April 9, 2025 • 19 mins
Self-compassion becomes a vital lifeline for navigating the overwhelming challenges of a breast cancer journey. This episode introduces the concept of the Mirror Check-In, a tool for fostering self-kindness and emotional resilience during difficult moments.
• Navigating tough emotions during a breast cancer journey
• Exploring the meaning and importance of self-compassion
• Introduction of the Mirror Check-In tool for self-reflection
• Four elements of the Mirror Check-In: self-awareness, self-talk, self-soothing, and strengths
• The impact of waiting and uncertainty on emotional well-being
• The challenge of offering self-compassion and kindness
• Importance of practicing self-compassion actively during treatment
• Encouragement to integrate self-compassion into daily life
Thank you for joining.
The 4 Elements of the Mirror Check-In
- Self-awareness - acknowledge your emotions and respond with kindness instead of self-criticism
- Self-talk—speak kindly to yourself
- Self-soothing - comfort yourself with small physical gestures of kindness
- Character Strengths - tap into your inner reservoir of resilience and courage
List of 24 Character Strengths
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
The story you tell yourself about your breast
cancer journey shapes yourentire experience, whether
you've been recently diagnosedor are in the midst of treatment
.
Breast Cancer Reimagined isyour podcast for writing this
new chapter of your life.
Hi, I'm Shannon, your host, andI'm so glad you're here.
(00:25):
As a proud two-time breastcancer survivor, I'm on a
mission to help women like youreimagine how you navigate your
breast cancer journey by helpingyou shift your mindset,
activate your strengths anduncover deeper meaning in your
journey.
I'm creating future episodes toaddress your unique challenges,
(00:45):
but I need your input.
What are your biggest questionsor struggles when it comes to
your journey?
Share them with me bycompleting the Google form
that's linked in the show notes.
Your voice matters and togetherwe can create something truly
powerful.
I can't wait to hear from you.
Create something truly powerful.
(01:10):
I can't wait to hear from you.
Hello, hello.
Welcome back to the podcast.
Hi, I'm Shannon, your host.
I'm a proud two-time breastcancer survivor and I am so glad
you are here.
In our last episode, weexplored two practices to help
you uncover deeper meaning inyour breast cancer journey.
But what do you do when toughmoments and difficult emotions
(01:31):
feel overwhelming and you justcan't seem to uncover deeper
meaning in your experiences.
Well, in this episode, we diveinto self-compassion and how it
can help you navigate thosetoughest moments and uncover
deeper meaning in your journey.
We face a lot of tough momentsas we navigate breast cancer.
(01:52):
For example, getting diagnosedwith breast cancer or hearing
test results and feelingoverwhelmed with fear.
Coping with treatment sideeffects that leave you tired and
feeling disconnected.
Seeing changes in your body andfeeling a sense of loss.
Navigating relationships whenothers don't fully understand.
(02:17):
Fearing recurrence and worryingabout the future.
Grieving your old life andstruggling to find a new normal.
Endlessly waiting for testresults, appointments and
treatment plans.
Which of these tough momentsare you facing?
(02:40):
I remember the endless waiting.
I waited for the appointment tosee the surgeon.
I waited for tests to bescheduled.
Then I waited for the testresults.
I waited for surgery dates,radiation plans, chemo decisions
.
It felt like my life was in aconstant state of pause.
I was waiting for someone totell me what was next.
(03:04):
I was waiting for someone totell me what was next.
Even though I had decided thatbreast cancer was happening for
me to learn and grow, thewaiting still felt heavy.
I really struggled to findpeace in the unknown.
And that's when I beganexploring self-compassion.
Self-compassion gave mepermission to be gentle with
(03:28):
myself when so much was beyondmy control.
Instead of trying toimmediately push away that
discomfort of waiting, I learnedto be patient and to simply sit
with it.
I acknowledged the anxiety, thefear and the frustration I felt
, but I did so without judgment,allowing myself to feel those
(03:49):
emotions, without addingself-criticism to the mix.
This practice ofself-compassion it became a
lifeline.
So what is self-compassion?
Dr Kristen Neff she's a leadingresearcher on self-compassion.
She teaches thatself-compassion is about giving
yourself the same compassionyou'd naturally show a friend
(04:13):
when you're struggling orfeeling bad about yourself.
Basically, it's a way ofresponding to your pain and
struggles with gentleness ratherthan harsh criticism.
I really love that.
It's a way of responding toyour pain and struggles with
gentleness rather than harshcriticism.
That's something that I noticedabout both of my breast cancer
(04:36):
journeys.
I was very kind and lovingtowards myself.
I loved myself through thejourney and that's why I say I'm
a proud two-time breast cancersurvivor, because I'm proud of
how I showed up for myself whenI needed myself the most.
But how does self-compassionhelp you uncover deeper meaning,
(04:59):
especially when navigatingtough moments and your emotions
feel overwhelming.
When emotions feel overwhelming, your brain survival mode takes
over and it starts toprioritize immediate safety over
reflection.
When you're emotionallyoverwhelmed, it is exhausting,
it's mentally and physicallydraining and it leaves little
(05:22):
room or little energy for thatdeeper introspection.
In those moments, you'refocused on just getting through
the situation.
You're not looking to exploreany deeper meaning, but the
self-compassion tool I'm goingto teach you.
It acts like a nurturing pausebutton.
It helps you to step back,breathe deeply and acknowledge
(05:45):
what you're experiencing,without rushing to judgment or
reaction.
This gentle pause it reallyhelps to shift your default
response from self-criticism,which only intensifies stress
and emotional pain, to a placeof understanding and kindness.
To a place of understanding andkindness, and from this space
(06:05):
of compassion you can create theclarity and mental energy
needed to explore deeper meaning, and you begin to shift your
focus from why is this happeningto me To what can I learn from
this, and discover how thischallenge can bring purpose,
growth and insights that shapeyour life, values and
(06:27):
relationships in meaningful ways.
The self-compassion tool thatI'm introducing to you is called
the Mirror Check-In.
Now, this is something that Icreated back in 2018 because I
needed a way to manage theanxiety I was feeling.
In my job, I used to strugglewith perfectionism and I was
(06:49):
terrified of making mistakes,not having all of the answers,
and I was constantly beatingmyself up.
I stressed myself out so badthat I ended up going out on
medical leave.
How did the mirror check-inhelp?
Well, the mirror check-in.
It helped me to pause tobreathe and acknowledge how my
(07:09):
self-critical thoughts werecausing me to suffer, and it
helped me to start to replacethat self-criticism with
kindness and understanding.
Now, my anxiety didn't go awayovernight, but the mirror
check-in definitely helped easemy anxiety because I was
starting to be kinder to myselfinstead of beating myself up for
(07:31):
not being perfect.
So for this mirror check-in, youneed a mirror.
I typically use the mirror inmy bathroom which just shows
from waist up, because that'swhat's convenient.
So I encourage you to use whatis convenient for you, use what
you have, and a little bit laterI'll share some tips if you
(07:51):
don't feel comfortable doingthis in front of a mirror.
So a mirror check-in is acheck-in with yourself by
looking at yourself in themirror.
You do this in front of themirror so that you can see
yourself.
You want to be able to lookinto your eyes and to see your
facial expressions and to justpay attention to your body
(08:14):
language.
Now the purpose of the mirrorcheck-in, again, is to step back
, breathe deeply and acknowledgewhat you're going through,
without rushing to judgment orreaction.
It's an opportunity to be therefor yourself when you are
suffering, because that's whenyou need yourself the most.
(08:36):
It's also a chance to showyourself the same compassion
you'd offer a friend when you'restruggling or feeling down.
The mirror check-in involvesfour key elements, but before I
go through the four elements,bring to mind a friend that you
can think of when I share someexamples with you.
(08:57):
Okay, here goes.
We'll start with the first oneSelf-awareness.
Self-awareness helps you toacknowledge your emotions and
respond with kindness instead ofself-criticism.
Recognizing your emotionsallows you to respond with the
same kindness you'd offer tosomeone you care about.
For example, think of yourfriend and let's say you notice
(09:22):
that they appear to be angry orsad or in pain.
How would you respond?
You might say something likeit's okay to feel this way.
You're going through so muchright now.
Now imagine responding toyourself with that same kindness
instead of criticism.
(09:45):
The second element is self-talk.
Speaking kindly to yourself isself-talk, speaking kindly to
yourself.
In episode two we talked aboutthe negativity bias and how it
causes us to focus on problemsand what we think is wrong.
This is what makes it easy forus to be self-critical.
Speaking kindly to yourselfhelps to counter the negativity
(10:06):
bias and it creates a supportiveinner dialogue and that just
feels so much better.
So, for example, think of yourfriend and let's say you notice
that they're feeling down orfrustrated.
How would you respond?
You might say something likeyou're doing your best and it's
(10:27):
okay to take a break.
Now imagine speaking toyourself in the same way.
The third element isself-soothing, and this is about
comforting yourself with smallphysical gestures of kindness,
like putting your hand on yourheart, a gentle touch.
(10:47):
I love to wrap my arms aroundmyself and hug myself as a way
to self-soothe.
These actions reinforceself-worth and can help calm
your body and mind, and thisjust makes it so much easier to
navigate stress and difficultemotions.
So, for example, think of yourfriend and imagine that your
(11:09):
friend is feeling overwhelmed.
How would you respond?
You might give them acomforting hug or place a hand
on their shoulder.
Now imagine giving yourself thesame comfort.
And the fourth element strengthscharacter strengths.
Leveraging your characterstrengths in difficult moments
(11:32):
is like tapping into your innerreservoir of resilience and
courage.
It's a reminder that youalready have what it takes to
face challenges.
For example, think of yourfriend and let's say you notice
that they're facing a difficultor a tough moment.
What would you think you mightrecognize their strength of hope
(11:57):
or perseverance as they keepgoing despite the hardship?
Now imagine tapping into yourhope and perseverance by
integrating self-awareness,self-talk, self-soothing and
strengths.
You're not only strengtheningyour emotional resilience, but
(12:19):
you're also nurturing a morecompassionate relationship with
yourself.
Now think about those fourelements.
Which one of them resonateswith you the most?
Also, did you notice that whena friend is struggling or
feeling down, you naturally showthem compassion?
(12:39):
The fact that you can do it fora friend is proof that you can
do it for yourself too.
It just takes practice.
So let me walk you through anexample of how I used these four
elements in the mirror check-inwhen I was navigating those
intense waves of nausea.
(13:00):
Those waves of nausea would hitme a few days after going
through chemo, and when I wouldexperience these intense waves,
I would go into my bathroom,because that's where my mirror
was, and I would look at myselfin the mirror.
In my reflection, I could seethe pain in my eyes.
I could see the way I wasscrunching up my face because of
(13:25):
the pain and I was hunched over, kind of clutching my stomach
because I had such intensecramping.
And seeing my reflection in themirror, I wanted to comfort
myself, I wanted to take thatpain away.
And so I looked in my eyes andI said oh, sweetheart, you are
(13:48):
really hurting.
Then I would hug myself, lookin my eyes and say I got you,
girl, I got you, I am here foryou and I love you so much.
Sometimes I would just close myeyes and breathe.
(14:09):
Sometimes I would lay down onmy bathroom floor because the
tile being cool or something, itjust helped me.
It helped me to feel better.
Sometimes I would stand next tomy bed and I would just lay
down with my head and my torsoon the bed.
I tried all kinds of things justto help navigate these waves of
(14:32):
nausea and throughout the timeI kept telling myself I got you,
girl, I got you, I'm here foryou, I love you, girl, I got you
, I'm here for you, I love youso much.
This is how I navigated thewaves of nausea during my four
(14:53):
rounds of chemo.
Now, you know nobody wants togo through chemo and it was not
on my joy bucket list at all,but I can honestly say that I am
so grateful that I got toexperience it, because it helped
me to become a woman who offersherself compassion when she
needs it most.
And that's meaningful for me,because I struggled with
(15:15):
perfectionism and I used toconstantly beat myself up,
creating anxiety, and that justmade the whole experience even
worse, and so something that Ilearned, or the meaning that I
created from this experience,was offering myself love and
kindness.
It really helped me to changehow I relate to myself, and,
(15:39):
instead of responding to my painand my struggles, to the
criticism, I was able to offermyself compassion and gentleness
.
And two other strengths that Iused to help me create meaning
were gratitude and love oflearning.
I was grateful for what I waslearning about myself through
(16:01):
the chemo experience.
Now, when I share with otherbreast cancer survivors about
the mirror check-in tool, theyoften ask how do I start a
mirror check-in if looking atmyself feels overwhelming right
now?
If looking in the mirror feelsoverwhelming for you, don't push
(16:22):
yourself to do it and also knowthat you're not alone.
It can feel uncomfortablelooking at yourself in the
mirror.
You can always work your way upto looking at yourself in the
mirror if you choose to, and Ijust recommend that you start
small.
For example, you can stand infront of the mirror but have the
lights out.
(16:42):
That way you're still in frontof the mirror but you don't see
yourself, so that might make youfeel a little bit more
comfortable.
Or another way you can try itis you can be in front of the
mirror but close your eyes.
Close your eyes and, as youfeel more comfortable, you might
find that you can open youreyes in front of the mirror, but
only do it when it'scomfortable for you.
(17:03):
And you can also ask yourselfhow would you help a friend with
this?
What advice would you give afriend if they wanted to do the
exercise but they didn't want tolook in the mirror?
And then take the advice youwould give your friend and do it
for yourself.
And the last question what ifyou need to check in but you
(17:26):
don't have a mirror or otherpeople are around?
So you can do this byinternalizing the practice.
So, for example, start bybreathing in and breathing out
and then go through the fourelements in your head
Acknowledge what you're goingthrough, speak kindly to
yourself, self-soothe, and thenlean on your character strengths
(17:49):
.
Now, as we wrap up today'sepisode, remember the purpose of
the mirror check-in is to stepback, breathe deeply and
acknowledge what you're goingthrough without rushing to
judgment or reaction.
It's about being there foryourself when you are suffering,
because that's when you needyourself the most, and it
(18:14):
includes these four elementsself-awareness, self-talk,
self-soothing and strengths.
Over the next week, I encourageyou to practice the mirror
check-in when you areexperiencing difficult emotions,
when you're struggling orfeeling badly about yourself.
Practice giving yourself thesame compassion you'd naturally
(18:37):
show a friend.
Practice responding to yourpain and struggles with
gentleness rather than harshcriticism.
In our next episode, we'll diveinto bloom where you are
planted how to embrace difficultmoments and still find ways to
thrive.
Don't forget to subscribe.
(18:59):
I'll talk with you in the nextepisode.
Thank you for joining.
The story you tell yourself about your breast
cancer journey shapes yourentire experience, whether
you've been recently diagnosedor are in the midst of treatment
.
Breast Cancer Reimagined isyour podcast for writing this
new chapter of your life.
Hi, I'm Shannon, your host, andI'm so glad you're here.
(00:25):
As a proud two-time breastcancer survivor, I'm on a
mission to help women like youreimagine how you navigate your
breast cancer journey by helpingyou shift your mindset,
activate your strengths anduncover deeper meaning in your
journey.
I'm creating future episodes toaddress your unique challenges,
(00:45):
but I need your input.
What are your biggest questionsor struggles when it comes to
your journey?
Share them with me bycompleting the Google form
that's linked in the show notes.
Your voice matters and togetherwe can create something truly
powerful.
I can't wait to hear from you.
Create something truly powerful.
(01:10):
I can't wait to hear from you.
Hello, hello.
Welcome back to the podcast.
Hi, I'm Shannon, your host.
I'm a proud two-time breastcancer survivor and I am so glad
you are here.
In our last episode, weexplored two practices to help
you uncover deeper meaning inyour breast cancer journey.
But what do you do when toughmoments and difficult emotions
(01:31):
feel overwhelming and you justcan't seem to uncover deeper
meaning in your experiences.
Well, in this episode, we diveinto self-compassion and how it
can help you navigate thosetoughest moments and uncover
deeper meaning in your journey.
We face a lot of tough momentsas we navigate breast cancer.
(01:52):
For example, getting diagnosedwith breast cancer or hearing
test results and feelingoverwhelmed with fear.
Coping with treatment sideeffects that leave you tired and
feeling disconnected.
Seeing changes in your body andfeeling a sense of loss.
Navigating relationships whenothers don't fully understand.
(02:17):
Fearing recurrence and worryingabout the future.
Grieving your old life andstruggling to find a new normal.
Endlessly waiting for testresults, appointments and
treatment plans.
Which of these tough momentsare you facing?
(02:40):
I remember the endless waiting.
I waited for the appointment tosee the surgeon.
I waited for tests to bescheduled.
Then I waited for the testresults.
I waited for surgery dates,radiation plans, chemo decisions
.
It felt like my life was in aconstant state of pause.
I was waiting for someone totell me what was next.
(03:04):
I was waiting for someone totell me what was next.
Even though I had decided thatbreast cancer was happening for
me to learn and grow, thewaiting still felt heavy.
I really struggled to findpeace in the unknown.
And that's when I beganexploring self-compassion.
Self-compassion gave mepermission to be gentle with
(03:28):
myself when so much was beyondmy control.
Instead of trying toimmediately push away that
discomfort of waiting, I learnedto be patient and to simply sit
with it.
I acknowledged the anxiety, thefear and the frustration I felt
, but I did so without judgment,allowing myself to feel those
(03:49):
emotions, without addingself-criticism to the mix.
This practice ofself-compassion it became a
lifeline.
So what is self-compassion?
Dr Kristen Neff she's a leadingresearcher on self-compassion.
She teaches thatself-compassion is about giving
yourself the same compassionyou'd naturally show a friend
(04:13):
when you're struggling orfeeling bad about yourself.
Basically, it's a way ofresponding to your pain and
struggles with gentleness ratherthan harsh criticism.
I really love that.
It's a way of responding toyour pain and struggles with
gentleness rather than harshcriticism.
That's something that I noticedabout both of my breast cancer
(04:36):
journeys.
I was very kind and lovingtowards myself.
I loved myself through thejourney and that's why I say I'm
a proud two-time breast cancersurvivor, because I'm proud of
how I showed up for myself whenI needed myself the most.
But how does self-compassionhelp you uncover deeper meaning,
(04:59):
especially when navigatingtough moments and your emotions
feel overwhelming.
When emotions feel overwhelming, your brain survival mode takes
over and it starts toprioritize immediate safety over
reflection.
When you're emotionallyoverwhelmed, it is exhausting,
it's mentally and physicallydraining and it leaves little
(05:22):
room or little energy for thatdeeper introspection.
In those moments, you'refocused on just getting through
the situation.
You're not looking to exploreany deeper meaning, but the
self-compassion tool I'm goingto teach you.
It acts like a nurturing pausebutton.
It helps you to step back,breathe deeply and acknowledge
(05:45):
what you're experiencing,without rushing to judgment or
reaction.
This gentle pause it reallyhelps to shift your default
response from self-criticism,which only intensifies stress
and emotional pain, to a placeof understanding and kindness.
To a place of understanding andkindness, and from this space
(06:05):
of compassion you can create theclarity and mental energy
needed to explore deeper meaning, and you begin to shift your
focus from why is this happeningto me To what can I learn from
this, and discover how thischallenge can bring purpose,
growth and insights that shapeyour life, values and
(06:27):
relationships in meaningful ways.
The self-compassion tool thatI'm introducing to you is called
the Mirror Check-In.
Now, this is something that Icreated back in 2018 because I
needed a way to manage theanxiety I was feeling.
In my job, I used to strugglewith perfectionism and I was
(06:49):
terrified of making mistakes,not having all of the answers,
and I was constantly beatingmyself up.
I stressed myself out so badthat I ended up going out on
medical leave.
How did the mirror check-inhelp?
Well, the mirror check-in.
It helped me to pause tobreathe and acknowledge how my
(07:09):
self-critical thoughts werecausing me to suffer, and it
helped me to start to replacethat self-criticism with
kindness and understanding.
Now, my anxiety didn't go awayovernight, but the mirror
check-in definitely helped easemy anxiety because I was
starting to be kinder to myselfinstead of beating myself up for
(07:31):
not being perfect.
So for this mirror check-in, youneed a mirror.
I typically use the mirror inmy bathroom which just shows
from waist up, because that'swhat's convenient.
So I encourage you to use whatis convenient for you, use what
you have, and a little bit laterI'll share some tips if you
(07:51):
don't feel comfortable doingthis in front of a mirror.
So a mirror check-in is acheck-in with yourself by
looking at yourself in themirror.
You do this in front of themirror so that you can see
yourself.
You want to be able to lookinto your eyes and to see your
facial expressions and to justpay attention to your body
(08:14):
language.
Now the purpose of the mirrorcheck-in, again, is to step back
, breathe deeply and acknowledgewhat you're going through,
without rushing to judgment orreaction.
It's an opportunity to be therefor yourself when you are
suffering, because that's whenyou need yourself the most.
(08:36):
It's also a chance to showyourself the same compassion
you'd offer a friend when you'restruggling or feeling down.
The mirror check-in involvesfour key elements, but before I
go through the four elements,bring to mind a friend that you
can think of when I share someexamples with you.
(08:57):
Okay, here goes.
We'll start with the first oneSelf-awareness.
Self-awareness helps you toacknowledge your emotions and
respond with kindness instead ofself-criticism.
Recognizing your emotionsallows you to respond with the
same kindness you'd offer tosomeone you care about.
For example, think of yourfriend and let's say you notice
(09:22):
that they appear to be angry orsad or in pain.
How would you respond?
You might say something likeit's okay to feel this way.
You're going through so muchright now.
Now imagine responding toyourself with that same kindness
instead of criticism.
(09:45):
The second element is self-talk.
Speaking kindly to yourself isself-talk, speaking kindly to
yourself.
In episode two we talked aboutthe negativity bias and how it
causes us to focus on problemsand what we think is wrong.
This is what makes it easy forus to be self-critical.
Speaking kindly to yourselfhelps to counter the negativity
(10:06):
bias and it creates a supportiveinner dialogue and that just
feels so much better.
So, for example, think of yourfriend and let's say you notice
that they're feeling down orfrustrated.
How would you respond?
You might say something likeyou're doing your best and it's
(10:27):
okay to take a break.
Now imagine speaking toyourself in the same way.
The third element isself-soothing, and this is about
comforting yourself with smallphysical gestures of kindness,
like putting your hand on yourheart, a gentle touch.
(10:47):
I love to wrap my arms aroundmyself and hug myself as a way
to self-soothe.
These actions reinforceself-worth and can help calm
your body and mind, and thisjust makes it so much easier to
navigate stress and difficultemotions.
So, for example, think of yourfriend and imagine that your
(11:09):
friend is feeling overwhelmed.
How would you respond?
You might give them acomforting hug or place a hand
on their shoulder.
Now imagine giving yourself thesame comfort.
And the fourth element strengthscharacter strengths.
Leveraging your characterstrengths in difficult moments
(11:32):
is like tapping into your innerreservoir of resilience and
courage.
It's a reminder that youalready have what it takes to
face challenges.
For example, think of yourfriend and let's say you notice
that they're facing a difficultor a tough moment.
What would you think you mightrecognize their strength of hope
(11:57):
or perseverance as they keepgoing despite the hardship?
Now imagine tapping into yourhope and perseverance by
integrating self-awareness,self-talk, self-soothing and
strengths.
You're not only strengtheningyour emotional resilience, but
(12:19):
you're also nurturing a morecompassionate relationship with
yourself.
Now think about those fourelements.
Which one of them resonateswith you the most?
Also, did you notice that whena friend is struggling or
feeling down, you naturally showthem compassion?
(12:39):
The fact that you can do it fora friend is proof that you can
do it for yourself too.
It just takes practice.
So let me walk you through anexample of how I used these four
elements in the mirror check-inwhen I was navigating those
intense waves of nausea.
(13:00):
Those waves of nausea would hitme a few days after going
through chemo, and when I wouldexperience these intense waves,
I would go into my bathroom,because that's where my mirror
was, and I would look at myselfin the mirror.
In my reflection, I could seethe pain in my eyes.
I could see the way I wasscrunching up my face because of
(13:25):
the pain and I was hunched over, kind of clutching my stomach
because I had such intensecramping.
And seeing my reflection in themirror, I wanted to comfort
myself, I wanted to take thatpain away.
And so I looked in my eyes andI said oh, sweetheart, you are
(13:48):
really hurting.
Then I would hug myself, lookin my eyes and say I got you,
girl, I got you, I am here foryou and I love you so much.
Sometimes I would just close myeyes and breathe.
(14:09):
Sometimes I would lay down onmy bathroom floor because the
tile being cool or something, itjust helped me.
It helped me to feel better.
Sometimes I would stand next tomy bed and I would just lay
down with my head and my torsoon the bed.
I tried all kinds of things justto help navigate these waves of
(14:32):
nausea and throughout the timeI kept telling myself I got you,
girl, I got you, I'm here foryou, I love you, girl, I got you
, I'm here for you, I love youso much.
This is how I navigated thewaves of nausea during my four
(14:53):
rounds of chemo.
Now, you know nobody wants togo through chemo and it was not
on my joy bucket list at all,but I can honestly say that I am
so grateful that I got toexperience it, because it helped
me to become a woman who offersherself compassion when she
needs it most.
And that's meaningful for me,because I struggled with
(15:15):
perfectionism and I used toconstantly beat myself up,
creating anxiety, and that justmade the whole experience even
worse, and so something that Ilearned, or the meaning that I
created from this experience,was offering myself love and
kindness.
It really helped me to changehow I relate to myself, and,
(15:39):
instead of responding to my painand my struggles, to the
criticism, I was able to offermyself compassion and gentleness
.
And two other strengths that Iused to help me create meaning
were gratitude and love oflearning.
I was grateful for what I waslearning about myself through
(16:01):
the chemo experience.
Now, when I share with otherbreast cancer survivors about
the mirror check-in tool, theyoften ask how do I start a
mirror check-in if looking atmyself feels overwhelming right
now?
If looking in the mirror feelsoverwhelming for you, don't push
(16:22):
yourself to do it and also knowthat you're not alone.
It can feel uncomfortablelooking at yourself in the
mirror.
You can always work your way upto looking at yourself in the
mirror if you choose to, and Ijust recommend that you start
small.
For example, you can stand infront of the mirror but have the
lights out.
(16:42):
That way you're still in frontof the mirror but you don't see
yourself, so that might make youfeel a little bit more
comfortable.
Or another way you can try itis you can be in front of the
mirror but close your eyes.
Close your eyes and, as youfeel more comfortable, you might
find that you can open youreyes in front of the mirror, but
only do it when it'scomfortable for you.
(17:03):
And you can also ask yourselfhow would you help a friend with
this?
What advice would you give afriend if they wanted to do the
exercise but they didn't want tolook in the mirror?
And then take the advice youwould give your friend and do it
for yourself.
And the last question what ifyou need to check in but you
(17:26):
don't have a mirror or otherpeople are around?
So you can do this byinternalizing the practice.
So, for example, start bybreathing in and breathing out
and then go through the fourelements in your head
Acknowledge what you're goingthrough, speak kindly to
yourself, self-soothe, and thenlean on your character strengths
(17:49):
.
Now, as we wrap up today'sepisode, remember the purpose of
the mirror check-in is to stepback, breathe deeply and
acknowledge what you're goingthrough without rushing to
judgment or reaction.
It's about being there foryourself when you are suffering,
because that's when you needyourself the most, and it
(18:14):
includes these four elementsself-awareness, self-talk,
self-soothing and strengths.
Over the next week, I encourageyou to practice the mirror
check-in when you areexperiencing difficult emotions,
when you're struggling orfeeling badly about yourself.
Practice giving yourself thesame compassion you'd naturally
(18:37):
show a friend.
Practice responding to yourpain and struggles with
gentleness rather than harshcriticism.
In our next episode, we'll diveinto bloom where you are
planted how to embrace difficultmoments and still find ways to
thrive.
Don't forget to subscribe.
(18:59):
I'll talk with you in the nextepisode.
Thank you for joining.
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