Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

What do you do when the evidence points to betrayal, but your partner insists you’re crazy?

This week’s Fan Mail comes from a listener in Atlanta, Georgia, who describes the heartbreak of suspecting her husband of nearly 50 years is living a double life. Despite finding suspicious phone activity and even an STD clinic reference, her husband denies everything—blaming and belittling her instead.

In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks the s...

Predators are often hiding in plain sight—and even the smartest, most capable people can miss the red flags. In this episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy talks with Sarma Melngailis, the former restaurateur whose story was told in Netflix’s Bad Vegan. 

Sarma opens up about how she was manipulated, criminalized, and misrepresented—and why her memoir The Girl with the Duck Tattoo finally tells the truth. Together, Kerry and Sarma unpack why pred...

This week’s Fan Mail brings us two powerful questions: 

• From Syracuse, New York: “The family referee took my custody and handed it over to the father who was absent for years. My children have been separated from their siblings, and I’m only allowed one hour a week of visitation. The court won’t let me present my evidence, and I feel silenced and helpless. What can I do?” 

• From Wichita, Kansas
• And from Kansas City, Missouri, a l...

Join Dr. Kerry McAvoy on Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse for real talk about toxic relationships and recovery. Mondays feature expert interviews, Thursdays bring our new Fan Mail Q&A. Get clarity, validation, and tools to heal.

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More About Dr. Kerry

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships ...

Disclaimer: This interview features perspectives from a male divorce coach navigating toxic dynamics. While some views expressed differ from those of trauma-informed psychology, I found it valuable to explore these tensions in real time. Please listen with care, and note that I challenge certain assumptions as we go. 

This week, I sit down with Josh Tomeoni, a divorce coach who shares his story of what he describes as abuse within h...

What happens when a narcissistic therapist uses their professional training against you?

This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a listener in Seattle who writes: “I dated a narcissist who was also a licensed clinical social worker. Can you talk about the weaponization of therapeutic training by narcissists?”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry unpacks how narcissistic mental health professionals can use psychology to pathologize your emotio...

Do you know what one of the most dangerous traps you can fall for? Believing that you can “fix” a narcissist’s early attachment wounds. 

In this exclusive episode, therapist and author Chelli Pumphrey explains why narcissists rarely have secure attachments, how anxious or disorganized patterns drive their constant need for supply, and why survivors’ empathy often backfires when met with exploitation.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW...

Can you really heal a trauma bond—or is the damage permanent? 

This week’s Fan Mail features two powerful questions. The first comes from a YouTube listener who asks: “Is it really possible to break a trauma bond? Even Dr. Ramani says she still struggles daily—so what’s the point of fighting, especially if kids are involved?” 

The second comes from a listener in New York, New York who wants to know: “Why do narcissists cheat—and how ...

Can you ever be “good enough” for a difficult mother? 

In this episode, psychotherapist Katherine Fabrizio, author of The Good Daughter Syndrome, reveals why empathic daughters feel trapped in cycles of guilt, exhaustion, and approval-seeking—and how to reclaim your power and identity finally. 

Tronick’s Still (Blank) Face Experiment

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW 

Find it here: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse for the ex...

This week’s fan mail dives into two powerful questions about surviving emotional abuse.

First, Dr. Kerry explores what it means when you stop crying—and why emotional shutdown can be a survival mechanism in toxic relationships. Then she tackles whether the sunk cost fallacy is really what keeps us stuck with a narcissist, or if something deeper is at play.

Submit Your Question!

If you would like your question addressed on air, please ...

Going through a custody battle or divorce with a narcissist? The you know the legal system can feel stacked against you.

This week, former family law judge and attorney Michele Locke reveals exactly how narcissists twist the truth, exploit legal loopholes, and weaponize the court process — and what you can do to outsmart them.

Whether you’re divorcing a narcissist, navigating parental alienation, or preparing for a high-conflict cust...

What do you do when you can’t just cut off a toxic person?

This week’s Fan Mail question comes from a YouTube listener who asks: “How do I stop the cognitive dissonance and self-doubt when I can’t go no-contact with a toxic person?”

In this episode, Dr. Kerry explains why cognitive dissonance is such a powerful trap in emotionally abusive relationships—especially when you’re forced to maintain contact.

Submit Your Question

If you would...

Why do so many survivors miss they’re being abuse?

In this Labor Day Special, I’m revisiting three powerful interviews that follow the journey from denial to freedom.

First, we explore how abuse often hides in plain sight, even for smart, capable people. The author I’m referencing as “he” is Don Hennessey and his book, How He Gets into Her Head. Then, we examine how cognitive dissonance keeps you stuck. Finally, we describe what late...

Is my daughter-in-law a malignant narcissist? How did she hide her worst qualities for so long?

Today, Dr. Kerry answers 2 listeners’ questions. 

The first is from New York, New York about narcissists’ public and private personas. Many narcissistic individuals create a false mask to hide their worst qualities. 

The second comes from Southern Pines, North Carolina, who wants to know more about love-bombing. 

SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION! 

If you...

What if the person you fell in love with never really existed?

In this episode, Dr. Nae — psychologist, author of Run Like Hell, and former wife of the real “Wolf of Wall Street” — exposes how master manipulators use love-bombing, mirroring, and coercive control to create a false sense of intimacy.

Learn:

•  How abusers build a fake romantic persona to hook their targets 
• Why trauma bonds are so difficult to break, even when you see ...

Welcome to our new podcast segment called Fan Mail! This is where Dr. Kerry answers your questions. 

To kick off our weekly bonus episode, Dr. Kerry is responding to a listener who writes, “He has destroyed me and my world after 16 years of marriage.” -- from Westminster California

More About the Episode

Today Dr. Kerry answers two fan mail requests:
1. "Please address abuse from a man's perspective." -Cl...

What’s the single biggest giveaway that someone lacks emotional maturity — especially when the pressure’s on?

In this episode, Dr. Les Carter, psychologist, best-selling author, and expert on narcissism and emotional health, reveals the #1 sign of low emotional maturity during conflict. We dive into how this pattern plays out in everyday disagreements, why it derails problem-solving, and what you can do to protect your own emotional...

This week, I’m pulling back the curtain on something few of us talk about—the emotional toll of surviving narcissistic abuse after the relationship ends. Healing is hard. Helping others heal while still navigating your own recovery? Even harder. In this episode, I share why I’m taking a short summer hiatus—and how you can still stay connected and supported during this time. 

💌 For Paid Substack Subscribers: Here’s What’s Ahead This...

This US holiday weekend, let’s revisit three of your favorite podcast episodes. Interestingly, they all have the same theme: why narcissistic abuse survivors initially think they’re the problem.

Clip 1 is from Season 3 Episode 64: "How mad can I make you?" The Toxic Games Covert Narcissists Play”

Video: https://youtu.be/pfU0y1ycgtg

Audio: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2150391/episodes/15052505

Clip 2 is from Seoson 3 Episode 57:...