December 4, 2023 • 56 mins
Ever felt ensnared in a relationship dispute and wished you had the perfect resolution strategy at your fingertips? Or found yourself struggling to comfort a loved one in their darkest hour? We're back on the airwaves after a hiatus, and ready to share our explorations into these complex topics, offering you insights and practical advice to navigate these tricky terrains. Join Brian and Stacey as we relive cherished childhood memories, share updates on Stacey's health journey with Mal de Debarquement syndrome, and even delve into a riveting review of the feminist-themed TV show "Lessons in Chemistry."
Have you ever grappled with the subtle yet profound difference between feeling safe and secure? We did too. Our discussion uncovers how these emotions intertwine with our ability to be honest with ourselves and others. We examine how childhood experiences shape our sense of safety and influence our relationships. But it's not all heavy topics - we also lighten the mood with a fun game using our new box of conversation starters and a scratch-off date DIY salsa lesson for couples!
So whether you're looking for insights into effective conflict resolution, seeking advice on comforting a loved one, or just want a laugh, this episode of the Broken Tiles podcast has something for you. Tune in for a rich array of topics, thoughtful discussions, and some fun.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
This is the Broken Tiles podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
With Brian and Stacy.
We're back.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Uplifting, I pivoted.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
I figure we come back with little Charlie Cunningham,
little hope in the world,little balance stays.
Is that a good segue?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yeah, it's needed.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
How long has it been since we've podcasted?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Around nine months, no Well.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
We dropped one in the middle.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
That's right, but I don't remember when that was.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I think it's been well.
Why do we talk like we don'thave the resources to find out?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
We can find out.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
It's been um.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
It's been too long, that's for sure.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
What's April 19th divided by what we are today?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Seven and a half months.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Seven and a half months since the last Broken
Tiles podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
That's a long time.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I guess the first.
Let's get it out of the way.
How are you feeling?
Speaker 2 (01:19):
I am feeling better.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
As compared to April of 2023.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I'm feeling a lot better since then.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
April Ketchup, malday Debartement, which we did not
say, I think, in the lastpodcast, or did we have the
pronunciation at that point?
We might have.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
We probably didn't.
I don't know.
It's hard to say.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Is that the right pronunciation?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
It is If you speak French.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Tell Venezuela about the last seven months a little
bit, because I don't know.
We have more than enough familyfriends that aren't completely
connected with some of theday-to-day.
I think it's fair, before weget into the questions and have
a little fun, just a smallupdate on the progression of
your Malday Debartement and thejourney a little bit over the
(02:08):
last seven months.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
I wasn't prepared to share about it, so I have to
think about what I want to say.
I finally got to a specialistand got some really good help
Between medication andvestibular rehabilitation
therapy lots of that and timeand COVID thrown in there.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
We had COVID for the second time or third time.
Second time Right.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah, I started feeling better About a week
after having had COVID.
I realized, oh, my dizzinesshas reduced dramatically, which
was really a big surprise.
It still flares up.
It's not gone completely.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Getting to the right person, getting the right
balance of treatment, the rightmedication, all those things
sort of paid off in the last youknow.
But I guess now it's stretching.
I keep on saying, but it's nowbeen like almost six weeks of a
what I sort of consider adramatic kind of turnaround from
what it had been for sinceFebruary.
(03:16):
That's fair to say.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah, I'm definitely on the right path.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
So before we get into the game, you know, I think I
probably need to play withsoundboard a little bit and find
out what our sound is to gointo the game.
I think it's that's not.
It is it.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
No, that was it.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
That's the one right there.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
And conveniently it was button number one.
So we're staying right with thesame green, yellow, red right
now New box, or we just kind ofgrinding through the old-.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, this is a new box of let's get closer by
intelligent change, and this isthe original we were playing
from the couples box and nowthis is the original box.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
So this is going to be boring as F for the
Venezuelan audience.
That has been like in thedesert, waiting for us to
podcast again, waiting for us tocome back with the gripping
edgy content that we left themwith.
And you're going to hold onBoring.
What do we got, babe?
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Are you ready?
What is your most cherishedchildhood memory?
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Here we go, Right out of the gate, and it's got to be
.
Do we want to play thisspecifically like the A memory a
timeframe.
Probably a little bit more funto pick a cherished childhood
memory right, Mm-hmm, A singleone.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
A single memory.
That is hard.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
That is hard when we put ourselves in a little bit of
that pressure to get it to asingle.
I can, I guess if you'resitting there playing the
remember that movie Inside Out.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
I love that movie.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Inside Out's a great movie, animated movie from
probably 10 years ago now.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Yeah, the second one's coming out, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
The general concept of it is it's sort of, if I
remember right, it's a preteenor a teen that's going through
childhood.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Childhood is they're not.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Oh, is that what it was?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Oh no, it is like preteen.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Or maybe it was just more the concept of them moving
to San Francisco or whatever itwas, and, and you know, I
thought she was a little angsty,I just can't remember.
But the general concept is thatyou have a certain amount of
memories and there's only aparticular amount of space, and
eventually, to make space fornew memories, new experiences,
you do have to kind of likeforget certain things, or you do
(06:01):
forget certain things.
It's a great emotional movie,but in this context, I'm going
to answer this question as ifwe're in that movie Inside Out.
Okay, and this would be onethat you would not let go into
the trash A core memory, a corememory that you wouldn't let go
of, from your childhood and I'mgoing to take Disneyland.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Oh which time.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Well, there's 29 events.
That's why I really went forthe.
I went for the answer thatmultiplied it times, my answer,
times which only you would know,29 times in my childhood, but I
think in a, in a stream line,it would be one long term
existing deep childhood memory.
And so what do you got?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Well, I kind of took the same route.
This is something that I haddone many, many, many many times
, although I can't say there's aspecific, one time only
instance from it, but it wouldbe hanging out at Teddy Bear
squeeze, which is a rockformation that was behind my
(07:05):
house, on the mountain behind myhouse.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
So we've had this question before then, because we
have an episode called TeddyBear Squeeze.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Oh, that's right Finding.
Teddy Bear Squeeze so but itmight have been a different
question.
That's my cherished memory,okay.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Well, we won't take that.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
It's obviously.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
It's been so long now and that possibly that could
have been feel like findingTeddy Bear squeeze was either.
It wasn't the first fiveepisodes and you're right, the
way this game goes.
It could have been a completelydifferent way we got there.
But as we expand out a littlebit on that question and this
one's so vanilla, so green, thisis such a green question it's.
(07:43):
It's a little a probably goodway to come back into podcasting
right now, as that is asvanilla and simple.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
It's dipping your toe into the pool.
Yeah, like, like at the, theultimate level.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
But what would be?
Was there any value from yourstandpoint, from a of of
categorizing memories like thator or qualifying memories that
way?
Is there any value to that inyour mind, for?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Well, of course, I mean the fact that we know each
other pretty well.
We probably might have been, wemight have even been able to
guess what the other personcould have said, but it's just
an opportunity, uh-oh, excuse me.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
You're in trouble.
I can take the air while youtake a sip of your lemonloft tea
by Bigelow sponsor and get ittogether.
But I think what you weregetting at is well, I was going
to say I wouldn't have guessedthat and I doubt you would.
Maybe this is the the essenceof it is, I wouldn't have
guessed specifically Teddy Bearsqueeze, and I don't think you
probably would have guessedDisneyland, that's true.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
I would have chosen your crazy, crazy adventures
from Colson street, probably,yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
That would be.
That was kind of in the contextof the, the five leading up to
it, um, and then for yours Iwould have, if I would have
guessed it it would have beenmore in the, you know, the
forests of Evergreen or themountains, something in there,
um, whether there've been, Iguess Teddy Bear squeeze does
count in that Totally.
I don't think I was thinkingTeddy Bear squeeze as much as
(09:13):
just thinking of like, um, youknow, and maybe that does the
answer All that you did, you'rejust a kind of a mountain girl
when it's when it's all said anddone.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Yeah, I just love to be in nature.
Yeah, I was sort of battlingbetween that and I think I've
shared this with you, if not onthe podcast.
Uh, when I was Way too old tobe doing this 12, 13, maybe over
the summer I decided to build ateepee right on the side of our
(09:43):
house and Essentially pretend Iwas an Indian for a couple of
weeks.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
And pretty legit.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Oh yeah, it was very um.
I Looking back, it was thatmoment in your life where you're
like you know you're leavingchildhood and you don't want to.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Right.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I did not want to.
I knew I was too old to beDressing up and playing pretend,
but I did not want to let it go.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
And do you think you do you think you had that
perspective looking back or youkind of knew that, that you
didn't want to grow up when youwere in that little crux?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
I think I kind of knew.
I remember feeling very angryat the time.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
The it's because it's I think it would be if you put
a pole to it.
It feels like it'd be oppositeof.
People can't wait to grow up,they can't wait to get out of
the spot they're in, and maybeyou leave your whole life that
way to a certain extent, and thelesson that is, that we're not
ever really content where we'reat the next is going to make it
(10:50):
all better, and that that mighthave a lot to do with childhood
also.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Yeah, possibly yeah so, but it was still.
I was existing and enjoyingthat time outside in the
mountains, you know, pullinghuge branches from from pine
trees to make my teepee.
That's just where I find peace.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
I like it, and so, because that was so boring and
and there's probably all ofVenezuela's with us, no doubt,
but our edgy engage, engagedaudiences is dumped outside, I
think we need to blitz rightinto a second question.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
And if it's, it's not the couples version of the game
, so Go ahead.
What difference would it makein your life if you felt
completely safe, accepted andloved?
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Hmm, that's the supposition of the question.
I don't even know if I use thatword, right that you did.
I'm impressed is that I'm notsafe and I'm not accepted and
I'm not loved, because it's notalways, but yeah, I mean you
don't know my life.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Well, you are correct , I don't know your life.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I'm deeply accepted.
You feel you are deeply well,with the other things, I already
forgot the question.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Oh, that's so you.
What difference would it makein your life if you felt
completely safe?
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Hold on, I'm completely safe, accepted,
totally accepted and loved.
Yeah, next question byeverybody.
Hold on you.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
You never have moments of uncertainty me.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
I'm having one right now.
No, I'm joking around the.
I think that's sort of the.
It was doing the other podcast,actually just even earlier, the
, the, the other one that I dowith the guy named Mike Howard,
and one of the conversationsthat came up is the, the again
(13:09):
the word we've used in thispodcast before, which is
affirmation, and that that itpossibly is like with Not the,
not the love language kind ofaffirmation.
I'm talking about anaffirmation I made, the made the
.
The statement that we, in a lotof ways, are continually
(13:29):
looking for affirmations of ourexistence is what I said
Affirmations that we're evenhere and that we're in this
thing.
And you, you're looking forsmall little, small little, you
know, olive branches orcommunications or a look or a
word like we matter.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Is that what, yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:49):
and I think that's the.
The heart of this question islike, whether we say it out loud
or not, that is sort of themomentum of our life, whatever
priority you give it, you ordon't give it those three things
, which I've already forgotagain, but I know the deep
meaning of it it's, it's loveand it's.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Safety, safe.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Yeah, it's the, it's our existence, and safety goes
into Instinctual surviving.
Safe, safe, you know, we, we,we Don't do a lot of hunting and
gathering right now, so safetyin our mind isn't, you know,
somebody coming into our camp atnight.
You know and and Tooth Tigerright per se, but it's, it's a,
(14:33):
it's a core human emotion.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
It is a foundation of need right in the Maslow's
hierarchy that is at the bottom.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
You are feeling better.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
I am.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Guarantee an April podcast see if.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
I was not throwing that kind of terminology.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I don't even know if used a two-syllable word.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
I'd have to look back on it, but it was a.
It was right.
It is nice to see you connected.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
So I guess what it would feel like is I think it
would feel like you made it tothe top of the hill in your
little lotus position under thetree and you've kind of the if
you.
You know, I Guess that's whatit would feel like to not Need
that.
If you really want to zen outon that, like I think that whole
(15:18):
, it would be that you forkfeeling of going through that
mattering to you.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, and I would ask you to expand a little bit more
.
And that was your teacup andTalk about so.
You kind of shared how youwould feel in a way.
But like, what difference wouldit make in your life, is the
question.
What might be different?
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Maybe I'd be If you had that balance we're talking
about.
We're having, let's say, youhave this ultimate sense of self
and belonging.
I Feel like the end result isI'd probably be more creative
and I'm talking about something.
I it's a it's stupid yellowquestion.
It's pretty good you know thatTalking about something I've
(16:05):
never really Thought throughthis way.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Yeah, I think that's what I like about these
questions is, I Don't know.
You can approach things From adifferent place to the answer.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
the studs kind of thing is like is to reverse that
thing instead of answering thequestion Is maybe you rephrase
it to yourself?
Is an answer one by one?
Do I feel safe?
Speaker 2 (16:30):
always.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Always, that's it.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
No, I'm asking you, I'm.
I threw in the always.
Do you always feel safe?
I do.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
I wouldn't know, that's that you said different
things.
Yeah, but that's.
That's a ridiculous answer.
The majority of the time I feelsafe in my my my self or my
overall perception, my physicalself.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
I generally feel.
What about psychological andemotional?
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Generally majority safe, safe, I mean that's.
It gets weird Because if youchange a couple letters there,
you know and say, do you feelsecure To that same question?
Not as much, it's not the samedominant.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
See, I think that's so interesting because I think
there Maybe one in the same.
So tell me, why not secure?
Why safe but not always secure?
Speaker 1 (17:27):
seven months Since I've said this.
How dare you push me furtherhere?
I Don't.
I guess I don't see safe andSafe to me.
Maybe I'm.
Maybe I'm giving more credenceto, I put more credence into
(17:49):
Confidence and in my sort of myability to control safety.
This is really good question.
But security is a wholedifferent thing.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
So what does security mean to you?
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Security for me means that it's more am I grounded in
that position?
Does that make sense, like Ifeel I guess I'm using a little
term of that word, but when Ihear that word security it's
like am I grounded in thatposition?
Is it a defensible position, isit?
(18:27):
And so my security would feeldifferent than safety because I
think I feel more secure, or I'dfeel less secure, maybe to, and
maybe the answer to this iswhat we're getting at here is
maybe I feel safer in thecontext of who I might be
dealing with in a conversationabout safety, because it feels
(18:51):
like it's out there.
Security's in my own head.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Oh, that's really interesting.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
It's deep as shit.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Yeah, it is, man, let's just end it A yellow card.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
What's our play out card?
It's 19 minutes.
That seems good.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
It's not bad.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
That's a pretty good podcast.
So far, you haven't evenanswered.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I haven't Because I was Think about it a bit.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
I mean, that's a hold on, that's a mic drop.
I dropped it three times.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Yeah, why?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Because, I mean, what I said was just-.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
It was that profound it needed three mic drops.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
I mean you said that I didn't, I'm just trying to
reiterate you, but I appreciateit.
I appreciate that middle part.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
If I felt completely safe, accepted and loved, I
think I what difference would itmake?
I think I could.
I don't.
I think I don't always say whatI'm thinking.
I pause and reconfigure basedon who I'm talking to.
(19:54):
I think I could be more honest,and that might even be honest
with myself, which isinteresting, you know.
I think it's well even likethinking about the last many,
many months, how hard it's been.
I've really tried to just kindof keep moving forward.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Right.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
It has been a very small handful of times I've let
it get to me.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Three.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Yeah, is it three?
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Four.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Meltdowns, meltdowns.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Meltdowns.
I mean, there's maybe two thatI have in mind, but it could be
more, because my memory's notgreat because of it all.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
There's four times I've not felt safe.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
In the last nine months.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
I wasn't thinking about that one time.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
It was secure, secure my position that you were
losing your shit but I did notfeel safe in the room.
That is valid.
That's why I can't say I'm 100%sure I'm safe.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
No, but that's a really good you're.
You know the that's like, Ithink, a really good process
you're going through there, sokeep going.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Well, I don't know that I have anything more to add
to that.
I think the honesty with myselfand with people that I am in
relationships with is probably.
That is the difference.
That's what would change, andit's weird to think I hadn't
really thought about the factthat I'm not honest.
I think I'm measured, I thinkI'm always reading a situation
(21:34):
and that I would say probablygoes all the way back to my
childhood, where it wasn'tnecessarily safe in my household
.
So there's always thissurveillance and trying to
determine what's the best thingto do here.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Do you want to expand on that, or is that just right
where it lies?
Speaker 2 (21:58):
I'm just going to leave it there.
I don't want to expand on itright now.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
It sounds juicy.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
It's juicy and we've I think we've kind of alluded to
things here and there.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Right.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
In this podcast in the past.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
So we're at a little midpoint here and we're going to
do a, which we haven't done ina long time, but we're going to
do one.
Let's see if I can get it here.
We're going to do a review.
It's on I'm going to screw thisup.
I'm almost positive.
It's on Apple.
I'm a killer TV.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
And, if I fuck that up, it's on Amazon Prime.
Lessons in chemistry is a 2023American period drama television
ministry is developed by LeeEisenberg based on the novel of
the same name by Bonnie Garmus.
It stars Brie Larson as achemist, elizabeth Zott, who
begins hosting her own feministcooking show in the 1960s
(22:55):
America.
Its first two episodespremiered on Apple TV plus in
October of 2023.
And we really like this showand I'm going to let you talk on
it a little bit here, becauseyou watch the show, love the
show and just finished the book.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Yeah, I listened to it.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
That's reading it.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I don't know that that's the case, but I consumed
it.
How about that?
Wait, I listened.
I didn't use my eyes and readit, because that's still really
hard for me.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
I really got to apologize to a lot of people.
That's not what I've beentelling people.
A lot of my friends think I'mreading a lot of books.
Damn it.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Well.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Talk about a little bit.
I mean, that was a goodsynopsis, but Okay.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
So the feminist string that is pulled throughout
the entire story is strong andit's sound.
It's not over the top.
It really highlights theprogress that women have
experienced since I think thestory actually really starts in
(24:11):
the 50s and really before that,because we're talking about when
some of the characters wereborn, because it goes back a
little bit into their childhood.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Right.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
So, thinking about the type of progress that women
have had during that time stillquite a ways to go, but it's
really nice to have that viewand see what has happened over
that time.
But this is.
It's a great story about awoman who is fierce in her
(24:47):
determination and her sense ofright and wrong.
It is black and white in hermind.
There are no gray areas.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Yeah, and I think it would be in my perspective.
You would be able to tell memore from reading the book
possibly.
I almost thought there was aninference in the TV series and I
could be way off with this thatshe was even slightly, maybe on
a spectrum.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
That's not really addressed in the book, but I
also thought the same In the TVshow.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Did you get that sense?
Yeah, because in the movie.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
And even in the book.
Even in the book I got thatsense, but it was not addressed.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Yeah, and it was that sort of like that detached
attention, massive attention todetail and sort of her.
The way they did it in the showwas like, I guess in the term I
don't know if it's apolitically correct word to say,
but that sort of spinning thatcan go on in certain areas of
the spectrum where it's highlyevolved, super beyond even like
(25:42):
what we're thinking about.
But on point, without a lot ofemotion, is what her character
is yeah, that's very true.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
In fact, I listened to an interview of the author
and I really was kind of waitingfor her to say that that was
her take on this character thatshe created and she never did.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
She didn't, she did not Interesting.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
She talked about her brilliance, her genius, her, you
know this intellect that justleft everybody else around her
in the dust, but she did notinfer that she was on the
spectrum.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Anything as far as, like you know, zero being.
You know nothing to do with thebook.
10 being an accuraterepresentation of the book the
Apple TV show.
Now that you've read it, wherewould you put it in there?
10 being like it's like thefrom the pages and zero being
they took their own spin.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Some parts are from the pages I wouldn't say.
Well, he asked.
They did take their spin incertain ways, which I think was
probably smart.
There's diversity in the showthat isn't necessarily reflected
in the book and I think thatwas a really nice addition,
especially the activism thathappens in the show.
And of course, the book, asalways happens, is a far more
(26:58):
expansive story than what we gotin the show, but they're both
very good.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
I like it.
And so let's do our grades.
And I think we have our littleDave Portnoy pizza kind of scale
with our wings and all thatstuff.
We call our 10th of a pointwings.
Oh no, it's just the rating.
And then if you want to give itwings, it's upgraded.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
And I think we went.
Did we go to 10?
I think we did.
We went to lower to 10.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah, I don't know that we've ever scored anything
a 10, but no, we haven't.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
We've been up there, though, so I'll let you grade
first on lessons in chemistry onApple TV, your score.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
I will say eight, six .
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I'm going nine one, I feel it's that over the top,
just over the top of that tothat level where I think I
wouldn't want to leave any doubtthat it was binge worthy and we
were forced to watch it.
A lot of shows have done thatlately, which is sort of
(27:59):
becoming retro now, where we'reforced to wait seven days.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
How dare they?
And you know what I will say ismy score is probably reflecting
the fact that the book was justbetter, so it's not necessarily
a fair assessment on just theshow alone.
Because I loved the show somuch, I wanted more of it, which
is why I started listening tothe book.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
All right, my turn for a question.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Okay, debbie Downer.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
This is my bit this section there's so much respect
when I do yours.
Let me edit this right now.
I'm gonna block that out andwe're gonna write back.
It's um, hey, babe, it's myturn for a question Ready roll
it.
My questions.
(28:56):
How do I say this in a waythat's my people in Venezuela
will understand it.
I don't fuck around with myquestions.
When it comes to resolvingconflict, what skills do you
wish to get better at aspartners?
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Oh, oh yeah, I mean that is good, I know where did
you get that?
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Well, I'm just getting tired of this game that
you're playing you asked me topull out these questions.
I think you're stalling,because the thing about my
question is you have to answerit first.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Okay, yeah, ask it again.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
I don't even know if I want to ask this question
anymore, because it's likeyou're really looks like you're
revving up.
This really looks like this wasa not engaged 29 minutes and 42
seconds and as soon as I'mtalking about this question, I
feel like you the fact that youhave an answer and Like a
witness on the stand, you wantto repeat the question because
(29:53):
you feel like this is gonnaconvict me.
When it comes to resolvingconflict, what skills do you
wish to get better at aspartners?
Speaker 2 (30:04):
As partners.
So this means Not just what Iwant to do better, but we Could
do better.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
I think it's a free-for-all, I think.
I think, though, I'm gonna.
It's my question and it's agreat question.
It's probably the best questionthat's ever been asked on this
podcast.
Wow with those terms.
I'm gonna tell you that I thinkit's.
I guess I'm saying is have funwith it, like it can be a little
bit of all of it, like whatyou'd like to see me better at,
you better at, or what we needto do just a little.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
There's no, no boundary, bring it on, is what
I'm saying well, I think wecould certainly do better
Addressing conflict in themoment, like when it happens
once, when something is amiss Tobe able to have a conversation
(30:54):
about, is it?
This is hard because we oftendon't address it immediately.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Because we're emotional, no, the emotional.
And then?
Speaker 2 (31:02):
then you don't want to say the wrong thing.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Yeah, the night I'll be.
I'll be super honest about it.
It's like there a lot of times.
It's just I'm not ready to sayit and there's no other thing
other than am I, am I nervousabout it?
Am I?
Am I?
Am I not we?
I'm jumping in on your answerright now, but we're in the
(31:26):
couple part of the answer.
It's like I think what happensis is like, and I'll give you
the exact answer.
Sometimes you'll walk in andsay what's wrong and I'm like
nothing and I'll just liesomething about work thinking
about this.
The reality is is I've stumbledonto one thing that I can't
process fast enough to give ananswer.
So most of my life I'm justprocessing.
(31:47):
I've got an idea and I've got aplan and sometimes, if I catch
it and what, I can even startdoing this.
I have no problem saying I canstart doing this, which is I can
probably just start barfing itout real time and see how that
goes meaning your, yourProcessing, doing your
(32:07):
processing allowed in thatmoment.
Yeah, you always get.
You always end up getting theresult of what I was thinking
about, and it's not all the time, it's just some of the time,
like where I'm there.
But I think what I'm doing isI'm just maybe not maybe I've
got such a Reputation in my ownhead of being this ultimate
problem-solver and processor.
When I get caught in a quietmoment, I'm away from a scene,
(32:28):
I'm away from the event and inyou that whole thing, like what
are you thinking right now?
Because I think generally youlike, I think I do it enough
that you basically just it'swhat you're thinking.
I think most of the time when Isay, what are you thinking
about?
Like on a drive from theairport.
(32:48):
Right and you're looking out thewindow.
I'm like what are you thinkingabout?
It's what people people do toeach other.
Yeah, I guess that's.
The answer is like how manytimes?
How much of those times are youtruthful to me?
Speaker 2 (32:58):
That's a good question.
Think about how I answered aprevious question with a lie.
Yeah, like I don't always saywhat I'm thinking, because I'm
Trying to figure out how to sayit, or trying to figure out what
should be said in that momentand what's not appropriate to be
so what?
Speaker 1 (33:18):
what percentage?
Is mine is, mine is 100%.
I'm truthful all the time.
So you're go ahead, you go I.
Don't know, I'd have to thinkabout that I am 100% truthful
all the time I just can'tbelieve that.
I think on that.
To put myself on joking the I'dsay Honestly, we're together all
the time, 33 years, 90% of thetime yeah, I think 90% time to
(33:42):
10% is just like and now I'd beon the gun of like of of when
and what and what I'm processingand you know it probably a lot
of times mostly has to do withit.
It seems like always has to dowith money.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Right, yeah, that's a .
That's a tricky Conflict areafor us.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Well, it's, it's, or, I think, with the statistics
show divorce statistics and allthese things show it's, it's in
and coffee with my friendstalking with our kids, or at
work, or or a property man it's,it's the thing.
It's the thing in the world.
I mean even doing articles forthe magazine.
Yeah the thing housing all ofit, it's it's just preeminent
(34:26):
clout over of Shit and it's andso, yeah, it catches you Lying
about it.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Hmm.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
We use that word it's not.
It's not something huge.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Yeah, no, I know what you're saying it, but it kind
of makes me go back to thequestion I asked earlier about
If you felt completely safe,accepted and loved.
Do you need to lie about themoney situations either?
Anybody, I guess.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
No yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
I think that's what I'm saying is we, we is is
however confident we are.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
Nobody is a hundred percent of the time feeling that
way, and that is why we makedecisions that you know or that
could be better, and say thingsthat maybe we shouldn't say, or
don't say things that we shouldSay it is weird that after 33
years plus 33 years coming up inJune, I guess, but 33 years
(35:25):
together now, plus whatever itis that there's I guess the
question is how much time do youneed to spend with somebody
when you don't lie to themanymore?
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Because this is a long time.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
It is a long time and it's.
It's not like I Wouldn't saythe lies are destructive lies.
There's a difference.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Well, I'm saying but it's still, it's still this,
it's this weird question toanswer and it is a lie and it's
not.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
I would never have.
Classified Anything that goeson between us as lying no, in it
for this conversation, but it Imean, if you Want to be really
succinct about it, that is whatit is right, and so you're still
.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
That was.
That's the couples part of theanswer.
So, bottom lines, let's stoplying to each other.
Let's get that.
Let's get that started, okay 33years later yeah, just like and
I think I'm lying right nowbecause I think I'll probably
lie to you again, as I was justhaving a thought.
I said this probably not thelast time when you asked me
(36:31):
what's on my mind, so I justlied, oh.
Yeah about never lying again.
But I'm gonna try.
I'm gonna try really hard.
I think it's actually kind of afun game.
It's a very exposed game to tryto play and always say what's
actually on your mind.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Well, I have to say, when I answered that question
earlier and I said I don'talways say what I'm thinking
about, I was.
I was really thinking more inthe context of work and Friends,
all of it.
I wasn't thinking about you andI yeah, and we had this
conversation before.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
Sometimes it might be just that go ahead.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
I was just gonna.
Sometimes I'm in a work meetingwith our entire team and you
don't want to know what's goingthrough my head.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
No, right, right, there's that part of it, so some
of it, it just it could open upsome.
But what do I'm thinking aboutit?
Because it's, you know, we'vetalked about that on this
podcast as far as the ebbs andflows of like, attraction and a
relationship and like when youkind of like are or not
attracted to somebody, and thatmight be sometimes over.
Like you know, this is gettingvery kind of raw.
(37:37):
But there might be a period oftime over a period of time like
I might be sitting there goinglike why aren't you making a
move on me, right, the wholenight?
Let you know, like and and wesay, what do you think?
And I'm be like just Going toMegan's tomorrow.
See like a really stupid thingto say.
If your agenda is that the lastthing you want to say is
(37:58):
something because it feels likeit would put me farther away
from that.
You know that, that that youknow concept, but the reality of
life proves probably not true.
Probably would be good to saywhat you're thinking.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Absolutely, I think so she found a toy.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
I hid every toy in the house from this dog and she
found one.
She found one without a squeak,so smart I think she must have
gone under the.
I hit a pile on that thing ourdogs interrupting the podcast.
Um, so did we milk everythingout there, or did we just get
started on it?
That was pretty good.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
It was really good.
It led to a great conversation.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
And that's what this is all about.
So there's a segue here.
We got to just kind of work ourway through here a little bit.
I'm gonna play a flute for you.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Not just any flute song, did you?
Speaker 1 (38:44):
already pick it up.
Yeah, that's one of yourrecords, man.
She like like right now, justclose your eyes.
You're in the redwood forestand You're sitting there and
there's dew on the trees.
The sun is gently comingthrough and this tiny little
woodland elf comes out with aflute and you're like what fuck
(39:06):
is that little thing playing?
And you're like it's thatlittle woodland creature which I
didn't even think existed inthe world playing.
Take on me by a ha of all thesongs in the history of songs.
And.
And then a tear falls from youreye.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
I Would consider that little woodland elf with the
flute mm-hmm to be Brian'spersonal outdoor angel.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
No, that is.
I think that's racist.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
It's not.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
I was taking a shot.
All right, let's go to the.
I think we're getting all of itin.
I think we did.
Aha, I think we've been goingtoo long to have any kind of a
sponsorship right now.
I'll gear that up next time,because that's really I don't
think you can take seven monthsoff and think that we're
chock-full of sponsors, but, um,let's go to the.
(39:58):
Let's go to the red question.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
I'm gonna start by saying I think this is an
important question whoa for allrelationships oh all.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
Really it's not ours, because ours already ours, we
can't take much more tonight.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
This is good.
Are you ready?
When you are sad or upset aboutsomething, how do you like to
be comforted?
Hmm?
Speaker 1 (40:31):
Are you already geared up?
What can I have a little time?
Do you have an idea?
Speaker 2 (40:37):
I Well, I have to start by saying what I don't
like.
Hmm is being comforted.
Immediate problem solving.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
Yeah, that's right, director, right at me.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
But I know it's done with good intention.
But it's not just you.
I have friends and Familymembers that all I think it's
human nature when someone wecare about is upset.
We want that to change.
So we.
I do it too, and I try to bemindful of not doing it, but
sometimes I just immediately goto that.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
Yeah, and I would say that there's an internal part
of being sad in the minute you.
It's very difficult.
And then this is a goodquestion, because it's very
difficult when you Open up aconversation about your sadness.
So what you're saying is, whenyou open up the conversation
(41:33):
about sadness, you Are becausewe've been on the other ends of
some of these conversationswhere you're told I don't want
you to talk, I'm gonna say somestuff right now.
That sucks.
It sucks to be on that end ofit.
But then also, when you open upa conversation and You're,
unless it's stated, you don'twant anybody because a lot of
(41:56):
people would considerproblem-solving comfort.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Yes, but it's not actually because we need to be
able to express that sadness oryou know what, at whatever the
emotion is, there's somethingcalled the Trying to it's.
It was a long time ago I readabout this.
(42:20):
It's called the stress cycle.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Do you have?
Speaker 2 (42:23):
it by Amelia and Emily Nagoski.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
It's a book.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
Um, well, I read about it.
Yeah, it's, it's a book calledburnout the secret unlocking the
stress cycle.
But what I'm trying to get atis the Importance of being
allowed to feel upset.
Is it's really important to letyourself Completely run through
the stress cycle?
So having it be interrupted bysomebody who's trying to problem
(42:53):
solve for you Actually haltsthat process of going through
the entire cycle.
Sometimes we might need to cryor scream or just talk it out
and let ourselves run throughthe course of it, naturally
ourselves, even if it's notnecessarily resolved at the end
of it.
That Allows our stress system,our stress cycle, to complete,
(43:20):
and if we don't complete it, wehold on to that stress.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
That's a lot to ask me something else.
Just sit there and and and Iget.
I guess I get it in theConfront of like, recently we
had somebody you know.
Let's say there's a momentthere, there's there's some
natural moments where you knowsomebody comes in and they're
wearing it.
Let's say there, they hadsomebody that they cared about
that just died, and you justbasically give them a hug and
(43:44):
you kind of are like you're justthere for them.
You're there for them.
That's one part of it, but whenthat other person, I'd have to
almost get through some, somescenarios of when other person
starts talking about theirsadness, it seems, it seems, oh.
I think I know where you'regoing odd to to say I would have
(44:06):
to hear it out loud to knowthat that doesn't feel even more
Isolating for that person ifthey're talking and other
persons just like.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
Well, it's more along the lines of saying I hear you?
Oh yeah, but what if you don'thear them?
Speaker 1 (44:20):
It sounds so hard, but what if you it does?
It is very hard, but what ifyou?
Speaker 2 (44:23):
No, I mean, that's what you say to them.
That sounds really hard.
I can see why you're so upset.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
So let's say, in a certain scenario, maybe lie to
them if you don't see what I'msaying is like.
Let's say you have a differentperspective than somebody on a
subject.
Sure, Not all the time.
I'm just talking about thesecertain circumstances where you
you maybe you're not sure Maybeit is the time for some white
lies, is what you're saying?
Speaker 2 (44:47):
Well, I guess you can look at it that way.
I didn't look at it in that way, but it's really about them,
not what you think about theirsituation.
It's you being there for him.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
But they're talking to you For them.
Doesn't that open up?
Speaker 2 (45:01):
Well, that's what people do when they trust each
other.
And so if you and your mind arelike, oh my God, this is
ridiculous, and trying tointerrupt their stream of
consciousness, talking throughthis by problem solving you're
it's almost disrespectful in away, Right, Does that make sense
(45:24):
?
Speaker 1 (45:24):
It does, it does, it completely does, and I think
it's kind of sensing the room,but it also is it's also very
it's also it's understandablethat that's the exact scenario
that you would want is to beable to emote and people
recognize your emotions andbasically groove with you.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
You know what I just thought about.
I'm sorry I interrupted you,but I think that's where there
are appropriate relationships toshare.
And some relationships wheremaybe you're not close enough to
to share that deeply, and maybefor the person who's being
(46:09):
shared with or hearing this,that's where it feels kind of
like whoa, that's a lot, becauseit's like I'm not, I don't
think of you in in the way thatI can carry what you're, what
you're handing off to me.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
Yeah, carry, or or it's that that also be the,
maybe that's the, the deck ofcards you've got, as far as you
know, understanding your sadnessand knowing you know how to
present it or how to it's.
It's an interesting question, Ithink.
(46:48):
I think you're right in a way.
I think for me it's like a lotof times we're almost talking
about well, no, we are talkingabout sadness, you know sadness.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
Well, this says sad or upset.
I mean, the question was how doyou like to be comforted?
And I kind of started with howI don't like to be comforted,
and that's how we got here.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
Yeah, and do you have a lot of people the the problem
solving?
I kind of I put in a categorymore of like business or or
angst or that kind of a thingwhere, where you know, like this
happened to me, and then youknow and I'm pissed and it's
(47:25):
like, well, have you thought ofit?
But the sadness one seems to bemore instinctual, an
instinctual kind of relationshipwith somebody Like you you can
be like I'm probably better atsadness as far as my demeanor
with somebody than I would be ata problem.
Like somebody presents me witha problem, I'm immediately
(47:46):
saying like well, fuck, have youthought of that?
Have you ever done?
I'm on the game Like we'rewe're problem solving.
This is different, because I'mtrying to think of when I've
been presented with sadness.
Um, uh, no, I do problem solveit.
I probably tried to problemsolve my mom's sadness.
You know, you try to, you, do?
You do try to like, do like.
I'm thinking like this stupidfucking sugar packets and you
(48:10):
know, in the cheesecake factoryand stuff like that is problem
solving.
Where?
What the theory is?
You just listen.
But then, um, where are yougetting?
Speaker 2 (48:20):
So what I was going to say is you know, in that
moment, if someone's expressingtheir upset or sad, that's when
you just listen at a later timeyou can say hey, I was thinking
about what you were sharing withme and I had some thoughts.
So it's at a different time.
Speaker 1 (48:35):
But I want to impress them that I know right then.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
So it's about you.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
Yeah, jesus, I see, you know that, I see Okay, so I
get it.
Let's hear about you.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
How do you, when you're sad or upset, how do you
like to be comforted?
Speaker 1 (48:50):
I think, and now, this one I don't even present to
other people because I handleit this way, I just I don't
present it, I'm left alone.
Speaker 2 (48:58):
Eventually, I do like , even on this you do pull
yourself away.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
I do, but, but eventually I have no problem
talking about it, like I'll talkabout my dad's death, my
grandpa's death.
I don't not, gavin, I don't nottalk about it, but I already
know the answer to the question.
It's a little boring, is that?
Um, I want to.
I not only do I want to be leftalone, I don't even operate.
This is maybe one conflictedwith the question, because I
don't present myself To somebodyand say, no, I'm just going to
(49:22):
dump shit, but shut the fuck up,I don't.
I don't do that, like on somelevel, because I figure, like,
once I start talking, I'm likeyou know, like I wasn't even sad
with my dad, I want to hearsomething from you.
I do I.
When I say it like, like, or mygrandpa, I'm like, I'm
presenting it and I'm like Iwant to engage on this weird
thought I had.
You know about the way I feltabout my my you know, my dad's
(49:44):
death, or putting the dog down,that kind of thing.
But I didn't, I didn't.
I do.
I do get away at first, because, again, I just want to figure
my shit out.
Speaker 2 (49:54):
Yeah, well, you know, I think you have a that.
That's how you process.
You process in your head alone.
Speaker 1 (50:01):
Right.
Speaker 2 (50:02):
Um, not everybody does that, and a lot of people,
especially if it's somethingthat's super overwhelming, they
need.
There's actually research thatshows that we can uh, when we
say things out loud, we hearwhat we say, and that helps us
to figure things out.
It helps us to process things.
(50:23):
Sometimes you say what's goingon in your head and then you're
like, oh my God, did I just saythat?
That's a ridiculous thought.
Speaker 1 (50:29):
Right.
Speaker 2 (50:30):
You know that that kind of thing is super important
and I really feel like ifsomebody is sharing something
really personal about whatthey're sad or upset about,
they're actually saying I trustyou and I need help right now,
and that's.
That's a pretty special thingactually.
Speaker 1 (50:51):
It is.
Speaker 2 (50:52):
But it does feel weird if it, if it, from your
perspective, feels like aninappropriate relationship or
you don't have that kind of arelationship.
Speaker 1 (51:02):
Or yeah, I guess and I've got to rethink this because
I figured if we're talkingwe're just talking and so I've
got to understand that a littlebit more.
But the bottom line, to put abow on that, we agree, my
position is correct.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
I wouldn't say that.
Speaker 1 (51:13):
We didn't.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
I never really said what I, what I like, how I like
to be comforted.
I just said what I don't like.
Speaker 1 (51:20):
That's part of my whole thing right now is I'm
right and this podcast is over.
Speaker 2 (51:25):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (51:26):
That's it Okay, bye.
Good Finish that.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
Um well, I like it when you hug me.
Speaker 1 (51:33):
Oh, we're down to me and you.
Speaker 2 (51:35):
Well, yeah, how do I like to be comforted.
I like.
I like it when somebodyresponds in a way that lets me
know they've heard me and andthat they're not judging me.
Speaker 1 (51:50):
It's very hard for me .
I can, I can break out a goodhug every once in a while.
But I think, um, you're gettingat the fact that I think and I
recognize this sometimes is Idon't, I don't probably observe
enough, um, when that, uh, thehug vibes are coming um strong,
that meaning you're not sayinghug me, but you're, but you
(52:11):
would I, I think you know that Ican recognize sometimes like
this is for you a hug would go along way right now.
Speaker 2 (52:19):
Like, like when I really need it, I just reach out
and hug you.
I don't wait for you to read mymind.
Speaker 1 (52:24):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (52:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
So I need to recognize more when you need a
hug.
Speaker 2 (52:31):
I'm not saying anything, that you're doing
anything wrong.
I am.
Speaker 1 (52:35):
I'm saying my other.
There's a second part to this.
You need to recognize more whenI want nooky.
Speaker 2 (52:41):
Oh yes, so I'll, I'll be on the hunt for hugs.
Speaker 1 (52:44):
Okay, all right, and then um for tat, literally
literally, we're going to playour game a little bit.
Let me see if I can.
I got to get.
Not, this isn't the game.
Speaker 2 (52:54):
Remember where which game are we doing?
Speaker 1 (52:56):
the Spotify blend game.
Okay.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
You have.
You have a book out, so Ididn't know if that's what you
want.
Speaker 1 (53:01):
This is called this is called production value.
Gotcha Little music in the back.
It's a good song and I'm goingto great song.
I can't even that's when youinterrupt me.
I'm going to play that from nowon, but I'm in a perfectly good
segment and I'm playingdeathcap for cutie.
Speaker 2 (53:21):
Yes, you are.
Speaker 1 (53:22):
And it's I'll follow you into the dark.
I'm scratching off a romanticday.
Speaker 2 (53:27):
So I'm supposed to do assault me I was not assaulting
you.
I'm confused.
Am I supposed to guess who'ssong this is?
Speaker 1 (53:34):
No, I think if we rewound it, I said this isn't
the guess and this is again anice.
This was such a romantic,beautifully planned out segment
that now feels like I was goingto try to scratch this really
fast and see what our date is.
That says let's mix it up.
It's one part appetizer, onepart dance party.
(53:58):
Search for salsa lessons onYouTube, stream it to your TV
and then grab your partner.
I like that, yeah, becausewe've taken a couple of dance
classes, but the kind of thethought more spontaneously of
doing a DIY, you know, do ityourself kind of salsa lesson
right here.
Speaker 2 (54:17):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (54:19):
Because we've got the fundamentals of some concepts
we do Not of you know, but wewould be able to pull that off.
Yeah, all right, so we'llreport back on that one.
Speaker 2 (54:26):
We will.
Speaker 1 (54:28):
Now, this is a high level of difficulty.
Speaker 2 (54:30):
We'll have to do it very slow, yeah, because dancing
is not easy for me right now.
Speaker 1 (54:34):
No, okay, I'm going to do it.
And give me a number.
Speaker 2 (54:38):
I like the number 12.
Speaker 1 (54:40):
Okay, I can do that, let me just get it on the button
here.
Hmm, anything.
Speaker 2 (54:57):
It's got to be Ainsley's from a show.
Definitely sounds like it'sfrom a show.
Speaker 1 (55:04):
There's a soundtrack, yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:07):
And because there's so many different, it's
hilarious.
Classical instruments.
Yeah, oh yeah, it's fromMatilda.
Matilda, this is brand new.
You can see it in right now.
Which?
Speaker 1 (55:19):
she's in in Colorado, which opened last Friday, and
so we're going to be.
We're going to be Ainsley, andthis will make her very happy,
but that's, that means they'restill using the Spotify family
plan.
Speaker 2 (55:28):
Yes, that's it.
Oh, that's great.
Speaker 1 (55:29):
It's on there.
So, um, if you're in Denver andwe got a few people, yeah, and
then we're going to be in thetown theater.
Matilda runs all the waythrough, I think, the 30th or
31st of December, december.
Um, she's been saying it's aphenomenal cast.
Kids are incredibly talented.
She's one of the big kids inMatilda.
Yeah, and the understudy yeah,miss Honey, we did it, babe.
Speaker 2 (55:52):
We did it.
Speaker 1 (55:53):
As always, no matter how we find the path, we end up
at 55 minutes.
Speaker 2 (55:57):
That's bizarre.
Love you Love you, love you.
This is the Broken Tiles podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
With Brian and Stacy.
We're back.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Uplifting, I pivoted.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
I figure we come back with little Charlie Cunningham,
little hope in the world,little balance stays.
Is that a good segue?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yeah, it's needed.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
How long has it been since we've podcasted?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Around nine months, no Well.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
We dropped one in the middle.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
That's right, but I don't remember when that was.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I think it's been well.
Why do we talk like we don'thave the resources to find out?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
We can find out.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
It's been um.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
It's been too long, that's for sure.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
What's April 19th divided by what we are today?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Seven and a half months.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Seven and a half months since the last Broken
Tiles podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
That's a long time.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I guess the first.
Let's get it out of the way.
How are you feeling?
Speaker 2 (01:19):
I am feeling better.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
As compared to April of 2023.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I'm feeling a lot better since then.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
April Ketchup, malday Debartement, which we did not
say, I think, in the lastpodcast, or did we have the
pronunciation at that point?
We might have.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
We probably didn't.
I don't know.
It's hard to say.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Is that the right pronunciation?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
It is If you speak French.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Tell Venezuela about the last seven months a little
bit, because I don't know.
We have more than enough familyfriends that aren't completely
connected with some of theday-to-day.
I think it's fair, before weget into the questions and have
a little fun, just a smallupdate on the progression of
your Malday Debartement and thejourney a little bit over the
(02:08):
last seven months.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
I wasn't prepared to share about it, so I have to
think about what I want to say.
I finally got to a specialistand got some really good help
Between medication andvestibular rehabilitation
therapy lots of that and timeand COVID thrown in there.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
We had COVID for the second time or third time.
Second time Right.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah, I started feeling better About a week
after having had COVID.
I realized, oh, my dizzinesshas reduced dramatically, which
was really a big surprise.
It still flares up.
It's not gone completely.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Getting to the right person, getting the right
balance of treatment, the rightmedication, all those things
sort of paid off in the last youknow.
But I guess now it's stretching.
I keep on saying, but it's nowbeen like almost six weeks of a
what I sort of consider adramatic kind of turnaround from
what it had been for sinceFebruary.
(03:16):
That's fair to say.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah, I'm definitely on the right path.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
So before we get into the game, you know, I think I
probably need to play withsoundboard a little bit and find
out what our sound is to gointo the game.
I think it's that's not.
It is it.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
No, that was it.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
That's the one right there.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
And conveniently it was button number one.
So we're staying right with thesame green, yellow, red right
now New box, or we just kind ofgrinding through the old-.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, this is a new box of let's get closer by
intelligent change, and this isthe original we were playing
from the couples box and nowthis is the original box.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
So this is going to be boring as F for the
Venezuelan audience.
That has been like in thedesert, waiting for us to
podcast again, waiting for us tocome back with the gripping
edgy content that we left themwith.
And you're going to hold onBoring.
What do we got, babe?
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Are you ready?
What is your most cherishedchildhood memory?
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Here we go, Right out of the gate, and it's got to be
.
Do we want to play thisspecifically like the A memory a
timeframe.
Probably a little bit more funto pick a cherished childhood
memory right, Mm-hmm, A singleone.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
A single memory.
That is hard.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
That is hard when we put ourselves in a little bit of
that pressure to get it to asingle.
I can, I guess if you'resitting there playing the
remember that movie Inside Out.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
I love that movie.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Inside Out's a great movie, animated movie from
probably 10 years ago now.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Yeah, the second one's coming out, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
The general concept of it is it's sort of, if I
remember right, it's a preteenor a teen that's going through
childhood.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Childhood is they're not.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Oh, is that what it was?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Oh no, it is like preteen.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Or maybe it was just more the concept of them moving
to San Francisco or whatever itwas, and, and you know, I
thought she was a little angsty,I just can't remember.
But the general concept is thatyou have a certain amount of
memories and there's only aparticular amount of space, and
eventually, to make space fornew memories, new experiences,
you do have to kind of likeforget certain things, or you do
(06:01):
forget certain things.
It's a great emotional movie,but in this context, I'm going
to answer this question as ifwe're in that movie Inside Out.
Okay, and this would be onethat you would not let go into
the trash A core memory, a corememory that you wouldn't let go
of, from your childhood and I'mgoing to take Disneyland.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Oh which time.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Well, there's 29 events.
That's why I really went forthe.
I went for the answer thatmultiplied it times, my answer,
times which only you would know,29 times in my childhood, but I
think in a, in a stream line,it would be one long term
existing deep childhood memory.
And so what do you got?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Well, I kind of took the same route.
This is something that I haddone many, many, many many times
, although I can't say there's aspecific, one time only
instance from it, but it wouldbe hanging out at Teddy Bear
squeeze, which is a rockformation that was behind my
(07:05):
house, on the mountain behind myhouse.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
So we've had this question before then, because we
have an episode called TeddyBear Squeeze.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Oh, that's right Finding.
Teddy Bear Squeeze so but itmight have been a different
question.
That's my cherished memory,okay.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Well, we won't take that.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
It's obviously.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
It's been so long now and that possibly that could
have been feel like findingTeddy Bear squeeze was either.
It wasn't the first fiveepisodes and you're right, the
way this game goes.
It could have been a completelydifferent way we got there.
But as we expand out a littlebit on that question and this
one's so vanilla, so green, thisis such a green question it's.
(07:43):
It's a little a probably goodway to come back into podcasting
right now, as that is asvanilla and simple.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
It's dipping your toe into the pool.
Yeah, like, like at the, theultimate level.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
But what would be?
Was there any value from yourstandpoint, from a of of
categorizing memories like thator or qualifying memories that
way?
Is there any value to that inyour mind, for?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Well, of course, I mean the fact that we know each
other pretty well.
We probably might have been, wemight have even been able to
guess what the other personcould have said, but it's just
an opportunity, uh-oh, excuse me.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
You're in trouble.
I can take the air while youtake a sip of your lemonloft tea
by Bigelow sponsor and get ittogether.
But I think what you weregetting at is well, I was going
to say I wouldn't have guessedthat and I doubt you would.
Maybe this is the the essenceof it is, I wouldn't have
guessed specifically Teddy Bearsqueeze, and I don't think you
probably would have guessedDisneyland, that's true.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
I would have chosen your crazy, crazy adventures
from Colson street, probably,yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
That would be.
That was kind of in the contextof the, the five leading up to
it, um, and then for yours Iwould have, if I would have
guessed it it would have beenmore in the, you know, the
forests of Evergreen or themountains, something in there,
um, whether there've been, Iguess Teddy Bear squeeze does
count in that Totally.
I don't think I was thinkingTeddy Bear squeeze as much as
(09:13):
just thinking of like, um, youknow, and maybe that does the
answer All that you did, you'rejust a kind of a mountain girl
when it's when it's all said anddone.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Yeah, I just love to be in nature.
Yeah, I was sort of battlingbetween that and I think I've
shared this with you, if not onthe podcast.
Uh, when I was Way too old tobe doing this 12, 13, maybe over
the summer I decided to build ateepee right on the side of our
(09:43):
house and Essentially pretend Iwas an Indian for a couple of
weeks.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
And pretty legit.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Oh yeah, it was very um.
I Looking back, it was thatmoment in your life where you're
like you know you're leavingchildhood and you don't want to.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Right.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I did not want to.
I knew I was too old to beDressing up and playing pretend,
but I did not want to let it go.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
And do you think you do you think you had that
perspective looking back or youkind of knew that, that you
didn't want to grow up when youwere in that little crux?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
I think I kind of knew.
I remember feeling very angryat the time.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
The it's because it's I think it would be if you put
a pole to it.
It feels like it'd be oppositeof.
People can't wait to grow up,they can't wait to get out of
the spot they're in, and maybeyou leave your whole life that
way to a certain extent, and thelesson that is, that we're not
ever really content where we'reat the next is going to make it
(10:50):
all better, and that that mighthave a lot to do with childhood
also.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Yeah, possibly yeah so, but it was still.
I was existing and enjoyingthat time outside in the
mountains, you know, pullinghuge branches from from pine
trees to make my teepee.
That's just where I find peace.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
I like it, and so, because that was so boring and
and there's probably all ofVenezuela's with us, no doubt,
but our edgy engage, engagedaudiences is dumped outside, I
think we need to blitz rightinto a second question.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
And if it's, it's not the couples version of the game
, so Go ahead.
What difference would it makein your life if you felt
completely safe, accepted andloved?
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Hmm, that's the supposition of the question.
I don't even know if I use thatword, right that you did.
I'm impressed is that I'm notsafe and I'm not accepted and
I'm not loved, because it's notalways, but yeah, I mean you
don't know my life.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Well, you are correct , I don't know your life.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I'm deeply accepted.
You feel you are deeply well,with the other things, I already
forgot the question.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Oh, that's so you.
What difference would it makein your life if you felt
completely safe?
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Hold on, I'm completely safe, accepted,
totally accepted and loved.
Yeah, next question byeverybody.
Hold on you.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
You never have moments of uncertainty me.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
I'm having one right now.
No, I'm joking around the.
I think that's sort of the.
It was doing the other podcast,actually just even earlier, the
, the, the other one that I dowith the guy named Mike Howard,
and one of the conversationsthat came up is the, the again
(13:09):
the word we've used in thispodcast before, which is
affirmation, and that that itpossibly is like with Not the,
not the love language kind ofaffirmation.
I'm talking about anaffirmation I made, the made the
.
The statement that we, in a lotof ways, are continually
(13:29):
looking for affirmations of ourexistence is what I said
Affirmations that we're evenhere and that we're in this
thing.
And you, you're looking forsmall little, small little, you
know, olive branches orcommunications or a look or a
word like we matter.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Is that what, yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:49):
and I think that's the.
The heart of this question islike, whether we say it out loud
or not, that is sort of themomentum of our life, whatever
priority you give it, you ordon't give it those three things
, which I've already forgotagain, but I know the deep
meaning of it it's, it's loveand it's.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Safety, safe.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Yeah, it's the, it's our existence, and safety goes
into Instinctual surviving.
Safe, safe, you know, we, we,we Don't do a lot of hunting and
gathering right now, so safetyin our mind isn't, you know,
somebody coming into our camp atnight.
You know and and Tooth Tigerright per se, but it's, it's a,
(14:33):
it's a core human emotion.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
It is a foundation of need right in the Maslow's
hierarchy that is at the bottom.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
You are feeling better.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
I am.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Guarantee an April podcast see if.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
I was not throwing that kind of terminology.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I don't even know if used a two-syllable word.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
I'd have to look back on it, but it was a.
It was right.
It is nice to see you connected.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
So I guess what it would feel like is I think it
would feel like you made it tothe top of the hill in your
little lotus position under thetree and you've kind of the if
you.
You know, I Guess that's whatit would feel like to not Need
that.
If you really want to zen outon that, like I think that whole
(15:18):
, it would be that you forkfeeling of going through that
mattering to you.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, and I would ask you to expand a little bit more
.
And that was your teacup andTalk about so.
You kind of shared how youwould feel in a way.
But like, what difference wouldit make in your life, is the
question.
What might be different?
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Maybe I'd be If you had that balance we're talking
about.
We're having, let's say, youhave this ultimate sense of self
and belonging.
I Feel like the end result isI'd probably be more creative
and I'm talking about something.
I it's a it's stupid yellowquestion.
It's pretty good you know thatTalking about something I've
(16:05):
never really Thought throughthis way.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Yeah, I think that's what I like about these
questions is, I Don't know.
You can approach things From adifferent place to the answer.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
the studs kind of thing is like is to reverse that
thing instead of answering thequestion Is maybe you rephrase
it to yourself?
Is an answer one by one?
Do I feel safe?
Speaker 2 (16:30):
always.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Always, that's it.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
No, I'm asking you, I'm.
I threw in the always.
Do you always feel safe?
I do.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
I wouldn't know, that's that you said different
things.
Yeah, but that's.
That's a ridiculous answer.
The majority of the time I feelsafe in my my my self or my
overall perception, my physicalself.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
I generally feel.
What about psychological andemotional?
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Generally majority safe, safe, I mean that's.
It gets weird Because if youchange a couple letters there,
you know and say, do you feelsecure To that same question?
Not as much, it's not the samedominant.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
See, I think that's so interesting because I think
there Maybe one in the same.
So tell me, why not secure?
Why safe but not always secure?
Speaker 1 (17:27):
seven months Since I've said this.
How dare you push me furtherhere?
I Don't.
I guess I don't see safe andSafe to me.
Maybe I'm.
Maybe I'm giving more credenceto, I put more credence into
(17:49):
Confidence and in my sort of myability to control safety.
This is really good question.
But security is a wholedifferent thing.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
So what does security mean to you?
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Security for me means that it's more am I grounded in
that position?
Does that make sense, like Ifeel I guess I'm using a little
term of that word, but when Ihear that word security it's
like am I grounded in thatposition?
Is it a defensible position, isit?
(18:27):
And so my security would feeldifferent than safety because I
think I feel more secure, or I'dfeel less secure, maybe to, and
maybe the answer to this iswhat we're getting at here is
maybe I feel safer in thecontext of who I might be
dealing with in a conversationabout safety, because it feels
(18:51):
like it's out there.
Security's in my own head.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Oh, that's really interesting.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
It's deep as shit.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Yeah, it is, man, let's just end it A yellow card.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
What's our play out card?
It's 19 minutes.
That seems good.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
It's not bad.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
That's a pretty good podcast.
So far, you haven't evenanswered.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I haven't Because I was Think about it a bit.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
I mean, that's a hold on, that's a mic drop.
I dropped it three times.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Yeah, why?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Because, I mean, what I said was just-.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
It was that profound it needed three mic drops.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
I mean you said that I didn't, I'm just trying to
reiterate you, but I appreciateit.
I appreciate that middle part.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
If I felt completely safe, accepted and loved, I
think I what difference would itmake?
I think I could.
I don't.
I think I don't always say whatI'm thinking.
I pause and reconfigure basedon who I'm talking to.
(19:54):
I think I could be more honest,and that might even be honest
with myself, which isinteresting, you know.
I think it's well even likethinking about the last many,
many months, how hard it's been.
I've really tried to just kindof keep moving forward.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Right.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
It has been a very small handful of times I've let
it get to me.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Three.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Yeah, is it three?
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Four.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Meltdowns, meltdowns.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Meltdowns.
I mean, there's maybe two thatI have in mind, but it could be
more, because my memory's notgreat because of it all.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
There's four times I've not felt safe.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
In the last nine months.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
I wasn't thinking about that one time.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
It was secure, secure my position that you were
losing your shit but I did notfeel safe in the room.
That is valid.
That's why I can't say I'm 100%sure I'm safe.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
No, but that's a really good you're.
You know the that's like, Ithink, a really good process
you're going through there, sokeep going.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Well, I don't know that I have anything more to add
to that.
I think the honesty with myselfand with people that I am in
relationships with is probably.
That is the difference.
That's what would change, andit's weird to think I hadn't
really thought about the factthat I'm not honest.
I think I'm measured, I thinkI'm always reading a situation
(21:34):
and that I would say probablygoes all the way back to my
childhood, where it wasn'tnecessarily safe in my household
.
So there's always thissurveillance and trying to
determine what's the best thingto do here.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Do you want to expand on that, or is that just right
where it lies?
Speaker 2 (21:58):
I'm just going to leave it there.
I don't want to expand on itright now.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
It sounds juicy.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
It's juicy and we've I think we've kind of alluded to
things here and there.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Right.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
In this podcast in the past.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
So we're at a little midpoint here and we're going to
do a, which we haven't done ina long time, but we're going to
do one.
Let's see if I can get it here.
We're going to do a review.
It's on I'm going to screw thisup.
I'm almost positive.
It's on Apple.
I'm a killer TV.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
And, if I fuck that up, it's on Amazon Prime.
Lessons in chemistry is a 2023American period drama television
ministry is developed by LeeEisenberg based on the novel of
the same name by Bonnie Garmus.
It stars Brie Larson as achemist, elizabeth Zott, who
begins hosting her own feministcooking show in the 1960s
(22:55):
America.
Its first two episodespremiered on Apple TV plus in
October of 2023.
And we really like this showand I'm going to let you talk on
it a little bit here, becauseyou watch the show, love the
show and just finished the book.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Yeah, I listened to it.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
That's reading it.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I don't know that that's the case, but I consumed
it.
How about that?
Wait, I listened.
I didn't use my eyes and readit, because that's still really
hard for me.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
I really got to apologize to a lot of people.
That's not what I've beentelling people.
A lot of my friends think I'mreading a lot of books.
Damn it.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Well.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Talk about a little bit.
I mean, that was a goodsynopsis, but Okay.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
So the feminist string that is pulled throughout
the entire story is strong andit's sound.
It's not over the top.
It really highlights theprogress that women have
experienced since I think thestory actually really starts in
(24:11):
the 50s and really before that,because we're talking about when
some of the characters wereborn, because it goes back a
little bit into their childhood.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Right.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
So, thinking about the type of progress that women
have had during that time stillquite a ways to go, but it's
really nice to have that viewand see what has happened over
that time.
But this is.
It's a great story about awoman who is fierce in her
(24:47):
determination and her sense ofright and wrong.
It is black and white in hermind.
There are no gray areas.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Yeah, and I think it would be in my perspective.
You would be able to tell memore from reading the book
possibly.
I almost thought there was aninference in the TV series and I
could be way off with this thatshe was even slightly, maybe on
a spectrum.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
That's not really addressed in the book, but I
also thought the same In the TVshow.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Did you get that sense?
Yeah, because in the movie.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
And even in the book.
Even in the book I got thatsense, but it was not addressed.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Yeah, and it was that sort of like that detached
attention, massive attention todetail and sort of her.
The way they did it in the showwas like, I guess in the term I
don't know if it's apolitically correct word to say,
but that sort of spinning thatcan go on in certain areas of
the spectrum where it's highlyevolved, super beyond even like
(25:42):
what we're thinking about.
But on point, without a lot ofemotion, is what her character
is yeah, that's very true.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
In fact, I listened to an interview of the author
and I really was kind of waitingfor her to say that that was
her take on this character thatshe created and she never did.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
She didn't, she did not Interesting.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
She talked about her brilliance, her genius, her, you
know this intellect that justleft everybody else around her
in the dust, but she did notinfer that she was on the
spectrum.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Anything as far as, like you know, zero being.
You know nothing to do with thebook.
10 being an accuraterepresentation of the book the
Apple TV show.
Now that you've read it, wherewould you put it in there?
10 being like it's like thefrom the pages and zero being
they took their own spin.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Some parts are from the pages I wouldn't say.
Well, he asked.
They did take their spin incertain ways, which I think was
probably smart.
There's diversity in the showthat isn't necessarily reflected
in the book and I think thatwas a really nice addition,
especially the activism thathappens in the show.
And of course, the book, asalways happens, is a far more
(26:58):
expansive story than what we gotin the show, but they're both
very good.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
I like it.
And so let's do our grades.
And I think we have our littleDave Portnoy pizza kind of scale
with our wings and all thatstuff.
We call our 10th of a pointwings.
Oh no, it's just the rating.
And then if you want to give itwings, it's upgraded.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
And I think we went.
Did we go to 10?
I think we did.
We went to lower to 10.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah, I don't know that we've ever scored anything
a 10, but no, we haven't.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
We've been up there, though, so I'll let you grade
first on lessons in chemistry onApple TV, your score.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
I will say eight, six .
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I'm going nine one, I feel it's that over the top,
just over the top of that tothat level where I think I
wouldn't want to leave any doubtthat it was binge worthy and we
were forced to watch it.
A lot of shows have done thatlately, which is sort of
(27:59):
becoming retro now, where we'reforced to wait seven days.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
How dare they?
And you know what I will say ismy score is probably reflecting
the fact that the book was justbetter, so it's not necessarily
a fair assessment on just theshow alone.
Because I loved the show somuch, I wanted more of it, which
is why I started listening tothe book.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
All right, my turn for a question.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Okay, debbie Downer.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
This is my bit this section there's so much respect
when I do yours.
Let me edit this right now.
I'm gonna block that out andwe're gonna write back.
It's um, hey, babe, it's myturn for a question Ready roll
it.
My questions.
(28:56):
How do I say this in a waythat's my people in Venezuela
will understand it.
I don't fuck around with myquestions.
When it comes to resolvingconflict, what skills do you
wish to get better at aspartners?
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Oh, oh yeah, I mean that is good, I know where did
you get that?
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Well, I'm just getting tired of this game that
you're playing you asked me topull out these questions.
I think you're stalling,because the thing about my
question is you have to answerit first.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Okay, yeah, ask it again.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
I don't even know if I want to ask this question
anymore, because it's likeyou're really looks like you're
revving up.
This really looks like this wasa not engaged 29 minutes and 42
seconds and as soon as I'mtalking about this question, I
feel like you the fact that youhave an answer and Like a
witness on the stand, you wantto repeat the question because
(29:53):
you feel like this is gonnaconvict me.
When it comes to resolvingconflict, what skills do you
wish to get better at aspartners?
Speaker 2 (30:04):
As partners.
So this means Not just what Iwant to do better, but we Could
do better.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
I think it's a free-for-all, I think.
I think, though, I'm gonna.
It's my question and it's agreat question.
It's probably the best questionthat's ever been asked on this
podcast.
Wow with those terms.
I'm gonna tell you that I thinkit's.
I guess I'm saying is have funwith it, like it can be a little
bit of all of it, like whatyou'd like to see me better at,
you better at, or what we needto do just a little.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
There's no, no boundary, bring it on, is what
I'm saying well, I think wecould certainly do better
Addressing conflict in themoment, like when it happens
once, when something is amiss Tobe able to have a conversation
(30:54):
about, is it?
This is hard because we oftendon't address it immediately.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Because we're emotional, no, the emotional.
And then?
Speaker 2 (31:02):
then you don't want to say the wrong thing.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Yeah, the night I'll be.
I'll be super honest about it.
It's like there a lot of times.
It's just I'm not ready to sayit and there's no other thing
other than am I, am I nervousabout it?
Am I?
Am I?
Am I not we?
I'm jumping in on your answerright now, but we're in the
(31:26):
couple part of the answer.
It's like I think what happensis is like, and I'll give you
the exact answer.
Sometimes you'll walk in andsay what's wrong and I'm like
nothing and I'll just liesomething about work thinking
about this.
The reality is is I've stumbledonto one thing that I can't
process fast enough to give ananswer.
So most of my life I'm justprocessing.
(31:47):
I've got an idea and I've got aplan and sometimes, if I catch
it and what, I can even startdoing this.
I have no problem saying I canstart doing this, which is I can
probably just start barfing itout real time and see how that
goes meaning your, yourProcessing, doing your
(32:07):
processing allowed in thatmoment.
Yeah, you always get.
You always end up getting theresult of what I was thinking
about, and it's not all the time, it's just some of the time,
like where I'm there.
But I think what I'm doing isI'm just maybe not maybe I've
got such a Reputation in my ownhead of being this ultimate
problem-solver and processor.
When I get caught in a quietmoment, I'm away from a scene,
(32:28):
I'm away from the event and inyou that whole thing, like what
are you thinking right now?
Because I think generally youlike, I think I do it enough
that you basically just it'swhat you're thinking.
I think most of the time when Isay, what are you thinking
about?
Like on a drive from theairport.
(32:48):
Right and you're looking out thewindow.
I'm like what are you thinkingabout?
It's what people people do toeach other.
Yeah, I guess that's.
The answer is like how manytimes?
How much of those times are youtruthful to me?
Speaker 2 (32:58):
That's a good question.
Think about how I answered aprevious question with a lie.
Yeah, like I don't always saywhat I'm thinking, because I'm
Trying to figure out how to sayit, or trying to figure out what
should be said in that momentand what's not appropriate to be
so what?
Speaker 1 (33:18):
what percentage?
Is mine is, mine is 100%.
I'm truthful all the time.
So you're go ahead, you go I.
Don't know, I'd have to thinkabout that I am 100% truthful
all the time I just can'tbelieve that.
I think on that.
To put myself on joking the I'dsay Honestly, we're together all
the time, 33 years, 90% of thetime yeah, I think 90% time to
(33:42):
10% is just like and now I'd beon the gun of like of of when
and what and what I'm processingand you know it probably a lot
of times mostly has to do withit.
It seems like always has to dowith money.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Right, yeah, that's a .
That's a tricky Conflict areafor us.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Well, it's, it's, or, I think, with the statistics
show divorce statistics and allthese things show it's, it's in
and coffee with my friendstalking with our kids, or at
work, or or a property man it's,it's the thing.
It's the thing in the world.
I mean even doing articles forthe magazine.
Yeah the thing housing all ofit, it's it's just preeminent
(34:26):
clout over of Shit and it's andso, yeah, it catches you Lying
about it.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Hmm.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
We use that word it's not.
It's not something huge.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Yeah, no, I know what you're saying it, but it kind
of makes me go back to thequestion I asked earlier about
If you felt completely safe,accepted and loved.
Do you need to lie about themoney situations either?
Anybody, I guess.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
No yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
I think that's what I'm saying is we, we is is
however confident we are.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
Nobody is a hundred percent of the time feeling that
way, and that is why we makedecisions that you know or that
could be better, and say thingsthat maybe we shouldn't say, or
don't say things that we shouldSay it is weird that after 33
years plus 33 years coming up inJune, I guess, but 33 years
(35:25):
together now, plus whatever itis that there's I guess the
question is how much time do youneed to spend with somebody
when you don't lie to themanymore?
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Because this is a long time.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
It is a long time and it's.
It's not like I Wouldn't saythe lies are destructive lies.
There's a difference.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Well, I'm saying but it's still, it's still this,
it's this weird question toanswer and it is a lie and it's
not.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
I would never have.
Classified Anything that goeson between us as lying no, in it
for this conversation, but it Imean, if you Want to be really
succinct about it, that is whatit is right, and so you're still
.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
That was.
That's the couples part of theanswer.
So, bottom lines, let's stoplying to each other.
Let's get that.
Let's get that started, okay 33years later yeah, just like and
I think I'm lying right nowbecause I think I'll probably
lie to you again, as I was justhaving a thought.
I said this probably not thelast time when you asked me
(36:31):
what's on my mind, so I justlied, oh.
Yeah about never lying again.
But I'm gonna try.
I'm gonna try really hard.
I think it's actually kind of afun game.
It's a very exposed game to tryto play and always say what's
actually on your mind.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Well, I have to say, when I answered that question
earlier and I said I don'talways say what I'm thinking
about, I was.
I was really thinking more inthe context of work and Friends,
all of it.
I wasn't thinking about you andI yeah, and we had this
conversation before.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
Sometimes it might be just that go ahead.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
I was just gonna.
Sometimes I'm in a work meetingwith our entire team and you
don't want to know what's goingthrough my head.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
No, right, right, there's that part of it, so some
of it, it just it could open upsome.
But what do I'm thinking aboutit?
Because it's, you know, we'vetalked about that on this
podcast as far as the ebbs andflows of like, attraction and a
relationship and like when youkind of like are or not
attracted to somebody, and thatmight be sometimes over.
Like you know, this is gettingvery kind of raw.
(37:37):
But there might be a period oftime over a period of time like
I might be sitting there goinglike why aren't you making a
move on me, right, the wholenight?
Let you know, like and and wesay, what do you think?
And I'm be like just Going toMegan's tomorrow.
See like a really stupid thingto say.
If your agenda is that the lastthing you want to say is
(37:58):
something because it feels likeit would put me farther away
from that.
You know that, that that youknow concept, but the reality of
life proves probably not true.
Probably would be good to saywhat you're thinking.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Absolutely, I think so she found a toy.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
I hid every toy in the house from this dog and she
found one.
She found one without a squeak,so smart I think she must have
gone under the.
I hit a pile on that thing ourdogs interrupting the podcast.
Um, so did we milk everythingout there, or did we just get
started on it?
That was pretty good.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
It was really good.
It led to a great conversation.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
And that's what this is all about.
So there's a segue here.
We got to just kind of work ourway through here a little bit.
I'm gonna play a flute for you.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Not just any flute song, did you?
Speaker 1 (38:44):
already pick it up.
Yeah, that's one of yourrecords, man.
She like like right now, justclose your eyes.
You're in the redwood forestand You're sitting there and
there's dew on the trees.
The sun is gently comingthrough and this tiny little
woodland elf comes out with aflute and you're like what fuck
(39:06):
is that little thing playing?
And you're like it's thatlittle woodland creature which I
didn't even think existed inthe world playing.
Take on me by a ha of all thesongs in the history of songs.
And.
And then a tear falls from youreye.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
I Would consider that little woodland elf with the
flute mm-hmm to be Brian'spersonal outdoor angel.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
No, that is.
I think that's racist.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
It's not.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
I was taking a shot.
All right, let's go to the.
I think we're getting all of itin.
I think we did.
Aha, I think we've been goingtoo long to have any kind of a
sponsorship right now.
I'll gear that up next time,because that's really I don't
think you can take seven monthsoff and think that we're
chock-full of sponsors, but, um,let's go to the.
(39:58):
Let's go to the red question.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
I'm gonna start by saying I think this is an
important question whoa for allrelationships oh all.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
Really it's not ours, because ours already ours, we
can't take much more tonight.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
This is good.
Are you ready?
When you are sad or upset aboutsomething, how do you like to
be comforted?
Hmm?
Speaker 1 (40:31):
Are you already geared up?
What can I have a little time?
Do you have an idea?
Speaker 2 (40:37):
I Well, I have to start by saying what I don't
like.
Hmm is being comforted.
Immediate problem solving.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
Yeah, that's right, director, right at me.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
But I know it's done with good intention.
But it's not just you.
I have friends and Familymembers that all I think it's
human nature when someone wecare about is upset.
We want that to change.
So we.
I do it too, and I try to bemindful of not doing it, but
sometimes I just immediately goto that.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
Yeah, and I would say that there's an internal part
of being sad in the minute you.
It's very difficult.
And then this is a goodquestion, because it's very
difficult when you Open up aconversation about your sadness.
So what you're saying is, whenyou open up the conversation
(41:33):
about sadness, you Are becausewe've been on the other ends of
some of these conversationswhere you're told I don't want
you to talk, I'm gonna say somestuff right now.
That sucks.
It sucks to be on that end ofit.
But then also, when you open upa conversation and You're,
unless it's stated, you don'twant anybody because a lot of
(41:56):
people would considerproblem-solving comfort.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Yes, but it's not actually because we need to be
able to express that sadness oryou know what, at whatever the
emotion is, there's somethingcalled the Trying to it's.
It was a long time ago I readabout this.
(42:20):
It's called the stress cycle.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Do you have?
Speaker 2 (42:23):
it by Amelia and Emily Nagoski.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
It's a book.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
Um, well, I read about it.
Yeah, it's, it's a book calledburnout the secret unlocking the
stress cycle.
But what I'm trying to get atis the Importance of being
allowed to feel upset.
Is it's really important to letyourself Completely run through
the stress cycle?
So having it be interrupted bysomebody who's trying to problem
(42:53):
solve for you Actually haltsthat process of going through
the entire cycle.
Sometimes we might need to cryor scream or just talk it out
and let ourselves run throughthe course of it, naturally
ourselves, even if it's notnecessarily resolved at the end
of it.
That Allows our stress system,our stress cycle, to complete,
(43:20):
and if we don't complete it, wehold on to that stress.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
That's a lot to ask me something else.
Just sit there and and and Iget.
I guess I get it in theConfront of like, recently we
had somebody you know.
Let's say there's a momentthere, there's there's some
natural moments where you knowsomebody comes in and they're
wearing it.
Let's say there, they hadsomebody that they cared about
that just died, and you justbasically give them a hug and
(43:44):
you kind of are like you're justthere for them.
You're there for them.
That's one part of it, but whenthat other person, I'd have to
almost get through some, somescenarios of when other person
starts talking about theirsadness, it seems, it seems, oh.
I think I know where you'regoing odd to to say I would have
(44:06):
to hear it out loud to knowthat that doesn't feel even more
Isolating for that person ifthey're talking and other
persons just like.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
Well, it's more along the lines of saying I hear you?
Oh yeah, but what if you don'thear them?
Speaker 1 (44:20):
It sounds so hard, but what if you it does?
It is very hard, but what ifyou?
Speaker 2 (44:23):
No, I mean, that's what you say to them.
That sounds really hard.
I can see why you're so upset.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
So let's say, in a certain scenario, maybe lie to
them if you don't see what I'msaying is like.
Let's say you have a differentperspective than somebody on a
subject.
Sure, Not all the time.
I'm just talking about thesecertain circumstances where you
you maybe you're not sure Maybeit is the time for some white
lies, is what you're saying?
Speaker 2 (44:47):
Well, I guess you can look at it that way.
I didn't look at it in that way, but it's really about them,
not what you think about theirsituation.
It's you being there for him.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
But they're talking to you For them.
Doesn't that open up?
Speaker 2 (45:01):
Well, that's what people do when they trust each
other.
And so if you and your mind arelike, oh my God, this is
ridiculous, and trying tointerrupt their stream of
consciousness, talking throughthis by problem solving you're
it's almost disrespectful in away, Right, Does that make sense
(45:24):
?
Speaker 1 (45:24):
It does, it does, it completely does, and I think
it's kind of sensing the room,but it also is it's also very
it's also it's understandablethat that's the exact scenario
that you would want is to beable to emote and people
recognize your emotions andbasically groove with you.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
You know what I just thought about.
I'm sorry I interrupted you,but I think that's where there
are appropriate relationships toshare.
And some relationships wheremaybe you're not close enough to
to share that deeply, and maybefor the person who's being
(46:09):
shared with or hearing this,that's where it feels kind of
like whoa, that's a lot, becauseit's like I'm not, I don't
think of you in in the way thatI can carry what you're, what
you're handing off to me.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
Yeah, carry, or or it's that that also be the,
maybe that's the, the deck ofcards you've got, as far as you
know, understanding your sadnessand knowing you know how to
present it or how to it's.
It's an interesting question, Ithink.
(46:48):
I think you're right in a way.
I think for me it's like a lotof times we're almost talking
about well, no, we are talkingabout sadness, you know sadness.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
Well, this says sad or upset.
I mean, the question was how doyou like to be comforted?
And I kind of started with howI don't like to be comforted,
and that's how we got here.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
Yeah, and do you have a lot of people the the problem
solving?
I kind of I put in a categorymore of like business or or
angst or that kind of a thingwhere, where you know, like this
happened to me, and then youknow and I'm pissed and it's
(47:25):
like, well, have you thought ofit?
But the sadness one seems to bemore instinctual, an
instinctual kind of relationshipwith somebody Like you you can
be like I'm probably better atsadness as far as my demeanor
with somebody than I would be ata problem.
Like somebody presents me witha problem, I'm immediately
(47:46):
saying like well, fuck, have youthought of that?
Have you ever done?
I'm on the game Like we'rewe're problem solving.
This is different, because I'mtrying to think of when I've
been presented with sadness.
Um, uh, no, I do problem solveit.
I probably tried to problemsolve my mom's sadness.
You know, you try to, you, do?
You do try to like, do like.
I'm thinking like this stupidfucking sugar packets and you
(48:10):
know, in the cheesecake factoryand stuff like that is problem
solving.
Where?
What the theory is?
You just listen.
But then, um, where are yougetting?
Speaker 2 (48:20):
So what I was going to say is you know, in that
moment, if someone's expressingtheir upset or sad, that's when
you just listen at a later timeyou can say hey, I was thinking
about what you were sharing withme and I had some thoughts.
So it's at a different time.
Speaker 1 (48:35):
But I want to impress them that I know right then.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
So it's about you.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
Yeah, jesus, I see, you know that, I see Okay, so I
get it.
Let's hear about you.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
How do you, when you're sad or upset, how do you
like to be comforted?
Speaker 1 (48:50):
I think, and now, this one I don't even present to
other people because I handleit this way, I just I don't
present it, I'm left alone.
Speaker 2 (48:58):
Eventually, I do like , even on this you do pull
yourself away.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
I do, but, but eventually I have no problem
talking about it, like I'll talkabout my dad's death, my
grandpa's death.
I don't not, gavin, I don't nottalk about it, but I already
know the answer to the question.
It's a little boring, is that?
Um, I want to.
I not only do I want to be leftalone, I don't even operate.
This is maybe one conflictedwith the question, because I
don't present myself To somebodyand say, no, I'm just going to
(49:22):
dump shit, but shut the fuck up,I don't.
I don't do that, like on somelevel, because I figure, like,
once I start talking, I'm likeyou know, like I wasn't even sad
with my dad, I want to hearsomething from you.
I do I.
When I say it like, like, or mygrandpa, I'm like, I'm
presenting it and I'm like Iwant to engage on this weird
thought I had.
You know about the way I feltabout my my you know, my dad's
(49:44):
death, or putting the dog down,that kind of thing.
But I didn't, I didn't.
I do.
I do get away at first, because, again, I just want to figure
my shit out.
Speaker 2 (49:54):
Yeah, well, you know, I think you have a that.
That's how you process.
You process in your head alone.
Speaker 1 (50:01):
Right.
Speaker 2 (50:02):
Um, not everybody does that, and a lot of people,
especially if it's somethingthat's super overwhelming, they
need.
There's actually research thatshows that we can uh, when we
say things out loud, we hearwhat we say, and that helps us
to figure things out.
It helps us to process things.
(50:23):
Sometimes you say what's goingon in your head and then you're
like, oh my God, did I just saythat?
That's a ridiculous thought.
Speaker 1 (50:29):
Right.
Speaker 2 (50:30):
You know that that kind of thing is super important
and I really feel like ifsomebody is sharing something
really personal about whatthey're sad or upset about,
they're actually saying I trustyou and I need help right now,
and that's.
That's a pretty special thingactually.
Speaker 1 (50:51):
It is.
Speaker 2 (50:52):
But it does feel weird if it, if it, from your
perspective, feels like aninappropriate relationship or
you don't have that kind of arelationship.
Speaker 1 (51:02):
Or yeah, I guess and I've got to rethink this because
I figured if we're talkingwe're just talking and so I've
got to understand that a littlebit more.
But the bottom line, to put abow on that, we agree, my
position is correct.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
I wouldn't say that.
Speaker 1 (51:13):
We didn't.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
I never really said what I, what I like, how I like
to be comforted.
I just said what I don't like.
Speaker 1 (51:20):
That's part of my whole thing right now is I'm
right and this podcast is over.
Speaker 2 (51:25):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (51:26):
That's it Okay, bye.
Good Finish that.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
Um well, I like it when you hug me.
Speaker 1 (51:33):
Oh, we're down to me and you.
Speaker 2 (51:35):
Well, yeah, how do I like to be comforted.
I like.
I like it when somebodyresponds in a way that lets me
know they've heard me and andthat they're not judging me.
Speaker 1 (51:50):
It's very hard for me .
I can, I can break out a goodhug every once in a while.
But I think, um, you're gettingat the fact that I think and I
recognize this sometimes is Idon't, I don't probably observe
enough, um, when that, uh, thehug vibes are coming um strong,
that meaning you're not sayinghug me, but you're, but you
(52:11):
would I, I think you know that Ican recognize sometimes like
this is for you a hug would go along way right now.
Speaker 2 (52:19):
Like, like when I really need it, I just reach out
and hug you.
I don't wait for you to read mymind.
Speaker 1 (52:24):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (52:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
So I need to recognize more when you need a
hug.
Speaker 2 (52:31):
I'm not saying anything, that you're doing
anything wrong.
I am.
Speaker 1 (52:35):
I'm saying my other.
There's a second part to this.
You need to recognize more whenI want nooky.
Speaker 2 (52:41):
Oh yes, so I'll, I'll be on the hunt for hugs.
Speaker 1 (52:44):
Okay, all right, and then um for tat, literally
literally, we're going to playour game a little bit.
Let me see if I can.
I got to get.
Not, this isn't the game.
Speaker 2 (52:54):
Remember where which game are we doing?
Speaker 1 (52:56):
the Spotify blend game.
Okay.
Speaker 2 (52:59):
You have.
You have a book out, so Ididn't know if that's what you
want.
Speaker 1 (53:01):
This is called this is called production value.
Gotcha Little music in the back.
It's a good song and I'm goingto great song.
I can't even that's when youinterrupt me.
I'm going to play that from nowon, but I'm in a perfectly good
segment and I'm playingdeathcap for cutie.
Speaker 2 (53:21):
Yes, you are.
Speaker 1 (53:22):
And it's I'll follow you into the dark.
I'm scratching off a romanticday.
Speaker 2 (53:27):
So I'm supposed to do assault me I was not assaulting
you.
I'm confused.
Am I supposed to guess who'ssong this is?
Speaker 1 (53:34):
No, I think if we rewound it, I said this isn't
the guess and this is again anice.
This was such a romantic,beautifully planned out segment
that now feels like I was goingto try to scratch this really
fast and see what our date is.
That says let's mix it up.
It's one part appetizer, onepart dance party.
(53:58):
Search for salsa lessons onYouTube, stream it to your TV
and then grab your partner.
I like that, yeah, becausewe've taken a couple of dance
classes, but the kind of thethought more spontaneously of
doing a DIY, you know, do ityourself kind of salsa lesson
right here.
Speaker 2 (54:17):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (54:19):
Because we've got the fundamentals of some concepts
we do Not of you know, but wewould be able to pull that off.
Yeah, all right, so we'llreport back on that one.
Speaker 2 (54:26):
We will.
Speaker 1 (54:28):
Now, this is a high level of difficulty.
Speaker 2 (54:30):
We'll have to do it very slow, yeah, because dancing
is not easy for me right now.
Speaker 1 (54:34):
No, okay, I'm going to do it.
And give me a number.
Speaker 2 (54:38):
I like the number 12.
Speaker 1 (54:40):
Okay, I can do that, let me just get it on the button
here.
Hmm, anything.
Speaker 2 (54:57):
It's got to be Ainsley's from a show.
Definitely sounds like it'sfrom a show.
Speaker 1 (55:04):
There's a soundtrack, yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:07):
And because there's so many different, it's
hilarious.
Classical instruments.
Yeah, oh yeah, it's fromMatilda.
Matilda, this is brand new.
You can see it in right now.
Which?
Speaker 1 (55:19):
she's in in Colorado, which opened last Friday, and
so we're going to be.
We're going to be Ainsley, andthis will make her very happy,
but that's, that means they'restill using the Spotify family
plan.
Speaker 2 (55:28):
Yes, that's it.
Oh, that's great.
Speaker 1 (55:29):
It's on there.
So, um, if you're in Denver andwe got a few people, yeah, and
then we're going to be in thetown theater.
Matilda runs all the waythrough, I think, the 30th or
31st of December, december.
Um, she's been saying it's aphenomenal cast.
Kids are incredibly talented.
She's one of the big kids inMatilda.
Yeah, and the understudy yeah,miss Honey, we did it, babe.
Speaker 2 (55:52):
We did it.
Speaker 1 (55:53):
As always, no matter how we find the path, we end up
at 55 minutes.
Speaker 2 (55:57):
That's bizarre.
Love you Love you, love you.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.