February 5, 2021 • 50 mins
On this week’s episode, I have Damon Cart, who has a huge career and life turnaround story. Only a few years ago Damon suffered from depression running his own life insurance business as a State Farm agent while his marriage also broke down.
Looking for ways to relieve his depression, he found NLP and began a tremendous journey of self discovery over several years training with some of the world’s most renowned NLP Trainers including Robert Dilts and Steve Andreas. He’s now burning from within, recently happily married to the love of his life, fulfilling his dream of being able to travel while running his business and now training and transforming individuals rapidly with some of the most powerful models that have changed his own life, including changing your own self-concept.
. In this episode, we discuss:
- Spotting signals in life that you are on the wrong career path
- Damon’s experience of depression from spending all day in a business he hated
- Lifting depression in one hour with NLP versus over a year in traditional therapy
- Finding an interest that developed into a passion that became a business
- Finally being able to make tough but congruent life decisions by shifting limiting beliefs
- The importance of building your life from your own values not ones imposed by others
- The self concept model and transforming your highest values into a quality of who you are
- What’s the one thing that’s made Damon Cart burn from within?
Resources:
- Take the Career Assessment right now from Damon’s Self Concept Research Group here
- Steve Andreas’ book, Transforming Yourself, about his self-concept model, now rolling out across the world by Damon Cart and his business partner
- Hundreds of videos about NLP on Damon Cart’s highly-popular YouTube channel here
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (00:28):
On this week's episode, I have Damon
Cart who has a huge career andlife turnaround story.
Only a few years ago, Damonsuffered from depression,
running his own life insurancebusiness as a state farm agent.
While his marriage also brokedown.
Looking for ways to relieve hisdepression.
(00:49):
He found NLP and began atremendous journey of
self-discovery over severalyears.
Training with some of theworld's most renowned NLP
trainers, including Robert Diltsand Steve Andreas.
He's now burning from within.
Recently, happily married to thelove of his life, fulfilling his
dream of being able to travelwhile running his business and
(01:12):
now training and transformingindividuals rapidly with some of
the most powerful models thathave changed his own life,
including changing your own.
Self-concept.
In this episode, we discussspotting signals in life that
you're on the wrong career path.
Damon's experience of depressionfor him spending all day in a
(01:35):
business.
He hated.
Lifting depression in one hourwith NLP versus over a year in
traditional therapy.
Finding an interest thatdeveloped into a passion that
became a business.
Finally being able to make toughbook, congruent life decisions
by shifting limiting beliefs.
(01:57):
The importance of building yourlife.
From your own values, not onesimposed by others.
The self-concept model andtransforming your highest values
into a quality of who you are.
And what's the one thing that'smade Damon cart burn from
within.
The full show notes and videosof other interviews are
(02:20):
available@bonefromwithin.comforward slash interviews.
So listen all the way through.
And enjoy.
I took notice of one of Damon'srecent posts.
It was actually a few days agoon Facebook where he said, One
of the best decisions I evermade.
And then there's a memory fromtwo years ago where it said
today, I'm no longer a statefarm agent.
(02:42):
11 years ago, I began trainingto become an agent.
I opened my agency in September28, 2008 during the height of
the financial crisis andrealized very quickly that
insurance wasn't for me, but itwas too late to turn back.
For five long and hard years.
In spite of myself, I built asuccessful business.
I spent the next five and he iscreating another business that
(03:03):
I'm very passionate about andthat I enjoy to the point that
it doesn't feel like work.
And for this podcast and forwhat this show's all about, I
was like, wow.
Yeah, Damon is amazing, like aMaestro of NLP, which is another
passion of mine.
But to be able to share hiscareer change story I thought it
(03:25):
was going to be just superuseful for you guys.
And so Damon, welcome to theshow.
Thank you for being here.
Damon Cart (03:32):
Thank you.
I really appreciate it.
And it's interesting to me thatpeople find this interesting.
And, but when I think about it,when I felt like I was very much
trapped, which many, probablyperhaps many of your listeners
might be feeling right nowwhere.
They maybe don't, they're not ina solid career yet because they
don't know what career they wantto be in, or they are in a
(03:53):
career and they're not happy andthey'd rather be in something
else.
I've been there and I rememberthinking to myself, if I could
just solve this problem, likelife would be so much better.
And the truth is that yes,indeed.
When you solve this problem,life can be so much better.
Yeah, I was kinda surprised thatpeople were interested in that
post.
I really do appreciate youreaching out seeing that there
was something interesting thereand wanting to talk about it.
(04:15):
Yeah,
Matt Garrow-Fisher (04:15):
sure.
And let's go straight back, butit back in your timeline too
when you were.
When you are unhappy, actually.
And I think a lot of people canrelate to this when you are
unhappy realizing that youchosen like you said, in your
post, the wrong career, but, andyou stuck it out, you made it a
successful business.
(04:36):
How did you know that it was thewrong path for you?
Damon Cart (04:41):
I'll give you the exact moment that it just it
was, it struck me very hard, butI ignored it because I thought,
no, I'm already into this.
I'm gonna I'll fit myself intothis role.
'cause I want it so bad.
I wanted the freedom of havingmy own business.
I hadn't had my own business upuntil that point.
And so I wanted that freedom sobad that I was like, okay, I'll
do whatever.
(05:02):
And the reason why I choseinsurance was because that's
what my father still doesactually.
And he does have a great set upfor himself.
He has, I don't know, five orsix employees.
They run the business, he can goand do pretty much whatever he
wants whenever he wants.
And he does very well.
I go to his financial aid.
So I had just had my first childand my daughter and I was living
(05:23):
in Los Angeles at the time.
And I thought, okay I'm going toshelve my dreams of becoming a
writer and a filmmaker becausenow I have to provide for my
family.
And having kids will make you dothose things.
You started, you get reallyserious about life.
And so there was a lot of truthin that, but the only thing that
I thought to go to, to buy myfreedom list of the create.
(05:44):
A business like my dad had done,because that was the closest
reference point that I had verydifferent though.
But I remember I was having togo and buy suits to begin my
training with state farm.
They train you as an agent forsix to eight months.
And you actually have to show uplike fully dressed and like
you're ready to go veryprofessional.
And I had never worn a suit,even though I had an office job
(06:06):
in Los Angeles, I'd never worn asuit to work before.
And so I start trying on suitsand I was really liking the
suits and I was getting into it.
And I remember just turning andlooking at myself in the mirror
with a suit on.
And there was just somethingthat struck me very hard that
said, this is not, you.
And I re I was like, stunned.
And then I was just like, okay,wipe that away.
(06:27):
This is me, I gotta, I got to goforward with it.
And so I did.
And then every step of the way,like I just wasn't enjoying it.
I wasn't as I finally did openmy office after my training and
everything, I just, it wasreally felt like the resistance
was building the further anddeeper I went into this.
And I think the second time thatI really got struck between the
eyes.
Was so I'm a huge fan of thewriter, Henry Miller and read
(06:50):
probably most of his books justdeeply passionate.
I love his story too, how hejust gave up on all careers and
decided to just write full-timeand just figure it out and any
move to Paris, and I love totravel too, and I love Paris.
And but he never overlyromanticized these things, he
was willing to tell the truthabout it all.
It's about two years into myagency and I decide that I want
(07:13):
to personalize my office more.
I want to make it more mebecause that was what felt was
really missing.
It was like, I'm not reallydoing what I love doing.
And so instead of trying to playthis role, maybe I can try to
make the role adjust to me.
And so I started buying thingslike movie posters, and then I
wanted to buy a poster of HenryMiller.
And I'm just like, I don'treally seen a poster of Henry
Miller, but let me go looking.
(07:34):
And on I couldn't really findmuch.
And finally I found one and itwas a of him at a big surf
where, which is where he hadlived for a while.
And some of the greatestAmerican writers have either
lived there or spend time there,like Hunter S Thompson, Jack
Kerouac.
But anyway, so I find thisposter and it's not like Amazon,
it's not like you just buy itand go, I couldn't even figure
out how to buy it.
(07:54):
And, but I wanted it.
And so I, I just sent a messageon the contact and I said, Hey,
how do I buy this poster?
And somebody responded by emailand said you can just send me a
check and I'll send you theposter.
And it was signed Val Miller.
And I was like, Whoa, that'sthat's Henry Miller's daughter.
(08:14):
And I wasn't sure that I waslike this way, am I really
talking with Henry Miller'sdaughter and or emailing?
And then, so I emailed her backand started trying to work out
the details.
And then she says, you knowwhat?
I noticed that you're in SantaCruz.
Cause in my email signature saidSanta Cruz.
She's I'm in Monterrey, which isnot far from Santa Cruz.
She was like, I'm actuallycoming up to Santa Cruz next
week.
How about I just bring you theposter?
(08:35):
Would you want that?
And I was like, Yeah.
Yeah.
I want to, I would love for youto bring me this poster Henry
Miller's daughter, Henry Millerdied in, I don't know, 84, some
of us are like, this would bethe closest thing to ever
meeting Henry Miller himself.
So sure enough, she shows up andshe looks enough like her father
and I'm just like really excitedand she comes into my office and
I just said, Hey, I just want tomake sure are you Henry Miller's
(08:57):
daughter?
And she says, yeah, And I said,this is such a pleasure for me
to meet you.
I said, your father is writing,changed my life.
And she looks at me and it wasabout 32 years old at the time
she looks at me and she goesreally?
And I was like, yeah.
And she steps back and she goes,and you're so young.
And I was like, I don't knowwhat, I don't know what that
really means.
Okay, sure.
(09:18):
I'll be young.
And then she says, she sits backand she looks me up and down and
she goes, yeah, no, if dad werehere, he would tell you to quit
your job.
I remember just that struck meagain between the eyes.
And I was like, I know that'sexactly what Henry Miller would
tell me.
And I was like, I don't knowwhat to do with that.
I've got babies to feed.
(09:38):
It felt like the weight of theworld was on my shoulders at
that point.
That's when the business was notdoing well.
And I was not happy and I hadjust come out of a depression.
In fact I had suffered fromdepression not, let's say as
partly a result of the businessdoing, spending most of your
days doing something you don'tenjoy.
You, you ride that line withdepression.
There were other things going onthough, but I just remember that
(10:00):
her voice just rang in my earsfor the longest time.
And I just kinda knew thatsomehow this was going to come
out that, I couldn't run fromthis.
And no amount of money that Icould make in a successful
business that I hate that Ireally did not like was never
going to fill that void.
And so those were two momentsthat I kinda, had to take pause
and realize that, I didn'tlisten to it as well as I should
(10:22):
have at the time.
And it wasn't until later whenthings exploded on me that I
really realized, okay, I have todo something different.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (10:30):
What, what made her say that?
What made her say?
I think you should.
I shouldn't be in that career.
Damon Cart (10:39):
Yeah.
I never said I was an expiringwriter.
I never said I was an aspiringartist.
She's obviously she knows she'sin a state farm office.
She knows she's in an insuranceoffice.
She's looking at a guy who sellsinsurance.
And she just said, if dad werehere, she would tell you to
quit.
And yeah, there was no promptingfor that other than, yeah, just
me telling her that her father'swriting changed my life,
(10:59):
somebody is writing can changeyour life and you're not even
interested at all in being anartist or a writer.
But I think there was somethingabout that made her connect dots
and said, Oh okay if you're thatkind of person, this is what my
father would advise you to do.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (11:14):
Wow.
That's that's pretty insaneintuition from her actually, and
makes me think maybe we're in asimulated reality who knows it's
like, or what's something else.
There's some higher power therepotentially.
And so that kind of started theball rolling of okay, that's
planted a seed of, maybe Ishould be doing something else.
(11:36):
What happens next?
In terms of the steps you tookto actually think, okay, I'm
going to do something next.
Damon Cart (11:45):
I had NLP, one of those things too, that seems,
like you're talking about asimulation are, maybe it's
synchronicity and LP had keptshowing up in my life.
And again, that was like thecalling that was knocking on my
door.
And I kept not listening to it.
And so the first time Iexperienced depression was right
after I graduated college.
(12:05):
I was still living in newOrleans at the time.
And a professor of mine who hadtaught the philosophy of
psychology was the name of theclass that I attended.
At the end, he taught us someNLP and he showed us all these
other modalities, these othertherapies.
And he said, okay, now I'm goingto bring out the mother of the
mall.
And so he shows us NLP and I waslike, wow, this is fascinating
stuff.
And I really enjoyed it.
And then after that it wasabout, I don't know, two years
(12:27):
later I was out of college.
I was out of school for thefirst time.
Since I was like three or fouryears old, cause I went to
school non-stop through, allthrough the years.
And I fell into depression beingout of school for the first
time, having not having muchdirection, it was right after
nine 11.
That whole experience justwatching that happen on TV over
and over gave me probably PTSD.
(12:48):
And I was just, there was someother things that had happened
where I was just like.
Didn't know what to do anddidn't want to leave my home.
And I fell into depression.
So I reached out to my professorand I said, Hey, I don't have
health insurance.
So I can, again, I don't have a,I can't afford therapy, but I
believe you can help me.
And he said, yeah, come on in.
He said, I don't need yourmoney.
But every time you come to meyou need to dedicate some time
(13:10):
to, or donate some time tocommunity service or you need to
give money to community service.
He's I don't need your money,but I don't believe in a free
service.
So you need to do that.
I need you to commit to that.
And I said sure.
He said, okay, come back nextweek, came back next week.
And in one session, one, onehour session.
The depression was over.
I walked out of there and I waslike, is this real?
(13:31):
I was, had been suffering formonths and suddenly I'm looking
around at everything seemsgreat.
And everything's normal.
I'm not suffering anymore.
And I remember just having tosit, I was at the campus cause
it was at his office.
I remember just having to sitdown on a bench and just like
what just happened in there.
And it was so bizarre.
That it just lifted that fast.
(13:51):
And I remember thinking tomyself, I really got to learn
this NLP stuff at some point.
So we jumped forward.
Now I'm living in Santa Cruz.
I'm depressed becauseeverything's not the major
things in my life are notworking out my wife at the time.
Ex-wife now.
She's a therapist and she said,you need help.
You.
You're not.
I can tell.
And I remember thinking tomyself, my first knee jerk
(14:13):
reaction was to say no, I'mfine.
And then I was like, no, she'sright.
I'm really not.
And I haven't even beenrecognizing it.
That's how much of a inside of abubble I've been.
And so I go to, I find atherapist now I have health
insurance.
I go to a traditional therapistand it takes a year for me to
come out of the depression.
And I remember thinking this isone year versus NLP, one
session.
(14:34):
And I, I don't want to setthings up for NLP that like
everything happens in just onesession and it'll be as known
for working rapidly.
But that's not going to alwayshappen in one session.
Don't want to, set up other NLPcoaches, like people are coming
to them now and say, Hey, thisguy, on this podcast that you
should be doing this in onesession now.
It's not always like that.
But it was very traditionalpsychotherapy.
(14:55):
He was an older therapist and itgot to a point where after a
year I was feeling really good.
And when I'd go to see him, Iwould feel worse because he only
knew how to get you out of thehole, but he still would want to
discuss your problems and thingsthat you couldn't control.
And it's this isn't helping.
And it was at that point that Irealized I needed to do
(15:15):
something to maintain my mentalhealth.
Just like you would exercise andeat right.
To maintain your physicalhealth.
I just knew that if it didn't dosomething different, I was going
to end up right back in hisoffice.
But I also knew that I needed tomove on.
It was time to stop seeing him.
And was moving to here to SantaCruz.
That's when I was researchingthe market and I was just trying
to learn more and more aboutSanta Cruz, I learned that NLP
(15:37):
had started here.
And again, that's that wholesynchronicity thing.
And what I first did was I hiredan NLP coach and I hired her to
help me solve the problems in mybusiness and to help me maintain
my mental health.
And so she came in and And Ijust drove the woman crazy
because as we were, doing thesessions, I kept wanting to know
what she was doing.
(15:58):
And so I would stop her and say,okay what does that mean?
Or why did you say it that way?
Or, and this just drove her nutsand it would drive me nuts as a
coach, too.
It's I'm either coaching you orI'm teaching you.
They're not the same thing.
We've got to do one or theother.
And about a month after about amonth that she finally just
said, look, you just need to godo the training.
You're obviously interested.
Just go do it.
And this was difficult for mebecause I wasn't doing well in
(16:20):
my business.
And I would have to put this ona credit card and I would have
to justify it to my wife, likewhy I was taking two and a half
weeks out of.
Do out of work to go up to thecampus and do this training.
And even my father was sayinglike, don't do this, don't do
this.
You need to be in your office.
And I was like, I've been doingthe office thing for a few years
(16:42):
now and it's just really notworking.
So I convinced myself I wasdoing it for my business, but
deep down, I was really doing itfor me.
I went to that first training,that first practitioner
training, and it was like, Yeah,I knew for sure it was a calling
and I didn't know what yet.
I think to myself, I wanted tobe an NLP teacher.
I didn't think I wanted to be anNLP coach, but I knew NLP was
going to be a lifelong practice.
(17:04):
And I just felt that it was an Idon't know.
It just, it felt like putting ona glove that just fits so, so
well.
And so I was thinking, okay,next year I'm definitely coming
back.
Whenever they have the masterpractitioner, I'll come back
around and do it then.
But that wasn't enough for me.
After about a week after thattraining, I was like I
experienced what I call NLPwithdrawal.
(17:25):
I was like, I gotta get intoanother NLP training.
So I found another ends in a NLPInstitute up in San Francisco
and I did their practitionertraining.
And then they were holding ahypnosis training after that.
And I was like, okay I've got todo that.
And so at the same time, I hadan LP practice group that I had
started right before I did myfirst training because I was
trying to learn NLP from books.
And that's the other thing too.
People are like I tell peoplestart an NLP practice group and
(17:47):
they're like I only have onetraining or only have two
trainings.
I'm not, a skilled as you are aknowledgeable as you are.
As I started one when I had notraining, I was just like, I
wanted to practice what I wasreading in the books.
Was really utilizing that afterI started doing the training and
so I was practicing every day.
I had a regular practice part inour practice weekly with, I just
could not get enough of thisstuff.
(18:07):
I would show up with my books,to my insurance.
Office.
And when I wasn't meeting withclients, I'd whip up my books
and I would start studyingagain.
But I was still, I was notthinking of I wanted to make a
career out of this or that Iwanted to teach or coach.
Yeah,
Matt Garrow-Fisher (18:22):
it was definitely a passion at that
point.
Damon Cart (18:24):
Exactly.
And that's really what Irecommend when people say I want
to start taking NLP trainingsand I want to be a coach and I
want to be a teacher.
What I tell them is just putthat aside for now.
Not saying that you won't beone, just put it aside for now
and just dive in and just reallyenjoy it and have fun with it.
And if.
All the skills and all the otherthings will come along with
that.
If you're having a good time andyou're enjoying it.
(18:45):
So the summer comes, the nextsummer comes back around.
I had already paid, I don'tknow, put down a deposit on the
master practitioner course, andsome other things started to
happen that just was makingthings a lot harder.
So my marriage was terrible atthis point.
I had just had knee surgery, soI was on crutches and the
university of California atSanta Cruz.
(19:06):
Is the most on handicap friendlyor most unfriendly to handicap
people, as you can imagine, it'sit's all these Hills.
They don't have a lot of ramps.
And so I'm on crutches.
It was going to be verydifficult for me to get through
there and that was going to beon crutches for at least a week.
And then my landlord decided tosell the house.
So they were like, Hey, you guysgot to get out.
(19:27):
And then my wife was putting alot of pressure on me at the
time.
She was like, what?
You have no business steppingoutside of this office with this
business, not doing well.
And you on crutches and, wecould use that money for
something else.
I was just on and on.
So I was this close.
So just bowing out and taking mydeposit bag and my practice
partner at the time, I told themall this and I was trying to
(19:49):
like, get some, I don't know,somebody to tell me like, yeah,
Damon, I think you're right.
You just need to not do thistraining.
He said the exact opposite.
And he said because of all thosethings, I think you really need
to take this training.
And as soon as he said that, Iwas like, you know what?
You're right.
This is what I'm going throughright now is crazy, but things
will always be crazy.
I need to take this time out.
I need to do this for myself andI need to go.
(20:11):
And it was really good that Idid.
It was the master practitionerreally focused on belief change.
And I was carrying so manyreally limiting beliefs about
money limiting beliefs abouthappiness and what I deserved
and what I didn't deserve.
And during that training justgot all busted up.
And I remember thinking tomyself and started telling
(20:32):
people who were close to me inthe chorus.
I was like, I just have thisvery strange feeling that I'm
going to disappoint people wholove me.
And I then went to Robert Diltsand he said let me tell you a
story.
And he recounted the story abouthow he ended up leaving his wife
for the woman who he's marriedto now.
And I remember thinking tomyself, what am I?
He told me that story, so nowit's an interesting story, but I
don't think it applies to me.
(20:54):
And a few days later is when Irealized I needed to get a
divorce, like it was not, mymarriage was not going to work.
And it was the first time I wasable to fully admit to myself
that this business that I'vebeen doing this insurance
business, it was not it's timewas limited.
And I remember walking in thatday to talk to my employees and
our sat them down.
(21:14):
I sat them down and I said,okay, I got to tell everyone
something.
And I said, look, my heart isnot in this.
It never really has.
It's not something that I'm, Idon't know how much longer I'm
going to do this.
And I thought I was going to getthis sort of like shock and
scared look, because I'mbasically saying, I don't know
how much longer you're going tohave a job, but they got, they
all looked relieved.
And I was like, what?
And they said, Damon, we'veknown this ever since we started
(21:37):
working for you.
It was like, sorta, likeeverybody else knew it, but me,
cause I was in denial about it.
And so it was like, okay, that'sinteresting.
And then I decided, okay, that'swhen I was going to become a
coach and I'm going to become ateacher and I'm going to use
this business to fuel that I'mgoing to build this business up
so that I can step out of it andtake the time to build up the
(21:58):
other business, which thenbecame its own journey.
But that was really the turningpoint.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (22:04):
Yeah.
It sounds like you're in abubble of your own reality.
And you couldn't see outsidethat bubble, the clarity of what
was obvious to others how didyou get out of that bubble How
did you arrive at that pointwhere you're like, you know
what, I am going to get adivorce, you know what, I'm
going to quit state farm whatwas it that gave you that
(22:25):
clarity?
Damon Cart (22:27):
No, I wasn't thinking to myself, okay, I'm
going to do this next exerciseand I'm going to focus it on my
marriage.
Actually I think the thing thatI was most focused on was money.
I felt like it was somethingthat had always alluded me.
The more I tried to make it, themore it seemed to move away from
me.
And I remember doing a process.
I think it was called the TetraLima, which is a Zen, I believe
(22:47):
a Zen concept.
That Robert had taken andcreated a process out of.
And I started off with this ideathat you start off with one
polarity of the belief, whichis, here's the belief.
And then you realize actuallythere's there's, it's opposite
it's opposite pole.
And then you go through thisprocess of recognizing well,
okay what if both of thesethings are true at the same
time, even though they'recontradictory and then would
(23:10):
have none of that, neither ofthem are true at the same time.
And as you explore all thesedifferent points, Then you come
back to now understanding all ofthis.
And I remember, and then, sothen you state the belief that
you have now.
And so the beliefs that Istarted off with was, is I'm
terrible at, with money.
By the time I finished it, I waslike, wait a minute.
I'm not terrible with money.
I'm actually really good withmoney.
I always have been really goodwith money.
(23:31):
I've always been frugal.
I know how to save and it waslike, so then that I remember
that day, the rest of her for 24hours, I w I was, my new
information was just slamminginto my head about how I had
managed money and what hadinfluenced me to manage that
money.
I had taken out some reallyexpensive life insurance
policies that just were not likeI remember asking myself what I
(23:53):
recommend my own clients takeout these huge policies with the
amount of money.
What my income is.
I was like, no, I wouldn't evenadvise my clients to do this.
So why would I do this?
Life?
Insurance is important.
I needed it.
Just not these really likeCadillac policies.
It didn't make sense.
So I was like, okay okay go,cancel those, convert them to
term policies, and so I got themoney out of that, which got me
(24:14):
out of out of debt some debtthat I had, and then my expenses
were lower and there was allthese things.
I just, all these ideas.
I was like, how did I not seethis before it was in plain
sight the whole time, but it, sothat process really helped me
break out of that sort of the,those restrictions.
Another thing that happened wasreimprinting Robert has a rubber
didn't create reimprinting, buthe created a certain type of
(24:34):
reimprinting.
He added a piece to it that Ithink is really important.
Where you also give resources tothe other people who were
involved in the, in your imprintas it happened.
And that was really intense.
That was a process where a lotof tears were shed and it was a
lot of healing.
And I remember.
Tell, I talk about this in oneof my videos.
(24:55):
We did the reimprinting processwith students like you, Robert
would teach, he woulddemonstrate and then you would
go out and try it.
And it's really hard to do forthe first time, even though
you're following the book.
And the people that were guidingme who hadn't really done the
process before, and so we kindagot there, but we didn't get
there.
And I went to Robert.
I said, Hey, I don't know if wequite got it.
(25:16):
I, I feel different.
I feel like we got somethingdifferent here and I think the
limiting belief was somethinglike yeah, it was like I'm
going, nowhere is something likethat.
I'm not going anywhere in mylife.
And so he brought me back intime.
That's the whole idea behindreimprinting brought me back in
time.
And it was an incident that Idon't really know if it actually
happened or not.
That's not what's important.
Is it the visuals and everythingwas manifest from the wounds
(25:40):
memories reconstruct of, soagain, it's a reconstruction of
something that you're feeling.
And the feeling was that I wasrunning away from my father who
was angry at me when I was like,I don't know, three or four
years old.
And I'm trying to run down ahall and he's coming up behind
me and I feel his hand on myshoulder.
And so I was, we got back tothat point with Robert, is
(26:00):
walking me through this and he'sokay, so you feel the hand on
your shoulder?
I'm like, yeah.
He says, okay what do you see?
And I was like, I see the end ofthe hallway.
I'm trying to get to my bedroom.
And he says, what are you here?
And I said, I don't hearanything.
He says, bring him the audio.
And and so I did, and it juststruck me like lightning and it
was like, I could hear my fathersaying you're not going anywhere
(26:23):
lines up pretty well with thatbelief, that I had.
And then he said, okay, nowbring in the resources.
I'd already identified someresources that I needed at that
time.
And so I brought them in and Iwas like, and again, I started
to get weak in my knees.
And he said, now, what do youhear?
And I heard my father say, youcan go anywhere.
And then I felt his hand pushme, like releasing me from that
and pushing me forward to go.
(26:43):
Now you can go.
That was again, another, brokedown in tears and everything.
And it was just like, it reallyshattered something inside of
me, but also built up somethingnew.
And that's when I reallyrealized it was like, okay,
yeah.
Okay.
I can go anywhere now.
I've got that permission.
I feel that wound.
And from that point on, it waslike full steam ahead.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (27:05):
Wow.
That's pretty transformational.
There's these unconsciousprocesses that were holding you
back, from your childhood orsome kind of structure there,
that was, it was influencingyour behaviors to say, I need to
stay in this job.
I need to stay in this marriage.
I need to stay the same.
And you went through thisprocess was it a kind of a
(27:26):
different feeling like you hadthe real, the conscious
realization I need to change andalso a different feeling that
made you take action.
What happened after that?
Damon Cart (27:38):
I wasn't afraid anymore.
I, wasn't afraid to admit the.
The business wasn't for me,before that I, that was like the
scariest thing to admit that Imade a huge mistake, a mistake
that cost me over a hundredthousand dollars, and expenses
of creating this business andall the time and effort that I
put into it, and then the, alsothe thing with my marriage and I
had two kids at the time and itwas like to finally admit that
(28:00):
my marriage was a failure andthat it wasn't, I didn't believe
it was repairable and.
Even to the point where like wewent ahead and tried and I was
like, okay, I'll give thisanother six months.
We go to therapy and see if wecan salvage it.
But deep down inside, I justknew it was done.
And I think what happens is thatyou build these sort of
constructs in your life and yougotta be very careful with the
(28:23):
foundation of those constructsare the foundation of those
constructs are.
I'm doing what I feel like I'msupposed to do based on external
values of your society, yourculture, your family, or, when
other people want you to do orwhat other people think you
should be doing?
You probably will be successfulto a point in building those
constructs.
(28:43):
But then at a certain point,there will be a reckoning
because those constructs arebuilt out of values that were
not your own.
And so what happens is I think.
And I think part of what I wasdoing too, is I was having an
early midlife crisis.
I think what midlife crisis isfor at least for a lot of men,
it's, I think midlife crisismight be different for women,
(29:04):
but you build these things out.
You finally become successful.
You finally make money, you'reapproaching 40, or you're just
beyond 40 years old and yourealize that.
You're still not happy.
You're still so unfulfilled.
You have all the things thatshould indicate that you should
be happy.
You have the house, you have thewife, you have the kids you have
the money, you have the car andyou're still not happy.
(29:25):
So what do you do?
You have to bury yourself insomething, some sort of
distraction to distract you fromhow unfulfilled you are.
And so then maybe you run offwith a younger woman.
Maybe you buy a Ferrari, you doall these kind of crazy things
to distract yourself from thatpain.
And for me, it was more like,okay, I know that's not going to
do it either.
I need to just start over in acertain way, start over and take
(29:46):
with me everything that wasuseful or did make me happy.
I love my kids and I was like,okay, one thing for sure is I'm
staying near my kids.
I'm just not going to live inthe same house.
As my ex wife I learned a lot ofgood business.
I acquired business acumen.
From running that insurancebusiness I learned how to sell
(30:06):
really well because I was,constantly practicing and then
when I learned in LPs startedincorporating the NLP into
sales.
And so all these things werevery useful and I was like,
okay, I can take all this andbring it to a different
business.
It's so important to get clearabout what your values are,
because your values are theindicators of what will fulfill
(30:27):
you.
And when you fulfill yourhighest values, that's what
fulfillment is.
And so it's okay to take half ofyour life.
To figure that out.
Instead of just running off andsaying, okay, I'm confused.
I don't know who I am.
I'm riddled with self doubt.
Okay.
Just I'll just go along withwhat other people want me to do.
I'll go along with what myparents want me to do.
(30:48):
I'll go along with, even withmy, with what my spouse thinks I
should do.
Even though, deep down, I don'treally feel like it's mine.
And again, you, if you're.
Most people are really goodabout, creating these things or
creating success, beingsuccessful, you work at anything
you will be successful.
And w I think the worst thing isbecoming very successful at
(31:08):
something that you really don'tlike because that's the golden
handcuffs.
That's the hardest one to pullout of.
It's the hardest one to breakaway from.
There's a Joseph Campbell quote.
That's something like that, toput your ladder up against
something and really work hardto climb that ladder only to
find out it was up against thewrong wall.
I think a lot of us do this andI think what's even worse is
when you finally discover orrealize that it was the wrong
(31:30):
wall is doubling down on it andsaying no, I'm going to stay
here because I worked hard to behere.
And it's but you're never goingto be fulfilled that way.
You really have to you don'thave to do it exactly how I did
it, but you have to find yourway to your fulfillment.
And the way that you're going todo that is to get very clear
about what you value.
And that's not a process thatyou can only work out on paper.
(31:50):
Like it's great to work that outon paper.
It's great to listen to yourvalues.
I'd still do it about everythree months.
I just break out a notebook andI started asking myself, what do
I want out of my marriage?
What do I want out of mybusiness?
What do I want out of my health?
So I go through all of mydifferent major contexts of my
life.
I, and most of the time we I'vedone this so much now.
(32:12):
The values don't really change,but the process reconnects me
with my values.
The process helps me get clearabout my values and because I do
it like say every three monthsor so, I'm getting feedback
during those three months about,how am I moving in this
direction toward my values?
Am I getting some clarity aboutmy values because of the
feedback that I'm getting andnow I want to go and reevaluate
(32:34):
those values based on the newfeedback that has collected.
And so it's just a process ofgetting clearer and clearer
about this.
And here's the thing, even ifyou don't do any NLP, even if
you don't do any other kind ofpersonal development, just that
process of getting clear andclear about what you want, it
will start showing up in yourlife more.
It is the most amazing thing.
This is what I think they'rereferring to when they talk
(32:55):
about the law of attraction andthe secret, which I have a lot
of criticisms about.
There is some truth to it, andthis is what I think the truth
of it is just when you have thatkind of clarity about what you
want.
You can't not move toward it.
And even when you're notthinking about it, even when
you're not conscious of it, evenwhen you're sleeping, it's
you're still moving toward it.
I was in last year at this time,I was in Rome, Italy, right?
(33:17):
At the time that Corona viruswas ravaging Italy, I still went
and I was walking around Romewith who was the woman, was my
girlfriend at the time has nowbecome my wife.
And I remember just being reallystruck by that.
I was looking around, I waslike, wait a minute.
Why does this seem familiar?
And I started looking around andI was like, What's going on
here.
And I just, I had to think aboutit for a moment.
(33:38):
I had envisioned a lot of whatwas happening at the moment
because a friend of mine hadasked me a few years before he
said, if you had unlimitedfunds, what would you do with
your life?
You don't have to work.
What would you do?
And I said I would travel theworld.
I would learn about history andthen visit those places.
And I would also learnlanguages.
(33:58):
That's exactly what I was doing.
And it just, at that moment itwas a recognition of that.
And that alone is probably themost powerful thing you can do
is just get clear and clearabout what it is you want.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (34:08):
I think most people they don't know what they
want in life.
And one of the, essentially talkabout values.
The biggest regret of the dyingin the book, the top five
regrets of the giant by Bonnie,where is.
I wish I lived a life true tomyself.
Not what others wanted from me.
And the only way to do that isto actually be clear about what
(34:30):
you want and be clear about whatis important to you.
And the, these.
Seminars.
And then this training thatyou've been doing with Robert
Dilts an appeal university andall the other trainings you've
done was an opportunity for youto actually step away from
society, telling you what to doall day.
The insurance company, tellingyou what to do, your wife at the
(34:52):
time, telling you what to do,and actually get that clarity.
And I think.
Whether you take a retreat or aan NLP course, or even start
taking time by doing exercises,watching your YouTube videos
reading books about how to getthat clarity, how to know what
you want is, it's superimportant.
Now fast forward to now, you'verecently got married, happily
(35:15):
married to your wife.
And now you've transitioned to.
To, to coding fully intotraining, NLP, teaching and RP
hunt.
You've got hundreds of thousandsof years on, on, on YouTube,
from.
Everything that you've learnedin personal development in NLP,
in life.
What do you thinks made thebiggest difference to actually
(35:38):
transitioning your life andtransitioning your career to be
able to do what you love forwork and also be happy in life,
in, in relationships and yourlife balance, What's enabled
that
Damon Cart (35:51):
a real turning point for me.
When I was using a lot of thosemodels that I had been taught
early on and I plateaued and Iseem to not be making any more
progress.
And it was so strange becausethat was right at the time that
Steve Andrea's entered my life.
And so I was asking him a lot ofquestions and He said, go read
this book that I wrote calledtransforming yourself.
(36:11):
And I think that it will answerall of your questions.
If not, go ahead and let me knowwhat other questions you have in
the introduction.
That pretty much answered almostall of my questions.
And then I had a lot ofconfusions because he was saying
how to do certain NLP processes.
And they were not the way that Ihad been taught.
And so I questioned him aboutthat and sometimes I even
disagreed with them and he said,okay, look, instead of
disagreeing with me, just go tryit and see what happens.
(36:34):
It was meeting Steve was a hugeupgrade.
And then it was when I learnedthe self-concept model.
That truly now it was not justabout using NLP to solve
problems.
It was NLP for the mostfulfilling life.
That I could be living.
And not only that, realizingthat every time you fulfill that
potential, there's always more.
(36:55):
And so that has been the mostamazing thing to me is that I
don't really pay attention tolike how much, what my life
looks like.
I get to see it sometimes when Ido a log and I go, Oh my God I'm
really living this thing that Idreamed about, but I don't want
to be too bothered by that.
It's more about connecting withmy values.
(37:16):
And then moving in the directionof my values, because anytime
you do, anytime you're abehavior aligns with one of your
values or more than one of yourvalues, you instantly fulfill
it.
You instantly feel it and facilit, you fulfill that value.
And so you feel more fulfilled.
You also have a, if the value isreally high, a highly valued
value, like happiness, joy,freedom, any of those, when you
(37:39):
fulfill that, Then that's whatstarts giving you, you have a
sense of purpose and meaning inlife.
That was something I'd neverhad.
I'd been taught that I was, myparents were very devout
Catholic and would say, the onlyway you're going to have meaning
and purpose in your life is tofollow God.
And I was like, it always feltso empty to me and work for me.
To the point where I finally letgo of religion.
(37:59):
And I just thought you know thisthing about meaning and purpose,
it's just one of those thingsyou have to make up for
yourself, which wasn't a hundredpercent wrong, but it wasn't
until I started working withthis model and discovering what
my highest values were and thensaying to myself, wait a minute.
So this is my highest value.
What happens when I transformthis into a quality of who I am.
(38:20):
And that's when the whole thingjust exploded.
And that was that's when my lifegot to the point where I was
like, okay, now it's about howfulfilled can I be?
Like, how let's really put thisto the test and see what
happens.
And what happens is you take alot of risks, you do things that
a lot of people wouldn't dobecause it's okay.
Like you don't mind failing.
You don't mind.
(38:41):
Falling on your face.
You don't mind, the ups and thedowns, because you are now in
your identity is built into youridentity as fulfillment.
So to answer your question ifthere's two things that I would
say if you want that kind offulfillment and you want that
that, that confidence to takechances to, to walk away from
things you gotta know what yourvalues are and you gotta be very
(39:01):
clear about them.
And then the second step isyou've got to become the person
who fulfills those values.
So it's not just about knowingwhat your values are, because
you can still know what yourvalues are and still experience
a lot of fear and anxiety abouttaking those chances about
acting in alignment with thosevalues.
When you transform into theperson who lives, those values.
(39:23):
Then there's no stopping you.
It's that is when you reach thatpoint.
And so what I, my main, the mainthing that I do as far as
teaching is it's group coachingfor people where I, and my
coaches, and I walk peoplethrough this whole process of
the self-concept model and we dovalue solicitation.
So we're discovering, okay, whatare your highest values?
(39:44):
And then are these valuesshowing up as certain and solid
qualities of who you are andnobody is nobody's values are
showing up that way.
And that's why there's so manyunfulfilled people.
And so we are transforminglives.
As we teach this model, we, youpractice it and you, and I'm
teaching it and I'm practicingit with you as we go through it
(40:05):
and the transformations asthey're happening.
It's just been amazing.
And so I got to a point where itwas like, I can't have those
transformations.
Like I used to like once a week,just go after a transformation.
And it was just the most amazingexperience.
You do that enough and you runout of those qualities to
transform.
It doesn't mean that you stoptransforming.
It's just a slower process.
(40:25):
It's not as smashed bang while,it's more of a incremental
process after that.
What I tell people is that myjob is one of the best jobs or
the best job that I can imaginehaving, because the best thing
is to have your owntransformations.
The second best thing is to beable to help people have those
transformations and sharing thatexperience with them.
When Robert Green, are youfamiliar with Robert Green?
Matt Garrow-Fisher (40:49):
Yeah.
He wrote a mastery.
Didn't he?
The real
Damon Cart (40:53):
master eight and his latest book, the laws of human
nature.
To me, that's one of the bestbooks ever written.
And he says that, we all havenarcissistic tendencies.
And so instead of indulgingthose narcissistic tendencies,
if you really want to befulfilled in your life and you
want to accomplish a lot.
When you see that other personsucceeding, instead of feeling
like, Oh, I, I can do that.
(41:14):
Or I should, I'm better thanthat person.
He said, no rejoice with thatperson almost as if you
accomplished it yourself andthat will get you there.
And that's what I feel like myjob is I get to rejoice with all
of these people who aretransforming.
And so it feels like I'm havingthose transformations all over
again.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (41:33):
Wow.
So that's a serious platform forfulfillment that you have every
day.
In terms of your life can youcompare your life?
A few years ago when you're atstate farm, you and you are
really unhappy, you're in amarriage that wasn't working to
now.
Where you're in a really happymarriage, you're transforming
lives every day.
(41:53):
With this self-concept model andall the other stuff that you
teach online and an offline.
That there's, it strikes me thatyou are living a life with
passion, definitely.
In terms of, you doing NLP everyday my highest values living
your highest values
Damon Cart (42:10):
purpose.
One of my highest values
Matt Garrow-Fisher (42:13):
is one of your highest values.
That's probably why thenpurpose, as you said, it's given
you meaning the relating toRobert, what Robert Green says.
And now you're giving that in inthe seminars and training you do
and you'll say are balanced aswell.
You're learning languages,you're traveling around the
world.
You're spending time here withyour kids.
All those three things I callthat burning from, within living
(42:33):
a life full of passion, purposeand balanced.
What do you think is the onething that's made the biggest
difference for you?
Damon it to burn from it then?
Damon Cart (42:44):
Ooh I don't know if I can narrow it down to one.
What I will say one of the bestthings that I have had, I just
felt like it's something that'salways been with me is not being
afraid to ask for help.
I certainly have been afraid toask for help at times, but in
general before we had GPS andall that I'm old enough to have
(43:05):
driven around in a car before wehad GPS.
And I was never afraid to pullover and ask for directions.
I know that's, that was a jokethat, they used to make a lot
about men not wanting to dothat.
And the women always wanted, togo over and ask for directions
and never been afraid to do thator never, it was never an ego
thing for me.
When I did get the press andsomebody would point out, Hey,
you need help.
(43:26):
I would say, Oh, okay.
I guess you're right.
And then I would go do itinstead of, trying to defend
that.
So there's that I think, and Ithink it goes a little bit, I
think this is connected.
So one of the things when mydad.
My dad was very instilled asdevoutly Catholic and was really
pushing that on me and mybrothers quite a bit to the
point where we, none of us likedit.
(43:46):
In fact, all of us turned awayfrom it, but something else he
would do that he wasn't pushingon me.
And that was this personaldevelopment self-improvement
kind of thing.
And he would go and after wewould all go to bed.
I would hear him in his bedroom,listening to these cassette
tapes.
And it turned out that thesecassette tapes were Zig Ziglar.
(44:08):
They were Tony Robbins, theywere Jim Roan.
And I wanted to know what thosepeople were saying and what I,
when I could hear what they weresaying through the door, what
did the message I kept hearingover and over again was you
don't have to accept how yourlife is now.
You can change it.
You have control here.
You have power here.
(44:28):
You don't have to just say, Oh,my life is miserable.
And then that's just how it isbecause that's the hand you've
been dealt.
The message I kept hearing isthat you can change this.
I actually got to meet Jim Rohn.
When I was about 66, I think itwas 16 years old.
Yeah.
I was 16.
My dad took me to see him.
He was, I think he came to newOrleans.
And I went to I went to hear himtalk and when they had done an
(44:50):
intermission, he stuck aroundduring the intermission and
talked to people.
And so I was like I'm going togo talk to this guy.
And yeah, that was when I thinkback on it, it was like, wow.
I talked to Jim Rowan and hisinfluences felt all throughout
personal development.
You can't get away from it, sohe's one of the greats for sure.
But I think that's what it was.
It's this idea that, you canchange your life.
I think that was I never let goof that.
(45:13):
Even at the worst of times, itwas always this idea that things
will get better and I can makethings better.
So I would say if I had tonarrow it down to one thing,
that'd be the closest thing thatI could narrow it down to.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (45:27):
Yeah.
So it's like a, almost a metabelief.
Of change can happen.
And actually that's, what'senabled you to learn about
changing all of your beliefs andall data, this development work,
and actually burning from withinand having an amazing life now.
Where can people find more aboutyour self-concepts training in
(45:49):
particular?
Because I think that's prettyimportant in terms of.
Helping people with careerchange, working out, like what's
true for them, like how to livean authentic life.
Where can people find out moreabout how to do that?
And also more of your other kindof videos and everything else
that you do.
Damon Cart (46:08):
Sure.
Yeah, so I'm actually in a bitof a transition phase.
I partnered with someone inbusiness who has been a lot more
successful in business than Ihave.
And he actually came to me forcoaching.
He was this CEO of this.
Really successful handful ofvery successful businesses.
And I remember coaching him.
I was like, who are you?
Cause he, you could tell he wasa little bit different.
(46:29):
And then he starts telling meabout his businesses.
And I was like, okay, this isinteresting.
He's coming, he's come to me forcoaching.
But we went through sometransformations.
I coached him for about threemonths.
He comes back about six monthslater and he says, Hey, you want
to go into business together?
And I was like, yeah, let's doit.
So we created something calledthe self-concept research group.
And he was so taken by the modeland the coaching that he
realized, we could, he had avision for bringing this to
(46:52):
everybody put it in the hands ofanybody who wants it.
putting transformation, theability to transform at will
with predictable results in thehands of everyone, like that's
our vision.
So we created this group and ifyou go to self-concept dot com.
You can take an assessment andyou can focus on career.
There's a part of it where youcan focus on career.
(47:13):
And so you, you answer thesequestions, then you get the
results back and that's just thebeginning.
Like you, you learn more aboutwhat it is that you're after and
who do you need to become inorder to have it?
And then so you get thatinformation and then if you want
to have a consult with somebodyto, to talk more about how to go
further with that, then, we makesure we make that information
available to you.
(47:34):
So I'm really focusing now onthe self-concept model life
mastery, Jim is phasing outbecause self-concept has really
become I knew it whenever Ifirst learned the model that it
was going to be, that it was theheight, it was the best model.
The most powerful model that I'dever come across because when
you change the identity level,that changes everything.
There is no bigger, greatergeneralization that we make
(47:55):
other than the self-concept, ittranscends space and time.
It has always been there.
You have never had a time or amemory where you didn't have a
sense of self.
And so that generalization, hascarried through all this time.
And so when you change it, the,your sense of reality changes.
It shifts.
There's no way it can not bepossible that way.
I've since changed my YouTubechannel at first, it was NLP
(48:18):
gym.
When I first started it then Ichanged it to life mastery gym,
and now I think I've settled.
Finally.
I don't think I'm going tochange it again.
I've just changed it to my nameDamon card.
So if you start saving card,you're probably going to get a
lot of my videos rather than myactual channel.
But that's where you're going tofind the majority of the stuff
that I do is on YouTube.
Cause I have should be aboutaround 700 videos now on
(48:39):
YouTube.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (48:41):
Damon, thank you so much for an awesome
conversation.
And guys that Damon is the realdeal when it comes to serious
knowledge and serious hours andhours of practice over many
years with the best trainers inthe world for NLP and having
your own kind of self.
(49:01):
Development gen like lifejourney, transitioning from
where you were back when youwere on the happiest state farm
to where you are now, and likegiving that, giving some of the
structure, how of what's workedfor you, particularly the
self-concept model to, to othersevery day is really the
Testament that you're burningfrom within.
And and yeah I thoroughlyencourage people to.
(49:24):
Go check out the self-conceptmodel.
I certainly will be.
And and all the links to to thatand Damon's work will be in the
show notes.
So thank you very much, Damon.
And keep in touch.
Damon Cart (49:36):
Yeah.
Thank you.
This has been fun.
Awesome.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (49:40):
I loved how Damon shared his story, his own
transformation and real examplesfrom change work.
He went through to change hisbeliefs.
Consistently realigning hisvalues and understanding his own
self-concept to ultimately helpothers too.
Now.
(50:00):
By making passion, one of hishighest values.
He is burning from within, withsolid foundations.
From how he's constructed hislife.
If you want to learn more abouthow to change your self-concept
and get some of thelife-changing breakthroughs.
The Damon had go to self-conceptdot com.
(50:21):
And there's a specificassessment for your career.
You can take for free.
I would also recommend readingSteve and dress his book.
Transforming yourself, whichDamon mentioned in the episode
for background on this awesomemodel.
Stay updated with more inspiringinterviews by hitting the
subscribe button now on yourplayer for the burn from within
(50:42):
podcast and until next time livewith passion purpose and balance
and burn from
On this week's episode, I have Damon
Cart who has a huge career andlife turnaround story.
Only a few years ago, Damonsuffered from depression,
running his own life insurancebusiness as a state farm agent.
While his marriage also brokedown.
Looking for ways to relieve hisdepression.
(00:49):
He found NLP and began atremendous journey of
self-discovery over severalyears.
Training with some of theworld's most renowned NLP
trainers, including Robert Diltsand Steve Andreas.
He's now burning from within.
Recently, happily married to thelove of his life, fulfilling his
dream of being able to travelwhile running his business and
(01:12):
now training and transformingindividuals rapidly with some of
the most powerful models thathave changed his own life,
including changing your own.
Self-concept.
In this episode, we discussspotting signals in life that
you're on the wrong career path.
Damon's experience of depressionfor him spending all day in a
(01:35):
business.
He hated.
Lifting depression in one hourwith NLP versus over a year in
traditional therapy.
Finding an interest thatdeveloped into a passion that
became a business.
Finally being able to make toughbook, congruent life decisions
by shifting limiting beliefs.
(01:57):
The importance of building yourlife.
From your own values, not onesimposed by others.
The self-concept model andtransforming your highest values
into a quality of who you are.
And what's the one thing that'smade Damon cart burn from
within.
The full show notes and videosof other interviews are
(02:20):
available@bonefromwithin.comforward slash interviews.
So listen all the way through.
And enjoy.
I took notice of one of Damon'srecent posts.
It was actually a few days agoon Facebook where he said, One
of the best decisions I evermade.
And then there's a memory fromtwo years ago where it said
today, I'm no longer a statefarm agent.
(02:42):
11 years ago, I began trainingto become an agent.
I opened my agency in September28, 2008 during the height of
the financial crisis andrealized very quickly that
insurance wasn't for me, but itwas too late to turn back.
For five long and hard years.
In spite of myself, I built asuccessful business.
I spent the next five and he iscreating another business that
(03:03):
I'm very passionate about andthat I enjoy to the point that
it doesn't feel like work.
And for this podcast and forwhat this show's all about, I
was like, wow.
Yeah, Damon is amazing, like aMaestro of NLP, which is another
passion of mine.
But to be able to share hiscareer change story I thought it
(03:25):
was going to be just superuseful for you guys.
And so Damon, welcome to theshow.
Thank you for being here.
Damon Cart (03:32):
Thank you.
I really appreciate it.
And it's interesting to me thatpeople find this interesting.
And, but when I think about it,when I felt like I was very much
trapped, which many, probablyperhaps many of your listeners
might be feeling right nowwhere.
They maybe don't, they're not ina solid career yet because they
don't know what career they wantto be in, or they are in a
(03:53):
career and they're not happy andthey'd rather be in something
else.
I've been there and I rememberthinking to myself, if I could
just solve this problem, likelife would be so much better.
And the truth is that yes,indeed.
When you solve this problem,life can be so much better.
Yeah, I was kinda surprised thatpeople were interested in that
post.
I really do appreciate youreaching out seeing that there
was something interesting thereand wanting to talk about it.
(04:15):
Yeah,
Matt Garrow-Fisher (04:15):
sure.
And let's go straight back, butit back in your timeline too
when you were.
When you are unhappy, actually.
And I think a lot of people canrelate to this when you are
unhappy realizing that youchosen like you said, in your
post, the wrong career, but, andyou stuck it out, you made it a
successful business.
(04:36):
How did you know that it was thewrong path for you?
Damon Cart (04:41):
I'll give you the exact moment that it just it
was, it struck me very hard, butI ignored it because I thought,
no, I'm already into this.
I'm gonna I'll fit myself intothis role.
'cause I want it so bad.
I wanted the freedom of havingmy own business.
I hadn't had my own business upuntil that point.
And so I wanted that freedom sobad that I was like, okay, I'll
do whatever.
(05:02):
And the reason why I choseinsurance was because that's
what my father still doesactually.
And he does have a great set upfor himself.
He has, I don't know, five orsix employees.
They run the business, he can goand do pretty much whatever he
wants whenever he wants.
And he does very well.
I go to his financial aid.
So I had just had my first childand my daughter and I was living
(05:23):
in Los Angeles at the time.
And I thought, okay I'm going toshelve my dreams of becoming a
writer and a filmmaker becausenow I have to provide for my
family.
And having kids will make you dothose things.
You started, you get reallyserious about life.
And so there was a lot of truthin that, but the only thing that
I thought to go to, to buy myfreedom list of the create.
(05:44):
A business like my dad had done,because that was the closest
reference point that I had verydifferent though.
But I remember I was having togo and buy suits to begin my
training with state farm.
They train you as an agent forsix to eight months.
And you actually have to show uplike fully dressed and like
you're ready to go veryprofessional.
And I had never worn a suit,even though I had an office job
(06:06):
in Los Angeles, I'd never worn asuit to work before.
And so I start trying on suitsand I was really liking the
suits and I was getting into it.
And I remember just turning andlooking at myself in the mirror
with a suit on.
And there was just somethingthat struck me very hard that
said, this is not, you.
And I re I was like, stunned.
And then I was just like, okay,wipe that away.
(06:27):
This is me, I gotta, I got to goforward with it.
And so I did.
And then every step of the way,like I just wasn't enjoying it.
I wasn't as I finally did openmy office after my training and
everything, I just, it wasreally felt like the resistance
was building the further anddeeper I went into this.
And I think the second time thatI really got struck between the
eyes.
Was so I'm a huge fan of thewriter, Henry Miller and read
(06:50):
probably most of his books justdeeply passionate.
I love his story too, how hejust gave up on all careers and
decided to just write full-timeand just figure it out and any
move to Paris, and I love totravel too, and I love Paris.
And but he never overlyromanticized these things, he
was willing to tell the truthabout it all.
It's about two years into myagency and I decide that I want
(07:13):
to personalize my office more.
I want to make it more mebecause that was what felt was
really missing.
It was like, I'm not reallydoing what I love doing.
And so instead of trying to playthis role, maybe I can try to
make the role adjust to me.
And so I started buying thingslike movie posters, and then I
wanted to buy a poster of HenryMiller.
And I'm just like, I don'treally seen a poster of Henry
Miller, but let me go looking.
(07:34):
And on I couldn't really findmuch.
And finally I found one and itwas a of him at a big surf
where, which is where he hadlived for a while.
And some of the greatestAmerican writers have either
lived there or spend time there,like Hunter S Thompson, Jack
Kerouac.
But anyway, so I find thisposter and it's not like Amazon,
it's not like you just buy itand go, I couldn't even figure
out how to buy it.
(07:54):
And, but I wanted it.
And so I, I just sent a messageon the contact and I said, Hey,
how do I buy this poster?
And somebody responded by emailand said you can just send me a
check and I'll send you theposter.
And it was signed Val Miller.
And I was like, Whoa, that'sthat's Henry Miller's daughter.
(08:14):
And I wasn't sure that I waslike this way, am I really
talking with Henry Miller'sdaughter and or emailing?
And then, so I emailed her backand started trying to work out
the details.
And then she says, you knowwhat?
I noticed that you're in SantaCruz.
Cause in my email signature saidSanta Cruz.
She's I'm in Monterrey, which isnot far from Santa Cruz.
She was like, I'm actuallycoming up to Santa Cruz next
week.
How about I just bring you theposter?
(08:35):
Would you want that?
And I was like, Yeah.
Yeah.
I want to, I would love for youto bring me this poster Henry
Miller's daughter, Henry Millerdied in, I don't know, 84, some
of us are like, this would bethe closest thing to ever
meeting Henry Miller himself.
So sure enough, she shows up andshe looks enough like her father
and I'm just like really excitedand she comes into my office and
I just said, Hey, I just want tomake sure are you Henry Miller's
(08:57):
daughter?
And she says, yeah, And I said,this is such a pleasure for me
to meet you.
I said, your father is writing,changed my life.
And she looks at me and it wasabout 32 years old at the time
she looks at me and she goesreally?
And I was like, yeah.
And she steps back and she goes,and you're so young.
And I was like, I don't knowwhat, I don't know what that
really means.
Okay, sure.
(09:18):
I'll be young.
And then she says, she sits backand she looks me up and down and
she goes, yeah, no, if dad werehere, he would tell you to quit
your job.
I remember just that struck meagain between the eyes.
And I was like, I know that'sexactly what Henry Miller would
tell me.
And I was like, I don't knowwhat to do with that.
I've got babies to feed.
(09:38):
It felt like the weight of theworld was on my shoulders at
that point.
That's when the business was notdoing well.
And I was not happy and I hadjust come out of a depression.
In fact I had suffered fromdepression not, let's say as
partly a result of the businessdoing, spending most of your
days doing something you don'tenjoy.
You, you ride that line withdepression.
There were other things going onthough, but I just remember that
(10:00):
her voice just rang in my earsfor the longest time.
And I just kinda knew thatsomehow this was going to come
out that, I couldn't run fromthis.
And no amount of money that Icould make in a successful
business that I hate that Ireally did not like was never
going to fill that void.
And so those were two momentsthat I kinda, had to take pause
and realize that, I didn'tlisten to it as well as I should
(10:22):
have at the time.
And it wasn't until later whenthings exploded on me that I
really realized, okay, I have todo something different.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (10:30):
What, what made her say that?
What made her say?
I think you should.
I shouldn't be in that career.
Damon Cart (10:39):
Yeah.
I never said I was an expiringwriter.
I never said I was an aspiringartist.
She's obviously she knows she'sin a state farm office.
She knows she's in an insuranceoffice.
She's looking at a guy who sellsinsurance.
And she just said, if dad werehere, she would tell you to
quit.
And yeah, there was no promptingfor that other than, yeah, just
me telling her that her father'swriting changed my life,
(10:59):
somebody is writing can changeyour life and you're not even
interested at all in being anartist or a writer.
But I think there was somethingabout that made her connect dots
and said, Oh okay if you're thatkind of person, this is what my
father would advise you to do.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (11:14):
Wow.
That's that's pretty insaneintuition from her actually, and
makes me think maybe we're in asimulated reality who knows it's
like, or what's something else.
There's some higher power therepotentially.
And so that kind of started theball rolling of okay, that's
planted a seed of, maybe Ishould be doing something else.
(11:36):
What happens next?
In terms of the steps you tookto actually think, okay, I'm
going to do something next.
Damon Cart (11:45):
I had NLP, one of those things too, that seems,
like you're talking about asimulation are, maybe it's
synchronicity and LP had keptshowing up in my life.
And again, that was like thecalling that was knocking on my
door.
And I kept not listening to it.
And so the first time Iexperienced depression was right
after I graduated college.
(12:05):
I was still living in newOrleans at the time.
And a professor of mine who hadtaught the philosophy of
psychology was the name of theclass that I attended.
At the end, he taught us someNLP and he showed us all these
other modalities, these othertherapies.
And he said, okay, now I'm goingto bring out the mother of the
mall.
And so he shows us NLP and I waslike, wow, this is fascinating
stuff.
And I really enjoyed it.
And then after that it wasabout, I don't know, two years
(12:27):
later I was out of college.
I was out of school for thefirst time.
Since I was like three or fouryears old, cause I went to
school non-stop through, allthrough the years.
And I fell into depression beingout of school for the first
time, having not having muchdirection, it was right after
nine 11.
That whole experience justwatching that happen on TV over
and over gave me probably PTSD.
(12:48):
And I was just, there was someother things that had happened
where I was just like.
Didn't know what to do anddidn't want to leave my home.
And I fell into depression.
So I reached out to my professorand I said, Hey, I don't have
health insurance.
So I can, again, I don't have a,I can't afford therapy, but I
believe you can help me.
And he said, yeah, come on in.
He said, I don't need yourmoney.
But every time you come to meyou need to dedicate some time
(13:10):
to, or donate some time tocommunity service or you need to
give money to community service.
He's I don't need your money,but I don't believe in a free
service.
So you need to do that.
I need you to commit to that.
And I said sure.
He said, okay, come back nextweek, came back next week.
And in one session, one, onehour session.
The depression was over.
I walked out of there and I waslike, is this real?
(13:31):
I was, had been suffering formonths and suddenly I'm looking
around at everything seemsgreat.
And everything's normal.
I'm not suffering anymore.
And I remember just having tosit, I was at the campus cause
it was at his office.
I remember just having to sitdown on a bench and just like
what just happened in there.
And it was so bizarre.
That it just lifted that fast.
(13:51):
And I remember thinking tomyself, I really got to learn
this NLP stuff at some point.
So we jumped forward.
Now I'm living in Santa Cruz.
I'm depressed becauseeverything's not the major
things in my life are notworking out my wife at the time.
Ex-wife now.
She's a therapist and she said,you need help.
You.
You're not.
I can tell.
And I remember thinking tomyself, my first knee jerk
(14:13):
reaction was to say no, I'mfine.
And then I was like, no, she'sright.
I'm really not.
And I haven't even beenrecognizing it.
That's how much of a inside of abubble I've been.
And so I go to, I find atherapist now I have health
insurance.
I go to a traditional therapistand it takes a year for me to
come out of the depression.
And I remember thinking this isone year versus NLP, one
session.
(14:34):
And I, I don't want to setthings up for NLP that like
everything happens in just onesession and it'll be as known
for working rapidly.
But that's not going to alwayshappen in one session.
Don't want to, set up other NLPcoaches, like people are coming
to them now and say, Hey, thisguy, on this podcast that you
should be doing this in onesession now.
It's not always like that.
But it was very traditionalpsychotherapy.
(14:55):
He was an older therapist and itgot to a point where after a
year I was feeling really good.
And when I'd go to see him, Iwould feel worse because he only
knew how to get you out of thehole, but he still would want to
discuss your problems and thingsthat you couldn't control.
And it's this isn't helping.
And it was at that point that Irealized I needed to do
(15:15):
something to maintain my mentalhealth.
Just like you would exercise andeat right.
To maintain your physicalhealth.
I just knew that if it didn't dosomething different, I was going
to end up right back in hisoffice.
But I also knew that I needed tomove on.
It was time to stop seeing him.
And was moving to here to SantaCruz.
That's when I was researchingthe market and I was just trying
to learn more and more aboutSanta Cruz, I learned that NLP
(15:37):
had started here.
And again, that's that wholesynchronicity thing.
And what I first did was I hiredan NLP coach and I hired her to
help me solve the problems in mybusiness and to help me maintain
my mental health.
And so she came in and And Ijust drove the woman crazy
because as we were, doing thesessions, I kept wanting to know
what she was doing.
(15:58):
And so I would stop her and say,okay what does that mean?
Or why did you say it that way?
Or, and this just drove her nutsand it would drive me nuts as a
coach, too.
It's I'm either coaching you orI'm teaching you.
They're not the same thing.
We've got to do one or theother.
And about a month after about amonth that she finally just
said, look, you just need to godo the training.
You're obviously interested.
Just go do it.
And this was difficult for mebecause I wasn't doing well in
(16:20):
my business.
And I would have to put this ona credit card and I would have
to justify it to my wife, likewhy I was taking two and a half
weeks out of.
Do out of work to go up to thecampus and do this training.
And even my father was sayinglike, don't do this, don't do
this.
You need to be in your office.
And I was like, I've been doingthe office thing for a few years
(16:42):
now and it's just really notworking.
So I convinced myself I wasdoing it for my business, but
deep down, I was really doing itfor me.
I went to that first training,that first practitioner
training, and it was like, Yeah,I knew for sure it was a calling
and I didn't know what yet.
I think to myself, I wanted tobe an NLP teacher.
I didn't think I wanted to be anNLP coach, but I knew NLP was
going to be a lifelong practice.
(17:04):
And I just felt that it was an Idon't know.
It just, it felt like putting ona glove that just fits so, so
well.
And so I was thinking, okay,next year I'm definitely coming
back.
Whenever they have the masterpractitioner, I'll come back
around and do it then.
But that wasn't enough for me.
After about a week after thattraining, I was like I
experienced what I call NLPwithdrawal.
(17:25):
I was like, I gotta get intoanother NLP training.
So I found another ends in a NLPInstitute up in San Francisco
and I did their practitionertraining.
And then they were holding ahypnosis training after that.
And I was like, okay I've got todo that.
And so at the same time, I hadan LP practice group that I had
started right before I did myfirst training because I was
trying to learn NLP from books.
And that's the other thing too.
People are like I tell peoplestart an NLP practice group and
(17:47):
they're like I only have onetraining or only have two
trainings.
I'm not, a skilled as you are aknowledgeable as you are.
As I started one when I had notraining, I was just like, I
wanted to practice what I wasreading in the books.
Was really utilizing that afterI started doing the training and
so I was practicing every day.
I had a regular practice part inour practice weekly with, I just
could not get enough of thisstuff.
(18:07):
I would show up with my books,to my insurance.
Office.
And when I wasn't meeting withclients, I'd whip up my books
and I would start studyingagain.
But I was still, I was notthinking of I wanted to make a
career out of this or that Iwanted to teach or coach.
Yeah,
Matt Garrow-Fisher (18:22):
it was definitely a passion at that
point.
Damon Cart (18:24):
Exactly.
And that's really what Irecommend when people say I want
to start taking NLP trainingsand I want to be a coach and I
want to be a teacher.
What I tell them is just putthat aside for now.
Not saying that you won't beone, just put it aside for now
and just dive in and just reallyenjoy it and have fun with it.
And if.
All the skills and all the otherthings will come along with
that.
If you're having a good time andyou're enjoying it.
(18:45):
So the summer comes, the nextsummer comes back around.
I had already paid, I don'tknow, put down a deposit on the
master practitioner course, andsome other things started to
happen that just was makingthings a lot harder.
So my marriage was terrible atthis point.
I had just had knee surgery, soI was on crutches and the
university of California atSanta Cruz.
(19:06):
Is the most on handicap friendlyor most unfriendly to handicap
people, as you can imagine, it'sit's all these Hills.
They don't have a lot of ramps.
And so I'm on crutches.
It was going to be verydifficult for me to get through
there and that was going to beon crutches for at least a week.
And then my landlord decided tosell the house.
So they were like, Hey, you guysgot to get out.
(19:27):
And then my wife was putting alot of pressure on me at the
time.
She was like, what?
You have no business steppingoutside of this office with this
business, not doing well.
And you on crutches and, wecould use that money for
something else.
I was just on and on.
So I was this close.
So just bowing out and taking mydeposit bag and my practice
partner at the time, I told themall this and I was trying to
(19:49):
like, get some, I don't know,somebody to tell me like, yeah,
Damon, I think you're right.
You just need to not do thistraining.
He said the exact opposite.
And he said because of all thosethings, I think you really need
to take this training.
And as soon as he said that, Iwas like, you know what?
You're right.
This is what I'm going throughright now is crazy, but things
will always be crazy.
I need to take this time out.
I need to do this for myself andI need to go.
(20:11):
And it was really good that Idid.
It was the master practitionerreally focused on belief change.
And I was carrying so manyreally limiting beliefs about
money limiting beliefs abouthappiness and what I deserved
and what I didn't deserve.
And during that training justgot all busted up.
And I remember thinking tomyself and started telling
(20:32):
people who were close to me inthe chorus.
I was like, I just have thisvery strange feeling that I'm
going to disappoint people wholove me.
And I then went to Robert Diltsand he said let me tell you a
story.
And he recounted the story abouthow he ended up leaving his wife
for the woman who he's marriedto now.
And I remember thinking tomyself, what am I?
He told me that story, so nowit's an interesting story, but I
don't think it applies to me.
(20:54):
And a few days later is when Irealized I needed to get a
divorce, like it was not, mymarriage was not going to work.
And it was the first time I wasable to fully admit to myself
that this business that I'vebeen doing this insurance
business, it was not it's timewas limited.
And I remember walking in thatday to talk to my employees and
our sat them down.
(21:14):
I sat them down and I said,okay, I got to tell everyone
something.
And I said, look, my heart isnot in this.
It never really has.
It's not something that I'm, Idon't know how much longer I'm
going to do this.
And I thought I was going to getthis sort of like shock and
scared look, because I'mbasically saying, I don't know
how much longer you're going tohave a job, but they got, they
all looked relieved.
And I was like, what?
And they said, Damon, we'veknown this ever since we started
(21:37):
working for you.
It was like, sorta, likeeverybody else knew it, but me,
cause I was in denial about it.
And so it was like, okay, that'sinteresting.
And then I decided, okay, that'swhen I was going to become a
coach and I'm going to become ateacher and I'm going to use
this business to fuel that I'mgoing to build this business up
so that I can step out of it andtake the time to build up the
(21:58):
other business, which thenbecame its own journey.
But that was really the turningpoint.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (22:04):
Yeah.
It sounds like you're in abubble of your own reality.
And you couldn't see outsidethat bubble, the clarity of what
was obvious to others how didyou get out of that bubble How
did you arrive at that pointwhere you're like, you know
what, I am going to get adivorce, you know what, I'm
going to quit state farm whatwas it that gave you that
(22:25):
clarity?
Damon Cart (22:27):
No, I wasn't thinking to myself, okay, I'm
going to do this next exerciseand I'm going to focus it on my
marriage.
Actually I think the thing thatI was most focused on was money.
I felt like it was somethingthat had always alluded me.
The more I tried to make it, themore it seemed to move away from
me.
And I remember doing a process.
I think it was called the TetraLima, which is a Zen, I believe
(22:47):
a Zen concept.
That Robert had taken andcreated a process out of.
And I started off with this ideathat you start off with one
polarity of the belief, whichis, here's the belief.
And then you realize actuallythere's there's, it's opposite
it's opposite pole.
And then you go through thisprocess of recognizing well,
okay what if both of thesethings are true at the same
time, even though they'recontradictory and then would
(23:10):
have none of that, neither ofthem are true at the same time.
And as you explore all thesedifferent points, Then you come
back to now understanding all ofthis.
And I remember, and then, sothen you state the belief that
you have now.
And so the beliefs that Istarted off with was, is I'm
terrible at, with money.
By the time I finished it, I waslike, wait a minute.
I'm not terrible with money.
I'm actually really good withmoney.
I always have been really goodwith money.
(23:31):
I've always been frugal.
I know how to save and it waslike, so then that I remember
that day, the rest of her for 24hours, I w I was, my new
information was just slamminginto my head about how I had
managed money and what hadinfluenced me to manage that
money.
I had taken out some reallyexpensive life insurance
policies that just were not likeI remember asking myself what I
(23:53):
recommend my own clients takeout these huge policies with the
amount of money.
What my income is.
I was like, no, I wouldn't evenadvise my clients to do this.
So why would I do this?
Life?
Insurance is important.
I needed it.
Just not these really likeCadillac policies.
It didn't make sense.
So I was like, okay okay go,cancel those, convert them to
term policies, and so I got themoney out of that, which got me
(24:14):
out of out of debt some debtthat I had, and then my expenses
were lower and there was allthese things.
I just, all these ideas.
I was like, how did I not seethis before it was in plain
sight the whole time, but it, sothat process really helped me
break out of that sort of the,those restrictions.
Another thing that happened wasreimprinting Robert has a rubber
didn't create reimprinting, buthe created a certain type of
(24:34):
reimprinting.
He added a piece to it that Ithink is really important.
Where you also give resources tothe other people who were
involved in the, in your imprintas it happened.
And that was really intense.
That was a process where a lotof tears were shed and it was a
lot of healing.
And I remember.
Tell, I talk about this in oneof my videos.
(24:55):
We did the reimprinting processwith students like you, Robert
would teach, he woulddemonstrate and then you would
go out and try it.
And it's really hard to do forthe first time, even though
you're following the book.
And the people that were guidingme who hadn't really done the
process before, and so we kindagot there, but we didn't get
there.
And I went to Robert.
I said, Hey, I don't know if wequite got it.
(25:16):
I, I feel different.
I feel like we got somethingdifferent here and I think the
limiting belief was somethinglike yeah, it was like I'm
going, nowhere is something likethat.
I'm not going anywhere in mylife.
And so he brought me back intime.
That's the whole idea behindreimprinting brought me back in
time.
And it was an incident that Idon't really know if it actually
happened or not.
That's not what's important.
Is it the visuals and everythingwas manifest from the wounds
(25:40):
memories reconstruct of, soagain, it's a reconstruction of
something that you're feeling.
And the feeling was that I wasrunning away from my father who
was angry at me when I was like,I don't know, three or four
years old.
And I'm trying to run down ahall and he's coming up behind
me and I feel his hand on myshoulder.
And so I was, we got back tothat point with Robert, is
(26:00):
walking me through this and he'sokay, so you feel the hand on
your shoulder?
I'm like, yeah.
He says, okay what do you see?
And I was like, I see the end ofthe hallway.
I'm trying to get to my bedroom.
And he says, what are you here?
And I said, I don't hearanything.
He says, bring him the audio.
And and so I did, and it juststruck me like lightning and it
was like, I could hear my fathersaying you're not going anywhere
(26:23):
lines up pretty well with thatbelief, that I had.
And then he said, okay, nowbring in the resources.
I'd already identified someresources that I needed at that
time.
And so I brought them in and Iwas like, and again, I started
to get weak in my knees.
And he said, now, what do youhear?
And I heard my father say, youcan go anywhere.
And then I felt his hand pushme, like releasing me from that
and pushing me forward to go.
(26:43):
Now you can go.
That was again, another, brokedown in tears and everything.
And it was just like, it reallyshattered something inside of
me, but also built up somethingnew.
And that's when I reallyrealized it was like, okay,
yeah.
Okay.
I can go anywhere now.
I've got that permission.
I feel that wound.
And from that point on, it waslike full steam ahead.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (27:05):
Wow.
That's pretty transformational.
There's these unconsciousprocesses that were holding you
back, from your childhood orsome kind of structure there,
that was, it was influencingyour behaviors to say, I need to
stay in this job.
I need to stay in this marriage.
I need to stay the same.
And you went through thisprocess was it a kind of a
(27:26):
different feeling like you hadthe real, the conscious
realization I need to change andalso a different feeling that
made you take action.
What happened after that?
Damon Cart (27:38):
I wasn't afraid anymore.
I, wasn't afraid to admit the.
The business wasn't for me,before that I, that was like the
scariest thing to admit that Imade a huge mistake, a mistake
that cost me over a hundredthousand dollars, and expenses
of creating this business andall the time and effort that I
put into it, and then the, alsothe thing with my marriage and I
had two kids at the time and itwas like to finally admit that
(28:00):
my marriage was a failure andthat it wasn't, I didn't believe
it was repairable and.
Even to the point where like wewent ahead and tried and I was
like, okay, I'll give thisanother six months.
We go to therapy and see if wecan salvage it.
But deep down inside, I justknew it was done.
And I think what happens is thatyou build these sort of
constructs in your life and yougotta be very careful with the
(28:23):
foundation of those constructsare the foundation of those
constructs are.
I'm doing what I feel like I'msupposed to do based on external
values of your society, yourculture, your family, or, when
other people want you to do orwhat other people think you
should be doing?
You probably will be successfulto a point in building those
constructs.
(28:43):
But then at a certain point,there will be a reckoning
because those constructs arebuilt out of values that were
not your own.
And so what happens is I think.
And I think part of what I wasdoing too, is I was having an
early midlife crisis.
I think what midlife crisis isfor at least for a lot of men,
it's, I think midlife crisismight be different for women,
(29:04):
but you build these things out.
You finally become successful.
You finally make money, you'reapproaching 40, or you're just
beyond 40 years old and yourealize that.
You're still not happy.
You're still so unfulfilled.
You have all the things thatshould indicate that you should
be happy.
You have the house, you have thewife, you have the kids you have
the money, you have the car andyou're still not happy.
(29:25):
So what do you do?
You have to bury yourself insomething, some sort of
distraction to distract you fromhow unfulfilled you are.
And so then maybe you run offwith a younger woman.
Maybe you buy a Ferrari, you doall these kind of crazy things
to distract yourself from thatpain.
And for me, it was more like,okay, I know that's not going to
do it either.
I need to just start over in acertain way, start over and take
(29:46):
with me everything that wasuseful or did make me happy.
I love my kids and I was like,okay, one thing for sure is I'm
staying near my kids.
I'm just not going to live inthe same house.
As my ex wife I learned a lot ofgood business.
I acquired business acumen.
From running that insurancebusiness I learned how to sell
(30:06):
really well because I was,constantly practicing and then
when I learned in LPs startedincorporating the NLP into
sales.
And so all these things werevery useful and I was like,
okay, I can take all this andbring it to a different
business.
It's so important to get clearabout what your values are,
because your values are theindicators of what will fulfill
(30:27):
you.
And when you fulfill yourhighest values, that's what
fulfillment is.
And so it's okay to take half ofyour life.
To figure that out.
Instead of just running off andsaying, okay, I'm confused.
I don't know who I am.
I'm riddled with self doubt.
Okay.
Just I'll just go along withwhat other people want me to do.
I'll go along with what myparents want me to do.
(30:48):
I'll go along with, even withmy, with what my spouse thinks I
should do.
Even though, deep down, I don'treally feel like it's mine.
And again, you, if you're.
Most people are really goodabout, creating these things or
creating success, beingsuccessful, you work at anything
you will be successful.
And w I think the worst thing isbecoming very successful at
(31:08):
something that you really don'tlike because that's the golden
handcuffs.
That's the hardest one to pullout of.
It's the hardest one to breakaway from.
There's a Joseph Campbell quote.
That's something like that, toput your ladder up against
something and really work hardto climb that ladder only to
find out it was up against thewrong wall.
I think a lot of us do this andI think what's even worse is
when you finally discover orrealize that it was the wrong
(31:30):
wall is doubling down on it andsaying no, I'm going to stay
here because I worked hard to behere.
And it's but you're never goingto be fulfilled that way.
You really have to you don'thave to do it exactly how I did
it, but you have to find yourway to your fulfillment.
And the way that you're going todo that is to get very clear
about what you value.
And that's not a process thatyou can only work out on paper.
(31:50):
Like it's great to work that outon paper.
It's great to listen to yourvalues.
I'd still do it about everythree months.
I just break out a notebook andI started asking myself, what do
I want out of my marriage?
What do I want out of mybusiness?
What do I want out of my health?
So I go through all of mydifferent major contexts of my
life.
I, and most of the time we I'vedone this so much now.
(32:12):
The values don't really change,but the process reconnects me
with my values.
The process helps me get clearabout my values and because I do
it like say every three monthsor so, I'm getting feedback
during those three months about,how am I moving in this
direction toward my values?
Am I getting some clarity aboutmy values because of the
feedback that I'm getting andnow I want to go and reevaluate
(32:34):
those values based on the newfeedback that has collected.
And so it's just a process ofgetting clearer and clearer
about this.
And here's the thing, even ifyou don't do any NLP, even if
you don't do any other kind ofpersonal development, just that
process of getting clear andclear about what you want, it
will start showing up in yourlife more.
It is the most amazing thing.
This is what I think they'rereferring to when they talk
(32:55):
about the law of attraction andthe secret, which I have a lot
of criticisms about.
There is some truth to it, andthis is what I think the truth
of it is just when you have thatkind of clarity about what you
want.
You can't not move toward it.
And even when you're notthinking about it, even when
you're not conscious of it, evenwhen you're sleeping, it's
you're still moving toward it.
I was in last year at this time,I was in Rome, Italy, right?
(33:17):
At the time that Corona viruswas ravaging Italy, I still went
and I was walking around Romewith who was the woman, was my
girlfriend at the time has nowbecome my wife.
And I remember just being reallystruck by that.
I was looking around, I waslike, wait a minute.
Why does this seem familiar?
And I started looking around andI was like, What's going on
here.
And I just, I had to think aboutit for a moment.
(33:38):
I had envisioned a lot of whatwas happening at the moment
because a friend of mine hadasked me a few years before he
said, if you had unlimitedfunds, what would you do with
your life?
You don't have to work.
What would you do?
And I said I would travel theworld.
I would learn about history andthen visit those places.
And I would also learnlanguages.
(33:58):
That's exactly what I was doing.
And it just, at that moment itwas a recognition of that.
And that alone is probably themost powerful thing you can do
is just get clear and clearabout what it is you want.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (34:08):
I think most people they don't know what they
want in life.
And one of the, essentially talkabout values.
The biggest regret of the dyingin the book, the top five
regrets of the giant by Bonnie,where is.
I wish I lived a life true tomyself.
Not what others wanted from me.
And the only way to do that isto actually be clear about what
(34:30):
you want and be clear about whatis important to you.
And the, these.
Seminars.
And then this training thatyou've been doing with Robert
Dilts an appeal university andall the other trainings you've
done was an opportunity for youto actually step away from
society, telling you what to doall day.
The insurance company, tellingyou what to do, your wife at the
(34:52):
time, telling you what to do,and actually get that clarity.
And I think.
Whether you take a retreat or aan NLP course, or even start
taking time by doing exercises,watching your YouTube videos
reading books about how to getthat clarity, how to know what
you want is, it's superimportant.
Now fast forward to now, you'verecently got married, happily
(35:15):
married to your wife.
And now you've transitioned to.
To, to coding fully intotraining, NLP, teaching and RP
hunt.
You've got hundreds of thousandsof years on, on, on YouTube,
from.
Everything that you've learnedin personal development in NLP,
in life.
What do you thinks made thebiggest difference to actually
(35:38):
transitioning your life andtransitioning your career to be
able to do what you love forwork and also be happy in life,
in, in relationships and yourlife balance, What's enabled
that
Damon Cart (35:51):
a real turning point for me.
When I was using a lot of thosemodels that I had been taught
early on and I plateaued and Iseem to not be making any more
progress.
And it was so strange becausethat was right at the time that
Steve Andrea's entered my life.
And so I was asking him a lot ofquestions and He said, go read
this book that I wrote calledtransforming yourself.
(36:11):
And I think that it will answerall of your questions.
If not, go ahead and let me knowwhat other questions you have in
the introduction.
That pretty much answered almostall of my questions.
And then I had a lot ofconfusions because he was saying
how to do certain NLP processes.
And they were not the way that Ihad been taught.
And so I questioned him aboutthat and sometimes I even
disagreed with them and he said,okay, look, instead of
disagreeing with me, just go tryit and see what happens.
(36:34):
It was meeting Steve was a hugeupgrade.
And then it was when I learnedthe self-concept model.
That truly now it was not justabout using NLP to solve
problems.
It was NLP for the mostfulfilling life.
That I could be living.
And not only that, realizingthat every time you fulfill that
potential, there's always more.
(36:55):
And so that has been the mostamazing thing to me is that I
don't really pay attention tolike how much, what my life
looks like.
I get to see it sometimes when Ido a log and I go, Oh my God I'm
really living this thing that Idreamed about, but I don't want
to be too bothered by that.
It's more about connecting withmy values.
(37:16):
And then moving in the directionof my values, because anytime
you do, anytime you're abehavior aligns with one of your
values or more than one of yourvalues, you instantly fulfill
it.
You instantly feel it and facilit, you fulfill that value.
And so you feel more fulfilled.
You also have a, if the value isreally high, a highly valued
value, like happiness, joy,freedom, any of those, when you
(37:39):
fulfill that, Then that's whatstarts giving you, you have a
sense of purpose and meaning inlife.
That was something I'd neverhad.
I'd been taught that I was, myparents were very devout
Catholic and would say, the onlyway you're going to have meaning
and purpose in your life is tofollow God.
And I was like, it always feltso empty to me and work for me.
To the point where I finally letgo of religion.
(37:59):
And I just thought you know thisthing about meaning and purpose,
it's just one of those thingsyou have to make up for
yourself, which wasn't a hundredpercent wrong, but it wasn't
until I started working withthis model and discovering what
my highest values were and thensaying to myself, wait a minute.
So this is my highest value.
What happens when I transformthis into a quality of who I am.
(38:20):
And that's when the whole thingjust exploded.
And that was that's when my lifegot to the point where I was
like, okay, now it's about howfulfilled can I be?
Like, how let's really put thisto the test and see what
happens.
And what happens is you take alot of risks, you do things that
a lot of people wouldn't dobecause it's okay.
Like you don't mind failing.
You don't mind.
(38:41):
Falling on your face.
You don't mind, the ups and thedowns, because you are now in
your identity is built into youridentity as fulfillment.
So to answer your question ifthere's two things that I would
say if you want that kind offulfillment and you want that
that, that confidence to takechances to, to walk away from
things you gotta know what yourvalues are and you gotta be very
(39:01):
clear about them.
And then the second step isyou've got to become the person
who fulfills those values.
So it's not just about knowingwhat your values are, because
you can still know what yourvalues are and still experience
a lot of fear and anxiety abouttaking those chances about
acting in alignment with thosevalues.
When you transform into theperson who lives, those values.
(39:23):
Then there's no stopping you.
It's that is when you reach thatpoint.
And so what I, my main, the mainthing that I do as far as
teaching is it's group coachingfor people where I, and my
coaches, and I walk peoplethrough this whole process of
the self-concept model and we dovalue solicitation.
So we're discovering, okay, whatare your highest values?
(39:44):
And then are these valuesshowing up as certain and solid
qualities of who you are andnobody is nobody's values are
showing up that way.
And that's why there's so manyunfulfilled people.
And so we are transforminglives.
As we teach this model, we, youpractice it and you, and I'm
teaching it and I'm practicingit with you as we go through it
(40:05):
and the transformations asthey're happening.
It's just been amazing.
And so I got to a point where itwas like, I can't have those
transformations.
Like I used to like once a week,just go after a transformation.
And it was just the most amazingexperience.
You do that enough and you runout of those qualities to
transform.
It doesn't mean that you stoptransforming.
It's just a slower process.
(40:25):
It's not as smashed bang while,it's more of a incremental
process after that.
What I tell people is that myjob is one of the best jobs or
the best job that I can imaginehaving, because the best thing
is to have your owntransformations.
The second best thing is to beable to help people have those
transformations and sharing thatexperience with them.
When Robert Green, are youfamiliar with Robert Green?
Matt Garrow-Fisher (40:49):
Yeah.
He wrote a mastery.
Didn't he?
The real
Damon Cart (40:53):
master eight and his latest book, the laws of human
nature.
To me, that's one of the bestbooks ever written.
And he says that, we all havenarcissistic tendencies.
And so instead of indulgingthose narcissistic tendencies,
if you really want to befulfilled in your life and you
want to accomplish a lot.
When you see that other personsucceeding, instead of feeling
like, Oh, I, I can do that.
(41:14):
Or I should, I'm better thanthat person.
He said, no rejoice with thatperson almost as if you
accomplished it yourself andthat will get you there.
And that's what I feel like myjob is I get to rejoice with all
of these people who aretransforming.
And so it feels like I'm havingthose transformations all over
again.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (41:33):
Wow.
So that's a serious platform forfulfillment that you have every
day.
In terms of your life can youcompare your life?
A few years ago when you're atstate farm, you and you are
really unhappy, you're in amarriage that wasn't working to
now.
Where you're in a really happymarriage, you're transforming
lives every day.
(41:53):
With this self-concept model andall the other stuff that you
teach online and an offline.
That there's, it strikes me thatyou are living a life with
passion, definitely.
In terms of, you doing NLP everyday my highest values living
your highest values
Damon Cart (42:10):
purpose.
One of my highest values
Matt Garrow-Fisher (42:13):
is one of your highest values.
That's probably why thenpurpose, as you said, it's given
you meaning the relating toRobert, what Robert Green says.
And now you're giving that in inthe seminars and training you do
and you'll say are balanced aswell.
You're learning languages,you're traveling around the
world.
You're spending time here withyour kids.
All those three things I callthat burning from, within living
(42:33):
a life full of passion, purposeand balanced.
What do you think is the onething that's made the biggest
difference for you?
Damon it to burn from it then?
Damon Cart (42:44):
Ooh I don't know if I can narrow it down to one.
What I will say one of the bestthings that I have had, I just
felt like it's something that'salways been with me is not being
afraid to ask for help.
I certainly have been afraid toask for help at times, but in
general before we had GPS andall that I'm old enough to have
(43:05):
driven around in a car before wehad GPS.
And I was never afraid to pullover and ask for directions.
I know that's, that was a jokethat, they used to make a lot
about men not wanting to dothat.
And the women always wanted, togo over and ask for directions
and never been afraid to do thator never, it was never an ego
thing for me.
When I did get the press andsomebody would point out, Hey,
you need help.
(43:26):
I would say, Oh, okay.
I guess you're right.
And then I would go do itinstead of, trying to defend
that.
So there's that I think, and Ithink it goes a little bit, I
think this is connected.
So one of the things when mydad.
My dad was very instilled asdevoutly Catholic and was really
pushing that on me and mybrothers quite a bit to the
point where we, none of us likedit.
(43:46):
In fact, all of us turned awayfrom it, but something else he
would do that he wasn't pushingon me.
And that was this personaldevelopment self-improvement
kind of thing.
And he would go and after wewould all go to bed.
I would hear him in his bedroom,listening to these cassette
tapes.
And it turned out that thesecassette tapes were Zig Ziglar.
(44:08):
They were Tony Robbins, theywere Jim Roan.
And I wanted to know what thosepeople were saying and what I,
when I could hear what they weresaying through the door, what
did the message I kept hearingover and over again was you
don't have to accept how yourlife is now.
You can change it.
You have control here.
You have power here.
(44:28):
You don't have to just say, Oh,my life is miserable.
And then that's just how it isbecause that's the hand you've
been dealt.
The message I kept hearing isthat you can change this.
I actually got to meet Jim Rohn.
When I was about 66, I think itwas 16 years old.
Yeah.
I was 16.
My dad took me to see him.
He was, I think he came to newOrleans.
And I went to I went to hear himtalk and when they had done an
(44:50):
intermission, he stuck aroundduring the intermission and
talked to people.
And so I was like I'm going togo talk to this guy.
And yeah, that was when I thinkback on it, it was like, wow.
I talked to Jim Rowan and hisinfluences felt all throughout
personal development.
You can't get away from it, sohe's one of the greats for sure.
But I think that's what it was.
It's this idea that, you canchange your life.
I think that was I never let goof that.
(45:13):
Even at the worst of times, itwas always this idea that things
will get better and I can makethings better.
So I would say if I had tonarrow it down to one thing,
that'd be the closest thing thatI could narrow it down to.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (45:27):
Yeah.
So it's like a, almost a metabelief.
Of change can happen.
And actually that's, what'senabled you to learn about
changing all of your beliefs andall data, this development work,
and actually burning from withinand having an amazing life now.
Where can people find more aboutyour self-concepts training in
(45:49):
particular?
Because I think that's prettyimportant in terms of.
Helping people with careerchange, working out, like what's
true for them, like how to livean authentic life.
Where can people find out moreabout how to do that?
And also more of your other kindof videos and everything else
that you do.
Damon Cart (46:08):
Sure.
Yeah, so I'm actually in a bitof a transition phase.
I partnered with someone inbusiness who has been a lot more
successful in business than Ihave.
And he actually came to me forcoaching.
He was this CEO of this.
Really successful handful ofvery successful businesses.
And I remember coaching him.
I was like, who are you?
Cause he, you could tell he wasa little bit different.
(46:29):
And then he starts telling meabout his businesses.
And I was like, okay, this isinteresting.
He's coming, he's come to me forcoaching.
But we went through sometransformations.
I coached him for about threemonths.
He comes back about six monthslater and he says, Hey, you want
to go into business together?
And I was like, yeah, let's doit.
So we created something calledthe self-concept research group.
And he was so taken by the modeland the coaching that he
realized, we could, he had avision for bringing this to
(46:52):
everybody put it in the hands ofanybody who wants it.
putting transformation, theability to transform at will
with predictable results in thehands of everyone, like that's
our vision.
So we created this group and ifyou go to self-concept dot com.
You can take an assessment andyou can focus on career.
There's a part of it where youcan focus on career.
(47:13):
And so you, you answer thesequestions, then you get the
results back and that's just thebeginning.
Like you, you learn more aboutwhat it is that you're after and
who do you need to become inorder to have it?
And then so you get thatinformation and then if you want
to have a consult with somebodyto, to talk more about how to go
further with that, then, we makesure we make that information
available to you.
(47:34):
So I'm really focusing now onthe self-concept model life
mastery, Jim is phasing outbecause self-concept has really
become I knew it whenever Ifirst learned the model that it
was going to be, that it was theheight, it was the best model.
The most powerful model that I'dever come across because when
you change the identity level,that changes everything.
There is no bigger, greatergeneralization that we make
(47:55):
other than the self-concept, ittranscends space and time.
It has always been there.
You have never had a time or amemory where you didn't have a
sense of self.
And so that generalization, hascarried through all this time.
And so when you change it, the,your sense of reality changes.
It shifts.
There's no way it can not bepossible that way.
I've since changed my YouTubechannel at first, it was NLP
(48:18):
gym.
When I first started it then Ichanged it to life mastery gym,
and now I think I've settled.
Finally.
I don't think I'm going tochange it again.
I've just changed it to my nameDamon card.
So if you start saving card,you're probably going to get a
lot of my videos rather than myactual channel.
But that's where you're going tofind the majority of the stuff
that I do is on YouTube.
Cause I have should be aboutaround 700 videos now on
(48:39):
YouTube.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (48:41):
Damon, thank you so much for an awesome
conversation.
And guys that Damon is the realdeal when it comes to serious
knowledge and serious hours andhours of practice over many
years with the best trainers inthe world for NLP and having
your own kind of self.
(49:01):
Development gen like lifejourney, transitioning from
where you were back when youwere on the happiest state farm
to where you are now, and likegiving that, giving some of the
structure, how of what's workedfor you, particularly the
self-concept model to, to othersevery day is really the
Testament that you're burningfrom within.
And and yeah I thoroughlyencourage people to.
(49:24):
Go check out the self-conceptmodel.
I certainly will be.
And and all the links to to thatand Damon's work will be in the
show notes.
So thank you very much, Damon.
And keep in touch.
Damon Cart (49:36):
Yeah.
Thank you.
This has been fun.
Awesome.
Matt Garrow-Fisher (49:40):
I loved how Damon shared his story, his own
transformation and real examplesfrom change work.
He went through to change hisbeliefs.
Consistently realigning hisvalues and understanding his own
self-concept to ultimately helpothers too.
Now.
(50:00):
By making passion, one of hishighest values.
He is burning from within, withsolid foundations.
From how he's constructed hislife.
If you want to learn more abouthow to change your self-concept
and get some of thelife-changing breakthroughs.
The Damon had go to self-conceptdot com.
(50:21):
And there's a specificassessment for your career.
You can take for free.
I would also recommend readingSteve and dress his book.
Transforming yourself, whichDamon mentioned in the episode
for background on this awesomemodel.
Stay updated with more inspiringinterviews by hitting the
subscribe button now on yourplayer for the burn from within
(50:42):
podcast and until next time livewith passion purpose and balance
and burn from
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.