May 27, 2025 • 23 mins
In this empowering episode, Kristin Fitch dives into the core barriers holding women back from reaching their full potential—mindset and motivation. She explores how our beliefs shape our actions, explaining that a fixed mindset can keep us stuck, while a growth mindset opens the door to transformation and continuous learning. Kristin offers practical strategies for building motivation, including the power of setting small, achievable goals and celebrating victories along the way. She emphasizes the importance of identifying limiting beliefs and confronting procrastination and self-sabotage, equipping listeners with actionable insights to break through barriers and create lasting change in their lives.
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Key Takeaways:
- Transform your mindset and motivation to build a strong foundation for personal growth and success.
- Identify limiting beliefs that are holding you back, and start rewriting your story for progress.
- Create momentum by setting small, actionable goals and celebrating every victory, no matter how small.
- Shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset to embrace change and open the door to continuous learning.
- Understand the reasons behind procrastination and self-sabotage to effectively tackle mindset and motivation challenges.
- Consistency and small steps can drive significant progress, boosting confidence and fueling long-term motivation.
building a life you love, mindset motivation, personal development podcast, overcoming limitations, growth mindset strategies, practical tips for motivation, self-improvement techniques, building positive habits, finding your passion, mindset shifts for success, motivation and action, creating meaningful work, overcoming procrastination, self-sabotage solutions, mindset and motivation for change, tools for personal growth, unlock your potential, building resilience, transformative personal journey, creating a fulfilling life
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hey, friends, and welcome backto building a life you love.
This is your host, Kristen.
Today we're going to talkabout what might be holding you back
and what can we do about it.
So that's what we're going todive into today, but the crux of
it will be around our mindsetand motivation and how do we jumpstart
both of those?
Have you ever imaginedbuilding a life you love, but got
stuck in between the what ifs,expectations and obligations in your
(00:24):
life?
Welcome to building a life youlove, the podcast dedicated to helping
you step into a life whereyour passion blossoms from within,
your faith deepens, andsimplicity becomes your favorite
synonym for everyday life.
Hi, I'm your host, Kristin, anencourager, a faith led entrepreneur,
a mom and a wife.
Join me each week as we diveinto creating positive habits, stepping
(00:44):
out of your comfort zone,making space for meaningful work
and relationships.
I'm going to bring youpractical tips, uplifting conversations
and expert guidance that youcan use.
So why wait?
Step off the path ofexpectations and into a space that
feels genuinely yours.
So subscribe now to building alife you love.
And let's begin thistransformative journey together towards
joy, peace and purpose.
(01:06):
And I want to share with youwhat the author of the book Limitless
said.
Jim Kwik.
He says motivation is a set ofemotions, painful and pleasurable,
that act as the fuel for our actions.
You can learn to unlimit andexpand your mindset, your motivation
and your methods to create alimitless life.
(01:28):
When you do what others won't,you can live how others can't.
But he basically explains thatwe can't start with how to.
Sorry.
We can't start with how tochange something in our lives or
sorry.
Or the methods.
We have to start looking atour motivation and our mindset.
(01:50):
And so that's what we're goingto dig into today.
We're just going to, you know,know this is going to be a mini episode.
So we're just going to get ataste of this idea and some things
to ask ourselves.
Okay.
And so dim quick talks aboutthis, but so do other people.
There's a whole book about agrowth mindset from a professor and
(02:11):
I can't think of her nameright now.
But basically the first thingwe need to do is we need to understand
that our mindset shapeseverything about us.
So if we believe somethinglike we can't do something or there's
no, there's no other pathforward, we're stuck in the job or
the career, in we're not aSomebody that's fit.
(02:36):
Like, in other words, if wehave beliefs like that, we're limiting
ourselves because we're gonna.
We're gonna act based on our beliefs.
So if we think, oh, well, Ican't run three miles, or I.
I don't see any possibility ofa different job or a different path,
then we're going to act basedon that belief, right on that mindset.
(02:57):
And so what we want to do iswe want to go from a fixed mindset
thinking that we're limited bythe world around us.
We're limited by either ourpast or we're limited by the circumstances
around us.
We want to shift from that toa growth mindset, meaning that we
understand and know that wecan change, we can evolve, we can
(03:18):
keep learning.
And if being honest, the onlyway to move forward is to have a
mindset that tells us that weshould always be the student, we
should always be learning.
And I say that because theworld is changing very quickly.
Look at how much AI is nowtied into so many processes and tools
online.
(03:39):
I mean, almost every onlinetool I use for even doing this podcast,
they have now tied in AIelements to them.
So we're going to have toadapt, we're going to have to adjust,
and we're going to have tokeep learning new skills.
So we have to shift to agrowth mindset.
We have to shift from seeingthat there's possibility for our
(04:01):
future, that just because wewere something in the past or identified
as something doesn't mean thatthat defines our future.
We want to understand that wejust want to move towards something
we don't have to.
For instance, let's say thatin the past, you've just struggled
to even take walks daily, right?
Or do any sort of fitness thatwe don't want to, then keep telling
(04:21):
ourselves, like, oh, I'm.
I can't do that.
I'm not fit.
What we want to say is, youknow, I'm a work in progress.
I am making strides to becomemore fit.
Or I've started walking evenfor 10 minutes a day, and I just
want to increase that.
But when we set a goal likethat, we're shifting our language
as we start refining who we'rebecoming in the future, not what
(04:45):
we did or who we were in the past.
Okay?
So that's the first thing wehave to really start understanding
our mindset.
And if you want to read moreabout this, the book Limitless by
Jim Quick is a great one.
Or the book, I will put it inthe show notes.
But the book about the GrowthMindset, which is another really
good book, and I have itsomewhere in my office that's a great
(05:07):
one.
Whether you're.
Whether it's for yourself orsomeone, maybe your children.
Growth Mindset is a great bookbecause it really looks at how, when
we're young, if things are tooeasy for us or we get celebrated
by, like, how smart we are.
The problem is, is when thingsget harder to figure out, we get
(05:28):
harder courses or harderthings in life.
Sometimes we.
We get frustrated, we give up,because things came easy to us before.
But life's all aboutovercoming obstacles.
It's all about figuring outanother way, problem solving.
And so if we have a growthmindset, we realize that the key
to us, to all of us, is justfinding a way forward and then finding
(05:52):
a way to improve something.
Right?
And so that's super important.
All right.
The next thing is the tworeasons why a lot of people don't
make changes in their lives iseither their mindset or they struggle
to be motivated, right.
To take that action.
But what's interesting ismotivation isn't just about wanting
(06:14):
to do it, like feelinginspired to do it.
It's about creating habits and momentum.
And so in his book Limitless,Jim Kwik talks about a strategy called
focus.
Follow one course untilsuccessful to keep us motivated by
focusing on one thing at a time.
And lots of other people talkabout similar ideas.
(06:34):
The book by James Clear calledAtomic Habits, which lots of people
have read that also talksabout this idea that we have to do
one small thing, right, andbuild on it.
In other words, it's like themicrohabits, but you don't go from
never running to decide you'regoing to run a marathon in a week.
(06:58):
In other words, what we wantto do is we want to build up that
momentum, build up a habit ofjust making time to go in, walk,
or jog, right?
And over time, we will buildon that habit.
And so it's the same sort ofidea about having motivation.
We want to, you know, followone course until successful, meaning
(07:21):
that you don't want to startoff with the huge goal like, I want
to run a marathon.
You can know that's the goal,but you have to start off with the
tiniest piece.
I want to run a marathon, butI'm not there yet.
So what I'm going to do is I'mgoing to start committing to, you
know, every day or a coupletimes a week, walking or walk.
Jogging, Right.
And then from there, onceyou've started doing it consistently,
(07:44):
you can Add on to that andbuild on that habit so that eventually
that motivation gets biggerbecause you're being successful in
what you started and you canbuild on that, right?
Which is the action you're taking.
Action.
The next thing is when wedon't do different things, when we're
not growing and learning, ifwe always do the same thing, in other
(08:07):
words, we, our brains arewired to take the easiest, easiest
path.
And so what we need to do iswe need to change things up.
And so, for instance, youmight have heard about this before,
but driving home a new way,you know, working out a different
way, sometimes we need a new challenge.
(08:30):
One because it actually helpswire our brain a little bit different.
It challenges our brain in adifferent way.
This helps us so that we'renot always looking for comfort.
We're not always looking forthe easiest path, because that is
easy.
But it's not helping us grow.
It's not helping us build resilience.
(08:51):
And so those things are goingto help us strengthen our mindset
and have more motivation.
So that's super important.
And it's by shifting ourmindset motivation that we can start
changing our thoughts and ourpatterns, which will help us take
more action.
And Jim Kwik says this, yourmindset is your most powerful tool.
(09:11):
If you can change the way youthink, you can change the way you
live.
So I want to share a couplequestions with you to get you thinking
about, is there somethingholding you back and how can we kind
of get dig into that?
But I will say he also says alot of people know what to do but
don't because of your mindsetand motivation.
(09:32):
So we have to acknowledgethat, that often it's not because
you don't want to take action.
It's because you need to lookat your mindset and then.
Or look at your motivation.
And so you need to askyourself, where do you feel stuck?
Like you're not makingprogress, but you want to.
You know, it could be in your relationships.
(09:52):
It could be in your career,income, your health, energy, you
know, or any other area.
And so one of the other thingthat Jim talked about in an interview
that I was listening to, hesaid, if you fight for limitations,
you get to keep them.
And this is really going backto the idea of having a victim mentality.
(10:13):
And I've shared about this before.
There is a psychiatrist that'swritten a couple books.
She's in her 90s, and she wasactually in the concentration camps
in Germany.
But, you know, she talks about that.
We, we have to start asking Why?
I mean, stop asking why me?
And shift that thinking, right?
That, that mind, mindset orthat belief to what's next.
(10:40):
So that's about this whole thing.
If we get stuck in identifyingwith our limit, our limitations,
our trauma, our pastperformance, right?
Like maybe we.
You did something wrong in the past.
Maybe we're ashamed of something.
If we identify only by whatwe've done already, or being a victim
(11:00):
or holding on to anger orhurt, maybe some of you, you know,
have been left in your, youknow, your spouse has left you, or
you're in a relationship, itgot broken up and you still are hurting
from that.
Well, we can't hold on to the identity.
We have to let go of thelimitations and start asking ourselves
what's next?
(11:20):
Okay, so it gives an example.
If you keep saying the thing,it's not serving you.
So for instance, if somebodysays, I don't have a great memory,
it's just keeping us stuck there.
And if you're not ready to saythe future thing, then what you can
say is, I don't have a greatmemory yet, or I'm working on getting
(11:45):
better at my memory.
So in other words, we have tostart using different language to
describe ourselves or who orwhat we want to be because it's,
it's not going to help us.
Some other things that hetalks about was that procrastination
and self sabotage are both challenges.
Procrastination is amotivation issue and self sabotage
(12:05):
is a mindset issue.
So if we're doing thosethings, we need to look at one of
those two areas.
And I like one of the thingsthat Greg McEwen in effortless talks
about.
He talks about when we feeloverwhelmed by a project or trying
to do something, then we wantto name the first obvious step.
(12:27):
The reason is so many of ussee this big project and we don't
break it down into real small steps.
So what happens is we nevertake action.
So he gives a.
He tells a story that aproductivity expert shared about
April, April Perry.
But basically there's a womanshe's working with who has a room
that's filled with books.
(12:48):
Books everywhere, piles ofbooks, boxes of books, books on top
of furniture.
It's literally books everywhere.
And the woman knew thesolution to getting her books out
of the living room was to buy bookshelves.
But she's just not doing it right.
It seems like she'sprocrastinating or she's self sabotaging
because the books keep sittingthere month after month kind of a
(13:08):
thing.
And so as they walk through,you know, like, what needs to happen
for.
For you to move these books, right?
Get them off of all yourservices, and they kind of walk through
it all.
And so as they do, you know,the obvious first thing was like,
oh, well, if I orderbookshelves, I could put the books
away.
But then when you break thatstep down, she didn't know what size
(13:31):
bookshelves to order, so sheactually said, no, I can't order
bookshelves because I don'tknow what size I would need to measure
the room, right?
Measure what size bookshelves.
And so then the productivityexpert asks her, well, can you go
right now and measure your walls?
And he says, no, because Ican't find a tape measure.
(13:52):
So the challenge started withthe smallest thing, but.
But now they identify herfirst step in the project of getting
her books out of the room andoff the floor and out of piles, which
is, I need to find, borrow, orbuy a tape measure so that I can
take that first fraction ingetting bookshelves.
(14:13):
So, see, this is what happensto so many of us is we start feeling
so overwhelmed by the projector the thing, maybe the work we want
to do on ourselves, maybe it'sa work on our marriage, and we think,
like, we need to fix the wholething or how do we get from here
to finishing the project?
But often it starts withidentifying what is the one thing
(14:36):
we can do right now.
What's that one small, tinyfirst step we can take?
Because the more tiny firststeps we take, it will start building
action and momentum.
And when we do that, ourmindset starts shifting and our motivation
shifts because we start seeingprogress, which gives us that little
(14:57):
hit of dopamine in our brain, right?
It's like I see now.
But in his book, he also says,but more often than not, a step as
tiny as buying tape measureprovides the momentum we need to
take the next step and thenthe next step after that.
Isn't that so good?
But I think what we need to dois reframe.
First of all, what's stoppingus from making progress, right?
(15:21):
Maybe it's in our health.
Maybe we really want to startlifting weights, but we just.
It just keeps not happening.
So we need to get.
We need to figure out what'sbehind that.
Like, is it something stoppingus because we don't have a place
to lift weights, we don't wantto go to a gym either to pay the
money or just.
We don't feel comfortable inthat environment?
Is it because we don't haveweights or Is it because we don't
(15:45):
have a designated area?
In other words, we have tostart getting behind?
Like, what is really stopping us?
Is it that we don't know howto lift weights?
Like you don't even know whatto do with them.
So we need to start askingourselves more questions when we're
stuck or when we feel likethere's something blocking our progress
in some area of our lives.
(16:06):
And then one other thing hetalks about in his book, this is
an effortless.
He says the magic of microbursts.
Microburst is a meteorologicalsurge that causes powerful winds
and storms for a brief butintense period, often just 10 to
15 minutes.
And.
But when he's talking aboutmicroburst in our own life, he says
(16:26):
microburst in April, Perry'svernacular is a 10 minute surge of
focused activity that can havean immediate effect on our essential
project.
It's the little burst ofmotivation and energy we get from
taking that first obvious action.
And from there, your energyand your confidence only builds with
every subsequent action.
And so I just want to give anexample of this.
(16:49):
He says, essential project,remove the clutter from the garage.
The first obvious action forsome people might be find the broom,
sweep out the shed and movethe bikes.
I'm sorry, that first obviousaction is find the broom.
The micro burst is sweep outthe shed and move the bikes into
the shed.
So it's really small, but thenit gives us really quick hit.
(17:11):
Right?
And then one last thing in hisbook that I want to share today,
he talks about the power oftwo and a half seconds.
And he says recentlyneuroscientists, psychologists have
found that the now weexperience last only 2.5 seconds.
He goes on to say about that 21/2 seconds is enough time to shift
(17:33):
our focus, to put the phonedown, to close the browser, to take
a deep breath.
It's enough time to open abook, take out a blank sheet of paper,
lace up our raining shoes, oropen up the junk drawer and fish
out our tape measure.
Right?
But we can also use those 2.5seconds to get caught in nonsense
non essential activities likescrolling, liking something, writing
(17:54):
a quick tweet or things like that.
So we do have to be carefulbecause if we just say, all right,
I'm for just a second, I'mgoing to like take one action.
It's going to move us in theright direction.
If the action is towardssomething we want to do or change
in our lives.
And I don't have it in frontof me.
(18:14):
But Mel Robbins wrote Severalbooks, but one of them is called
the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 habit.
And the whole idea of it isyou can shift your mindset by saying.
By saying that, like, if youdon't feel like putting on your running
shoes, you.
You basically kind of do thatcountdown and then do it right?
(18:35):
Like you're basically givingyourself like a ready, set go.
But they find that 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Right.
There's some psychology behindit that that works.
So whatever it takes to shiftyour thinking and kind of stop you
from whatever you werethinking about, to shift into taking
that one quick action towardswhat you want to have forward progress
(18:58):
or change in.
Okay, so here's two questionsyou can ask yourself.
If.
If I weren't afraid offailing, what would I start doing
today to move closer to thelife that I want to create?
So, you know, pick a category.
Health, money, you know,whatever it might be.
And ask yourself that questionin that context.
(19:20):
You know, is it that youreally want to lose weight?
You know, maybe you want tocommit to moving, you know, 10,000
steps a day?
Well, what is it that'skeeping you from that?
I mean, you might not beafraid of failing, but something
may be keeping you from that.
Is it that you're so busy yourday is booked full, and so then you
(19:40):
need to ask yourself, what canyou do differently?
Is there something you can do differently?
To start taking one tinyaction in that area.
Okay.
The next is, what belief orstory about myself is holding me
back from taking actiontowards my goal and how can I rewrite
it?
I think that's better said.
What believer story aboutmyself is holding me back from taking
(20:02):
action towards an villain, aspecific goal.
Right.
I mean, if it's too broadabout, oh, I just want to make more
money or I want a better life,it might be too broad.
And so write in a specific goal.
Right.
Maybe you want this to have acareer change in the next 12 months,
you know, so write somethingmore specific to that, not so vague.
(20:27):
Okay.
To wrap this up, what we wantto do is if we're finding that we're
stuck or locked in a place inour life, we don't feel like we're
making progress, or maybe wejust feel defeated or whatever it
might be, we need to realizethat the reason maybe we're not able
to move forward, we're notable to get past that roadblock or
take action is because we needto work on our mindset or our motivation.
(20:50):
And some of the books Imentioned that are worth checking
out, if you haven't alreadyare effortless by Greg McKeown, Atomic
Habits by James Clear, andLimitless by Jim Quick.
So those are all three greatbooks to really help you step into
doing the things you want todo, to make the changes in your life
(21:11):
you want to make in whateverarea they're in.
And then I do also want to letyou know that on my website@kristenfitch.com
There is a create a life youlove free workbook that you can download.
But it, it's basically itwalks you through tons of lists that
let you really understand whatit is you want in the different areas
(21:32):
of your life.
So your health, you know, whatis it?
What are your health goals?
What are your personal or yourgoals around your career?
What is it that you want toshift in your mindset?
And so it just has all thesethings and even has like, what, what
do you want to do right?
Like, what are your dreams forthe next 10 years?
(21:53):
So it has a ton of stuff.
It even has like, how can youshift the way you see your body?
And things like that.
But it's, it's a really powerful.
It basically is full of lists,reflections and journal pages and
gratitude pages to help youstep into the future you've always
wanted.
So if that's of interest toyou, head over to KristinFitch.com
go to my freebies page andit's the second section of downloads.
(22:16):
You can grab that and juststart becoming more confident and
clear and exactly who you areand what you want and what is important
to you.
So go grab that.
And you'll also be signed upto be part of my community by joining
my newsletter as well.
And thanks again for listening in.
And if you enjoyed the show,we'd love it if you'd subscribe and
(22:36):
leave us a review and ratingon Apple Podcast or wherever you
listen to podcasts.
And you can check out freebiesand resources we have for you@kristenfitch.com
and if you have ideas for theshow or guests that you'd like to
recommend, I'd love to hearfrom you.
So DM me on Instagramhristenfitch or you can email me
(22:58):
from the website.
Thanks so much.
Until next time, have a great week.
Hey, friends, and welcome backto building a life you love.
This is your host, Kristen.
Today we're going to talkabout what might be holding you back
and what can we do about it.
So that's what we're going todive into today, but the crux of
it will be around our mindsetand motivation and how do we jumpstart
both of those?
Have you ever imaginedbuilding a life you love, but got
stuck in between the what ifs,expectations and obligations in your
(00:24):
life?
Welcome to building a life youlove, the podcast dedicated to helping
you step into a life whereyour passion blossoms from within,
your faith deepens, andsimplicity becomes your favorite
synonym for everyday life.
Hi, I'm your host, Kristin, anencourager, a faith led entrepreneur,
a mom and a wife.
Join me each week as we diveinto creating positive habits, stepping
(00:44):
out of your comfort zone,making space for meaningful work
and relationships.
I'm going to bring youpractical tips, uplifting conversations
and expert guidance that youcan use.
So why wait?
Step off the path ofexpectations and into a space that
feels genuinely yours.
So subscribe now to building alife you love.
And let's begin thistransformative journey together towards
joy, peace and purpose.
(01:06):
And I want to share with youwhat the author of the book Limitless
said.
Jim Kwik.
He says motivation is a set ofemotions, painful and pleasurable,
that act as the fuel for our actions.
You can learn to unlimit andexpand your mindset, your motivation
and your methods to create alimitless life.
(01:28):
When you do what others won't,you can live how others can't.
But he basically explains thatwe can't start with how to.
Sorry.
We can't start with how tochange something in our lives or
sorry.
Or the methods.
We have to start looking atour motivation and our mindset.
(01:50):
And so that's what we're goingto dig into today.
We're just going to, you know,know this is going to be a mini episode.
So we're just going to get ataste of this idea and some things
to ask ourselves.
Okay.
And so dim quick talks aboutthis, but so do other people.
There's a whole book about agrowth mindset from a professor and
(02:11):
I can't think of her nameright now.
But basically the first thingwe need to do is we need to understand
that our mindset shapeseverything about us.
So if we believe somethinglike we can't do something or there's
no, there's no other pathforward, we're stuck in the job or
the career, in we're not aSomebody that's fit.
(02:36):
Like, in other words, if wehave beliefs like that, we're limiting
ourselves because we're gonna.
We're gonna act based on our beliefs.
So if we think, oh, well, Ican't run three miles, or I.
I don't see any possibility ofa different job or a different path,
then we're going to act basedon that belief, right on that mindset.
(02:57):
And so what we want to do iswe want to go from a fixed mindset
thinking that we're limited bythe world around us.
We're limited by either ourpast or we're limited by the circumstances
around us.
We want to shift from that toa growth mindset, meaning that we
understand and know that wecan change, we can evolve, we can
(03:18):
keep learning.
And if being honest, the onlyway to move forward is to have a
mindset that tells us that weshould always be the student, we
should always be learning.
And I say that because theworld is changing very quickly.
Look at how much AI is nowtied into so many processes and tools
online.
(03:39):
I mean, almost every onlinetool I use for even doing this podcast,
they have now tied in AIelements to them.
So we're going to have toadapt, we're going to have to adjust,
and we're going to have tokeep learning new skills.
So we have to shift to agrowth mindset.
We have to shift from seeingthat there's possibility for our
(04:01):
future, that just because wewere something in the past or identified
as something doesn't mean thatthat defines our future.
We want to understand that wejust want to move towards something
we don't have to.
For instance, let's say thatin the past, you've just struggled
to even take walks daily, right?
Or do any sort of fitness thatwe don't want to, then keep telling
(04:21):
ourselves, like, oh, I'm.
I can't do that.
I'm not fit.
What we want to say is, youknow, I'm a work in progress.
I am making strides to becomemore fit.
Or I've started walking evenfor 10 minutes a day, and I just
want to increase that.
But when we set a goal likethat, we're shifting our language
as we start refining who we'rebecoming in the future, not what
(04:45):
we did or who we were in the past.
Okay?
So that's the first thing wehave to really start understanding
our mindset.
And if you want to read moreabout this, the book Limitless by
Jim Quick is a great one.
Or the book, I will put it inthe show notes.
But the book about the GrowthMindset, which is another really
good book, and I have itsomewhere in my office that's a great
(05:07):
one.
Whether you're.
Whether it's for yourself orsomeone, maybe your children.
Growth Mindset is a great bookbecause it really looks at how, when
we're young, if things are tooeasy for us or we get celebrated
by, like, how smart we are.
The problem is, is when thingsget harder to figure out, we get
(05:28):
harder courses or harderthings in life.
Sometimes we.
We get frustrated, we give up,because things came easy to us before.
But life's all aboutovercoming obstacles.
It's all about figuring outanother way, problem solving.
And so if we have a growthmindset, we realize that the key
to us, to all of us, is justfinding a way forward and then finding
(05:52):
a way to improve something.
Right?
And so that's super important.
All right.
The next thing is the tworeasons why a lot of people don't
make changes in their lives iseither their mindset or they struggle
to be motivated, right.
To take that action.
But what's interesting ismotivation isn't just about wanting
(06:14):
to do it, like feelinginspired to do it.
It's about creating habits and momentum.
And so in his book Limitless,Jim Kwik talks about a strategy called
focus.
Follow one course untilsuccessful to keep us motivated by
focusing on one thing at a time.
And lots of other people talkabout similar ideas.
(06:34):
The book by James Clear calledAtomic Habits, which lots of people
have read that also talksabout this idea that we have to do
one small thing, right, andbuild on it.
In other words, it's like themicrohabits, but you don't go from
never running to decide you'regoing to run a marathon in a week.
(06:58):
In other words, what we wantto do is we want to build up that
momentum, build up a habit ofjust making time to go in, walk,
or jog, right?
And over time, we will buildon that habit.
And so it's the same sort ofidea about having motivation.
We want to, you know, followone course until successful, meaning
(07:21):
that you don't want to startoff with the huge goal like, I want
to run a marathon.
You can know that's the goal,but you have to start off with the
tiniest piece.
I want to run a marathon, butI'm not there yet.
So what I'm going to do is I'mgoing to start committing to, you
know, every day or a coupletimes a week, walking or walk.
Jogging, Right.
And then from there, onceyou've started doing it consistently,
(07:44):
you can Add on to that andbuild on that habit so that eventually
that motivation gets biggerbecause you're being successful in
what you started and you canbuild on that, right?
Which is the action you're taking.
Action.
The next thing is when wedon't do different things, when we're
not growing and learning, ifwe always do the same thing, in other
(08:07):
words, we, our brains arewired to take the easiest, easiest
path.
And so what we need to do iswe need to change things up.
And so, for instance, youmight have heard about this before,
but driving home a new way,you know, working out a different
way, sometimes we need a new challenge.
(08:30):
One because it actually helpswire our brain a little bit different.
It challenges our brain in adifferent way.
This helps us so that we'renot always looking for comfort.
We're not always looking forthe easiest path, because that is
easy.
But it's not helping us grow.
It's not helping us build resilience.
(08:51):
And so those things are goingto help us strengthen our mindset
and have more motivation.
So that's super important.
And it's by shifting ourmindset motivation that we can start
changing our thoughts and ourpatterns, which will help us take
more action.
And Jim Kwik says this, yourmindset is your most powerful tool.
(09:11):
If you can change the way youthink, you can change the way you
live.
So I want to share a couplequestions with you to get you thinking
about, is there somethingholding you back and how can we kind
of get dig into that?
But I will say he also says alot of people know what to do but
don't because of your mindsetand motivation.
(09:32):
So we have to acknowledgethat, that often it's not because
you don't want to take action.
It's because you need to lookat your mindset and then.
Or look at your motivation.
And so you need to askyourself, where do you feel stuck?
Like you're not makingprogress, but you want to.
You know, it could be in your relationships.
(09:52):
It could be in your career,income, your health, energy, you
know, or any other area.
And so one of the other thingthat Jim talked about in an interview
that I was listening to, hesaid, if you fight for limitations,
you get to keep them.
And this is really going backto the idea of having a victim mentality.
(10:13):
And I've shared about this before.
There is a psychiatrist that'swritten a couple books.
She's in her 90s, and she wasactually in the concentration camps
in Germany.
But, you know, she talks about that.
We, we have to start asking Why?
I mean, stop asking why me?
And shift that thinking, right?
That, that mind, mindset orthat belief to what's next.
(10:40):
So that's about this whole thing.
If we get stuck in identifyingwith our limit, our limitations,
our trauma, our pastperformance, right?
Like maybe we.
You did something wrong in the past.
Maybe we're ashamed of something.
If we identify only by whatwe've done already, or being a victim
(11:00):
or holding on to anger orhurt, maybe some of you, you know,
have been left in your, youknow, your spouse has left you, or
you're in a relationship, itgot broken up and you still are hurting
from that.
Well, we can't hold on to the identity.
We have to let go of thelimitations and start asking ourselves
what's next?
(11:20):
Okay, so it gives an example.
If you keep saying the thing,it's not serving you.
So for instance, if somebodysays, I don't have a great memory,
it's just keeping us stuck there.
And if you're not ready to saythe future thing, then what you can
say is, I don't have a greatmemory yet, or I'm working on getting
(11:45):
better at my memory.
So in other words, we have tostart using different language to
describe ourselves or who orwhat we want to be because it's,
it's not going to help us.
Some other things that hetalks about was that procrastination
and self sabotage are both challenges.
Procrastination is amotivation issue and self sabotage
(12:05):
is a mindset issue.
So if we're doing thosethings, we need to look at one of
those two areas.
And I like one of the thingsthat Greg McEwen in effortless talks
about.
He talks about when we feeloverwhelmed by a project or trying
to do something, then we wantto name the first obvious step.
(12:27):
The reason is so many of ussee this big project and we don't
break it down into real small steps.
So what happens is we nevertake action.
So he gives a.
He tells a story that aproductivity expert shared about
April, April Perry.
But basically there's a womanshe's working with who has a room
that's filled with books.
(12:48):
Books everywhere, piles ofbooks, boxes of books, books on top
of furniture.
It's literally books everywhere.
And the woman knew thesolution to getting her books out
of the living room was to buy bookshelves.
But she's just not doing it right.
It seems like she'sprocrastinating or she's self sabotaging
because the books keep sittingthere month after month kind of a
(13:08):
thing.
And so as they walk through,you know, like, what needs to happen
for.
For you to move these books, right?
Get them off of all yourservices, and they kind of walk through
it all.
And so as they do, you know,the obvious first thing was like,
oh, well, if I orderbookshelves, I could put the books
away.
But then when you break thatstep down, she didn't know what size
(13:31):
bookshelves to order, so sheactually said, no, I can't order
bookshelves because I don'tknow what size I would need to measure
the room, right?
Measure what size bookshelves.
And so then the productivityexpert asks her, well, can you go
right now and measure your walls?
And he says, no, because Ican't find a tape measure.
(13:52):
So the challenge started withthe smallest thing, but.
But now they identify herfirst step in the project of getting
her books out of the room andoff the floor and out of piles, which
is, I need to find, borrow, orbuy a tape measure so that I can
take that first fraction ingetting bookshelves.
(14:13):
So, see, this is what happensto so many of us is we start feeling
so overwhelmed by the projector the thing, maybe the work we want
to do on ourselves, maybe it'sa work on our marriage, and we think,
like, we need to fix the wholething or how do we get from here
to finishing the project?
But often it starts withidentifying what is the one thing
(14:36):
we can do right now.
What's that one small, tinyfirst step we can take?
Because the more tiny firststeps we take, it will start building
action and momentum.
And when we do that, ourmindset starts shifting and our motivation
shifts because we start seeingprogress, which gives us that little
(14:57):
hit of dopamine in our brain, right?
It's like I see now.
But in his book, he also says,but more often than not, a step as
tiny as buying tape measureprovides the momentum we need to
take the next step and thenthe next step after that.
Isn't that so good?
But I think what we need to dois reframe.
First of all, what's stoppingus from making progress, right?
(15:21):
Maybe it's in our health.
Maybe we really want to startlifting weights, but we just.
It just keeps not happening.
So we need to get.
We need to figure out what'sbehind that.
Like, is it something stoppingus because we don't have a place
to lift weights, we don't wantto go to a gym either to pay the
money or just.
We don't feel comfortable inthat environment?
Is it because we don't haveweights or Is it because we don't
(15:45):
have a designated area?
In other words, we have tostart getting behind?
Like, what is really stopping us?
Is it that we don't know howto lift weights?
Like you don't even know whatto do with them.
So we need to start askingourselves more questions when we're
stuck or when we feel likethere's something blocking our progress
in some area of our lives.
(16:06):
And then one other thing hetalks about in his book, this is
an effortless.
He says the magic of microbursts.
Microburst is a meteorologicalsurge that causes powerful winds
and storms for a brief butintense period, often just 10 to
15 minutes.
And.
But when he's talking aboutmicroburst in our own life, he says
(16:26):
microburst in April, Perry'svernacular is a 10 minute surge of
focused activity that can havean immediate effect on our essential
project.
It's the little burst ofmotivation and energy we get from
taking that first obvious action.
And from there, your energyand your confidence only builds with
every subsequent action.
And so I just want to give anexample of this.
(16:49):
He says, essential project,remove the clutter from the garage.
The first obvious action forsome people might be find the broom,
sweep out the shed and movethe bikes.
I'm sorry, that first obviousaction is find the broom.
The micro burst is sweep outthe shed and move the bikes into
the shed.
So it's really small, but thenit gives us really quick hit.
(17:11):
Right?
And then one last thing in hisbook that I want to share today,
he talks about the power oftwo and a half seconds.
And he says recentlyneuroscientists, psychologists have
found that the now weexperience last only 2.5 seconds.
He goes on to say about that 21/2 seconds is enough time to shift
(17:33):
our focus, to put the phonedown, to close the browser, to take
a deep breath.
It's enough time to open abook, take out a blank sheet of paper,
lace up our raining shoes, oropen up the junk drawer and fish
out our tape measure.
Right?
But we can also use those 2.5seconds to get caught in nonsense
non essential activities likescrolling, liking something, writing
(17:54):
a quick tweet or things like that.
So we do have to be carefulbecause if we just say, all right,
I'm for just a second, I'mgoing to like take one action.
It's going to move us in theright direction.
If the action is towardssomething we want to do or change
in our lives.
And I don't have it in frontof me.
(18:14):
But Mel Robbins wrote Severalbooks, but one of them is called
the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 habit.
And the whole idea of it isyou can shift your mindset by saying.
By saying that, like, if youdon't feel like putting on your running
shoes, you.
You basically kind of do thatcountdown and then do it right?
(18:35):
Like you're basically givingyourself like a ready, set go.
But they find that 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Right.
There's some psychology behindit that that works.
So whatever it takes to shiftyour thinking and kind of stop you
from whatever you werethinking about, to shift into taking
that one quick action towardswhat you want to have forward progress
(18:58):
or change in.
Okay, so here's two questionsyou can ask yourself.
If.
If I weren't afraid offailing, what would I start doing
today to move closer to thelife that I want to create?
So, you know, pick a category.
Health, money, you know,whatever it might be.
And ask yourself that questionin that context.
(19:20):
You know, is it that youreally want to lose weight?
You know, maybe you want tocommit to moving, you know, 10,000
steps a day?
Well, what is it that'skeeping you from that?
I mean, you might not beafraid of failing, but something
may be keeping you from that.
Is it that you're so busy yourday is booked full, and so then you
(19:40):
need to ask yourself, what canyou do differently?
Is there something you can do differently?
To start taking one tinyaction in that area.
Okay.
The next is, what belief orstory about myself is holding me
back from taking actiontowards my goal and how can I rewrite
it?
I think that's better said.
What believer story aboutmyself is holding me back from taking
(20:02):
action towards an villain, aspecific goal.
Right.
I mean, if it's too broadabout, oh, I just want to make more
money or I want a better life,it might be too broad.
And so write in a specific goal.
Right.
Maybe you want this to have acareer change in the next 12 months,
you know, so write somethingmore specific to that, not so vague.
(20:27):
Okay.
To wrap this up, what we wantto do is if we're finding that we're
stuck or locked in a place inour life, we don't feel like we're
making progress, or maybe wejust feel defeated or whatever it
might be, we need to realizethat the reason maybe we're not able
to move forward, we're notable to get past that roadblock or
take action is because we needto work on our mindset or our motivation.
(20:50):
And some of the books Imentioned that are worth checking
out, if you haven't alreadyare effortless by Greg McKeown, Atomic
Habits by James Clear, andLimitless by Jim Quick.
So those are all three greatbooks to really help you step into
doing the things you want todo, to make the changes in your life
(21:11):
you want to make in whateverarea they're in.
And then I do also want to letyou know that on my website@kristenfitch.com
There is a create a life youlove free workbook that you can download.
But it, it's basically itwalks you through tons of lists that
let you really understand whatit is you want in the different areas
(21:32):
of your life.
So your health, you know, whatis it?
What are your health goals?
What are your personal or yourgoals around your career?
What is it that you want toshift in your mindset?
And so it just has all thesethings and even has like, what, what
do you want to do right?
Like, what are your dreams forthe next 10 years?
(21:53):
So it has a ton of stuff.
It even has like, how can youshift the way you see your body?
And things like that.
But it's, it's a really powerful.
It basically is full of lists,reflections and journal pages and
gratitude pages to help youstep into the future you've always
wanted.
So if that's of interest toyou, head over to KristinFitch.com
go to my freebies page andit's the second section of downloads.
(22:16):
You can grab that and juststart becoming more confident and
clear and exactly who you areand what you want and what is important
to you.
So go grab that.
And you'll also be signed upto be part of my community by joining
my newsletter as well.
And thanks again for listening in.
And if you enjoyed the show,we'd love it if you'd subscribe and
(22:36):
leave us a review and ratingon Apple Podcast or wherever you
listen to podcasts.
And you can check out freebiesand resources we have for you@kristenfitch.com
and if you have ideas for theshow or guests that you'd like to
recommend, I'd love to hearfrom you.
So DM me on Instagramhristenfitch or you can email me
(22:58):
from the website.
Thanks so much.
Until next time, have a great week.
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