December 29, 2020 • 14 mins
This week, I discuss a topic that for some is taken for granted, for others neglected, and for all of us, whether we are young or old, is the true secret to not only happiness but living a long life.
And I’m not talking about anti-ageing creams, botox, ketogenic or paleo diets (although diet is a significant factor in longevity).
I’m talking about being involved in your community.
Resources:
- Ikigai: The Japanese secret to a long and happy life Kindle Edition - the book I recommend you all read detailing interviews of some of the oldest people in the world in Ogimi, Okinawa, Japan
- Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing - Bronnie Ware's book distilling wisdom from hundreds of people in a hospice sharing their biggest regrets when faced with their own imminent mortality
- Coworking Bansko - a community of freelancers, entrepreneurs and digital nomads living in the mountains of Bulgaria (including me) that I mention in the episode
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:27):
This week, I discuss a topicthat for some is taken for
granted, for others neglected.
And for all of us, whether weare young or old.
Is the true secret to not onlyhappiness, but living a long
life.
And I'm not talking aboutanti-aging creams, Botox.
(00:48):
Ketogenic or paleo diets.
Although diet is a significantfactor in longevity.
I'm talking about being involvedin your own community.
There are plenty of athletes,dieticians, philosophers,
personal development, gurus, etcetera.
That can tell you how to live along life.
(01:09):
I ever met an American biohacker when I lived in Chiang
Mai in Thailand.
Who tested out an enormousamount of technology diets,
electrical pulses sent throughhis body and brain all in the
name of finding out whichgadgets or new techniques could
make him live longer.
I looked at his face and therewasn't a smile when he was
(01:31):
talking to me about all thesecontraptions to make him live
longer.
And it made me questioneverything.
He was exploring testing.
On his biology and running hisown scientific experiments.
You see, I believe there is somuch wisdom to be found by
speaking to people who areliving a long and healthy and
(01:52):
happy life.
There is particular wisdom.
And learning from people who arefacing their own.
Imminent mortality.
And I've mentioned several timesin this podcast about Bronnie
Ware's.
The top five regrets of thedying.
Based on interviews.
I have hundreds of people whowere in a hospice.
And knew that only had days orweeks left to live.
(02:15):
Asking, what were their biggestregrets?
Finding the commonalities fromthese interviews, Bronny, who's
an Australian palliative carenurse.
Who conducted these interviews,shares insight, which every one
of us, however old or young,financially rich or poor, happy
or sad right now can learn fromand change their life strategy
(02:37):
as a result of this knowledge toburn from within.
In case you're curious.
Here are the top five regrets.
Number one.
I wish I had the courage to livea life true to myself.
Not the life others expected ofme.
This was the most common regretat all.
(02:57):
Number two.
I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
Number three.
I wish I'd had the courage toexpress my feelings.
Number four.
I wish I had stayed in touchwith my friends and number five.
I wish I'd let myself behappier.
And going back to my strongbelief that there is so much
wisdom to be found.
(03:18):
By speaking to people who areliving a long, healthy, and
happy life.
I came across this incrediblebook.
Years ago, which I've read many,many times and made copious
notes from called ikigai (03:29):
the Japanese secret to a long and
happy life by Hector Garcia andFrancesc Miralles.
In this book, the authorsconduct in-depth interviews with
people living in Ogimi inOkinawa province of Japan which
(03:49):
is home to a significantlyhigher proportion of some of the
oldest people in the world.
Here's an excerpt from the book.
A peaceful life in thecountryside seems pretty common
among people who've watched acentury pass.
Without question.
The international superstar oflongevity is Japan, which has
(04:10):
the highest life expectancy ofany country in the world.
In addition to a healthy dietand an integrated healthcare
system, in which people go tothe doctor for regular checkups
to prevent disease.
Longevity in Japan is closelytied to its culture.
The sense of community and thefact that Japanese people make
(04:31):
an effort to stay active untilthe very end are key elements of
their secret to long life.
If you want to stay busy, evenwhen there's no needs to work.
There has to be an Ikigai onyour horizon.
A purpose that guides youthroughout your life and pushes
you to make things of beauty andutility.
(04:51):
For the community.
And yourself.
Here's some fascinating insightsfrom the interviews in this
book.
100% of the people interviewed.
Keep a vegetable garden, I'llprobably come back to that in a
future episode, to this conceptof having something to tend to.
(05:12):
Very similar concept to twochildren or having meaningful
work.
And really giving a sense ofpurpose in life all belong to
some form of neighborhoodassociation where they feel
cared for as though by family.
They celebrate all the time.
Even little things, music songand dance are central parts of
daily life.
(05:34):
They're passionate abouteverything they do.
However insignificant MIT team.
Locals have a strong sense ofUmaru.
Recognizing the connectionbetween people.
They help each other witheverything from work in the
fields, harvesting sugar cane orplanting rice.
To building houses and municipalprojects.
(05:55):
They are always busy.
But they occupy themselves withtasks.
That allow them to relax.
The researchers of the bookdidn't see a single old grandpa
sitting on a bench doingnothing.
They're always coming and goingto sing karaoke, visit with
neighbors or play a game ofGates bull.
There are no bars and only a fewrestaurants in But those who
(06:18):
live there enjoy a rich sociallife That revolves around
community centers The town isdivided into 17 neighborhoods
and each one has a president andseveral people in charge of
things like culture festivalssocial activities and longevity
Is this sense of community thatwe may lose when we leave our
(06:40):
job, or if we don't have afamily nearby us.
Right now I am what some peoplecall a digital nomad.
I've been living away from theUK for several years now.
the UK was my home for most ofmy life.
My sense of community might bedifferent.
(07:00):
To those who stay where theirfamilies are based.
And yet.
When I was living in London.
My sense of community people whoI regularly connected with was
derived from work colleagues.
Occasionally seeing friends fromuniversity or home.
Or my mum and dad every fewweeks.
(07:20):
That feeling I had when I was atuniversity and all of my friends
live nearby.
And we're so much more availableto meet up.
Was taken for granted at thetime until I was out in the big,
bad world myself.
To find that sense of belonging.
Was rare.
It seemed.
Among many of my peers.
(07:41):
When I lived in St.
Alban's just outside of London.
I knew no one there.
But a small community ofneighbors all in the same row of
terraced Victorian cottages.
And it helped, I lived acrossthe road from a lovely pub.
Itself, providing a venue forcommunity.
Made my sense of belonging,happiness, togetherness
(08:02):
connection, a whole newexperience.
When neighbors started to moveaway from our street.
Because of having kids or morekids.
The dynamic has certainlychanged.
And so the quest.
To restore community beganagain.
As a side note, many newapartment buildings.
(08:24):
Now that I've noticed,particularly in big cities like
London or incorporating areas tosocialize with neighbors from
the same building because ofthis need for connection.
And so when I traveled away fromthe UK with no community coming
with me, I made it a consciouschoice, a strategy.
(08:44):
To either find communities inthe local area where I lived to
plug into and get that sense ofbelonging.
Or create my own.
In 2018.
I started a small meetup groupcalled Chiang Mai at life is
beautiful.
With the sole purpose ofbringing people together,
forming new connections,friendships I organized fun day
(09:08):
trips at the weekends towaterfalls.
Bamboo rafting with elephants,arranging private conversations
with respected monks in thecommunity to learn about their
values, culture, and traditionsCamping trips, road trips.
Some people that were only intown for a week, others stuck
around and came back again andagain, from having no community.
(09:31):
To a small community of peoplethat I regularly hung out with.
I could ask to a group dinnerfrequently, have fun adventure
in connection with made all thedifference to my life.
And from feedback from others inthe group.
Made a huge difference to theirlives too.
Many of the people left again togo back to their home countries.
(09:53):
Or explore a new part of theworld.
The adventurous souls that theywere in fact, I too left and
came back several times,continuing my travels and
finding new communities andSwitzerland Portugal.
Bali India and other countries.
And on one of those trips.
When helping to run an NLPretreat in the Himalayas.
(10:14):
I spent time living amongstlocals in small villages in the
Indian mountain region of speedyValley.
I'd never seen such big smileson humans' faces before.
It was widespread.
The whole community had thiskind of happiness infection.
It seemed.
(10:35):
I asked the head monk from keymonastery Who personally knows
the dalai lama and is highlyrespected in the entire region.
why people seem to be so happyin this area.
Yet their financial wealth wasso much less than anything we're
used to in the West.
One of the things that struck mein what he said was that they
(10:57):
give to their community.
They have strong communities.
It is a part of the culture.
And indeed Buddhism, which was aphilosophy practiced.
In the area.
Taught these values from a youngage.
And so here I am now in Bansko,Bulgaria.
A tiny population of just 12,000people.
(11:18):
How you might be asking, could Ipossibly live here and be happy?
And it just so happens that fouryears ago, a German man by the
name of Mathias.
decided he wanted to live in themountains and build his own
community.
He started a coworking space, sohe could work amongst other
remote workers, but more so tocreate this vital sense of
(11:42):
belonging and community.
There are several people thathave bought decade.
Passes to this coworking space,which is a Testament to the
value.
Of the community now built here.
And just like when I was happyliving in Chiang Mai, Thailand,
or back in St.
Alban's in England.
(12:02):
Now I'm living amongst anamazing community of like-minded
people with meetings organizedmost days of the week events on
hiking group skiing andsnowboarding trips.
Movie nights, et cetera.
Perhaps your community is havinga family kids.
Parents to love for and carefulat the end of the day.
(12:23):
It's about regular, meaningfulhuman connection.
My grandmother was a very activemember of her community in the
tiny village of Taynuilt in theWest Highlands of Scotland.
She was known by everyone there.
I'm regularly visiting herfriends, playing games, singing
songs she played golf untiltheir late eighties lived a long
(12:45):
happy and active life until hernineties You can create
communities anywhere you are.
Whether in the workplace.
At home.
In countries all around theworld and plug into existing
ones too.
Because it's not just for thebenefit of your mental,
physical, and emotional health.
It helps all those you regularlyconnect with live happier and
(13:09):
longer too.
So I want to pose this questionto you.
As a core strategy for yourhappiness.
Longevity and to burn fromwithin.
How actively are you involved inyour local community right now?
However you define it.
How can you keep strengtheningthis vital ingredients, your
(13:30):
happiness and longevity.
On a regular basis.
And what impact will this makeon others lives when you do so?
If you enjoyed this episode,don't forget to subscribe to the
band from within podcast.
Tell your friends about it.
And leave a review or you can doso by going to rate this
(13:51):
podcast.com forward slash burnfrom within that's rate, this
podcast.com forward slash burnfrom within follow the
instructions on that site,according to your own.
Podcast platform that you use.
Until next time live withpassion purpose and balance and
burned from within
This week, I discuss a topicthat for some is taken for
granted, for others neglected.
And for all of us, whether weare young or old.
Is the true secret to not onlyhappiness, but living a long
life.
And I'm not talking aboutanti-aging creams, Botox.
(00:48):
Ketogenic or paleo diets.
Although diet is a significantfactor in longevity.
I'm talking about being involvedin your own community.
There are plenty of athletes,dieticians, philosophers,
personal development, gurus, etcetera.
That can tell you how to live along life.
(01:09):
I ever met an American biohacker when I lived in Chiang
Mai in Thailand.
Who tested out an enormousamount of technology diets,
electrical pulses sent throughhis body and brain all in the
name of finding out whichgadgets or new techniques could
make him live longer.
I looked at his face and therewasn't a smile when he was
(01:31):
talking to me about all thesecontraptions to make him live
longer.
And it made me questioneverything.
He was exploring testing.
On his biology and running hisown scientific experiments.
You see, I believe there is somuch wisdom to be found by
speaking to people who areliving a long and healthy and
(01:52):
happy life.
There is particular wisdom.
And learning from people who arefacing their own.
Imminent mortality.
And I've mentioned several timesin this podcast about Bronnie
Ware's.
The top five regrets of thedying.
Based on interviews.
I have hundreds of people whowere in a hospice.
And knew that only had days orweeks left to live.
(02:15):
Asking, what were their biggestregrets?
Finding the commonalities fromthese interviews, Bronny, who's
an Australian palliative carenurse.
Who conducted these interviews,shares insight, which every one
of us, however old or young,financially rich or poor, happy
or sad right now can learn fromand change their life strategy
(02:37):
as a result of this knowledge toburn from within.
In case you're curious.
Here are the top five regrets.
Number one.
I wish I had the courage to livea life true to myself.
Not the life others expected ofme.
This was the most common regretat all.
(02:57):
Number two.
I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
Number three.
I wish I'd had the courage toexpress my feelings.
Number four.
I wish I had stayed in touchwith my friends and number five.
I wish I'd let myself behappier.
And going back to my strongbelief that there is so much
wisdom to be found.
(03:18):
By speaking to people who areliving a long, healthy, and
happy life.
I came across this incrediblebook.
Years ago, which I've read many,many times and made copious
notes from called ikigai (03:29):
the Japanese secret to a long and
happy life by Hector Garcia andFrancesc Miralles.
In this book, the authorsconduct in-depth interviews with
people living in Ogimi inOkinawa province of Japan which
(03:49):
is home to a significantlyhigher proportion of some of the
oldest people in the world.
Here's an excerpt from the book.
A peaceful life in thecountryside seems pretty common
among people who've watched acentury pass.
Without question.
The international superstar oflongevity is Japan, which has
(04:10):
the highest life expectancy ofany country in the world.
In addition to a healthy dietand an integrated healthcare
system, in which people go tothe doctor for regular checkups
to prevent disease.
Longevity in Japan is closelytied to its culture.
The sense of community and thefact that Japanese people make
(04:31):
an effort to stay active untilthe very end are key elements of
their secret to long life.
If you want to stay busy, evenwhen there's no needs to work.
There has to be an Ikigai onyour horizon.
A purpose that guides youthroughout your life and pushes
you to make things of beauty andutility.
(04:51):
For the community.
And yourself.
Here's some fascinating insightsfrom the interviews in this
book.
100% of the people interviewed.
Keep a vegetable garden, I'llprobably come back to that in a
future episode, to this conceptof having something to tend to.
(05:12):
Very similar concept to twochildren or having meaningful
work.
And really giving a sense ofpurpose in life all belong to
some form of neighborhoodassociation where they feel
cared for as though by family.
They celebrate all the time.
Even little things, music songand dance are central parts of
daily life.
(05:34):
They're passionate abouteverything they do.
However insignificant MIT team.
Locals have a strong sense ofUmaru.
Recognizing the connectionbetween people.
They help each other witheverything from work in the
fields, harvesting sugar cane orplanting rice.
To building houses and municipalprojects.
(05:55):
They are always busy.
But they occupy themselves withtasks.
That allow them to relax.
The researchers of the bookdidn't see a single old grandpa
sitting on a bench doingnothing.
They're always coming and goingto sing karaoke, visit with
neighbors or play a game ofGates bull.
There are no bars and only a fewrestaurants in But those who
(06:18):
live there enjoy a rich sociallife That revolves around
community centers The town isdivided into 17 neighborhoods
and each one has a president andseveral people in charge of
things like culture festivalssocial activities and longevity
Is this sense of community thatwe may lose when we leave our
(06:40):
job, or if we don't have afamily nearby us.
Right now I am what some peoplecall a digital nomad.
I've been living away from theUK for several years now.
the UK was my home for most ofmy life.
My sense of community might bedifferent.
(07:00):
To those who stay where theirfamilies are based.
And yet.
When I was living in London.
My sense of community people whoI regularly connected with was
derived from work colleagues.
Occasionally seeing friends fromuniversity or home.
Or my mum and dad every fewweeks.
(07:20):
That feeling I had when I was atuniversity and all of my friends
live nearby.
And we're so much more availableto meet up.
Was taken for granted at thetime until I was out in the big,
bad world myself.
To find that sense of belonging.
Was rare.
It seemed.
Among many of my peers.
(07:41):
When I lived in St.
Alban's just outside of London.
I knew no one there.
But a small community ofneighbors all in the same row of
terraced Victorian cottages.
And it helped, I lived acrossthe road from a lovely pub.
Itself, providing a venue forcommunity.
Made my sense of belonging,happiness, togetherness
(08:02):
connection, a whole newexperience.
When neighbors started to moveaway from our street.
Because of having kids or morekids.
The dynamic has certainlychanged.
And so the quest.
To restore community beganagain.
As a side note, many newapartment buildings.
(08:24):
Now that I've noticed,particularly in big cities like
London or incorporating areas tosocialize with neighbors from
the same building because ofthis need for connection.
And so when I traveled away fromthe UK with no community coming
with me, I made it a consciouschoice, a strategy.
(08:44):
To either find communities inthe local area where I lived to
plug into and get that sense ofbelonging.
Or create my own.
In 2018.
I started a small meetup groupcalled Chiang Mai at life is
beautiful.
With the sole purpose ofbringing people together,
forming new connections,friendships I organized fun day
(09:08):
trips at the weekends towaterfalls.
Bamboo rafting with elephants,arranging private conversations
with respected monks in thecommunity to learn about their
values, culture, and traditionsCamping trips, road trips.
Some people that were only intown for a week, others stuck
around and came back again andagain, from having no community.
(09:31):
To a small community of peoplethat I regularly hung out with.
I could ask to a group dinnerfrequently, have fun adventure
in connection with made all thedifference to my life.
And from feedback from others inthe group.
Made a huge difference to theirlives too.
Many of the people left again togo back to their home countries.
(09:53):
Or explore a new part of theworld.
The adventurous souls that theywere in fact, I too left and
came back several times,continuing my travels and
finding new communities andSwitzerland Portugal.
Bali India and other countries.
And on one of those trips.
When helping to run an NLPretreat in the Himalayas.
(10:14):
I spent time living amongstlocals in small villages in the
Indian mountain region of speedyValley.
I'd never seen such big smileson humans' faces before.
It was widespread.
The whole community had thiskind of happiness infection.
It seemed.
(10:35):
I asked the head monk from keymonastery Who personally knows
the dalai lama and is highlyrespected in the entire region.
why people seem to be so happyin this area.
Yet their financial wealth wasso much less than anything we're
used to in the West.
One of the things that struck mein what he said was that they
(10:57):
give to their community.
They have strong communities.
It is a part of the culture.
And indeed Buddhism, which was aphilosophy practiced.
In the area.
Taught these values from a youngage.
And so here I am now in Bansko,Bulgaria.
A tiny population of just 12,000people.
(11:18):
How you might be asking, could Ipossibly live here and be happy?
And it just so happens that fouryears ago, a German man by the
name of Mathias.
decided he wanted to live in themountains and build his own
community.
He started a coworking space, sohe could work amongst other
remote workers, but more so tocreate this vital sense of
(11:42):
belonging and community.
There are several people thathave bought decade.
Passes to this coworking space,which is a Testament to the
value.
Of the community now built here.
And just like when I was happyliving in Chiang Mai, Thailand,
or back in St.
Alban's in England.
(12:02):
Now I'm living amongst anamazing community of like-minded
people with meetings organizedmost days of the week events on
hiking group skiing andsnowboarding trips.
Movie nights, et cetera.
Perhaps your community is havinga family kids.
Parents to love for and carefulat the end of the day.
(12:23):
It's about regular, meaningfulhuman connection.
My grandmother was a very activemember of her community in the
tiny village of Taynuilt in theWest Highlands of Scotland.
She was known by everyone there.
I'm regularly visiting herfriends, playing games, singing
songs she played golf untiltheir late eighties lived a long
(12:45):
happy and active life until hernineties You can create
communities anywhere you are.
Whether in the workplace.
At home.
In countries all around theworld and plug into existing
ones too.
Because it's not just for thebenefit of your mental,
physical, and emotional health.
It helps all those you regularlyconnect with live happier and
(13:09):
longer too.
So I want to pose this questionto you.
As a core strategy for yourhappiness.
Longevity and to burn fromwithin.
How actively are you involved inyour local community right now?
However you define it.
How can you keep strengtheningthis vital ingredients, your
(13:30):
happiness and longevity.
On a regular basis.
And what impact will this makeon others lives when you do so?
If you enjoyed this episode,don't forget to subscribe to the
band from within podcast.
Tell your friends about it.
And leave a review or you can doso by going to rate this
(13:51):
podcast.com forward slash burnfrom within that's rate, this
podcast.com forward slash burnfrom within follow the
instructions on that site,according to your own.
Podcast platform that you use.
Until next time live withpassion purpose and balance and
burned from within
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