April 23, 2025 • 24 mins
This episode is a mini workshop and includes a Worksheet so you can follow along.
Shannon offers a heartfelt exploration of how to navigate the breast cancer journey by cultivating a mindset of growth and resilience. Through personal insights and actionable advice, she inspires listeners to accept their current situations and find strength and meaning in them.
• Emphasis on the importance of mindset in navigating health challenges
• Five central themes of blooming where you are planted
• Misconceptions surrounding the journey of personal growth
• Journaling exercise to confront irrational beliefs
• Steps to redefine personal beliefs for empowerment
• Guided visualization to nurture inner strengths
What does it Mean to Bloom Where You Are Planted - 5 themes
- Be Kind to Yourself Right Where You Are
- Give Yourself Time to Grow
- Find the Beauty in the Tough Stuff
- Trust Your Own Journey
- Embrace Yourself with Love
List of 24 Character Strengths
Please let us know how we can support you by completing the Breast Cancer Reimagined - Listener Survey
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
The story you tell yourself about your breast
cancer journey shapes yourentire experience, whether
you've been recently diagnosedor are in the midst of treatment
.
Breast Cancer Reimagined isyour podcast for writing this
new chapter of your life.
Hi, I'm Shannon, your host, andI'm so glad you're here.
(00:25):
As a proud two-time breastcancer survivor, I'm on a
mission to help women like youreimagine how you navigate your
breast cancer journey by helpingyou shift your mindset,
activate your strengths anduncover deeper meaning in your
journey.
I'm creating future episodes toaddress your unique challenges,
(00:45):
but I need your input.
What are your biggest questionsor struggles when it comes to
your journey?
Share them with me bycompleting the Google form
that's linked in the show notes.
Your voice matters and togetherwe can create something truly
powerful.
I can't wait to hear from you.
Create something truly powerful.
(01:09):
I can't wait to hear from you.
Hello, hello.
Welcome back to the podcast.
I'm Shannon, your host, proudtwo-time breast cancer survivor.
I am so glad you're here.
To start, I'm going to share oneof my favorite anonymous
sayings and I want you to thinkabout what it means to you and
how it relates to your breastcancer journey.
Here goes you can't control thecards you're dealt, but you can
(01:31):
control how you play the hand.
I love that saying, because adiagnosis can feel like a tough
hand, dealt unexpectedly.
I definitely felt that way.
I had no lump and no familyhistory either.
Breast cancer seemed to comeout of nowhere, but what I
realized was that you can'tcontrol getting breast cancer,
(01:55):
but how you respond to it iswithin your control.
For example, choosing how totreat it, choosing how to seek
support or how to care foryourself mentally and physically
are all ways that you can takecontrol.
It's a testament to yourstrength and resilience.
Ultimately, it's about choosingto bloom where you are planted,
(02:18):
and that is what we're talkingabout in today's episode,
episode number seven, and we'llbe doing some journaling
exercises.
So if you want to follow along,you may want to have pen and
paper.
Handy Balloon when you ArePlanted is the perfect follow-up
to self-compassion, because itfocuses on finding growth and
meaning exactly where you are,even in difficult circumstances.
(02:43):
Now, I became familiar with thisconcept when I was diagnosed
with breast cancer the secondtime.
It was October of 2021.
And when I went in for mymammogram because it was Breast
Cancer Awareness Month they hadsomething they were giving to
every woman that came in for amammogram, and what they were
giving away this year was abookmark, and the bookmark was
(03:05):
called Let Hope Bloom.
But something really special onthe bottom of this bookmark
that caught my attention.
It said this paper is embeddedwith wildflower seeds.
Plant and water daily untilseedlings are well established.
What an amazing idea plantingthe bookmark and watching it
(03:27):
grow, watching it bloom and sothat became part of my theme for
my breast cancer journey, andit also became a sign for how I
wanted to show up when I gotdiagnosed the second time.
So let's talk about what does itmean to bloom where you are
planted?
There are five themes that I'mgoing to share with you.
(03:48):
So the first one is all aboutbeing kind to yourself right
where you are.
So, instead of beating yourselfup about where you are in your
journey, try accepting things asthey are.
Just like a plant grows in itsspace, you can grow and thrive
right where you are too.
Number two give yourself timeto grow.
(04:11):
Blooming where you're plantedis all about being patient with
yourself.
It's okay if growth takes time.
Allow yourself the space toevolve at your own pace and
without pressure.
Number three find the beauty inthe tough stuff.
Even when things are hard,remember that you can still find
(04:35):
meaning and growth.
Just like flowers bloom indifficult conditions, you can
find strength and beauty intough times by showing yourself
compassion.
Four trust your own journey.
You don't have to rush orcompare your progress to anyone
else's.
Growth happens at its own pace.
(04:56):
So be gentle with yourself andtrust that you're exactly where
you need to be.
And number five embraceyourself with love.
Blooming where you're plantedmeans accepting yourself,
accepting your flaws and all.
Show yourself some love andflexibility as you navigate the
(05:18):
ups and downs of your journey,because you can thrive no matter
where you're at.
So which of these five themesstand out to you and why?
Is there anything you would addin terms of what it means to
bloom where you are planted?
Before moving to the journalingactivity, I just want to briefly
(05:40):
talk about three commonmisconceptions when it comes to
blooming where you are planted.
So the first one is the idea tobloom where you are planted, it
doesn't mean that you're stuck.
It's about finding growth andmeaning in your current
situation, not resigningyourself to it, and meaning in
(06:00):
your current situation, notresigning yourself to it.
And number two bloom where youare planted is not about
ignoring your needs orsuppressing your dreams.
It's about finding ways tonurture yourself and pursue your
goals within your currentcircumstances.
And number three bloom whereyou are planted doesn't mean you
have to be happy all the time.
(06:21):
It acknowledges that challengesexist, but encourages finding
ways to thrive despite them.
So what does it look like tobloom where you are planted
while navigating your breastcancer journey?
For me, one of the ways itshowed up was deciding on
purpose how I wanted to frameand navigate my journey.
(06:42):
That was a way I was blooming.
Another way you can bloom iswhen you have tough days.
Instead of focusing on thetough days, you can also
celebrate your small wins, likefinishing a treatment or finding
peace in your journey.
This helps you see your journeyas a chance to grow.
And number three when thingsget tough, you remind yourself
(07:07):
of your strength and you keepgoing.
Your perseverance helps you getthrough the hard times and it
also inspires others.
So, as we transition to thejournaling activity, there are
two quick things that I want youto keep in mind.
The first one is to think aboutyour character strengths.
Your character strengths arethe positive parts of your
(07:29):
personality.
There are 24 characterstrengths and we all have all 24
of them.
So there's a link in the shownotes to the list of 24
character strengths and if you'dlike to discover your character
strengths profile, there's alink to the VIA survey there as
well.
So, for this activity, thinkabout your character strengths
(07:50):
and which ones you can bring tothis activity to help you get
the most out of it.
So, for example, maybe youbring your kindness and you are
being gentle with yourself andnot being critical.
Maybe you want to bring yourperspective and look at the
bigger picture and start tonotice if you see any patterns
emerging.
Maybe you'll bring your honestyand tell yourself the truth
(08:14):
about your experience, becauseyou know that's how you're going
to get the most out of thisactivity, because you know
that's how you're going to getthe most out of this activity.
And the second thing you can'tcontrol the cards you're dealt,
but you can control how you playthe hand.
There is a link in the shownotes to a handout so that you
can follow along with thisexercise.
So the first step write down acard you've been dealt in your
(08:39):
breast cancer journey and whyit's a problem.
So some examples of cards thatyou may have been dealt in your
breast cancer journey could beside effects so many side
effects and then you takemedication and the medication
gives you more side effectsAnyway, side effects.
So some side effects might befatigue, nausea, hair loss,
(09:02):
neuropathy.
Or perhaps a card you've beendealt is treatment.
Maybe you're going throughradiation, maybe you're going
through chemo.
It could be something in termsof, like, financial situation or
maybe related to your insurance.
Or maybe you're working asyou're navigating your breast
cancer journey and that's achallenge for you.
(09:22):
Or maybe a card you've beendealt is in terms of the support
that you're receiving or notreceiving as you're navigating
your breast cancer journey.
So those are just some examples.
But write down a card you'vebeen dealt in your breast cancer
journey and then write down whyit's a problem.
This is really an opportunityfor you to just get all of those
(09:45):
thoughts out of your head andon to paper.
So once you've done that, nowwe can move to step number two.
And step number two is toidentify the irrational beliefs
you see playing out in what youwrote down about your card.
Let me explain Albert Ellis,he's an American psychologist
(10:09):
and he described six beliefs asclassic examples of irrational
beliefs or demands.
Demands are rigid, unrealisticand often subconscious
expectations that lead toemotional distress.
And so as you look at thishandout, you'll notice there are
six irrational beliefs that arelisted.
(10:31):
The first one is life should befair, and you'll notice it says
this is a demand on theuniverse or on reality itself.
So that just kind of gives youan overarching idea for this
particular irrational belief ordemand.
And then, underneath it, thereare three similar but
differently worded beliefs thattie into the same idea.
(10:54):
Because what you'll notice isyou might not say that life
should be fair in the story thatyou wrote, but you might say
something similar.
You might say something likeit's not say that life should be
fair in the story that youwrote, but you might say
something similar.
You might say something likeit's not right that life is so
unfair, or I deserve a fairshake, or bad things shouldn't
happen to me or us.
So the idea is, as you'relooking through these beliefs,
(11:16):
just notice if there is a flavorof that belief in your story.
So I'm just going to take amoment and read through all six
beliefs so that you have anoverall view of what they are.
So again, number one life shouldbe fair.
This is the demand on theuniverse or reality itself.
(11:37):
Number two I shouldn't have towork so hard.
This is a demand for comfortand avoidance of effort.
Number three I must be approvedby everyone.
This is a demand for universalapproval.
Number four life should beeasier.
This is a demand for constantease.
(11:59):
Be easier, this is a demand forconstant ease.
Number five you must treat mewell.
This is a demand on others'behavior.
And number six I must always dowell.
This is a demand for perfection.
What I love about theseirrational beliefs or demands is
the recognition that theseirrational beliefs are common.
(12:22):
Albert Ellis described them asclassic examples, and knowing
that to me is so importantbecause it helps us to realize
that others share similarthoughts and emotional
challenges.
And why is that important?
It can help us validate ourfeelings and to reduce the
stigma around seeking help ortalking about these issues.
(12:45):
Also, when you understand thatthese irrational beliefs are
part of a known pattern seen inmany others, it can just make it
easier to accept and to realizethat there's nothing wrong with
you.
There's nothing wrong with me,we're not alone in our struggles
.
These are common irrationalbeliefs that we all face.
(13:06):
And one other thing that I findso fascinating about this is
that these irrational beliefsshow up in all areas of our life
, not just as we're navigatingbreast cancer.
So again for step number two,you want to identify the
irrational beliefs that you seeplaying out in what you wrote
(13:28):
down about your card, and so,once you write those down, step
number three is to select one ofthose beliefs that is blocking
you from blooming and then toidentify how do you know it's
blocking you.
So let me give you an example.
(13:49):
So the irrational belief that Iidentified is life should be
fair.
I was thinking that it's notfair that I got breast cancer.
I didn't have a lump and therewas no history in my family, and
I know that this belief wasblocking me because I was
thinking that breast cancer washappening to me and that thought
(14:09):
made me cry.
That thought made me reallyunhappy.
It made me feel like a victim.
I didn't like that and it alsokept me in disbelief because I
kept saying I just can't believeI have breast cancer.
I just can't believe I havebreast cancer.
I can't believe I have breastcancer.
But this step is reallyimportant and understanding how
(14:29):
you know it's blocking you iskey.
Knowing how it's blocking youis key.
Awareness is key because onceyou recognize how this belief is
holding you back, you can meetyourself with compassion instead
of frustration orself-criticism.
This awareness allows you togently notice the pattern in
(14:51):
real time and it gives you thepower to choose a response that
actually supports you and it'snot about getting it perfect
actually supports you.
And it's not about getting itperfect.
It's about giving yourself thegrace to shift in a way that
aligns with your well-being.
Step number four Now it's timeto decide.
(15:11):
What do you want to believeinstead of the irrational belief
that you wrote down in stepnumber three?
This is about choosing a newbelief to focus on, and in the
worksheet you'll notice a newcolumn.
There's one column that saysirrational belief.
All six of those same beliefsare listed, and then in the
(15:32):
column to the right of that,it's called a new belief, and
what we have in this column iskind of like an opposite belief
of the irrational belief, and wehave three options for you to
choose from, and these again arejust suggestions.
So for number one, instead oflife should be fair, you might
(15:54):
choose to believe.
I can't control everything, butI can control how I respond.
Number two instead of Ishouldn't have to work so hard,
you may choose to believe I willgive myself grace when things
feel difficult, myself gracewhen things feel difficult.
Number three instead of I mustbe approved by everyone, you
(16:22):
might choose to believe noteveryone will understand my
journey, and that's okay.
I will honor my own path.
Number four instead of lifeshould be easier.
You may choose to believestruggle doesn't mean I'm doing
something wrong.
It means I'm human.
Number five instead of sayingyou must treat me well, you may
choose to believe others may notalways show up as I wish, but I
(16:44):
can choose to nurture myself.
And number six instead ofbelieving I must always do well.
You may choose to believe it'snot about being strong all the
time.
It's about allowing myself torest and heal when needed.
Now that you have your newbelief in hand, I'm going to
(17:05):
lead you through a guidedvisualization, but if you are
driving, just listen and you cando the visualization at a later
time.
So make sure that you're in asafe space if you're going to do
the visualization.
Okay, here we go.
Find a cozy place, gently closeyour eyes and draw a deep,
(17:31):
soothing breath through yournose.
Hold it for a moment, thenslowly exhale through your mouth
, feeling a deeper relaxationwith each breath.
Visualize yourself in apeaceful garden, sunlight
(17:51):
warming your skin and leavessoftly wrestling in the breeze.
Breathe in through your nose,enjoying the garden's fresh,
aromatic air.
In your hand is a distinctivebookmark labeled Let Hope Bloom.
(18:12):
It's embedded with wildflowerseeds accompanied by a note
Plant and Water Daily untilseedlings are well established.
These seeds represent the newbelief you've embraced, one of
nurturing potential andcontinuous growth.
(18:35):
Pick an ideal spot in the gardenand plant your bookmark.
As you bury it in the fertileearth, imagine it rooting down.
Visualize the roots growing,grounding and stabilizing you.
Visualize the roots growing,grounding and stabilizing you
(19:02):
With each inhalation.
See the seeds beginning toreaching up and eventually
blooming into radiantwildflowers.
These blossoms signify thegrowth in energy that come from
nurturing your inner strengthsand embracing your journey.
Admire the flourishing flowersand allow yourself to feel
(19:25):
profound gratitude for theblessings in your life.
What are you particularlythankful for right now?
Let these sensations surroundyou with warmth and positivity.
Admire the flourishing flowersand allow yourself to feel
(19:47):
profound gratitude for theblessings in your life,
resonating with your character,strengths of love, gratitude and
hope.
Let these sensations surroundyou with warm and positivity.
Take a deep, revitalizingbreath, feeling motivated and
ready to thrive in your existingconditions.
(20:10):
Slowly open your eyes, bringingwith you the vibrant image of
the blooms from your Let HopeBloom bookmark.
The bookmark is a reminder that, while you can't control the
cards you're dealt, you cancontrol how you play the hand.
Welcome back Now.
(20:44):
We'll move into step five.
What's the first small step youcan take today to nurture your
growth each day, like wateringthe seeds?
Which of your characterstrengths will support you in
this journey?
Now, for me, the example I wassharing.
My new belief is I can'tcontrol everything, but I can
control how I respond, and thefirst small step I took was to
(21:09):
make a decision.
Step I took was to make adecision.
I decided that breast cancerwas happening for me to learn
and grow, and a few of thecharacter strengths I used.
I used my perspective byframing my experience in a way
that felt empowering.
I also use my curiosity andwondered about the things I
(21:34):
would learn and how I would growin my breast cancer journey.
And I also use my spirituality,because I know I got breast
cancer for a reason and I get todecide what that reason is.
As we wrap up this episode, Iwant you to remember you can't
(21:55):
control the cards you're dealt,but you can control how you play
the hand.
Now it's your turn.
Make sure you go through thefive steps so you have a belief
that can boost your ability tobloom where you are planted,
belief that can boost yourability to bloom where you are
(22:16):
planted.
Here's a quick recap of thefive steps Write down a card
you've been dealt in your breastcancer journey and why it's a
problem.
Two identify the irrationalbeliefs you see playing out and
what you wrote down about yourcard from step number one.
Number three choose oneirrational belief that is
(22:36):
blocking you from looming andask yourself how do you know
it's blocking you?
Number four decide what youwant to believe instead.
This is about choosing a newbelief to focus on.
And number five what's thefirst small step you can take
today to nurture your growtheach day and which of your
(22:58):
character strengths will supportyou on this journey?
Here's another quote I am not aproduct of my circumstances.
I am a product of my decisions,and that's by Stephen Covey.
Product of my decisions andthat's by Stephen Covey.
In our next episode we'llexplore practical tools for
managing stress.
(23:18):
Don't forget to subscribe.
I'll talk with you in the nextepisode.
Thank you for joining.
The story you tell yourself about your breast
cancer journey shapes yourentire experience, whether
you've been recently diagnosedor are in the midst of treatment
.
Breast Cancer Reimagined isyour podcast for writing this
new chapter of your life.
Hi, I'm Shannon, your host, andI'm so glad you're here.
(00:25):
As a proud two-time breastcancer survivor, I'm on a
mission to help women like youreimagine how you navigate your
breast cancer journey by helpingyou shift your mindset,
activate your strengths anduncover deeper meaning in your
journey.
I'm creating future episodes toaddress your unique challenges,
(00:45):
but I need your input.
What are your biggest questionsor struggles when it comes to
your journey?
Share them with me bycompleting the Google form
that's linked in the show notes.
Your voice matters and togetherwe can create something truly
powerful.
I can't wait to hear from you.
Create something truly powerful.
(01:09):
I can't wait to hear from you.
Hello, hello.
Welcome back to the podcast.
I'm Shannon, your host, proudtwo-time breast cancer survivor.
I am so glad you're here.
To start, I'm going to share oneof my favorite anonymous
sayings and I want you to thinkabout what it means to you and
how it relates to your breastcancer journey.
Here goes you can't control thecards you're dealt, but you can
(01:31):
control how you play the hand.
I love that saying, because adiagnosis can feel like a tough
hand, dealt unexpectedly.
I definitely felt that way.
I had no lump and no familyhistory either.
Breast cancer seemed to comeout of nowhere, but what I
realized was that you can'tcontrol getting breast cancer,
(01:55):
but how you respond to it iswithin your control.
For example, choosing how totreat it, choosing how to seek
support or how to care foryourself mentally and physically
are all ways that you can takecontrol.
It's a testament to yourstrength and resilience.
Ultimately, it's about choosingto bloom where you are planted,
(02:18):
and that is what we're talkingabout in today's episode,
episode number seven, and we'llbe doing some journaling
exercises.
So if you want to follow along,you may want to have pen and
paper.
Handy Balloon when you ArePlanted is the perfect follow-up
to self-compassion, because itfocuses on finding growth and
meaning exactly where you are,even in difficult circumstances.
(02:43):
Now, I became familiar with thisconcept when I was diagnosed
with breast cancer the secondtime.
It was October of 2021.
And when I went in for mymammogram because it was Breast
Cancer Awareness Month they hadsomething they were giving to
every woman that came in for amammogram, and what they were
giving away this year was abookmark, and the bookmark was
(03:05):
called Let Hope Bloom.
But something really special onthe bottom of this bookmark
that caught my attention.
It said this paper is embeddedwith wildflower seeds.
Plant and water daily untilseedlings are well established.
What an amazing idea plantingthe bookmark and watching it
(03:27):
grow, watching it bloom and sothat became part of my theme for
my breast cancer journey, andit also became a sign for how I
wanted to show up when I gotdiagnosed the second time.
So let's talk about what does itmean to bloom where you are
planted?
There are five themes that I'mgoing to share with you.
(03:48):
So the first one is all aboutbeing kind to yourself right
where you are.
So, instead of beating yourselfup about where you are in your
journey, try accepting things asthey are.
Just like a plant grows in itsspace, you can grow and thrive
right where you are too.
Number two give yourself timeto grow.
(04:11):
Blooming where you're plantedis all about being patient with
yourself.
It's okay if growth takes time.
Allow yourself the space toevolve at your own pace and
without pressure.
Number three find the beauty inthe tough stuff.
Even when things are hard,remember that you can still find
(04:35):
meaning and growth.
Just like flowers bloom indifficult conditions, you can
find strength and beauty intough times by showing yourself
compassion.
Four trust your own journey.
You don't have to rush orcompare your progress to anyone
else's.
Growth happens at its own pace.
(04:56):
So be gentle with yourself andtrust that you're exactly where
you need to be.
And number five embraceyourself with love.
Blooming where you're plantedmeans accepting yourself,
accepting your flaws and all.
Show yourself some love andflexibility as you navigate the
(05:18):
ups and downs of your journey,because you can thrive no matter
where you're at.
So which of these five themesstand out to you and why?
Is there anything you would addin terms of what it means to
bloom where you are planted?
Before moving to the journalingactivity, I just want to briefly
(05:40):
talk about three commonmisconceptions when it comes to
blooming where you are planted.
So the first one is the idea tobloom where you are planted, it
doesn't mean that you're stuck.
It's about finding growth andmeaning in your current
situation, not resigningyourself to it, and meaning in
(06:00):
your current situation, notresigning yourself to it.
And number two bloom where youare planted is not about
ignoring your needs orsuppressing your dreams.
It's about finding ways tonurture yourself and pursue your
goals within your currentcircumstances.
And number three bloom whereyou are planted doesn't mean you
have to be happy all the time.
(06:21):
It acknowledges that challengesexist, but encourages finding
ways to thrive despite them.
So what does it look like tobloom where you are planted
while navigating your breastcancer journey?
For me, one of the ways itshowed up was deciding on
purpose how I wanted to frameand navigate my journey.
(06:42):
That was a way I was blooming.
Another way you can bloom iswhen you have tough days.
Instead of focusing on thetough days, you can also
celebrate your small wins, likefinishing a treatment or finding
peace in your journey.
This helps you see your journeyas a chance to grow.
And number three when thingsget tough, you remind yourself
(07:07):
of your strength and you keepgoing.
Your perseverance helps you getthrough the hard times and it
also inspires others.
So, as we transition to thejournaling activity, there are
two quick things that I want youto keep in mind.
The first one is to think aboutyour character strengths.
Your character strengths arethe positive parts of your
(07:29):
personality.
There are 24 characterstrengths and we all have all 24
of them.
So there's a link in the shownotes to the list of 24
character strengths and if you'dlike to discover your character
strengths profile, there's alink to the VIA survey there as
well.
So, for this activity, thinkabout your character strengths
(07:50):
and which ones you can bring tothis activity to help you get
the most out of it.
So, for example, maybe youbring your kindness and you are
being gentle with yourself andnot being critical.
Maybe you want to bring yourperspective and look at the
bigger picture and start tonotice if you see any patterns
emerging.
Maybe you'll bring your honestyand tell yourself the truth
(08:14):
about your experience, becauseyou know that's how you're going
to get the most out of thisactivity, because you know
that's how you're going to getthe most out of this activity.
And the second thing you can'tcontrol the cards you're dealt,
but you can control how you playthe hand.
There is a link in the shownotes to a handout so that you
can follow along with thisexercise.
So the first step write down acard you've been dealt in your
(08:39):
breast cancer journey and whyit's a problem.
So some examples of cards thatyou may have been dealt in your
breast cancer journey could beside effects so many side
effects and then you takemedication and the medication
gives you more side effectsAnyway, side effects.
So some side effects might befatigue, nausea, hair loss,
(09:02):
neuropathy.
Or perhaps a card you've beendealt is treatment.
Maybe you're going throughradiation, maybe you're going
through chemo.
It could be something in termsof, like, financial situation or
maybe related to your insurance.
Or maybe you're working asyou're navigating your breast
cancer journey and that's achallenge for you.
(09:22):
Or maybe a card you've beendealt is in terms of the support
that you're receiving or notreceiving as you're navigating
your breast cancer journey.
So those are just some examples.
But write down a card you'vebeen dealt in your breast cancer
journey and then write down whyit's a problem.
This is really an opportunityfor you to just get all of those
(09:45):
thoughts out of your head andon to paper.
So once you've done that, nowwe can move to step number two.
And step number two is toidentify the irrational beliefs
you see playing out in what youwrote down about your card.
Let me explain Albert Ellis,he's an American psychologist
(10:09):
and he described six beliefs asclassic examples of irrational
beliefs or demands.
Demands are rigid, unrealisticand often subconscious
expectations that lead toemotional distress.
And so as you look at thishandout, you'll notice there are
six irrational beliefs that arelisted.
(10:31):
The first one is life should befair, and you'll notice it says
this is a demand on theuniverse or on reality itself.
So that just kind of gives youan overarching idea for this
particular irrational belief ordemand.
And then, underneath it, thereare three similar but
differently worded beliefs thattie into the same idea.
(10:54):
Because what you'll notice isyou might not say that life
should be fair in the story thatyou wrote, but you might say
something similar.
You might say something likeit's not say that life should be
fair in the story that youwrote, but you might say
something similar.
You might say something likeit's not right that life is so
unfair, or I deserve a fairshake, or bad things shouldn't
happen to me or us.
So the idea is, as you'relooking through these beliefs,
(11:16):
just notice if there is a flavorof that belief in your story.
So I'm just going to take amoment and read through all six
beliefs so that you have anoverall view of what they are.
So again, number one life shouldbe fair.
This is the demand on theuniverse or reality itself.
(11:37):
Number two I shouldn't have towork so hard.
This is a demand for comfortand avoidance of effort.
Number three I must be approvedby everyone.
This is a demand for universalapproval.
Number four life should beeasier.
This is a demand for constantease.
(11:59):
Be easier, this is a demand forconstant ease.
Number five you must treat mewell.
This is a demand on others'behavior.
And number six I must always dowell.
This is a demand for perfection.
What I love about theseirrational beliefs or demands is
the recognition that theseirrational beliefs are common.
(12:22):
Albert Ellis described them asclassic examples, and knowing
that to me is so importantbecause it helps us to realize
that others share similarthoughts and emotional
challenges.
And why is that important?
It can help us validate ourfeelings and to reduce the
stigma around seeking help ortalking about these issues.
(12:45):
Also, when you understand thatthese irrational beliefs are
part of a known pattern seen inmany others, it can just make it
easier to accept and to realizethat there's nothing wrong with
you.
There's nothing wrong with me,we're not alone in our struggles
.
These are common irrationalbeliefs that we all face.
(13:06):
And one other thing that I findso fascinating about this is
that these irrational beliefsshow up in all areas of our life
, not just as we're navigatingbreast cancer.
So again for step number two,you want to identify the
irrational beliefs that you seeplaying out in what you wrote
(13:28):
down about your card, and so,once you write those down, step
number three is to select one ofthose beliefs that is blocking
you from blooming and then toidentify how do you know it's
blocking you.
So let me give you an example.
(13:49):
So the irrational belief that Iidentified is life should be
fair.
I was thinking that it's notfair that I got breast cancer.
I didn't have a lump and therewas no history in my family, and
I know that this belief wasblocking me because I was
thinking that breast cancer washappening to me and that thought
(14:09):
made me cry.
That thought made me reallyunhappy.
It made me feel like a victim.
I didn't like that and it alsokept me in disbelief because I
kept saying I just can't believeI have breast cancer.
I just can't believe I havebreast cancer.
I can't believe I have breastcancer.
But this step is reallyimportant and understanding how
(14:29):
you know it's blocking you iskey.
Knowing how it's blocking youis key.
Awareness is key because onceyou recognize how this belief is
holding you back, you can meetyourself with compassion instead
of frustration orself-criticism.
This awareness allows you togently notice the pattern in
(14:51):
real time and it gives you thepower to choose a response that
actually supports you and it'snot about getting it perfect
actually supports you.
And it's not about getting itperfect.
It's about giving yourself thegrace to shift in a way that
aligns with your well-being.
Step number four Now it's timeto decide.
(15:11):
What do you want to believeinstead of the irrational belief
that you wrote down in stepnumber three?
This is about choosing a newbelief to focus on, and in the
worksheet you'll notice a newcolumn.
There's one column that saysirrational belief.
All six of those same beliefsare listed, and then in the
(15:32):
column to the right of that,it's called a new belief, and
what we have in this column iskind of like an opposite belief
of the irrational belief, and wehave three options for you to
choose from, and these again arejust suggestions.
So for number one, instead oflife should be fair, you might
(15:54):
choose to believe.
I can't control everything, butI can control how I respond.
Number two instead of Ishouldn't have to work so hard,
you may choose to believe I willgive myself grace when things
feel difficult, myself gracewhen things feel difficult.
Number three instead of I mustbe approved by everyone, you
(16:22):
might choose to believe noteveryone will understand my
journey, and that's okay.
I will honor my own path.
Number four instead of lifeshould be easier.
You may choose to believestruggle doesn't mean I'm doing
something wrong.
It means I'm human.
Number five instead of sayingyou must treat me well, you may
choose to believe others may notalways show up as I wish, but I
(16:44):
can choose to nurture myself.
And number six instead ofbelieving I must always do well.
You may choose to believe it'snot about being strong all the
time.
It's about allowing myself torest and heal when needed.
Now that you have your newbelief in hand, I'm going to
(17:05):
lead you through a guidedvisualization, but if you are
driving, just listen and you cando the visualization at a later
time.
So make sure that you're in asafe space if you're going to do
the visualization.
Okay, here we go.
Find a cozy place, gently closeyour eyes and draw a deep,
(17:31):
soothing breath through yournose.
Hold it for a moment, thenslowly exhale through your mouth
, feeling a deeper relaxationwith each breath.
Visualize yourself in apeaceful garden, sunlight
(17:51):
warming your skin and leavessoftly wrestling in the breeze.
Breathe in through your nose,enjoying the garden's fresh,
aromatic air.
In your hand is a distinctivebookmark labeled Let Hope Bloom.
(18:12):
It's embedded with wildflowerseeds accompanied by a note
Plant and Water Daily untilseedlings are well established.
These seeds represent the newbelief you've embraced, one of
nurturing potential andcontinuous growth.
(18:35):
Pick an ideal spot in the gardenand plant your bookmark.
As you bury it in the fertileearth, imagine it rooting down.
Visualize the roots growing,grounding and stabilizing you.
Visualize the roots growing,grounding and stabilizing you
(19:02):
With each inhalation.
See the seeds beginning toreaching up and eventually
blooming into radiantwildflowers.
These blossoms signify thegrowth in energy that come from
nurturing your inner strengthsand embracing your journey.
Admire the flourishing flowersand allow yourself to feel
(19:25):
profound gratitude for theblessings in your life.
What are you particularlythankful for right now?
Let these sensations surroundyou with warmth and positivity.
Admire the flourishing flowersand allow yourself to feel
(19:47):
profound gratitude for theblessings in your life,
resonating with your character,strengths of love, gratitude and
hope.
Let these sensations surroundyou with warm and positivity.
Take a deep, revitalizingbreath, feeling motivated and
ready to thrive in your existingconditions.
(20:10):
Slowly open your eyes, bringingwith you the vibrant image of
the blooms from your Let HopeBloom bookmark.
The bookmark is a reminder that, while you can't control the
cards you're dealt, you cancontrol how you play the hand.
Welcome back Now.
(20:44):
We'll move into step five.
What's the first small step youcan take today to nurture your
growth each day, like wateringthe seeds?
Which of your characterstrengths will support you in
this journey?
Now, for me, the example I wassharing.
My new belief is I can'tcontrol everything, but I can
control how I respond, and thefirst small step I took was to
(21:09):
make a decision.
Step I took was to make adecision.
I decided that breast cancerwas happening for me to learn
and grow, and a few of thecharacter strengths I used.
I used my perspective byframing my experience in a way
that felt empowering.
I also use my curiosity andwondered about the things I
(21:34):
would learn and how I would growin my breast cancer journey.
And I also use my spirituality,because I know I got breast
cancer for a reason and I get todecide what that reason is.
As we wrap up this episode, Iwant you to remember you can't
(21:55):
control the cards you're dealt,but you can control how you play
the hand.
Now it's your turn.
Make sure you go through thefive steps so you have a belief
that can boost your ability tobloom where you are planted,
belief that can boost yourability to bloom where you are
(22:16):
planted.
Here's a quick recap of thefive steps Write down a card
you've been dealt in your breastcancer journey and why it's a
problem.
Two identify the irrationalbeliefs you see playing out and
what you wrote down about yourcard from step number one.
Number three choose oneirrational belief that is
(22:36):
blocking you from looming andask yourself how do you know
it's blocking you?
Number four decide what youwant to believe instead.
This is about choosing a newbelief to focus on.
And number five what's thefirst small step you can take
today to nurture your growtheach day and which of your
(22:58):
character strengths will supportyou on this journey?
Here's another quote I am not aproduct of my circumstances.
I am a product of my decisions,and that's by Stephen Covey.
Product of my decisions andthat's by Stephen Covey.
In our next episode we'llexplore practical tools for
managing stress.
(23:18):
Don't forget to subscribe.
I'll talk with you in the nextepisode.
Thank you for joining.
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