Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

"How do I know if I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship?" asks a YouTube listener. 

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why even asking this question is an important sign of possible trouble. Dr Kerry will outline what emotional abuse actually looks like (hint: it's not about one-off incidents—it's about patterns) and why you might feel like you're shrinking or walking on eggshells.  Abusive relati...

Ever felt like you're the problem in your family—even when you're the one being hurt?

This week, Ágatha Peters joins Dr. Kerry to explore how cultural expectations and family loyalty create the perfect conditions for narcissistic abuse to thrive undetected. We discuss why narcissism often goes unnamed in non-Western cultures, how the scapegoat role becomes nearly impossible to escape when the entire community reinforces it...

You dodged a bullet!" No—the bullet hit me. I just survived.

This week's Fan Mail question comes from a YouTube listener who writes: 

"People tell me I dodged a bullet. But the bullet hit me—I just survived. I feel like it turned me into a monster. The PTSD caused me to start reacting more strongly to smaller triggers and even did abusive things myself in what I felt was self-defense."

In this episode, Dr. Kerry ad...

Is narcissism caused by genetics or trauma? Ever heard “narcissists act that way because of bad parenting" or “because they’ve experienced trauma?” 

This week, Dr. Peter Salerno returns to challenge everything you thought you knew about the cause of narcissistic personality disorder. We're diving into the controversial science of heritability. Why genetics matters more than psychology has been willing to admit, what it mea...

This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a Spotify listener: 

“Can you please do an episode on scapegoat children?”

Why do some people get scapegoated, especially in families? Dr. Kerry explains the role of the scapegoat and how families use this person to address systemic stress and dysfunctional. 

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If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here: 👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

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Ever wonder why you didn't see the danger coming?

This week, Dr. Leslie Dobson joins Dr. Kerry to unpack the psychological mechanisms that drive narcissistic and antisocial behavior—where they overlap, where they differ, and how they show up in relationships. We explore how predators groom their victims, why the legal system struggles to address coercive control, and the subtle tests that reveal danger long before violence occu...

Dr. Les Carter has spent decades studying narcissists, and in this retrospective, he reveals what most people miss until it's too late.

Narcissists seem so perfect at first—charming, attentive, interested in everything about you. But something felt off, didn't it? We revisit five groundbreaking conversations about what's really happening behind the mask: why they can't feel regret, how they gather information lik...

“Is the Dark Triad a real disorder—or just a dangerous type?”

This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener in Germany who writes after a recent video:

“You called ‘dark triad’ a personality disorder, but it isn’t in the DSM-5. Isn’t it a subclinical descriptor?”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry clarifies what is the Dark Triad and why we need to get better at spotting this type of personality. 

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Ever feel like you’re slowly running out of air in a “nice” relationship?

This week, Eleni Sagredos joins Dr. Kerry to unpack how coercive control hides behind charm and “preferences,” and why it’s so hard to spot until your autonomy has been chipped away. We trace the subtle dynamics that slowly worsen an abusive power imbalance. 

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“My son’s in a toxic marriage—how do we help without making it worse?”

This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener in Raleigh, North Carolina:

“My adult son is in a toxic marriage with a likely narcissist. He’s miserable, says he wants out, but stays—partly because of their three young kids. How can we support him when he shares the emotional abuse without pushing or making things worse?”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains ho...

Ever feel like you can’t find “you” anymore? That you’re second-guessing everything, going numb, or swallowing your words just to keep the peace?

This week, psychologist Dr. Shahrzad Jalali joins Dr. Kerry to unpack how long-term emotional abuse scrambles your nervous system, erodes self-trust, and leads to identity confusion—and what actually helps you get “you” back. We trace the early red flags, why we repeat familiar patterns, a...

“My abuser claims he’s ‘trauma bonded’ to me…Can that be true?

This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener on YouTube who wants to know how common it is for an abusive partner to be trauma bonded. Hers claims to be. She’s wonders if this true or if her partner is attempting to dodge responsibility. 

Submit Your Question

If you’d like your question addressed on air, send it here: 

👉 https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/fan-mail

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Has your adult child gone no contact? Cut off all communication with you? Are you struggling to figure out how to repair things with them?

There’s an alarming trend of adult children walking away from family connections called parental estrangement. Why is going no contact becoming the go-to way of handling strained relationships? And what can you do if it happens to you?

This week, psychologist and author Dr. Joshua Coleman, author ...

“Can narcissists or psychopaths ever live moral lives?”

This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener who asks: “Do you think there are some narcissists or psychopaths who genuinely try to live moral lives—perhaps guided by religion or conscience—or are they all just pretending?”

Her question was prompted by years of watching her ex, a man she believes to be a malignant narcissist, play the part of a “righteous” and religious m...

Ever wonder why you keep attracting the same kind of person—the ones who feel magnetic at first but end up draining you emotionally?

This week, therapist and author Jessica Baum, creator of Anxiously Attached and SAFE: An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building Secure Relationships, joins Dr. Kerry to explore the hidden attachment wounds that pull us toward toxic partners. 

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“How can someone seem loving for years—then suddenly turn cruel?”

This week’s Fan Mail revisits a letter that struck a nerve with listeners. A woman wrote about her daughter-in-law, who had seemed like a wonderful addition to the family for seven years—until she “suddenly turned into a monster.”

But after the episode aired, Dr. Kerry received another listener’s response who offered the opposite perspective: “I was in a 23-year marria...

Ever feel blindsided by someone who seemed charming, helpful, or even caring—only to realize later they were quietly dismantling your peace?

This week, conflict expert Bill Eddy, author of The Five Types of People That Ruin Your Life, joins Dr. Kerry to unpack the five high-conflict personality types most likely to cause chaos in relationships, workplaces, and families.

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“Why does my ex always blame me when the kids want nothing to do with him?”

This week’s Fan Mail comes from a listener in Rochester, New York, who writes about the heartbreak of watching her children pull away from their abusive father, only to be blamed for it.

Her ex insists she’s turned the kids against him, while his family defends him as “such a good man” who’s “done so much for us.”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains how emotio...

Ever feel like your relationship was the most intoxicating connection of your life—only to discover shocking lies and betrayal later?

This week, intimacy expert Gary Katz reveals how narcissists protect themselves by keeping secrets, building false connections, and manipulating trust—and why survivors are often left questioning their own instincts.

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