Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Matt (00:28):
In this episode, we talk about values.
What's important to us in life.
And I give you one exercise toquickly work out.
What's important to you.
Uh, in fact, you're going to getthe best coach.
In the world.
To help you if you're stuck in asituation.
(00:50):
With your career or your life.
So stay tuned for that.
Now, some of us don't know ourvalues.
And instead we focus on whatsociety or culture and media has
told us to value.
As Seb Terry shared with me inepisode one
Seb Terry (01:10):
I just think we're told to be so many different
things from a very young age, byour parents, by culture, by
society, by business, by peerpressure, generational trends
and all those things.
And it's, uh, it's very easy andit's forgivable as well.
It's to see people as I was justgoing.
Okay, cool.
And you sort of subscribe to allthe things and that you don't
(01:31):
allow that to influence you andyou end up being a product of
society.
But I think in that, the risk isthat you completely lose
yourself.
Matt (01:40):
You see, there's a difference between thinking what
you should value and what isactually important to you.
And the difference is living alife true to yourself.
An authentic life.
One that is internally aligned.
At the values level, at leastcheck out last week's episode.
(02:00):
To find out how to becomeinternally aligned over six
levels.
It's one of the top five regretsof the dying discovered by
Bronnie ware who's an Australianpalliative care nurse who
interviewed hundreds of peopleat the end of their lives.
So checking in with your valuesevery now and then I would
recommend every three to sixmonths.
(02:22):
There's life can change a lot inthat timeframe.
It's important to ensure thatwhat you're currently doing in
life and what you plan to do.
Is aligned with what you wantand is, and you're true to
yourself.
And it makes decision making awhole lot easier to as Sebel
circle.
do you find it easy to say no?
Seb Terry (02:43):
uh, yeah.
making those decisions comesdown to understanding your
values.
You understand your values,which by the way, always change.
But if you understand yourvalues that current time and an
opportunity comes your way, youcan just quite simply just see
which, value it aligns with andis it your top one, and if so,
go for it.
Matt (03:03):
We often do things and make decisions based on, on
unconscious processes.
So you might be listening tothis podcast right now because
you value inspiration orpersonal development.
For example.
But how many things do you spendyour time?
Doing that you don't enjoy thatyou regret or you don't feel
(03:26):
happy with that is in yourcontrol well, have you ever
watched a movie character dothings that, you know, they
shouldn't be doing?
Or would never want to do, butthey still keep doing them.
Like being a miserable job or anbeing a hopeless relationship.
(03:48):
If they were there in front ofyou.
You would probably tell them.
What are you doing with yourlife?
Quit that job or break it off.
You're both so unhappy.
Maybe you've witnessed friendsdoing things.
That they should be doing, butclearly are unhappy about.
(04:09):
And maybe you've given themadvice.
You seek.
When you're observing otherpeople, particularly characters
in a movie or on TV, it's easierto give advice.
The emotion is with them.
Not with us.
So we think clearly logicallyand give solutions.
That could help the situation.
(04:31):
And chat.
When we ourselves are unhappy,perhaps in a career that's not
working or don't know what to donext with our career or in a
relationship that's not workingor a lifestyle.
There might be leading tounhappiness or damaging our
health.
We act from emotion.
(04:52):
Not logic.
Why do people keep smoking,knowing it's bad for them?
Or being in abusiverelationships or putting up with
meaningless careers.
Habit.
Unconscious processes.
Keeping up with society, thelist goes on.
If we watch that person in amovie.
(05:14):
Free would be shouting at thescreen right so, let me tell you
a little story about how Iwatched a movie of my life and
how it led to my career change.
Who after investing in some realestate myself, I ended up
working with a propertydeveloper as it was a chance for
(05:35):
me to learn how to find andsecure, bigger developments and
deals, which was a way to build.
Long-term wealth and morepassive income.
But I absolutely hated, andthat's not a strong enough word.
I absolutely hated working withthe people that I worked with
and all the values that theystood for.
(05:57):
It was purely for money.
And after a few months, Irealized how lonely and unhappy
I was.
My life really was out ofbalance.
And eventually our became.
Quite depressed.
In fact, I felt lost.
So I decided to hire a coach wasan NLP coach.
(06:20):
Uh, who specialized in careertransition?
And I remember so vividly.
One of the powerful tools thatshe coached me with in
particular.
Made me realize I was not livingas the person I was born to be.
I looked at myself objectivelyas a character in a movie.
(06:43):
This guy, Matt.
I was seeing was hunched over.
At his home office desk.
All alone.
Looking outside into his garden,watching the rain.
And I realized that Matt was asocial, fun and confident guy.
He was using his natural talentsand far from an environment that
(07:06):
made him thrive.
And it was like watching a birdscreaming to get out of a tiny
cage.
It just was not right.
And I had to let him free.
So let's give you thatexperience now thank you for
context in your day, that mightbe something that you recently
(07:29):
or regularly being unhappy in.
Now it could be being in whatmeetings or working in our own
business, perhaps sits evensomething in your personal life.
A moment that you can revisit inyour recent memory.
That is causing inner conflict.
Or unhappiness or stress or someother negative emotion.
(07:52):
Now this situation.
May likely a caravan in thefuture, which is why it's so
important now.
To find solutions from withinfor change.
Now even thinking about thissituation, perhaps.
Lots of thoughts.
Lots of emotions are rising up.
(08:16):
So, if you want to figure outhow to change this situation in
the future.
Or change how you feel about it,which is something that is in
your control.
You may be trying to figure outwhat to do.
Maybe you're feeling stuck.
In what we call first position,the world through your eyes and
(08:37):
experience thing, the world.
Through your emotions throughyour heirs and all the other
senses that you have.
So, what this exercise will helpyou to do is to give you more of
an objective perspective ofwhat's going on in your life so
that you can actually adviseyourself because you know
yourself better than anyoneelse.
(08:59):
And the best way to adviseyourself is to remove emotions.
From your experience or at leastlessen them significantly So you
can gain some clarity.
So, this is what this is allabout.
Now I'm going to guide youthrough around five minutes of a
visualization for you to followand check what insights that you
(09:22):
get from it.
Now I did this exercise.
I changed my career because ofit.
I went traveling because of it.
And both those decisions I haveabsolutely no regrets about.
So really helped me to look atmyself and just see what I was
doing.
That was serving me what I wasdoing.
Wasn't.
(09:43):
And knowing myself, making thechanges that I knew were
important.
So, if you want to participate,you have the choice not to of
course.
And the choice to come out ofthis at any time by taking a
deep breath.
And opening your eyes.
(10:03):
And if you're ready toparticipate now.
You can start to close your eyesAnd take a deep breath in
through the nose.
And out through the mouth.
(10:23):
In through the nose.
And out through the mouth.
In through the nose.
And out through the mouth.
(10:45):
Now I want you to be present.
With what's going on in yourexperience.
Float above your body.
Right now.
And travel into your past.
Until you were that memory.
(11:07):
Of the context in your work orlife?
Where you feel misaligned.
And want change.
Take your time.
If you need to.
And when you observed thatmemory.
I want you to float yourselfinto your body.
(11:30):
In this memory.
As if you're living it.
Right now.
See what you see, hear what youhear and feel what you feel.
So just be present with thisperspective right now.
You're going through thisexperience, how are you feeling?
(11:54):
What are you seeing?
What are you hearing?
What are you telling yourself?
What environments are you inright now?
is there anything you observe?
About yourself through yourexperience.
(12:19):
And now I want you to take onemore.
Deep breath.
And begin to float.
Above your body.
Float up.
So that you can look atyourself.
As a character.
(12:40):
Like watching a movie.
Like a fly on the wall.
An independent observer watchingthis character's life unfold.
Let's call this character at X.
And just to observe.
(13:00):
How acts behaves in thissituation.
How they breathe.
That posture.
Any movements they're making.
What they're doing.
Who is X width.
Everything in X is experience.
(13:22):
From this perspective.
Just observe.
And as this movie plays out,Remember, it's just a movie.
You're just observing acharacter X.
And this character is someonethat you want to help.
(13:48):
Now, what do you notice in X'sexperience that isn't serving
them?
Right now.
What do you notice that isserving them?
Right now.
And knowing X.
And observing acts all theirlife, the type of character that
(14:11):
they are.
And knowing them perhaps as afriend.
What they really value deepdown.
The values that X has themeaning X puts into projects.
The best attributes X has.
(14:32):
Um, what makes acts come alive?
What would you advise X?
To do differently.
Right now.
To get back on track and follow.
A new path that they're alignedwith.
Take a few moments to thinkabout these observations.
(14:57):
Essentially your a coach rightnow.
Observing and guiding acts inthe best way that, you know,
how.
And you can pause this recordingif you like to have more time.
To reflect on theseobservations.
(15:19):
When you ready?
You can float back down fromthis observer position.
And straight into acts.
Yourself.
Now.
In the first person.
And in the present moment.
With these new learnings.
(15:41):
With these valuable insights.
And observations.
And advice from the best coachin the world.
You.
And when you ready.
You can open your eyes.
Take a deep breath.
(16:08):
And just write down.
Some of the observations thatyou made as a coach to yourself.
What could you focus on whataction.
Do you want to take.
That's going to take you towhere you want to be.
And is there anything that youcan do differently?
(16:31):
It might be the way you breatheyour posture.
Maybe your beliefs, maybe it'sthe people you hang out with.
Maybe it's the environmentyou're working in.
There are some things that arecontributing to you being
stopped and there are thosethings.
That.
You know, better than anyoneelse.
Or not serving.
So take a moment to figure outyourself.
(16:54):
Now, when I did this exercise, Irealized I wasn't living by my
values, which were making adifference being social
community.
Adventure.
And then I started noticingopportunities that were aligned
with those values.
For example, I took a job offerthat came my way out of the blue
(17:14):
and I thrived in a new salesrole.
And then after a couple ofyears, I decided to travel as
adventure was as strong value ofmine.
So what values came up for youas you coach yourself?
And what are you going to dodifferently?
This week.
(17:35):
Tomorrow.
Right now.
I hope you enjoy this episode.
Don't forget to subscribe to theburn from within podcast.
And if you felt you got a lot ofvalue out of this.
Want to explore more of yourvalues or what is your authentic
self?
What are some routes to afulfilling career where a
(17:57):
happier lifestyle.
Then feel free to book a free 20minute discovery call with me.
At burn from within.com forwardslash call that C a double L.
Until next time.
Live with passion.
Purpose and balance.
And burn from
In this episode, we talk about values.
What's important to us in life.
And I give you one exercise toquickly work out.
What's important to you.
Uh, in fact, you're going to getthe best coach.
In the world.
To help you if you're stuck in asituation.
(00:50):
With your career or your life.
So stay tuned for that.
Now, some of us don't know ourvalues.
And instead we focus on whatsociety or culture and media has
told us to value.
As Seb Terry shared with me inepisode one
Seb Terry (01:10):
I just think we're told to be so many different
things from a very young age, byour parents, by culture, by
society, by business, by peerpressure, generational trends
and all those things.
And it's, uh, it's very easy andit's forgivable as well.
It's to see people as I was justgoing.
Okay, cool.
And you sort of subscribe to allthe things and that you don't
(01:31):
allow that to influence you andyou end up being a product of
society.
But I think in that, the risk isthat you completely lose
yourself.
Matt (01:40):
You see, there's a difference between thinking what
you should value and what isactually important to you.
And the difference is living alife true to yourself.
An authentic life.
One that is internally aligned.
At the values level, at leastcheck out last week's episode.
(02:00):
To find out how to becomeinternally aligned over six
levels.
It's one of the top five regretsof the dying discovered by
Bronnie ware who's an Australianpalliative care nurse who
interviewed hundreds of peopleat the end of their lives.
So checking in with your valuesevery now and then I would
recommend every three to sixmonths.
(02:22):
There's life can change a lot inthat timeframe.
It's important to ensure thatwhat you're currently doing in
life and what you plan to do.
Is aligned with what you wantand is, and you're true to
yourself.
And it makes decision making awhole lot easier to as Sebel
circle.
do you find it easy to say no?
Seb Terry (02:43):
uh, yeah.
making those decisions comesdown to understanding your
values.
You understand your values,which by the way, always change.
But if you understand yourvalues that current time and an
opportunity comes your way, youcan just quite simply just see
which, value it aligns with andis it your top one, and if so,
go for it.
Matt (03:03):
We often do things and make decisions based on, on
unconscious processes.
So you might be listening tothis podcast right now because
you value inspiration orpersonal development.
For example.
But how many things do you spendyour time?
Doing that you don't enjoy thatyou regret or you don't feel
(03:26):
happy with that is in yourcontrol well, have you ever
watched a movie character dothings that, you know, they
shouldn't be doing?
Or would never want to do, butthey still keep doing them.
Like being a miserable job or anbeing a hopeless relationship.
(03:48):
If they were there in front ofyou.
You would probably tell them.
What are you doing with yourlife?
Quit that job or break it off.
You're both so unhappy.
Maybe you've witnessed friendsdoing things.
That they should be doing, butclearly are unhappy about.
(04:09):
And maybe you've given themadvice.
You seek.
When you're observing otherpeople, particularly characters
in a movie or on TV, it's easierto give advice.
The emotion is with them.
Not with us.
So we think clearly logicallyand give solutions.
That could help the situation.
(04:31):
And chat.
When we ourselves are unhappy,perhaps in a career that's not
working or don't know what to donext with our career or in a
relationship that's not workingor a lifestyle.
There might be leading tounhappiness or damaging our
health.
We act from emotion.
(04:52):
Not logic.
Why do people keep smoking,knowing it's bad for them?
Or being in abusiverelationships or putting up with
meaningless careers.
Habit.
Unconscious processes.
Keeping up with society, thelist goes on.
If we watch that person in amovie.
(05:14):
Free would be shouting at thescreen right so, let me tell you
a little story about how Iwatched a movie of my life and
how it led to my career change.
Who after investing in some realestate myself, I ended up
working with a propertydeveloper as it was a chance for
(05:35):
me to learn how to find andsecure, bigger developments and
deals, which was a way to build.
Long-term wealth and morepassive income.
But I absolutely hated, andthat's not a strong enough word.
I absolutely hated working withthe people that I worked with
and all the values that theystood for.
(05:57):
It was purely for money.
And after a few months, Irealized how lonely and unhappy
I was.
My life really was out ofbalance.
And eventually our became.
Quite depressed.
In fact, I felt lost.
So I decided to hire a coach wasan NLP coach.
(06:20):
Uh, who specialized in careertransition?
And I remember so vividly.
One of the powerful tools thatshe coached me with in
particular.
Made me realize I was not livingas the person I was born to be.
I looked at myself objectivelyas a character in a movie.
(06:43):
This guy, Matt.
I was seeing was hunched over.
At his home office desk.
All alone.
Looking outside into his garden,watching the rain.
And I realized that Matt was asocial, fun and confident guy.
He was using his natural talentsand far from an environment that
(07:06):
made him thrive.
And it was like watching a birdscreaming to get out of a tiny
cage.
It just was not right.
And I had to let him free.
So let's give you thatexperience now thank you for
context in your day, that mightbe something that you recently
(07:29):
or regularly being unhappy in.
Now it could be being in whatmeetings or working in our own
business, perhaps sits evensomething in your personal life.
A moment that you can revisit inyour recent memory.
That is causing inner conflict.
Or unhappiness or stress or someother negative emotion.
(07:52):
Now this situation.
May likely a caravan in thefuture, which is why it's so
important now.
To find solutions from withinfor change.
Now even thinking about thissituation, perhaps.
Lots of thoughts.
Lots of emotions are rising up.
(08:16):
So, if you want to figure outhow to change this situation in
the future.
Or change how you feel about it,which is something that is in
your control.
You may be trying to figure outwhat to do.
Maybe you're feeling stuck.
In what we call first position,the world through your eyes and
(08:37):
experience thing, the world.
Through your emotions throughyour heirs and all the other
senses that you have.
So, what this exercise will helpyou to do is to give you more of
an objective perspective ofwhat's going on in your life so
that you can actually adviseyourself because you know
yourself better than anyoneelse.
(08:59):
And the best way to adviseyourself is to remove emotions.
From your experience or at leastlessen them significantly So you
can gain some clarity.
So, this is what this is allabout.
Now I'm going to guide youthrough around five minutes of a
visualization for you to followand check what insights that you
(09:22):
get from it.
Now I did this exercise.
I changed my career because ofit.
I went traveling because of it.
And both those decisions I haveabsolutely no regrets about.
So really helped me to look atmyself and just see what I was
doing.
That was serving me what I wasdoing.
Wasn't.
(09:43):
And knowing myself, making thechanges that I knew were
important.
So, if you want to participate,you have the choice not to of
course.
And the choice to come out ofthis at any time by taking a
deep breath.
And opening your eyes.
(10:03):
And if you're ready toparticipate now.
You can start to close your eyesAnd take a deep breath in
through the nose.
And out through the mouth.
(10:23):
In through the nose.
And out through the mouth.
In through the nose.
And out through the mouth.
(10:45):
Now I want you to be present.
With what's going on in yourexperience.
Float above your body.
Right now.
And travel into your past.
Until you were that memory.
(11:07):
Of the context in your work orlife?
Where you feel misaligned.
And want change.
Take your time.
If you need to.
And when you observed thatmemory.
I want you to float yourselfinto your body.
(11:30):
In this memory.
As if you're living it.
Right now.
See what you see, hear what youhear and feel what you feel.
So just be present with thisperspective right now.
You're going through thisexperience, how are you feeling?
(11:54):
What are you seeing?
What are you hearing?
What are you telling yourself?
What environments are you inright now?
is there anything you observe?
About yourself through yourexperience.
(12:19):
And now I want you to take onemore.
Deep breath.
And begin to float.
Above your body.
Float up.
So that you can look atyourself.
As a character.
(12:40):
Like watching a movie.
Like a fly on the wall.
An independent observer watchingthis character's life unfold.
Let's call this character at X.
And just to observe.
(13:00):
How acts behaves in thissituation.
How they breathe.
That posture.
Any movements they're making.
What they're doing.
Who is X width.
Everything in X is experience.
(13:22):
From this perspective.
Just observe.
And as this movie plays out,Remember, it's just a movie.
You're just observing acharacter X.
And this character is someonethat you want to help.
(13:48):
Now, what do you notice in X'sexperience that isn't serving
them?
Right now.
What do you notice that isserving them?
Right now.
And knowing X.
And observing acts all theirlife, the type of character that
(14:11):
they are.
And knowing them perhaps as afriend.
What they really value deepdown.
The values that X has themeaning X puts into projects.
The best attributes X has.
(14:32):
Um, what makes acts come alive?
What would you advise X?
To do differently.
Right now.
To get back on track and follow.
A new path that they're alignedwith.
Take a few moments to thinkabout these observations.
(14:57):
Essentially your a coach rightnow.
Observing and guiding acts inthe best way that, you know,
how.
And you can pause this recordingif you like to have more time.
To reflect on theseobservations.
(15:19):
When you ready?
You can float back down fromthis observer position.
And straight into acts.
Yourself.
Now.
In the first person.
And in the present moment.
With these new learnings.
(15:41):
With these valuable insights.
And observations.
And advice from the best coachin the world.
You.
And when you ready.
You can open your eyes.
Take a deep breath.
(16:08):
And just write down.
Some of the observations thatyou made as a coach to yourself.
What could you focus on whataction.
Do you want to take.
That's going to take you towhere you want to be.
And is there anything that youcan do differently?
(16:31):
It might be the way you breatheyour posture.
Maybe your beliefs, maybe it'sthe people you hang out with.
Maybe it's the environmentyou're working in.
There are some things that arecontributing to you being
stopped and there are thosethings.
That.
You know, better than anyoneelse.
Or not serving.
So take a moment to figure outyourself.
(16:54):
Now, when I did this exercise, Irealized I wasn't living by my
values, which were making adifference being social
community.
Adventure.
And then I started noticingopportunities that were aligned
with those values.
For example, I took a job offerthat came my way out of the blue
(17:14):
and I thrived in a new salesrole.
And then after a couple ofyears, I decided to travel as
adventure was as strong value ofmine.
So what values came up for youas you coach yourself?
And what are you going to dodifferently?
This week.
(17:35):
Tomorrow.
Right now.
I hope you enjoy this episode.
Don't forget to subscribe to theburn from within podcast.
And if you felt you got a lot ofvalue out of this.
Want to explore more of yourvalues or what is your authentic
self?
What are some routes to afulfilling career where a
(17:57):
happier lifestyle.
Then feel free to book a free 20minute discovery call with me.
At burn from within.com forwardslash call that C a double L.
Until next time.
Live with passion.
Purpose and balance.
And burn from
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