Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hello everyone,
welcome back to Brutally Made.
I'm glad that I am closing outthis month of August a little
bit more consistent on therecordings.
I am here in my studio and I amhappy to be with you today.
I wanted to talk a little bitabout unexpected things that
(00:28):
happen when you have the bestmade plans kind of set out for a
journey.
It has kind of hit me a littlebit and it has to do with my
health and I have not been ableto doodle like I've been wanting
to or what I have in the pastand shared as the premise of
(00:53):
this whole podcast, because ofsome joint issues that I've been
having and I talk a lot with myhands and I have these
beautiful little compressiongloves on.
Right now.
I have been dealing with severejoint pain that has been
plaguing me for a little whileand it has been found out it is
(01:15):
stemming from Lyme disease.
So I have not been doodlingjust because I really can't grip
a pen, a pencil, a paintbrushfor very long and it is really
difficult for me to do thingsfor a long amount of time and
(01:38):
doodling takes a while.
So I mean you can start andstop, but I yeah, I have not
been sharing that.
Just because of that and soit's something that I had not
realized I had I was bit by atick in 23.
It was July of 23.
It was on my elbow and I took apicture of it and contacted my
(02:01):
doctor and we watched for abullseye to develop and nothing
did and didn't really feel likeit affected me.
Fast forward to April of lastyear.
We were getting ready to go tosee our children in Seattle and
I woke up one morning and Icould not move my head.
(02:22):
I could not lift my neck orlook down.
You know how you can touch yourchin to your chest.
That was one of the signs forlike meningitis.
I couldn't do that and Icouldn't turn left or right real
easily, it just really hurt.
So I contacted my doctor and Iwent in and I told her what I
thought.
So they took blood work andthey were erring on the side
(02:43):
that maybe I just needed a newpillow or maybe I slept wrong
that night because it was justso sudden, but we were leaving
within days to go visit our kids.
So they gave me some musclerelaxers to try to make me relax
, to be able to be on the planeand be more comfortable and do
blood work.
That blood work came back whileI was gone and the white cells
(03:07):
were really elevated.
So they gave me justamoxicillin.
They said it must be fightingsomething, but they still
thought I needed to get a newpillow.
I got a massage.
I was just trying everything toget some relief and eventually
it just kind of subsided.
It didn't completely go away.
Once in a while I'd stillreally have a hard time like
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turning.
So I have so many pillowsbecause I was trying so many.
Then in November of last year Ihave a whole team of specialists
, just because I have been goingthrough quite a journey full
disclosure of menopause for 11years now and it has affected me
(03:52):
immensely Organs, health,everything you can think of.
It has just been wreaking havocon my body and so I have an
endocrinologist, because at onetime I was really deep into type
two diabetes.
So my endo I see like every sixmonths and he prescribed Boniva
(04:13):
because they did a bone densitytest and he said you know,
you're going to looks like goright into osteoporosis or it's
like a preventative thing, sowe're going to put you on this.
So I started that and on myfifth dose.
I woke up in May and I couldn'tmove, I could not lift my arms,
I could not close my hands, Icouldn't walk.
(04:34):
It was so sudden, just like theneck pain, and it hurt all over
, and it was about three to fivedays after I had taken that
dose.
So I was just convinced thatthere was something in that
medicine that I was having asevere reaction to, because
joint pain was one of thereactions, one of the side
effects.
(04:55):
So I stopped taking it and I hadan appointment with them and
they were like, yeah, you canstop it.
And I said I did.
I haven't taken it for it waslike eight weeks and I said, but
I am so sore I still can't move.
It's not helping being off ofit.
I said I looked into likebioidentical hormone therapy I'm
(05:17):
just like struggling here.
And they said, well, there'snothing that we can do.
You're gonna have to go to yourPCP, which I love, my PCP.
I have a new one from aboutthree or four years ago when I
started on this whole healthjourney of getting things in
order with this menopause.
So go to her and see she'salways saying that she's like
(05:38):
playing catch up with me, but Iswear I've just tried to do
things in the right order.
And she starts taking bloodwork and she's just like I, you
know, can get you steroids andwe're going to get you on
doxycycline because your bloodwork has come back and you have
like stage four, long-term Lyme,whatever you want to call it.
(05:59):
My acute numbers were not there, but it was the long-term that
were like off the charts.
And so they put me ondoxycycline and I had been on it
for about two weeks andsteroids and nothing was helping
my I still could not move myarms, I still could not move my
(06:19):
hands.
I still have joint pain in mylegs.
It's going radiating into myshoulders and back.
I mean, it is just everywhere.
And so she's just at her wit'send.
She's just like I cannotbelieve that your inflammation,
my hands are swollen, my fingersare swollen, my wrists are
swollen, and she's like I cannotbelieve that this steroid did
not do anything yet.
(06:40):
And so we revamped it again andgot more in me.
And so we revamped it again andgot more in me.
So I'm starting more, finishingoff this doxy.
But I had to get a infectiousdisease doctor and a
rheumatologist because of justall of the joint issues.
They started taking x-rays onmy hands and x-rays on my wrists
and things are coming back withthis like crazy inflammation.
(07:04):
Yeah, that is on one hand.
That is not my dominant hand.
That I don't draw with is worsethan my right hand, but my
right hand's inflammation andswelling is way more prevalent,
but the x-rays show opposite.
It's so strange.
So, yeah, so now I am dealingwith two more specialists into
(07:27):
my health care journey, two morespecialists into my healthcare
journey, and this was not on mybingo card for retirement and
opening a store and being afull-time artist.
It has been a huge struggle.
I have literally worked throughthe pain with a smile on my
face, as much as I can and withthe help of my husband and with
friends, and I can't evenimagine how you process planning
(07:52):
for something like this,especially when you use your
hands like I do for your work,and making me like realize, oh
my gosh, what am I going to doif I can't visually show
somebody how to do something?
It's been really difficult andI really wonder how many other
(08:19):
people deal with these.
I've never had chronic pain andthis has just been super
difficult, so hard and hurts so,so much, and I'm just thinking
back, man, in May I drove toKentucky by myself and I went to
this wonderful art retreat anddid yoga.
It was just like this lightswitch went off and I literally,
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you know, struggle to move.
My husband has my medicinesitting in a little cup for me
so I can get up at like I don'tknow, 2.30, 3 am and take it.
So it literally sits in mysystem for about three or four
hours so I can move when I getup in the morning and just
trying to get a little extrarest and trying to manage, you
(09:06):
know, moving slower, and that isnot me, I don't move slow.
This is very hard.
So just full transparency.
You know things aren't 100%beautiful.
You know roses and paintbrushesevery day and smiles are really
hiding a lot of struggle andyou know perseverance and pain,
(09:33):
a lot of struggle.
And you know perseverance andpain and I, you know, hope I can
get some answers.
Thank goodness that when Icalled these doctors the
original appointments were untillike October and November and I
just kind of asked is there acancellation list that I can be
on?
I will take whatever comes up?
And one doctor immediatelycalled back within, I would say
(09:53):
less than an hour, and had acancellation for next week.
And I took it.
And then the other doctor'sscheduler.
As soon as I said that, she'slike, well, we just had one for
next week, I'm like, take, I'lltake it, I'll do it and, you
know, with the help of friendswho will help me, like, watch
the store while I'm gone, I'llbe able to make those
appointments and it's just beenout of the blue.
(10:16):
You know, how do you plan forthese things?
How do you?
I mean I didn't want to actlike nothing wrong would happen.
I mean I know there's going tobe struggles, but this was huge
for me.
I mean this affects what I wantto do in my new career and full
time and I do everything fromsewing to hand knitting, to
(10:37):
designing to painting.
I have a mural to paint andit's just blindsided me.
So how do you mentally preparefor handling those kinds of
stressors?
And you know, what have youdone when those things have
happened?
I would love some guidance.
I would love to hear how you'retackling anything that you just
(11:03):
you know, kind of thought couldhappen but really didn't plan
for it.
And if you have Lyme disease,like now I have, if that is
something you have dealt with.
I had so many wonderful friendsand family contact me with
doctors, heliopathic medicine,treatments in other countries.
(11:26):
There's just been a slew ofsuggestions on how to handle
this and what to do and who tosee and how to get treatment and
how to manage this.
I mean, it's so long term.
I've had this for a while, mylong term numbers are so high,
my inflammation numbers arehorrendous and it just is.
(11:47):
I mean, going back to what hashappened, I feel like I know
what has like caused thesetriggers I guess more or less to
bring this up, I think.
But yeah, it's just been crazy,you know, incredibly difficult,
because I was feeling so goodand I was like all ready and
(12:07):
mentally and physically preparedto like do this and tackle this
.
And I mean, I am someone thatloves to help and fix things and
be there when somebody needshelp and want to be the one that
answers the call.
And it's just been really hard.
I don't know how to handle thatpart too.
It mentally wakes me up in themiddle of the night and keeps me
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thinking of what can I do tomanage my day, to get things
done, because my list is hugeand I want to not break a
commitment and I want to makesure that I stay true to my word
and I want this to be a success.
I has to be.
I mean this is what I'm doingand so I'm here every day, I'm
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showing up, and I couldn't do itwithout the help of Brian.
I mean I really couldn't.
He has just been helping meleft and right as much as he can
, couldn't.
He has just been helping meleft and right as much as he can
and friends and family thathave sent me messages and
suggestions on what to do.
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I mean I have a lot of familyin the medical fields and so
they've been very kind and justand people who had Lyme and told
me what their stories were andhow soon they got detected, and
that's been huge.
If you get bit, I mean justpress for that test then.
Or medicine.
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I mean don't wait.
We should have never defaultedto a bullseye.
We should have treated itimmediately.
I had the tick.
We could have tested the tick.
I mean we really should have,and I'd never been bitten.
I guess when I was tiny, when Iwas a little girl, my mom said I
was, but I don't remember thatthis was, I mean, just affected
(14:01):
me so hard.
So just wanted to share thosethoughts and explain why there
haven't been any doodles andexplain why my hair looks the
way that it does, because Ireally can't put my arms up to
fix it more than a few seconds,so a little braid is about all I
can do.
It's yeah, it's been a struggle, but I'm getting through it and
(14:27):
I am bound and determined towork through this pain.
I'll continue to work throughthis pain and get some treatment
, and I'm anxious to see whatthese specialists have to say.
So hopefully I'll have a betterupdate next week because I will
have seen both of them and I'llbe able to share that update.
So I hope you have a wonderfulweekend.
(14:49):
This is the end of August and weare going into Labor Day.
We are closed here at the shopon Labor Day because I need a
break, a day of rest, and itreally isn't a day of rest
because Brian, my husband, isthe exhibiting artist for
September and we are installinghis show and I have a mural to
paint.
So it'll be nice to be able toconcentrate on those two things
(15:12):
and get them done and, yeah, getready for the month and we have
a big event happening Ourdaughter is getting married in
the middle of September inSeattle, so I'm very excited
about that.
So just a lot happening and alot to share and a lot to
celebrate and a lot to workthrough.
So you never know what somebodyis dealing with, even if they're
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smiling as wide as they can,it's sometimes, you know, hard
to think.
It's easy to think thateverything is always just so
bubbly and perfect, and it isnot, and I just wanted to share
that.
It's okay to struggle and it'sokay to take a breath, but it's
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also okay to be kind of fearfulbecause you didn't plan for
something like this to happen.
It's also okay to be kind offearful because you didn't plan
for something like this tohappen, so I'm still very
grateful that it's somethingthat I can probably take some
medicine for and manage, so thatI am grateful for.
I'm anxious to see, though,what these other doctors happen
to find and share with you.
(16:23):
All right, have a wonderfulweekend and enjoy the holiday If
you're celebrating a Labor Dayweekend, and I will talk to you
next time.
Bye.