June 25, 2025 • 29 mins
Jamie Lima welcomes Germaine Foley, who shares her journey from financial struggle and bankruptcy to achieving financial freedom. They offer advice on maintaining financial balance during divorce and aligning spending with personal values. The episode addresses overcoming a scarcity mindset, debt repayment, and establishing healthy financial habits. Psychological aspects of money and common financial traps in divorce are explored, emphasizing the importance of due diligence with financial advisers and avoiding the abdication of financial decisions.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome back to another episode of Broke Up NotBroken.
(00:02):
I'm your host, Jamie Lima, and founder ofAllegiant Divorce Solutions, where we help
people prepare for, navigate, and recoverfinancially from divorce.
This podcast is your one stop shop formastering your life and your finances
throughout the entire divorce process.
Today's guest is Jermaine Foley, a certifiedlife and money coach who specializes in helping
(00:24):
women build wealth without sacrificing the joysof their life.
Jermaine's journey from 6 figure income and 6figure debt to lasting financial freedom is not
only powerful, but it's also practical.
She now helps others rebuild financialconfidence and create wealth after major life
transitions, including divorce.
So grab a cup of coffee or your beverage ofchoice, buckle up, and let's once again get you
(00:46):
personally and financially empowered.
Jermaine, it is so good to have you here withus today.
Thank you for having me, Jamie.
I'm excited.
Yeah.
I'm excited to have you because, you know, youwe're cut from the same cloth in a lot of ways
here with our financial background and me beinga financial planner.
Up twenty twenty one years this year, I've beena financial planner.
(01:06):
So that's where all the gray and the beardcomes from.
So you luckily don't have that problem, but Iknow you have a lot of experience in the world
of of coaching people and through all thefinancial decisions that they have to make and
help them build wealth and so on.
And sounds like you had a a little bit of arough road there that brought you to where you
(01:26):
are.
So maybe we start there.
We'll we'll see where the conversation goesfrom that point.
Yes.
Absolutely.
So I grew up right outside of Detroit in a bluecollar town, and my family knew that they
wanted to my parents knew that they wanted toget us in a decent school system.
So they worked really hard to get us in thesuburbs.
(01:47):
So we moved to the suburbs, and when I gotthere, all the kids, they had the latest and
greatest gym shoes, jeans, purses, and I wantedsome of that stuff, but we just couldn't afford
it.
So at the time, I think I just subconsciouslymade a pact with myself that I was gonna grow
up, make a lot of money so that I could buywhatever I wanted.
(02:10):
And that's exactly what I did.
My husband and I, when we first met, we wereinstantly 6 figure earners.
For us, that was like being rich because wegrew up both grew up right outside, you know,
in blue collar towns.
So we we bought all the things, spent all themoney, and we were making it work.
We were robbing Paul to pay Peter until we hadtwo kids in daycare, which I'm sure you know,
(02:36):
Jamie, is not cheap.
And the mortgage in the daycare bill wasexactly the same.
Yes.
And so from there, that's when, you know,robbing Paul to pay Peter and juggling those
balls just just wasn't happening anymore.
And I started to just feel stressed andworried.
And more so than anything, I knew I wasn'tgoing to leave a good example for my kids if I
(02:58):
continue down that road.
So I started looking for answers, and I startedgoogling, like, how to get out of debt.
Because at this point, we had over $200,000worth of debt.
About 100 k was student loans, and the rest wasjust consumer debt.
And, of course, when you Google, you get allsorts of answers.
But the one answer that kept coming up was,like, stop buying lattes and stop going on
(03:21):
vacation, and I just couldn't, like, get withthat.
It was just like, why can't I have a latte if Iwork so hard?
So I thought I'd go a different route.
So we ended up filing for chapter 13bankruptcy, and I thought that was going to
solve all of our problems.
It did not.
And so I ended up still needing answers becausechapter 13 doesn't wipe away the debt.
(03:42):
You still have to pay it back over a five yearperiod.
And that's when I just started reading all thebooks, and I'm like, fine.
I'll give up my lattes.
I'll give up everything.
And then I took that plan to my husband, andhe's just like, yes, Jermaine.
We need to do something, but we can't live likethis for the next twenty years because we have
these young boys.
We wanna be able to enjoy our lives.
(04:03):
We have to do something, but we can't do itlike that.
And that's when I came up with the idea thatwhat if we could do both?
What if we could build wealth and enjoy life atthe same time?
What if we of debt vacation sometimes?
What if we could get out of debt or save andinvest and still let our kids participate in
extracurricular activities?
So that's what we did.
(04:24):
And we paid off all the debt, literally all ofit except for our mortgage, and that wasn't
included in the 200,000 anyway.
And now we have over a half a million dollarnetwork that continues to grow, and now I help
other women who are in my same shoes.
They make good money.
They they may be stuck in debt, very littlesavings, and they just don't wanna have to give
(04:46):
up everything and live on a strict budget inorder to build wealth.
It's incredible story.
Incredible story.
I it's amazing how, like, these childhoodexperiences really shape you and mold you into
the person that you are today.
Because I mean, listeners have heard me say ita thousand times, and I've I've talked about it
on other podcasts.
I mean, the reason why I do the work that I do,first and foremost, as a financial planner is
(05:10):
because my parents were the same it was like wehad similar background.
We lived out in the suburbs.
We were out in the boondocks, frankly.
Like, you know, both both of my parents worked.
They worked really hard, multiple jobs.
You know, they ended up getting a divorce whenI was relatively young.
And, you know, I just watched them struggle allmy entire life.
And, like, we never had like, if I wanted thebest shoes or if I wanted, you know, really
(05:31):
cool clothes to wear to school, I I had to workand earn that money for them.
And so I had my first job at 13.
And just go having that experience and justreally having that define me at early age, and
then, you know, of course, going watching themgo through the divorce and the financial
struggles that are associated with that, it'sreally what put me on the path to to doing what
(05:52):
I do today.
And now going from my own divorce, here I am,you know, helping other people navigate the
financial challenges of of theirs.
So it's incredible how you have those thatearly on experience, and it really shapes and
mold you into the person that you are.
And, like, what I'm talk talk about arecomeback stories.
And and so this is what a lot of listeners needto hear.
I mean, you're like because so many people wework with are either preparing for a divorce
(06:16):
and terrified of what it's gonna look like onthe other side, or they've now started going
through negotiations, and they're starting tothink through, like, what the settlement's
gonna look like and what their future life isgonna look like.
So, like, you were able to overcome thatsetback.
What advice would you have for people that arein this particular, like, the this going
through this experience now through divorce andthey have to deal with all the financial
(06:39):
challenges they're gonna be facing?
Like, that's a huge setback.
Like, what what would you are there practicalsteps people can employ to put it behind them
and move on to that next phase without havingto scrimp and scratch to be able to enjoy their
lives?
Yes.
First, I think it needs to start withpossibility and the mindset.
Like, for me, until I just had the moment,like, oh my gosh.
(07:02):
What if I could get my money together and stillfigure out how to enjoy life?
Like, that moment of possibility just opened meup to trying things and being creative.
So you have to have at least a little sliver ofhope so that you are you have the energy to
even take one step forward.
(07:23):
So I think the first thing is, I would say toanyone, is like, wherever you are now, I
promise you, there is light at the end of thetunnel if you keep possibility open and if
you're willing to just take one step at a time.
For us, that was literally just printing offsome bank statements and looking at where all
(07:45):
my money was going.
Like, that was literally the first thing I did.
Mhmm.
In that moment, the world opened up to me.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
We're spending that much on just food.
At the I had two toddlers, two adults, and wewere spending, and this was back in the early
two thousands, fifteen hundred dollars a monthjust on food.
(08:05):
Okay.
So there's some of your money right there.
Were able just from that awareness, we werejust able to, like, slash that in half.
So then that gave us some wiggle room, and thenwe were able to do other things and other
things.
So I think it starts with possibility, and thenI would offer or invite everybody to take me up
on this do both mindset, which means that youcould build wealth and enjoy life at the same
(08:29):
time.
And in order to do that, you first have to getclear on what it actually means for you to
enjoy life.
It doesn't mean that you're gonna spend on anyand everything impulsively just because you
want it.
It means that you get really clear on the mostimportant things to you in this season of life,
(08:49):
and you choose those things to spend your moneyon, and then figure out what financial goal you
wanna work, and you do those two things at thesame time.
And then as your seasons of life progress andchange, those priorities will end up changing
as you go along.
And that's the biggest thing.
Right?
It's like, I I see this happen with, you know,even our traditional financial planning clients
(09:11):
that we've worked with where they're like,you've gotta have that and strategy, that and
mindset.
It's not it's not do I want the latte or do Iget to retire.
Right?
It's like, you gotta figure out there is a wayfor you to have both.
You just need to be really wise andintentional.
I would say it's probably the best word forthis.
Right?
Mhmm.
(09:32):
Yes.
Awareness of what it is that is important toyou.
So a lot of times I'll take my clients througha values exercise, and they'll find out that
family happiness, travel, financial securityare all things that they value.
But then when we look at their bank statement,it's not showing that Mhmm.
All those things are on there.
(09:52):
Sometimes the travel will show up, sometimesthe family happiness will show up, but that
financial security piece is usually lagging.
So just helping people to, like, mesh the twotogether, like, what are your values, and how
are you spending your money, and how can we getthose two things to mirror each other?
That's awesome.
And we we take everybody through a similarexercise.
On the divorce side, we do we we have them gothrough a pro my priorities exercise, which is,
(10:16):
like, just to get an understanding of whattheir what hills do you wanna die on as we're
going down this path and and be taking youthrough the divorce so we can help them plan
accordingly.
And and I'm I'm a big fan of the smart, youknow, framework of of using very specific,
measurable, aligned, realistic, and time boundgoals to really help you achieve something.
(10:38):
And that's where we do on the on thetraditional financial planning side of things.
We use the smart framework, and it has beensuper helpful.
So whatever you use, whatever whatever methodyou use to to be able to get your head in the
right space, I think that's super powerful.
And I guess in that realm, as far as, like, theheadspace and and the way that you're thinking
about this, how do you, like, work withsomebody who just has this this sense of fear
(11:03):
and shame or overwhelm because of the positionthat they're in, whether that's with because of
divorce or not.
How do you get somebody over that hurdle?
Yeah.
So fear is an emotion.
Right?
And, usually, our emotions are coming fromsomething we're thinking and we're feeling
like, something that's going through our head,some thoughts we're having.
And so I had a client who I actually we'reworking together right now.
(11:27):
She's the goal is to get out of credit carddebt, and it's been a little slower than we
anticipated.
And I was just like, hold on, you're making allthis money.
She's a pharmacist, she's doing very wellfinancially.
And I'm like, well, where's the money going?
Because the plan is that it's going on thedebt, and and we just had a real honest
conversation, and she was just like, I've beensaving it.
(11:49):
And I said, why?
She says, because I'm scared.
I asked, what are you scared of?
She's like, that something drastic will happen.
And then I said, okay.
Tell me what is something drastic.
So you just get deeper and deeper into thosethoughts.
And for her, it was maybe I would get a flattire.
Maybe there's an expense that will come up andI won't have the money.
And then I was able to show her, like,actually, with the savings you have already,
(12:13):
you have more than enough to cover thosethings.
And sometimes fear is a good thing because it'syour brain saying, hey.
Are we safe?
And you sometimes just have to remind yourbrain, yes.
We're safe.
I have this chunk of cash right here for oursafety, for our security.
So it's safe for us to use a little bit of thisor or the the remainder of the money I have
(12:36):
every month at this in this season of my lifeto pay down my high interest debt.
And once we were able to get to the underlyingcause of the fear and to show her that she was
actually prepared for that fear, she was ableto start really going to town on that credit
card debt.
Amazing.
(12:56):
Yeah.
I I hate to bring this question up because I Ionly agree with a very small amount of things
that this person says all the time.
I think most of it's garbage, but you're you'rereminding me of the Dave Ramsey get snowball
type of thing.
Right?
Like, where it's like, I don't know if you usethis in your own scenario, but I know that a
(13:19):
lot of my clients have used in the past.
And in some cases, we've even used it to try tohelp our clients get out of debt where it's
like, pay off your high interest credit cardsfirst and you get that momentum and so on.
Is that kind of intertwined with with the workyou like, because you have this emergency
reserve here.
Right?
And then once that's you have that pile ofmoney, so to speak, to be able to cover those
expenses, is that the approach that you did isthat the approach that you take with some of
(13:41):
your clients of, like, let's figure out, like,high interest credit cards or high interest
student loans, what whatever it is.
Like, how are you what are the like, how areyou tackling this debt?
Because Yes.
You're at the bottom of this mountain and thetop of it seems so high.
How are you getting that momentum?
Because that's what it's really all about,right, is that momentum.
Absolutely.
Okay.
So I have to tell you that I think Dave Ramseyshould get so much credit for just getting
(14:07):
people to think about their money and, like,person but I couldn't like I told you, I'm a
I'm a do both girl.
Like, I can't go on rice and beans.
I can't do any most of what he says, but Ithink he deserves credit because he gets people
at least thinking about it.
Sure.
Now what I will say is that I this is how Iteach my clients.
(14:28):
I'll just give you the process.
I think everyone should have a chunk of moneyin a high yield savings account that will at
least account for one year I mean, I'm sorry,one month of expenses.
So let's say it costs you $5,000 to live yourlife.
That's your necessities.
We're not really talking about luxuries at thispoint.
Then let's put that in a high yield savingsaccount, and that is what you have.
(14:51):
So for this client I was I'm just talking toyou about, she had more than that because she
feels comfortable having a little more.
So she's fine there.
And then we go to the high interest debt.
I don't count all debt the same.
I don't the high interest debt, like that 20%,30% credit card debt, we wanna get rid of
those.
I do think you should be investing while you'redoing all of this, getting your match,
(15:12):
especially if you have a four zero one k.
Like, why would you not get your match?
And then we go from there.
Once the debt is paid off, we go back and, youknow, get a a nice maybe six month emergency
fund and then really beef up investing andthings like that.
So, yeah, that's kind of how that's theprocess.
It's I love the order of operations because itreally is an order of operations.
(15:32):
Right?
So you follow the same thing where it's like,you've gotta go you start here and you go here,
and then once you've done that, it's it's I Ilove it.
Is that what you would call your signaturewealth process, or is that a different because
I I I did some research on on your like, whatlike, what is is that your main process, or is
that just an example you were giving
us?
Yeah.
That's what I yes.
(15:53):
That's my process.
I think that's my do both process.
Because and then that whole way, you're stillable to spend money on things that are
important to you.
So there's some nuances in there around, youknow, spending, having your own spending
account for fun money, and you're saving, allthat stuff.
And I also think that you should even whileyou're getting out of debt, you should still be
(16:14):
saving something because of it's a mentalskill.
It's a habit that you just don't wanna break.
I'll tell you a quick story.
So I followed a little bit of what Dave Ramseysaid around when we were getting out of debt.
Like, I had a certain amount in the bank morethan he suggests, but then I just completely
focused on getting out of debt.
And once we were done, I was like, oh, now I'mgonna be able to really save.
(16:37):
I couldn't because it was so psychologicallyprogrammed in me that money goes comes into me
and it leaves me.
Even though I was spending it on, you know,paying off debt, which was good, I wasn't used
to having money and keeping money.
I didn't have that habit.
So I never want people to lose the habit ofalways giving saving something.
I get that.
I get that.
(16:57):
It's always like you're you're kinda onautopilot.
Right?
Like, the money goes in,
the money
goes out, and that's how your life is, and it'sso different difficult to manage especially in
in I just I just had this conversation withanother podcast guest a couple days ago, and
she brought up this concept of the scarcitymindset.
Yeah.
And I'm not really big on the whole like, Imean, I I I get it, and I understand the
(17:20):
psycholog the psychology behind money and andand behavioral finance, and I understand all
that.
But I never really looked at it through thelens of me personally.
And I don't if you've ever had this experienceyourself given your background and that you're
the way you grew up, but she hit she, like,pinned me down with this.
I was like, you you know exactly how I feelabout this.
(17:40):
It's a scarcity mindset where it's like, Ikinda felt that way too for a very long time
where it's like, money's gonna come in.
It's gonna go out.
We're gonna give it to the kids.
We're gonna give it to here.
We're gonna give it to taxes.
We're gonna do this.
Like, the money just goes.
And it was almost like I didn't I because ofthe way I grew up, I was like, this is just how
I'm gonna be.
Right?
Like, I can help a thousand other people managetheir own money, but, like, I I need to change
(18:03):
my own mindset on that.
So it's like and she just brought it up theother day in a conversation.
I was like, wow.
This is like, I'm glad I fixed it for myself.
I had but I had never really thought it throughit that way.
Do you do you have any experience with that orany any of your clients deal
with that?
For sure.
You mentioned at the beginning, I'm a certifiedlife coach.
So a lot I do is from that, like, psychologicalspace too because I think we can tell people
(18:24):
what to do all day long with their money.
You can Google how to get out of debt, how tobuild a budget, but doing it is one other is a
whole another thing.
So our brains like to be in the familiar.
So if you're if you're used to, like, nothaving money on hand, your brain is like, that
(18:44):
must be the way to go because we are surviving.
Without money, it might be dangerous.
I know it sounds very irrational right now, butyour brain is not the lower part of your brain
is not rational at all.
It's thinking like, oh, if we have a lot ofmoney, that might be dangerous.
Like, that is what it is.
And so you have to, like, reprogram what'sfamiliar to you.
(19:08):
So when I was getting out of debt, we were usedto only having a few thousand dollars, and
anything above that was unfamiliar.
And every time we had the opportunity to buildthat savings up, something would happen.
We would spend it.
There would be an emergency.
And then I had to kinda, like, wake up to it,like, oh, I just need to reprogram my brain to
be now really uncomfortable having that smallamount of money, and now, you know, comfortable
(19:33):
having way more.
So it's practice, it's consciousness, it's youmentioned this earlier, intention to notice
what's happening and then to decide you'regonna break out of it even though it's gonna be
uncomfortable to do so.
Yeah.
And it is uncomfortable sometimes.
What are the you must deal with a lot of peoplegoing through divorce or recovering from it
(19:54):
just like just like we do.
And what are some of the most, I I guess,prominent or the most the most the most the
traps people fall into.
Right?
Like so, like, the there has to be, like like,here are the hot the the the number one traps
that people fall into because you go from thisexperience of being a dual income family in
(20:16):
most cases.
Right?
Or you're, you know, stay at home mom, stay athome stay at home father, and and and you you
you have this in it's it's the way that you'vedone things.
Right?
Like, one person pays the bills, one personearns the money or whatever it is.
Right?
And then all of sudden, you go to, like, thatlife is over, and you've gotta figure it all
out on your own.
You've gotta if you weren't the one paying thebills, you've gotta figure out how to do that.
(20:38):
If you weren't the one budgeting, you've nowgotta figure that.
Like, so what are some of, like, the moneytraps people most fall fall into the most?
So I I I can think of three examples just offthe top of my head.
One is that the person tries to, like, make upfor it, especially if there's kids involved.
They try to make up for it.
Like, oh, you know, I work primarily withwomen.
(21:00):
So I have one client that was just like, thedad's not involved.
The dad's not doing so.
I feel like I have to make up for it, andthat's financially.
So they're spending a bunch of money.
They're doing a bunch of things.
They're overcompensating for the divorce orwhat they think, you know, the kids are going
through.
So that's that's a trap, I think, right there.
Do you ever see that?
It's the, you know, the Disneyland dad orDisney dad, what they is what they call it.
(21:24):
Yes.
I have my kids on the weekends or every otherweekend or whatever it is, so I wanna make sure
I'm I'm over compensating for Mhmm.
For my not being there on daily.
So I I see that happen a lot for sure.
Yeah.
And then I I can think of another situationwhere the dad or the husband was making all the
money.
The mom would stay at home, and she fell into atrap.
(21:46):
Like, I'm I'm only a single mom.
Like, almost like as a victim.
Like like, she wouldn't be able to overcome,that she wouldn't be able to make it.
And with her, it was it was definitely helpingher to see her self worth, helping her to see
that she can be an amazing mom.
You know?
Let's just call you a mom instead of callingyou a single mom because that's what you are.
(22:07):
A lot of just little, like, societal messagesthat we get about, you know, single moms and
things like that, she was really taking thaton.
And now, like, she's actually remarried at thispoint, but between that time frame, she started
her own business, she made more money than shehad ever made, just from tweaking the way she
thought about herself and her capabilities oftaking care of her family.
(22:31):
So, yeah, I think a lot of what people can fallinto, it starts with the thinking and, like,
the mindset.
Yeah.
I can and, you know, the other thing the thingI will say too is nobody likes a naysayer, but
I'm gonna say this.
In our world as financial advisers, you know, Iused to coach and train advisers.
I've worked with thousands of them, hundreds ofthem over my over my twenty year career.
(22:53):
And there are some really good ones, and thereare some really bad ones that are out there.
And if you're exploring the opportunity of, youknow, exploring the option of working with a of
a of a financial adviser or, you know, a adivorce coach or financial coach, whomever,
you've gotta do your due diligence.
Because one of the traps that I see some peoplefall into after the divorce is they become easy
(23:16):
prey.
And I think through, like, some of the womenthat I've worked with and that that are now
working with me on the wealth management sideof things, having gone somewhere else, I really
I I don't know where they would end up.
Like, would they be getting good financialadvice?
Would they be taken advantage of?
Would they be sold the next hot thing that theadviser needs to sell them?
(23:38):
Some or some, you know, these TikTok gurus thatare out there with all this amazing financial
information, like, how to leverage insuranceand all this other stuff.
It like, come on.
I mean, some of the stuff that belongs in afinancial plan, but most of it that you're
listening to out there on TikTok in the worldof finance is garbage.
And that's where these people get their advice.
So you've gotta be, I think, long winded way ofme saying one of the traps I see people falling
(24:03):
into is they trust the wrong people when thedust settles on the divorce, and they and it
can really hurt.
Yeah.
Because I can see why, especially if theyweren't used to handling money and they don't
kinda going to my single mom example where shedidn't think she was able and capable, like,
think you need to abdicate your financialdecisions to someone else who seems like they
(24:25):
have it all together or have some credentials.
When the truth is, like, I would urge everywoman to not invest or buy anything you don't
fully understand.
And don't let anyone make you feel stupid, I'musing air quotes stupid for not knowing or dumb
for asking because it's your money and youshould know exactly what you're doing with it.
(24:50):
Yeah.
Don't don't let anybody.
And that could come from just thinking thatthey don't have what it takes or they don't
know or they're bad with money.
All those narratives that we can just let goof.
Oh, I love it.
Amazing advice.
I used to tell people all the time because Iwould I would come across when I worked at I
worked at a big name company before I startedmy own firm, and I had somewhere between four
(25:12):
hundred and four hundred fifty clients.
And you wouldn't believe some of the garbagethat I've seen people come to us with and or
maybe even some former advisers at that samefirm sold them this stuff, and I'm like, what
the heck is it?
What there's no rationale for this.
And my question back to them was always like,do you understand what you own and why you own
(25:32):
it?
And if you can't answer that question for me,we're probably gonna try to do what we can to
get you out of it.
And and that that so that would be, yeah, justto piggyback on what you said.
If you explain that investment strategy oryou're doing something or why you're investing
your money in such a way, we've gotta we'vegotta help educate you, right, and and help you
(25:53):
as coaches and as financial planners, help youunderstand the rationale for it.
But if you truly don't understand it, maybeit's not a fit because we don't like, the good
advisers out there, they wanna do what's in thebest interest of all their clients at all
times.
And and by selling a bunch of garbage and stuffthat's just so esoteric and laden with fees and
everything else, that's that's not always theright way to go.
(26:15):
So thank you for bringing that up.
It's it's an amazing point.
This is the carte blanche segment of our chattoo.
So is there anything that I didn't ask you thatyou wanna share or any questions I should have
asked you that you wanna answer for ourlisteners?
Yeah.
So you asked me the traps.
One of the traps I think we can fall into ifyou're going through a divorce or not or, you
(26:39):
know, post divorce is emotional spending.
And that is one of the things I think Ispecialize in, is helping people who overspend,
impulse spend, and emotionally spend.
Because, listen, divorce is hard.
And sometimes the emotions are there, thesadness, the grief of, you know, loss of the
relationship, the anger, the guilt, the shame,all the things.
(27:02):
Right?
And sometimes you just wanna feel better.
And retail therapy is called retail therapy fora reason because it does temporarily take your
mind off of things.
It does temporarily give you a dopamine hit.
But it's very short lived, and on the back end,there are all these financial consequences that
(27:23):
you have to deal with.
So I would caution, like, if people arelistening and they find themselves doing a lot
of spending, a lot of shopping, that can bedetrimental for your to your financial
well-being as well.
And know that there's nothing wrong with you ifyou're doing that.
You're just trying to feel better, which isnormal, but there are other ways to do so.
(27:43):
Oh, love it.
That dopamine hit will get you every time onit.
Yes.
And
how do people get in touch with you if theywanna learn more about the work you do and and
maybe work with you moving forward?
Yeah.
So my name is again Jermaine Foley, and I havea free class called how to build wealth without
going on a strict budget.
And you can go to my website to grab it, I'llgive you the link, but I'll say it as well.
(28:07):
It's germainefoley.com/wealthclass, and that'sgermane with a g.
Love it.
Thanks so much for joining us today.
Amazing conversation.
We're gonna have to have you back because Ithink we only scratched the surface on some of
the some of the things that we we can andshould be talking about.
So thank you so much for for joining us todayand for sharing your story and all the wisdom
(28:29):
that you have around financial recovery andfreedom.
For our listeners that are out there ready torebuild their financial life after divorce, be
sure to check out Jermaine's free training atjermainefoley.com/wealthclass like she
mentioned.
Follow her on Instagram at Jermaine Foleycoaching, and visit her website for coaching
and resources.
Don't worry.
We're gonna put all the links in the show notesfor you.
And if you're looking for financial clarity andplanning support during your divorce, we here
(28:53):
at Allegiant Divorce Solutions are always hereto help.
Visit allegiantds.com to learn more.
Don't forget to subscribe to Broke Up NotBroken for more empowering conversations like
this.
Until next time.
Welcome back to another episode of Broke Up NotBroken.
(00:02):
I'm your host, Jamie Lima, and founder ofAllegiant Divorce Solutions, where we help
people prepare for, navigate, and recoverfinancially from divorce.
This podcast is your one stop shop formastering your life and your finances
throughout the entire divorce process.
Today's guest is Jermaine Foley, a certifiedlife and money coach who specializes in helping
(00:24):
women build wealth without sacrificing the joysof their life.
Jermaine's journey from 6 figure income and 6figure debt to lasting financial freedom is not
only powerful, but it's also practical.
She now helps others rebuild financialconfidence and create wealth after major life
transitions, including divorce.
So grab a cup of coffee or your beverage ofchoice, buckle up, and let's once again get you
(00:46):
personally and financially empowered.
Jermaine, it is so good to have you here withus today.
Thank you for having me, Jamie.
I'm excited.
Yeah.
I'm excited to have you because, you know, youwe're cut from the same cloth in a lot of ways
here with our financial background and me beinga financial planner.
Up twenty twenty one years this year, I've beena financial planner.
(01:06):
So that's where all the gray and the beardcomes from.
So you luckily don't have that problem, but Iknow you have a lot of experience in the world
of of coaching people and through all thefinancial decisions that they have to make and
help them build wealth and so on.
And sounds like you had a a little bit of arough road there that brought you to where you
(01:26):
are.
So maybe we start there.
We'll we'll see where the conversation goesfrom that point.
Yes.
Absolutely.
So I grew up right outside of Detroit in a bluecollar town, and my family knew that they
wanted to my parents knew that they wanted toget us in a decent school system.
So they worked really hard to get us in thesuburbs.
(01:47):
So we moved to the suburbs, and when I gotthere, all the kids, they had the latest and
greatest gym shoes, jeans, purses, and I wantedsome of that stuff, but we just couldn't afford
it.
So at the time, I think I just subconsciouslymade a pact with myself that I was gonna grow
up, make a lot of money so that I could buywhatever I wanted.
(02:10):
And that's exactly what I did.
My husband and I, when we first met, we wereinstantly 6 figure earners.
For us, that was like being rich because wegrew up both grew up right outside, you know,
in blue collar towns.
So we we bought all the things, spent all themoney, and we were making it work.
We were robbing Paul to pay Peter until we hadtwo kids in daycare, which I'm sure you know,
(02:36):
Jamie, is not cheap.
And the mortgage in the daycare bill wasexactly the same.
Yes.
And so from there, that's when, you know,robbing Paul to pay Peter and juggling those
balls just just wasn't happening anymore.
And I started to just feel stressed andworried.
And more so than anything, I knew I wasn'tgoing to leave a good example for my kids if I
(02:58):
continue down that road.
So I started looking for answers, and I startedgoogling, like, how to get out of debt.
Because at this point, we had over $200,000worth of debt.
About 100 k was student loans, and the rest wasjust consumer debt.
And, of course, when you Google, you get allsorts of answers.
But the one answer that kept coming up was,like, stop buying lattes and stop going on
(03:21):
vacation, and I just couldn't, like, get withthat.
It was just like, why can't I have a latte if Iwork so hard?
So I thought I'd go a different route.
So we ended up filing for chapter 13bankruptcy, and I thought that was going to
solve all of our problems.
It did not.
And so I ended up still needing answers becausechapter 13 doesn't wipe away the debt.
(03:42):
You still have to pay it back over a five yearperiod.
And that's when I just started reading all thebooks, and I'm like, fine.
I'll give up my lattes.
I'll give up everything.
And then I took that plan to my husband, andhe's just like, yes, Jermaine.
We need to do something, but we can't live likethis for the next twenty years because we have
these young boys.
We wanna be able to enjoy our lives.
(04:03):
We have to do something, but we can't do itlike that.
And that's when I came up with the idea thatwhat if we could do both?
What if we could build wealth and enjoy life atthe same time?
What if we of debt vacation sometimes?
What if we could get out of debt or save andinvest and still let our kids participate in
extracurricular activities?
So that's what we did.
(04:24):
And we paid off all the debt, literally all ofit except for our mortgage, and that wasn't
included in the 200,000 anyway.
And now we have over a half a million dollarnetwork that continues to grow, and now I help
other women who are in my same shoes.
They make good money.
They they may be stuck in debt, very littlesavings, and they just don't wanna have to give
(04:46):
up everything and live on a strict budget inorder to build wealth.
It's incredible story.
Incredible story.
I it's amazing how, like, these childhoodexperiences really shape you and mold you into
the person that you are today.
Because I mean, listeners have heard me say ita thousand times, and I've I've talked about it
on other podcasts.
I mean, the reason why I do the work that I do,first and foremost, as a financial planner is
(05:10):
because my parents were the same it was like wehad similar background.
We lived out in the suburbs.
We were out in the boondocks, frankly.
Like, you know, both both of my parents worked.
They worked really hard, multiple jobs.
You know, they ended up getting a divorce whenI was relatively young.
And, you know, I just watched them struggle allmy entire life.
And, like, we never had like, if I wanted thebest shoes or if I wanted, you know, really
(05:31):
cool clothes to wear to school, I I had to workand earn that money for them.
And so I had my first job at 13.
And just go having that experience and justreally having that define me at early age, and
then, you know, of course, going watching themgo through the divorce and the financial
struggles that are associated with that, it'sreally what put me on the path to to doing what
(05:52):
I do today.
And now going from my own divorce, here I am,you know, helping other people navigate the
financial challenges of of theirs.
So it's incredible how you have those thatearly on experience, and it really shapes and
mold you into the person that you are.
And, like, what I'm talk talk about arecomeback stories.
And and so this is what a lot of listeners needto hear.
I mean, you're like because so many people wework with are either preparing for a divorce
(06:16):
and terrified of what it's gonna look like onthe other side, or they've now started going
through negotiations, and they're starting tothink through, like, what the settlement's
gonna look like and what their future life isgonna look like.
So, like, you were able to overcome thatsetback.
What advice would you have for people that arein this particular, like, the this going
through this experience now through divorce andthey have to deal with all the financial
(06:39):
challenges they're gonna be facing?
Like, that's a huge setback.
Like, what what would you are there practicalsteps people can employ to put it behind them
and move on to that next phase without havingto scrimp and scratch to be able to enjoy their
lives?
Yes.
First, I think it needs to start withpossibility and the mindset.
Like, for me, until I just had the moment,like, oh my gosh.
(07:02):
What if I could get my money together and stillfigure out how to enjoy life?
Like, that moment of possibility just opened meup to trying things and being creative.
So you have to have at least a little sliver ofhope so that you are you have the energy to
even take one step forward.
(07:23):
So I think the first thing is, I would say toanyone, is like, wherever you are now, I
promise you, there is light at the end of thetunnel if you keep possibility open and if
you're willing to just take one step at a time.
For us, that was literally just printing offsome bank statements and looking at where all
(07:45):
my money was going.
Like, that was literally the first thing I did.
Mhmm.
In that moment, the world opened up to me.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
We're spending that much on just food.
At the I had two toddlers, two adults, and wewere spending, and this was back in the early
two thousands, fifteen hundred dollars a monthjust on food.
(08:05):
Okay.
So there's some of your money right there.
Were able just from that awareness, we werejust able to, like, slash that in half.
So then that gave us some wiggle room, and thenwe were able to do other things and other
things.
So I think it starts with possibility, and thenI would offer or invite everybody to take me up
on this do both mindset, which means that youcould build wealth and enjoy life at the same
(08:29):
time.
And in order to do that, you first have to getclear on what it actually means for you to
enjoy life.
It doesn't mean that you're gonna spend on anyand everything impulsively just because you
want it.
It means that you get really clear on the mostimportant things to you in this season of life,
(08:49):
and you choose those things to spend your moneyon, and then figure out what financial goal you
wanna work, and you do those two things at thesame time.
And then as your seasons of life progress andchange, those priorities will end up changing
as you go along.
And that's the biggest thing.
Right?
It's like, I I see this happen with, you know,even our traditional financial planning clients
(09:11):
that we've worked with where they're like,you've gotta have that and strategy, that and
mindset.
It's not it's not do I want the latte or do Iget to retire.
Right?
It's like, you gotta figure out there is a wayfor you to have both.
You just need to be really wise andintentional.
I would say it's probably the best word forthis.
Right?
Mhmm.
(09:32):
Yes.
Awareness of what it is that is important toyou.
So a lot of times I'll take my clients througha values exercise, and they'll find out that
family happiness, travel, financial securityare all things that they value.
But then when we look at their bank statement,it's not showing that Mhmm.
All those things are on there.
(09:52):
Sometimes the travel will show up, sometimesthe family happiness will show up, but that
financial security piece is usually lagging.
So just helping people to, like, mesh the twotogether, like, what are your values, and how
are you spending your money, and how can we getthose two things to mirror each other?
That's awesome.
And we we take everybody through a similarexercise.
On the divorce side, we do we we have them gothrough a pro my priorities exercise, which is,
(10:16):
like, just to get an understanding of whattheir what hills do you wanna die on as we're
going down this path and and be taking youthrough the divorce so we can help them plan
accordingly.
And and I'm I'm a big fan of the smart, youknow, framework of of using very specific,
measurable, aligned, realistic, and time boundgoals to really help you achieve something.
(10:38):
And that's where we do on the on thetraditional financial planning side of things.
We use the smart framework, and it has beensuper helpful.
So whatever you use, whatever whatever methodyou use to to be able to get your head in the
right space, I think that's super powerful.
And I guess in that realm, as far as, like, theheadspace and and the way that you're thinking
about this, how do you, like, work withsomebody who just has this this sense of fear
(11:03):
and shame or overwhelm because of the positionthat they're in, whether that's with because of
divorce or not.
How do you get somebody over that hurdle?
Yeah.
So fear is an emotion.
Right?
And, usually, our emotions are coming fromsomething we're thinking and we're feeling
like, something that's going through our head,some thoughts we're having.
And so I had a client who I actually we'reworking together right now.
(11:27):
She's the goal is to get out of credit carddebt, and it's been a little slower than we
anticipated.
And I was just like, hold on, you're making allthis money.
She's a pharmacist, she's doing very wellfinancially.
And I'm like, well, where's the money going?
Because the plan is that it's going on thedebt, and and we just had a real honest
conversation, and she was just like, I've beensaving it.
(11:49):
And I said, why?
She says, because I'm scared.
I asked, what are you scared of?
She's like, that something drastic will happen.
And then I said, okay.
Tell me what is something drastic.
So you just get deeper and deeper into thosethoughts.
And for her, it was maybe I would get a flattire.
Maybe there's an expense that will come up andI won't have the money.
And then I was able to show her, like,actually, with the savings you have already,
(12:13):
you have more than enough to cover thosethings.
And sometimes fear is a good thing because it'syour brain saying, hey.
Are we safe?
And you sometimes just have to remind yourbrain, yes.
We're safe.
I have this chunk of cash right here for oursafety, for our security.
So it's safe for us to use a little bit of thisor or the the remainder of the money I have
(12:36):
every month at this in this season of my lifeto pay down my high interest debt.
And once we were able to get to the underlyingcause of the fear and to show her that she was
actually prepared for that fear, she was ableto start really going to town on that credit
card debt.
Amazing.
(12:56):
Yeah.
I I hate to bring this question up because I Ionly agree with a very small amount of things
that this person says all the time.
I think most of it's garbage, but you're you'rereminding me of the Dave Ramsey get snowball
type of thing.
Right?
Like, where it's like, I don't know if you usethis in your own scenario, but I know that a
(13:19):
lot of my clients have used in the past.
And in some cases, we've even used it to try tohelp our clients get out of debt where it's
like, pay off your high interest credit cardsfirst and you get that momentum and so on.
Is that kind of intertwined with with the workyou like, because you have this emergency
reserve here.
Right?
And then once that's you have that pile ofmoney, so to speak, to be able to cover those
expenses, is that the approach that you did isthat the approach that you take with some of
(13:41):
your clients of, like, let's figure out, like,high interest credit cards or high interest
student loans, what whatever it is.
Like, how are you what are the like, how areyou tackling this debt?
Because Yes.
You're at the bottom of this mountain and thetop of it seems so high.
How are you getting that momentum?
Because that's what it's really all about,right, is that momentum.
Absolutely.
Okay.
So I have to tell you that I think Dave Ramseyshould get so much credit for just getting
(14:07):
people to think about their money and, like,person but I couldn't like I told you, I'm a
I'm a do both girl.
Like, I can't go on rice and beans.
I can't do any most of what he says, but Ithink he deserves credit because he gets people
at least thinking about it.
Sure.
Now what I will say is that I this is how Iteach my clients.
(14:28):
I'll just give you the process.
I think everyone should have a chunk of moneyin a high yield savings account that will at
least account for one year I mean, I'm sorry,one month of expenses.
So let's say it costs you $5,000 to live yourlife.
That's your necessities.
We're not really talking about luxuries at thispoint.
Then let's put that in a high yield savingsaccount, and that is what you have.
(14:51):
So for this client I was I'm just talking toyou about, she had more than that because she
feels comfortable having a little more.
So she's fine there.
And then we go to the high interest debt.
I don't count all debt the same.
I don't the high interest debt, like that 20%,30% credit card debt, we wanna get rid of
those.
I do think you should be investing while you'redoing all of this, getting your match,
(15:12):
especially if you have a four zero one k.
Like, why would you not get your match?
And then we go from there.
Once the debt is paid off, we go back and, youknow, get a a nice maybe six month emergency
fund and then really beef up investing andthings like that.
So, yeah, that's kind of how that's theprocess.
It's I love the order of operations because itreally is an order of operations.
(15:32):
Right?
So you follow the same thing where it's like,you've gotta go you start here and you go here,
and then once you've done that, it's it's I Ilove it.
Is that what you would call your signaturewealth process, or is that a different because
I I I did some research on on your like, whatlike, what is is that your main process, or is
that just an example you were giving
us?
Yeah.
That's what I yes.
(15:53):
That's my process.
I think that's my do both process.
Because and then that whole way, you're stillable to spend money on things that are
important to you.
So there's some nuances in there around, youknow, spending, having your own spending
account for fun money, and you're saving, allthat stuff.
And I also think that you should even whileyou're getting out of debt, you should still be
(16:14):
saving something because of it's a mentalskill.
It's a habit that you just don't wanna break.
I'll tell you a quick story.
So I followed a little bit of what Dave Ramseysaid around when we were getting out of debt.
Like, I had a certain amount in the bank morethan he suggests, but then I just completely
focused on getting out of debt.
And once we were done, I was like, oh, now I'mgonna be able to really save.
(16:37):
I couldn't because it was so psychologicallyprogrammed in me that money goes comes into me
and it leaves me.
Even though I was spending it on, you know,paying off debt, which was good, I wasn't used
to having money and keeping money.
I didn't have that habit.
So I never want people to lose the habit ofalways giving saving something.
I get that.
I get that.
(16:57):
It's always like you're you're kinda onautopilot.
Right?
Like, the money goes in,
the money
goes out, and that's how your life is, and it'sso different difficult to manage especially in
in I just I just had this conversation withanother podcast guest a couple days ago, and
she brought up this concept of the scarcitymindset.
Yeah.
And I'm not really big on the whole like, Imean, I I I get it, and I understand the
(17:20):
psycholog the psychology behind money and andand behavioral finance, and I understand all
that.
But I never really looked at it through thelens of me personally.
And I don't if you've ever had this experienceyourself given your background and that you're
the way you grew up, but she hit she, like,pinned me down with this.
I was like, you you know exactly how I feelabout this.
(17:40):
It's a scarcity mindset where it's like, Ikinda felt that way too for a very long time
where it's like, money's gonna come in.
It's gonna go out.
We're gonna give it to the kids.
We're gonna give it to here.
We're gonna give it to taxes.
We're gonna do this.
Like, the money just goes.
And it was almost like I didn't I because ofthe way I grew up, I was like, this is just how
I'm gonna be.
Right?
Like, I can help a thousand other people managetheir own money, but, like, I I need to change
(18:03):
my own mindset on that.
So it's like and she just brought it up theother day in a conversation.
I was like, wow.
This is like, I'm glad I fixed it for myself.
I had but I had never really thought it throughit that way.
Do you do you have any experience with that orany any of your clients deal
with that?
For sure.
You mentioned at the beginning, I'm a certifiedlife coach.
So a lot I do is from that, like, psychologicalspace too because I think we can tell people
(18:24):
what to do all day long with their money.
You can Google how to get out of debt, how tobuild a budget, but doing it is one other is a
whole another thing.
So our brains like to be in the familiar.
So if you're if you're used to, like, nothaving money on hand, your brain is like, that
(18:44):
must be the way to go because we are surviving.
Without money, it might be dangerous.
I know it sounds very irrational right now, butyour brain is not the lower part of your brain
is not rational at all.
It's thinking like, oh, if we have a lot ofmoney, that might be dangerous.
Like, that is what it is.
And so you have to, like, reprogram what'sfamiliar to you.
(19:08):
So when I was getting out of debt, we were usedto only having a few thousand dollars, and
anything above that was unfamiliar.
And every time we had the opportunity to buildthat savings up, something would happen.
We would spend it.
There would be an emergency.
And then I had to kinda, like, wake up to it,like, oh, I just need to reprogram my brain to
be now really uncomfortable having that smallamount of money, and now, you know, comfortable
(19:33):
having way more.
So it's practice, it's consciousness, it's youmentioned this earlier, intention to notice
what's happening and then to decide you'regonna break out of it even though it's gonna be
uncomfortable to do so.
Yeah.
And it is uncomfortable sometimes.
What are the you must deal with a lot of peoplegoing through divorce or recovering from it
(19:54):
just like just like we do.
And what are some of the most, I I guess,prominent or the most the most the most the
traps people fall into.
Right?
Like so, like, the there has to be, like like,here are the hot the the the number one traps
that people fall into because you go from thisexperience of being a dual income family in
(20:16):
most cases.
Right?
Or you're, you know, stay at home mom, stay athome stay at home father, and and and you you
you have this in it's it's the way that you'vedone things.
Right?
Like, one person pays the bills, one personearns the money or whatever it is.
Right?
And then all of sudden, you go to, like, thatlife is over, and you've gotta figure it all
out on your own.
You've gotta if you weren't the one paying thebills, you've gotta figure out how to do that.
(20:38):
If you weren't the one budgeting, you've nowgotta figure that.
Like, so what are some of, like, the moneytraps people most fall fall into the most?
So I I I can think of three examples just offthe top of my head.
One is that the person tries to, like, make upfor it, especially if there's kids involved.
They try to make up for it.
Like, oh, you know, I work primarily withwomen.
(21:00):
So I have one client that was just like, thedad's not involved.
The dad's not doing so.
I feel like I have to make up for it, andthat's financially.
So they're spending a bunch of money.
They're doing a bunch of things.
They're overcompensating for the divorce orwhat they think, you know, the kids are going
through.
So that's that's a trap, I think, right there.
Do you ever see that?
It's the, you know, the Disneyland dad orDisney dad, what they is what they call it.
(21:24):
Yes.
I have my kids on the weekends or every otherweekend or whatever it is, so I wanna make sure
I'm I'm over compensating for Mhmm.
For my not being there on daily.
So I I see that happen a lot for sure.
Yeah.
And then I I can think of another situationwhere the dad or the husband was making all the
money.
The mom would stay at home, and she fell into atrap.
(21:46):
Like, I'm I'm only a single mom.
Like, almost like as a victim.
Like like, she wouldn't be able to overcome,that she wouldn't be able to make it.
And with her, it was it was definitely helpingher to see her self worth, helping her to see
that she can be an amazing mom.
You know?
Let's just call you a mom instead of callingyou a single mom because that's what you are.
(22:07):
A lot of just little, like, societal messagesthat we get about, you know, single moms and
things like that, she was really taking thaton.
And now, like, she's actually remarried at thispoint, but between that time frame, she started
her own business, she made more money than shehad ever made, just from tweaking the way she
thought about herself and her capabilities oftaking care of her family.
(22:31):
So, yeah, I think a lot of what people can fallinto, it starts with the thinking and, like,
the mindset.
Yeah.
I can and, you know, the other thing the thingI will say too is nobody likes a naysayer, but
I'm gonna say this.
In our world as financial advisers, you know, Iused to coach and train advisers.
I've worked with thousands of them, hundreds ofthem over my over my twenty year career.
(22:53):
And there are some really good ones, and thereare some really bad ones that are out there.
And if you're exploring the opportunity of, youknow, exploring the option of working with a of
a of a financial adviser or, you know, a adivorce coach or financial coach, whomever,
you've gotta do your due diligence.
Because one of the traps that I see some peoplefall into after the divorce is they become easy
(23:16):
prey.
And I think through, like, some of the womenthat I've worked with and that that are now
working with me on the wealth management sideof things, having gone somewhere else, I really
I I don't know where they would end up.
Like, would they be getting good financialadvice?
Would they be taken advantage of?
Would they be sold the next hot thing that theadviser needs to sell them?
(23:38):
Some or some, you know, these TikTok gurus thatare out there with all this amazing financial
information, like, how to leverage insuranceand all this other stuff.
It like, come on.
I mean, some of the stuff that belongs in afinancial plan, but most of it that you're
listening to out there on TikTok in the worldof finance is garbage.
And that's where these people get their advice.
So you've gotta be, I think, long winded way ofme saying one of the traps I see people falling
(24:03):
into is they trust the wrong people when thedust settles on the divorce, and they and it
can really hurt.
Yeah.
Because I can see why, especially if theyweren't used to handling money and they don't
kinda going to my single mom example where shedidn't think she was able and capable, like,
think you need to abdicate your financialdecisions to someone else who seems like they
(24:25):
have it all together or have some credentials.
When the truth is, like, I would urge everywoman to not invest or buy anything you don't
fully understand.
And don't let anyone make you feel stupid, I'musing air quotes stupid for not knowing or dumb
for asking because it's your money and youshould know exactly what you're doing with it.
(24:50):
Yeah.
Don't don't let anybody.
And that could come from just thinking thatthey don't have what it takes or they don't
know or they're bad with money.
All those narratives that we can just let goof.
Oh, I love it.
Amazing advice.
I used to tell people all the time because Iwould I would come across when I worked at I
worked at a big name company before I startedmy own firm, and I had somewhere between four
(25:12):
hundred and four hundred fifty clients.
And you wouldn't believe some of the garbagethat I've seen people come to us with and or
maybe even some former advisers at that samefirm sold them this stuff, and I'm like, what
the heck is it?
What there's no rationale for this.
And my question back to them was always like,do you understand what you own and why you own
(25:32):
it?
And if you can't answer that question for me,we're probably gonna try to do what we can to
get you out of it.
And and that that so that would be, yeah, justto piggyback on what you said.
If you explain that investment strategy oryou're doing something or why you're investing
your money in such a way, we've gotta we'vegotta help educate you, right, and and help you
(25:53):
as coaches and as financial planners, help youunderstand the rationale for it.
But if you truly don't understand it, maybeit's not a fit because we don't like, the good
advisers out there, they wanna do what's in thebest interest of all their clients at all
times.
And and by selling a bunch of garbage and stuffthat's just so esoteric and laden with fees and
everything else, that's that's not always theright way to go.
(26:15):
So thank you for bringing that up.
It's it's an amazing point.
This is the carte blanche segment of our chattoo.
So is there anything that I didn't ask you thatyou wanna share or any questions I should have
asked you that you wanna answer for ourlisteners?
Yeah.
So you asked me the traps.
One of the traps I think we can fall into ifyou're going through a divorce or not or, you
(26:39):
know, post divorce is emotional spending.
And that is one of the things I think Ispecialize in, is helping people who overspend,
impulse spend, and emotionally spend.
Because, listen, divorce is hard.
And sometimes the emotions are there, thesadness, the grief of, you know, loss of the
relationship, the anger, the guilt, the shame,all the things.
(27:02):
Right?
And sometimes you just wanna feel better.
And retail therapy is called retail therapy fora reason because it does temporarily take your
mind off of things.
It does temporarily give you a dopamine hit.
But it's very short lived, and on the back end,there are all these financial consequences that
(27:23):
you have to deal with.
So I would caution, like, if people arelistening and they find themselves doing a lot
of spending, a lot of shopping, that can bedetrimental for your to your financial
well-being as well.
And know that there's nothing wrong with you ifyou're doing that.
You're just trying to feel better, which isnormal, but there are other ways to do so.
(27:43):
Oh, love it.
That dopamine hit will get you every time onit.
Yes.
And
how do people get in touch with you if theywanna learn more about the work you do and and
maybe work with you moving forward?
Yeah.
So my name is again Jermaine Foley, and I havea free class called how to build wealth without
going on a strict budget.
And you can go to my website to grab it, I'llgive you the link, but I'll say it as well.
(28:07):
It's germainefoley.com/wealthclass, and that'sgermane with a g.
Love it.
Thanks so much for joining us today.
Amazing conversation.
We're gonna have to have you back because Ithink we only scratched the surface on some of
the some of the things that we we can andshould be talking about.
So thank you so much for for joining us todayand for sharing your story and all the wisdom
(28:29):
that you have around financial recovery andfreedom.
For our listeners that are out there ready torebuild their financial life after divorce, be
sure to check out Jermaine's free training atjermainefoley.com/wealthclass like she
mentioned.
Follow her on Instagram at Jermaine Foleycoaching, and visit her website for coaching
and resources.
Don't worry.
We're gonna put all the links in the show notesfor you.
And if you're looking for financial clarity andplanning support during your divorce, we here
(28:53):
at Allegiant Divorce Solutions are always hereto help.
Visit allegiantds.com to learn more.
Don't forget to subscribe to Broke Up NotBroken for more empowering conversations like
this.
Until next time.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!