Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
Why is learning BJJ
so freaking hard?
Now, many people ask thisquestion because the common
refrain is, how long does ittake to get good at BJJ?
People who don't do it are like,well, yeah, if I gave it six
months, would I be good?
The answer is probably not.
But why is that?
There's some of us out there whohave been training two or three
(00:21):
years still feeling like wesuck.
And so I wanted to talk a littlebit more why our expectations
and the complexity of BJJ canmake us feel like really
unmotivated and just be like,man, I'll I'll never get good at
this.
And it's not true, you will, butyour ability to stick at it's
important.
So I've I've got a bit of a bitof a frame for us to be able to
(00:42):
unpack this.
Oh.
Oh, so I I had someone say to methe other day, they always
wanted to train BJJ.
They're like, oh man, they're apower lifter.
Right.
Huge unit, really strong guy,and played footy, and this guy
is a I'd be worried if this guygot any BJJ skill.
He's always coming up and tryingto wrestle me.
(01:03):
Like he always like I go toshake his hand and he tries to
like grab my wrist and shit.
I'm like, bro, don't playaround.
Like, I don't, I don't playwrestle in a powerlifting gym.
There's so many objects where wecould injure ourselves.
There's a hard floor, there'ssteel bars everywhere.
Like, I was like, if we want togo to a mat, man, I'll I'll
choke you unconscious for free,no problem.
(01:23):
But he's always, he always comesup and kind of, you know, he
loves the USC.
Yeah.
He's like, man, I really want todo BJJ.
How long would it take me to getgood?
I was like, bro, you just years.
He's like, nah, no, no, I'mstrong, I'm fit, I could, you
know, and I'm like, I kind of inmy mind, I'm like, fuck, he's
played football for like, Idon't know, five, six years.
(01:44):
He's strong as fuck.
It probably would only take himabout 12 months to destroy
people.
Yeah, but I and I it's not thatI don't want to encourage him to
do it, but I said, man, it wouldtake you at least a year to
really start to feel like reallyconfident.
And he was like, bullshit.
And I and I tried to break itdown for him and he just wasn't
hearing it yet.
(02:04):
And I was like, well, go startand then we'll fucking talk
about it, right?
And so I think the thing is, ifyou for most people who've never
trained BJJ, they don'tunderstand how complex it is.
And so the analogy I wanted tobring today, uh, which is we
kind of touched on it before, isthe idea of learning a language.
Because like when you firststart learning a language,
(02:25):
you're just learning kind ofwords and it's pretty hard to
put it together.
Have you spent a little bit oftime learning a language before,
Joe?
I have.
SPEAKER_00 (02:33):
Yeah, did studied
some uh Spanish, some
Portuguese.
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (02:37):
And look, I I did a
little bit of uh Portuguese
learning myself.
No formal classes, but a bit ofGoogle Translate, writing out.
Uh, our friend Adam Childsactually gave me a couple
lessons in Brazil.
Nice try and help me out.
He is fluenche.
He is fluenche.
I did um I did have a Braziliangirlfriend for a period of time,
and so I she was helping me, shewas assisting me because she was
(02:58):
like a like a down a downsyndrome child.
SPEAKER_00 (03:02):
Just wait, your
Brazilian girlfriend was a down
syndrome child?
SPEAKER_01 (03:05):
No, no, sorry, but
she was treating me.
SPEAKER_00 (03:10):
She the way she
spoke to me was like she was
speaking to a down syndromechild.
Short story.
When I when I went to Brazil tospend time with my my girlfriend
at the time who was from SaoPaulo, yeah, she was always
reluctant to teach mePortuguese.
I I I I was naturallyinquisitive because I liked, you
know, found it fascinating.
Yeah, I'm sure that you did too.
And I would always ask and I'dtry to, and she never really
(03:31):
wanted to tell me much or talkto me in it.
And I'd try and get things goingand it would just get shut down.
And then one day she said to me,She's like, I don't want you to
learn Portuguese because you'regonna come to Brazil and then
you're gonna talk to all theBrazilian girls.
Oh detective mechanism.
SPEAKER_01 (03:46):
How about that?
There you go.
It's a retention strategy.
Yes, keep them dumb.
SPEAKER_00 (03:50):
I'm blaming.
It was like a superpower.
Anyway, go on.
SPEAKER_01 (03:52):
But no, I so I I
just I'm I am not I I I learned
pretty quickly, but what I foundwas when I was learning
Portuguese, there's a bigdifference between learning it
on the page and and trying tohave a conversation.
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (04:06):
Like people speak so
fast, and I'm sure you learn all
the formalities, and then yourealize no one talks in that
way.
It's like two different things.
SPEAKER_01 (04:14):
No, you know, and
and there's such a difference,
and I believe this is true ofPJ.
Like when you are practicingtechniques or situational stuff,
when it comes to live training,your partner's not letting you
anything, they're not evenletting you get grips.
You're like close guard armbardoesn't work all of a sudden.
Hang on, let me establish thecontrols I was given before.
(04:35):
No, that's not fuckinghappening.
So this is where there's a bigdisconnect between talking and
fluency.
Like that's a that's a hugejump.
And and when I've spoken topeople who've learnt um more
than one language, they're like,yeah, it took me, you know.
Generally, people spend timesaturating themselves.
They either live in the countryor they're hearing it every day
(04:57):
or they're they're listening totapes, watching video, uh
watching TV shows in thelanguage.
So there is a immerse yourself.
Yeah, there's a subconsciouslevel where it's it's hitting
you.
But if you're someone who's onlypracticing once or twice a week,
pretty hard to get fluent,right?
So if you try to have aconversation, this is my
mistake.
I tend to, if I find outsomeone's Brazilian, I tend to
(05:19):
try and drop my two or threephrases and they're like, oh
man, and they just start hittingme.
And I'm like, actually, I can't.
I can't, I don't speakPortuguese.
SPEAKER_00 (05:28):
I'm so sorry.
Um, there's that thing where youhave had that conversation
probably close to, I don't know,a thousand times with someone,
which is like, I speak a littlebit of Portuguese.
Oh, did you go there?
Yeah, I went there for a littlewhile, you know, some years ago.
Oh, how'd you like it?
Like, you've got this initialintro convo that you've drilled
fucking heaps.
Oh, yeah.
And then as soon as it crossesoutside of that, you're like, I
(05:50):
got yeah, so it's like, youknow, fala portuguese and porco.
SPEAKER_01 (05:57):
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(06:39):
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But that's the thing.
The the gap for jujitsu betweendoing moves and the fluency of
rolling, putting it together isway harder than individual
situations.
So, oh man, I've drilled thatKimura so many times or whatever
(06:59):
it might be.
And then you try to do a Kimuraon someone who's just thrashing
around, you're like, hang on,this is so much harder.
Being able to switchconversations from where is the
toilet to I've had my walletstolen and I'm trying to catch a
bus or where's the policestation?
Like, it's totally different.
Or asking a girl out to go tothe movies, totally different.
(07:22):
Yeah.
So I believe that part of thereason why we find BJJ so hard
is no one says, hey man, youhaven't even mastered talking
yet.
The fluency is gonna, it's gonnatake a while.
And then they're like, oh, andalso you need to win an argument
with someone.
You two have an argument inPortuguese.
What the fuck?
That's what sparring reallylooks like to me.
(07:44):
So this is my analogy, isbreaking down into kind of
three, it's more complex thanthis, obviously, but if you
can't speak the language, it'llbe hard for you to have a fluent
conversation, which is theexchange of just working kind of
live techniques and and movingaround with somebody who is
fluent and you are not.
That's a it's a veryunsatisfying experience for
(08:05):
someone who's fluent.
SPEAKER_00 (08:06):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (08:08):
And I think this is
why the child, our respective
Brazilian girlfriends, we'relike, oh idiots.
And then, you know, now try andwin an argument in that
language.
Oh my god.
You got no chance, you got nochance.
So if we can relate this back topeople learning BJJ, for us to
put the expectation on ourselvesthat we could one not be
(08:30):
somewhat talkative, somewhattalkative, have a have some kind
of very beginner-levelconversation with someone who's
fluent, yeah, they're milesapart.
And then be like, all right, nowtry and win an argument with
this person.
SPEAKER_00 (08:42):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (08:43):
It's you, you, you,
that's it's an unrealistic
expectation.
And I think because we'veexperienced early success, maybe
in doing something else, wethink it'll be the same for BJJ.
And it's it's a it's a brutalreality check.
SPEAKER_00 (08:57):
Yeah, it's true.
I mean, you think about it too.
Like, I remember, I rememberlike taking notes and studying
tape, like language tapes forPortuguese, and like, you know,
whatever.
They're like, today we're gonnalearn, you know, about um asking
for something at the shop.
And then it's like, uh, youknow, I would like a fucking I
would like a pastry, you know,whatever.
And so you're like, I would likea pastry, how much is that?
(09:19):
The pastry costs, you know, andyou're writing it down, you're
like, man, I know, I know how tosay pastry, I know how to say
how much.
My vocabulary is like the roof.
And you come away from thatlesson, you're like, I fucking
got this shit dialed in.
Yeah, and it's like when yourcoach is like, hey man, it's
your first, like, here's how youdo a kamor, and then you go to
the next class, like, here's howyou do an arm bar, and then it's
like, here's the mount position,and you're like, bro, I'm
(09:40):
dangerous shit dialed in.
You know, Dana White, sign meup.
Yeah, and it's just like becauseyou don't you don't know what
you don't know.
And so you're like, I'm prettysure I know it all.
Yeah, it's like, and it's so,and and so there's a lot of
friction in this time that comeswhere you're starting to grasp
potentially maybe some of whatyou don't know.
(10:00):
Yeah, you know, it's gonna takeyou probably a decade to realize
everything you don't know.
But it's like, but yeah, sothere is, I think despite our
best intentions coming intothings and trying to be
realistic, you almost can't helpbut fool yourself about how
fucking illiterate you are inthis thing in the beginning.
SPEAKER_01 (10:18):
Yeah, and and look,
I I think having a certain
amount of like naivete or likenaivete, all right.
Mark Paulberg Karate.
No, you you're you're a bitnaive, right?
And that's actually good becauseif you actually knew how hard it
was, you'd get totallydispirited and quit.
And some folks do, right?
(10:39):
But I there's levels to that.
Like the reason why I'm saying,you know, we go from just
talking to fluency to toarguing, try and argue with
Joseph Chen.
Like that guy is like a lawyer.
You know, that guy is aprofessional.
You're talking about his jujitsuor you're talking about his
ability to argue?
I'm saying that his jujitsu.
(11:00):
His jujitsu.
Yeah, okay.
So let's not get too too mixedup with the analogy.
There is levels to the game.
So even if you're really good atarguing, even if you're really
good at competing in jujitsu,there is somebody who is so
elite, they can just comethrough and pick your whole game
apart like that.
And that is even moreconfronting, I believe.
Which, you know, it's funny whenyou talk to someone who's never
(11:22):
done jujitsu and they're like,how long does it take to get
good?
You're like, bro, I've beendoing it more than 15 years, and
I still am not that good.
You know, it's hard to conveythat to somebody who's like,
surely you could just get goodin like a year, right?
And and the complexity and thelevels to the game in jujitsu
are so deep and broad.
(11:43):
I don't say this to discourageanyone.
I actually say this to say, youknow what, if you're doing
jujitsu and you've been doing itsix months and you feel like
you're getting better and you'rejust chipping away, keep going.
Like that's just just the willto keep showing up and and and
and keep going and continue tosuck but improve.
That actually I believe is oneof the biggest qualities in what
(12:06):
determines who who issuccessful.
Because like I don't think earlysuccess helps someone
necessarily in BJJ.
Like showing up and justsmashing everybody is won't help
you in two years' time when itgets more complex, more complex,
more complex.
Like just being able to not beput off by how hard it is is is
(12:28):
probably the most key factor inall of that.
Yeah, I'd agree.
There it is, folks.
Uh, it doesn't matter if you'relearning a language or you're
doing BJJ, you just gotta keepat it.