Episode 586 - Interview with Lauren Donahue

Lauren Donahue is a dynamic force in health, wellness, and the mind-body connection, known for inspiring transformations worldwide. As the creator of Unplugged Mornings, a groundbreaking 9-step process to help individuals disconnect from chaos and reconnect with their true selves, Lauren lives and breathes adventure. She’s hiked Mount Kilimanjaro, spent 60 days living in a cave, and competed against over a million people to claim one of 50 coveted spots on NBC’s reality competition show. Lauren’s passion for movement and mindfulness led her to open and sell two fitness studios and become a certified personal trainer, group fitness instructor, and fitness model. Her online workouts have reached hundreds of thousands globally, empowering people to rewrite their stories through fitness and mindset. As the founder of Rise Wellness, Lauren now leads life-changing retreats across the globe, from domestic getaways to immersive international experiences. Her retreats often include walking the historic Camino de Santiago in Spain, where participants rediscover themselves step by step. Beyond hosting retreats, Lauren coaches aspiring leaders on how to design and launch retreats of their own, blending adventure with impact. Lauren’s work has been featured in USA Today Sports, Marie Claire Magazine, and Mind Body Green, and she’s been seen on Good Day LA, FOX, ABC, NBC Universal, E!, CBS, and Syfy. Recognized as a woman of influence in Los Angeles, she was invited to the mayor’s home to mentor young women across California. She also recently launched Laleigh Coffee, a brand inspired by her late grandfather, with proceeds supporting the Parkinson’s Foundation. Whether speaking on stages, leading retreats, or building community online, Lauren’s message is clear: every life matters, and transformation begins within. Follow her journey: Insta: @laurenldonahue Insta: @laleighcoffee Insta: @risewellnessretreats Website: www.laleighcoffee.com

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Hey, good morning, and welcome to Breakthrough Walls. I'm Ken
Walls and I'm your host, and today I have the
most technologically advanced guest I think I've ever had on
the show. I'm totally kidding. We just had a blast
but getting everything live and going here. But I have

(00:30):
Lauren Donahue on and she is a freaking rock star.
So do me a favor. Share this out with everybody
you know, put it on all social media platforms, and
let's get a bunch of people in here to hear
Lauren's story and absorb some of her amazing energy. So

(00:52):
stay with us. We will be right back, and we're back.

(01:28):
We're back. Let me bring Lauren in. Lauren, you'll have
to unmute your microphone. But Lauren, welcome to break Through Walls.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
Thank you so much, and thank you for helping me
not be such a technology dinosaur.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
Glad we can get that all sorted out.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
That was fun. That was fun. Hey, you know what,
as long as you don't give up, everything's fine.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
So yeah, we had a breakthrough before we even started.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
Right, It's amazing. So listen, I you know, I started this,
I don't know, almost six years ago. I started this show,
and it's been amazing. I started this really to help
myself for selfish reasons, and it worked. It was I'm like,

(02:22):
you know, if I hear enough other people talk about
how they got through the crap and and made it,
then maybe I'll figure it out. And I did, and
it's been so helpful for just I don't know if
it's millions of people, but certainly hundreds and hundreds and
hundreds of thousands of people have benefited from this. So

(02:46):
I'm really excited to have you on, and I want
to start with you telling everybody who's watching where you
were born and raised.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
Oh, this is my favorite question because I love it
where I'm I'm from a very small town called Valley Center, Kansas,
and I grew up there playing sports because there's not
much else to do in Kansas. Although I typically say that,
and my mom wants me to let everyone know, there's

(03:17):
a lot of beautiful things in Kansas, and she started
taking me young road trips to show me all of
the cool things. But before I thought it was just
the largest ball of twine. Now there is a few
other really cool things, and it's a beautiful place to
be from. And I also got to be raised by
my grandparents, so I'm very grateful for that. But I
come from.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
Yeah, small town with big dreams.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
Oh that's awesome. So you is that where you like
stayed like you were raised in small town Kansas.

Speaker 3 (03:49):
Yes, born and raised.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
I was there until I was twenty one, so I
grew up there. My grandpa coached me in pretty much
every single sport that you can imagine, and I actually
ended up playing basketball in college also in Kansas, after
a lot of debate on what I should do. I
had some different scholarships and I had a full ride

(04:12):
to UNLV, and my grandpa and I sat down and
had a conversation and he was like, I'm so proud
of everything that you've accomplished, and you know, and he
coached me.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
He was the reason I played basketball. And he's like,
so if you.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
Pick one of those schools in Kansas that offered you
a scholarship, I'll make sure to be at your games.

Speaker 3 (04:31):
And so that was it.

Speaker 2 (04:33):
That was all I needed to hear because my plan
wasn't to go to the WNBA and that wasn't going
to be my lifelong thing. But I knew that if
I looked up in the stands and didn't see my grandpa.
Then it wouldn't be as exciting. So I did decide
to play in Kansas, and then after that I followed
the yellow brick Road from Kansas to California and I've
been here ever since.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
And that was how old were you then? Twenty?

Speaker 2 (04:59):
I was twenty one, so it was like two thousand
and eight, two thousand and nine, and so I've been
here almost sixteen years.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
Wow, yeah, you were twenty one when you went to California.

Speaker 3 (05:10):
When I went to California.

Speaker 1 (05:12):
Did you know anybody?

Speaker 3 (05:13):
I knew Goose. I didn't know anybody.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
And that's really wild too for a small town girl
who's obsessed with her family. And all I ever wanted
to do was be with my family. I was there
at my grandparents every day and then when I lived there, obviously,
but I would have lunch with my mom all the
time when I was in college and go for walks
with them. And we have a pretty big family, so
it was a big deal. A guy from the basketball

(05:40):
team that you know, he was on the men's team,
his sister was moving to California at the same time,
so he's like, hey, you should link up with her
and one of her friends from college. So we ended
up getting a three bedroom. Mind you, I didn't even
it was sight unseen. We actually were already in the
U haul driving when I pulled over to a FedEx
and I saw the lease and faxed it over and

(06:04):
facted it, foxed it over and arrived in Venice Beach,
California for my first place to live.

Speaker 3 (06:12):
And it was quite the culture shock Venice Beach.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
Wow, I'll bet it was. So you were and you
said you were twenty one Venice Beach, which I've never
even been to Venice Beach.

Speaker 3 (06:25):
It's beautiful, but it's a sight to see.

Speaker 1 (06:28):
Yeah, I'm sure. So thank you to Mark for sharing this.
By the way, So, so, okay, you're in California. You're
twenty one. I heard that everybody if you live in California,
you're either a fruit or a.

Speaker 3 (06:45):
Nut maybe both.

Speaker 4 (06:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
So you're in California and you're I can't even imagine
that twenty one years old and you're living in CALIFORNI
what was your what? What was your What did you
aspire to do in California? Were you there to be
a movie star? No?

Speaker 3 (07:14):
I wasn't.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
I hadn't even really thought about that. So the small
backstory is that my real dad lived in Orange County, California,
and so I knew about California. That's the only reason
why of any other places, I chose California. And since
I decided to stay back in Kansas and play basketball,

(07:36):
and I hadn't really went out to explore something new
for me. In my mind, I thought, I'll just go
somewhere for a year and I'll check it out for
a year, and then I'm sure I'm going to come
home and probably do you know, pharmaceutical sales or one
of the things that people said.

Speaker 3 (07:51):
I'd be really good at, like you'd be really good
at this, so you should do this.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
But I wanted to go explore and see something I
knew what's interesting is playing sports my whole life, I
didn't to travel because we were every summer. You've got
games every single day, and there just wasn't time to
do that. But inside I knew I had a very
adventurous spirit, and I knew I wanted to see the world.

Speaker 3 (08:13):
And again, coming from Kansas, you're pretty sheltered. You don't
see a lot.

Speaker 2 (08:17):
And I didn't really grow up watching TV and things
like that, because again, we just spent a lot of
time outside, so I did want to go see the world.
So I knew that my real dad lived in Orange County.
I also didn't really have any concept of how far
away things were. So I'm like, Venice Beach cool. I'll
just see my dad every day. And it's quite a drive,

(08:37):
like some days it's you know, could be over two hours,
and I was thinking it would go ten minutes.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
So yeah, I thought I would be like, oh, I
have somebody you know to see. But anyways, what ended
up happening, which I obviously didn't know at the time,
is I really started losing my identity. I started spiraling,
started really like reaching and grasping for things outside of myself,

(09:05):
and I didn't know what it was until later when
I was about to move back to Kansas and someone
invited me to play on their co ed football league,
and so I said yes, because I'm like cool sports.

Speaker 3 (09:19):
I know that.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
And what they didn't tell me is that their team
was oh and seventy they had never won a game,
and I'm a very competitive person and our teams were
typically pretty good. So when I arrived I thought, oh
in seventy wow, Okay, here we go, and guess what,
we won the game. So of course the first game

(09:43):
and they're like, well, you have to come back next week.
And I was getting ready to move back to Kansas,
so I'm like, well, yeah, of course I can't, like,
let you guys down.

Speaker 3 (09:51):
I'll be back.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
Yeah, I'll just delay my trip home and my move home.
And so I kept playing, and I kept playing, and
then I started getting recruited by other teams in the league.
They're like, come play with us, and I was like, yeah,
you guys are better, I'm gonna.

Speaker 3 (10:04):
Complay with you.

Speaker 2 (10:06):
Until it got to the point where I was actually
building my own teams, putting my own teams together, doing
the recruiting, and what I realized is I had lost
my identity. But when I got that invitation, which I
think is so important and key for people to hear.
Sometimes it just takes one invitation to completely change your life,

(10:28):
or maybe one conversation like this one somebody hears something
that completely changes their life. And that invitation to play
in that football league changed my life. And I really
believe I'm still here sixteen years later because of that guy.
His name was Michael, and he invited me to play,
and I found purpose again, and I found joy, and

(10:48):
I found my spark and my light, and I loved recruiting.
And it was only a couple of years ago actually,
that my grandma was showing me pictures of my grandpa
with all of his teams, all the teams.

Speaker 3 (11:00):
Coach, and I'm like, that's it. I do the same thing.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
I'm a recruiter of teams, and whether that's for businesses
or for actual sports or for retreats, whatever we're doing,
I'm constantly recruiting. And he was really good at finding
the best, the best assistant coaches, the pets people to
be on the team, the best people to.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
Be the scorekeepers. He was just really good at that.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
So that was something really exciting and something that kept
me in California.

Speaker 1 (11:26):
That is a great story. So wait, was it tackle football?

Speaker 2 (11:33):
It was two hand touched, so it was as close
as you could get to tackle. There was definitely tackling
happening when people are diving with two hands and pushing
you down, clotheslining you, all the things.

Speaker 3 (11:45):
So I actually prefer that over flag football. And I'll
tell you why.

Speaker 2 (11:51):
That's because just this last year, the same thing happened
to me that happened to me sixteen years ago. I
started to lose my identity, lose purpose, not be as
excited for things, And sure enough, all of a sudden,
somebody invites me to play in their football league. And
I probably haven't played in the football league like over

(12:11):
a decade, right, I'm like, oh, that's another lifetime ago.
But of course I said yes because I'm competitive still.
I don't think that'll ever go away. And the same
thing happened. I went the team wasn't the best, and
we started winning, we started doing good, and then I
got recruited by the best team in the league, and

(12:31):
I was so excited.

Speaker 3 (12:33):
And there's a story and some lessons in this as well.

Speaker 2 (12:37):
A couple days before, I was at my osteopath and
I saw there was these hands, and there was these
hands like kind of like this, I guess if you
can see. And I remember seeing those type of hands
at my grandmother's and I believe they're probably Jesus's hands.
And so I saw that and I just got this little, oh,

(12:58):
pay attention, that's important into the hands. Then two days
later I was at an event and they had people
pulling cards, and I'm not super into pulling cards, so
I didn't know if I wanted to do it. And
then I pull the card and it's just hands, and
it's literally the exact same thing.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
Hands. It says, you.

Speaker 2 (13:14):
Knows some things are just out of your control, something
like that. Then the third one, my pastor at church
did the hands, and I thought, oh, so interesting. So
I go to play football, and what happens. Everyone's saying,
oh my gosh, look at her hands. Oh she's got hands,
hands and hands right, And I realized, Oh my gosh,

(13:35):
I'm getting so much significance from my hands because people
are like, oh, she's got good hands. And that's how
I felt like I could be seen and noticed. Oh
people will notice me if I'm good at sports and
I've got hands and I can play and things like that.

Speaker 3 (13:51):
And so what happens. I got a good lesson.

Speaker 2 (13:55):
I when I the first day I played for that
really good team, dove to grab someone's flag, broke my
finger twist it. It was like a fractured twist. I
had to have surgery. I still can't fully bend it.
This is only three months ago. But I was taken
out and so I felt like in that moment, for me,
God was like, well, who are you without your hands?

Speaker 3 (14:17):
Right?

Speaker 2 (14:18):
If you're gonna get so much significance and you feel
like that's the only way that you can be seen
and known and loved, then let's take that away and
let's see who you are without your hands right?

Speaker 3 (14:28):
Like who you are right? Your character is revealed in crisis.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
So for me, that was a major crisis because that's
where I was getting my purpose. So it was who
are you and how are you going to show up now?
So there was a lot of lessons in slowing down
and being restricted from a lot of the things that
bring me joy. But I really feel like in this time,
I've actually found myself again.

Speaker 1 (14:53):
Okay, so let me unpack this a little bit. So
you you are. I want to go back to when
you first started playing in the football league? What are
you like? Six four to forty?

Speaker 3 (15:12):
Pretty much? Very close?

Speaker 2 (15:13):
That's the best guess anyone's ever had.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
Ye'res that's hilarious. So so you said that's the best guess.

Speaker 2 (15:26):
Yeah, No, I mean, if we're going to guess how
many marbles are in the jar, you're on my team.

Speaker 1 (15:34):
So so, but I want to ask, like, were you working,
did you have a job, what were you doing? Like
you I'm assuming it wasn't medical sales.

Speaker 2 (15:47):
No, but it actually was in somewhat of a medical field,
which is interesting. When I first came out, I did
apply to a bunch of the different pharmaceutical companies and
things like that, and guess what, they all said, yes,
and they all want to hire me. Like, go figure,
because I'm sure they probably want to hire everyone. Let's
get him in, right. But then something in my spirit
again there's like this intuitive thing that I've had since

(16:09):
I was a very young girl. There's some other things
that I was intuitive about that I figured out.

Speaker 3 (16:13):
People call me Sherlock Holmes.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
That's my nickname because I will investigate and figure things out.

Speaker 3 (16:20):
Yeah, but okay, what am I telling you, Sherlock Holmes?

Speaker 1 (16:25):
Or you were working? Where were you working?

Speaker 3 (16:27):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (16:28):
So I basically said no to all of them. I
had applied for a office manager job with a holistic
acupuncture doctor that did functional medicine. And this doctor had
been in practice.

Speaker 3 (16:41):
For fifty years. He I think was close to.

Speaker 2 (16:44):
Eighty at the time, and he had his own practice
in Santa Monica.

Speaker 3 (16:48):
It was just him. So basically he.

Speaker 2 (16:51):
Ended up hiring me. And what's crazy is growing up
again playing sports. I didn't really watch what I was eating,
and because we're going from place to place in Kansas,
I ate McDonald's, Taco Bell, Wendy's Pizza Hut, and still,
you know, looks like you're in shape.

Speaker 1 (17:08):
So when R would be proud, we'd.

Speaker 3 (17:13):
Be so proud.

Speaker 4 (17:13):
Yes, but it's like back back then, when you are
running around all day long and your metabolism is good,
it's okay, it can work out for you.

Speaker 3 (17:24):
But when I.

Speaker 2 (17:25):
Got to working with him at twenty one years old,
he completely flipped my world.

Speaker 3 (17:32):
It changed my.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
Diet, the way that I slept, I mean because we
would do blood.

Speaker 3 (17:37):
Work and figure out all these different things.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
And so that was actually the biggest blessing because I
didn't plan. And again I thought, oh, I'll work for
him for maybe a year and then I'm moving home. Well,
I ended up loving working there so much because I
got to see his magic. And he had people come
in with cancer, people that came in who had infertility
and they said they'd never be pregnant, people that had
poked their whole life, and he would get them to

(18:02):
stop smoking.

Speaker 3 (18:02):
He would get.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
People to be able to get pregnant, he would people
would not have cancer anymore. So I got to see
the functional medicine side. I got to see how supplements
and acupuncture and just changing your diet could change your life.
So that was actually a blessing in disguise as well.
And he also reminded me a lot of my grandfather,

(18:23):
who was my mentor, coach, hero, best friend. So I
kind of basically moved out here and got someone that
was very similar to my.

Speaker 1 (18:32):
Grandfather in Santa Monica.

Speaker 3 (18:36):
In Santa Monica on Wilsham.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
We've been when we lived in Vegas, I said to
my wife, we on my birthday we went over to
Big Bear Resort or Lake I guess, and stayed a
night there. And I said, let's drive to La I've
never been there. And she's like really and you yeah,
And I go all right. So we drive over to
LA and we went as far as Santa Monica and

(19:02):
we went out. We went out to the pier, parked
and saw the freak shows everywhere. Yep, with our little
girl into our daughter and we.

Speaker 3 (19:14):
Go that big Yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:17):
We go all the way out to the restaurant at
the end of the pier. It's a Mexican well it
used to be a Mexican restaurant, it is, is it?
And and we had dinner out. That's so that's my experience,
will say. And then we drove back to Vegas. But so,
so when so you're doing this with this holistic doctor.

(19:38):
How long did you work there as the office manager?

Speaker 2 (19:41):
So that one year turned into six because I couldn't leave,
so I started doing other things. But I just I
enjoyed so much working with him and seeing him heal people.
To me, he was like another version of Jesus. I'm like,
people come in here and they need healing and he
does it, and that to me was just so beautiful.
So I wasn't making much money all working there, but

(20:02):
it was so rewarding and fulfilling.

Speaker 1 (20:05):
Yeah, so six years you're doing this in Santa Monica,
And where did things go for you? Because like I
read your bio and I'm like, what, she's been on
all these television shows NBC? What was the show that
you were on? I didn't catch that in your bio.

(20:27):
What was the show you ended up being on on NBC?

Speaker 2 (20:32):
So there's a couple different ones. I think that one
is yes, So that one was actually pertaining to catching Kelsey,
So Travis kelce from the Chiefs. Yeah, and it was
like a bachelor show. So it was fifty girls, one
tight end and it was eight weeks and I actually

(20:52):
ended up going to the final four on that one.
So they flew my mom out from Kansas. And what's
actually really cool is this is pre them winning the
Super Bowls and pre Travis Kelcey and Jason Kelcey playing
against each other in the Super Bowl. So on that show,
Donna Kelcey, his mom, she was there. Her and my

(21:13):
mom got along really well. But also Jason kelce was
there and there was a football game, a flag football game,
and Travis chose me on his team, so we played
against Jason. So it was kind of this really funny
thing because we won and it was almost like the
Super Bowl Travis won over Jason. But yeah, so it
was a super fun thing when they start winning.

Speaker 3 (21:36):
Because again, I'm a huge Chiefs fan.

Speaker 2 (21:38):
That's I've been that since basically I was born. So
to be on there and be a part of that
was like super cool, really fun, and I met some
of my best girlfriends on there.

Speaker 1 (21:50):
Do you know who Nick Lowry is?

Speaker 3 (21:53):
That sounds familiar.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
He's in the Kansas City Chiefs Hall of Fame as
the best kick they've ever had on the team.

Speaker 3 (22:02):
Okay, Nick the kick.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
He's a good friend of mine. Actually love that.

Speaker 3 (22:07):
Yeah, my dad would definitely know. My dad knows every
single player.

Speaker 1 (22:11):
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, Nick, this I forget. There's
so many details, but yeah, he was there a while.
It's been a while, so yeah. So so talk about
you know, you do this thing for six years. Where
did things go from there? I think that's where we

(22:33):
were when I derailed the conversation.

Speaker 3 (22:36):
Yeah, no, that's okay.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
So that was one thing that I was doing because
I played sports my whole life, it felt like the
natural thing to do would be become a personal trainer.
So I right away got my personal training and group
fitness training certifications. I started training people on the beach
in Santa Monica, very close to where you went to
the Santa Monica Peer So that's something I was also

(22:57):
doing on the side. And typically in California, you don't
have one job, you have ten, so you do lots
of different things. You have to make it work and
to be to really if you're coming out here when
you're young, to make it work, to be able to
pay the rent, just the high prices of everything. I
think I remember going from having a house, like a

(23:20):
three bedroom house in Kansas that I, you know, with
my roommates that I played basketball with, and I think
our rent was six hundred dollars or something total for
all of us, and then out here it's like thirteen
hundred dollars per person on the low end when you
first move out here. So yeah, you had to find
things to make it work. You have to get very

(23:41):
gritty and have a lot of resilience, and you get
told no a lot out here where you're kind of
used to. If you come from a small town, usually
you do well, you get the things that you want.
Things are a little bit easier. So yeah, you have
to really work hard and do everything that you can
to make it. And there was so many times where

(24:02):
I thought I was going to move back to Kansas, which.

Speaker 3 (24:04):
Would have been fine.

Speaker 2 (24:05):
Right at the time, you think you'd be a huge failure,
but then I'm like, that'd be super cool.

Speaker 3 (24:10):
I missed my family, so so I was doing a
few different things.

Speaker 2 (24:14):
I was doing the training and then eventually I became
a project manager for a company called F forty five
and they were born in Australia and they had not
come to the US yet, so they were looking for
someone to help them bring F forty five to the US.

Speaker 3 (24:32):
So I ended up doing that.

Speaker 2 (24:34):
Our friends in Solina, Ohio opened the first F forty five.

Speaker 1 (24:39):
That's where I'm from. Oh really, well not Solina, But
that's crazy. You just said that, because like we live
in Salina, Texas, Okay. Now, like that's literally where my
house is, and like Solina, Ohio is right outside of Lima, Ohio, Okay,

(25:00):
which which is where I grew up in that area.
So yeah, that's crazy.

Speaker 3 (25:04):
I love that. Well I was in Salina, Kansas a
week and a half ago with my family.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
But yeah, so they did that, and then what we
decided to do to sell franchises was to do a
big event.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
So that's kind of also my background. So we've been there.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
I've always been hosting events and retreats and things like that.

Speaker 3 (25:26):
So I'm like, let's do it big.

Speaker 2 (25:28):
Let's do a big event at the US Open of
Surf in Huntington Beach, California. Let's get ten thousand people there,
and let's sell a bunch of franchises. So by this
time we had opened n F forty five and Henderson, Nevada,
and so I started flying athletes and influencers into Hinderson

(25:49):
for them to check out the studio to check out
the fun fitness tests.

Speaker 3 (25:53):
And things that we do.

Speaker 2 (25:55):
And then we did the big event in Huntington and
we had all the athletes come through. I think we
had like one hundred thousand dollars prize for the winner.
So it'd be this imagine like a train box car
rig turned into a fitness test and there's ten exercises
and you go through it as fast as you can
and then yeah, so you have a winner at the end.

(26:16):
But we sold a ton of franchises, and then in
that I realized, oh, I've been a trainer for a
long time, I'm in business. Maybe I should open some
F forty fives myself. So I ended up opening one
in Venice Beach, California, and the Pacific Palisades and so yep,
so had those studios for a few years and then

(26:38):
ended up selling my ownership to my partners to then
go out fully on my own.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
And that's when you know.

Speaker 2 (26:45):
Since then, I've been full time with wellness retreats and
retreat coaching.

Speaker 1 (26:52):
Good Lord, have mercy. You are you are a busy bit.
I'm getting tired just listening all the stuff you do.
I'm kidding, so I'm sure it does. So you So
you're I mean you're You're a hustler. You hustle and

(27:14):
I love that about you. What are some of the things,
you know? I love asking about imposter syndrome because I think,
you know, most people are walking around telling themselves a
story about themselves in the world and life, and and unfortunately,

(27:37):
I think that a lot of those stories they're telling themselves,
like doctor Joe Despends, it talks about you know, they're
they they are holding them back from taking chances, taking risks.
It sounds like you're not. You're here, you certainly are
not afraid to take a chance, it seems. So talk

(28:00):
talk a little bit about that, the impostor syndrome that
you've experienced, how you've overcome it. I love the im
statements on the wall. I have a book that I
wrote about that. Actually, yeah, this time, so you know,
I just talk about how you've overcome that impostor syndrome.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
Yeah, well, this is a great question, and I would say,
you know, you said it seems like I'm not afraid.
I'm definitely afraid, and I definitely have imposter syndrome.

Speaker 3 (28:28):
But I'll say something that changed my life.

Speaker 2 (28:30):
The first retreat I ever attended, it's probably twelve fourteen
years ago, was in Big Sur, California, and there was
twenty of us. We were all complete strangers, none of
us knew each other, and after spending twenty four hours together,
one of our first exercises was to go up to
each so the other nineteen people, and they would say

(28:53):
one word that they think of when they think of
you or the experience of you, and then you'd do
the same. And I don't know what the odds of
this are, but all nineteen people said the same word.
And there's a lot of words that people could choose
right to describe someone, all nineteen and if that's not
a like, hey, pay attention, listen right, But as each

(29:17):
of them said that word, I kept thinking, Wow, I'm
such a fraud.

Speaker 3 (29:21):
Well fake it till you make it. Wow, I'm really
good at pretending. Right.

Speaker 2 (29:25):
The whole imposter syndrome like this can't be. This isn't
who I am. Why would they all think this? And
that word was confident. The word was confident, and I'm like,
i am not confident.

Speaker 3 (29:38):
I'm scared.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
My armpits are sweating, like I am nervous. But like this,
how like why would these people think this? So then
fast forward probably six years after that, I'm at an event,
a conference, and I'm paired up with six women that
one was men and women, and we are exercises to
go around to a one minute talk. It could be anything,

(30:00):
inspirational talk, just share about your life, whatever, and then
everyone's going to write down one word that they think
of when they think of you. After your talk, all
of those women wrote confident. And I'm like, okay, we're
done here. This is like I'm getting punked. Someone is
like tricking me, messing with me. How did they know
that this happened to me before? This is wild?

Speaker 3 (30:22):
So I told.

Speaker 2 (30:23):
Them and I was like, I'm not confident, I'm scared,
I'm nervous, I can barely do it right. You know
all these things, and one woman said, this is what
changed my life. When are you going to start believing
that you are the way.

Speaker 3 (30:37):
That you show up in the world.

Speaker 2 (30:40):
When are you going to start believing that you are
the way that you show up in the world to others, Because.

Speaker 3 (30:44):
How you show up to others is how they experience you.

Speaker 2 (30:47):
And that's it, right, Like if you show up late everywhere,
but you don't think you're late, but everyone experiences you
as that way, you're late.

Speaker 3 (30:54):
Right, So it's like you might want to pay attention.

Speaker 2 (30:57):
So anyways, from that moment on, I realized, oh oh,
I realized you can be afraid, you can be scared,
you can be nervous.

Speaker 3 (31:05):
But when you do it anyway, that is confidence.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
Right when you are nervous to show up on the stage,
when you're nervous to show up on the live or
on the Instagram or to a date or anything, right,
but you do it anyways, like you don't let fear
actually stop you.

Speaker 3 (31:20):
And I remember this too, and there was this quote.
Of course, I would choose this quote.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
To have on my desk that I read every single day,
and I thought that I got it.

Speaker 3 (31:30):
I thought that I got it.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
Which was everything you've ever wanted is on the other
side of fear. But I didn't get it because in
the past, when anything was fearful, I would turn around,
reverse or back it up, and I was out of there,
like I am not going that way right. But once
I got this whole thing about confidence and showing up,

(31:52):
then when I would see fear, I saw it as
my north star saying, Hey, everything you've wanted is on
the other side, come this way. And so I started
following the fear and making fear my friend. And then
the most important thing is I just showed up right.
And it wasn't about being perfect. It's like the done
is better than perfect. Just show up to show.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
Up, correct. I love that. I think, you know. I mean,
I know some amazing people, including you now, but I
look at I've heard Grant Cardone, who's a billionaire. I've
heard him him say it like he's it's always funny.
He's like, man, I wake up scared every day of

(32:35):
my life. Like you know, I'm like, you what. But
that's the difference is people are people who make it. Yes,
I don't know if that's the right word or not,
but people that that win more in life than you
know the people sitting on the sidelines judging the winners. Yeah,

(33:00):
those people are afraid. You're afraid we're afraid. We are afraid,
but we do it anyway.

Speaker 3 (33:08):
Yeah, right, because you want to meet your edge. Right.

Speaker 2 (33:11):
If I'm not doing things or helping me meet my edge,
then I'm not having growth spurts. I'm not growing and
expanding like this has to stretch me for me for
me to be able to go to the next level. So,
knowing that I want to constantly be growing and expanding,
I have to meet some edges.

Speaker 3 (33:28):
And if I'm all of a sudden not afraid.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
And I'm not anxious to do these things, then for me,
it means I don't care. Because when I get anxious
and nervous, I'm like, oh, I really care about this.
I really want to do a good job and show
up for this person or opportunity. And so for me,
if I started not caring and it was just easy,
I would have to take a pause and check in

(33:51):
with myself on where I was really at and if
I was putting myself in the rooms that are going
to expand me.

Speaker 3 (33:57):
And that's why I always like to.

Speaker 2 (33:59):
Be in the rooms with the people that are so
much smarter than me and have those conversations because I
really want to Every single day, I want to grow
and be better.

Speaker 1 (34:10):
I'm so impressed with you. By the way, thank you
to my friends on X We have over twenty four
hundred people watching us live right now on X.

Speaker 3 (34:20):
I love that. I love that. Hi everyone, make.

Speaker 1 (34:23):
Sure make sure you give Lauren a follow and follow
me while you're at it. But so, Lauren, what is
it that you know? I think I talk a lot
about this too. You have to have something that gets
you out of bed in the morning. Some you know,

(34:49):
there's the purpose driven life. A lot of people, you know,
talk about purpose, purpose, purpose. I think it's it's probably
more than just purpose. What is it for you? What
is it that makes you get up and go in

(35:09):
the mornings?

Speaker 2 (35:10):
Yeah, there's a couple things. So you had mentioned what
show were you on? The first show that I was
on UH in twenty fourteen, I believe was a show
where I ended up living in a cave for sixty
days and talk about lessons, talk about lessons, yes, And

(35:32):
what's funny about that whole thing is how I ended
up on that show is someone from my co ed
softball team. So I mentioned football, But after that I
joined a softball league, a basketball league, volleyball league. Anyways,
so someone from my co ed softball league anonymously submitted
me to this show, saying that Lauren needed somewhere to
unleash her inner competitive nature dot dot dot not on

(35:55):
the co.

Speaker 3 (35:56):
Ed softball team.

Speaker 2 (35:58):
So to this day that is still an anonymous person.
I do not actually know who submitted me for the show,
and I think because it ended up being so intense
and I came back emaciated. I'd lost thirty pounds. I
looked like a corpse and it took me a year
to recover.

Speaker 3 (36:15):
So whoever that was was like, oh, I don't think
I realized what was going to happen there. So they
have not admitted it.

Speaker 2 (36:23):
I have my suspicions on who potentially, But anyways, that
landed me in the cave, and I feel like, sometimes
you have to go into a dark cave literally physically
metaphorically in your life to see the light again and
to learn the things that you need to learn.

Speaker 3 (36:43):
And a couple of those things.

Speaker 2 (36:45):
One that was massive because we were actually stripped of
everything that we own before and blindfolded and then we
entered this cave.

Speaker 1 (36:55):
Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait hang on,
was this a cave like tucked in the side of
a mountain off the Santa Monica pier It in an
ancient China.

Speaker 2 (37:10):
Yeah, you know, I definitely would have preferred those options,
to be honest, because it was It was actually in
a cow pasture in the middle of Louisiana.

Speaker 1 (37:23):
Are you serious?

Speaker 2 (37:25):
Yeah, because they built so they built a cave and
it was actually it ended up they said it was
called The Fierce Competitor, but it ended up being called
Opposite Worlds.

Speaker 3 (37:36):
So it was a huge.

Speaker 2 (37:37):
Social experiment where half of us were living in the past,
which was the cave, the other half were living in
the future, and then the present is where we would
come out and have these worldly duel of destinies where
you would fight for your destiny and fight for your world.
So the people in the future lived in a very
futuristic house that they could talk to and order filet

(38:00):
mignon and raspberries and champagne and massages and take baths
and all these amazing things. And yet we were in
this cave. But here's the kicker. We were separated by
a glass wall, so we could see everything that they
had that we didn't, and of course they could see everything,
but that didn't really bother them seeing everything over there.

(38:23):
We were in the dirt, like in this cave that
honestly would have been better if it was a real
cave that we could have entered and exited when we
wanted to, but we were actually locked in there whenever
we weren't filming.

Speaker 3 (38:36):
So it was pretty bizarre to go from.

Speaker 2 (38:39):
Like a very active person to like a just sitting
person for that long of a time, and you didn't
know what time it was, what day it was. When
it got light, you would wake up, when it got dark,
you went too sleep. It was very primal, I will
say it was very primal. But yeah, we so we
were stripped of all things. They you know, took our

(39:02):
suitcases and phones and you know, they took everything, and
they actually blindfold us and changed us into outfits that
were like cave outfits.

Speaker 3 (39:08):
I think I was wearing some squirrel skin as a top. Yes, yes,
oh my, it was bizarre.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
I honestly thought we ended up on naked and afraid
or like a punked. I thought someone was punking me. Again,
I'm like, what have I done? But yeah, so that's
what we happened. And so that first lesson that I
got was we don't own anything in this life. It's
all borrowed everything, my grandparents, my parents, my car, my clothes.

(39:41):
It was just like when you're stripped of every worldly possession,
you actually realize how quickly, in the blink of the eye,
the snap of the finger, those things can be taken away.
And people in California experienced that recently with the fires, floods,
all of these there's natural disasters, but then also just
you know, during twenty twenty and just lost in general.

Speaker 3 (40:01):
Right, this is happening all the time.

Speaker 2 (40:03):
And so when I really got that, I thought about, like,
oh man, when when I borrow things from people, I
like to give them back in as good or better condition,
Like if I can you know, if I say, at
someone's place, I'll get a cleaner. If I, you know,
borrow their car, get it cleaned. If I borrow their clothes,
I'm gonna take them to the dry cleaners. Things like that,
where I'm like, well, what if I thought about that
with my parents and my grandparents, my like our relationships

(40:27):
and the time, if I just thought this is all borrowed,
it could be taken away in the blink of an eye,
how would I treat it.

Speaker 3 (40:32):
How would I show up? And it also removes that hole.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
I own this, this is mine, and you're so worried
and you class so tightly and don't want to lose anything, right,
and it's just like I want to hold on to everything.
But it's in that release that we can really receive.
Right when you actually release, then go back to those
hands from the beginning. When I release, I can actually
receive at the football as well. If my hands are open,

(40:56):
it's gonna be a lot better to catch.

Speaker 3 (41:00):
There's a lot of plays we could go with that.

Speaker 1 (41:03):
You have way better receiver.

Speaker 3 (41:05):
Yeah, you can just take that so many places.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
But the other thing in there another vision, and this
answers your question about what wakes me up in the morning.

Speaker 3 (41:17):
This lesson this vision that I saw about outlets. So
in the cave, there were zero outlets, nothing that you
could plug into.

Speaker 2 (41:26):
So if I just think about my room right now,
my computer's plugged in, my phone's plugged in, my three fans,
yes I call them my biggest fans, and I cannot
sleep without them. I have to have the noise all
of that, have lights plugged in. I have a straightener
to do my hair. I have you know my little
fireplace over here. We just imagine all of the things

(41:47):
in your life that you plug into on a daily
basis that you think you need to survive, because quite literally,
I would travel with my fan. I have a smaller fan.
I would put it in my suitcase. I travel with it.
I show up if I'm staying the night with someone
with my fan in hand. I was like, I can't
survive without my fan. I will not be able to.

(42:08):
I won't be able to survive without my nutrable and
my smoothie and my coffee.

Speaker 3 (42:11):
In the morning. Right. None, we had none of that
in the cave.

Speaker 2 (42:15):
No coffee you hold, no fan, no coffee, no fan,
no no no smoothie, no nourishment in general.

Speaker 3 (42:23):
I told you I lost thirty pounds.

Speaker 2 (42:26):
So I was like, wow, like we plug into so
many things on a daily basis. But then it took
me back to like when I was twenty one also
when I said I was spiraling and lost my identity
and I'm plugging into maybe relationship after relationship or alcohol
or retail therapy and sometimes for people to you know, sex, drugs,

(42:47):
like all the things. Right, So I'm just thinking, Wow,
what are all of these things that we plug into
literally and figuratively that for the most part, only bring
temporary plays.

Speaker 3 (43:00):
Sure, it's not long term.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
It's not that long term sustainability gain that you're looking for.
And so in this vision, I imagined myself unplugging from
every external outlet that I had ever plugged into for
this like temporary comfort, right, And I unplugged them all
and I plug them all in to me, my internal source,

(43:26):
and in that moment, everything in.

Speaker 3 (43:30):
My life actually made sense.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
It's like a movie played backwards to show me and
connect all the dots. That's why that relationship failed, That's
why you moved across the country. That's why that job
didn't work out. That's why you lost five hundred thousand
dollars in that investment. Right, that is why this all
of the things that we think we want so bad
again that we're grasping and holding on to and trying
to control the outcome.

Speaker 3 (43:52):
And it was like no, like.

Speaker 2 (43:55):
Release, Like all the answers that you that ever were
or ever will be are within you right now, and
what you need to do is get quiet and get
still so you can hear. And that's what happened in
the cave, I could hear because I was very still,
I wasn't moving, I was very quiet. There wasn't a

(44:15):
lot going on in there, and so for the first
time in my life, I could really hear the answers
that I was seeking, and I, in that moment knew,
I want this for other people. I want them to
be able to have this, and I don't know how
I'm going to create this, but this needs to happen.

Speaker 3 (44:33):
And so in the cave.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
One of the girls who was in the cave is
my best friend today, and go figure. We spent all
that time together, but we also planned to do a
bunch of unplugged things afterwards. So we planned to hikee
Killimanjaro and like, hey, we're not going to have our phones,
We're just gonna hip killiman Jarro unplugged and be there
and be present and be where our feet are. And
she has a whole story of miraculous healing that happened

(44:58):
to her while we were doing that.

Speaker 3 (45:01):
And so then what happened after that I started.

Speaker 2 (45:04):
I really for the first year when I got back,
I didn't even take my phone to meet people out
if they just weren't at the restaurant. When they said
they were going to be there, I'd wait a little
bit and I'd leave, like because they couldn't tell me they.

Speaker 3 (45:13):
Were going to be late.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
So I wasn't worried about when my phone was dying,
like reaching for a finding a charger really quickly. I
just really didn't think about it. I left my phone everywhere,
hold it, hold.

Speaker 1 (45:25):
You quickly skated past the kil a monchara thing like wit. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:33):
Well, we figured if we could live in a cave
for sixty days, we could do anything. So we were
thinking of all the things we wanted to do when
we got out of there that would be I honestly,
it was so much better. It was easier doing killing
Njarro than living in the cave for sixty days.

Speaker 1 (45:51):
Okay, so you climbed all the way to the top.

Speaker 2 (45:55):
We made it to the top, and actually we started
there was three hundred people that started. There was only
three of us friends, but three hundred people that started
at the same time, and it was my friend Jess
and Sam and we were the first three to every
single stop. So basically we wouldn't stop for lunch when
everyone did, and we talked our guides into letting us
keep going because we would rather like get there and

(46:17):
then relax and eat than like stop. So we were
the first people and we were also the first people
to the summit on summit day, so we started like, yeah,
out of three hundred, but our guide so most people,
which at this point in my life I probably would
have to take the oxygen too, but most people would
take the oxygen because it is like nineteen thousand, three

(46:39):
hundred thirty three or thirty six feet.

Speaker 3 (46:42):
But we were.

Speaker 2 (46:43):
Like, hey, we're doing pretty good. I don't think we
want to do the oxygen. And we asked him if
we could start a little bit so that last day,
you finish your other hike at like four in the afternoon,
eat dinner, take a nap, and then we started hiking
for the summit at ten pm, So we hiked overnight
from time ten pm, so we got up there right
before sunrise. We didn't want to be in like a

(47:04):
line behind people or anything, so we're like, we'll start earlier.
So we did that and we made it to the top.
I mean, I'm telling you, I'm not acting like this
was easy. We weren't talking to each other at you know,
the last part and I remember thinking I'm gonna die,
like if I take one more step, and I'm like,
I should just sit down for a second, which they
won't let you.

Speaker 3 (47:24):
You don't sit down.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
Because you don't get back up if you sit there
and you don't have oxygen. Yeah, if you don't have
oxygen and you just sit down up there and try
to stay for extended period, because once you sit down
in your body physically it does not want to get
back up.

Speaker 3 (47:40):
So we couldn't sit down.

Speaker 2 (47:42):
But I thought I'm at a snail's pace, you know,
we're just like one foot in front of the other.
I'm like, and it's like that life lesson too, of
like you'll eventually get to the destination if you just
keep taking one step at a time, no matter how
slow you're going, Like, just keep taking one step, one step.
And I it was after the fact that I asked
my friend Sam, I'm.

Speaker 3 (48:02):
Like, were you struggling, And she's like, oh, I thought
I was going to die. I was like, okay, good,
like at least we were like but like we were
going to die.

Speaker 2 (48:10):
Yeah, I wasn't alone, but we were so in that moment,
like so low on oxygen, so exhausted. We couldn't even
talk to each other. And we were right there, you know,
we were right next to each other, but there was
no words coming out. So it's like, you get to
the top and I think we could maybe stay twenty
minutes before they were like you gotta go. And we

(48:30):
had these shirts we made that said why not. So
we like hold up our shirts, but all you can
see is like our eyeballs were like you know in
all these you know, clothes and.

Speaker 3 (48:38):
Jackets and everything.

Speaker 1 (48:39):
Oh because it was cold.

Speaker 2 (48:42):
Yeah, yeah, yep. I almost lost my big toe because
of that. So yep, they told me that I was
going to have to actually get it removed a big time.

Speaker 1 (48:53):
Have you ever have you ever thought about getting some
sort of professional help?

Speaker 2 (49:00):
You know, I'm like, I am a crazy adventure junkie,
and I think maybe I didn't get to get this
all out when I lived in Kansas for twenty one years.
Maybe I was just like the sports didn't do it.
It wasn't crazy enough for me.

Speaker 1 (49:14):
Wow, that is unbelievable. I mean, it's it's really amazing.
You were talking a little bit ago about the you know,
you've got this ability in the cave. You learned unplug
and and you know, I talk a lot about this.

(49:36):
I've meditated every single day of my life for the
last twenty two years. It's amazing, sociable. It's first thing
I do every morning. And there's this amazing book. I
don't know. It sounds like you probably have read it,
but maybe not. It's called Power Versus Force.

Speaker 3 (49:53):
I haven't.

Speaker 1 (49:54):
It's so good. It's all about kinesiology, and you know,
I'm to give it a horrible summary, but you know
he talks in the book about what you were just saying,
and that is that universally, when we whenever we try
to force anything anything, we universally we're going to create

(50:20):
resistance to that thing, whatever it is. Right, true power
comes from surrender. Just surrender. You know, plan your plans,
let God plan the results. You get people that are
so like I got to have that, and they get
that pitbull and I've got that, like, no, I gotta

(50:42):
have it. But you know, like when I see that
there's a lot of resistance, I just go, Okay, God,
this is yours. I surrender. I give up. You win,
you know, which is what you were kind of talking about.

Speaker 3 (50:56):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (50:57):
Yeah, that's a massive poss sure of surrender for sure,
because you don't know what's going to happen. But I
love what you were just saying because I just was
talking to a friend the other day and this was
pertaining to relationships. But I was saying to her, you
can't force forever, you know, like it's if it's meant
for you, it won't pass you by. And when you

(51:18):
really surrender it and you don't try to control it,
the right things will happen. Right, And so just like
not forcing what's not for you, And yeah, I think
to what you're just saying, and in all those cases,
it is definitely a posture of surrender and answering your

(51:39):
question on what wakes me up? Now, after that experience,
I was actually on a run unplugged, and I kind
of thought back to that word unplugged and my Grandpa
always would come up with different like acronyms and stuff.
I think that's how I got through school memorizing all
this stuff my Grandpa would help me with. But I

(52:00):
was like, what, how could I get people to wake
up in the morning and really ditch their devices, like
right before they plug back into the world. How could
I get them to plug into themselves first and really
start focusing on their outlook in life versus all of
the outlets in life. And I'm like, okay, well, I

(52:22):
can't tell them to go live in a cave for
sixty days or hike Killemanjarro which go do those eggs
if you want to.

Speaker 3 (52:28):
But what is.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
Something that is sustainable, attainable that they can do every
single morning when they first wake up. And I used
the word unplugged, and I came up with a nine
step practice to help people really disconnect or reconnect back
to their true self, but again focus on their outlook
and not their outlets. And it's something that can be
done in nine minutes, or you can spend an hour

(52:51):
or if you have four hours, however long you want
to spend on your morning and routine. But it really
is what gets me up in the morning because I
am so excited to get into that because it includes
connecting with source, includes silence and gratitude and journaling and.

Speaker 3 (53:08):
Writing handwritten letters. Because again, everything is unplugged. So even
if you were going to do music, it would need
to be a guitar that you're playing right, something that
you really don't have to plug into But what I
realized from that is when we fill ourselves up first
with beautiful things and love and abundance, then we can
serve from the overflow, because something's going to pour out

(53:30):
of us, right and we want that to be good
stuff that's pouring out onto others. And we want to
be so full that we're really serving from the overflow
and not from a half empty tank or an empty tank.
And what I see now is that people are more responsive.
They respond with love versus react.

Speaker 2 (53:52):
And so if you wake up and you first grab
your phone and see a text and maybe you forgot
to do something, you'll react, well, don't you know how
busy I am and what's going on? Or you'll see
an email and it'll you know, dysregulate your nervous system
or send you into a panic, or.

Speaker 3 (54:06):
You'll have anxiety. But if you fill up first, and
you're reading, and you're journaling, and.

Speaker 2 (54:11):
You're having your water and just different things, then when
you go to respond to the same exact text or email,
it's going to be with love, and it'll you know,
say something more like thank you for your patience and understanding,
thank you for your grace and flexibility and I'll get
to that, you know. So things like that, I just
I find that it's something I'm so excited to wake

(54:35):
up in the morning because of, oh, what am I
going to get to read today?

Speaker 3 (54:38):
Or what you know in my journaling, what's going to
come through?

Speaker 2 (54:42):
And usually that sets the tone for not just my day,
but my week, my months, my year, my life. So
that is what wakes me up in the morning. And
a lot of that does have to do with purpose,
Like you mentioned being excited for things, but I'm literally
excited for my morning routine.

Speaker 1 (55:00):
I think I can tell I can tell that you are.
I'm like that too, I you know, I don't know,
I you know, I sip coffee in between my my
moments of meditation. I'll meditate for a while, stop, take
a big gulp of coffee, and and then meditate a

(55:23):
little more. And and so I think that the other
thing is, you know, the relentless pursuit of perceived perfection.
I think that that there's a lot of people on

(55:44):
this planet that, especially in the United States, but that
that want everybody else to believe they're perfect and they're okay,
and and and they have as a result, I think
a lot of people you know have a problem with
letting go of their errors, right, because you were just

(56:05):
talking about that, yep. And so you know, one of
the things I try to do with myself in meditation
also is give myself grace like I would a little
six year old child. Just give myself some grace. Yeah,
do you practice that? I feel like you probably do.

Speaker 3 (56:27):
Well.

Speaker 2 (56:28):
This is a great question for me because I think
I will always be a recovering perfectionist, and growing up
I think it probably has to do with maybe growing
up in a small town or my grandfather just I
wanted him to always be proud of me, and he
was right. It wasn't like he had, you know, ever
said anything that wasn't But because of that and maybe

(56:50):
it was just within me. I have no idea, but
I had a four point oh gpa I had I got,
you know, in middle school. I never got to be
in high school. I never got to be in college
Magna Cumlada valedictorian, all the things right and playing sports
captain of the team. So I really got my validation
and significance from achievement, from being really good at things

(57:12):
and quote unquote in my mind, being perfect, Like I
could not mess up, and for example, I would spend
I would be up all night.

Speaker 3 (57:20):
So here's the thing. I was not a genius.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
Okay, it was very hard for me to get the
four point zero, get the a's and things.

Speaker 3 (57:27):
It did not come easy.

Speaker 2 (57:28):
I had to be studying in the books all of
those things. And I would even sometimes stay up all
night studying for something. And in the morning, if I
did not feel ready for the test, I would cry.
And sometimes I would stay home from school, like stay
home sick from school because I didn't feel ready yet.

(57:48):
And so that carried on with me after school, of
still needing to be perfect and get everything right and
so on the outside. So for everybody on the outside
looking in, Lauren's perfect.

Speaker 3 (58:02):
She's really good at everything. She always gets what she
wants like all that.

Speaker 2 (58:06):
Inside, I'm dying because it's such a struggle.

Speaker 3 (58:10):
It's so hard.

Speaker 2 (58:11):
And the reason it seems like I'm good at everything
is because I only do the things I know I'm
going to be good at. So I'm playing it safe,
like very very very safe. Right, So I would play
the sports I knew I was good at. I would
do sign up for the classes I knew I was
good at things like that where I could fulfill that.
And so it wasn't until I had this realization that

(58:33):
this is so not healthy, this is not good, that
I actually started taking the bigger risks and failing. And
I even gave myself I thrive on challenges, So I
gave myself a challenge to get rejected.

Speaker 3 (58:47):
I call it the rejection challenge.

Speaker 2 (58:49):
And I just started doing all these things where I
felt like I would be rejected, whether it was talking
to someone, sending an email, sending.

Speaker 3 (58:57):
A proposal, you know, things like that.

Speaker 2 (59:00):
And eventually I started to become numb to the know
where it didn't impact me as much, it didn't crush
my soul.

Speaker 3 (59:07):
I didn't feel less than or unworthy.

Speaker 2 (59:11):
And it wasn't until I started taking the big risks
that I started getting big rewards like that, really cool
things started happening, and I started companies and sold companies
and all of these things. It wasn't until I was
really willing.

Speaker 3 (59:25):
To risk it all and not be perfect.

Speaker 2 (59:28):
And I know we said earlier done is better than perfect,
just show up. I really have to hold on to that,
and I also really have to, like you said, give
myself grace because that little girl is still in there
that needs everything to be perfect and need to achieve,
to be seen and all of that. And I have
to be aware of that part of me and when

(59:49):
she decides to show up, which she could show up today,
right there's you know, if I don't get enough sleep
or do my morning routine or have my nourishment, that
part wants to show up and run the show. Oh
and I don't want that to prevent me from moving
forward with something, submitting, something hitting sind do the post.

Speaker 3 (01:00:09):
All of that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
I have to remind myself constantly that in reality, we're
never going to be perfect, and we are born worthy
and deserving.

Speaker 1 (01:00:20):
I'll never forget when I had, you know, I interviewed
Grant cardon the day after he finished Undercover Billionaire and
he's been a friend of mine since twenty fourteen. But
I said to him, I had no idea he was
doing Undercover Billionaire because he was literally undercover. And so

(01:00:44):
I said to him, I said, because I always, like,
I like to believe that it's never too late, like
you can always make a change. You can. And I said, well, Grant,
you know it's not. I mean, the reality is is
it's not too late. I mean people maybe be sixty
seventy years old, they can still I mean, it's not

(01:01:04):
too late, right, And he goes, I don't know, it
might be, and I was like, shit, that's not the end.
That's not what I wanted to hear. Dude, what are
you talking about? It might be, you know, but if
you think about it, like, how many people we all
have an expiration day, We all have a day that

(01:01:27):
and we don't not one of us knows what that
day is, right, So why are you living your life
like you have tomorrow? You may not, right? And so
so how many I mean, say yes to the date,
say yes to the start saying yes more. You know,

(01:01:48):
my best friend in the world is Glenn Moore Shower,
very very famous actor, and I talked to him just
right before our show. We were texting, and you know,
him and I have a thing where, no matter what,
if he calls me or I call him and either
one of us need something from the other, the answer

(01:02:08):
is yes, period, It doesn't matter what it is. If
he said, can I need you to get on a
plane and fly to Vancouver and pick me up. Yes,
I'm on my way, Ken, I need you. You know
whatever it is, and vice versa. And I think too
many people are living life like, man, I got another
six months to figure this out. No, you don't get busy, right.

Speaker 2 (01:02:33):
Well, I think there's two contradicting things, because so many
people are telling you you've got time, don't worry, you've
got time. You'll figure But then there's the quote, and
I think it's Buddha. It's correct me if I'm wrong,
but it says, the problem is you think you have time.

Speaker 1 (01:02:47):
Yes, right.

Speaker 2 (01:02:48):
The problem is you think you have time, and you
shelve things and you put them off and for some day,
right and someday might never come. And I just was
telling you a friend recently as well. I said, you
know what, we've got it up our surroundings, like love
where you live, Like go for a walk around your neighborhood,
love your coffee shop, work in your clubhouse, do these things,

(01:03:08):
and like soak up everything, like every single minute that
we're blessed to.

Speaker 3 (01:03:12):
Have because we do not know what tomorrow is.

Speaker 2 (01:03:15):
So like you said, hit send, write the email, do
the things, because I live by the quote.

Speaker 3 (01:03:21):
The problem is you think you have time, and show the.

Speaker 1 (01:03:27):
Bottom line is you may not. I mean, well, you
don't period like, you don't like not not one of
us like we don't again, and we live under this
illusion that that here, this is this Tom Gin said it.
We we live in a culture of illusions. And I

(01:03:51):
think the biggest illusion that most people are living under
is that I don't think, I said, I think since
our spirit, our soul has been alive forever, it's been
around forever. I think that that it affects our ego
and makes our ego believe that this body has forever

(01:04:12):
and it doesn't. So, you know, anyway, we could go
so far down that rabbit hole. You are you are delightful.
I absolutely have enjoyed the heck out of having you
on the show today. Where is the and I want
to pop a banner up with your website address? What

(01:04:33):
is your website address that people can connect with you?

Speaker 3 (01:04:37):
So it is Lolly Coffee l A l E I g.

Speaker 1 (01:04:42):
H HOLDA l A l e I g H.

Speaker 2 (01:04:46):
L e I g H coffee c O F f E.

Speaker 3 (01:04:52):
Yeah dot dot com. Yeah. So on. There is all
about our retreats that we have coming up.

Speaker 2 (01:04:59):
We have one in Spain and then my retreat coaching
and then also coffee. That was a whole side note.
Started a coffee company in honor of my grandfather. So
Lolli is Lauren and Raleigh put together. And so that's
why I just keep everything on one site and makes
it easy.

Speaker 1 (01:05:15):
I love that. So Lollicoffee dot Com. I love that. Yes,
so you have a coffee company too.

Speaker 3 (01:05:23):
I do.

Speaker 2 (01:05:24):
I started that in twenty twenty one in honor of
my grandfather. He passed in twenty twenty one and Parkinson's,
so we donate to Parkinson's Foundation and his honor and
that's just like a labor of love. And he actually
what's really cool is he got to try the Raleigh
roast before he passed. So I flew to Kansas as
soon as we had the roast and he taste tested it.

Speaker 3 (01:05:46):
So we said hashtag Raleigh approved.

Speaker 2 (01:05:49):
And the funny part was on the bag, you know,
it said Raleigh Roast and I said, grips, do you
do you notice anything on the bag? And mind you,
he had, you know, lost a lot of the memory
years before.

Speaker 3 (01:06:01):
He was like, well I'm Rawley, but I don't know
who roast is.

Speaker 2 (01:06:07):
So it was great because he always was so funny
and it was cool to see that humor. And this
is just kind of a few months before he passed,
so it was a really special moment. I have it
filmed on tape and my Grandma's in the background as
he's sipping it and liking it, being like he loves it.

Speaker 3 (01:06:23):
He loves it.

Speaker 1 (01:06:25):
That's adorable. Oh my gosh. Wow. So, so everybody go
to Lollycoffee dot com l A. L. E.

Speaker 3 (01:06:38):
I G.

Speaker 1 (01:06:38):
H Coffee dot com and is all your social media
linked on there?

Speaker 2 (01:06:44):
And all I think it is, But if not, my
social where I am the most is Instagram, which is
Lauren L. Donahue, so at Laurenel Donahue, and all the
information for what we have going on is on there
as well.

Speaker 1 (01:06:57):
That's so awesome, Lauren, you are amazing. I want to
give you one last moment here before we end this
pretend for Look, I've been homeless four times as an adult,
lived in my car. It's not fun. But you know,

(01:07:22):
I've had a significant amount of loss as an adult,
and it's because I used to drink a lot. I've
got twenty two and a half years sober now, so
but you know, I think a lot about like, Okay,
if you and this is for you. If you had
the microphone and you were speaking to everybody on planet Earth,

(01:07:46):
including my buddy Joaquem who lives in Hell. It's a
city in your way, it's called Hell. It's a town.
It literally is. So let's say that you had the
mic and you were speaking to everybody on planet Earth,
everybody could understand you all at the same time. What

(01:08:08):
would you say to everyone listening right now, plus the
three thousand, five hundred and fifty nine people on X
watching right now. What would you say to all everyone,
all the same time about how to live a better
life and make a greater impact in the world.

Speaker 3 (01:08:28):
Okay, I think it's about remembering.

Speaker 2 (01:08:31):
And since we have Lolly Coffee running along the bottom here,
and I started that company in honor of my grandfather,
and really anything that comes out of my mouth that
sounds or resembles wisdom is from my grandfather. I am
who I am because of him. And something that I
really valued about him, probably not at the time, was

(01:08:53):
how much he repeated himself. He said the same thing
all the time. And what I realize now is that
repetition gets results, because if you repeat it enough, you'll
actually get it In your system, change your behavior and
get a different result.

Speaker 3 (01:09:07):
So one of the things that he said to me
all the time.

Speaker 2 (01:09:11):
Was the cream always rises to the top. And funny enough,
you know how many years later I would start a
coffee company.

Speaker 3 (01:09:20):
And that's a that whole is a whole different story.

Speaker 2 (01:09:22):
But I want everyone to remember, the cream always rises
to the top. And so what my grandpa meant when
he would say that, because usually it's you know, I
got broken up with or didn't get the job or whatever,
and Lauren, come here and sit down. Cream always rises
to the top. And what that means is when you
tell the truth, when you have integrity, when you do

(01:09:44):
the right thing when no one's watching, especially when no
one's watching, when you show up for people, when you
are kind and have compassion, it might take you a
lot longer to get to the top.

Speaker 3 (01:09:58):
Right then, maybe p people that lie cheat steel, right,
they get up.

Speaker 2 (01:10:02):
There, but it's not sustainable. They're not going to get
to stay up there. They might get there for a moment.
But if you do those things and you have patience
and perseverance and all of that, you will eventually get
to the top and you will stay there, and you
will have earned it and deserve it and all of that.
So I would say, remember the cream rises to the top,

(01:10:23):
never give up, keep showing up, one step at a time.
You will eventually get there and it will all be
worth it.

Speaker 1 (01:10:31):
Wow, ladies and gentlemen, you heard it from her mouth. Lauren,
You're amazing. Wow. Everybody go to if you're listening on
the podcast networks, go to Lollicoffee dot com l A

(01:10:52):
L E I G H dot com and follow Lauren
on instagramm Her MySpace is probably linked on there. I'm
totally kidding, hilarious.

Speaker 3 (01:11:08):
I think we should go back to my space.

Speaker 2 (01:11:11):
Right there's actually I mean, if you can imagine you
used to rank your friends on there, like if one
friend ticked you off, they like got down to number five,
that would be bizarre days so crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:11:24):
Well, how far we've come. Everybody go over to Lollycoffee
dot com and order some coffee. I want to try
this coffee. Holda, do you make k cups?

Speaker 3 (01:11:35):
We don't, which my dad keeps asking for.

Speaker 2 (01:11:37):
So we don't have k cups, but we do have
instant and it's actually incredible because I'm not coffee, but
we do have it in packages and there.

Speaker 3 (01:11:46):
It's absolutely amazing. You.

Speaker 2 (01:11:48):
The thing about Lolly Coffee is everyone always talks about
the taste. So whether it's our dcalf which usually you
can't find a good tasting decaf, which we have, or
instant coffee which doesn't usually taste good and it tastes amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:12:00):
So those are on the air.

Speaker 2 (01:12:03):
There's a Bonnie Brew which is in honor of my grandmother,
and for that one we donate to American Red Cross,
So each of them have a different charity attached to
the bag.

Speaker 3 (01:12:13):
So yeah, hope you enjoy and thanks for having me.

Speaker 2 (01:12:16):
This has been really beautiful and I'm glad that we
figured out the technology so we can make this happen.

Speaker 1 (01:12:22):
I know there was a little bit of panache up front,
but we got it.

Speaker 3 (01:12:27):
We got we stayed balm, and we fixed it. That's
what happens.

Speaker 2 (01:12:30):
If you just remain calm and you're responsive and not reactive,
you get results.

Speaker 1 (01:12:35):
Amen. Amen, Lauren, thank you so so so much. And
everybody go follow her everywhere and sign up for all
of her stuff everything. And I have a sneaky suspicion
that we're gonna there's there's more to come.

Speaker 3 (01:12:56):
I don't I think so too.

Speaker 1 (01:12:59):
So listen, everybody, please go follow Lauren and go to
Lolly Lollycoffee dot com and buy some coffee. For the
love of God, buy some coffee. So Lauren, thank you
so much. Stay with me. I'm gonna wrap up the show,
but I want to chat with you real quick, and
everybody listen. Thank you everyone for sharing this out. We

(01:13:22):
have over thirty six hundred people right now watching live
on x HI.

Speaker 3 (01:13:28):
Everyone, thanks for listening.

Speaker 1 (01:13:30):
It's amazing. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We have
some folks on Facebook and YouTube and everywhere, so thank
you all so much. Have a blessed day, and Lauren,
thank you and we'll see you all later.

Speaker 3 (01:13:45):
Thanks for having me.

Speaker 1 (01:13:47):
Thank you. The d