Why You Sabotage The Good (And How To Stop)

Have you ever felt yourself pulling away right as things started going well? You finally feel joy, connection, or success—and suddenly you sabotage it, shut down, or spiral. You’re not broken. You’ve just hit your nervous system’s upper limit.

In this episode of the Building Resilience Podcast, Leah Davidson explores why so many of us unconsciously resist the very things we want—and how to shift that. Self-sabotage isn’t a failure of discipline—it’s a brilliant act of protection when our body doesn’t feel safe holding more.

Through nervous system science and real-life examples, Leah walks you through 10 powerful strategies to expand your capacity, calm the fear of goodness, and stop pulling back when it matters most.

This episode will help you:

✔ Understand the root of your self-sabotage (and stop blaming yourself)

✔ Rewire your nervous system to feel safe with ease, success, love, and rest

✔ Recognize the subtle ways your body says “too much”

✔ Use micro-moments and bottom-up tools to build real resilience

✔ Expand your emotional capacity without triggering collapse

This episode is for anyone who’s ready to grow—but wants to do it in a way that’s gentle, embodied, and truly sustainable.

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⏱ Timestamps:

00:00 – Do You Sabotage the Good Stuff?

00:43 – Welcome to Episode 231: What’s Really Behind Resistance

01:12 – Sabotage Is Protection in Disguise

02:01 – The Body’s Response: “Too Fast, Too Far, Too Unfamiliar”

02:49 – The Hidden Beliefs That Keep Us From Expanding

03:48 – Why You Can’t Think Your Way Into Safety

04:30 – Resistance Isn’t a Motivation Problem—It’s a Mismatch

05:37 – Strategy 1: Get Curious With the Part That’s Afraid

06:48 – Strategy 2: Anchor Safety in Small Doses

07:55 – Strategy 3: Let Yourself Hold the Good Just a Beat Longer

08:49 – Strategy 4: Practice Safe Exposure to Joy

10:03 – Strategy 5: Expand Through Creative Expression

10:49 – Strategy 6: Use Identity Work to Reinforce Safety

11:46 – Strategy 7: Regulate Before You Strategize

13:01 – Strategy 8: Slow Down Your Intake

14:25 – Strategy 9: Stay Connected While Growing

15:14 – Strategy 10: Be Gentle With Your Nervous System

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📝 Get my Resilience Journal to support your healing journey:

📌 Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Mental+health+Journal&hidden-keywords=B0DNRSLV9F&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

📌 Amazon CA: https://www.amazon.ca/Mental-Journal-Anxiety-Management-Self-Care/dp/B0DNRSLV9F/ref=sr_1_1

🎓 Nervous System Journaling Club:

https://www.skool.com/nervous-system-journaling-club/about?ref=06e003b61b8148ebbafd3a067f3cc2e1

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📌 Tags:

#Resilience #NervousSystemHealing

#TraumaRecovery #PolyvagalTheory

#EmotionalRegulation #GriefAndHealing

#HealingTools #NervousSystemSupport

#BottomUpRegulation #SafetySequence

#TraumaInformedHealing #AnxietyTools

#HowToHeal #HealingAfterLoss

#CoRegulation #NervousSystemCoach

#LeahDavidson #BuildingResiliencePodcast

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