brenner.
Yeah.
All right.
We're better.

(21:20):
So, okay.
My Brenner that I remember growing up, my parents were like, I don't know, they didn't make
very good breakfast, I guess, besides scrambled eggs.
And we would have frozen pancakes.
Do you remember those?
Oh yeah.
So we would have like some frozen pancakes, definitely scrambled eggs, bacon fried up
in the pan, not cooked in the microwave or I cook mine in the oven.

(21:41):
I cook mine in the oven.
Yeah.
This is what you do.
I'll give you guys a pro tip real quick.
Foil lay it out, put it in the oven, cold oven 400 and then just kind of watch it, flip
it and let it do its thing.
Interesting.
Cause if you put it in there hot, it's going to start like burning the sides and it's not
going to cook like evenly.
You're going to have like fatty pieces that aren't cooked.
You gotta let it kind of, you know, yeah, let it get good.

(22:05):
Get it real good.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I just looked up crazy James, just to give you a specifics on it.
Uh, the tantalizing mix contains salt obviously and lots of it, but it also contains dehydrated
onion and garlic as well.
Um, but here's where things get quote unquote crazy.
The only other item on the ingredient list is a mysteriously non specified quote herbs

(22:26):
and spices.
So they've got some, you know, obviously time, rosemary, rosemary, black pepper, fennel,
maybe a sage, maybe, uh, so there's, it has kind of a little fun guessing game.
They can have is like, what's actually in the, they don't put MSG in there though.
I hope they do.
Cause MSG fucking rules and people need to get over it.
Okay.

(22:47):
Well, I guess I need to get on the MSG train.
One ticket to MSG town, please.
I think that just like, uh, much like a lot of things like sugar salt, like you have the
big sugar, big salt, big, big MSG, you know, I mean, there's so many Asian countries that
use MSG every single day and, and a very, those people live longer than we do.

(23:07):
Yeah.
It's like, and they also call it flavor.
Yeah.
Flavor.
Yeah.
So, I mean, basically all it does, right.
It's just make sure it tastes better.
Taste buds so that they open up a little more.
It's like brain.
It's fucking science.
Brain salt.
Get over it.
Yeah.
Um, so, uh, now that you're a father, now that you guys are fathers, is your Brenner
different now than when you were kids or do you guys still hold Brenner in the same kind

(23:31):
of regard as when you were a kid, just like exciting, get a chance to hang out with a
fam, get a chance to.
I think it's so crazy that like even in our day to day lives, like you can pull into a
drive through at McDonald's at, uh, 1029 and it's like full on in your brain salivating
for McGriddles and pancakes and coffee and orange juice, but you pull in that bitch at

(23:54):
1035 and all of a sudden your switch button.
No, I'm sorry, sir.
Breakfast.
Not only that, but like even your mindset, like it's like, yeah, now it's starting to
be like burgers and fries and Coke and stuff like that.
What is it about like simple, like how smart our brain is, but how dumb our brain is when
we can be like, watch this brain, we're gonna have a little breakfast at night and our brains

(24:14):
are like, this is fucking awesome.
It's the same ingredients from eight o'clock in the morning till eight o'clock at night.
But our brains are like, this is the best thing ever.
It's like vacation in the middle of the week.
Yeah.
You definitely tear it up.
I mean, you're like fat stack.
I feel that same way about like whenever you're like, if you're a little hung over and you're

(24:34):
like, I'll get a little pizza for breakfast.
Oh, dude.
A little pizza for breakfast.
And your brain is just like, your brain is just like, I'm not supposed to be having this.
You know what I mean?
It's cold.
Yeah, I don't even warm it up.
Or I left it in the box on the counter all night.
Chinese food or anything that you're just not quote unquote supposed to be eating at
the time that you're supposed to be eating it.

(24:55):
Cold Chinese food for breakfast.
Forget about it.
Cold queso.
Cold spaghetti.
Yeah, I heard this spaghetti.
Cold spaghetti.
You guys ever had spaghetti?
Oh, spaghetti sandwich.
Oh, shit, dude.
Fucking love this spaghetti sandwich.
A little thick piece of wheat bread with some butter or margarine.
It's got to be wheat.
Yeah, it's got to be wheat.
You got to have a structural bread.
Maybe a little onion powder, garlic powder.
Garlic powder.
Yeah, that's what you get over it.

(25:16):
White people, garlic bread or whatever.
Dude, if I have spaghetti, I'm like, I have to have that with it.
And when I was a kid, what's crazy is I craved stuff like that when I was a kid, but we were
Mexican so I'd be more like beans and raisin tortillas and stuff like that.
I'm like, no, I want white bread pizza.
My mom wouldn't let us have white bread.

(25:37):
We only had wheat.
Yeah, no shame.
And the only time we got white was at grandma's house.
Grandma gave me the spoils.
Yeah.
But she would make this wild ass fucking peanut butter toast, right?
Like, hey, grandma wants some peanut butter toast.
And she'd be like, OK.
And she'd like, I don't know how she did it.
It must have been the white bread, but it was like the fucking best peanut butter toast
I've ever had in my life.
I tagged you today in that Facebook post.
Mentioned.

(25:57):
And peanut butter toast, this is what I had for breakfast this morning.
There you go.
I'm going to ask you a question of the lightning run.
So do you guys have an occasion?
Do you guys just like so sometimes I think about this and this is the other thing I think
about whenever like I saw this meme the other day of like it was Vince Staples was acting

(26:19):
his mom like how much she made so that way he could like figure out how to like how much
he needed to make to take care of her, like to retire her or whatever.
But like just the whole like finding out like you were not well off whenever you're an adult,
but you didn't know it whenever you're younger, really, or whatever.
So now it's kind of one of those things where like we kind of like we're kind of low on

(26:40):
funds.
It becomes breakfast at dinnertime.
But also the meme slash thing that I saw was the CEO for General Mills or Post is on freaking
lately news on CNN or something convincing everybody that cereal is a breakfast food
now because of the way that the state of the economy is and then our current crazy cereal

(27:03):
was always a breakfast food.
Well according to Jerry Seinfeld, yes, but I mean, I when I get home from work at like
two or three a.m.
So I'm a toast crunch crush in bed like a shower, eat that in bed, set it on my desk,
watch something weird on Tubi while I'm eating the cereal.
This week I had a funny request and I'm almost I'm always like on the verge of texting both

(27:26):
of you at any given point in time during my day.
But so I'm out and about and I get that text, you know, you're out and you're already getting
something you get the secondary text for the second thing that you need to get while you're
already out.
So I got that like the kids want cereal and I'm like, okay, which cereal one wanted fruit
loops and the other one wanted fruity pebbles and there was no compromise.
Oh, Lord.

(27:47):
So I had to buy two boxes of the fruitiest cereal in the world.
One looped and one pebble.
Yeah.
God, kids are the worst.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They know what they want.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Shout out my son Hank.
It's his birthday today.
Happy birthday, Hank.
Yeah.
All right.
So Brenner, you either loved or hate it.

(28:07):
Tell us about your memories of Brenner growing up.
Tell us about your favorite things to eat.
Brenner wise.
What are you cooking for your family for Brenner?
Give us your favorite Brenner sandwich, 682-294-0101.
Breakfast of champs pod at gmail.com.
Hit us up on the socials.
We got a link tree now.
We big boys.

(28:27):
Oh, cool.
I have a funny Brenner story that I just remember.
Brenner, Brenner.
I was probably like eight or 10.
My mom made Brenner.
It was like scrambled eggs, hash browns, and she made sausage links, but she kind of burned
them.
I like burnt sausage though.
They looked like dog turds.
Oh, shit.
I remember those lumpy old fucking sausage links.
So my dad and I did not eat them.

(28:50):
So my mom gave them to the dog and the dog wouldn't eat them because it looked like.
Yeah.
That dog was like, I just shit this out.
What do you want me to do with the shit?
My dog would love that shit logs.
My dog eats turds all the time.
So does one of my dogs.
His favorite thing to do is to troll the cat, the cat box.
He's just like, oh, did you poop in there?

(29:12):
Yes.
My dog trolls my kids and eats their food.
Oh yeah.
Oh, food dog.
One of my dogs.
He is a, he loves the duck shit.
Oh yeah.
We've got two ducks and four chickens.
Oh yeah.
How are the ducks?
I mean, how, show me how big with your hand they are.
They're like full size.
The ducks are full size.
The chickens are all.
They were babies though.

(29:32):
We bought them as babies.
They are full sized ducks.
Now I have two full sized ducks and all I hear cause they're.
Do they shit in the pool?
No, they don't get in the pool.
Oh yeah.
Fuck the pool.
I'm not really know they've got like a Heather's, we've got a pond in the back that Heather's
like kind of redone.
It's like a little.
Oh, so they get in that.
Yeah.
And there's like other spots.
They really like the sprinklers and stuff, but they don't really mess with the pool.

(29:53):
I think they can smell the chemicals and stuff, but, but no, all I hear outside the
one is just wank, wank, wank, wank, wank, wank.
And then when they come out, they like flap their wings and they get, do they get excited
to see y'all?
They get so excited, especially like, oh really?
Like chickens.
Yeah.
They love.
I also raise like any of my veggie scraps that I have at the end of the day, I take home
and feed to them.

(30:14):
So now they know the bag coming from raise that when Heather walks out there with that
sack, they know that it's a bunch of veggie scraps.
Cool.
But, but yeah, food dog will just find the duck shit and just lick it off wherever it
is.
It's so gross.
Yeah.
I love that dog.
So you didn't think we'd be talking about duck shit on this episode.
I mean, you never know with us.
Yeah.
We could be talking about a little bit of everything.

(30:36):
So you want to pull the lightning round, you got your lightning round question.
You want to go first?
Okay.
I've been thinking about these for two months guys.
So we already answered the first one, which is what did you have for breakfast?
Yeah.
Okay.
So I had a Dave's killer wheat bread with some Jeff peanut butter.
Only Jeff Jeff Jeff for nothing.
Yeah.
I've met Dave after he got out of prison.

(30:58):
And then I sprinkled, we have this thing called trilogy.
It is a flax seed, chia seed, and another kind of seed.
It's like in this thing and I kind of like shook that on top to try to get, you know,
some stuff or whatever.
My phone's pretty good.
Yeah.
And my kids had their favorite is sausage biscuits.
You know, like the frozen ones.

(31:18):
They fucking love that shit.
What is your typical day to day breakfast routine?
Nothing.
Lots of coffee.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have a big bowl if I have it of greens.
Yeah.
The all natural herbal greens and then regular.
Yeah.

(31:38):
Oh God.
No, before I even, I get out there and I get so excited and I start to touch it and I'm
like, Oh, gotta go.
And then I go do my thing and then I go back and get it.
Yeah.
I'm very regular in the morning.
That's me for sure.
What is your favorite all time breakfast cereal?
I brought it with me.
It's right here folks.
All right.
It is a post cereal.

(32:00):
It's called O's and what makes O's so good?
Good things in the middle.
That's what.
So, yeah.
So make it to go to, to, to Walmart and get you some, some O's and cut up your mouth.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
These things will fucking destroy your mouth.
Never had those.
Really?
So they're pretty good.

(32:21):
Yeah.
I do enjoy that.
And as, as I think Madison, those are her favorite cereal as well.
But I mean, it's kind of like that crunch berry effect where like, you're going to be cutting
your mouth up a little bit.
Even if we don't have milk, I'll just grab the box and eat a couple of handfuls because
as a kid growing up, I didn't like my cereal with milk.
I was one of those weirdos.
Yeah.

(32:41):
Not a huge fan of milk.
My mom wouldn't make me drink it.
I would put fucking ice in it.
I hated it.
Yeah.
I hated it, but I still drink it.
I've always had a weird relationship with milk.
Also if you're watching this on YouTube and you saw me just make a face, I thought I just
deleted a bunch of our show notes, but I don't think I did.
So if, if you're watching this and notice me go, he's, so, but, but I do like milk and

(33:03):
my cereal now and I just like regular milk.
I don't like any of that fucking weird.
Some oat milk with some canola.
No, I hate oat milk.
Oh my God.
I hate oat milk.
You don't want anal seepage with your milk.
Does that come with oat milk?
Canola.
Oh no.
Is that like a Lestra?
Yeah.
Oh fuck.
Oh Leo.
Yeah, I'm good.

(33:23):
No, I just, just some regular old, I, if the organic, I would like.
I would like that.
There's, if you need a milk plug, because again, I got a complicated relationship with
milk, but there's this place called L E L natural N A T R U L farms out in Cleburne.
Oh, I figured that's not too far from here.
And they sell raw milk, completely unpasteurized.

(33:45):
You can go see the cows.
It's like eight bucks a gallon.
Is that where Kyle and Abby used to get theirs from?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's, I've had some of it.
Yeah.
It's delicious.
I think some of that, someone brought some of that to a, to a Voka one time.
That stuff is awesome.
But like, it's not like a disgrace to like put it in a bowl with cereal.

(34:06):
No, no.
They're not like, you're wasting it.
No, you can use it any way you'd use regular milk.
It's just, it's not pasteurized.
It is from like a local place.
The kids would probably love that.
And it's also easier on your stomach.
It's the pasteurization that jacks up your stomach.
Like if I get the ultra pasteurized milk, and if I have that, I'm okay.
If I have regular like, you know, great value or farms or whatever, it tears my stomach

(34:31):
up.
But the raw milk never had an issue.
Cool.
I'll check it out.
But yeah, it's like, it's like a 45 minute drive from here, but it is worth it.
And you can also freeze them.
So I usually buy like eight gallons at a time and throw them in the deep freeze.
Oh, okay.
Cool.
Yeah.
Just like you freeze breast milk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I've had breast milk before.
I mean, yeah.

(34:51):
Come on.
A little sip.
I do this really fun thing when Heather was pregnant and also breastfeeding later.
I'd go, like she'd be laying there.
I'd get in her ear and go, Leche.
I'm sure she really liked it.
She fucking hated it.
I don't understand why.
I thought it was like very mysterious and romantic, but.

(35:13):
Yeah.
Like Latin lover.
Like a wrestler with the wrestler mask.
Leche, dos de leche.
Lucha, dor de leche.
Okay.
Oh yeah.
Lucha, dor de leche.
That could be good.
Wear it all white.
No, doc.
What were you all talking about?
Lucha, dor de leche on one of your episodes?
I'm sure we have before.

(35:34):
I thought it was.
I used to have one.
I don't know what happened to it.
I bought it at an army, like an army surplus store in Portland, Oregon when I was like
18.
Did you tell that story on the pod?
I don't know.
I actually haven't thought about that story in a long time.
I used to wear it when I'd ride my bike, which was really stupid.
Well, if you fell on the ground, you'd protect your face, I guess.
I guess.

(35:55):
Ray Mysterio on the BMX out there.
Just flipping like the Tony Hawk of BMX.
Would that be Matt Hoffman?
Yeah.
They both had video games.
Yeah, I guess so.
I was trying to think of another one.
I think Matt Hoffman.
Dave Mirra.
Dave Mirra.
Yeah.
There you go.
That video game was pretty.
That guy is bald, right?
Yeah.

(36:15):
I remember loving fucking X game shit.
No, he was bald later in life or probably is bald now.
I met Tony Hawk.
He did a demo in the parking lot of the Vista Ridge Mall in Lewisville.
There was a Birdhouse demo when he was still with Birdhouse.
I don't know if he still is with Birdhouse or whatever, but it was him, Bucky Lassic,
this other dude.

(36:36):
Some really cool peeps.
Like legit fucking skaters, but there was like 30 kids there.
No.
Did he do a 900?
No.
They just had a skate.
They had like a street skate set up.
Anytime I see somebody on a skateboard, I just yell, do a 900.
What's funny?
Well, that little kid can do it.
I saw the video.
He did a 900.
I yelled it when I was watching the video.

(36:57):
I showed my kids.
I was like, so you'll never know how big of a deal the 900 was for us.
I was like.
I can close my eyes and see the video.
It was like the opposite of 911.
Yeah.
I was like, the world stopped for like 30 minutes just to make sure that this man hit
this 900 and now we've got 11 and 12 year olds just hitting it whenever they want in
their backyard pool.
What size vert was that?

(37:17):
I think it was 20 or 30.
A big ass one.
Yeah.
But they have bigger ones now, right?
I'm sure.
Dude, I used to love seeing whenever they'd go to that dude from Brazil.
He's got that huge.
Oh, what?
I know who he is.
Travis Pastrana?
No.
Just kidding.
He had the glasses, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(37:37):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I know who you're talking about.
That dude had so many huge just straight down ramps and freaking gaps.
Let me ask you this.
Have you guys ever dropped into a half one?
Have you?
No.
I tried.
I couldn't get it.
Yeah.
I like crashed every time.
I am prone to accidents.
My center of gravity is real weird and like I'm.

(37:59):
Did you skate?
Yeah, not well.
Yeah, me neither.
I was usually the guy with a camera filming everything.
I was just chilling out.
But yeah, I was aggressive in line blading.
Were you a soul skater?
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
No, I never tried because I knew I would hurt myself.
Yeah, because I would just mess.
And you will.
I mean, even now, if you tried, you'd hurt yourself even fucking more.

(38:20):
Because I tried a couple when I worked at a Vodka, I was like, I'm going to skate to
work.
No, because you get on, you're like, I'm going to try to Ollie.
And then it's all down.
I remember you're like, I'm going to moped to work.
And then you crashed your moped.
Hey, I did.
I did crash my moped.
But let me tell you guys, I was sober.
Okay.
Like maybe Cali sober, I guess, because I was like, oh, okay.

(38:41):
I had a moped for a little while driving home.
I worked at the usual bar across the street.
Shout out the usual.
And I was like, I'm going to take a couple nights off drinking, you know, that'd be good
for me.
And then the one night I wasn't drinking, I crashed my fucking skater on the way home
because a kitten ran out in front of me.
A fucking kitten.
It was real.
It was a kitten.
I was like, no.

(39:01):
And then I was wearing no gloves, no jacket, fucking nothing and just ate it and had to
go to work at a Vodka and was wrapped up like a fucking mummy.
And people would be like, oh, my latte.
Can I get it with this?
And I was like, I'm a fucking mummy.
Like, no, I'm not touching anything.
Like I would just sit in front of the register and every single customer, oh my God, what

(39:21):
happened?
I'm like, leave me the fuck alone and get you one.
It was a kitten.
Yeah.
I sold that.
I sold that scooter.
Shout out to my friend, Matt, but yeah, I had to get rid of that thing.
He sold it to me, but I crashed that motherfucker.
Yeah.
It was brutal.
And I had it when I was driving home, my skin came off my hand and it was flapping in the

(39:43):
wind.
I was trying to, I was fucking.
But the thing about not drinking is if I was drinking, I probably would have hit the ground
a little more like.
Elegant.
Yeah.
You know, a little, you know, you wouldn't have felt it so much.
Oh yeah.
But I fucking tensed up and just ripped it.
Man, it was horrible.
All right.
If you're building your perfect breakfast sandwich, what are you going to put on it?

(40:05):
You guys start, you know, with the bread.
Yes, sir.
Okay.
I would be as detailed as possible.
So my wife started making sourdough.
My wife.
My wife.
She started making sourdough at home and it's the fucking bomb.
So I'd probably use some homemade sourdough.
You guys got your own, you got your own bull.
The starter.
Oh yeah.

(40:25):
She's feeding that bitch and fucking turning up, pouring a little out and yeah, it's wild.
That's a whole weekend affair.
You know, it's like, I started on Wednesday, but I can't make it until I'm just like, so
you're going to make a fucking mess every single day until you make it.
Okay.
Well, I'm going to need to eat that.
Okay.
So sourdough bread, fried egg, uh, some sort of sausage patty.
My favorite right now is the spicy great value frozen.

(40:49):
And then cheese.
I would probably go with like pepper Jack or something.
And then I would put hot sauce on it and I would have spicy ketchup on the side to dip
it in.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm a dipper.
You gotta have that ketchup.
You love ketchup, right?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
I would never eat a, uh, cheese steak with ketchup and I would never eat a cheese steak

(41:09):
without ketchup.
Like if someone offered me a cheese steak, I'd be like, do you have ketchup in there?
It's a no.
And I'm like, I'm good.
I'm good.
What is the face for doc?
I'm not a ketchup dude.
Oh my God.
I'm not a ketchup hater.
I like ketchup on eggs.
Yeah.
Ketchup on eggs.
Good.
Ketchup with French fries.
Ketchup on everything.
Yeah.
That's about the only stuff I use.
I put it on my fucking Mac and cheese.
You know, I had to.

(41:29):
I'm good there.
I like lemon pepper on my Mac and cheese.
Whoa.
Okay.
I'm good.
No.
Next time you get a little Mac and cheese, like even box Mac and cheese, just get you
a little shake of that lemon pepper.
What do you mean even box Mac and cheese?
I got two kids.
I'm not making the real Mac and cheese.
I'm making the box for sure.
We usually don't make it.
We get it from like Chick-fil-A.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Will you put it on the Chick-fil-A?
Hell yeah, doc.

(41:50):
Oh damn.
Let me, let me let you white people know something.
You can season food that you didn't make.
Holy shit.
I thought you could just put hot sauce on it.
You could put anything on it.
Dang.
You could put some Danos on that shit.
Damn.
I bought some Danos because I'd heard it was great.
It didn't impress me.

(42:11):
You got to, I mean, it has no salt in it.
So you got to, you got to salt heavily along with it.
And I like the spicy Danos better than the regular, but my wife likes, I don't know.
I jumped on the train years ago.
So these are the bottle that I have is probably no fucking good now.
Yeah.
I've got a giant one I bought for like five bucks.
Huge.
I can't get, I've used it.
I'm going to say, yeah.

(42:32):
It was like a viral thing, a bunch of years ago and then Walmart bought it and yeah, that's
what happens.
Okay.
Okay.
So what's your favorite breakfast of all time?
Holy shit.
No, wait, what is your favorite?
All right.
What?
No, I got lost.
Sorry.
You got lost in the sauce.
What is your breakfast guilty pleasure?

(42:54):
Breakfast guilty pleasure.
Um, well, I don't drink anymore, but I would say Bloody Mary was probably my, that's a
great guilty.
Yeah.
I mean, if I'm eating breakfast and I'm doing it up, like you said, all the way, it's going
to have to be with a Bloody Mary or a mimosa, but I don't drink anymore.
So you can get a virgin.
Yeah.
It's not the same though.

(43:14):
It just doesn't, it doesn't have that little juice.
Orange juice.
Yeah.
Or you know what I could do, which I do.
And then I could put you in a beer with it, a little a virgin meat, a lot of, so I'd probably
do that.
Um, man, I really like, um, like the all, like the all American, you know, I want, I
want, um, fried eggs, hash Browns, bacon, sausage.

(43:37):
Um, like a Denny's kind of all American.
Yeah.
And then I want biscuits and gravy on the side and, uh, like a big glass of orange juice
or, um, I don't know, coffee sometimes, but I usually have it like before.
Like so when I get there, I'm like, I don't want a hot drink with my meal.
You know, I like, I like having a cup of coffee.

(43:57):
What are you doing?
You're that guy where they, they walk around there like you need to top off.
Absolutely.
If, if it is a breakfast restaurant, I'm getting a coffee.
If it's late, I will get a decaf, but if it is morning afternoon, I will get a coffee
and I will probably have like four or five cups while I sit there.
Like I'll drink a cup or two before I get the food.
Yeah.
And I'll have it with my, I need to get on that.

(44:18):
So then when you're done eating, you're not tired, right?
You're just amped up.
Cause you said fucking six cups of coffee.
Carved up.
I got, I got this.
I got the fat.
I got the protein.
Let's go.
Let's go fucking pull some weeds.
So we always kind of go this route, especially with our musician friends.
You're in the tour van and you've got everywhere to your, to your disposal.

(44:41):
Money's not a problem, but we are getting fast food cause we're on the road.
So it's gotta be quick.
Where are we stopping?
Breakfast, McDonald's, sausage, biscuit and cheese.
No egg too.
Too.
Too.
You know, no eggs.
No eggs.
Cause the eggs are fucking weird there.
Well, it depends.
How do you get it?

(45:01):
Good.
Ask for it fresh.
Oh, and they have to crack an egg for you.
Oh shit.
Okay.
They have like a little circular mold and crack a fresh one in there.
I know that they've gone to saying they crack all their eggs fresh now.
Yeah, but then they put them in that little fucking plastic tray or whatever and they're
like, you can get a fresh egg.
Yeah.
Okay.
So for lunch, we'd probably stop.
I didn't say lunch.

(45:21):
I just said breakfast.
This isn't lunch of champions.
I'm not stopping at Taco Bell for breakfast.
Okay.
We learned that.
If it's three in the morning, you better pull in.
Yeah.
They better put a bunch of fire sauce in there.
I'm not even going to fuck with it.
That's the other thing.
Look, we'll eat Taco Bell at three o'clock in the morning, but then you put it in front
of you at seven 30 and it's not the same.
You're like, I'm going to throw up everywhere.

(45:43):
I've had a cold Taco Bell taco for breakfast.
I mean, I'm more like actual like-
Taco Bell breakfast.
Going to breakfast at Taco Bell.
I don't think I've ever eaten it.
I don't want to.
Like sober.
You just woke up.
You're about to go take a friend out for breakfast.
You're telling me, are you like Taco Bell?
Yeah.
Let's get all the change out of the couch first and fucking go.
Yeah.
No, I'm good on that.

(46:04):
Or waffle.
I mean, yeah.
Waffle house is pretty tight.
Well, hey, that's a great segue to our next question.
Favorite breakfast restaurant, whether it's a chain or a local mom and pop shop.
Oh man.
Dang.
There's so many good ones in Fort Worth though.
I know.
I mean, shit.
We are blessed.
Yeah.
I would say growing up, it probably would have been IHOP or Denny's.
Now that I'm a man and I like food that doesn't taste like fucking cardboard or whatever.

(46:30):
Vickery Cafe.
I love Vickery Cafe.
So good.
That's where I went for my birthday breakfast.
It's got that old school diner feel.
All the waitresses are so sweet.
Like one of the waitresses held Hank when he was a baby one time.
Like typical, like fucking awesome.
It feels like you're in like a small town and it's like 30 plus years ago.
And they call you honey and baby and sweetie and stuff.

(46:51):
And I'm like, you step in there and it's like, oh, hey, this feels like how these places
felt like when I was a kid.
Yeah.
And people are like actually reading the paper and not looking at their fucking phone and
shit like it's a real last spot.
Yeah.
Vickery Cafe.
Fuck yeah.
Old neighborhood girls like that too.
And we did like I think Rhodes's first four birthdays there.

(47:11):
Same vibe.
You know, small, slow.
I like old neighborhood girl for lunch, man.
They've got a great lunch.
And all the ladies that work there are super sweet.
Yeah.
Everybody there's nice and everybody's taking their time.
Like you said, read the paper and nobody's really like loud and not on their phone.
Yeah.
It's not like, yeah, hustle and bustle.
It's like, no, you're going to sit and you know, do you think turkey bacon is trash or

(47:36):
would you consider it delish?
I don't know.
I mean, I got to have your good turkey bacon because I've never had any.
Yeah.
And it's good.
I'm not.
I'm coming around.
Also, I started frying it in the fryer.
Oh, like in the air fryer.
No, in the deep.
Oh, for the burgers that raise because it takes so long to cook on the flat.
Yeah, I started deep frying it like and then I finish it on the flat top and it's see,

(47:59):
I would eat that.
But like the other kinds I've had where it's like kind of thin and like, yeah, no.
Yeah.
You got to like burn that shit for to taste.
Yeah.
And no on the microwave bacon.
Also, I've been there.
I've been in a pinch.
I've been in a bind.
Yeah.
But I'm good.
You know, you don't like that floppy moist.
Bacon, it better not be coming out floppy from the microwave in the microwave.

(48:23):
It comes out like super crispy.
Yeah.
Why are you cooking it for 30 seconds?
I don't know.
I don't use the mic.
No.
OK, yeah, no, I don't like floppy.
This is like me.
So you're the microwave.
I was in a pinch.
So like me saying, I have no experience with the.
I don't like floppy microwave.
I'm good on is oatmeal peasant food.

(48:45):
It's baby food.
OK, that's.
I'm both both my kids were raised on it and I feel like it's to me, it's kind of like
baby food.
I love that.
Feed it to little Timmy orphan.
And I will throw in there also, I am not a fan of overnight oats.
So if I'm overnight with you or you or your, you know, family, I'd be like, don't.

(49:06):
But I think I'm only a fan of the overnight oats because of the Acai bowl.
I bought Acai and me and Ava making Acai bowls at home.
Like what?
Frozen cubes of it or something.
Yeah.
I think it's a blueberry fiesta or something.
Walmart.
That's right.
Yeah.
But yeah, so we've made some Acai bowls, got some old to put on top of it.
Yeah.
Thank you, Gracie family for bringing that delicacy to the United States.

(49:27):
We've been enjoying it.
No, it's good times.
Yeah.
All right, sir.
What is your favorite action movie?
OK, violent action movie.
It doesn't have to be Jean Claude Van Damme.
This is the question about getting ready, is it?
No.
OK, this is just violence action movie.
OK.
Whether it is an 80s style movie or 90s style movie or whether it has a star in it or not,

(49:52):
we initially went with what's your favorite Jean Claude Van Damme movie, but everybody
just has blood for it and kind of takes the window to the sale of the question.
OK, so there's a couple, I would say.
Go for it.
You know, you're a movie guest.
We're going to be talking movies.
Starting younger and until I was a teenager, it probably would have been Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.

(50:13):
So growing up, Boondock Saints was pretty fucking tight.
If you ask me, you know, like, where are you going?
Nowhere fucking nowhere.
William Defoe.
I mean, I love that.
And then like probably Point Break.
Yeah.
Lovely.
Point Break is and like you heard the mention on the episode before, that was my number

(50:37):
one.
Yeah.
Keanu Reeves movie.
Keanu Reeves.
Yeah.
So yeah, I guess those are, you know, I don't go too violent.
I'm not a super not a super huge fan of watching violent.
Violetia.
Violet TV shows.
Violet movies a little bit more into a violent TV shows.
I don't know.
I'm more into I'm more like the office or, you know, community or Parks and Rec or I've

(51:03):
been rewatching 30 Rocks.
So yes, but yeah, Ninja Turtles, man.
Why the hell not?
Secret of the Ooze.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Did you have a crush on April, April O'Neal?
I think I had a crush on Casey Jones.
Well, that was the thing is like the cartoon April O'Neal was hot and live action April

(51:25):
O'Neal.
Yeah.
It's kind of like green jumpsuit and she was all.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Casey Jones.
I wanted to be him.
I didn't want to be.
I named my first dog, Casey Jones after I got one of my dad's old golf bags and I just
started putting random shit inside of it and carrying it around.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a good move.
That's a good move.
All right, sir.

(51:45):
Oh, you want to say you know, what is the worst injury due to a fight?
Whether training, regulated fight or a street fight that you've.
Okay.
So the worst injury I probably had in a fight was this is one of the fight stories I was
going to tell when I was in junior high.
I got in fights a lot in junior high.
I started a lot of shit.
I felt like I had something to prove.

(52:07):
Like people will be like, you won't.
I'll be like, oh yeah, I will.
You know, like I'll go crazy.
I'll go to the junior high again.
Yeah.
And you know, like fighting and crying and like going fucking just.
Like that back to the future, like you're yellow.
You can always get some trouble.
See I'm thinking more of like a Christmas story with Scott Farkas.
Oh yeah.

(52:28):
You know, that would be.
There's like unbridled rage.
Oh yeah.
So this kid was talking shit and I was like, oh man, what's up, dude?
You know, like you're so little and you're so scrawny.
Like I could whoop you, blah, blah, blah.
And so we were like, well, let's meet up at the daycare, which is right around the corner.
And it's got like a little, I guess, fighting arena basically.

(52:48):
Yeah.
Fucking big cement wall I was about to get thrown into.
So I'm like, let's go motherfucker.
And so I meet him down there and my friends are, you know, there to kind of like back
me up even though they didn't.
So it turns out this kid was a wrestler and first move.
He just picked me up and fucking slammed me into this.

(53:09):
Oh, Jesus.
And all my friends were just like, oh, and I was like trying to like, I went at him again
and tried to hit him and he like grabbed my leg and fucking just, he just kept slamming
me into the pavement.
And I was like all beat up, bloodied, bruised, all that shit.
And none of my friends jumped in and helped me and I had to go home and get a haircut.

(53:30):
So we always walked to school.
You know, we walked to school 15 miles in the snow every day.
You know, I really did not in the snow, but I walked my broke broken ass home and my mom
was like, what happened?
And I was like, oh, I got in a fight and she's like, okay, we're going to get your haircut.
I remember just sitting in the haircut chair and like blood is like running down my like
face and she didn't even clean you up or nothing.

(53:52):
Not really.
Or they would started bleeding again, probably.
But yeah, I got my ass to be pretty bad by that dude.
And that was when I learned that, you know, you can talk as much shit as you want, but
one day somebody's going to whoop your ass and then you probably won't talk so much shit.
And I cleaned up my act after that.
Even though I did win fights before and after that, I was no longer the instigator.

(54:15):
Yeah, I just played it cool.
Just takes one time of getting humbled.
Yeah, put everything in perspective.
And I was very fucking humbled and it sucked.
So Jesse, wherever you are, man, keep it going.
Shout out, Jesse.
Jesse hit Jesse's in the UFC.
It's like the cut overlay.
He's like, what do you think?

(54:38):
Like you, you obviously are not training, so you personally don't have a finishing move
that that would be your favorite.
But like if you're watching a fight, like to like even if it's a movie or something,
what do you think is the coolest way to like finish a fight?
Uppercut.
Uppercut.
Like kind of like fly up and then they're like hit the ground or whatever.
That's a great way.
Yeah.

(54:59):
Where their like skeleton comes out of their body in the video game.
Their soul leaves for a moment.
Yeah.
Great segue because the next question is what's your favorite fighting arcade game or it could
be a console game?
I would probably go with either Mortal Kombat or Street Fighter 2 Turbo.
Hell yeah.
Good choices.
You know what I was thinking about the other day that I completely forgot about is SNES

(55:21):
versus Capcom.
Dude.
Oh my God.
I forgot this other game.
Oh, Streets of Rage is so cool.
Oh, Streets of Rage.
But it wasn't Streets of Rage.
It was this other game.
I'm going to have to find it.
Yeah, it's cool.
Yeah.
Double Dragon.
No, it was a Sega game, but I saw it and I heard like the intro music to it and I was
like, it brought me.
Ninja Gaiden?
It wasn't Ninja Gaiden.
Fatal Fury?

(55:42):
No, it wasn't that either.
I had a Fatal Fury hat that I wore all the time.
It was like a licensed one.
I found it for 99 cents at Goodwill.
Oh damn.
I wore it every human error show and it would get knocked off my head, trampled.
I still have it at my house, but it started out, it was a white trucker hat with red mesh,
red writing, red bill.
The white is now brown.
Just like all the sweat and blood and just dirt from getting trampled.

(56:05):
Nice.
Yeah.
The game was really cool.
I'll show it to you guys.
I'll find it, but you'll hear it and see it and be like, oh damn, I forgot about that.
Speaking of Genesis, I was just going back into my memories, but I guess like six years
ago, I was super obsessed with Aladdin on Genesis for a long time.
You still have the Sega, right?
No, I got rid of it.

(56:25):
That game was so hard.
I think that was one of the first video games I ever beat.
Oh damn.
I never beat anything.
I'm not one to beat many video games, but I remember I was probably like seven or eight
and the first time I beat it, I was like, oh my God.

(56:46):
I figured it out and then I could just play the game all the way through.
I beat it so many times because it was one of like four games I had, but I knew that
I could just finish it in one afternoon.
Wait, did they put Sega games and Nintendo power?
Aladdin was on Super Nintendo and Genesis.
Oh, that's right.
And so was Lion King and they're slightly different.
I had it on Super Nintendo.
See, I didn't have it.

(57:07):
Super Nintendo was easier.
Genesis was significantly harder in difficulty.
I didn't have a Sega Genesis.
I had the original Nintendo, Super Nintendo and then PlayStation.
Were you a professional wrestling fan like WWE or anything like that?
I had a friend.
Oh, sorry.
I was just going to say, so who was your favorite wrestler slash era slash event?

(57:29):
Okay.
So I had a friend that was into it and this would have been fifth grade and his parents
would buy all the pay-per-views.
So anytime there was a pay-per-view, he'd be like, hey, you want to come watch it?
And I did sometimes I didn't other times, but my favorite guy, this would have been
if I was in fifth grade, it would have been 95 or 96 and Sting was my guy.
Sting.

(57:49):
So was that Monday Night Raw?
I think so.
Yeah, that was WCW.
Yeah, it was WCW, which would have been Monday Nitro.
Oh, Nitro.
Yeah, Nitro was so good.
I would watch it.
So I would watch Nitro.
Yeah.
Because all the kids would talk about it at school.
So if you didn't watch it, you were going to be left out of the conversation.
If you were growing up in that era, there wasn't very much on and of course, we didn't

(58:13):
have the internet back in my day and streaming and all that stuff, physical media.
If you weren't one of those kids who had parents that would buy the pay-per-view or whatever,
you'd have to wait for six to eight months for it to come out on VHS and then you'd have
to go to Blockbuster and fight the other little kids to read it because you wanted to see
Summer Slam from last year because you're broke-ass didn't get a chance to see it.
I heard Summer Slam was really good this year.

(58:35):
I've heard that too.
I haven't watched it.
We should get back into it just as grown-ass adults as we're fully involved by it.
That's so good.
So Monday nights would have been Nitro.
Wednesday was South Park and Saturday was 120 Minutes.
And then those shows on the Christian station where they would play the music videos really

(58:59):
late at night before you're supposed to go to fucking church in the morning.
I'm like staying up watching skate videos at four o'clock in the morning and then following
a sleep in church always.
Always, always.
I just sent you that video of the slick shoes at a Warp Tour.
Dude, if you were not alive when we were alive, I feel sorry for you because there was just
this fine line of walking between like, I'm walking righteously with the Lord, but I'm

(59:23):
also looking for everything that does not sound like walking righteously with the Lord.
And then it just was like kind of the corniest version of like the hardest music you could
have ever heard.
So Project 86.
Fuck yeah, dude.
I want a Project 86 CD from the local alternative radio station in Springfield, Illinois.
Because on Sunday nights they would have like a church hour where they would play like alternative

(59:45):
Christian rock.
I called in and I answered like a bunch of Bible verses right.
Oh my God.
And got to go down to the station and pick up my Project 86 CD.
What's crazy is I was trying to tell this to another friend of mine that was a little
bit younger of like, you don't understand.
Think about like how big DC Talks, like Jesus Freak crossed over onto like the mainstream
and it was just like, it was like, I would, because I was a Christian at that time, I

(01:00:09):
thought, oh, this is awesome.
Yeah, I had the CD single for Jesus Freak.
I thought it was a cool thing.
Jars of Clay was another one.
See, I was more of a fan of audio adrenaline.
Yeah.
So I was more of a 500 and frenzy fan.
Oh my God.
Don't even, we've already, you've already talked about that.
You don't know about Super Chick?
Oh yeah.
I saw a Super Chick play in a like.
Wait, not Super Tones.

(01:00:30):
No, Super Chick.
Super Tones.
They were like a pop punk.
They had two chicks.
One had like brown hair and one had like blondish reddish hair.
I forgot about that.
So when I was in seventh grade, I did a lock in at University of Illinois in Champaign,
Urbana.
And it was like, I went to a Lutheran school.
And so in the like auditorium of the local church, Super Chick played to just like the

(01:00:52):
youth group, like the seventh and eighth graders.
Nice.
It was awesome.
A lot of impure thoughts going on.
So many impure thoughts.
I know I sent it to Renee, but when I found the flyer of the show that we were both at,
I also found the flyer of the first punk slash Christian show I ever went to.
And it was with this band, Dogwood, who you might remember.
And then the local band was Schmunks4u.

(01:01:14):
Schmunks4u.
And I'm friends with one of the guys on Facebook and I sent him the flyer and he's like, oh
my God, I can't believe you still have that.
So many cool bands.
Yeah, dude.
Let's see.
Yeah.
Jivago was a club, 217 club.
It was over for Brian Irvin and like 20.
It was like a Christian club.
I went there one time for a battle.

(01:01:34):
Was it Cafe 217?
I think I know what you're talking about.
I think it was over like where Music Go Round is now.
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
But yeah, it was like club.
He's more like Irving.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I went to, I saw some bands play in Grapevine, Mid Cities and Grand Prairie.
Did you guys ever go to God's Place?
I don't think so.
You remember it?

(01:01:54):
I think I've heard of it.
Burned and shit.
Man, that was the one like Christian like club place I wanted to go to, but I didn't
ever go.
I think it was out this way somewhere.
We'll have to look into it.
But yeah, there was like club 217 or something like that.
And yeah, it was.
Timothy 217.
It was an all ages club and it was set up like a bar, but they didn't serve alcohol.
And yeah, I saw like my first ever Christian metalcore bands there in like 2002.

(01:02:18):
It's no Venice Beach.
It's beautiful.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Sent you back, right?
Club DMX.
Oh my God.
Or Cowboys on college night.
Good Lord.
There was a lot of bad.
Bad.
Decisions.
Do we want to skip like the last three?
Sure.
The one question I want you with the montage question.

(01:02:38):
I want the money.
Yeah, let's do the training montage.
I think everything else is kind of like wrestling.
Okay.
Yeah.
So the training montage, as soon as you guys said this question to someone, I knew right
away what my training montage was.
Three ninjas.
Shit.
When they hang the fucking clay pots from the tree and they're like kicking them with
their grandpa and shit.
How?
How is no one not mentioned that?

(01:02:59):
That's like the best fucking training.
I love that movie.
And actually loves Emily.
Rocky.
Dude, my movie is fucking.
My son actually brought that up to raise other days.
So we played it while we were doing burgers.
We played on the first day we were open and when we played it last week and he's watching
it, he's like, I kick those karate kids ass.

(01:03:20):
I got this.
I got that.
And I was like, it was during the montage.
So it's during the montage.
And I was like, well, they're learning right now.
I was like, by the end of the movie, I don't know if you could.
And then I got that.
I was like, those dudes train with their grandpa.
Yeah.
I can take all of my ones.
All right.
He's like, especially the fat one always has food in.
Yeah.
I was like, some time alone.

(01:03:41):
Does the movie still hold up?
Cause I haven't rewatched it yet.
I watched it a couple times.
You know, right now that movie holds up.
It holds the fuck up.
I've been saving it because I want it to be, you know, why I think that movie holds up
because there's just the suspension of disbelief that those little kids are like rolling around
the city on their bikes and shit like that without their parents like knowing and shit
like that.
And that was like, that's the biggest thing as a kid is just like the, the autonomous

(01:04:06):
independence to make decisions, to do things, to like save the world or whatever.
You know, there's always some big mystery or some big thing.
If my parents didn't know what I was doing right now, I'd be saving the world.
We tried karate instead.
We were like looking at dumb shit on the internet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, no, we did that.
We went around, but we were like breaking beer bottles in the, in the, in the, in the
shoot, BB guns and shit.

(01:04:27):
Yeah.
Or in the drainage ditch.
Did you guys ever go out in the woods and just find porn mags and 40s?
Hell yeah.
I remember finding like beer cans and like empty cigarettes and shit like that.
And no, we have one of my friends, like his house backed up to just like woods as far
as you could see.
And we would just get lost in the woods for like six, eight hours a day.

(01:04:48):
And that's before we were, you carried around a water bottle, like a little fucking whistle.
Like, this was also, this was in Illinois.
So it wasn't like a million degrees.
It was like when it was cold out, like we get bundled up and go out there, but people would
stash 40s in the creek.
Cause they say cold.
So the first time I ever take a drink and forget the first time I ever tasted beer was
out of a 40 that was like ice cold from the creek.

(01:05:11):
That's tasty and for you.
And then like not far from like, you'd kind of just follow the trail and then, Oh, there's
a porn omegs.
And I remember, yeah, similar situation.
Coming out with uncles and cousins to like go shoot guns into the desert.
And all of a sudden you stumble across somebody's favorite little scene.
You know, like cool.
Always always with the porno mags.

(01:05:31):
Okay.
So before we go, before we go too far off of the training montage, I do have one honorable
mention I also wanted to bring up that I don't know if you guys have thought about.
It's not so much a training montage, but it's a kind of getting ready for battle, securing
goods and getting ready and doing whatnot.
And that would be from the movie monster squad.

(01:05:51):
Oh yes.
When they're making the bullets and they're sharpening the fucking stakes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love stuff like that.
That would be my, I mean, I would, I would categorize that as a training montage.
Listen, I'm so sorry.
I'm apologizing to, if you can see me, I have an itchy toe right now.
And so I've been wearing these shoes for about 10 hours today and my foot just started sweating

(01:06:15):
and itching.
So if you see me and you're disgusted, I apologize.
If you can't see me and I just brought this up and I outed myself, honestly, they should
be charging if they're seeing toes.
I understand.
If there's anybody out there that really needs to see my feet up close and personal, we can
work something out.
And that then six, eight, two, two, nine, four, zero, one, zero, one.
And that money goes directly to the broke boys.

(01:06:37):
Yes.
The broke boys betters.
Yeah.
The broke boys better bank.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I did have this before we moved on.
If you were like transported and you were like, okay, I'm about to go fight somebody
in like a movie or made for TV series.
What's the song they're going to play for you to walk out to?

(01:06:59):
You're about to beat somebody's ass.
What's your hype up like?
I guess like classic refuse new noise.
Got that Friday night lights vibe going on.
Get an ice cream.
Yeah, that would probably be it.
I mean, I'm going to steal that from them.

(01:07:19):
And that song fucking rules and everybody that'll get everyone.
Yeah.
It's a high pass song for sure.
I remember watching that video on 120 minutes for the very first time.
They can see you on the video.
So you making all these faces.
People are going to be like, why is Parker Parker's like this?
I remember seeing the video.
Oh, what?
No fight.
Fight.
Oh my God.

(01:07:40):
Our first fight.
Yeah.
So the first on camera on show fight.
Yeah.
It's sort of a walk on song for a band TV.
They're the band I would like to fight.
Dude, I had such a hard line of radio head right behind them.
Now that's a great episode.
Bands that you would want to fight.
Oh, the starting line would be the first band I would want to fight.
I threw my shoe at that guy knowing I'm not going to get this shoe back.

(01:08:04):
Was it a warp tour by chance?
No, it was at the door in Dallas and we were on the upper part and he was like, Hey guys,
who's ready to have fun?
And I was like, fuck this.
The warp tour like 2002 or 2003, I was watching the suicide machines play.
Okay.
Yeah, they're cool.
Starting line is playing at the stage next to them and they go, fuck those motherfuckers

(01:08:25):
up and suicide machines, which listening to suicide machines now I'm like, they're just
a fucking ska band.
Yeah.
Like they're not even like a punky kind of, not even like rancid.
Like they're a little bit poppier than that even.
And they're like, when we play this song, charge those motherfuckers and make them wish
they'd never been born.
And everyone watching the suicide machines just fucking clobbered the starting line.

(01:08:50):
Oh shit.
And yeah, it was, it was really fucking funny.
It was stupid, stupid idiots.
Wonderful.
Well, that has been the lightning round with your and my guest, Jordan Klein.
Wonderful.
We, we feel like we're old friends, so we're just kind of getting into stories.
So if you feel like this episode's kind of all over the place, it is, but it's meant

(01:09:11):
to be that way because we're comfortable and it's rested and we have a friend here.
But if you did listen to last episode and you've heard the last couple of episodes,
we've been doing this segment where we have like the top five movies from our favorite
action stars.
And so we recapped your favorite Keanu Reeves last time because you had texted me on that.

(01:09:33):
So this time we are talking Nicholas Cage.
And so we're going to just take a second to think about, uh, refresh our memory as to
like any of the Nicholas Cage.
Think about your father.
While we're refreshing, will you hand me my bag and I have something to show to the camera.
And this might refresh you guys if you forgot.

(01:09:54):
Um, I did bring the cereal to show off.
I also brought my copy that, uh, of, uh, con air that I made, uh, nice, a little, I love
that little swap.
I did a con air face off double feature, but I want to do a triple feature.
I want to start with con air and then I want to do face off and I want to end with broken

(01:10:17):
error.
Oh shit.
I forgot face off.
Yeah, that's a good one.
But broken arrow is John Travolta and Christian Slater directed by John Wu, who also did
a face off.
So you could do a Nicholas Cage movie, a John Travolta movie, and then one with both of
them that also shares.
It's like a six degrees separation with Kevin Bacon.
So do we start at number one?

(01:10:37):
We usually just kind of freestyle, uh, just because for the most part we forget who we're
talking about.
And then we kind of just like to talk about her.
And then at the end we kind of come back and give like a little, um, but what I was going
to say is for those of you who are unaware of who Nicholas Cage is, if you haven't seen
any Nicholas Cage movies, uh, I suggest that you stop what you're doing right now, uh,

(01:11:02):
and educate yourself on this fine, fine person.
Uh, he is a member of the, uh, famous Coppola family.
Yeah.
I mean, well, clearly.
Yeah.
So he is a Francis Ford Coppola's nephew.
I believe.
Oh shit.
I didn't know that.
So he is a Coppola's like cousin and like everybody that's related to the Coppola's,

(01:11:25):
which, um, Talia Shire, um, she is the actress in Rocky.
She's also Jason Schwartzman's mother.
Um, Jay, wait, the drummer for, um, California.
Uh, and also the actor.
Yeah.
Um, but she's also like in the Coppola family as well.

(01:11:49):
And so you've got like the Schwartzman's, the Coppola's, the cages.
There's a lot of people that are kind of in that family and the Hollywood network and
you would, if you're Catholics, you know, Italian and now you've got the lead singer
Phoenix and exactly like, yep, they're involved now.
So we've got French, the French involved in the Coppola Illuminati.

(01:12:10):
Uh, also, um, uh, if you don't know Nick Cage, he's kind of an eccentric person.
Uh, he's, he's got an obsession with, what's that?
The man loved leather.
He does love leather.
He also loves dinosaur bones and he loves like collecting just like grandiose things
that you would like never considered like, like pieces of buildings and like time historical

(01:12:33):
things.
And so he's got lots of fossils and bones and cars and planes and trains and automobiles
and boners.
Uh, what I would also mention is, uh, he's already, he's already bought his grave plot
also.
I've been there.
I've been there too.
I'll have to dig up.
I have a picture of Jake Palachuk in front of it.
Um, it's a, it's a big white pyramid.

(01:12:54):
It's in new Orleans.
Yeah.
And cemetery number two.
Yeah.
I love that cemetery.
It got struck by lightning twice.
Shut up.
Yeah.
Just the pyramid.
We get to take a tour of St. Louis cemetery.
Number two, a tornado was coming.
So we were the only ones in the cemetery and the tour guide was like telling us how it
got struck by lightning twice and like how he can be buried there because he is Catholic

(01:13:18):
because he's a Coppola, but that, yeah, he bought it and he probably shouldn't be there
because it got struck by lightning twice.
Yeah.
Um, and that I saw it, that would have, that was my 30th birthday.
So that was 10 years ago when I saw it, but yeah, it's fucking crazy dude already bought
his fucking tomb and it's just like waiting.
I mean, when you're, when your uncle is Francis Ford Coppola and you know, I made some of

(01:13:41):
the greatest movies full time.
You decide at a very young age that you want to make your own name and you still make your
own name when people don't really know that you're a Coppola.
That's yeah.
So um, I think I was kind of like to try to open these up with like, I try to take a beat
and think about when was the first time I was like cognizant of a Nicholas Cage in my

(01:14:04):
personal life and then kind of branch out through there.
So I remember seeing the poster and the cover for raising Arizona and like some of the earliest
flashes of my memory.
I bet if I were to call my mom and dad and ask them, you know, is that one of the movies
that they saw when they were younger earlier in their marriage?

(01:14:24):
Or could you have seen it while you were in the house with them?
Right.
I think that's probably like the one movie that like is like as far back as I can remember
for start.
I go and, Oh, I like that guy.
I like that guy.
Let's watch that movie.
Let's watch that movie.
I think that's the first thing that kind of came across my face is like, this is Nicholas
Cage.
It's a wonderful movie too.
Who was the director of that one?
I don't know.

(01:14:44):
What's that?
Raising Arizona.
It was the Cohen brothers.
Oh yeah.
That's why it's so good.
Hey, I know those guys.
I was in a bit.
Hey, brother.
Remember when you yelled at me?
Yeah, that was me.
Yeah.
So, um, anyone have a particular favorite they want to bring up right off the bat?
Okay.
So pertaining to that first question to, for me to know when I kind of first realized that

(01:15:06):
my one question would be which movie came out first, the rock or gone in 60 seconds,
the rock, the rock.
Okay, so the rock was probably my first really knowing and acknowledging who he is.
Yeah.
I also remember seeing, I know I saw the rock in the theater because I remember those fucking
green balls or whatever, but that movie, that movie is so fucking fantastic.

(01:15:29):
Yeah.
Michael Bay, Jerry Brookheimer.
Yeah.
Sean Connery, Nicholas Cage.
And I love it.
And it's cool.
I mean, it's not just a movie.
It's like a lore, you know, they're pulling in real world, you know, stuff.
Yeah.
It is real and it's not just all made up.
And I think that's kind of like one of his tropes too, is to like have some of that real

(01:15:50):
world fantasy.
National treasure.
National treasure.
Yeah.
The rock with the, you know, the prison and that whole thing.
I think like that's one of the things that he kind of maybe seeks out and maybe some
of the rules that he takes up is just like a little, a little believability in the real
world tie into real world events.
So fun fact.
The rock has a criterion edition.

(01:16:12):
It is one of two Michael Bay movies to be on criterion.
What's the other one?
I don't want to miss a thing.
Armageddon.
Yuck.
I wish that had Nicholas Cage in it.
Nicholas Cage would have been athleic.
He should have played the love interest.

(01:16:32):
So maybe some lesser known ones.
Have you guys seen one of my favorite ones that he did that not a lot of people have
seen was Lord of War.
Yeah, I saw it in the theater.
I'm pretty sure I've got a poster of it from when I worked at the movie theater.
What year was that?
2005.
I don't know if I've seen that one.
It's really good.

(01:16:53):
I think it's on 2B too.
Yeah.
So that's one that maybe not a lot of people like throw out there when it comes to like
Nicholas Cage movies.
I love that movie.
Jared Leto is in that movie.
One of the most underrated performances.
You're fucked Jared Leto.
Yeah, forever.
What did he do?
Have you ever met the dude?
What did he do?
He's like a cult leader.
I have met the dude.
I met him twice and it was terrible.
I separate Jared Leto from the...

(01:17:15):
The actor of 30 Seconds Tomorrow?
And the 30 Seconds Tomorrow.
No, they're the same person.
Damn it.
And both versions are the fucking worst.
No, do you recommend him for a dream?
You know what other...
In real life, he should have his arm cut off.
Talk about bands I want to fight, Jared Leto, front of the fucking line.
30 Seconds Tomorrow, step right up.

(01:17:36):
Damn.
I don't want to fight the rest of the band, just him.
Fuck Jared Leto.
Jeez.
And then before our time, you have Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
It kind of makes a little appearance in there.
I forgot he was in the one.
He played Brad's bud there.
He also made an uncredited appearance in the great movie, The Outsiders.
He plays a soche in that movie because he's a soche.

(01:18:00):
And then right after...
So think about this three run of 82, 83.
He did Fast Times at Ridgemont High, followed by The Outsiders, followed by Valley Girl.
Just like one, two...
He just got to be a little blip in three of the greatest freaking movies ever.
Yeah.
And then so I was reading a little bit about him and apparently he was like...
I personally thought that he was always method.

(01:18:21):
He just was always a method actor.
But apparently he had this story where in 1984 he was playing a...
I think a trolley driver or something like that.
But he was so into his method acting that he smashed up a piece of glass and realized
that he couldn't take himself that far.
So he actually has not been doing really method acting since the 80s.

(01:18:43):
He's just doing acting.
That's just him.
That is just him.
I love it.
Remind me what method acting is.
It's like when you take over, you embody the character and then you're like...
Yeah, like Jim Carrey, Man in the Moon.
He only wanted to be known as Andy.
You couldn't talk to him.
And he walked around talking like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay.
So yeah, we've touched on Con Air.

(01:19:03):
We've touched on Face Off, the one that you mentioned that I think is highly underrated
now that I've gone back and taken a look at it through adult eyes has gone in 60 seconds.
That would be my mention.
That would probably be my guy number two or number three.
I think what...
Gone in 60 seconds is a fucking great movie.
Yeah.
The opening and like...

(01:19:24):
Have you seen the original?
It's a remake.
Yeah, it's a remake.
Oh, wait.
I probably have.
And the original was like super low budget with like crazy car stunts.
It's really good.
Yeah.
Man.
You know, there's so many movies that you watch back in the day.
And like for me, watching movies back in the day, we would always get ripped, blasted.
So I've seen like, you know, there's probably a hundred movies that I'm like, I don't even

(01:19:45):
remember and someone's like that.
And I'm like, oh wait, yeah, I have seen that.
Because that would be me.
Like before we went into the movie theater, we're in the parking lot.
Blowing one down.
And then I'm straight in right before the movie's about to start.
No sitting and fucking around and eating popcorn.
We're going in and we're getting it done.
So speaking of like runs, he did Rock, Con Air, Face Off, Back to Back to Back.

(01:20:09):
Those are my three.
And then right after that, he did Snake Eyes, 8mm and then Gone in 60 seconds.
Yeah, 8mm is great.
One that I know that neither of you are going to mention, I wanted to bring it up because
again, I'm a sweet, sweet mommy's boy with the romantic comedies.
One of the best movies that I love to tell people about and love to watch every once

(01:20:33):
in a while is a movie called It Could Happen to You.
Oh man, yeah.
Fuck me, dude.
That's such a good movie.
He is married to Rosie Perez in the movie and he plays a cop and he goes and has pie
or lunch or something like that and forgets to tip the waitress or can't tip the waitress.
And so he makes her a promise that if he wins the lottery, he'll come back and split the

(01:20:56):
winnings with her.
And he does.
Oh my God.
Yeah, I remember that movie.
And he is like the one guy in New York who would actually come back and actually give
her half the money.
And so the movie is just like, obviously they fall in love and Rosie Perez is exposed for
being a gold digger because that's who she really is, even though she was with him before

(01:21:18):
the money.
Yeah.
It's a great movie.
He's in that.
Rosie Perez is in that.
The cop that is his partner is Wendell Pierce, who went on to be in The Wire and in Treme.
The waitress is played by Bridget Fonda.

(01:21:39):
Isaac Hayes is the narrator and angel throughout the entire movie.
Stanley Tucci is in that movie.
Just a bunch of great bit actors.
And it is, trust me, on a scale of one to 10, it is not a 10.
It's more like a 5.56.
I mean, yeah, it's a romantic comedy, so it's not going to be the best movie you've ever

(01:22:00):
seen, but it's going to be a great movie.
It's a very nostalgic 90s, almost has that similar vibe of it's a wonderful life where
everything could happen and you get a chance to see, it's just a little tiny piece of New
York.
But yeah, that's one I wanted to mention.

(01:22:21):
Another one that I think that's super important to mention besides that one.
Not before we go too far.
90s romantic comedies are the fucking bomb.
So many good ones.
So many good ones.
That's a whole nother show or whatever, but you got male sliding doors, all that fucking
shit.
That stuff is, yeah.
We'd be remiss to not talk about some of the stuff that he's been doing lately.
Obviously, Long Legs has made its way through.

(01:22:44):
Oh my God.
What do you think about that?
Long Legs has made its way through our lives this year.
I got to go see it.
I loved it.
I mean, it's pretty easy for him to see it.
You'd be surprised.
I don't see that many movies.
Yeah.
I mean, you got to go to the theater or whatever.
For free?
Oh, that's right.
If I want to see it, I usually do it after hours.

(01:23:07):
I'll do a private screening.
Oh, okay.
So you'd be like, hey, put Long Legs in Auditorium 2 and we're going to watch it.
It's all on the computer and I just do it from my desk.
Oh, that's right.
You have to actually put the film on there and fucking string it up.
We're not living in fucking...
It's literally just all on a computer.
It's a hard drive.
Hit the button, walk in the theater and it goes.

(01:23:27):
Damn.
Last year, the one that kind of got my attention was Renfield, if nothing not for the stylistic
storytelling.
It's also, I think, also a remake.
I don't think it's a remake, no.
But it was written by the guy who created The Walking Dead comics.
That's what it was.
It was a tie into something else that it was something else.
But yeah, so Nicholas Cage has been blowing minds and screens audiences away for the past

(01:23:53):
40 plus years.
He's been doing things since we've been born and is currently still doing things.
So if you haven't, check out yours.
You want to give...
Let's do a quick roundabout.
Let's do...
What are your...
I'm going to go Face Off.
Con Air.

(01:24:13):
The Rock and then I'm going to throw in Pig and Mandy.
Okay.
Wait, Scary Mandy?
Oh, I haven't seen that.
Oh, it's great.
You got to see it.
You'll love it.
Is that one that's tied in with the ones that you're talking about?
No, Mandy was like 2018, I think.
They did like a lot of promo for that, right?
Yeah, it's great.

(01:24:34):
You should have to check it out.
Yeah, I should check that out.
You want to give us...
Okay, so yeah, I would say like Raising Arizona, Con Air gone in 60 seconds and the Rock in
the top four.
Yeah.
Oh wait, National Treasure.
Okay, National Treasure, Raising Arizona, Con Air and then the Rock and gone in 60 seconds.

(01:24:57):
I think this kind of flipped.
I did five.
Yeah, for five that would be...
Because National Treasure is a fucking baller ass.
Yeah, I mean, listen, I don't care if Disney's involved, that shit is awesome.
Yeah, that might be rules.
And if you're again, this is that time we're feeling patriotic, it's Olympic time, baby,
USA, USA, but like whenever it comes to...
Well, and yeah, you got to go get that thing.

(01:25:18):
And also, what does it mean?
Is it still a living document?
Are these things still inalienably our rights?
Can people take these away from us?
We've got enough time tonight to get into that.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Excuse me.
So I'm going to go...
Am I at the right podcast?
My personal five, I'm going to go...

(01:25:39):
I'm going to go Ghost Rider.
The second one is awesome.
Yeah.
And then I'm going to go probably gone in 60 seconds.
Then I'll go Con Air.
Then I'll go Face Off.
Then I'll go The Rock.

(01:26:00):
Hell yeah.
The Rock for me, I think.
Sean Connery is just...
He's a delight.
Yeah, truly.
And I think the reason...
I just can't give John Travolta a number one spot in just anything.
No.
I love Face Off.
So good.
Great movie.
Wonderful concept.

(01:26:21):
Confused the shit out of me when I was a kid because I'm like, wait.
I'm still confused.
Which one's which?
Wait, wait.
You're thinking too much about it.
Yeah.
Keya HUD.
So that has been Top 5 Nicolas Cage movies presented to you by Nicolas Cage and the Coppola
family.
Yeah.
And so if you guys have a top five, send it over to Breakfast of Champions pod.

(01:26:43):
Yeah.
Tell us all about your top five.
gmail.com, right?
Precisely.
682...
So we're going to talk a little bit about...
It's 682-294-0101.
Text it.
What were you going to say?
Give me the...
I might need a bathroom break.
All right.
Let's take a quick break.
Okay.
We'll be right back.
And high three, two, one.

(01:27:05):
We're back.
Okay.
We just had a quick little pee pee break for those of you out there that weren't here in
this room with us.
We've got a few minutes before we have a co-host that's going to take off on us, but we wanted
to kind of get into a little bit of lore on Jordan before we wrapped up.
Like I said, we've got unspelt stuff that we've done together.
And one of those instances, the song that we kind of all learned at the very beginning

(01:27:29):
and wrote together at the very beginning has a story behind it.
So we have a song, it's called EM Franklin.
And that hit single.
It's been recorded twice too, actually.
You got a Brit Robichard recording and you got Alex Boyd recording.
That's right.
So if you haven't heard that song, you can go listen to it and then you'll realize that
some of those lyrics, if you can understand them, are about violence.

(01:27:52):
And so there's a story behind that.
And so we wanted to have the official EM Franklin story told on the podcast.
Thank you very much.
So take it away.
Yeah.
So EM Franklin is a street that my buddy, Matt, used to live on and he threw a party.
I wasn't living in Austin yet at the time.
So me and a buddy of mine drove down because another friend of ours, Marcus, was and he
was going to DJ the party.

(01:28:13):
So we show up at the party.
We're having a good time.
We're partying.
Somebody made jello shots, but they didn't put them in the shots.
They just made it in a bucket and we were just eating it with the spoon.
So like I was hammered.
And OK, so it turns out one of the guests was on acid and giving people a hard time.

(01:28:35):
Like I don't say you're just like starting shit with people, talking shit, throwing beer
bottles in the street, just causing a ruckus.
And like it was a party.
Yeah, it was a fucking huge party.
But no other people were throwing beer bottles in the street and doing this kind of stuff.
So my buddy, Matt, who is non confrontational AF, well now he's a little bit more confrontational

(01:28:58):
because if you know Larry on Instagram and his burger, his persona, Larry and Ray need
to fight.
Yeah, he would definitely get up in your face now.
But back then he was a little more timid and he was like, hey, of all the people he came
straight up to me was like, I'm going to need you to handle this.
And I'm like, OK, I can do that.
So I went out there, I was like, hey, man, you know, like you need to chill out, you
know, like I know you're on acid or whatever, but like you need to chill.

(01:29:20):
And his friends are like, hey, man, you don't talk to him, you talk to me.
And I'm like, no, he's the one causing problems.
So they're like, well, if you're talking to him, you're talking to me.
And I'm like, OK, well, if you don't get your friend under control, I'm going to knock him
the fuck out and get him under control.
And they're like, you did what?
Blah, blah, blah.
And so they just kept talking shit.
So I told the guy, you know, you're going to have to leave right now.
And they're like, no, we're not leaving.

(01:29:41):
And I'm like, then, you know, like it's on.
And so I fucking just knocked this dude out down.
Like I told him acid dude or acid.
I don't fucking care if you're on acid.
Leave the fucking party or I'm going to knock you out.
So I straight just laid this dude out.
And then I got jumped by all of his friends and stomped on my glasses broken, my nose ring

(01:30:05):
ripped out of my nose.
My friend's Maddie's girlfriend crying, stop, stop, stop.
I'm just kicked in the head and shit on the ground.
So the guys did leave and it was all good.
And I ended up talking to this hot chick later that night.
So then that's part of the song.
If you listen to the lyrics closely enough, you can hear, you know, the redemption at

(01:30:28):
the redemption.
So that song is based around that fight, Ian Franklin.
And then the part that says, God, I can't even remember the lyrics now, the bass.
God damn, what are the fucking lyrics?
Oh, OK.
The bass drops and it's I can't wait.

(01:30:49):
So that part is referencing the new shoe song.
I can't wait because I remember Marcus playing that song inside and you could just hear to
do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, from the outside.
I just got my ass kicked, but I'm getting on the fucking dance floor or whatever.
But it was all good.
I was being mended by the chicks that were there.
They were after I was bloody.

(01:31:10):
They cleaned me up.
They were feeding me jello and some nose candy.
And I was going to go like an hour and a half later.
I guess it was Austin.
Yeah, this is Austin.
This is 2006.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So no, so yeah.
So I wrote that song before the before unspelled was a thing.

(01:31:30):
And I just had those lyrics and I thought, you know, when we and Renee first started
playing together, I was like, let's try this.
It worked.
It did hit single.
Yeah.
So yeah, the lore behind that was I got in a huge fight and got stomped on.
But I can't ask that.
I shut him up real quick.
I warned him, you know, whatever he probably doesn't even remember.

(01:31:51):
Pardon me.
Yeah.
So the other story we have is the last night that the crown and harp was ever the crown
and harp before it got sold.
Jordan and I were DJing upstairs and it just became a thing where like I think the owner,
him and his friends were kind of like dancing and vibing.

(01:32:13):
And it was like they realized this was it.
You know, this is like the last night that they were going to be there.
So they had told us to keep on playing.
And so it had been after two.
Yeah.
And then finally, we were just tired and realized we weren't getting paid anymore.
So it was like, OK, we'll give you an extra half hour, 45 minutes.
And then after that, we were just kind of like loading our stuff.
And then we went downstairs and there was just this huge commotion.

(01:32:35):
And so you could take it away.
OK, so I remember bits and pieces of this because obviously we were hammered or at least
I was.
So we went outside and there was all this commotion.
This dude's talking shit.
And then all of a sudden, like these dudes.
So I don't know.
I got involved because I guess like I wanted to like get into some shit or whatever.

(01:32:55):
And the next thing.
Yeah.
And the next thing I know, there's these guys like around me like, hey, hey, sleep that
fool.
Sleep that fool.
OK.
So I like pick up a rock.
I'm holding a rock.
I'm like, what am I going to do?
So the kid with the backpack is like, I got a gun in my bag.
And I was like, oh, shit.
You remember that?
Yeah.
They're like, oh, fuck, he's got a gun.
And so like then it's like, OK, how do we get these guys bag away from him?

(01:33:18):
Like before he pulls the gun out and shoots us.
So like someone gets him and grabs him.
They grab the bag and they like dump it out.
They're like, oh, they don't fucking got it here, bitch.
And then just everyone is like laughing at him and he like runs off because like everybody
disouted him.
And he's like, oh, shit.
Yeah, I'm not going to beat any of them.
It went from like treacherous to hilarious in a matter of moments.
Yeah.

(01:33:39):
Because it went from UFC to Nick Cannon wild and out.
It really was like, this guy's about to get beat down, especially like if he's like saying
that he has a gun.
I was holding a fucking rock.
I was ready to just knock this dude.
I'm like, no one's getting shot right now, motherfucker.
You know, I think that was the crazy part is that I don't think anybody was like really
taking it seriously until he said that he has a gun.

(01:33:59):
And then everybody was like, oh, hell no.
So they're like somebody just grabbed somebody grabbed him.
Somebody grabbed him.
Somebody grabbed his bag.
They let his bag go.
There was just no gun in there.
And everybody was like, hey, no, no, no laughing.
It was like this way.
We got a gun or nothing.
And he was just like, oh, yeah, it was like just left.

(01:34:20):
We went from sleep that fool.
I know.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh, God, I was just like, is this really happening?
Yeah.
Is this not is this a dream?
You know, because this is what is you just like, can we just go to talk to Cabana and
get some fucking bean and cheese tacos and get the fuck out of here?
It's always the way we're just like, we just want to eat food.
And there's like a guy with a gun coming out of a jack in the box.

(01:34:40):
God.
Right.
Yeah.
So we're going to wrap up here with Parker.
Yeah.
So put some good bets in for me.
Okay.
Bye bye.
Subscribe I影 cream右

(01:35:21):
you

All Episodes

Season 1 Episode 13 - Jordan Kline!

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang

Dateline NBC

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Season 1 Episode 13 - Jordan Kline!