October 18, 2025 • 46 mins
A courthouse makes it legal—but a room full of people who love you? That’s what makes it feel like a marriage.
In this episode of The Broken Tiles Podcast, Stacey and Brian return from Syracuse, where their son’s eleven-year love story turned into one of the most joy-filled, grounded celebrations they’ve ever experienced—grandmas waving glow sticks. Cousins laughing like no time had passed. Two families folding into each other in a way that felt both official and beautifully easy.
Brian had the honor of officiating the ceremony—nontraditional, deeply personal, and written for a couple who don’t do religion but do believe in meaning, daily choice, and the kind of love that shows up in the everyday. (Yes, there was a hidden Lord of the Rings reference. And yes, only one sibling caught it.)
They reflect on what happens when estranged relatives reunite after twenty years—not to rehash the past, but to quietly begin again. They talk about why this wedding felt different, and how years of shared milestones—graduations, birthdays, cross-country visits—had already blended their families long before the music started.
After a long absence from podcasting, Brian offers a heartfelt apology to the entire country of Venezuela.....on Stacey’s behalf.
The episode also explores three relationship questions they posed to each other:
– What’s the most unexpected thing about being with me?
– I love you most when __________.
– And the one that stumped them both: Choose five words to describe my future that I don’t dare imagine.
They unpack how long-term couples stay connected: through small rituals, simple language, and navigating the quiet toll of sleep loss and mental spinning. They revisit how parenting reshaped their views on gender, why they chose gender-neutral names, and how their kids’ different life paths challenged assumptions they didn’t realize they had.
To close things out, they share their love for K-dramas like Castaway Diva and Extraordinary Attorney Woo—soft, smart, emotionally generous shows that forced them to slow down and reset.
If you're in the mood for a thoughtful, funny, grounded listen about weddings that heal, families that try again, and the questions that get under the surface—this one’s for you.
Press play, then share your answers to the big questions—or the bridge you’re thinking about rebuilding. And don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and pass this along to someone who loves a good reunion story.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_03 (00:01):
This is the Brooklyn Piles Pop and Hunt.
SPEAKER_00 (00:08):
Babe.
SPEAKER_03 (00:09):
Hi, honey.
It's been a while since we'vedone that.
SPEAKER_01 (00:12):
I was hoping you weren't gonna say that.
Hi.
I think we need to be kinder toourselves.
SPEAKER_03 (00:17):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (00:18):
I think we start every episode with it's been a
while, or is that just astatement of fact?
SPEAKER_03 (00:24):
It's a fact.
SPEAKER_01 (00:26):
We uh don't treat our audience with the due
respect.
It leads me to um just aquestion I want to ask you right
out of the gate.
Okay, and I want you to answerit, okay?
SPEAKER_03 (00:36):
Okay.
Why do we respect Venezuela?
Disrespect, but not intentional.
SPEAKER_01 (00:49):
I think an apology is necessary.
To our number one fans.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
Para Stacy.
Me desculpo con todo el país.
Yo, Stacy.
Lo siento por nuestros fansnumero one.
SPEAKER_03 (01:04):
Brian es el mayor.
Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_01 (01:08):
What happened?
SPEAKER_03 (01:10):
Oh, there's Azuki bringing her toy to us.
SPEAKER_01 (01:13):
She's back in the show.
She can't take it.
Saw this one coming.
This goes back to episode two orthree where uh she didn't now
and you're doing the same thingthere.
You're playing with her.
SPEAKER_03 (01:22):
I've got helpful to ignore her.
SPEAKER_01 (01:24):
Yeah, like we went through this a long time ago.
Weddings.
SPEAKER_03 (01:28):
Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_01 (01:29):
Time.
SPEAKER_03 (01:30):
Mm-hmm.
Oh, you mean time in between?
SPEAKER_01 (01:33):
Time in between.
What else?
Seven months since we'vepodcasted.
SPEAKER_03 (01:38):
I can't believe it's been that long.
SPEAKER_01 (01:40):
Yeah.
It's I think the I guess there'sso many updates to give, and you
know, there's the why sevenmonths, and a lot of it has to
do with life more vibes thananything else.
It's not as if podcasting morethan ever.
I think we had a joke about ayear ago that it was only one or
two, and it kind of felt like Ithink the conversation was it
(02:00):
felt like it was cheating when Iwas tech, you know, um
podcasting with somebody else.
Now it's 17 different podcasts.
That many.
Yeah, when you include likeMinnesota, it's all over.
So I think what happens is youand I have the best intention,
and then I might have just donethree or four, and even though
we're set up, it's like the lastthing I feel like doing.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (02:19):
But I we love doing it when we finally get to it.
So we have to make it like adate night.
SPEAKER_01 (02:24):
And I think that's it.
It's Friday night, we're sittingat home.
I brought the gear home.
You know, I think that's helpfulin a way because I got my little
drink.
It's not even a sound effect.
SPEAKER_03 (02:35):
No.
SPEAKER_01 (02:35):
It was like a poor man's Manhattan.
A poor whiskey, bitters, cherry.
SPEAKER_03 (02:42):
Simple.
SPEAKER_01 (02:42):
Yeah, it works right now.
Although I shouldn't probably bedrinking with the medicine.
SPEAKER_03 (02:46):
No.
SPEAKER_01 (02:48):
Different podcast.
But let's not bury the lead.
We just got back from Syracuse,raised the kids back there.
And huge moment this lastweekend.
SPEAKER_03 (02:58):
Our boy got married to an amazing girl.
SPEAKER_01 (03:02):
We gathered a new Upton.
unknown (03:05):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (03:05):
Well, she's been in Upton for a while.
SPEAKER_01 (03:07):
I I don't know though.
Yeah, I mean, I guess shelegally changed her name, what,
two weeks from now?
SPEAKER_03 (03:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (03:12):
It's a bit there's a difference.
It felt and I would have I wouldagree with you that she's been
part of the family, and youknow, definitely in that
context.
But wedding invitations, the wayI spoke about her at the
wedding, it's you know, until weannounced them, like, you know,
the you know, Kenzie and BaileyUpton, and she changed her
Facebook.
There's little official thingswe do in the world right now
that make it a little moreofficial.
SPEAKER_03 (03:33):
It's true.
SPEAKER_01 (03:34):
And it felt different.
SPEAKER_03 (03:35):
It did.
It was so special.
It was the most joyful weddingI've ever experienced.
SPEAKER_01 (03:43):
And I think clearly we're biased.
Um but there was some uniqueaspects to it.
One of them they'd been datingfor eleven years.
Two, they got married lastspring here in Santa Cruz at the
courthouse, the world we livein.
She's PA there, cut their housein Turlock doing a couple years
there.
But I think you can't not passup that advantage to get the
(04:04):
benefits of being married forinsurance and things like that.
So they knew what was happening.
There were two years ago heproposed the wedding was always
October 25th in Syracuse.
SPEAKER_03 (04:12):
Not 25th.
SPEAKER_01 (04:14):
October 25th.
SPEAKER_03 (04:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (04:16):
Uh in Syracuse.
And um, I think last spring wasjust to kind of get the you
know, the insurance in order andkind of take advantage of some
of the benefits.
SPEAKER_03 (04:25):
And that was sweet, but this was epic.
SPEAKER_01 (04:27):
Yeah, what I'm saying is I think that made
this.
I think the fact that you do itin stages like that, I guess I
was finishing my thought, islike dating for 11 years,
getting married last yearlegally, and then having
essentially a party lastSaturday.
That's what it felt like.
SPEAKER_03 (04:42):
Yes.
Yeah, it was really it was somuch fun.
There was uh a greatrepresentation of all of our
family.
And at one point we had all thegrandmas on the dance floor with
the disco sticks.
SPEAKER_01 (04:58):
It was crazy.
SPEAKER_03 (04:59):
It was so cute.
SPEAKER_01 (05:01):
And even my mom, you know, and we've talked about it
a little bit, but there's um,you know, family dynamics are
family dynamics, but cutting tothe quick of it all, there was a
lot of people that hadn't seeneach other in 20 years.
And there was a lot of emotionsthat went into that week and a
lot of anticipation nerves.
And without getting to the highweeds of it, it was a huge
lesson in there, I think, andand that is, you know, it's as
(05:25):
if nothing had ever happened theminute people present themselves
to each other.
And I'm not saying that's alwaysthe case.
I know it can be multifacetedand kind of everybody's
situation is a little different,but there is a um, I think there
is a lesson that it is aboutthese relationships, it's about
being with each other.
And I think we drift apartsometimes and the chasm becomes
(05:46):
more of the actual reason andproblem that you might not have
been communicating.
SPEAKER_03 (05:53):
Yeah, I think there was so a lot of beauty in the
fact that those that wereestranged from each other for so
long without talking about itjust decided to let all that go
and start from that moment theysaw each other again.
SPEAKER_01 (06:08):
That's exactly it.
And it's nice.
And it's there's this um, youknow, we've been lucky enough
for 11 years.
I've been to enough weddings,and we've even had some in the
family where that wedding issometimes day one of this new
merging of the families.
And the fact that they've datedfor 11 years and different
events here in theirgraduations, birthday parties,
(06:29):
times back home here and there.
We've gotten to know her side ofthe family.
She's clearly been immersed inour side of the family, and I
think that made that party a lotdifferent because we were pretty
loose with the Schischlers andthat side of the family just for
because we've known them.
So a lot of the stars aligned,right?
SPEAKER_03 (06:48):
It was very comfortable.
SPEAKER_01 (06:49):
Yeah.
It was great.
What was your favorite part?
unknown (06:57):
Gosh.
SPEAKER_03 (06:58):
I keep talking about all the grandmas on the dance
floor, and I just loved that.
That might be my favorite part.
No.
My favorite part was youofficiating.
That was that really touched myheart.
SPEAKER_01 (07:12):
It was weird and fun.
It was more weird in conceptthan it was when it actually
rolled out.
And I think the fact that it wasmore on the nose, what's the
word, philosophical, or orneither of them are particularly
religious.
I think they believe they havefaith and they have
spirituality, but I don't thinkthey're particularly religious.
And that led me to kind of go upthere and just write something
that was more knowing them theway I know them.
(07:35):
It was pretty easy to uh fromour it's almost from our
conversations here that it'sjust an evolution of a lot of
the conversations we have hereon a Saturday or driving down
the road.
unknown (07:45):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (07:45):
What's meaningful in life?
SPEAKER_01 (07:47):
Expression, sort of the theme of it.
In a Lord of the Rings Easteregg, I hid in there.
SPEAKER_03 (07:52):
And who discovered it?
SPEAKER_01 (07:54):
My brother.
SPEAKER_03 (07:55):
Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (07:56):
He's the only one, I think, in the whole place.
I had to I really thought it Ithought it was on the nose.
Um top of like token lore, butuh only my nerd brother picked
it up.
SPEAKER_03 (08:06):
Tell tell everyone.
SPEAKER_01 (08:07):
What's that?
SPEAKER_03 (08:08):
Tell everyone what it was.
SPEAKER_01 (08:09):
I'll read it.
SPEAKER_03 (08:09):
Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01 (08:10):
It's a call to eight tease, honey.
You know, we're in the first uhtrying to see what we are.
You can't get that's the firstnine minutes.
You gotta get them around for atleast like 40 more minutes.
SPEAKER_05 (08:20):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (08:21):
New music.
I couldn't find the oldsoundboard.
It's either this one or thisone.
That's the one I used the otherday with with Bella.
Which one?
SPEAKER_03 (08:37):
I like this one.
SPEAKER_01 (08:38):
It felt it feels game show cheesy.
If I ever want to like scat orfreestyle rap, that's a little
easier for me to allow me to.
I mean, that gives me 30, 40seconds in the future to go off
on that riff if I'm feeling it.
SPEAKER_03 (08:58):
You know, if that music were playing on the dance
floor at the wedding, you knowwhich couple would have gotten
down on it.
SPEAKER_01 (09:04):
Taylor and Leah.
SPEAKER_03 (09:06):
They were amazing to watch.
SPEAKER_01 (09:08):
I think they were so our daughter Taylor, her
girlfriend Leah.
I would actually go so far as Iwould hire them out as an
icebreaker at any eventanywhere.
They were dancing.
You know what they did?
They did they dance as if no onewas watching.
SPEAKER_03 (09:20):
Yes.
Except there were many peoplethere were 99 people watching.
SPEAKER_01 (09:25):
Isn't that the same?
SPEAKER_03 (09:26):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (09:26):
It's like some old country thing.
So okay, here we go.
Let's officially get to thefirst question.
Something like that.
It'll be I'll start somethinglike that.
It'll be when we get down to it.
All right, babe.
Get me.
SPEAKER_03 (09:44):
Okay.
This is from a new box calledThe and the Long Term Couples
Edition.
SPEAKER_00 (09:52):
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (09:53):
The Skin It's from the Skin Deep Company is what
it's called.
Okay.
What's the most unexpected thingabout being with me?
SPEAKER_01 (10:08):
Past tense, current tense, I guess it's everything,
right?
SPEAKER_03 (10:11):
Yeah.
Or choose what you want to focuson.
SPEAKER_01 (10:16):
I think the I'll try to wrap this all the way
backwards.
I think the most unexpectedthing about being with you, as
opposed to when I first met you,was when I first met you, I'm
thinking of our firstconversation at Essex Junction
over in San Jose on my 20th,going into my 21st birthday.
You were still 20.
And times very fleeting at thatpoint.
(10:37):
Definitely was attracted.
I think we talked about more ofour current life at that point.
You had just been a nanny.
Um, I was getting ready to takeoff for Hawaii and life
conversations like that,college, things like that.
I mean, not not anythingparticularly heavier.
And then you write letters alittle bit and you get some
photos, but you're still at thatpoint.
(10:58):
We're not in love at that point.
We're not really talking, we'restill kind of in that uh phase
of where I I you're presentingyourself in a certain way,
right?
You're you're still kind of likeuh dating each other in letters.
We were doing it.
Yes.
And so there was a definitelywas attracted, thought you were
funny, but I still hadn't beenkind of unlocked to, you know,
(11:19):
the way you think about theworld and things like that.
So I guess the most surprisingthing is we got to know each
other more was that you weremuch more of a deep thinker
about you were very differentthe way we see the universe, but
you're very much a student ofthe world and psychology and
people and things like that.
(11:39):
And mostly just you have likethis kind of I wouldn't call it
a wanderlust so much, but it'ssomewhere along that line of
like wanting to know more, toaccumulate more knowledge, to
always be learning.
And I think it's manifestsitself in different ways.
Like early on, I think you werestill very unconfident, and you
kind of were still in the freshburn of not doing well in
college, finding your path, butyou would dive into whatever was
(12:02):
in front of you right then.
So as we were first getting toknow each other, it would be
either getting a certificationor it was a diet, or it was
whatever you were doing at workwas uh kind of you but I think
that would be my the mostsurprising thing on the face of
it, and this goes all the wayback 35 years now, was there was
just uh more there than met theeye in that first meeting, it
kind of unveiled itself.
SPEAKER_03 (12:24):
Yeah, I can see that.
Part of that is in many ways wenot necessarily grew up
together, but became adultstogether.
And I think we really, as we gotto know ourselves, we got to
know each other in that new way.
SPEAKER_00 (12:42):
Right.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (12:43):
I would say for me to answer this question about
you in some ways it's similar.
You came across as this big jockfootball player.
SPEAKER_01 (12:54):
That's right.
And let's linger on that for aminute.
SPEAKER_03 (12:58):
You're now uh squishy teddy bear.
Not squishy.
That's that's I mean hugging.
SPEAKER_01 (13:05):
I never press record on this podcast.
SPEAKER_03 (13:07):
No.
SPEAKER_01 (13:08):
Yeah, so that's not gonna make it in.
Only the squishy teddy partdidn't.
All the rest did.
The jock part was perfectlyrecorded.
SPEAKER_03 (13:16):
I gotcha.
By squishy teddy bear, I meanthat you are very loving.
Oh my that's so creepy.
No, not like that.
Sorry.
Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01 (13:34):
Um expand on that a little bit.
You are clearly let's let's justrefresh the audience right now.
So I walk across the room,glowing a little bit, shredded.
Shredded like an athlete.
A jock.
SPEAKER_03 (13:47):
Frosted tips on your hair and your little mustache.
SPEAKER_01 (13:52):
Yeah, that's all correct.
SPEAKER_03 (13:53):
Did you have a gold chain?
unknown (13:56):
Probably.
SPEAKER_03 (13:57):
You might have.
SPEAKER_01 (13:58):
I was it was a gift.
I think for some reason, I thinkthe answer is yes.
I feel like I got like a for thelongest time it was in my
grandpa or my mom and dad got melike a a little pendant.
Um, not a confirmation, it waslater than that.
Was it for the Oh, you know whatthough, when I met you, it just
went in a straight gold chain.
SPEAKER_03 (14:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:15):
Yeah, like uh Charles and I were going up and
clubbing in Oakland at thatpoint, and it was the button
shirt with the gold chainoutside of it.
SPEAKER_03 (14:23):
Yep, that's it.
SPEAKER_01 (14:24):
I have a picture of that from Rome.
All right, so let's go ahead andI'll just refresh for the fourth
time right now.
I'm floating towards you.
Shredded.
SPEAKER_03 (14:31):
With all your muscles.
SPEAKER_01 (14:32):
That's right.
This is not true, by the way.
SPEAKER_03 (14:35):
You were very muscly though.
SPEAKER_01 (14:36):
Well, it's plain, it was just the end of the football
career.
So it was more muscly, but notlike and unfortunately I never
could get to that point where Iwas uh chanting Tatum.
SPEAKER_03 (14:44):
I don't think it's it's hard to nobody can do that.
That's like unrealistic.
SPEAKER_01 (14:49):
All right, sorry, I'm gonna really interrupt I'm
interrupting your question.
Go ahead.
SPEAKER_03 (14:52):
Yeah, so I would say that, you know, even early on in
our marriage, you were a lotmore I don't know what the word
is.
Gender stereotypical, maybe.
SPEAKER_01 (15:03):
Yeah, that's fair.
Yeah.
That's very fair.
SPEAKER_03 (15:05):
Yeah.
And over time, um, you know,again, seeing the world, having
experiences, living with aperson, um having a daughter.
Having two daughters.
SPEAKER_01 (15:18):
The daughter's so fast though.
SPEAKER_03 (15:20):
Yeah, you're right.
It was I I mean, you really havechanged in in how you see the
world, I think.
SPEAKER_01 (15:27):
Yeah, I don't think it was I I honestly to be honest
about that.
I don't think if that particularcategory, staying on your
question, is I don't think I sawthe world, nor was I going to
much.
I was definitely in that worldwhere I wanted to elevate.
I had a high respect for women.
Uh, you know, for whateverreason, I was like, you know,
female-led bands and authors andwhatever it was.
I was drawn to the power offemales, but I definitely was
(15:50):
still on the other side, likeyou said.
And it wasn't so much meetingyou that started having me
become this flag carrying what,you know, but Taylor being born,
it was very much a the a moment,a tipping point of like, I need
to advocate for her.
I need to, you know, my mom evensays sometimes, you know, they
they were raised, they could beanything you want.
(16:11):
It's just not all the way true.
SPEAKER_05 (16:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (16:13):
It's not all the way true.
You like to think that becauseyou want to be the strong woman.
Your mom's the same way where Ithink they did the best they
could at the age they were inthe 70s, let's say.
So they have that sort of like Iam woman kind of image of
themselves.
Yeah.
But you look back on it, andit's no shade.
Um, it was the evolving times ofit.
But in 1992, a daughter comesout, and the mood in the house
(16:37):
is this, but it's a daughter,and you start thinking about
your whole life with them.
And I did, I think that was theday I became sort of like a
feminist, yeah, you know, in alot of ways.
And I I think in a lot I wastrying to find a path out so
that Taylor could have um, youknow, truly almost what my mom
says sometimes, but I wanted herto have the confidence and the,
(16:57):
you know, feeling of equity inthe world.
And I didn't know how I wasgoing to do at that point
because we were 22 or whatever.
But I think it did it did changeme.
And then, you know.
SPEAKER_03 (17:07):
Yeah, definitely.
SPEAKER_01 (17:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (17:08):
I would say even when we landed on a name for
her, that was the start of it.
I remember explaining that Iwanted her to have a name, and
this is very dated because it'snot really how it's done now.
But if somebody were to look ather resume and see Taylor Upton
not even know if she was male orfemale, so that wouldn't be a
(17:31):
little bit more than that.
SPEAKER_01 (17:32):
We talked about that a little bit.
I think we talked about thatwith other than Ainsley, both of
our first kids.
And then Ainsley, we just wentoff the rails.
SPEAKER_05 (17:39):
Totally.
SPEAKER_01 (17:39):
You know, Bailey and Taylor, I think we decided we
wanted to be gender-neutral,find their way.
And um, it's kind of funny in away when I think about it,
because by doing thatgender-neutral thing, this I've
never thought of this.
SPEAKER_05 (17:53):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (17:53):
Taylor, in a lot of ways, we gave her a general
neutral name as a female, andher dynamics and her personality
as far as the way she drove wasmore male.
SPEAKER_05 (18:02):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (18:03):
In in a weird way.
And and I'm just saying, becausethere's this playing ground.
Bailey, we gave a genderalneutral name, but as a boy, his
sensitivities, his golden heart,all the things that make him so
amazing, what he is.
I think if you were blindtesting it on a page of paper,
he would there's more femininequalities that would come out on
a piece of paper.
And I think I would pass, Ithink I would have that same
test now.
If you absolutely if you hadthat kind of board, and I think
(18:25):
Bailey in a lot of ways, youknow, I don't even know where
I'm going with that, but it'sinteresting to me that we gave
two kids gender-neutral namesand one was a girl, and she
drifted towards more what wouldbe stereotypical male kind of
personality traits in heryounger age.
That's where I'm just talkinglike the big category.
SPEAKER_03 (18:42):
Yeah, just what where her interests were.
SPEAKER_01 (18:45):
Toughness and sort of like competitiveness, sports,
all that stuff.
It's just if you did if you wenton a piece of paper, you'd be
like, that's probably a dude.
Like by a little bit, just onand I don't even know the test
that it would be.
And on Bailey, ever day one, hewas the kindest that was sweet.
Nao machismo.
No, none of that came through.
It wasn't until like he was lateteens, early twenties where he
(19:07):
kind of started to find thatedge.
Like he found like more thatkind of dude edge with his
friends and things like that.
But in the midst of it, and hekind of balances out with Kenzie
now in his 20s and 30s, he sortof drifts back to being that
kind of thoughtful, kind soulkind of thing.
So it's interesting.
SPEAKER_03 (19:22):
It is interesting.
I think we also, just by thenature of the way we thought
what was important in raising akid, is we were really
particular about not giving themgender-specific toys or
gender-specific conversationswith them.
We just let them do what theywanted to do and let them lead
(19:42):
what was important.
SPEAKER_01 (19:43):
Right.
Our biases came through and wecouldn't even nail them down,
but you can't get away from it.
But overall, um, as I see themin the world, see them at these
weddings now and and see whotheir their partners are.
Um, you know, we it's stillunfinished business, but overall
it's like, all right, you know.
Let's see what time I think.
We're I think we actually haveto but while I'm p pulling up
our our real life sponsors, weactually have some issues now
(20:06):
because we joked around with it,uh, but now we have some.
But it's like I think we triedin our last episodes to expand
on it's not you and I talking toeach other.
Yeah.
But that question, why would itbe a good one in a high school
relationship, first dates,things like that?
I have my answer.
Why do you think that would be afundamental question to ask?
SPEAKER_03 (20:27):
I think it's an opportunity to consider how
people change over time and notto be afraid of change because
change can be good.
I mean, change is is a part oflife.
What would you say?
SPEAKER_01 (20:40):
I think the uh my answer is I think what I'm
thinking on that is I need tohear what the question was
again.
SPEAKER_03 (20:48):
What's the most unexpected thing about being
within Okay, I got it.
SPEAKER_01 (20:52):
I think it's a touchstone.
I think it's a I think it'd benot a bad question.
I because that's one is that Ithink we're 35 years together,
34 years.
No, uh Phil got me on that one.
34 years together and 34 yearsmarried.
We had that little joke at thewedding.
But I think that's the firsttime that's been phrased in that
exact time frame.
(21:13):
But let's say that was somethingyou remembered to kind of touch
on every once in a while, youmight not drift that far apart.
Like if I think about friendsthat are going through divorces
or friends that have beendivorced, where let's say they
get divorced at eight years orten years or eleven years.
What if over a date at three,four, let's say it let's say you
got divorced at eight years?
What if at five years on ananniversary or a date when
things were starting to get alittle gnarly and kind of get a
(21:35):
little drift and you just kindof put the card across and says,
What attracted you to me in thefirst place?
Or what surprised me?
Yeah.
Or what surprised you about mein the first place?
And maybe it's this littleglimmer of something that you
hadn't talked about in six orseven years.
And I think you drift apartbecause you're not going to
compliment each other.
You're not going to necessarilythrow that out.
I mean, here we are 34 years.
We're not just droppingcompliments on each other every
(21:56):
day.
SPEAKER_03 (21:57):
No, we don't.
SPEAKER_01 (21:58):
Not like that.
We give encouragement.
SPEAKER_03 (22:00):
We do.
SPEAKER_01 (22:01):
But not in that form.
SPEAKER_03 (22:02):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (22:02):
Not in that form, like, remember, it's one of the
things I told you.
I love about you.
That's you know, it's the thingthat kind of I think that's
where it lands on me is um.
Did you hear that?
unknown (22:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (22:15):
I just think I hit it, but it's like a trombone.
SPEAKER_03 (22:17):
Oh, that's weird.
SPEAKER_01 (22:19):
I'm fine out if I kind of patting myself on the
head right now because I feellike it might come through the
microphone.
That was it.
It's this, it's my headphone.
SPEAKER_03 (22:26):
Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01 (22:27):
Can you hear that?
No.
Oh, it's in my brain.
It's not good radio orpodcasting at all.
Um yeah, I think that ifexpanding on that question, I
think that's where it could behelpful to any relationship.
Touchstone.
SPEAKER_03 (22:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (22:42):
Don't get too far away from it.
So we have real sponsors now.
And the big thing that's changedover the last seven months since
we podcasted, other than usdisappointing Venezuela, which
now Stacey's apologized directlyto them.
I don't know if you even askedme what that was.
The second one.
It was a direct apology from youto the entire country of
(23:03):
Venezuela.
SPEAKER_03 (23:04):
And what did you say?
SPEAKER_01 (23:05):
Brian is great.
unknown (23:06):
Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01 (23:07):
But that that was it's probably not even it's it's
gonna play well down there, thisroom.
Not so funny now, but it's umthat's that was your apology to
an entire country.
It's probably gonna work its wayin the title of this episode.
SPEAKER_03 (23:20):
Oh sheesh, of course it is.
SPEAKER_01 (23:22):
But we have gotten real life changes in vibes, um,
TV networks out there, magazinesstill doing the magazine, doing
monthly retainers.
Um, podcast management's gottento be a thing.
But in the midst of all this,these monthly retainers and the
expansion of these relationshipsthat's created real sponsors for
our podcast and three or four ofour other podcasts we manage.
(23:43):
So we're gonna rotate themthrough.
It could be Metro, uh Keontes,uh Golden State Warriors are
coming up, uh Lolly, Parks andRec.
I'll forget one, but we'llrotate them through.
And I think what we can do onthese is one, it's gonna force
us to podcast more.
Because as much as we shit onbroken tiles, you and I'll just
say that.
(24:03):
I'll beat it out.
I'll put a duck in it orsomething.
Hold on.
I got this new board, it's sogreat.
Why don't I even have it here?
I feel like there should be likea little duck or something.
Crickets.
That's the saddest thing.
The um, but we'll do Keontisfirst.
You know, and Keontis is asponsor, and they're with us
now.
And I think we're gonna kind ofdo a little, I'm gonna try to do
a little bit of uh productionhere.
(24:25):
Let's see if we can do this.
Oh, we know that.
Jack's back at Keontis everyweekend.
Crew's been putting in thehours, fine-tuning every detail
to bring their version ofNightmare Before Christmas to
life.
It's weird, it's wonderful, it'spure Santa Cruz.
Heart, humor, and a little TimBurton.
Pizza, pasta, and the best vibesdowntown at Keonti's, 1100
(24:47):
Pacific Avenue, Santa Cruz,details at Keonti's.com.
SPEAKER_03 (24:52):
Nice.
SPEAKER_01 (24:53):
It was fun.
I went down there last weekendand filmed the crew, I guess two
weeks ago, before we left, butfilmed the crew practicing their
dance.
It's spectacular.
It's so much work they put intoit.
All everybody's dressed up.
Jack Skeleton's there.
Um, you know, all the charactersfrom Nightmare Before Christmas,
the meaningful ones, and they dotheir interpretation of that.
And I think throwing dough.
(25:13):
Throwing dough, dancing,choreographed, amazing for the
kids.
The lights are down.
SPEAKER_03 (25:18):
So fun.
SPEAKER_01 (25:18):
It's an incredible show.
We should go down there andcheck it out.
SPEAKER_05 (25:20):
Oh, we should go tomorrow night.
SPEAKER_01 (25:22):
Yeah, I think they do it on the hour.
I should be more aware of this.
But check Keontis.com.
It's Friday and Saturdays.
I feel like they do two or threeshows a night, like seven,
eight, and nine, I feel like.
And they and it's really a funthing downtown.
It's kind of an iconic thing inSanta Cruz because whether you
know it or not, you might becoming out of a Catalyst concert
or cruising around, and then yousee all these lights go off in
(25:43):
this restaurant, and sometimesit's just disco, right?
Sometimes it's them doing theirthing.
This will be much moretheatrical.
But they put all the hard work,you know, Kelly and Tracy down
there and Rochelle, they put somuch work into this, the
choreography, the music, it'sspectacular.
So that's Keonties, one of oursponsors, and it's Keontes.com,
and check them out.
SPEAKER_03 (26:02):
Check it out.
It's it's really a blast.
SPEAKER_01 (26:06):
Let's see if I could get us back here.
unknown (26:10):
Oops.
SPEAKER_01 (26:12):
Question two, babe.
SPEAKER_03 (26:14):
You ready?
SPEAKER_01 (26:15):
What do you feel like having a real life sponsor?
Never forget Branham.
Pan Am.
SPEAKER_03 (26:24):
Yeah, I was gonna say it wasn't Branham.
SPEAKER_01 (26:25):
It was Branham, the last two episodes.
Oh, yeah.
Remember Pan Am fired us becausewe took a year off because of
your dizziness.
And by Pan Am.
SPEAKER_03 (26:31):
Okay, here we go.
This is a fill in the blank.
SPEAKER_00 (26:37):
Okay, wait for it.
I want you to tell me when youcan ask the question.
You ready?
SPEAKER_03 (26:41):
I'm ready.
SPEAKER_00 (26:42):
Go ahead.
SPEAKER_03 (26:43):
I love you the most when goodness.
My voice is high enough already.
SPEAKER_01 (26:54):
Can you say the question one more time?
SPEAKER_03 (26:57):
Fill in the plate.
SPEAKER_04 (26:58):
I love you most.
SPEAKER_01 (27:04):
I love you most when.
SPEAKER_03 (27:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (27:06):
You could answer first because I went first last
time.
SPEAKER_03 (27:08):
Oh gosh, I I'm not ready.
I love you most when.
I love you most.
Well, two things come to mind.
One, our audience has heard manytimes.
I love you most when you bringme coffee in the morning,
because it's so easy to do.
You can't use that one.
(27:28):
I know.
Um I love you.
SPEAKER_01 (27:33):
Oh, it shouldn't be this hard.
SPEAKER_03 (27:36):
Well, there's lots of things.
There's more than one.
SPEAKER_01 (27:39):
That's pretty smooth.
SPEAKER_03 (27:40):
So I think the one that comes to the top is when we
are able to snuggle together,like when you're in a really
happy, snuggly mood.
It doesn't happen very often.
SPEAKER_01 (27:53):
It used to happen all the time.
At one point we're on a recordpace for cuddles, but I think it
doesn't happen a lot the lastcouple years with maybe it's
vibes, maybe it's kind of beingstretched, maybe it's bandwidth.
SPEAKER_05 (28:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (28:03):
I think I've been going through a period of
well-documented spinning um, youknow, to the point of even for
the first time taking somethingfor it, and which has been good
and awkward, you know, as far asI think whatever inhibitor I'm
on, but it's different.
It's I think talking to somebodyabout it today, it's easier for
me to talk about it than kind ofto like hope it works out
(28:25):
because you find out how manypeople are trying to get through
it.
But it's I took it to get rid ofthe constant spinning in my
head, not necessarily thisdepression, but by taking it, I
felt more towards depression andnothingness.
But I do still think like it'seasier to work back from that
than spinning all the time.
SPEAKER_03 (28:42):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (28:42):
That's what we're doing.
SPEAKER_03 (28:44):
You can't think when you're spinning all the time.
You can't get anything straight.
SPEAKER_01 (28:48):
But I think you've suffered the consequences of of
that the last two and a halfyears in a lot of ways.
If I can't, you know, turn itoff, it's fitful.
SPEAKER_03 (28:58):
Yeah.
I just I feel like it's um theseason, you know, this isn't
gonna last forever.
This is not how you've alwaysbeen.
This is just right now and it'stemporary.
SPEAKER_01 (29:10):
Yeah, and it's the sleep that I think the the lack
of sleep, which was always mysuperpower.
SPEAKER_05 (29:17):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (29:17):
Through anything we've gone through, I was always
able to kind of knock out eight,nine hours of sleep and uh turn
it off and then wake up and atleast have that banked.
But by losing the sleep, I thinkthat kind of caused me to have
to kind of reach out and get alittle bit of help with that.
But it's it's a process rightnow, but I do feel um a little
more clear headed.
Um I just want it to be inlonger stretches now, and
(29:38):
that'll bring the cuddling back.
SPEAKER_03 (29:42):
That'd be nice.
So the question was uh fill inthe blank.
SPEAKER_01 (29:46):
I love you most when um I think I well when even as
far as we go on this show, Iwon't say it on air.
I love you most when it's almoston tune with what I just said
there.
Is one.
when you have the ability tohave the patience to pull me out
of that.
(30:06):
I think that's when, you know,those moments because I think in
other relationships or otherlives, like I don't know if
sometimes the patience would bethere, but I think when it's all
said and done, you know, it'sreally nice to kind of like be
able to maybe bottom out alittle bit.
(30:27):
Be I guess I'm not the mostvulnerable person, but I do kind
of flame out.
You know, as far as like energy,perspective, time.
Is all I'm looking for isperspective, but it can go away
pretty quick sometimes.
And I think, you know, it's nicewhen you sort of have that
something to hold on to a littlebit.
Feels like that.
SPEAKER_03 (30:48):
We've never really talked about that before.
SPEAKER_01 (30:51):
That's what the show's all about, baby.
SPEAKER_00 (30:54):
Alright, we're gonna do a review.
SPEAKER_03 (30:57):
Oh, okay.
That's unexpected.
SPEAKER_00 (31:00):
You ready for this?
SPEAKER_03 (31:01):
I'm ready.
SPEAKER_00 (31:03):
Okay, you know I was gonna see how long it takes you
to dial in.
What show is it?
SPEAKER_03 (31:16):
K-pop demon hunters?
SPEAKER_00 (31:17):
Nope.
SPEAKER_03 (31:18):
Oh I don't know then.
SPEAKER_01 (31:34):
That is Park in the bin singing the title track from
Castaway Diva.
Dream Us.
Tell them what's been going onwith this last year.
SPEAKER_03 (31:45):
Oh we have done a deep dive into K-pop drama not
drama.
Rom comps.
SPEAKER_01 (31:54):
Rom comps.
SPEAKER_03 (31:55):
Oh my gosh, they're just delicious.
SPEAKER_01 (31:57):
Castaway Diva is a K drama about Sei Moka, an
aspiring singer who was strandedon a deserted island for 15
years after escaping an abusivefather.
Upon her rescue she isdetermined to fulfill her dream
of becoming a singer, finds heridol, Yoon Ranju, and be and
works to become a successfuldiva with the help of her
childhood friend Kiho, who shewas separated from during her
(32:18):
escape.
The series blends a tale ofperseverance with the underlying
themes of childhood trauma andthe long lasting effects of
abuse.
SPEAKER_03 (32:25):
And it's so sweet.
SPEAKER_01 (32:27):
Oh, all these K traumas are 17 episodes.
And they're about an hour and 20minutes each good binging.
Limited stakes euphorichappiness.
Yeah exactly frozen kisses atthe end of episodes with bubbles
(32:49):
floating up it's so adorable.
I just love them.
And it's you know if anything inthe muck of all the kind of like
some of the darkness and now I'mtalking politically not just
like the things we were justtalking about but the
divisiveness the world we'reliving in it's been an awfully
nice break.
Now I've been on Korean cinemafor a long time 15 years maybe
(33:11):
but more along the lines of thedrama andor revenge shows that
they do very well Parasite isthe penultimate of a director
that does it and that's like thefirst I think entry three or
four years ago that Americareally started paying attention
and it elevated Korean cinema inAmerica Parasite winning.
But I was on that thing fromlike you know old boy and stuff
(33:31):
like that all the way back.
It's I think it was you weregone on a trip and I watched a
uh revenge series and then itjust recommended that to me for
two years on Netflix and I saidyes to every single one.
SPEAKER_03 (33:42):
And I was not interested because they're
pretty bloody and they're prettyviolent.
Yeah I don't I don't enjoy thattoo well.
SPEAKER_01 (33:49):
What's your rating of it?
SPEAKER_03 (33:51):
Oh my gosh.
What's our scale again?
SPEAKER_01 (33:54):
It's by tenths of a point one to ten a ten.
A what?
A ten.
SPEAKER_03 (34:02):
I couldn't get enough of it.
SPEAKER_01 (34:04):
People are gonna watch this now.
SPEAKER_03 (34:06):
But you give it a ten I'm giving it a ten too well
you have to be okay with readingsubtitles.
SPEAKER_01 (34:14):
But it slows you down.
SPEAKER_03 (34:15):
But it slows you down.
It makes you not look at yourphone.
I think that's another reasonwhy I really am enjoying these K
dramas because you have to payattention and then you lose
yourself and you actually relax.
SPEAKER_01 (34:27):
All of our best shows are subtitled.
SPEAKER_03 (34:29):
All of them.
SPEAKER_01 (34:30):
Is it Karme?
Yeah um on Apple and um I feellike there's another there's so
many floating any one of ourNorwegian um murder mysteries
and things like that.
I I'm obsessed with um thesubtitles you have to stop you
have to stop.
It's very hard to you knowespecially with the compelling
(34:50):
ones that have a lot of twistsand turns yeah maybe not
castaway diva or extraordinaryattorney woo or hometown cha cha
cha.
SPEAKER_03 (34:58):
I can keep going we got all Extraordinary Attorney
Woo that might even be betterthan Castaway Diva.
SPEAKER_01 (35:02):
I don't know it's a it's a it's a 50-50 for me
because Castaway Diva was soridiculously just bubbly and
happy and crazy and this oh andthen we watched hometown cha cha
cha.
SPEAKER_03 (35:14):
And that's also great.
SPEAKER_00 (35:16):
Mm-hmm are we on three yeah we're doing pretty
good though I don't even knowwhat time frame we're on oh
we're almost at 40 minutes we'redoing our normal show I'm ready
for paper.
SPEAKER_03 (35:30):
Okay.
We have to think with this onewe both do.
Choose five words to describe myfuture that I don't dare
imagine.
SPEAKER_01 (35:41):
Whoa that's a huge question.
SPEAKER_03 (35:43):
I know it's good for number three.
SPEAKER_01 (35:45):
It is good for number three if I'm gonna play
some bumper music to um get usthrough or even another I'll
play another um commercial fromour other sponsor real quick to
get us through here and read thequestion one more time so I know
it's choose five words todescribe the I wonder if you
have to describe my future thatI don't dare Bennett surf and
(36:07):
showstopper Ethel Merman alwaysfly Branna Ethel Merman.
Thanks for flying Branna folkswhen you got it flaunted always
ask your travel each times havechanged babe they like our girls
(36:28):
that is a lot funny maybe we goback and forth instead of doing
five in a row we'll try to rockout five doing it back and forth
um that I can't imagine describemy future that I don't dare
imagine and it's words?
Yep five words painting relaxedyes give me that I can't imagine
(36:54):
that I know can you imaginepainting all day no I would love
it.
Because you love painting butthat part of it I'll I'll use
this word so you know where I'mgoing with it um because since
it's one word I'll stay in thechallenge stability Wow I love
it yeah that's my second oneactive yeah I can I can see that
(37:18):
and I can see it beingunimaginable to me right now.
So I'm on number three for youthat you can't imagine.
Close this is fun what do youthink I mean by that?
I don't know think about it alittle bit close a future like
close to retirement?
Nope.
SPEAKER_03 (37:36):
Oh I'm way off to the kids.
Oh I love that.
SPEAKER_01 (37:40):
It's hard to imagine yeah you know I mean I use that
because we're using the singularwords but that that's the word I
have to use to kind of get tothe conversation but gotcha you
know I think you have this uhfaraway dream of being close to
the kids logistically for allthe things going on and the more
life goes on it seems like thatbecomes more and more improbable
in a lot of ways.
We'll work it out but it's it'sit would be an unimaginable life
(38:04):
where we would just you would beclose to the kids right now.
Maybe right now.
Yeah I'm talking not as humanslogistically logistically in um
I want to say I can't figure outa word to express what I'm
trying to convey well you haveto remember you can you can do
(38:26):
like this could be like thatgame we play where um you're
doing like charades or somethingwhere maybe you do like I just
did you come up with the wordand I try to guess what you're
getting at.
Fluid fluid fluid are youtalking about motion?
No lubricated?
(38:48):
Oh then we're back to stability.
Yeah because that's kind of whatI meant with stability.
We didn't expand on that I wastalking financial stability in
retirement.
I was going way down the roadwith it.
Yeah this I should have asimilar yeah I was thinking
about this this question in thein the terms of like I can't
imagine that could be tomorrowbut I I for some reason I framed
this all into retirement forsome reason I put I put most of
(39:10):
this out there so I was I waswrong oh fluid with money yeah
and I think that's the wholegoal is we meet with our you
know shout out James Blizzak,America Prize Financial, he's
amazing and so is Lisa Rosano.
Yeah they're doing a great joband they've got us in a good
spot but it still is the worldwe live in is so um volatile.
It is you know with with it's upand down and you kind of are
(39:30):
always looking at is it going tobe here is it going to be there
and the the monkey in the middleis this fixed number no matter
how well you do it's this fixednumber and where does that fixed
number fit is is that part ofit.
So fluid would be really nice.
Yeah.
All right am I down to the fifthone?
SPEAKER_03 (39:44):
Uh I think you're down to four.
SPEAKER_01 (39:45):
I can't be I I can't rewind this tape right now I did
I did you did stable orstability.
Painting painting and close alot I am kind of digging it.
And so this is only four?
SPEAKER_03 (40:04):
Yeah this is number four.
SPEAKER_01 (40:06):
Good lord a word that's your future that you
can't imagine you don't dare toimagine you don't dare to
imagine oh don't dare to imagineI would put for you singularity
Wow I had the first three wrongthis one I'll kind of get I'll
(40:29):
go the last two and do I think II I didn't mess it up it's still
good content.
I think you know talk about us Ithink I was going down the wrong
not dare to imagine because youwould dare to imagine being
close to the kids but so I'llfix it with these last two
singularity you merging andliving forever or you know
merging with our technology.
SPEAKER_03 (40:47):
Dare to imagine for you grandfather and I know you
dare to imagine that but I'm Ican't think of a word to say
like really involved every daywith your grandkids.
SPEAKER_01 (41:03):
So dare to imagine being a grandfather like to the
expand on that a little like whywouldn't I dare to imagine that?
SPEAKER_03 (41:12):
Well like I just said I I can't come up with a
word to encapsulate like handson grandfather regularly.
SPEAKER_01 (41:21):
Right let me think the last one for you a world you
can't dare to imagine the wordI'm thinking of is that you
couldn't dare to imagine in afuture would be I know the word
and I can't think of it rightnow.
It's like this word about it'sopposite of where we are united.
SPEAKER_03 (41:42):
Okay tell me more a world united oh can you would
you dare to wait what's thequestion again describe oh
choose five words to describe myfuture that I don't dare imagine
this thing I think we butcheredthis your future that you
(42:04):
wouldn't dare to imagine youwould dare to imagine the world
getting along I'm gonna say aword for you okay mogul but I
would dare to say that you woulddare to dream that you would be
a media mogul?
SPEAKER_01 (42:19):
Because I know I could sell it if I if for some
reason I got the word mediamogul attached to vibes that
means that somebody would comeand buy it um but that's that's
a fair answer.
I don't think I would ever godown the the road daring to
think that in that world.
SPEAKER_03 (42:38):
There's not too many words that you would dare to
think I mean I guess the word adream you wouldn't dare describe
my future that I don't dareimagine.
Like we don't often imaginesomething bigger than what we
think is doable.
SPEAKER_01 (42:56):
That's how I'm thinking about it Oh yeah I
guess I could say like princessor something.
I don't you could it seems likeit gets in that category that
the daring to imagine somethingwould fall in that category of
um maybe it's more along thelines of um I don't we we don't
dare we're our own worst ccritics, right?
SPEAKER_03 (43:19):
Like typically people don't imagine they're
gonna do something reallyfabulous because we set limits
on ourselves.
But I know you well enough toreally believe in your ability
to be a media mogul.
Oh I see that's that's how I'mthinking of it.
(43:39):
I don't know if that makes senseto you.
SPEAKER_01 (43:41):
Yeah that you wouldn't dare to imagine I think
it's like breaking through thatseal of of what you would think.
SPEAKER_03 (43:48):
What you feel like you can achieve which you know
we do put a lot of limits onourselves.
And it's nice to hear whensomebody thinks that you can
accomplish so much more maybethat's why this question Yeah
because then my the first one ofthe first ones I came up with
was like um sailing you wouldclearly dare to imagine that no
(44:09):
I wouldn't well you do you wantto get back on a paddleboard you
want to s get on a boat.
SPEAKER_01 (44:13):
And so that's where I get confused by this question
is like it's like you wouldn'tdare to imagine sailing.
SPEAKER_03 (44:18):
I w I wouldn't I I mean when I think about uh going
on a paddleboard that's a bigachievement I might go on the
Chardonnay the the little cruiseI guess that is a sailboat but I
wouldn't be sailing that I'd beon a ride Oh yeah you know what
I'm saying?
Yeah and that's for an two hoursat the most yeah so sailing.
SPEAKER_01 (44:40):
Yeah that's that's my fifth one I'm done with this
God that is the hardest one weever did I don't even it was
hard.
I don't know if I can find a wayout of that one.
That's gonna be some of thecraftiest edits of all time if
we can work that out.
Believe me if you're listeningto this right now there's a
chance that at the beginning ofthat question which said
describe five things this couldhave been six days we took to
(45:03):
answer that.
SPEAKER_03 (45:04):
You won't know.
I think we left the mics wentout to dinner walked the dog
went to Keanti's watched themthrow dough and dance Jack's
back babe this was great.
SPEAKER_01 (45:17):
I think we got it all in sponsored by Santa Cruz
Vibes Podcast Management.
SPEAKER_03 (45:20):
We'll get into it more do we have the family music
guessing game?
Do you have that cued up or no?
SPEAKER_01 (45:25):
Oh my god you're gonna have to kill some time
here.
SPEAKER_03 (45:27):
Oh jees how can you talk about um I don't know what
can I talk about riff onsomething.
I am not a riffer.
I am somebody who likes to havethings planned let me pull it up
hold on one second I can askanother question.
I just pulled it from anotherdeck.
Do that it's gonna take a bitokay what's one thing you would
(45:48):
like to see happen in your lifethis year so between now and
October of 2026 what do you wantto see happen?
SPEAKER_01 (45:58):
You get answer first because I'm looking for a
playlist I would like to see inmy life this year.
SPEAKER_03 (46:10):
I want to see Ainsley on stage in New York.
Hmm you might get New Jerseyokay New Jersey will work.
It's close to New York.
I can't find it that's been solong since we podcasted okay
well we will just let it go.
SPEAKER_01 (46:27):
This thing really ended with a this really petered
out at the end this podcast Ithink we don't have our legs
underneath us we might we mightdrop a few follows after this
one um I hope not no we'll do iton the more regular basis yeah
we'll get that pulled up foundagain somewhere if we podcast
every couple weeks that'll beeasy to find yeah love you babe
love you bye
This is the Brooklyn Piles Pop and Hunt.
SPEAKER_00 (00:08):
Babe.
SPEAKER_03 (00:09):
Hi, honey.
It's been a while since we'vedone that.
SPEAKER_01 (00:12):
I was hoping you weren't gonna say that.
Hi.
I think we need to be kinder toourselves.
SPEAKER_03 (00:17):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (00:18):
I think we start every episode with it's been a
while, or is that just astatement of fact?
SPEAKER_03 (00:24):
It's a fact.
SPEAKER_01 (00:26):
We uh don't treat our audience with the due
respect.
It leads me to um just aquestion I want to ask you right
out of the gate.
Okay, and I want you to answerit, okay?
SPEAKER_03 (00:36):
Okay.
Why do we respect Venezuela?
Disrespect, but not intentional.
SPEAKER_01 (00:49):
I think an apology is necessary.
To our number one fans.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
Para Stacy.
Me desculpo con todo el país.
Yo, Stacy.
Lo siento por nuestros fansnumero one.
SPEAKER_03 (01:04):
Brian es el mayor.
Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_01 (01:08):
What happened?
SPEAKER_03 (01:10):
Oh, there's Azuki bringing her toy to us.
SPEAKER_01 (01:13):
She's back in the show.
She can't take it.
Saw this one coming.
This goes back to episode two orthree where uh she didn't now
and you're doing the same thingthere.
You're playing with her.
SPEAKER_03 (01:22):
I've got helpful to ignore her.
SPEAKER_01 (01:24):
Yeah, like we went through this a long time ago.
Weddings.
SPEAKER_03 (01:28):
Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_01 (01:29):
Time.
SPEAKER_03 (01:30):
Mm-hmm.
Oh, you mean time in between?
SPEAKER_01 (01:33):
Time in between.
What else?
Seven months since we'vepodcasted.
SPEAKER_03 (01:38):
I can't believe it's been that long.
SPEAKER_01 (01:40):
Yeah.
It's I think the I guess there'sso many updates to give, and you
know, there's the why sevenmonths, and a lot of it has to
do with life more vibes thananything else.
It's not as if podcasting morethan ever.
I think we had a joke about ayear ago that it was only one or
two, and it kind of felt like Ithink the conversation was it
(02:00):
felt like it was cheating when Iwas tech, you know, um
podcasting with somebody else.
Now it's 17 different podcasts.
That many.
Yeah, when you include likeMinnesota, it's all over.
So I think what happens is youand I have the best intention,
and then I might have just donethree or four, and even though
we're set up, it's like the lastthing I feel like doing.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (02:19):
But I we love doing it when we finally get to it.
So we have to make it like adate night.
SPEAKER_01 (02:24):
And I think that's it.
It's Friday night, we're sittingat home.
I brought the gear home.
You know, I think that's helpfulin a way because I got my little
drink.
It's not even a sound effect.
SPEAKER_03 (02:35):
No.
SPEAKER_01 (02:35):
It was like a poor man's Manhattan.
A poor whiskey, bitters, cherry.
SPEAKER_03 (02:42):
Simple.
SPEAKER_01 (02:42):
Yeah, it works right now.
Although I shouldn't probably bedrinking with the medicine.
SPEAKER_03 (02:46):
No.
SPEAKER_01 (02:48):
Different podcast.
But let's not bury the lead.
We just got back from Syracuse,raised the kids back there.
And huge moment this lastweekend.
SPEAKER_03 (02:58):
Our boy got married to an amazing girl.
SPEAKER_01 (03:02):
We gathered a new Upton.
unknown (03:05):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (03:05):
Well, she's been in Upton for a while.
SPEAKER_01 (03:07):
I I don't know though.
Yeah, I mean, I guess shelegally changed her name, what,
two weeks from now?
SPEAKER_03 (03:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (03:12):
It's a bit there's a difference.
It felt and I would have I wouldagree with you that she's been
part of the family, and youknow, definitely in that
context.
But wedding invitations, the wayI spoke about her at the
wedding, it's you know, until weannounced them, like, you know,
the you know, Kenzie and BaileyUpton, and she changed her
Facebook.
There's little official thingswe do in the world right now
that make it a little moreofficial.
SPEAKER_03 (03:33):
It's true.
SPEAKER_01 (03:34):
And it felt different.
SPEAKER_03 (03:35):
It did.
It was so special.
It was the most joyful weddingI've ever experienced.
SPEAKER_01 (03:43):
And I think clearly we're biased.
Um but there was some uniqueaspects to it.
One of them they'd been datingfor eleven years.
Two, they got married lastspring here in Santa Cruz at the
courthouse, the world we livein.
She's PA there, cut their housein Turlock doing a couple years
there.
But I think you can't not passup that advantage to get the
(04:04):
benefits of being married forinsurance and things like that.
So they knew what was happening.
There were two years ago heproposed the wedding was always
October 25th in Syracuse.
SPEAKER_03 (04:12):
Not 25th.
SPEAKER_01 (04:14):
October 25th.
SPEAKER_03 (04:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (04:16):
Uh in Syracuse.
And um, I think last spring wasjust to kind of get the you
know, the insurance in order andkind of take advantage of some
of the benefits.
SPEAKER_03 (04:25):
And that was sweet, but this was epic.
SPEAKER_01 (04:27):
Yeah, what I'm saying is I think that made
this.
I think the fact that you do itin stages like that, I guess I
was finishing my thought, islike dating for 11 years,
getting married last yearlegally, and then having
essentially a party lastSaturday.
That's what it felt like.
SPEAKER_03 (04:42):
Yes.
Yeah, it was really it was somuch fun.
There was uh a greatrepresentation of all of our
family.
And at one point we had all thegrandmas on the dance floor with
the disco sticks.
SPEAKER_01 (04:58):
It was crazy.
SPEAKER_03 (04:59):
It was so cute.
SPEAKER_01 (05:01):
And even my mom, you know, and we've talked about it
a little bit, but there's um,you know, family dynamics are
family dynamics, but cutting tothe quick of it all, there was a
lot of people that hadn't seeneach other in 20 years.
And there was a lot of emotionsthat went into that week and a
lot of anticipation nerves.
And without getting to the highweeds of it, it was a huge
lesson in there, I think, andand that is, you know, it's as
(05:25):
if nothing had ever happened theminute people present themselves
to each other.
And I'm not saying that's alwaysthe case.
I know it can be multifacetedand kind of everybody's
situation is a little different,but there is a um, I think there
is a lesson that it is aboutthese relationships, it's about
being with each other.
And I think we drift apartsometimes and the chasm becomes
(05:46):
more of the actual reason andproblem that you might not have
been communicating.
SPEAKER_03 (05:53):
Yeah, I think there was so a lot of beauty in the
fact that those that wereestranged from each other for so
long without talking about itjust decided to let all that go
and start from that moment theysaw each other again.
SPEAKER_01 (06:08):
That's exactly it.
And it's nice.
And it's there's this um, youknow, we've been lucky enough
for 11 years.
I've been to enough weddings,and we've even had some in the
family where that wedding issometimes day one of this new
merging of the families.
And the fact that they've datedfor 11 years and different
events here in theirgraduations, birthday parties,
(06:29):
times back home here and there.
We've gotten to know her side ofthe family.
She's clearly been immersed inour side of the family, and I
think that made that party a lotdifferent because we were pretty
loose with the Schischlers andthat side of the family just for
because we've known them.
So a lot of the stars aligned,right?
SPEAKER_03 (06:48):
It was very comfortable.
SPEAKER_01 (06:49):
Yeah.
It was great.
What was your favorite part?
unknown (06:57):
Gosh.
SPEAKER_03 (06:58):
I keep talking about all the grandmas on the dance
floor, and I just loved that.
That might be my favorite part.
No.
My favorite part was youofficiating.
That was that really touched myheart.
SPEAKER_01 (07:12):
It was weird and fun.
It was more weird in conceptthan it was when it actually
rolled out.
And I think the fact that it wasmore on the nose, what's the
word, philosophical, or orneither of them are particularly
religious.
I think they believe they havefaith and they have
spirituality, but I don't thinkthey're particularly religious.
And that led me to kind of go upthere and just write something
that was more knowing them theway I know them.
(07:35):
It was pretty easy to uh fromour it's almost from our
conversations here that it'sjust an evolution of a lot of
the conversations we have hereon a Saturday or driving down
the road.
unknown (07:45):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (07:45):
What's meaningful in life?
SPEAKER_01 (07:47):
Expression, sort of the theme of it.
In a Lord of the Rings Easteregg, I hid in there.
SPEAKER_03 (07:52):
And who discovered it?
SPEAKER_01 (07:54):
My brother.
SPEAKER_03 (07:55):
Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (07:56):
He's the only one, I think, in the whole place.
I had to I really thought it Ithought it was on the nose.
Um top of like token lore, butuh only my nerd brother picked
it up.
SPEAKER_03 (08:06):
Tell tell everyone.
SPEAKER_01 (08:07):
What's that?
SPEAKER_03 (08:08):
Tell everyone what it was.
SPEAKER_01 (08:09):
I'll read it.
SPEAKER_03 (08:09):
Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01 (08:10):
It's a call to eight tease, honey.
You know, we're in the first uhtrying to see what we are.
You can't get that's the firstnine minutes.
You gotta get them around for atleast like 40 more minutes.
SPEAKER_05 (08:20):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (08:21):
New music.
I couldn't find the oldsoundboard.
It's either this one or thisone.
That's the one I used the otherday with with Bella.
Which one?
SPEAKER_03 (08:37):
I like this one.
SPEAKER_01 (08:38):
It felt it feels game show cheesy.
If I ever want to like scat orfreestyle rap, that's a little
easier for me to allow me to.
I mean, that gives me 30, 40seconds in the future to go off
on that riff if I'm feeling it.
SPEAKER_03 (08:58):
You know, if that music were playing on the dance
floor at the wedding, you knowwhich couple would have gotten
down on it.
SPEAKER_01 (09:04):
Taylor and Leah.
SPEAKER_03 (09:06):
They were amazing to watch.
SPEAKER_01 (09:08):
I think they were so our daughter Taylor, her
girlfriend Leah.
I would actually go so far as Iwould hire them out as an
icebreaker at any eventanywhere.
They were dancing.
You know what they did?
They did they dance as if no onewas watching.
SPEAKER_03 (09:20):
Yes.
Except there were many peoplethere were 99 people watching.
SPEAKER_01 (09:25):
Isn't that the same?
SPEAKER_03 (09:26):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (09:26):
It's like some old country thing.
So okay, here we go.
Let's officially get to thefirst question.
Something like that.
It'll be I'll start somethinglike that.
It'll be when we get down to it.
All right, babe.
Get me.
SPEAKER_03 (09:44):
Okay.
This is from a new box calledThe and the Long Term Couples
Edition.
SPEAKER_00 (09:52):
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (09:53):
The Skin It's from the Skin Deep Company is what
it's called.
Okay.
What's the most unexpected thingabout being with me?
SPEAKER_01 (10:08):
Past tense, current tense, I guess it's everything,
right?
SPEAKER_03 (10:11):
Yeah.
Or choose what you want to focuson.
SPEAKER_01 (10:16):
I think the I'll try to wrap this all the way
backwards.
I think the most unexpectedthing about being with you, as
opposed to when I first met you,was when I first met you, I'm
thinking of our firstconversation at Essex Junction
over in San Jose on my 20th,going into my 21st birthday.
You were still 20.
And times very fleeting at thatpoint.
(10:37):
Definitely was attracted.
I think we talked about more ofour current life at that point.
You had just been a nanny.
Um, I was getting ready to takeoff for Hawaii and life
conversations like that,college, things like that.
I mean, not not anythingparticularly heavier.
And then you write letters alittle bit and you get some
photos, but you're still at thatpoint.
(10:58):
We're not in love at that point.
We're not really talking, we'restill kind of in that uh phase
of where I I you're presentingyourself in a certain way,
right?
You're you're still kind of likeuh dating each other in letters.
We were doing it.
Yes.
And so there was a definitelywas attracted, thought you were
funny, but I still hadn't beenkind of unlocked to, you know,
(11:19):
the way you think about theworld and things like that.
So I guess the most surprisingthing is we got to know each
other more was that you weremuch more of a deep thinker
about you were very differentthe way we see the universe, but
you're very much a student ofthe world and psychology and
people and things like that.
(11:39):
And mostly just you have likethis kind of I wouldn't call it
a wanderlust so much, but it'ssomewhere along that line of
like wanting to know more, toaccumulate more knowledge, to
always be learning.
And I think it's manifestsitself in different ways.
Like early on, I think you werestill very unconfident, and you
kind of were still in the freshburn of not doing well in
college, finding your path, butyou would dive into whatever was
(12:02):
in front of you right then.
So as we were first getting toknow each other, it would be
either getting a certificationor it was a diet, or it was
whatever you were doing at workwas uh kind of you but I think
that would be my the mostsurprising thing on the face of
it, and this goes all the wayback 35 years now, was there was
just uh more there than met theeye in that first meeting, it
kind of unveiled itself.
SPEAKER_03 (12:24):
Yeah, I can see that.
Part of that is in many ways wenot necessarily grew up
together, but became adultstogether.
And I think we really, as we gotto know ourselves, we got to
know each other in that new way.
SPEAKER_00 (12:42):
Right.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (12:43):
I would say for me to answer this question about
you in some ways it's similar.
You came across as this big jockfootball player.
SPEAKER_01 (12:54):
That's right.
And let's linger on that for aminute.
SPEAKER_03 (12:58):
You're now uh squishy teddy bear.
Not squishy.
That's that's I mean hugging.
SPEAKER_01 (13:05):
I never press record on this podcast.
SPEAKER_03 (13:07):
No.
SPEAKER_01 (13:08):
Yeah, so that's not gonna make it in.
Only the squishy teddy partdidn't.
All the rest did.
The jock part was perfectlyrecorded.
SPEAKER_03 (13:16):
I gotcha.
By squishy teddy bear, I meanthat you are very loving.
Oh my that's so creepy.
No, not like that.
Sorry.
Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01 (13:34):
Um expand on that a little bit.
You are clearly let's let's justrefresh the audience right now.
So I walk across the room,glowing a little bit, shredded.
Shredded like an athlete.
A jock.
SPEAKER_03 (13:47):
Frosted tips on your hair and your little mustache.
SPEAKER_01 (13:52):
Yeah, that's all correct.
SPEAKER_03 (13:53):
Did you have a gold chain?
unknown (13:56):
Probably.
SPEAKER_03 (13:57):
You might have.
SPEAKER_01 (13:58):
I was it was a gift.
I think for some reason, I thinkthe answer is yes.
I feel like I got like a for thelongest time it was in my
grandpa or my mom and dad got melike a a little pendant.
Um, not a confirmation, it waslater than that.
Was it for the Oh, you know whatthough, when I met you, it just
went in a straight gold chain.
SPEAKER_03 (14:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:15):
Yeah, like uh Charles and I were going up and
clubbing in Oakland at thatpoint, and it was the button
shirt with the gold chainoutside of it.
SPEAKER_03 (14:23):
Yep, that's it.
SPEAKER_01 (14:24):
I have a picture of that from Rome.
All right, so let's go ahead andI'll just refresh for the fourth
time right now.
I'm floating towards you.
Shredded.
SPEAKER_03 (14:31):
With all your muscles.
SPEAKER_01 (14:32):
That's right.
This is not true, by the way.
SPEAKER_03 (14:35):
You were very muscly though.
SPEAKER_01 (14:36):
Well, it's plain, it was just the end of the football
career.
So it was more muscly, but notlike and unfortunately I never
could get to that point where Iwas uh chanting Tatum.
SPEAKER_03 (14:44):
I don't think it's it's hard to nobody can do that.
That's like unrealistic.
SPEAKER_01 (14:49):
All right, sorry, I'm gonna really interrupt I'm
interrupting your question.
Go ahead.
SPEAKER_03 (14:52):
Yeah, so I would say that, you know, even early on in
our marriage, you were a lotmore I don't know what the word
is.
Gender stereotypical, maybe.
SPEAKER_01 (15:03):
Yeah, that's fair.
Yeah.
That's very fair.
SPEAKER_03 (15:05):
Yeah.
And over time, um, you know,again, seeing the world, having
experiences, living with aperson, um having a daughter.
Having two daughters.
SPEAKER_01 (15:18):
The daughter's so fast though.
SPEAKER_03 (15:20):
Yeah, you're right.
It was I I mean, you really havechanged in in how you see the
world, I think.
SPEAKER_01 (15:27):
Yeah, I don't think it was I I honestly to be honest
about that.
I don't think if that particularcategory, staying on your
question, is I don't think I sawthe world, nor was I going to
much.
I was definitely in that worldwhere I wanted to elevate.
I had a high respect for women.
Uh, you know, for whateverreason, I was like, you know,
female-led bands and authors andwhatever it was.
I was drawn to the power offemales, but I definitely was
(15:50):
still on the other side, likeyou said.
And it wasn't so much meetingyou that started having me
become this flag carrying what,you know, but Taylor being born,
it was very much a the a moment,a tipping point of like, I need
to advocate for her.
I need to, you know, my mom evensays sometimes, you know, they
they were raised, they could beanything you want.
(16:11):
It's just not all the way true.
SPEAKER_05 (16:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (16:13):
It's not all the way true.
You like to think that becauseyou want to be the strong woman.
Your mom's the same way where Ithink they did the best they
could at the age they were inthe 70s, let's say.
So they have that sort of like Iam woman kind of image of
themselves.
Yeah.
But you look back on it, andit's no shade.
Um, it was the evolving times ofit.
But in 1992, a daughter comesout, and the mood in the house
(16:37):
is this, but it's a daughter,and you start thinking about
your whole life with them.
And I did, I think that was theday I became sort of like a
feminist, yeah, you know, in alot of ways.
And I I think in a lot I wastrying to find a path out so
that Taylor could have um, youknow, truly almost what my mom
says sometimes, but I wanted herto have the confidence and the,
(16:57):
you know, feeling of equity inthe world.
And I didn't know how I wasgoing to do at that point
because we were 22 or whatever.
But I think it did it did changeme.
And then, you know.
SPEAKER_03 (17:07):
Yeah, definitely.
SPEAKER_01 (17:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (17:08):
I would say even when we landed on a name for
her, that was the start of it.
I remember explaining that Iwanted her to have a name, and
this is very dated because it'snot really how it's done now.
But if somebody were to look ather resume and see Taylor Upton
not even know if she was male orfemale, so that wouldn't be a
(17:31):
little bit more than that.
SPEAKER_01 (17:32):
We talked about that a little bit.
I think we talked about thatwith other than Ainsley, both of
our first kids.
And then Ainsley, we just wentoff the rails.
SPEAKER_05 (17:39):
Totally.
SPEAKER_01 (17:39):
You know, Bailey and Taylor, I think we decided we
wanted to be gender-neutral,find their way.
And um, it's kind of funny in away when I think about it,
because by doing thatgender-neutral thing, this I've
never thought of this.
SPEAKER_05 (17:53):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (17:53):
Taylor, in a lot of ways, we gave her a general
neutral name as a female, andher dynamics and her personality
as far as the way she drove wasmore male.
SPEAKER_05 (18:02):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (18:03):
In in a weird way.
And and I'm just saying, becausethere's this playing ground.
Bailey, we gave a genderalneutral name, but as a boy, his
sensitivities, his golden heart,all the things that make him so
amazing, what he is.
I think if you were blindtesting it on a page of paper,
he would there's more femininequalities that would come out on
a piece of paper.
And I think I would pass, Ithink I would have that same
test now.
If you absolutely if you hadthat kind of board, and I think
(18:25):
Bailey in a lot of ways, youknow, I don't even know where
I'm going with that, but it'sinteresting to me that we gave
two kids gender-neutral namesand one was a girl, and she
drifted towards more what wouldbe stereotypical male kind of
personality traits in heryounger age.
That's where I'm just talkinglike the big category.
SPEAKER_03 (18:42):
Yeah, just what where her interests were.
SPEAKER_01 (18:45):
Toughness and sort of like competitiveness, sports,
all that stuff.
It's just if you did if you wenton a piece of paper, you'd be
like, that's probably a dude.
Like by a little bit, just onand I don't even know the test
that it would be.
And on Bailey, ever day one, hewas the kindest that was sweet.
Nao machismo.
No, none of that came through.
It wasn't until like he was lateteens, early twenties where he
(19:07):
kind of started to find thatedge.
Like he found like more thatkind of dude edge with his
friends and things like that.
But in the midst of it, and hekind of balances out with Kenzie
now in his 20s and 30s, he sortof drifts back to being that
kind of thoughtful, kind soulkind of thing.
So it's interesting.
SPEAKER_03 (19:22):
It is interesting.
I think we also, just by thenature of the way we thought
what was important in raising akid, is we were really
particular about not giving themgender-specific toys or
gender-specific conversationswith them.
We just let them do what theywanted to do and let them lead
(19:42):
what was important.
SPEAKER_01 (19:43):
Right.
Our biases came through and wecouldn't even nail them down,
but you can't get away from it.
But overall, um, as I see themin the world, see them at these
weddings now and and see whotheir their partners are.
Um, you know, we it's stillunfinished business, but overall
it's like, all right, you know.
Let's see what time I think.
We're I think we actually haveto but while I'm p pulling up
our our real life sponsors, weactually have some issues now
(20:06):
because we joked around with it,uh, but now we have some.
But it's like I think we triedin our last episodes to expand
on it's not you and I talking toeach other.
Yeah.
But that question, why would itbe a good one in a high school
relationship, first dates,things like that?
I have my answer.
Why do you think that would be afundamental question to ask?
SPEAKER_03 (20:27):
I think it's an opportunity to consider how
people change over time and notto be afraid of change because
change can be good.
I mean, change is is a part oflife.
What would you say?
SPEAKER_01 (20:40):
I think the uh my answer is I think what I'm
thinking on that is I need tohear what the question was
again.
SPEAKER_03 (20:48):
What's the most unexpected thing about being
within Okay, I got it.
SPEAKER_01 (20:52):
I think it's a touchstone.
I think it's a I think it'd benot a bad question.
I because that's one is that Ithink we're 35 years together,
34 years.
No, uh Phil got me on that one.
34 years together and 34 yearsmarried.
We had that little joke at thewedding.
But I think that's the firsttime that's been phrased in that
exact time frame.
(21:13):
But let's say that was somethingyou remembered to kind of touch
on every once in a while, youmight not drift that far apart.
Like if I think about friendsthat are going through divorces
or friends that have beendivorced, where let's say they
get divorced at eight years orten years or eleven years.
What if over a date at three,four, let's say it let's say you
got divorced at eight years?
What if at five years on ananniversary or a date when
things were starting to get alittle gnarly and kind of get a
(21:35):
little drift and you just kindof put the card across and says,
What attracted you to me in thefirst place?
Or what surprised me?
Yeah.
Or what surprised you about mein the first place?
And maybe it's this littleglimmer of something that you
hadn't talked about in six orseven years.
And I think you drift apartbecause you're not going to
compliment each other.
You're not going to necessarilythrow that out.
I mean, here we are 34 years.
We're not just droppingcompliments on each other every
(21:56):
day.
SPEAKER_03 (21:57):
No, we don't.
SPEAKER_01 (21:58):
Not like that.
We give encouragement.
SPEAKER_03 (22:00):
We do.
SPEAKER_01 (22:01):
But not in that form.
SPEAKER_03 (22:02):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (22:02):
Not in that form, like, remember, it's one of the
things I told you.
I love about you.
That's you know, it's the thingthat kind of I think that's
where it lands on me is um.
Did you hear that?
unknown (22:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (22:15):
I just think I hit it, but it's like a trombone.
SPEAKER_03 (22:17):
Oh, that's weird.
SPEAKER_01 (22:19):
I'm fine out if I kind of patting myself on the
head right now because I feellike it might come through the
microphone.
That was it.
It's this, it's my headphone.
SPEAKER_03 (22:26):
Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01 (22:27):
Can you hear that?
No.
Oh, it's in my brain.
It's not good radio orpodcasting at all.
Um yeah, I think that ifexpanding on that question, I
think that's where it could behelpful to any relationship.
Touchstone.
SPEAKER_03 (22:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (22:42):
Don't get too far away from it.
So we have real sponsors now.
And the big thing that's changedover the last seven months since
we podcasted, other than usdisappointing Venezuela, which
now Stacey's apologized directlyto them.
I don't know if you even askedme what that was.
The second one.
It was a direct apology from youto the entire country of
(23:03):
Venezuela.
SPEAKER_03 (23:04):
And what did you say?
SPEAKER_01 (23:05):
Brian is great.
unknown (23:06):
Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01 (23:07):
But that that was it's probably not even it's it's
gonna play well down there, thisroom.
Not so funny now, but it's umthat's that was your apology to
an entire country.
It's probably gonna work its wayin the title of this episode.
SPEAKER_03 (23:20):
Oh sheesh, of course it is.
SPEAKER_01 (23:22):
But we have gotten real life changes in vibes, um,
TV networks out there, magazinesstill doing the magazine, doing
monthly retainers.
Um, podcast management's gottento be a thing.
But in the midst of all this,these monthly retainers and the
expansion of these relationshipsthat's created real sponsors for
our podcast and three or four ofour other podcasts we manage.
(23:43):
So we're gonna rotate themthrough.
It could be Metro, uh Keontes,uh Golden State Warriors are
coming up, uh Lolly, Parks andRec.
I'll forget one, but we'llrotate them through.
And I think what we can do onthese is one, it's gonna force
us to podcast more.
Because as much as we shit onbroken tiles, you and I'll just
say that.
(24:03):
I'll beat it out.
I'll put a duck in it orsomething.
Hold on.
I got this new board, it's sogreat.
Why don't I even have it here?
I feel like there should be likea little duck or something.
Crickets.
That's the saddest thing.
The um, but we'll do Keontisfirst.
You know, and Keontis is asponsor, and they're with us
now.
And I think we're gonna kind ofdo a little, I'm gonna try to do
a little bit of uh productionhere.
(24:25):
Let's see if we can do this.
Oh, we know that.
Jack's back at Keontis everyweekend.
Crew's been putting in thehours, fine-tuning every detail
to bring their version ofNightmare Before Christmas to
life.
It's weird, it's wonderful, it'spure Santa Cruz.
Heart, humor, and a little TimBurton.
Pizza, pasta, and the best vibesdowntown at Keonti's, 1100
(24:47):
Pacific Avenue, Santa Cruz,details at Keonti's.com.
SPEAKER_03 (24:52):
Nice.
SPEAKER_01 (24:53):
It was fun.
I went down there last weekendand filmed the crew, I guess two
weeks ago, before we left, butfilmed the crew practicing their
dance.
It's spectacular.
It's so much work they put intoit.
All everybody's dressed up.
Jack Skeleton's there.
Um, you know, all the charactersfrom Nightmare Before Christmas,
the meaningful ones, and they dotheir interpretation of that.
And I think throwing dough.
(25:13):
Throwing dough, dancing,choreographed, amazing for the
kids.
The lights are down.
SPEAKER_03 (25:18):
So fun.
SPEAKER_01 (25:18):
It's an incredible show.
We should go down there andcheck it out.
SPEAKER_05 (25:20):
Oh, we should go tomorrow night.
SPEAKER_01 (25:22):
Yeah, I think they do it on the hour.
I should be more aware of this.
But check Keontis.com.
It's Friday and Saturdays.
I feel like they do two or threeshows a night, like seven,
eight, and nine, I feel like.
And they and it's really a funthing downtown.
It's kind of an iconic thing inSanta Cruz because whether you
know it or not, you might becoming out of a Catalyst concert
or cruising around, and then yousee all these lights go off in
(25:43):
this restaurant, and sometimesit's just disco, right?
Sometimes it's them doing theirthing.
This will be much moretheatrical.
But they put all the hard work,you know, Kelly and Tracy down
there and Rochelle, they put somuch work into this, the
choreography, the music, it'sspectacular.
So that's Keonties, one of oursponsors, and it's Keontes.com,
and check them out.
SPEAKER_03 (26:02):
Check it out.
It's it's really a blast.
SPEAKER_01 (26:06):
Let's see if I could get us back here.
unknown (26:10):
Oops.
SPEAKER_01 (26:12):
Question two, babe.
SPEAKER_03 (26:14):
You ready?
SPEAKER_01 (26:15):
What do you feel like having a real life sponsor?
Never forget Branham.
Pan Am.
SPEAKER_03 (26:24):
Yeah, I was gonna say it wasn't Branham.
SPEAKER_01 (26:25):
It was Branham, the last two episodes.
Oh, yeah.
Remember Pan Am fired us becausewe took a year off because of
your dizziness.
And by Pan Am.
SPEAKER_03 (26:31):
Okay, here we go.
This is a fill in the blank.
SPEAKER_00 (26:37):
Okay, wait for it.
I want you to tell me when youcan ask the question.
You ready?
SPEAKER_03 (26:41):
I'm ready.
SPEAKER_00 (26:42):
Go ahead.
SPEAKER_03 (26:43):
I love you the most when goodness.
My voice is high enough already.
SPEAKER_01 (26:54):
Can you say the question one more time?
SPEAKER_03 (26:57):
Fill in the plate.
SPEAKER_04 (26:58):
I love you most.
SPEAKER_01 (27:04):
I love you most when.
SPEAKER_03 (27:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (27:06):
You could answer first because I went first last
time.
SPEAKER_03 (27:08):
Oh gosh, I I'm not ready.
I love you most when.
I love you most.
Well, two things come to mind.
One, our audience has heard manytimes.
I love you most when you bringme coffee in the morning,
because it's so easy to do.
You can't use that one.
(27:28):
I know.
Um I love you.
SPEAKER_01 (27:33):
Oh, it shouldn't be this hard.
SPEAKER_03 (27:36):
Well, there's lots of things.
There's more than one.
SPEAKER_01 (27:39):
That's pretty smooth.
SPEAKER_03 (27:40):
So I think the one that comes to the top is when we
are able to snuggle together,like when you're in a really
happy, snuggly mood.
It doesn't happen very often.
SPEAKER_01 (27:53):
It used to happen all the time.
At one point we're on a recordpace for cuddles, but I think it
doesn't happen a lot the lastcouple years with maybe it's
vibes, maybe it's kind of beingstretched, maybe it's bandwidth.
SPEAKER_05 (28:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (28:03):
I think I've been going through a period of
well-documented spinning um, youknow, to the point of even for
the first time taking somethingfor it, and which has been good
and awkward, you know, as far asI think whatever inhibitor I'm
on, but it's different.
It's I think talking to somebodyabout it today, it's easier for
me to talk about it than kind ofto like hope it works out
(28:25):
because you find out how manypeople are trying to get through
it.
But it's I took it to get rid ofthe constant spinning in my
head, not necessarily thisdepression, but by taking it, I
felt more towards depression andnothingness.
But I do still think like it'seasier to work back from that
than spinning all the time.
SPEAKER_03 (28:42):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (28:42):
That's what we're doing.
SPEAKER_03 (28:44):
You can't think when you're spinning all the time.
You can't get anything straight.
SPEAKER_01 (28:48):
But I think you've suffered the consequences of of
that the last two and a halfyears in a lot of ways.
If I can't, you know, turn itoff, it's fitful.
SPEAKER_03 (28:58):
Yeah.
I just I feel like it's um theseason, you know, this isn't
gonna last forever.
This is not how you've alwaysbeen.
This is just right now and it'stemporary.
SPEAKER_01 (29:10):
Yeah, and it's the sleep that I think the the lack
of sleep, which was always mysuperpower.
SPEAKER_05 (29:17):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (29:17):
Through anything we've gone through, I was always
able to kind of knock out eight,nine hours of sleep and uh turn
it off and then wake up and atleast have that banked.
But by losing the sleep, I thinkthat kind of caused me to have
to kind of reach out and get alittle bit of help with that.
But it's it's a process rightnow, but I do feel um a little
more clear headed.
Um I just want it to be inlonger stretches now, and
(29:38):
that'll bring the cuddling back.
SPEAKER_03 (29:42):
That'd be nice.
So the question was uh fill inthe blank.
SPEAKER_01 (29:46):
I love you most when um I think I well when even as
far as we go on this show, Iwon't say it on air.
I love you most when it's almoston tune with what I just said
there.
Is one.
when you have the ability tohave the patience to pull me out
of that.
(30:06):
I think that's when, you know,those moments because I think in
other relationships or otherlives, like I don't know if
sometimes the patience would bethere, but I think when it's all
said and done, you know, it'sreally nice to kind of like be
able to maybe bottom out alittle bit.
(30:27):
Be I guess I'm not the mostvulnerable person, but I do kind
of flame out.
You know, as far as like energy,perspective, time.
Is all I'm looking for isperspective, but it can go away
pretty quick sometimes.
And I think, you know, it's nicewhen you sort of have that
something to hold on to a littlebit.
Feels like that.
SPEAKER_03 (30:48):
We've never really talked about that before.
SPEAKER_01 (30:51):
That's what the show's all about, baby.
SPEAKER_00 (30:54):
Alright, we're gonna do a review.
SPEAKER_03 (30:57):
Oh, okay.
That's unexpected.
SPEAKER_00 (31:00):
You ready for this?
SPEAKER_03 (31:01):
I'm ready.
SPEAKER_00 (31:03):
Okay, you know I was gonna see how long it takes you
to dial in.
What show is it?
SPEAKER_03 (31:16):
K-pop demon hunters?
SPEAKER_00 (31:17):
Nope.
SPEAKER_03 (31:18):
Oh I don't know then.
SPEAKER_01 (31:34):
That is Park in the bin singing the title track from
Castaway Diva.
Dream Us.
Tell them what's been going onwith this last year.
SPEAKER_03 (31:45):
Oh we have done a deep dive into K-pop drama not
drama.
Rom comps.
SPEAKER_01 (31:54):
Rom comps.
SPEAKER_03 (31:55):
Oh my gosh, they're just delicious.
SPEAKER_01 (31:57):
Castaway Diva is a K drama about Sei Moka, an
aspiring singer who was strandedon a deserted island for 15
years after escaping an abusivefather.
Upon her rescue she isdetermined to fulfill her dream
of becoming a singer, finds heridol, Yoon Ranju, and be and
works to become a successfuldiva with the help of her
childhood friend Kiho, who shewas separated from during her
(32:18):
escape.
The series blends a tale ofperseverance with the underlying
themes of childhood trauma andthe long lasting effects of
abuse.
SPEAKER_03 (32:25):
And it's so sweet.
SPEAKER_01 (32:27):
Oh, all these K traumas are 17 episodes.
And they're about an hour and 20minutes each good binging.
Limited stakes euphorichappiness.
Yeah exactly frozen kisses atthe end of episodes with bubbles
(32:49):
floating up it's so adorable.
I just love them.
And it's you know if anything inthe muck of all the kind of like
some of the darkness and now I'mtalking politically not just
like the things we were justtalking about but the
divisiveness the world we'reliving in it's been an awfully
nice break.
Now I've been on Korean cinemafor a long time 15 years maybe
(33:11):
but more along the lines of thedrama andor revenge shows that
they do very well Parasite isthe penultimate of a director
that does it and that's like thefirst I think entry three or
four years ago that Americareally started paying attention
and it elevated Korean cinema inAmerica Parasite winning.
But I was on that thing fromlike you know old boy and stuff
(33:31):
like that all the way back.
It's I think it was you weregone on a trip and I watched a
uh revenge series and then itjust recommended that to me for
two years on Netflix and I saidyes to every single one.
SPEAKER_03 (33:42):
And I was not interested because they're
pretty bloody and they're prettyviolent.
Yeah I don't I don't enjoy thattoo well.
SPEAKER_01 (33:49):
What's your rating of it?
SPEAKER_03 (33:51):
Oh my gosh.
What's our scale again?
SPEAKER_01 (33:54):
It's by tenths of a point one to ten a ten.
A what?
A ten.
SPEAKER_03 (34:02):
I couldn't get enough of it.
SPEAKER_01 (34:04):
People are gonna watch this now.
SPEAKER_03 (34:06):
But you give it a ten I'm giving it a ten too well
you have to be okay with readingsubtitles.
SPEAKER_01 (34:14):
But it slows you down.
SPEAKER_03 (34:15):
But it slows you down.
It makes you not look at yourphone.
I think that's another reasonwhy I really am enjoying these K
dramas because you have to payattention and then you lose
yourself and you actually relax.
SPEAKER_01 (34:27):
All of our best shows are subtitled.
SPEAKER_03 (34:29):
All of them.
SPEAKER_01 (34:30):
Is it Karme?
Yeah um on Apple and um I feellike there's another there's so
many floating any one of ourNorwegian um murder mysteries
and things like that.
I I'm obsessed with um thesubtitles you have to stop you
have to stop.
It's very hard to you knowespecially with the compelling
(34:50):
ones that have a lot of twistsand turns yeah maybe not
castaway diva or extraordinaryattorney woo or hometown cha cha
cha.
SPEAKER_03 (34:58):
I can keep going we got all Extraordinary Attorney
Woo that might even be betterthan Castaway Diva.
SPEAKER_01 (35:02):
I don't know it's a it's a it's a 50-50 for me
because Castaway Diva was soridiculously just bubbly and
happy and crazy and this oh andthen we watched hometown cha cha
cha.
SPEAKER_03 (35:14):
And that's also great.
SPEAKER_00 (35:16):
Mm-hmm are we on three yeah we're doing pretty
good though I don't even knowwhat time frame we're on oh
we're almost at 40 minutes we'redoing our normal show I'm ready
for paper.
SPEAKER_03 (35:30):
Okay.
We have to think with this onewe both do.
Choose five words to describe myfuture that I don't dare
imagine.
SPEAKER_01 (35:41):
Whoa that's a huge question.
SPEAKER_03 (35:43):
I know it's good for number three.
SPEAKER_01 (35:45):
It is good for number three if I'm gonna play
some bumper music to um get usthrough or even another I'll
play another um commercial fromour other sponsor real quick to
get us through here and read thequestion one more time so I know
it's choose five words todescribe the I wonder if you
have to describe my future thatI don't dare Bennett surf and
(36:07):
showstopper Ethel Merman alwaysfly Branna Ethel Merman.
Thanks for flying Branna folkswhen you got it flaunted always
ask your travel each times havechanged babe they like our girls
(36:28):
that is a lot funny maybe we goback and forth instead of doing
five in a row we'll try to rockout five doing it back and forth
um that I can't imagine describemy future that I don't dare
imagine and it's words?
Yep five words painting relaxedyes give me that I can't imagine
(36:54):
that I know can you imaginepainting all day no I would love
it.
Because you love painting butthat part of it I'll I'll use
this word so you know where I'mgoing with it um because since
it's one word I'll stay in thechallenge stability Wow I love
it yeah that's my second oneactive yeah I can I can see that
(37:18):
and I can see it beingunimaginable to me right now.
So I'm on number three for youthat you can't imagine.
Close this is fun what do youthink I mean by that?
I don't know think about it alittle bit close a future like
close to retirement?
Nope.
SPEAKER_03 (37:36):
Oh I'm way off to the kids.
Oh I love that.
SPEAKER_01 (37:40):
It's hard to imagine yeah you know I mean I use that
because we're using the singularwords but that that's the word I
have to use to kind of get tothe conversation but gotcha you
know I think you have this uhfaraway dream of being close to
the kids logistically for allthe things going on and the more
life goes on it seems like thatbecomes more and more improbable
in a lot of ways.
We'll work it out but it's it'sit would be an unimaginable life
(38:04):
where we would just you would beclose to the kids right now.
Maybe right now.
Yeah I'm talking not as humanslogistically logistically in um
I want to say I can't figure outa word to express what I'm
trying to convey well you haveto remember you can you can do
(38:26):
like this could be like thatgame we play where um you're
doing like charades or somethingwhere maybe you do like I just
did you come up with the wordand I try to guess what you're
getting at.
Fluid fluid fluid are youtalking about motion?
No lubricated?
(38:48):
Oh then we're back to stability.
Yeah because that's kind of whatI meant with stability.
We didn't expand on that I wastalking financial stability in
retirement.
I was going way down the roadwith it.
Yeah this I should have asimilar yeah I was thinking
about this this question in thein the terms of like I can't
imagine that could be tomorrowbut I I for some reason I framed
this all into retirement forsome reason I put I put most of
(39:10):
this out there so I was I waswrong oh fluid with money yeah
and I think that's the wholegoal is we meet with our you
know shout out James Blizzak,America Prize Financial, he's
amazing and so is Lisa Rosano.
Yeah they're doing a great joband they've got us in a good
spot but it still is the worldwe live in is so um volatile.
It is you know with with it's upand down and you kind of are
(39:30):
always looking at is it going tobe here is it going to be there
and the the monkey in the middleis this fixed number no matter
how well you do it's this fixednumber and where does that fixed
number fit is is that part ofit.
So fluid would be really nice.
Yeah.
All right am I down to the fifthone?
SPEAKER_03 (39:44):
Uh I think you're down to four.
SPEAKER_01 (39:45):
I can't be I I can't rewind this tape right now I did
I did you did stable orstability.
Painting painting and close alot I am kind of digging it.
And so this is only four?
SPEAKER_03 (40:04):
Yeah this is number four.
SPEAKER_01 (40:06):
Good lord a word that's your future that you
can't imagine you don't dare toimagine you don't dare to
imagine oh don't dare to imagineI would put for you singularity
Wow I had the first three wrongthis one I'll kind of get I'll
(40:29):
go the last two and do I think II I didn't mess it up it's still
good content.
I think you know talk about us Ithink I was going down the wrong
not dare to imagine because youwould dare to imagine being
close to the kids but so I'llfix it with these last two
singularity you merging andliving forever or you know
merging with our technology.
SPEAKER_03 (40:47):
Dare to imagine for you grandfather and I know you
dare to imagine that but I'm Ican't think of a word to say
like really involved every daywith your grandkids.
SPEAKER_01 (41:03):
So dare to imagine being a grandfather like to the
expand on that a little like whywouldn't I dare to imagine that?
SPEAKER_03 (41:12):
Well like I just said I I can't come up with a
word to encapsulate like handson grandfather regularly.
SPEAKER_01 (41:21):
Right let me think the last one for you a world you
can't dare to imagine the wordI'm thinking of is that you
couldn't dare to imagine in afuture would be I know the word
and I can't think of it rightnow.
It's like this word about it'sopposite of where we are united.
SPEAKER_03 (41:42):
Okay tell me more a world united oh can you would
you dare to wait what's thequestion again describe oh
choose five words to describe myfuture that I don't dare imagine
this thing I think we butcheredthis your future that you
(42:04):
wouldn't dare to imagine youwould dare to imagine the world
getting along I'm gonna say aword for you okay mogul but I
would dare to say that you woulddare to dream that you would be
a media mogul?
SPEAKER_01 (42:19):
Because I know I could sell it if I if for some
reason I got the word mediamogul attached to vibes that
means that somebody would comeand buy it um but that's that's
a fair answer.
I don't think I would ever godown the the road daring to
think that in that world.
SPEAKER_03 (42:38):
There's not too many words that you would dare to
think I mean I guess the word adream you wouldn't dare describe
my future that I don't dareimagine.
Like we don't often imaginesomething bigger than what we
think is doable.
SPEAKER_01 (42:56):
That's how I'm thinking about it Oh yeah I
guess I could say like princessor something.
I don't you could it seems likeit gets in that category that
the daring to imagine somethingwould fall in that category of
um maybe it's more along thelines of um I don't we we don't
dare we're our own worst ccritics, right?
SPEAKER_03 (43:19):
Like typically people don't imagine they're
gonna do something reallyfabulous because we set limits
on ourselves.
But I know you well enough toreally believe in your ability
to be a media mogul.
Oh I see that's that's how I'mthinking of it.
(43:39):
I don't know if that makes senseto you.
SPEAKER_01 (43:41):
Yeah that you wouldn't dare to imagine I think
it's like breaking through thatseal of of what you would think.
SPEAKER_03 (43:48):
What you feel like you can achieve which you know
we do put a lot of limits onourselves.
And it's nice to hear whensomebody thinks that you can
accomplish so much more maybethat's why this question Yeah
because then my the first one ofthe first ones I came up with
was like um sailing you wouldclearly dare to imagine that no
(44:09):
I wouldn't well you do you wantto get back on a paddleboard you
want to s get on a boat.
SPEAKER_01 (44:13):
And so that's where I get confused by this question
is like it's like you wouldn'tdare to imagine sailing.
SPEAKER_03 (44:18):
I w I wouldn't I I mean when I think about uh going
on a paddleboard that's a bigachievement I might go on the
Chardonnay the the little cruiseI guess that is a sailboat but I
wouldn't be sailing that I'd beon a ride Oh yeah you know what
I'm saying?
Yeah and that's for an two hoursat the most yeah so sailing.
SPEAKER_01 (44:40):
Yeah that's that's my fifth one I'm done with this
God that is the hardest one weever did I don't even it was
hard.
I don't know if I can find a wayout of that one.
That's gonna be some of thecraftiest edits of all time if
we can work that out.
Believe me if you're listeningto this right now there's a
chance that at the beginning ofthat question which said
describe five things this couldhave been six days we took to
(45:03):
answer that.
SPEAKER_03 (45:04):
You won't know.
I think we left the mics wentout to dinner walked the dog
went to Keanti's watched themthrow dough and dance Jack's
back babe this was great.
SPEAKER_01 (45:17):
I think we got it all in sponsored by Santa Cruz
Vibes Podcast Management.
SPEAKER_03 (45:20):
We'll get into it more do we have the family music
guessing game?
Do you have that cued up or no?
SPEAKER_01 (45:25):
Oh my god you're gonna have to kill some time
here.
SPEAKER_03 (45:27):
Oh jees how can you talk about um I don't know what
can I talk about riff onsomething.
I am not a riffer.
I am somebody who likes to havethings planned let me pull it up
hold on one second I can askanother question.
I just pulled it from anotherdeck.
Do that it's gonna take a bitokay what's one thing you would
(45:48):
like to see happen in your lifethis year so between now and
October of 2026 what do you wantto see happen?
SPEAKER_01 (45:58):
You get answer first because I'm looking for a
playlist I would like to see inmy life this year.
SPEAKER_03 (46:10):
I want to see Ainsley on stage in New York.
Hmm you might get New Jerseyokay New Jersey will work.
It's close to New York.
I can't find it that's been solong since we podcasted okay
well we will just let it go.
SPEAKER_01 (46:27):
This thing really ended with a this really petered
out at the end this podcast Ithink we don't have our legs
underneath us we might we mightdrop a few follows after this
one um I hope not no we'll do iton the more regular basis yeah
we'll get that pulled up foundagain somewhere if we podcast
every couple weeks that'll beeasy to find yeah love you babe
love you bye
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